The Amazing World of Gumball (2011–…): Season 6, Episode 2 - The Lady - full transcript

The kids find out Dad has been dressing as a woman to make friends.

[ Upbeat music plays ]

**

**

**

Hmm.

Mmm.

Mr. Corneille:
Take my hand, Nigel!

I have come to show you
the journey within.

Uh, Mr. Small,
is there anything weird

in this candy you brought
back from your vacation?

Fear me not, Nigel!



For I am your
spirit anima-a-a-al!

Um, Mr. Small?
[ Gasps ]

My hands! They're like
spiders made out of meat!

Aah!

[ Auto-tuned howling ]

Mr. Small? Mr. Small!

What is in this candy?!

[ Bleating ]

Ah. It's not candy.
It's a candle.

Sorry, kids, but there's
no school today.

The staff have all been
evacuated to the hospital.

Aah!
[ Siren wails ]

Dude, you can
at least show concern.

[ Tires screech ]
Yeah, you're right.



Come on.
Let's go home.

Mr. Dad will be
surprised to see us.

[ Laughing ] Yeah.

We might interrupt
his third breakfast.

[ Ominous music plays ]

[ Footsteps departing ]

Hey!

Uh, hi, guys. What's up?

School was canceled.
What's that on your lips?

Oh, I, uh...I was
just eating some, uh...

What's that awful stuff
that's like fruit

that people decorate
plates with?

You mean a vegetable?

Uh, yes. That's what
stained my lips --

a vergertule.

What kind?

A re-- a red one?

Okay, stop lying.
We saw her. Who is she?

Uh...what's the name
of those people that you pay

to make your skin cry
until you're thin?

A personal trainer?

That's it!
She was reminding me I have to

go to that place where
the bicycles go nowhere.

You mean the gym?

Yes, the gym.
And I'm late! 'Kay, bye.

I don't think
he's going to the gym.

'Cause the only gym
he goes to is Jim the cashier

at the doughnut store?
No. I mean, yes.

But also because that gym bag
he grabbed was a woman's purse.

[ Imitating Dad ]
Oh, I'm going to the gym.

[ Normal voice ] Liar!

He's buying perfume
for that woman.

Maybe it's just for him.

Yeah, sure, to hide the scent
of his [echoes] shame!

[ Gasps ] Uh...

-Aah!
-[ Echoing ] That was close.

He nearly saw u--

Huh?

[ Normal voice ] I guess
4K's how far you have to stand

away from the camera
so you don't look like

a photo from
a dermatology textbook.

[ Gasps ]
Where did he go?

**

[ Groans ]

[ Gun cocks ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

**

Look, it's the lady
we saw at home.

Well, hello, girls.

Let's eavesdrop.

Ah, Samantha. Finally.

We've been waiting so long,

Angela's clothes
are back in fashion.

[ Canned laughter ]

Better late
than ugly, Maria.

A girl needs to make
some effort for her man.

Samantha, darling,
the last time you were a girl

men still had gills.

[ Canned laughter ]

So, when do we get to meet
elusive boyfriend of yours?

Oh, he's not
elusive, Angela.

He just doesn't like
to answer questions

straightforwardly
and and prefers changing

the subject to avoid them.

Samantha, are you nervous
because we might

judge your new boyfriend?

No, Violet,
she's worried about how

mimes place their orders
at the drive-through.

[ Canned laughter ]

Ah, you younger women
are so demanding.

So what if Samantha's boyfriend
isn't around that much?

As long as a man has a pulse
and a smile, who cares?

I'd be so happy to
get a man with either

of those things, and at my age,
I don't care which.

Do you think he might
have a friend for me?

Yes, Violet.
The Easter Bunny.

[ Canned laughter ]
Samantha: Now, you listen here.

My man does exist!

As a matter of fact, I'm meeting
him in the park later.

[ Both gasp ]
What the wha-a-a-a!!

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Ugh, this is taking forever.

I've not got a lot of time.

Skin and regrets,
yes, but time, no.

Do you think maybe
he's running a little late?

No, Violet.
He arrived on time.

He just set our watches
early for a prank.

[ Canned laughter ]

Both: Hmm...

Oh! There he is.

Hello, sugar.

[ Gasping ]

-Hey, honey.
-Mm!

How's your day been?

[ Both gasp ]

[ Giggling, smooching ]

Oh, it makes my heart
skip a beat to know

that love can still
blossom at our age.

Wait. That's two beats.

Three! Somebody do something!

Ooh!
Oh, yeah, there it is.

Mm! [ Giggles ]

I can't believe it.

Dad always said Mom
was out of his league,

but I never thought
he'd want to get back down

into his own league.

[ Whistling in distance ]
What's that?

The bombshell that just
got dropped on us.

Huh. I always thought
that was a metaphor.

[ Explosion ]

**

[ Gasps ]

We know about Samantha.

Oh.

Well, I guess you were bound
to find out one day.

How do you feel about it?

Oh, just great!

How do you think Mom
would feel about it?!

Well, she's not around
in the day.

I've got to find some way
of keeping myself entertained.

Entertained?!

[ Plate shatters ]

Is it so bad
that I have some fun?

I enjoy the time
I spend with my girls.

Girls?! Plural?!

[ Plate shatters ]

What difference does it make
if it's more than one?

You maggot. How many?

Three at the moment, but,
you know, the more the merrier.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Our dad has
a secret double life.

[ Sniffs ]
Darwin, smash another plate.

[ Gasps ] Hold on.

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

[ Keyboard clacking ]

[ Ding ]

**

[ Door bell chimes ]

**

Dagnabit, I bought
the paper ones.

I don't see what's so wrong with
having a secret double life.

-[ Sobbing ]
-Look how it's already

affecting us!

Yeah, well, only because
it's not secret anymore.

So I was
technically correct.

Nothing wrong with having
a "secret" double life.

[ Voice breaking ] Dad,
this whole thing

is based on lies,
and that's not right!

[ Sighs ]
I understand.

I've deceived
the people I love.

I'm gonna go end it
with the other girls.

Then I'll take
all of Samantha's stuff

down to the junkyard
and burn it in a big bonfire.

Or maybe just tell her
by text or something...?

No. I need to make sure
I can never go back.

Yep. Burning all her stuff in
the dump -- that'll do it.

[ Inhales sharply ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Gasping ]

I'm sure gonna
miss this pretty face.

[ As Samantha ] But at least
I'm bowing out with grace.

[ As himself ] Aah! Darn heels.

[ Door opens, closes ]
Do you realize
what this means?

[ Dramatic chord strikes ]
Of course!

Samantha was in the bathroom
the whole time!

[ Dramatic chord strikes ]
Of course!

Mrs. Mom is Samantha!

[ Piano plays dramatic chord ]

Mr. Dad is...Mrs. Mom?

I'm Mr. Dad?

Dad and Samantha
are the same person!

So we better stop him
before he ruins

his beautiful friendship
with those sassy girls.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Mmm, Maria,
this cheesecake is so good

I want to marry it
and have its cupcakes.

[ Canned laughter ]
Oh, that reminds me

of a story
from Minnesota.

Does it involve
a woman marrying a cake?

Oh no. I'm afraid it was
at a time when society

wasn't as tolerant
as it is now.

People were only
allowed to marry a potato

from a different farm.

[ Canned laughter ]
Can we just skip

the nonsense part
and get to the end please?

Oh. Sure.

The end.

I have a dramatic
announcement to make.

He dumped you
for a slimmer woman.
No.

He dumped you
for a younger woman?
No.

He dumped you for a potato
from a different farm?

What? No.

It's about my
new boyfriend.

He doesn't really exist.

And the rest
of the forfeit.

[ Sighs ]

And there is more.
I've been deceiving y'all.

But I have decided
to break the circle of lies.

My real name
isn't "Samantha."

Wait, so your name's not
Samantha? That's all?

No. There's more.

[ Gasping ]
You're bald?

I'll give you
one more clue.

[ Gasping ]

You're ugly?

Okay, one more clue.

[ Clothes unzip ]
[ Gasping ]

You're a naturist?!

He's a man, Violet!

Well, I guess the clue was
in the name -- Sa-man-tha.

Also, guess what you get
if you switch the letters

of her name around?

"'Thas A Man"!

[ Sighs ] I'm sorry.

But why would
you lie to us?

I was a bored
house husband.

I did try and make
some male friends...

Hey, bro! Did you see
that boxing game last night

with the guy who did
a touchdown in the hoop

with his basketball stick?

[ Whistling ]

[ Dog barks in distance ]

Sorry. Excuse me.

[ Glass clinks ]
Coming through.

Hey, bud, can you pass me
that nut spinner flex?

Here you go.
Wait, what is that?

[ Screams ]

-[ Laughs ]
-Whoo!

-Yeah, nice one!
-Hey! [ Laughs ]

Not.

But I guess I'm just not
that great at being a man.

Then I saw you guys.

You were so free and loving.

You were just being yourselves.

I did what I had to do!

It's not my fault
if society doesn't approve

of men being friends
with mature women.

Literally no one has
a problem with that.

Ah.

Well, in that case, I did
what I didn't have to do.

Well, Richard, there's something
you should know, too --

Samantha, wait!

It's okay, boys.

The cat's out of the bag.

Yeah, or more like
the large pink, naked rabbit

is out of his pants.

But before I go,

I would just like to say
one last thing --

Thank you for being a friend.

No please, wait!

You're not the only one
who lied.

We all felt
the same way.

Yes. Me too.

[ Grunts ]
I guess not.

Well, this is awkward.

So, I guess we'll
just have to go back to

being sad,
lonely old men.

But why don't you just
carry on hanging out as guys?

Unless we keep
dressing up and just pretend

none of this
ever happened!

Together: Mm-hmm!

Or you could
just be friends.

Well, if it's a choice
between continuing

to dress up as old ladies...

-It isn't.
-...or we stop

spending time together --
-It isn't.

That's settled then.
We have no option

but to ignore the fact
we're all actually men.

-No, you don't.
-We all have to make sacrifices.

No, you don--

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

* You've been a pal
to me for so long now *

* Season after season,
you kept going somehow *

* And I know

* You'll always be on cable

[ Music stops ]
[ Laughing ]

Eh. Whatever
floats your boat.

* And when you're needing
a helping hand *

**

**

**