The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 1, Episode 15 - Those Gossipin' Men - full transcript
Irritated that Andy is teasing her and her friends because their latest round of gossip has Barney's cut finger ending with him shooting himself dead in just a few hours, Aunt Bee decides to turn the tables on him by hinting that there might be more to a traveling shoe salesman from New York than meets the eye. Andy, Barney, and the rest of the men in town start to speculate about his real occupation and when Wilbur Finch requests a TV for his room at the hotel, the men soon believe he's a talent scout for a television show. They call on him, one by one, to order shoes, but really to audition themselves or their children. Mr.Finch sells 67 pairs of shoes, a new record, and leaves Mayberry renewed, while the men stand there pointing fingers at each other. Bee and Emma smile and wave from across the street.
AND WHEN MILLIE PARSONS
WALKED INTO CHURCH
WITH THAT HAIR,
I COME NEAR
DROPPING MY HYMN BOOK.
I COULDN'T
BELIEVE IT, EITHER.
AFTER BEING A BRUNETTE
ALL THESE YEARS?
AUNT BEE,
CAN I HAVE A CANDY BAR?
NO, DEAR.
I SUPPOSE SHE THINKS
THOSE BLOND STREAKS
IN HER HAIR
MAKE HER LOOK YOUNGER...
SO OUR NEW POSTMAN
WILL GIVE HER A SECOND LOOK.
ANYBODY WHO'D GIVE MILLIE
A SECOND LOOK
WOULD KNOW THOSE BLOND TIPS
CAME STRAIGHT FROM A BOTTLE.
I DECLARE, IT'S DISGUSTING
THE WAY SOME WOMEN
TRY TO BE WHAT THEY AREN'T.
WHY CAN'T I HAVE A CANDY BAR?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T,
OPIE.
NOW STOP
INTERRUPTING ELDERS
WHEN THEY'RE
TALKING.
HERE YOU ARE,
EMMA.
I'LL PUT IT
ON YOUR BILL.
IT COMES TO $1.34.
60 CENTS FOR TOOTHPASTE,
29 CENTS FOR RUBBING ALCOHOL,
45 CENTS FOR PEROXIDE.
I ONLY USE IT FOR GARGLING.
I'M ONE PERSON THAT DOESN'T
TRY TO HIDE HER AGE.
I'M IN MY 40s AND I ADMIT IT.
GOLLY, AUNT BEE.
SHE'S WAY YOUNGER THAN YOU ARE.
SHE'S IN HER 40s
AND YOU'RE ALREADY...
OPIE, WHY DON'T YOU
GO OVER THERE
AND GET YOURSELF
A CANDY BAR.
I JUST DIDN'T WANT
THE BOY TO HEAR.
SPEAKING OF PEOPLE
TRYING TO HIDE THEIR AGE
DO YOU KNOW
THE REAL REASON
ROSE BLAKE
WENT TO RALEIGH?
NO, WHY?
I THOUGHT SHE
VISITED HER NIECE.
THAT'S
HER STORY.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW
SHE WENT TO BUY
A NEW SET OF TEETH.
SHE IS THE
VAINEST THING.
[ WOMEN WHISPERING EXCITEDLY ]
MORNING, LADIES.
MY GOODNESS, DON'T YOU
LOOK HAPPY.
MUST BE CUTTING
SOMEBODY UP PRETTY GOOD.
OH, I WAS
JUST FUNNING.
HOWDY, FRED.
COULD I HAVE SOME
SULFA POWDER.
ANDY,
ARE YOU HURT?
OH, NO.
BARNEY CUT HIS FINGER
TAKING HIS GUN APART.
I DON'T WANT IT
TO GET INFECTED.
HERE'S A SAMPLE.
YOU MIGHT AS WELL SPRINKLE
THE WHOLE THING ON IT.
MUCH OBLIGED,
FRED.
BYE, LADIES.
BYE, ANDY.
JUST A LITTLE CUT.
ANDY COME RUNNING
ALL THE WAY OVER HERE
FOR SULFA POWDER.
ALL THE WAY?
EMMA, THE COURTHOUSE
IS JUST ACROSS THE STREET.
ALL THE SAME
I THINK THERE'S MORE TO THIS...
THAN MEETS THE EYE.
OH, HE SAYS IT'S A SCRATCH
ON HIS FINGER
BUT I NOTICE HE'S CALLING ON
ONE OF THOSE MIRACLE DRUGS
TO HEAL BARNEY.
MY DEAR, I WAS RIGHT THERE
WHEN ANDY CAME RUSHING IN.
BARNEY GOT HIS HAND
CAUGHT IN THE REVOLVER
AND GOT HIS SELF
A SERIOUS INFECTION.
WELL, THE WAY I HEARD IT
BARNEY WAS CLEANING HIS GUN
OR SOMETHING
AND HE RIPPED HIS ARM
CLEAR UP TO HIS SHOULDER.
DID YOU HEAR THE TERRIBLE NEWS?
BARNEY FIFE SHOT HIMSELF
IN THE CHEST.
HOW'S YOUR FINGER?
OH, ALL RIGHT,
I GUESS.
I SUPPOSE THAT SULFA
POWDER WILL FIX IT UP.
YEAH, THEY SAY
THAT'S GOOD STUFF.
YOU THINK I CAN TAKE
THE BANDAGE OFF
AND LET THE AIR TO IT?
THEY SAY AIR'S
GOOD FOR IT.
YEAH, IT'D BE
ALL RIGHT
IF YOU DON'T LET
ANY DIRT GET IN IT.
LET ME SEE IT.
OH, IT LOOKS FINE.
WHERE YOU LOOKING?
IT ISN'T THERE,
IT'S OVER HERE.
WHERE?
RIGHT THERE.
OH, RIGHT THERE?
NO, RIGHT HERE.
OH, THAT LOOKS FINE.
THINK SO?
YEAH.
IT'S MY TRIGGER FINGER.
I LOSE THAT, MIGHT AS WELL
LEAVE THE BUSINESS.
[ Telephone rings ]
GET THAT, WILL YOU?
SHERIFF'S OFFICE.
ARE WE AWARE OF WHAT?!
WELL... WHO?
WHAT'S THAT?
SOMEBODY JUST CALLED
TO SAY I'M DEAD.
YOU'RE WHAT?
THAT CALL.
THEY SAID BARNEY FIFE
SHOT HIMSELF IN THE CHEST.
[ Laughing ]
YOU DID?
YOU'D THINK I'D KNOW
IF I SHOT MYSELF
IN THE CHEST.
THAT'D SMART.
[ LAUGHING ]
I'D THINK SO.
THEY HAD YOU
ALL LAID OUT.
WILL YOU
IMAGINE THAT?
THE DUMB BUNNIES.
SO NOW YOU'RE DEAD.
YEAH.
I'LL BE DARNED.
YOU WEREN'T
VERY OLD.
THEY SAY ONLY
THE GOOD DIE YOUNG.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YESTERDAY YOU LOOKED
SO HEALTHY.
YEAH, FELT GOOD.
YEAH, YESTERDAY
LAUGHING AND HAPPY.
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD
TO LIVE FOR.
YEAH, YEAH, WELL...
YESTERDAY LAUGHING
AND HAPPY AND TODAY...
ACTUALLY, I DON'T THINK
IT'S TOO FUNNY.
* FOR HE WAS
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... *
WHEN YOU STOP AND
THINK ABOUT IT, ANDY
UH... ACTUALLY...
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IT'S NOT
A JOKING MATTER.
WE ALL HAVE
TO GO SOMETIME.
I KNOW, WILL YOU
STOP IT, ANDY?
I WAS JUST FUNNING.
YOU'RE FUNNY
ALL RIGHT.
YOU OUGHT TO GET A JOB
ON ONE OF THOSE
EXCURSION BOATS.
OH, BARNEY...
ANDY, OH, ANDY
WE HEARD THE TERRIBLE NEWS
ABOUT BARNEY.
EVERYBODY'S
TALKING ABOUT IT.
WE CAME JUST
AS SOON AS WE...
BARNEY!
YOU'RE STANDING!
DARN RIGHT I'M STANDING.
ANYTHING WRONG?
BUT WORD'S GOT AROUND
THAT YOU SHOT YOURSELF.
THEY SAY YOU'RE GONE.
WELL, I AIN'T.
I'M RIGHT HERE.
BARNEY FIFE
IN THE FLESH.
NOT MUCH, MAYBE,
BUT I'M HERE.
HOW DID SUCH A STORY
GET OUT ANYHOW?
YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T KNOW?
NO, HOW COULD WE?
WELL, WHEN I COME IN
THE DRUG STORE THIS MORNING
TO GET SULFA POWDER
FOR BARNEY'S FINGER
THEY WAS JUST
THREE WOMEN PRESENT.
THEY WAS YOU TWO
AND CLARA LINDSEY.
NOW, YOU WAS THE ONLY ONES
THAT HEARD ME SAY
ABOUT BARNEY HAVING
THIS SMALL CUT.
SO?
SO, FROM A SMALL CUT
IT TOOK YOU ALL
EXACTLY THREE-AND-A-HALF HOURS
TO GET HIM KILLED OFF.
YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE
WE'RE NOTHING BUT GOSSIPS.
ACCORDING TO YOU,
THE LORD MADE TWO SEXES.
MEN AND BLABBERMOUTHS.
OH, THAT WAS WELL PUT,
AUNT BEE.
WELL PUT.
IT WAS VERY CLEVER.
OH, BE QUIET.
I SUPPOSE YOU'RE NOT
CAPABLE OF GOSSIPING.
OH, OH, I GUESS
WE'RE CAPABLE ALL RIGHT.
BUT SOMEHOW OR ANOTHER IT JUST
DON'T COME AS NATURAL TO US
AS IT DOES TO YOU ALL.
OH, REALLY?!
OH, I CAN'T
STAND IT.
COME ALONG, EMMA.
[ SPEAKING INDIGNANTLY ]
SHERIFF,
IN YOUR TIME OF NEED,
IT MIGHT BE
A COMFORT TO KNOW
THAT MONROE'S MORTUARY
IS READY TO SERVE.
WE ALL KNOW
THE GREAT LOSS THAT YOU --
Y-- BARNEY,
YOU'RE STILL WITH US.
YOU'RE DARN RIGHT
I'M STILL WITH US,
AND I'M GONNA STAY
A LONG TIME!
WELL, IN THAT CASE,
I'D BETTER MOVE MY VEHICLE.
IT'S BACKED UP
TO YOUR DOOR.
OUT, OUT!
WHAT IRRITATES ME
IS THAT THEY'RE
SO SMUG ABOUT IT.
WHAT IRRITATES ME,
IT'S JUST NOT TRUE.
WE DON'T GOSSIP.
WE JUST PASS
ALONG NEWS.
WELL, EMMA, LET'S ADMIT IT --
BY THE TIME
IT'S MADE THE FULL CIRCLE
IT HAS GROWN A BIT.
YOU KNOW HOW WE ADD...
[ BUMPING ]
YES, SIR, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
ROOT BEER,
IF YOU PLEASE.
IT GETS MIGHTY DUSTY
ON THE ROAD.
PASSING THROUGH MAYBERRY,
ARE YOU?
WELL, NO,
NOT EXACTLY.
I'LL BE STAYING
A DAY OR SO
IF THINGS GO WELL.
GOOD LUCK
TO YOU.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T SUPPOSE
EITHER OF YOU LADIES
WOULD CARE TO BUY
A PAIR OF SHOES?
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
THAT'S WHAT I SELL, SHOES.
I GUESS YOU'VE GOT
ALL THE SHOES YOU NEED.
THANK YOU
FOR YOUR COURTESY.
OH, IF YOU SHOULD
KNOW OF ANYONE
THAT WOULD LIKE
TO BUY A PAIR OF SHOES,
I HAVE A COMPLETE LINE
THAT I'D BE GLAD TO SHOW
UNDER NO OBLIGATION.
THANK YOU.
I'M STAYING
AT THE HOTEL.
MY GOODNESS.
THAT'S THE TAMEST
TRAVELING SALESMAN
I EVER DID SEE.
OH, EMMA.
"WILBUR FINCH.
REPRESENTATIVE OF
THE MANHATTAN SHOE COMPANY."
NEW YORK CITY. HMM.
WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
OH, YES, GOSSIP.
NOW, EMMA, YOU KNOW
MEN DO THE SAME THING.
WE CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE
TO SOME OF THE STORIES
THAT HAVE COME
OUT OF FLOYD'S BARBERSHOP.
DON'T I KNOW IT.
NEVER MIND, FRED.
AUNT BEE, I MIGHT BE
A LITTLE LATE FOR SUPPER.
ME AND BARNEY HAVE
TO TAKE A RUN
UP TO THE BAXTER PLACE.
WHAT'S GOING ON
UP THERE?
OH, A LITTLE
OFFICIAL BUSINESS.
YEAH, SOME
DURN TRESPASSER
STOLE HIS
"NO TRESPASSING" SIGN.
[ LAUGHING ]
DARN YOU,
THAT'S FUNNY.
OH, WHO WAS THAT,
WHO WAS THAT STRANGER
THAT WAS JUST IN HERE?
I DON'T KNOW, OTHER THAN
THAT HE'S A SHOE SALESMAN
FROM NEW YORK CITY.
IS THAT ALL
YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM?
OF COURSE -- WHAT MORE
SHOULD WE KNOW?
OH, COME ON, NOW,
TWO BUSY TONGUES
AND FOUR SHARP EARS
LIKE YOU GOT?
OH, WELL, REALLY!
ANDREW TAYLOR,
I DON'T LIKE
THE WAY YOU'RE TALKING.
DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION
TO HIM, EMMA,
HE'S JUST TRYING
TO IRRITATE US.
ALL WE KNOW ABOUT HIM
IS THAT HE'S
A SHOE SALESMAN
FROM NEW YORK CITY.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
AT LEAST, THAT'S
WHAT HE SAYS HE IS.
YOU GOT SOME CAUSE
TO BELIEVE HE AIN'T?
HMM, NO.
ONLY THAT, UH...
"ONLY?"
NOW, "ONLY" WHAT?
WELL, NOTHING REALLY.
EXCEPT THAT IT
SEEMED STRANGE
THAT A MAN COMES
ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK
TO SELL SHOES IN MAYBERRY.
WELL, WHAT'S STRANGE
ABOUT THAT?
FELLOW'S GOT A RIGHT
TO SELL SHOES
ANYPLACE HE WANTS TO.
SURE, IT'S
A FREE COUNTRY.
ALL RIGHT.
IT JUST SEEMED
A LITTLE ODD TO ME.
HE DIDN'T TRY VERY HARD
TO SELL US ANY SHOES.
CERTAINLY DIDN'T ACT
LIKE ANY TRAVELING SALESMAN
I EVER SAW.
NOW THERE YOU GO AGAIN.
TRYING TO BUILD SOMETHING
OUT OF NOTHING.
WHAT WAS
ALL THAT FOR?
YOU KNOW HE'S
A SHOE SALESMAN.
I THOUGHT I'D PLANT
A LITTLE DOUBT
IN THAT CONCEITED
MALE MIND.
DO YOU THINK
HE MIGHT START
MAKING SOMETHING
OUT OF THAT?
EMMA, I DON'T THINK,
I KNOW.
HEY, ANDY.
HUH?
WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE
A FELLA'D COME
ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE
FROM NEW YORK
TO SELL SHOES?
I MEAN, MOST SALESMEN
THAT COME AROUND HERE
ARE FROM RALEIGH
OR RICHMOND.
WELL, THIS ONE HAPPENS
TO COME FROM NEW YORK.
YOU AIN'T GOING
TO BE SO THIN-HEADED
AS TO LET THEM WOMEN
GET TO YOU
WITH THEIR RUMORS?
OH, NO, NO. WHAT DO
YOU THINK I AM?
NAIVE OR SOMETHING?
I KNOW
WHAT THE SCORE IS.
IT'S JUST THAT, WELL,
MAYBERRY IS 900 MILES
FROM NEW YORK.
NOW WHY WOULD A FELLER
DRAG HIS SHOES
ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE?
OUR FEET AIN'T
THAT SPECIAL.
NOW, BARNEY.
ALL RIGHT, FORGET IT.
[ Quietly ]
FORGET IT.
HEY, ANDY!
YOU'RE GOING PAST THE CAR.
I KNOW IT.
WHY, ANDY... WE'RE GOING
OUT TO THE BAXTER PLACE,
AREN'T WE?
NO, WE'RE GOING IN
THE HOTEL HERE.
WHAT FOR?
TO FIND OUT ABOUT
THIS SO-CALLED
NEW YORK SHOE SALESMAN.
"MANHATTAN
SHOE COMPANY."
HE'S STICKING
TO THAT STORY.
WHAT IS IT, SHERIFF?
YOU CAN TRUST ME.
ISN'T HE REALLY
A SHOE SALESMAN?
I WOULDN'T BE
TOO SURE, JASON.
HE GIVE ME
HIS BUSINESS CARD.
WELL, THERE'S BEEN FAKE
CARDS PRINTED UP BEFORE.
COULD BE THE OLD
FAKE CARD DODGE.
SHREWD OBSERVATION, BARNEY.
THANK YOU.
LISTEN, SHERIFF.
THE KEY QUESTION IS
IF HE AIN'T
A SHOE SALESMAN
WHAT BUSINESS WOULD A FELLA
FROM NEW YORK
HAVE CLEAR DOWN HERE
IN MAYBERRY?
NOW LOOK, JASON,
YOU'RE A HOTEL MAN.
THIS IS POLICE BUSINESS.
YOU JUST LEAVE THIS
TO US, OKAY?
NOW, ANDY, THE WAY I SEE IT
THE KEY QUESTION IS
IF HE AIN'T A SHOE SALESMAN
WHAT BUSINESS WOULD A FELLA
FROM NEW YORK
HAVE CLEAR DOWN HERE
IN MAYBERRY?
BUT, I, I JUST SAID THAT.
JASON, IF YOU DON'T MIND.
YEAH, YEAH. JASON, YOU KEEP
AN EYE ON THIS FELLA
AND LET US KNOW
IF HE'S UP TO ANYTHING UNUSUAL.
GOTCHA.
OH, BETTER KEEP THIS
UNDER YOUR HAT.
YEAH, IT'S OFFICIAL
BUSINESS, SO...
GOTCHA.
HERE HE COMES.
ACT CASUAL.
[ Louder ]
WE'LL SEE YOU, JASON.
SEE YOU
AROUND, JASE.
[ LAUGHS ]
OH, HI.
HI.
WELL, MR. FINCH.
GOING OUT TO SELL SHOES?
MIGHT AS WELL TRY
AND GET IN A FEW CALLS TODAY.
BY THE WAY, COULD I HAVE
A TELEVISION SET IN MY ROOM?
SORRY, WE DON'T
HAVE ANY.
OH, DEAR, I MUST FIND ONE
FOR TONIGHT.
YOU MUS HUH?
YES.
TELEVISION IS
MIGHTY IMPORTANT TO ME.
AND HE SEEMED
REAL DISAPPOINTED
WHEN I TOLD HIM
WE HAD NO TELEVISION.
SAID TELEVISION IS
"MIGHTY IMPORTANT" TO HIM.
THAT'S STRANGE,
ALL RIGHT.
MIGHTY PECULIAR.
SHH, SHH.
I JUST TRIED TO RENT
A TELEVISION SET.
COULDN'T GET ONE.
I'LL SEE YOU GENTLEMEN.
[ ALL EXCLAIMING ]
HE AIN'T WITH
THE MANHATTAN SHOE COMPANY.
TELEVISION BUSINESS!
THAT'S WHAT HE'S IN.
YOU KNOW THAT
TELEVISION PROGRAM
THAT MANHATTAN SHOW TIME?
THAT'S HIS SHOW.
IT ADDS UP.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FELLOW IS?
A TELEVISION PRODUCER?!
ANDY, ANDY, GUESS WHAT?
AUNT BEE, YOU WAS RIGHT
ABOUT THAT FINCH FELLA.
HE'S NOT A SHOE
SALESMAN AT ALL.
OOH! HE ISN'T?
NO, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS
WHAT HE REALLY IS.
I'M AWFULLY
ANXIOUS TO HEAR.
OKAY, YOU READY?
HE'S A BIG, IMPORTANT
TALENT SCOUT
FROM THE MANHATTAN SHOW TIME
TELEVISION PROGRAM.
I WONDERED WHAT
HE'D TURN OUT TO BE.
HOW ABOUT THAT!
I FIND THIS
VERY INTERESTING
AND SO WILL EMMA.
AIN'T THIS SOMETHIN'?
I'LL SEE YOU, AUNT BEE.
THIS IS A REAL
OPPORTUNITY.
I AGREE
WITH HIM THERE.
I WANT THIS
FINCH FELLA
TO HEAR MY DAUGHTER
PLAY THE ACCORDION.
HE COULD MAKE
HER A STAR.
WHAT ABOUT
MY MARGARET
THE BIRD-CALLER?
CLOSING SHOP.
GOTTA GO
OIL THE STOPS
ON MY BOY'S SAXOPHONE.
I GOT
MY HARMONICA READY.
THIS FELLA'S
TRYING TO KEEP
HIS MISSION
A SECRET.
WORST THING
YOU CAN DO
IS CHARGE OVER THERE
AND SCARE HIM OFF.
WELL, YOU MEAN,
WE CAN'T AUDITION FOR HIM?
WHAT'S THE GOOD
OF A TALENT SCOUT
COMING HERE, IF WE...
[ ALL TALKING AT ONCE ]
WELL, NOW WAIT A MINUTE.
I DIDN'T SAY
YOU CAN'T AUDITION FOR HIM.
ALL I SAID IS, YOU HAVE TO BE
CLEVER ABOUT IT.
NOW THIS FINCH FELLOW
WANTS YOU TO THINK
THAT HE'S A SHOE SALESMAN.
JUST GO ALONG WITH THAT.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
EVERYBODY CAN USE
A PAIR OF SHOES.
[ LAUGHING ]
DESK?
THIS IS MR. FINCH.
WILL YOU GET MY BILL READY,
PLEASE?
YES, I'M CHECKING OUT.
I KNOW I HAD PLANNED ON
STAYING LONGER, BUT...
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
COME IN.
THERE'S REALLY NO REASON TO.
THANK YOU.
YES?
HI.
YOU DIDN'T GET
TO OUR PLACE
SO WE COME HERE.
WHY?
WHAT FOR?
TO BUY SHOES.
YOU WANT TO BUY SHOES
FROM ME?
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE
SELLING, ISN'T IT?
WELL, YES...
I CERTAINLY...
WELL, COME ON IN.
GOSH.
WHAT KIND OF SHOES
DO YOU WANT?
OH, THE BEST YOU GOT.
A PAIR FOR ME
AND A PAIR
FOR THE BOY, EH?
WELL, NOW...
THAT'S SOMETHING.
SIT DOWN,
SIT DOWN OVER THERE.
RIGHT IN THERE.
YEAH.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
OH, DEAR.
UH, SON,
WHILE WE'RE HERE
WHY NOT GIVE US
A LITTLE MUSIC?
WHY DON'T
YOU PLAY US
A LITTLE BIT
OF THAT SAX-A-MANIA.
[ PLAYING SIMPLE SONG ]
[ PLAYS WRONG NOTE ]
[ PLAYING FALTERS ]
[ PLAYING CORRECTLY ]
[ PEOPLE TALKING ]
SHH! SHH! SHH!
I BELIEVE HE'S
FINISHING WITH FLOYD.
GET READY,
WHOEVER'S NEXT.
GOOD LUCK, BARNEY.
SHH! SHH!
HERE'S YOUR
RECEIPT, SIR.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WILL WE BE HEARING
FROM YOU SOON?
WHY, YES,
THE SHOES WILL BE COMING ALONG
IN ABOUT TEN DAYS. C.O.D.
THE SHOES, WHAT SHOES?
OH, OH, THE SHOES.
OH, OH!
MUSTN'T FORGET THOSE SHOES.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T WANT
MY SON TO GIVE YOU
ANOTHER LITTLE TUNE?
NO, NO, NO.
THOSE THREE TUNES
WERE VERY NICE.
YOU HEAR THAT, RANDALL?
THAT MEANS A LOT
COMING FROM A MAN
LIKE MR. FINCH.
GOODBYE, MR. FINCH.
[ CLOSES DOOR ]
I WAS PROUD
OF YOU, BOY.
OH, YOU SHOULD
HAVE HEARD HIM...
[ Whispering ]
JUST KEEP YOUR
VOICES DOWN.
SHH! SHH! SHH!
EVERYBODY,
STAY BACK.
BARNEY,
YOU'RE NEXT.
GOOD LUCK.
[ KNOCKS ]
HOWDY. I'D LIKE TO BUY
A PAIR OF SHOES.
REALLY?
YEAH.
WELL...
[ Blows chord ]
WHAT'LL IT BE?
WELL, WHAT KIND
OF SHOES DO YOU WANT?
HUH?
OH, YEAH.
I ALMOST FORGOT.
OH, SOMETHING
BLACK AND WHITE,
SIZE 7hB.
WE'VE GOT A VERY GOOD
BLACK AND WHITE HERE.
NOW JUST A MINUTE...
HERE IT IS,
RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS
VERY POPULAR.
WILL YOU SIT DOWN
OVER THERE?
OH, SURE.
OKAY.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT ORDERING
A PAIR OF SHOES THAT...
[ LAUGHING ]
TAKE IT EASY ON THE ARCHES THERE
I'M A LITTLE BIT TICKLISH.
YEAH, THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT ORDERING A PAIR OF SHOES
THAT SORT OF MAKES ME
FEEL LIKE PLAYING THE HARMONICA.
REALLY?
WHAT'LL IT BE?
"I'M JUST
A VAGABOND LOVER"?
"ANIMAL CRACKERS"?
"FINICULEE, FINICULA"?
I LIKE THIS ONE.
[ PLAYING
UNRECOGNIZABLE TUNE ]
[ PLAYING ]
OKAY,
SHH! SHH!
BACK UP.
DEBBIE, YOU
WERE WONDERFUL.
HE COULDN'T TAKE HIS EYES
OFF YOU.
OH, YOU SHOULD HAVE
SEEN HER.
THAT'S RIGHT, MR. SIMMONS.
67 PAIRS IN ALL.
REALLY?
A COMPANY RECORD
FOR A DAY'S SALE?
MM, MY.
HMM?
HOW DID I DO IT?
WELL, MR. SIMMONS,
YOU SAY THE GOOD SALESMAN
MUST HAVE
PERSONAL MAGNETISM,
AND WHEN YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE
KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR
AND SERENADING YOU
WHILE THEY'RE BUYING,
WHY, I GUESS YOU'VE GOT IT!
CERTAINLY FINE,
HAVING YOU WITH US.
WE SURE HOPE YOU
COME BACK SOON.
YES, SIR.
[ EVERYONE TALKING AT ONCE ]
Man: ALL RIGHT,
COME BACK, NOW.
COME BACK, NOW.
LOOK AT THEM.
AND THEY HAVE THE NERVE
TO SAY
WE MADE SOMETHING
OUT OF NOTHING?
[ EVERYONE SAYING GOODBYE ]
Man:
WELL, IT WAS MIGHTY NICE
HAVING YOU...
WELL, SIR, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST
SUCCESSFUL TRIP I'VE EVER HAD.
WELL, WE THINK WE GOT A LOT
OF TALENT HERE IN MAYBERRY.
HMM?
OH, SINGERS AND DANCERS.
VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD INDEED.
WELL...
[ STARTING ENGINE ]
UH, MR. FINCH.
UH, YOU THINK ANY OF THEM
ARE GOOD ENOUGH
TO GO ON TELEVISION?
OH, YES, I THINK
THEY ALL ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
[ ENGINE REVVING ]
[ EVERYONE MURMURING ]
WELL, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT MAYBERRY APPRECIATES YOU.
WELL, I APPRECIATE MAYBERRY.
I DON'T MIND ADMITTING
THAT I WAS JUST ABOUT
WASHED UP AS A SHOE SALESMAN.
AND THEN COMING
TO THIS FRIENDLY TOWN
WITH THE RESPONSE YOU GAVE ME
ALL THOSE SALES...
WELL, THERE'LL BE
NO STOPPING ME FROM NOW ON.
BLESS YOU ALL.
DID YOU
HEAR THAT?
HE REALLY IS
A SHOE SALESMAN.
HOW COME
YOU THOUGHT
HE WAS A TALENT
SCOUT, ANDY?
WHERE'D YOU GET
SUCH A NOTION?
IT WAS BARNEY
TOLD ME...
NO, NO, NO.
JASON CALLED ME.
FLOYD, YOU SAID...
[ EVERYONE TALKING AT ONCE ]
HELLO, ANDY.
HEY, AUNT BEE.
WHY, SHERIFF TAYLOR,
WHERE IS THAT FAMOUS
SUNNY DISPOSITION?
THE CHEERY SMILE
AND THE TWINKLING EYE?
OH, I KNOW, I KNOW,
NOW, DON'T TELL ME.
I SHOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD.
IT'S THE NATURAL
DISAPPOINTMENT
AT REALIZING YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO PLAY YOUR GUITAR
ON THE MANHATTAN SHOW TIME
PROGRAM AFTER ALL.
OH, I DO SYMPATHIZE, AN--
NOW, JUST A SHORT MINUTE,
AUNT BEE.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I WAS ONE OF THEM
THAT RUN UP THERE TO AUDITION
FOR THAT FINCH FELLOW?
DIDN'T YOU?
WELL, AUNT --
HI, ANDY,
OH, HI, AUNT BEE.
SAY, I JUST DROPPED
BY THE POST OFFICE.
LOOK WHAT COME FOR YOU.
THREE PAIRS OF SHOES
YOU ORDERED
FROM THAT FINCH FELLER.
SAY, HOW MANY TIMES
DID YOU PLAY FOR HIM?
WALKED INTO CHURCH
WITH THAT HAIR,
I COME NEAR
DROPPING MY HYMN BOOK.
I COULDN'T
BELIEVE IT, EITHER.
AFTER BEING A BRUNETTE
ALL THESE YEARS?
AUNT BEE,
CAN I HAVE A CANDY BAR?
NO, DEAR.
I SUPPOSE SHE THINKS
THOSE BLOND STREAKS
IN HER HAIR
MAKE HER LOOK YOUNGER...
SO OUR NEW POSTMAN
WILL GIVE HER A SECOND LOOK.
ANYBODY WHO'D GIVE MILLIE
A SECOND LOOK
WOULD KNOW THOSE BLOND TIPS
CAME STRAIGHT FROM A BOTTLE.
I DECLARE, IT'S DISGUSTING
THE WAY SOME WOMEN
TRY TO BE WHAT THEY AREN'T.
WHY CAN'T I HAVE A CANDY BAR?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T,
OPIE.
NOW STOP
INTERRUPTING ELDERS
WHEN THEY'RE
TALKING.
HERE YOU ARE,
EMMA.
I'LL PUT IT
ON YOUR BILL.
IT COMES TO $1.34.
60 CENTS FOR TOOTHPASTE,
29 CENTS FOR RUBBING ALCOHOL,
45 CENTS FOR PEROXIDE.
I ONLY USE IT FOR GARGLING.
I'M ONE PERSON THAT DOESN'T
TRY TO HIDE HER AGE.
I'M IN MY 40s AND I ADMIT IT.
GOLLY, AUNT BEE.
SHE'S WAY YOUNGER THAN YOU ARE.
SHE'S IN HER 40s
AND YOU'RE ALREADY...
OPIE, WHY DON'T YOU
GO OVER THERE
AND GET YOURSELF
A CANDY BAR.
I JUST DIDN'T WANT
THE BOY TO HEAR.
SPEAKING OF PEOPLE
TRYING TO HIDE THEIR AGE
DO YOU KNOW
THE REAL REASON
ROSE BLAKE
WENT TO RALEIGH?
NO, WHY?
I THOUGHT SHE
VISITED HER NIECE.
THAT'S
HER STORY.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW
SHE WENT TO BUY
A NEW SET OF TEETH.
SHE IS THE
VAINEST THING.
[ WOMEN WHISPERING EXCITEDLY ]
MORNING, LADIES.
MY GOODNESS, DON'T YOU
LOOK HAPPY.
MUST BE CUTTING
SOMEBODY UP PRETTY GOOD.
OH, I WAS
JUST FUNNING.
HOWDY, FRED.
COULD I HAVE SOME
SULFA POWDER.
ANDY,
ARE YOU HURT?
OH, NO.
BARNEY CUT HIS FINGER
TAKING HIS GUN APART.
I DON'T WANT IT
TO GET INFECTED.
HERE'S A SAMPLE.
YOU MIGHT AS WELL SPRINKLE
THE WHOLE THING ON IT.
MUCH OBLIGED,
FRED.
BYE, LADIES.
BYE, ANDY.
JUST A LITTLE CUT.
ANDY COME RUNNING
ALL THE WAY OVER HERE
FOR SULFA POWDER.
ALL THE WAY?
EMMA, THE COURTHOUSE
IS JUST ACROSS THE STREET.
ALL THE SAME
I THINK THERE'S MORE TO THIS...
THAN MEETS THE EYE.
OH, HE SAYS IT'S A SCRATCH
ON HIS FINGER
BUT I NOTICE HE'S CALLING ON
ONE OF THOSE MIRACLE DRUGS
TO HEAL BARNEY.
MY DEAR, I WAS RIGHT THERE
WHEN ANDY CAME RUSHING IN.
BARNEY GOT HIS HAND
CAUGHT IN THE REVOLVER
AND GOT HIS SELF
A SERIOUS INFECTION.
WELL, THE WAY I HEARD IT
BARNEY WAS CLEANING HIS GUN
OR SOMETHING
AND HE RIPPED HIS ARM
CLEAR UP TO HIS SHOULDER.
DID YOU HEAR THE TERRIBLE NEWS?
BARNEY FIFE SHOT HIMSELF
IN THE CHEST.
HOW'S YOUR FINGER?
OH, ALL RIGHT,
I GUESS.
I SUPPOSE THAT SULFA
POWDER WILL FIX IT UP.
YEAH, THEY SAY
THAT'S GOOD STUFF.
YOU THINK I CAN TAKE
THE BANDAGE OFF
AND LET THE AIR TO IT?
THEY SAY AIR'S
GOOD FOR IT.
YEAH, IT'D BE
ALL RIGHT
IF YOU DON'T LET
ANY DIRT GET IN IT.
LET ME SEE IT.
OH, IT LOOKS FINE.
WHERE YOU LOOKING?
IT ISN'T THERE,
IT'S OVER HERE.
WHERE?
RIGHT THERE.
OH, RIGHT THERE?
NO, RIGHT HERE.
OH, THAT LOOKS FINE.
THINK SO?
YEAH.
IT'S MY TRIGGER FINGER.
I LOSE THAT, MIGHT AS WELL
LEAVE THE BUSINESS.
[ Telephone rings ]
GET THAT, WILL YOU?
SHERIFF'S OFFICE.
ARE WE AWARE OF WHAT?!
WELL... WHO?
WHAT'S THAT?
SOMEBODY JUST CALLED
TO SAY I'M DEAD.
YOU'RE WHAT?
THAT CALL.
THEY SAID BARNEY FIFE
SHOT HIMSELF IN THE CHEST.
[ Laughing ]
YOU DID?
YOU'D THINK I'D KNOW
IF I SHOT MYSELF
IN THE CHEST.
THAT'D SMART.
[ LAUGHING ]
I'D THINK SO.
THEY HAD YOU
ALL LAID OUT.
WILL YOU
IMAGINE THAT?
THE DUMB BUNNIES.
SO NOW YOU'RE DEAD.
YEAH.
I'LL BE DARNED.
YOU WEREN'T
VERY OLD.
THEY SAY ONLY
THE GOOD DIE YOUNG.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YESTERDAY YOU LOOKED
SO HEALTHY.
YEAH, FELT GOOD.
YEAH, YESTERDAY
LAUGHING AND HAPPY.
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD
TO LIVE FOR.
YEAH, YEAH, WELL...
YESTERDAY LAUGHING
AND HAPPY AND TODAY...
ACTUALLY, I DON'T THINK
IT'S TOO FUNNY.
* FOR HE WAS
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... *
WHEN YOU STOP AND
THINK ABOUT IT, ANDY
UH... ACTUALLY...
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IT'S NOT
A JOKING MATTER.
WE ALL HAVE
TO GO SOMETIME.
I KNOW, WILL YOU
STOP IT, ANDY?
I WAS JUST FUNNING.
YOU'RE FUNNY
ALL RIGHT.
YOU OUGHT TO GET A JOB
ON ONE OF THOSE
EXCURSION BOATS.
OH, BARNEY...
ANDY, OH, ANDY
WE HEARD THE TERRIBLE NEWS
ABOUT BARNEY.
EVERYBODY'S
TALKING ABOUT IT.
WE CAME JUST
AS SOON AS WE...
BARNEY!
YOU'RE STANDING!
DARN RIGHT I'M STANDING.
ANYTHING WRONG?
BUT WORD'S GOT AROUND
THAT YOU SHOT YOURSELF.
THEY SAY YOU'RE GONE.
WELL, I AIN'T.
I'M RIGHT HERE.
BARNEY FIFE
IN THE FLESH.
NOT MUCH, MAYBE,
BUT I'M HERE.
HOW DID SUCH A STORY
GET OUT ANYHOW?
YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T KNOW?
NO, HOW COULD WE?
WELL, WHEN I COME IN
THE DRUG STORE THIS MORNING
TO GET SULFA POWDER
FOR BARNEY'S FINGER
THEY WAS JUST
THREE WOMEN PRESENT.
THEY WAS YOU TWO
AND CLARA LINDSEY.
NOW, YOU WAS THE ONLY ONES
THAT HEARD ME SAY
ABOUT BARNEY HAVING
THIS SMALL CUT.
SO?
SO, FROM A SMALL CUT
IT TOOK YOU ALL
EXACTLY THREE-AND-A-HALF HOURS
TO GET HIM KILLED OFF.
YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE
WE'RE NOTHING BUT GOSSIPS.
ACCORDING TO YOU,
THE LORD MADE TWO SEXES.
MEN AND BLABBERMOUTHS.
OH, THAT WAS WELL PUT,
AUNT BEE.
WELL PUT.
IT WAS VERY CLEVER.
OH, BE QUIET.
I SUPPOSE YOU'RE NOT
CAPABLE OF GOSSIPING.
OH, OH, I GUESS
WE'RE CAPABLE ALL RIGHT.
BUT SOMEHOW OR ANOTHER IT JUST
DON'T COME AS NATURAL TO US
AS IT DOES TO YOU ALL.
OH, REALLY?!
OH, I CAN'T
STAND IT.
COME ALONG, EMMA.
[ SPEAKING INDIGNANTLY ]
SHERIFF,
IN YOUR TIME OF NEED,
IT MIGHT BE
A COMFORT TO KNOW
THAT MONROE'S MORTUARY
IS READY TO SERVE.
WE ALL KNOW
THE GREAT LOSS THAT YOU --
Y-- BARNEY,
YOU'RE STILL WITH US.
YOU'RE DARN RIGHT
I'M STILL WITH US,
AND I'M GONNA STAY
A LONG TIME!
WELL, IN THAT CASE,
I'D BETTER MOVE MY VEHICLE.
IT'S BACKED UP
TO YOUR DOOR.
OUT, OUT!
WHAT IRRITATES ME
IS THAT THEY'RE
SO SMUG ABOUT IT.
WHAT IRRITATES ME,
IT'S JUST NOT TRUE.
WE DON'T GOSSIP.
WE JUST PASS
ALONG NEWS.
WELL, EMMA, LET'S ADMIT IT --
BY THE TIME
IT'S MADE THE FULL CIRCLE
IT HAS GROWN A BIT.
YOU KNOW HOW WE ADD...
[ BUMPING ]
YES, SIR, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
ROOT BEER,
IF YOU PLEASE.
IT GETS MIGHTY DUSTY
ON THE ROAD.
PASSING THROUGH MAYBERRY,
ARE YOU?
WELL, NO,
NOT EXACTLY.
I'LL BE STAYING
A DAY OR SO
IF THINGS GO WELL.
GOOD LUCK
TO YOU.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T SUPPOSE
EITHER OF YOU LADIES
WOULD CARE TO BUY
A PAIR OF SHOES?
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
THAT'S WHAT I SELL, SHOES.
I GUESS YOU'VE GOT
ALL THE SHOES YOU NEED.
THANK YOU
FOR YOUR COURTESY.
OH, IF YOU SHOULD
KNOW OF ANYONE
THAT WOULD LIKE
TO BUY A PAIR OF SHOES,
I HAVE A COMPLETE LINE
THAT I'D BE GLAD TO SHOW
UNDER NO OBLIGATION.
THANK YOU.
I'M STAYING
AT THE HOTEL.
MY GOODNESS.
THAT'S THE TAMEST
TRAVELING SALESMAN
I EVER DID SEE.
OH, EMMA.
"WILBUR FINCH.
REPRESENTATIVE OF
THE MANHATTAN SHOE COMPANY."
NEW YORK CITY. HMM.
WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
OH, YES, GOSSIP.
NOW, EMMA, YOU KNOW
MEN DO THE SAME THING.
WE CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE
TO SOME OF THE STORIES
THAT HAVE COME
OUT OF FLOYD'S BARBERSHOP.
DON'T I KNOW IT.
NEVER MIND, FRED.
AUNT BEE, I MIGHT BE
A LITTLE LATE FOR SUPPER.
ME AND BARNEY HAVE
TO TAKE A RUN
UP TO THE BAXTER PLACE.
WHAT'S GOING ON
UP THERE?
OH, A LITTLE
OFFICIAL BUSINESS.
YEAH, SOME
DURN TRESPASSER
STOLE HIS
"NO TRESPASSING" SIGN.
[ LAUGHING ]
DARN YOU,
THAT'S FUNNY.
OH, WHO WAS THAT,
WHO WAS THAT STRANGER
THAT WAS JUST IN HERE?
I DON'T KNOW, OTHER THAN
THAT HE'S A SHOE SALESMAN
FROM NEW YORK CITY.
IS THAT ALL
YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM?
OF COURSE -- WHAT MORE
SHOULD WE KNOW?
OH, COME ON, NOW,
TWO BUSY TONGUES
AND FOUR SHARP EARS
LIKE YOU GOT?
OH, WELL, REALLY!
ANDREW TAYLOR,
I DON'T LIKE
THE WAY YOU'RE TALKING.
DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION
TO HIM, EMMA,
HE'S JUST TRYING
TO IRRITATE US.
ALL WE KNOW ABOUT HIM
IS THAT HE'S
A SHOE SALESMAN
FROM NEW YORK CITY.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
AT LEAST, THAT'S
WHAT HE SAYS HE IS.
YOU GOT SOME CAUSE
TO BELIEVE HE AIN'T?
HMM, NO.
ONLY THAT, UH...
"ONLY?"
NOW, "ONLY" WHAT?
WELL, NOTHING REALLY.
EXCEPT THAT IT
SEEMED STRANGE
THAT A MAN COMES
ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK
TO SELL SHOES IN MAYBERRY.
WELL, WHAT'S STRANGE
ABOUT THAT?
FELLOW'S GOT A RIGHT
TO SELL SHOES
ANYPLACE HE WANTS TO.
SURE, IT'S
A FREE COUNTRY.
ALL RIGHT.
IT JUST SEEMED
A LITTLE ODD TO ME.
HE DIDN'T TRY VERY HARD
TO SELL US ANY SHOES.
CERTAINLY DIDN'T ACT
LIKE ANY TRAVELING SALESMAN
I EVER SAW.
NOW THERE YOU GO AGAIN.
TRYING TO BUILD SOMETHING
OUT OF NOTHING.
WHAT WAS
ALL THAT FOR?
YOU KNOW HE'S
A SHOE SALESMAN.
I THOUGHT I'D PLANT
A LITTLE DOUBT
IN THAT CONCEITED
MALE MIND.
DO YOU THINK
HE MIGHT START
MAKING SOMETHING
OUT OF THAT?
EMMA, I DON'T THINK,
I KNOW.
HEY, ANDY.
HUH?
WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE
A FELLA'D COME
ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE
FROM NEW YORK
TO SELL SHOES?
I MEAN, MOST SALESMEN
THAT COME AROUND HERE
ARE FROM RALEIGH
OR RICHMOND.
WELL, THIS ONE HAPPENS
TO COME FROM NEW YORK.
YOU AIN'T GOING
TO BE SO THIN-HEADED
AS TO LET THEM WOMEN
GET TO YOU
WITH THEIR RUMORS?
OH, NO, NO. WHAT DO
YOU THINK I AM?
NAIVE OR SOMETHING?
I KNOW
WHAT THE SCORE IS.
IT'S JUST THAT, WELL,
MAYBERRY IS 900 MILES
FROM NEW YORK.
NOW WHY WOULD A FELLER
DRAG HIS SHOES
ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE?
OUR FEET AIN'T
THAT SPECIAL.
NOW, BARNEY.
ALL RIGHT, FORGET IT.
[ Quietly ]
FORGET IT.
HEY, ANDY!
YOU'RE GOING PAST THE CAR.
I KNOW IT.
WHY, ANDY... WE'RE GOING
OUT TO THE BAXTER PLACE,
AREN'T WE?
NO, WE'RE GOING IN
THE HOTEL HERE.
WHAT FOR?
TO FIND OUT ABOUT
THIS SO-CALLED
NEW YORK SHOE SALESMAN.
"MANHATTAN
SHOE COMPANY."
HE'S STICKING
TO THAT STORY.
WHAT IS IT, SHERIFF?
YOU CAN TRUST ME.
ISN'T HE REALLY
A SHOE SALESMAN?
I WOULDN'T BE
TOO SURE, JASON.
HE GIVE ME
HIS BUSINESS CARD.
WELL, THERE'S BEEN FAKE
CARDS PRINTED UP BEFORE.
COULD BE THE OLD
FAKE CARD DODGE.
SHREWD OBSERVATION, BARNEY.
THANK YOU.
LISTEN, SHERIFF.
THE KEY QUESTION IS
IF HE AIN'T
A SHOE SALESMAN
WHAT BUSINESS WOULD A FELLA
FROM NEW YORK
HAVE CLEAR DOWN HERE
IN MAYBERRY?
NOW LOOK, JASON,
YOU'RE A HOTEL MAN.
THIS IS POLICE BUSINESS.
YOU JUST LEAVE THIS
TO US, OKAY?
NOW, ANDY, THE WAY I SEE IT
THE KEY QUESTION IS
IF HE AIN'T A SHOE SALESMAN
WHAT BUSINESS WOULD A FELLA
FROM NEW YORK
HAVE CLEAR DOWN HERE
IN MAYBERRY?
BUT, I, I JUST SAID THAT.
JASON, IF YOU DON'T MIND.
YEAH, YEAH. JASON, YOU KEEP
AN EYE ON THIS FELLA
AND LET US KNOW
IF HE'S UP TO ANYTHING UNUSUAL.
GOTCHA.
OH, BETTER KEEP THIS
UNDER YOUR HAT.
YEAH, IT'S OFFICIAL
BUSINESS, SO...
GOTCHA.
HERE HE COMES.
ACT CASUAL.
[ Louder ]
WE'LL SEE YOU, JASON.
SEE YOU
AROUND, JASE.
[ LAUGHS ]
OH, HI.
HI.
WELL, MR. FINCH.
GOING OUT TO SELL SHOES?
MIGHT AS WELL TRY
AND GET IN A FEW CALLS TODAY.
BY THE WAY, COULD I HAVE
A TELEVISION SET IN MY ROOM?
SORRY, WE DON'T
HAVE ANY.
OH, DEAR, I MUST FIND ONE
FOR TONIGHT.
YOU MUS HUH?
YES.
TELEVISION IS
MIGHTY IMPORTANT TO ME.
AND HE SEEMED
REAL DISAPPOINTED
WHEN I TOLD HIM
WE HAD NO TELEVISION.
SAID TELEVISION IS
"MIGHTY IMPORTANT" TO HIM.
THAT'S STRANGE,
ALL RIGHT.
MIGHTY PECULIAR.
SHH, SHH.
I JUST TRIED TO RENT
A TELEVISION SET.
COULDN'T GET ONE.
I'LL SEE YOU GENTLEMEN.
[ ALL EXCLAIMING ]
HE AIN'T WITH
THE MANHATTAN SHOE COMPANY.
TELEVISION BUSINESS!
THAT'S WHAT HE'S IN.
YOU KNOW THAT
TELEVISION PROGRAM
THAT MANHATTAN SHOW TIME?
THAT'S HIS SHOW.
IT ADDS UP.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FELLOW IS?
A TELEVISION PRODUCER?!
ANDY, ANDY, GUESS WHAT?
AUNT BEE, YOU WAS RIGHT
ABOUT THAT FINCH FELLA.
HE'S NOT A SHOE
SALESMAN AT ALL.
OOH! HE ISN'T?
NO, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS
WHAT HE REALLY IS.
I'M AWFULLY
ANXIOUS TO HEAR.
OKAY, YOU READY?
HE'S A BIG, IMPORTANT
TALENT SCOUT
FROM THE MANHATTAN SHOW TIME
TELEVISION PROGRAM.
I WONDERED WHAT
HE'D TURN OUT TO BE.
HOW ABOUT THAT!
I FIND THIS
VERY INTERESTING
AND SO WILL EMMA.
AIN'T THIS SOMETHIN'?
I'LL SEE YOU, AUNT BEE.
THIS IS A REAL
OPPORTUNITY.
I AGREE
WITH HIM THERE.
I WANT THIS
FINCH FELLA
TO HEAR MY DAUGHTER
PLAY THE ACCORDION.
HE COULD MAKE
HER A STAR.
WHAT ABOUT
MY MARGARET
THE BIRD-CALLER?
CLOSING SHOP.
GOTTA GO
OIL THE STOPS
ON MY BOY'S SAXOPHONE.
I GOT
MY HARMONICA READY.
THIS FELLA'S
TRYING TO KEEP
HIS MISSION
A SECRET.
WORST THING
YOU CAN DO
IS CHARGE OVER THERE
AND SCARE HIM OFF.
WELL, YOU MEAN,
WE CAN'T AUDITION FOR HIM?
WHAT'S THE GOOD
OF A TALENT SCOUT
COMING HERE, IF WE...
[ ALL TALKING AT ONCE ]
WELL, NOW WAIT A MINUTE.
I DIDN'T SAY
YOU CAN'T AUDITION FOR HIM.
ALL I SAID IS, YOU HAVE TO BE
CLEVER ABOUT IT.
NOW THIS FINCH FELLOW
WANTS YOU TO THINK
THAT HE'S A SHOE SALESMAN.
JUST GO ALONG WITH THAT.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
EVERYBODY CAN USE
A PAIR OF SHOES.
[ LAUGHING ]
DESK?
THIS IS MR. FINCH.
WILL YOU GET MY BILL READY,
PLEASE?
YES, I'M CHECKING OUT.
I KNOW I HAD PLANNED ON
STAYING LONGER, BUT...
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
COME IN.
THERE'S REALLY NO REASON TO.
THANK YOU.
YES?
HI.
YOU DIDN'T GET
TO OUR PLACE
SO WE COME HERE.
WHY?
WHAT FOR?
TO BUY SHOES.
YOU WANT TO BUY SHOES
FROM ME?
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE
SELLING, ISN'T IT?
WELL, YES...
I CERTAINLY...
WELL, COME ON IN.
GOSH.
WHAT KIND OF SHOES
DO YOU WANT?
OH, THE BEST YOU GOT.
A PAIR FOR ME
AND A PAIR
FOR THE BOY, EH?
WELL, NOW...
THAT'S SOMETHING.
SIT DOWN,
SIT DOWN OVER THERE.
RIGHT IN THERE.
YEAH.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
OH, DEAR.
UH, SON,
WHILE WE'RE HERE
WHY NOT GIVE US
A LITTLE MUSIC?
WHY DON'T
YOU PLAY US
A LITTLE BIT
OF THAT SAX-A-MANIA.
[ PLAYING SIMPLE SONG ]
[ PLAYS WRONG NOTE ]
[ PLAYING FALTERS ]
[ PLAYING CORRECTLY ]
[ PEOPLE TALKING ]
SHH! SHH! SHH!
I BELIEVE HE'S
FINISHING WITH FLOYD.
GET READY,
WHOEVER'S NEXT.
GOOD LUCK, BARNEY.
SHH! SHH!
HERE'S YOUR
RECEIPT, SIR.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WILL WE BE HEARING
FROM YOU SOON?
WHY, YES,
THE SHOES WILL BE COMING ALONG
IN ABOUT TEN DAYS. C.O.D.
THE SHOES, WHAT SHOES?
OH, OH, THE SHOES.
OH, OH!
MUSTN'T FORGET THOSE SHOES.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T WANT
MY SON TO GIVE YOU
ANOTHER LITTLE TUNE?
NO, NO, NO.
THOSE THREE TUNES
WERE VERY NICE.
YOU HEAR THAT, RANDALL?
THAT MEANS A LOT
COMING FROM A MAN
LIKE MR. FINCH.
GOODBYE, MR. FINCH.
[ CLOSES DOOR ]
I WAS PROUD
OF YOU, BOY.
OH, YOU SHOULD
HAVE HEARD HIM...
[ Whispering ]
JUST KEEP YOUR
VOICES DOWN.
SHH! SHH! SHH!
EVERYBODY,
STAY BACK.
BARNEY,
YOU'RE NEXT.
GOOD LUCK.
[ KNOCKS ]
HOWDY. I'D LIKE TO BUY
A PAIR OF SHOES.
REALLY?
YEAH.
WELL...
[ Blows chord ]
WHAT'LL IT BE?
WELL, WHAT KIND
OF SHOES DO YOU WANT?
HUH?
OH, YEAH.
I ALMOST FORGOT.
OH, SOMETHING
BLACK AND WHITE,
SIZE 7hB.
WE'VE GOT A VERY GOOD
BLACK AND WHITE HERE.
NOW JUST A MINUTE...
HERE IT IS,
RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS
VERY POPULAR.
WILL YOU SIT DOWN
OVER THERE?
OH, SURE.
OKAY.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT ORDERING
A PAIR OF SHOES THAT...
[ LAUGHING ]
TAKE IT EASY ON THE ARCHES THERE
I'M A LITTLE BIT TICKLISH.
YEAH, THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT ORDERING A PAIR OF SHOES
THAT SORT OF MAKES ME
FEEL LIKE PLAYING THE HARMONICA.
REALLY?
WHAT'LL IT BE?
"I'M JUST
A VAGABOND LOVER"?
"ANIMAL CRACKERS"?
"FINICULEE, FINICULA"?
I LIKE THIS ONE.
[ PLAYING
UNRECOGNIZABLE TUNE ]
[ PLAYING ]
OKAY,
SHH! SHH!
BACK UP.
DEBBIE, YOU
WERE WONDERFUL.
HE COULDN'T TAKE HIS EYES
OFF YOU.
OH, YOU SHOULD HAVE
SEEN HER.
THAT'S RIGHT, MR. SIMMONS.
67 PAIRS IN ALL.
REALLY?
A COMPANY RECORD
FOR A DAY'S SALE?
MM, MY.
HMM?
HOW DID I DO IT?
WELL, MR. SIMMONS,
YOU SAY THE GOOD SALESMAN
MUST HAVE
PERSONAL MAGNETISM,
AND WHEN YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE
KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR
AND SERENADING YOU
WHILE THEY'RE BUYING,
WHY, I GUESS YOU'VE GOT IT!
CERTAINLY FINE,
HAVING YOU WITH US.
WE SURE HOPE YOU
COME BACK SOON.
YES, SIR.
[ EVERYONE TALKING AT ONCE ]
Man: ALL RIGHT,
COME BACK, NOW.
COME BACK, NOW.
LOOK AT THEM.
AND THEY HAVE THE NERVE
TO SAY
WE MADE SOMETHING
OUT OF NOTHING?
[ EVERYONE SAYING GOODBYE ]
Man:
WELL, IT WAS MIGHTY NICE
HAVING YOU...
WELL, SIR, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST
SUCCESSFUL TRIP I'VE EVER HAD.
WELL, WE THINK WE GOT A LOT
OF TALENT HERE IN MAYBERRY.
HMM?
OH, SINGERS AND DANCERS.
VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD INDEED.
WELL...
[ STARTING ENGINE ]
UH, MR. FINCH.
UH, YOU THINK ANY OF THEM
ARE GOOD ENOUGH
TO GO ON TELEVISION?
OH, YES, I THINK
THEY ALL ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
[ ENGINE REVVING ]
[ EVERYONE MURMURING ]
WELL, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT MAYBERRY APPRECIATES YOU.
WELL, I APPRECIATE MAYBERRY.
I DON'T MIND ADMITTING
THAT I WAS JUST ABOUT
WASHED UP AS A SHOE SALESMAN.
AND THEN COMING
TO THIS FRIENDLY TOWN
WITH THE RESPONSE YOU GAVE ME
ALL THOSE SALES...
WELL, THERE'LL BE
NO STOPPING ME FROM NOW ON.
BLESS YOU ALL.
DID YOU
HEAR THAT?
HE REALLY IS
A SHOE SALESMAN.
HOW COME
YOU THOUGHT
HE WAS A TALENT
SCOUT, ANDY?
WHERE'D YOU GET
SUCH A NOTION?
IT WAS BARNEY
TOLD ME...
NO, NO, NO.
JASON CALLED ME.
FLOYD, YOU SAID...
[ EVERYONE TALKING AT ONCE ]
HELLO, ANDY.
HEY, AUNT BEE.
WHY, SHERIFF TAYLOR,
WHERE IS THAT FAMOUS
SUNNY DISPOSITION?
THE CHEERY SMILE
AND THE TWINKLING EYE?
OH, I KNOW, I KNOW,
NOW, DON'T TELL ME.
I SHOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD.
IT'S THE NATURAL
DISAPPOINTMENT
AT REALIZING YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO PLAY YOUR GUITAR
ON THE MANHATTAN SHOW TIME
PROGRAM AFTER ALL.
OH, I DO SYMPATHIZE, AN--
NOW, JUST A SHORT MINUTE,
AUNT BEE.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I WAS ONE OF THEM
THAT RUN UP THERE TO AUDITION
FOR THAT FINCH FELLOW?
DIDN'T YOU?
WELL, AUNT --
HI, ANDY,
OH, HI, AUNT BEE.
SAY, I JUST DROPPED
BY THE POST OFFICE.
LOOK WHAT COME FOR YOU.
THREE PAIRS OF SHOES
YOU ORDERED
FROM THAT FINCH FELLER.
SAY, HOW MANY TIMES
DID YOU PLAY FOR HIM?