The Amazing World of Gumball (2011–…): Season 5, Episode 20 - The Catfish - full transcript

[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]

Corrected & Synced by Bakugan

DARWIN: Are you searching
your name online again?

No. I've learned my lesson.
Every time I close my eyes,

I can still see
those weird drawings of me.

[ SHUDDERS ]

[ SHUDDERS ]

Aah!
Who draws that stuff?

No, I'm searching
other people's names.

Like, did you know
that Rocky trained

at a mime school
for a whole year?



Hmm.

♪

[ EXHALES SHARPLY,
IMITATES SQUEAKING ]

[ EXHALES SHARPLY,
IMITATES SQUEAKING ]

I can see how those skills
would be useful to a janitor.

And did you know that Mr. Small
released an album?

What does it sound like?
[ MOUSE CLICKS ]

[ RESONANT THROATY BUZZING ]

Uh, like the cover
would suggest.

And you want to know
what's even weirder?

Grandpa Louie
has an Elmore Plus profile.

"Just a fun guy looking
to get into your friend zone."

[ BOTH GROAN ]

I just cringed all the way back
into my lower intestine.



[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

Oh! He sent us
a friend request.

Being friends online
with your grandpa

is like taking your mom
to the prom.

But he's got zero friends.

And look at that post.

"Anyone up
for a game of squash?"

No one replied.

He probably ended up
playing against the wall.

Squash...
The lonely man's tennis.

Or here, he typed,
"How to make friends online."

He then realized
it wasn't a search bar,

so he typed, "Sorry.
I don't know who wrote that."

Then he typed,
"What is the term

for someone updating your status
as a joke?"

Then he must have banged
his head on the keyboard,

because it says
"qwecvyietuvyiouhcde."

This is so sad.

[ GRUNTS ]
No, it's not.

Dude, stop hiding
your tears.

I know you feel sorry
for him, too.

- No, I don't.
- Don't repress your feelings.

I feel nothing for him.
[ WHISPERING ] Nothing.

I know you're holding back,
because...

Aah!

Okay, are you...

Aah!

So you agree
we need to help Grandpa Louie.

[ GASPS ]
You know what we should do?

Pretend to be
his friend online

by creating an entirely
fictitious persona.

Now, when you say "should,"

surely you mean
"definitely shouldn't."

Nope. I mean "have."

Isn't Grandpa Louie is too old
to have imaginary friends?

She won't be
imaginary to him.

And, besides,
that comment was age-ist.

You're never too old
to have imaginary friends.

[ WHISPERING ]
I still love you, Mr. Smiggles.

MAN: [ WHISPERING ]
I love you, too.

[ WIND HOWLING ]
Huh?

Ah, don't worry. It's just
a little white lie.

But why did you
have to make her a woman?

It's just
how I feel inside.

[ SIGHS ] Okay.
So, what's her name?

[ SNIFFS DEEPLY ]
Muriel.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

[ GASPS ]
Grandpa Louie's accepted.

And he wants to know
more about Muriel.

- Uh, what are old people into?
- [ HUMMING ] I don't know.

Um, "I like mortgages
and voting,

and... I drive cars
with my driver's license."

Oh! And putting cucumbers
on your eyes.

Yeah.
"Please tell me more about you."

Hmm!
[ CELLPHONE BEEPING ]

"Thanks for asking.

My story begins four score and
seven years ago, back when

- things were very different."
- Things were very different.

LOUIE: As a young boy,
I had no trouble making friends.

In fact, I was so popular,

I got invited
to all the birthday parties.

And when they got older,
their weddings.

Even their honeymoons...
which was a bit awkward.

I was so well-liked, they used
to call me Fluey Louie,

after the Spanish Influenza,

which was very popular
at the time.

Even animals loved me,
apart from horses.

But I never trusted horses.
[ CELLPHONE CONTINUES BEEPING ]

Their faces are too long,
and they have mohawks.

I was so popular at school,

I even became friends
with the teachers.

We had such crazy nicknames
for each other,

like "Mr. Klein" or "Sir" or
sometimes, accidentally, "Dad."

When I got older,
things got even better.

I met Jojo.

She opened my eyes
to something greater... love.

Everything about her
was magical...

Her luscious lips...

her flowing hair...

her cutie patootie.

I'm sorry, but I refuse
to picture that last image.

Goodbye, cruel world.
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

Our romance
was ravenous, insatiable,

our hearts melting with hunger

until we consumed each other
like a pair of feasting lions.

We spent every hour
of every day...

I'm gonna go bathe
in disinfectant.

Good idea.
I'm gonna steam-clean my brain.

But very soon, her loving arms
refused to let go of me,

and she kept me captive,

her tender fingers now the bars
of a gilded cage

from which I can never escape!

Anyhoo, enough about me.
What's your favorite food?

"Edible. Listen, I got to go."
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

"That's fine. Just take your
phone so we can keep messaging"?

"I'm going places
where I can't use my phone."

"Where?"
"The cinema."

"Just use silent mode"?
[ GROANS ]

"The bathroom."
"Camera-off mode"?

"What if I'm in the middle
of a hold-up or something?"

"Hands-free mode"?! Aah!
He just doesn't give up!

What are we gonna do?

I don't know. You're the one
who wanted to help him.

What?! You're the one
who came up with Muriel!

[ SIGHS ]
You're right.

- I blame Muriel!
- I mean I blame you!

We have to tell him the truth
and put an end to this

before he starts telling us

things we're too young
to know about.

"We have to meet. There's
something you should know."

"There is something
you should know, too.

I thought I needed a friend,

but the way
you patiently listened to me

made me realize something else."
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

Muriel, I think we're more
than just Elmore Plus friends"?!

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
[ LAUGHS ]

Oh, hello, pumpkin.

Uh, didn't see you there.

You look guilty.

What? [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
That's weird,

because my conscience
is so clean, spotless.

You're lying. Your eyes always
look to the right

- when you're lying.
- No, I'm not.

[ WHIRL! ]

[ CELLPHONE VIBRATES, BEEPS ]
What's that?

- Aah!
- Sorry, honey.

Was that
your favorite shirt?

[ GROANING ]
No, it was my favorite skin.

- What's this heart icon?
- What? Oh, that.

That's just a health application
telling me how unhealthy I am.

[ GROWLS ]

Uh...

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

I thought I'd found you
cheating on me.

I know. Me, too.
For a second there,

I thought you were looking
at all my messages to Muriel.

Muriel?!
Who's Muriel?!

"I want to be more
than just Elmore Plus friends"?!

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
"Let's meet in real life"?

"2:00 p.m. at the mall"?

Wait. I can explain.

[ GROWLS ]

Are you crazy? Why do you want
to meet with him?

Because we have to come clean.
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

"Muriel, if you happen to see
a 200-pound raging rodent

in a dress
running towards you

while screaming
and wielding a sledgehammer,

please stay out of her way.

I know that's good advice
generally,

but in this
specific instance,

it's most likely
my wife coming after you."

Wait. It's fine.

Muriel doesn't exist.
You made her up.

Where did you get
her profile picture from?

Meh, just randomly online.
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

Okay, there's one
funny piece of news

and another not-so-funny
piece of news.

- Funny one first, please.
- When I search for her photo,

all the related pictures
are of guinea fowl.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]
And the not-so-funny news

is that the picture
comes from the mall's website.

- [ LAUGHS ]
- She works there.

- [ GASPS ]
- Jojo, please!

- I never meant to hurt you.
- Of course you didn't.

Now, would you mind
closing your window, dear?

Sure. Why?

[ TIRES SQUEALING ]

- [ GROANS ]
- So you can feel on the outside

how I feel on the inside!

So, now we're even?

Yes, we are.
But I'm not even with Muriel!

[ ENGINE REVS ]

[ BOTH PANTING ]
[ TIRES SQUEALING ]

[ BOTH GASP ]

Muriel!

- Yes, dear?
- Oh, right. Uh, so, basically,

we made a fake profile online
to be friends with our grandpa

because we felt sorry for him,
and her made-up name is Muriel,

but I forgot that wasn't
her real name, which is funny,

because when I called her,
you answered.

Now you should probably
jump out of the way,

because our grandma is about
to run you over with her car.

- What?
- Mm.

Maybe I should have just said,
"Watch out!"

There she is.

Grandma, stop!

Aah!

[ SCREAMS ]

[ PANTING ]

Where is she?

[ GROWLS ]

We need to stop Granny Jojo!

They're my groceries!
Give it back!

[ GASPS ]
Muriel!

- Yes?
- Uh, not you!

[ GROANS ]

There she is!

Ooh! My hip replacement.

[ PANTING ]

[ ROARS ]

You're not getting away from me!

Stop meddling!
This is none of your business!

Granny Jojo,
there's been a mistake!

- Muriel...
- Oh, honey, are you okay?

Eh, a rest
will do you good.

[ GROWLS ]

[ BREATHING DEEPLY ]

G-Granny Jojo,
you don't get it!

I may not,
but she certainly will!

What the...

[ BIRD COOS ]
Ahh!

That's the exact opposite of the
message I was trying to send!

You don't understand.
Muriel doesn't exist.

- We made her up.
- No-o-o-o-o!

- Eh?
- ...problem then.

- Well, then, who's that?
- We just used her photo.

We made her up so Grandpa Louie
could have a friend online.

What?! Do you know
what a cat and a fish

pretending to be someone else
online is called?

Catfishing?

No! It's called...

Wait. Actually, yes,
that is what it's called.

But if we lied
to make you happier,

is that really so wrong?

It is
literally illegal.

None of this
would have happened

if Granny Jojo
wasn't so controlling.

What are you
talking about?

Well, honey,
you must admit...

[ SPITS ]

Oh, sorry. I thought you were
smiling at someone else.

Please scan your items.

Who do you think
you're talking to?!

He's my boyfriend!
Mine!

[ DISTORTED ] Please place
your item in the bagging...

I'll stick my foot
in your bagging area!

Thank you
for your advice, Doc.

I'll make sure
to eat more fiber next time.

You're even jealous
of the X's in my X-rays.

Then why did you want to be more
than just friends with Muriel?

I meant more than
just Elmore Plus friends...

A friend in real life.
You must admit

you don't really let me see
my other friends anymore.

It's just
I love you so much, Louie.

I didn't realize
I was stifling you.

I'm sorry. Come here.

- Mm.
- Ahh.

Aww.
So, does this mean

Grandpa Louie's
allowed to have friends?

Maybe just one.

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

Ah, he's finally got
an online friend.

Really? Who is it?

[ MOUSE CLICKS ]

[ BOTH GROAN ]

Corrected & Synced by Bakugan