The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 17 - Fountain of Youth - full transcript
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Evening, folks.
We're looking for
a friend of ours--
Professor
Ogden Coles.
Uh, older man,
white hair,
scholarly type.
Oh, forget it, Brisco.
They ain't gonna
tell us nothin'.
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
Huh?
Uh...
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
Where'd you learn that?
Harvard.
Chinese 101.
Well, they ain't
answerin' you.
You sure it wasn't
Japanese 101?
Might've been.
Aah!
Uhh!
Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size?
Uh-oh.
Let's go!
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Go!
Is it me,
or was that the
best-looking gang
you've ever seen?
Brisco, this business is
gettin' too darn glamorous.
[GROANS]
You alright?
Yes, I think so.
It's Coles' tent,
alright, Brisco,
but the Professor ain't
nowhere to be seen.
Brisco.
Are you
Brisco County Jr.?
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, thank God
you're here!
[MEN SPEAKING CHINESE]
I don't know
what I would've done
if you hadn't gotten here
when you did.
Uh, well, you'll excuse
me, but who are you?
Lillian Coles.
The professor's
daughter?
Yes. He didn't tell you?
Uh, no.
Well, he told me
about you,
about the time he saved
your life, for instance.
Brought him back
from the dead
is more like it.
This is my partner,
Lord Bowler.
Ma'am.
I'm sure
the orb helped.
You know
about the orb?
Don't everybody?
I know the orb is
a one-of-a-kind object.
I know in the right hands,
it can be very powerful.
In the wrong,
very dangerous.
And I know those men
were here to steal it.
My father sent me
a telegram.
He said he was in danger.
That I should come quickly.
Yeah. We got
a similar telegram.
What you wanna bet
that gang's working
for John Bly?
My father would die
before he gave John Bly
the orb, Mr. County.
You have to help me
find him
before John Bly does,
before it's too late.
Don't you worry.
We'll find him.
I'll just go outside
and check to see if I can
pick up a trail.
What is that?
Medicine.
Medicine? For what?
Arthritis.
Really?
A woman your age?
It's an unusual
condition.
It's a
special medication.
BOWLER: Brisco!
Picked up
some wagon tracks
on the north side
of the camp.
Somebody went through
a lot of trouble
to cover 'em up.
We better get going.
How do you know
those tracks belong
to my father?
I know.
But they could belong
to anybody.
With all due respect,
Ma'am, I saw
the professor's wagon
in Poker Flats
a few months ago.
The right rear wheel
was slightly shaved
on the outside
due to
a faulty brake shoe.
The left front
had a broken spoke
just outside
the mortise hole.
It was his wagon,
alright.
You can tell all that
just by looking
at the tracks?
Don't every picture
tell a story?
I'm going with you.
Uh-uh.
No, you're not.
See,
we work alone.
That is,
together...
a-alone.
Mr. County, please.
Well, she'll be
safer with us.
I'll get my horse.
Hyah!
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
Howdy.
Hello.
You seem lost.
Actually, I am.
I'm looking for
777 1/2 Carney Street,
but there doesn't seem
to be a half.
There is,
but not everyone
can see it.
You?
Come.
There is not
much time.
Who are you?
Li Pao.
Why did you
send for me?
Brisco County Jr. said
that if I ever needed help
and he was not around,
to contact you.
He did?
Well, in that case,
what can I do for you,
Mr. Pao?
Not Mr. Pao.
Not Li. Not Pao.
Not Mr. Li Pao.
Li Pao.
Right.
I was Brisco's
father's friend.
Long ago, I carved
the ivory handle
for his gun.
And?
Certain powers,
powers beyond
the imagination,
is about to converge.
It all has to do
with the orb
and Brisco County Jr.'s
destiny with it.
His destiny?
And yours.
Excuse me?
You, too, have a destiny
with the orb.
Because
without your help,
history, as it is
about to become,
will never be.
Sorry. I pass.
Take this.
What?
The key.
To what?
Stopping John Bly.
No. Look, I've never
been very good with
mechanical objects.
Shh.
John Bly
is closer than ever
to usurping
the power of the orb.
You must take this key
and deliver it immediately
to Brisco.
That's impossible.
He's out of town.
He went
to Barton Falls.
Let the key
be your guide.
Like the fortune cookie
that is often stale
and leaves a bad taste
in your mouth,
it is the message inside
that counts.
Message?
Message?
I don't understand.
You will
all in good time.
Now hurry.
Brisco's life
depends on it.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Alright,
now give us five minutes.
If everything's alright,
we'll come back for you.
MAN: It worked
perfectly.
They left
her behind.
Well, well, well.
Hello, Professor.
They led us
right to him.
Now we've got to
go down and get him.
Hey, Maxfield.
What?
You know, I don't get it.
I mean, what's the deal
with this orb thing
anyway, huh?
What do you care?
You're getting paid
to do a job.
Just do it.
Oh, I've been
meaning to tell you,
those pockets
don't work.
What do you mean?
Well, the cut,
it's all wrong.
What's wrong
with them?
Today, gentlemen.
Brisco!
Professor.
Boy, am I glad
to see you.
You alone?
Hopefully.
I got your telegram.
I came as soon as I could.
Telegram?
What--what telegram?
You didn't send me
a telegram?
No, but you don't know
how fortuitous it is
that you came.
Why is that?
It's time for you
to take possession
of the orb.
The orb is here?
Heavens, no.
Some time ago, I hid
it in a safe place.
But since
our last meeting,
John Bly
has been pursuing me
relentlessly.
Wait a minute. Professor,
did you send a telegram
to your daughter?
My daughter?
Yeah, Lillian.
She's with us.
Lillian.
Unh!
Unh!
Let's go.
Come on.
Remind me, Brisco,
the next time we see
them pretty boys,
I owe 'em one.
Yeah. Next time.
[WHISTLES]
Hey! Comet!
Ohh! Please
don't shout.
My head is
killing me.
How could we be
so stupid, Bowler?
We led those guys
right to him.
Yeah, now they got
the professor
and his daughter.
Yeah, well, we got
to get to 'em, Bowler,
before Bly does.
[OWL HOOTS]
Oh.
Hello.
Uh, I wasn't
stealing anything.
Um, maybe
you can help me.
Uh, do any of you
speak English?
No.
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
What?
Was it something
I said? What?
Aah! Oh! Oh!
What in heaven's name?
Oh!
"Let the key
be your guide."
Whoa.
Get down.
Last chance, Professor.
Where's the orb?
I'll never tell you.
You're wasting
your time.
Take him in the storeroom
and tie 'em up.
Where are you going?
Find a bathhouse.
I want to be nice
and fresh
for the next time I see
the Professor's daughter.
Come on.
Come on.
Let's go.
Enjoy your stay.
[SNIFFLES]
There, there.
There's no need
for that.
I'm sorry.
Nothing
to apologize for.
Yes, there is.
I betrayed you.
You were in pain.
You only did
what anyone else
would have done.
I don't blame you.
Then why did you leave?
Because I overstepped
my guardianship
of the orb
when I used it to make
the medicine.
I couldn't allow that
to happen again.
But if I don't get
my medicine--
It can never
happen again.
I wish things
were different.
Things will never be
like they were
again, Lillian.
Not now.
Mr. Bly.
Relax, boys.
God, he looks
great in black.
I got it.
You're free?
Listen to me,
Lillian.
Find Brisco.
He's the only
person now
who can keep the orb
out of Bly's hands.
No, no! Forget about me.
It's too late. Go, go, go!
No! If I leave you,
Bly will kill you.
Not until I tell him
where the orb is.
By then, with luck,
Brisco will already
have it.
Where is it?
Devil's cavern.
Hello, Professor,
ma'am.
So nice
to see you again.
Run, Lillian!
Run! Run!
Why should she run?
Your timing
is impeccable, Bly.
Don't tell me
you're working with Bly?
I had to.
I needed my medicine.
Ah! And so you shall
have it, my dear,
but first--
where's the orb?
Devil's cavern.
You have no idea
what you've just
done, Lillian,
no idea.
Ah, family harmony--
it warms the cockles
of my heart
just to hear it.
My, my,
what pretty saddles.
You got to be
real into fashion
to own something
like that.
Yeah.
And to look real good,
you have to work at it.
Ah, I don't know
about you, Maxfield.
That trail is really
hard on my skin.
Been using the aloe
liniment I gave you?
Not regularly.
I told you, Lars--
every night before
you go to bed
and every morning
when you get up.
The stuff works wonders.
Hey, if we have time,
I'd like to get Rolfed
before we leave town.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
Tell you what
I'd like to do--
I'd like
to Rolf Lillian.
Hey, Berkey hears you,
talking like that,
he'll kill you.
Yeah?
Let him try it.
[PUNCHING AND YELLING]
Ewww.
Oh, I hope this story
don't find its way
into no dime novel.
They won't hear it
from me, Bowler.
Let's go.
Hey!
Where's Coles
and Lillian?
Drop dead.
You talking to us?
We're the only
ones here.
[SPUTTERING]
Alright, Bowler.
Come on, let's
not overdo it.
Killjoy.
Alright,
alright.
They're
in the storeroom.
Around the corner,
off the alley.
Not in the face!
Not in the face!
Ohh.
Ohh.
You know, there is
such a thing as
being too pretty.
Now that ought to
give him some character.
What did you
do that for?
Slight change in plan.
What are you
talking about?
He doesn't need you
anymore, Lillian,
now that he knows
where the orb is.
You're wrong.
Tell him
that's not true.
But it is, Lillian.
You see, I knew that he
would never tell me
where the orb is,
but, you, well...
she's always been
your Achilles heel,
hasn't she, professor?
We had a deal, Bly.
I need that orb.
I need my medicine.
Oh, poor Lillian.
Anything
for her medicine.
Aah.
Aah.
Easy, Professor.
All of that for this.
Would you look at
what you've done
to her, Professor?
[COCKS GUN]
Now, will you
take me to the orb?
Or should I kill her?
Don't.
I guess you're going
to cooperate.
Let's ride.
What happened?
It's Bly.
He took my father.
Better find a doctor,
Bowler.
They won't need one.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
You busted my nose,
Brisco.
At least
let the girl go.
I don't think so.
Oh, Berkey,
look what they did
to your beautiful face.
Huh?
That's right, fellas.
You've been had.
They don't work
for Bly?
No. They work for me.
Now find Bly.
He betrayed us.
We'll catch up.
What about them?
You heard the boss. Go.
I'll take care of them.
I hope you're
proud of yourself--
double-crossing
your daddy like that.
My daddy cut me off.
I needed the orb.
He refused
to give it to me.
So you made a deal
with Bly.
I thought we'd be doing
each other a favor.
So I turned to you,
dime novel heroes,
so predictable,
steadfast, and true.
I sent the telegram
knowing if anyone could
track my father,
you could.
Ha. I played you like
an ocarina, County.
Yeah, and Bly played
you like a bassoon.
He won't have
the chance again.
You go after him,
he'll kill you.
I'll take my chances.
You, however,
have none left.
Thanks
for all your help,
but I won't be
needing you any longer.
Berkey.
[LOCK CLICKS]
This ain't the way
I wanted to spend
my afternoon.
Don't worry, Bowler.
Your afternoon's
almost over.
Brisco, this place is
gonna blow sky high.
[FURNACE RATTLING]
Bowler, we need
to break this pipe.
Fine. I'm open
to suggestions.
We got to
pull against it
back and forth, okay?
I'll go first. Ow!
Your turn.
Ow!
Yes!
Ow!
Ow!
Keep going.
Uhh!
Uhh!
Uh!
Uh!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Ah! Ooh!
Ohh! Ah!
[HORSES NEIGHING]
Now I'm steamed.
Ditto.
Come on, boy.
Can you feel it,
Professor?
Feel what?
Why, the orb.
We're getting closer.
Whoa.
Please don't disappoint me
by doing something
stupid, Professor.
Bly, you've already won.
You know where
the orb is hidden.
I can't stop you.
Let me go back to be
with Lillian. Please.
A father's love
for his daughter--
how touching.
Sorry,
but I need your help
in harnessing
the power of the orb.
Why?
You know why.
Because you're good,
and I'm, uh...evil.
We both know how much
it hates evil, don't we?
I'm curious, Bly.
What are you
going to do
when you
finally get the orb?
I'm going home,
Professor.
Try it,
and you're dead.
Now, just
give us Coles,
and we won't have
any problems, okay?
Okay.
That's a great hat.
Who makes it?
What the hell's the
matter with you?
Well, I like his hat.
I think it'd
look good on me.
You're so vain.
Don't let him
drink that!
That's
Lillian's medicine.
Not anymore.
Ah!
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh!
Pretty faces.
Weak minds.
Well, shall we
continue, Professor?
Whoa.
Lars, Maxfield.
Bly.
Are they dead?
No, thank God.
Then let's go.
We've got to keep riding.
We can't just
leave them here.
We'll come back
for them.
No. First Bruno
and Lance. Now this?
Bly's too powerful.
Berkey,
I am ordering you to...
what?
I never noticed
those wrinkles before.
It's just windburn.
Your hair.
There's gray in it.
It's from the pain.
We have to catch my father
so that he can make
my medicine.
But--
Berkey, please.
We have to hurry.
It's the only way
that we can be together.
Let's ride.
Whoa.
[COMET WHINNIES]
What's the matter
with Comet?
He thinks
we're being followed.
Now, how in
the world can he--
He's right.
One rider,
full gallop,
about
1/2 mile back.
[WHINNIES]
Now what?
He wants an apology.
Oh, I'm sorry.
[WHINNIES]
Bowler, he knows
the difference.
Alright,
alright.
I'm sorry, Comet.
Now what are we
gonna do about it?
Pull.
Whoa!
[GROANING]
Socrates?
Poole.
Are you alright?
I don't know
what on earth
attracts you people
to this line of work.
He's alright.
Socrates, what are you
doing out here?
How'd you find us?
I followed
the glowing key.
Come again.
Li Pao sent me to bring
this to you, Brisco.
Li Pao?
My father's friend?
That's right.
Li Pao.
He said that key
unlocks a message
that'll help you
stop Bly.
What do you mean
glowing, Soc?
Oh, it only glows when it
wants to tell you something.
Ugh.
Hey, I'm just
the messenger.
All I know is that
my destiny with the orb
is somehow tied
to that key.
Well, am I the only one
who ain't got a destiny
with this stupid
orb thing?
What is this key
supposed to unlock?
Unfortunately, I haven't
the slightest idea.
At least
we know we're on
the right track.
How do you
know that, Bowler?
A wild guess.
Ooh.
Ah, yes.
Devil's cavern.
Congratulations,
Professor.
What a perfectly
sadistic place
to have hidden
the orb.
Not a person
in their right mind
would venture
into that lair.
Of course,
you used the orb
to help you avoid
the pitfalls, didn't you?
So, after you,
Professor.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
Hold it, Bly.
[COCKS GUN]
Bly! Don't!
Don't worry, Lillian.
I got you.
I feel weak.
Berkey, hold me.
What happened?
You're old.
You're hideous.
No, I'm not.
My God. This is the result
of the medicine wearing off.
I'm afraid so.
This is too weird.
I'm getting
out of here.
No, Berkey,
don't leave me.
I'll be pretty
again.
I promise.
Berkey!
Alright.
Let him go. Let him go.
Lead me to the orb,
and show me how
to use it, Professor.
You still might be able
to save her.
Ogden, don't
listen to him.
But he's right,
Lillian.
No. I can't cheat
Mother Nature
forever.
The orb gave me
more time
than I ought
to have had,
and I'm grateful
for that time.
I'm grateful
for you.
I can't let you die.
Tick tock, Professor.
Tick tock.
Ogden.
Ogden.
Forgive me.
Okay, I'll help you
with the orb,
but you have
to promise me
you'll let me use it
to make her medicine.
You have my word,
Professor.
I'll be back.
I'll be back. Okay?
I'll be back.
Oh, my God.
Brisco.
Who are you?
Don't you
recognize me?
I'm Lillian.
Professor Cole's
daughter?
No.
I'm his mother.
Ogden gave me water
which had been touched
by an orb rod...
[WHEEZING]
to help me
with my arthritis,
but it also gave me
what I wanted most--
[WHEEZING]
To be young again...
[WHEEZING]
Gloriously young.
Whoa.
It's the Fountain
of Youth.
That's how I was able
to surround myself
with a gang
of beautiful men.
Where's your son,
Lillian?
Bly took him in there.
[WOLF HOWLS]
That's devil's cavern.
[SOCRATES]
Is that bad?
It ain't good.
Brisco...
please save my son.
Poor woman.
Well, poor us if we
don't stop Bly
before
he gets that orb.
Let's go.
This darn lantern
keeps going out.
[SCREECHING]
What was that?
Bats.
Bats?
Not vampire bats,
you...
Better safe
than sorry.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh what?
Dead end.
What? What do you mean?
Are you sure?
I'm sure.
We're lost, Brisco.
This is why I didn't
want to come in here
in the first place.
We can't be lost.
You two are the best
trackers in the world.
Not in here, Poole.
Everything is turned
around and upside-down.
Let's backtrack.
We'll be back.
I don't remember
passing this
on our way in.
That's 'cause
we didn't.
It's rocky ground.
No way to tell which way
Bly and Coles went.
That's it.
It's over.
We dead.
Brisco, try
the glowing key.
Well, I'll be.
Brisco, your gun--
it's glowing, too.
Brisco,
do you have any idea
why in the heck
it's doing that?
Not a clue.
The message
in the fortune cookie.
I think I just
figured it out.
Well, what you waiting for,
Poole? Spit it out.
The hex key!
It fits the ivory handle
of your gun, Brisco.
How do you know that?
Because my destiny
was to make sure you
got your father's gun,
and now
it's to make sure
you find the message
inside it.
A brass bullet?
It looks more gold
than brass.
Actually...
it looks more like
the same alloy
as the orb.
You mean...
I've had this thing
with me all along,
and I never knew it?
Okay.
The orb is hidden
over there
behind the waterfall.
Excellent, Professor,
and now if you would
just be so kind
as to retrieve it
for me.
How do I know
you won't double-cross me
like you did Lillian?
Life is full of risk,
Professor.
Just remember, Bly--
No deal unless I get
to make the medicine.
Oh, your needs
are so trivial
in comparison.
Go get the orb.
What choice do you
really have at this
point, anyway?
Now where are we?
Box Canyon.
Accessible
only through the cave.
Well, at least
we're finally out.
Yeah. Out of the frying
pan and into the fire.
[WHOOSH]
What was that?
I don't know,
but it sounds hungry.
Maybe we'd better
turn around and go back.
No, Bly's here.
I can feel him.
This way.
The combination,
Professor.
The, uh,
correct combination,
if you don't mind.
I can feel its power.
It's...
it's magnificent!
Hello, Bly.
Oh, I do enjoy you,
County.
You are such
a worthy opponent.
Here to keep me
from the orb, are you?
As a matter of fact,
I am.
Lillian's medicine!
I'm sorry, Professor.
She's gone.
Too late!
I have total power now,
and I'm taking it
home with me.
And where's that?
In the future.
612 years
into the future,
to be exact.
612?
I'm from the year 2506,
and I am one of the few
of my people
to know of the existence
and the power of the orb.
I used a time machine
to bring me here,
because the year 1894
was the last time
that the orbs were
in existence together.
But two of the orbs
are gone.
But I only need one,
and with it
I will return home
and use its power
to rule the world!
You always did have
big dreams, Bly.
Sorry I'm going to have
to ruin them for you.
Oh, do you think that
I would allow some cretin
from an antediluvian world
to stop me?
I am invincible, County.
Bullets cannot harm me!
You sure?
Not even this one?
Where did you get that?
What do you care?
You're invincible.
You wouldn't dare!
Watch me.
Oh!
Aah!
What happened
to him?
Bly didn't take the orb.
The orb took Bly.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, it's all yours
now, Brisco.
Wait a minute.
What am I supposed
to do with it?
You must keep it safe
until it's time.
Time for what?
Your final encounter
with Bly.
What do you mean?
I just had my final
encounter with Bly.
I mean,
he's in this thing.
Isn't he?
Oh, Bly's in
the orb, alright,
but he's not
been dispatched.
Your destiny's
not yet fulfilled.
Oh, brother.
What's left?
Your destiny
is to learn more
about the orb
than I've been
able to.
That's why you've
got to protect it.
Keep the orb safe.
Lucky me.
Good-bye, my boy.
Until our paths
cross again.
So long, Professor.
What was all that about?
Well, he told me
I've got
to keep this orb
someplace safe.
How about inside
a volcano?
How about inside
your house?
Oh, no. No way.
What about
your place, Soc?
Make a nice
end table.
Thanks, but my destiny's
been fulfilled
with that thing.
I'd like to keep it
that way.
Brisco, can we just
be cowboys from now on?
Sure thing, partner.
Let's ride.
Ow.
Hyup!
[CLEARS THROAT]
Evening, folks.
We're looking for
a friend of ours--
Professor
Ogden Coles.
Uh, older man,
white hair,
scholarly type.
Oh, forget it, Brisco.
They ain't gonna
tell us nothin'.
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
Huh?
Uh...
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
Where'd you learn that?
Harvard.
Chinese 101.
Well, they ain't
answerin' you.
You sure it wasn't
Japanese 101?
Might've been.
Aah!
Uhh!
Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size?
Uh-oh.
Let's go!
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Go!
Is it me,
or was that the
best-looking gang
you've ever seen?
Brisco, this business is
gettin' too darn glamorous.
[GROANS]
You alright?
Yes, I think so.
It's Coles' tent,
alright, Brisco,
but the Professor ain't
nowhere to be seen.
Brisco.
Are you
Brisco County Jr.?
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, thank God
you're here!
[MEN SPEAKING CHINESE]
I don't know
what I would've done
if you hadn't gotten here
when you did.
Uh, well, you'll excuse
me, but who are you?
Lillian Coles.
The professor's
daughter?
Yes. He didn't tell you?
Uh, no.
Well, he told me
about you,
about the time he saved
your life, for instance.
Brought him back
from the dead
is more like it.
This is my partner,
Lord Bowler.
Ma'am.
I'm sure
the orb helped.
You know
about the orb?
Don't everybody?
I know the orb is
a one-of-a-kind object.
I know in the right hands,
it can be very powerful.
In the wrong,
very dangerous.
And I know those men
were here to steal it.
My father sent me
a telegram.
He said he was in danger.
That I should come quickly.
Yeah. We got
a similar telegram.
What you wanna bet
that gang's working
for John Bly?
My father would die
before he gave John Bly
the orb, Mr. County.
You have to help me
find him
before John Bly does,
before it's too late.
Don't you worry.
We'll find him.
I'll just go outside
and check to see if I can
pick up a trail.
What is that?
Medicine.
Medicine? For what?
Arthritis.
Really?
A woman your age?
It's an unusual
condition.
It's a
special medication.
BOWLER: Brisco!
Picked up
some wagon tracks
on the north side
of the camp.
Somebody went through
a lot of trouble
to cover 'em up.
We better get going.
How do you know
those tracks belong
to my father?
I know.
But they could belong
to anybody.
With all due respect,
Ma'am, I saw
the professor's wagon
in Poker Flats
a few months ago.
The right rear wheel
was slightly shaved
on the outside
due to
a faulty brake shoe.
The left front
had a broken spoke
just outside
the mortise hole.
It was his wagon,
alright.
You can tell all that
just by looking
at the tracks?
Don't every picture
tell a story?
I'm going with you.
Uh-uh.
No, you're not.
See,
we work alone.
That is,
together...
a-alone.
Mr. County, please.
Well, she'll be
safer with us.
I'll get my horse.
Hyah!
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
Howdy.
Hello.
You seem lost.
Actually, I am.
I'm looking for
777 1/2 Carney Street,
but there doesn't seem
to be a half.
There is,
but not everyone
can see it.
You?
Come.
There is not
much time.
Who are you?
Li Pao.
Why did you
send for me?
Brisco County Jr. said
that if I ever needed help
and he was not around,
to contact you.
He did?
Well, in that case,
what can I do for you,
Mr. Pao?
Not Mr. Pao.
Not Li. Not Pao.
Not Mr. Li Pao.
Li Pao.
Right.
I was Brisco's
father's friend.
Long ago, I carved
the ivory handle
for his gun.
And?
Certain powers,
powers beyond
the imagination,
is about to converge.
It all has to do
with the orb
and Brisco County Jr.'s
destiny with it.
His destiny?
And yours.
Excuse me?
You, too, have a destiny
with the orb.
Because
without your help,
history, as it is
about to become,
will never be.
Sorry. I pass.
Take this.
What?
The key.
To what?
Stopping John Bly.
No. Look, I've never
been very good with
mechanical objects.
Shh.
John Bly
is closer than ever
to usurping
the power of the orb.
You must take this key
and deliver it immediately
to Brisco.
That's impossible.
He's out of town.
He went
to Barton Falls.
Let the key
be your guide.
Like the fortune cookie
that is often stale
and leaves a bad taste
in your mouth,
it is the message inside
that counts.
Message?
Message?
I don't understand.
You will
all in good time.
Now hurry.
Brisco's life
depends on it.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Alright,
now give us five minutes.
If everything's alright,
we'll come back for you.
MAN: It worked
perfectly.
They left
her behind.
Well, well, well.
Hello, Professor.
They led us
right to him.
Now we've got to
go down and get him.
Hey, Maxfield.
What?
You know, I don't get it.
I mean, what's the deal
with this orb thing
anyway, huh?
What do you care?
You're getting paid
to do a job.
Just do it.
Oh, I've been
meaning to tell you,
those pockets
don't work.
What do you mean?
Well, the cut,
it's all wrong.
What's wrong
with them?
Today, gentlemen.
Brisco!
Professor.
Boy, am I glad
to see you.
You alone?
Hopefully.
I got your telegram.
I came as soon as I could.
Telegram?
What--what telegram?
You didn't send me
a telegram?
No, but you don't know
how fortuitous it is
that you came.
Why is that?
It's time for you
to take possession
of the orb.
The orb is here?
Heavens, no.
Some time ago, I hid
it in a safe place.
But since
our last meeting,
John Bly
has been pursuing me
relentlessly.
Wait a minute. Professor,
did you send a telegram
to your daughter?
My daughter?
Yeah, Lillian.
She's with us.
Lillian.
Unh!
Unh!
Let's go.
Come on.
Remind me, Brisco,
the next time we see
them pretty boys,
I owe 'em one.
Yeah. Next time.
[WHISTLES]
Hey! Comet!
Ohh! Please
don't shout.
My head is
killing me.
How could we be
so stupid, Bowler?
We led those guys
right to him.
Yeah, now they got
the professor
and his daughter.
Yeah, well, we got
to get to 'em, Bowler,
before Bly does.
[OWL HOOTS]
Oh.
Hello.
Uh, I wasn't
stealing anything.
Um, maybe
you can help me.
Uh, do any of you
speak English?
No.
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
What?
Was it something
I said? What?
Aah! Oh! Oh!
What in heaven's name?
Oh!
"Let the key
be your guide."
Whoa.
Get down.
Last chance, Professor.
Where's the orb?
I'll never tell you.
You're wasting
your time.
Take him in the storeroom
and tie 'em up.
Where are you going?
Find a bathhouse.
I want to be nice
and fresh
for the next time I see
the Professor's daughter.
Come on.
Come on.
Let's go.
Enjoy your stay.
[SNIFFLES]
There, there.
There's no need
for that.
I'm sorry.
Nothing
to apologize for.
Yes, there is.
I betrayed you.
You were in pain.
You only did
what anyone else
would have done.
I don't blame you.
Then why did you leave?
Because I overstepped
my guardianship
of the orb
when I used it to make
the medicine.
I couldn't allow that
to happen again.
But if I don't get
my medicine--
It can never
happen again.
I wish things
were different.
Things will never be
like they were
again, Lillian.
Not now.
Mr. Bly.
Relax, boys.
God, he looks
great in black.
I got it.
You're free?
Listen to me,
Lillian.
Find Brisco.
He's the only
person now
who can keep the orb
out of Bly's hands.
No, no! Forget about me.
It's too late. Go, go, go!
No! If I leave you,
Bly will kill you.
Not until I tell him
where the orb is.
By then, with luck,
Brisco will already
have it.
Where is it?
Devil's cavern.
Hello, Professor,
ma'am.
So nice
to see you again.
Run, Lillian!
Run! Run!
Why should she run?
Your timing
is impeccable, Bly.
Don't tell me
you're working with Bly?
I had to.
I needed my medicine.
Ah! And so you shall
have it, my dear,
but first--
where's the orb?
Devil's cavern.
You have no idea
what you've just
done, Lillian,
no idea.
Ah, family harmony--
it warms the cockles
of my heart
just to hear it.
My, my,
what pretty saddles.
You got to be
real into fashion
to own something
like that.
Yeah.
And to look real good,
you have to work at it.
Ah, I don't know
about you, Maxfield.
That trail is really
hard on my skin.
Been using the aloe
liniment I gave you?
Not regularly.
I told you, Lars--
every night before
you go to bed
and every morning
when you get up.
The stuff works wonders.
Hey, if we have time,
I'd like to get Rolfed
before we leave town.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
Tell you what
I'd like to do--
I'd like
to Rolf Lillian.
Hey, Berkey hears you,
talking like that,
he'll kill you.
Yeah?
Let him try it.
[PUNCHING AND YELLING]
Ewww.
Oh, I hope this story
don't find its way
into no dime novel.
They won't hear it
from me, Bowler.
Let's go.
Hey!
Where's Coles
and Lillian?
Drop dead.
You talking to us?
We're the only
ones here.
[SPUTTERING]
Alright, Bowler.
Come on, let's
not overdo it.
Killjoy.
Alright,
alright.
They're
in the storeroom.
Around the corner,
off the alley.
Not in the face!
Not in the face!
Ohh.
Ohh.
You know, there is
such a thing as
being too pretty.
Now that ought to
give him some character.
What did you
do that for?
Slight change in plan.
What are you
talking about?
He doesn't need you
anymore, Lillian,
now that he knows
where the orb is.
You're wrong.
Tell him
that's not true.
But it is, Lillian.
You see, I knew that he
would never tell me
where the orb is,
but, you, well...
she's always been
your Achilles heel,
hasn't she, professor?
We had a deal, Bly.
I need that orb.
I need my medicine.
Oh, poor Lillian.
Anything
for her medicine.
Aah.
Aah.
Easy, Professor.
All of that for this.
Would you look at
what you've done
to her, Professor?
[COCKS GUN]
Now, will you
take me to the orb?
Or should I kill her?
Don't.
I guess you're going
to cooperate.
Let's ride.
What happened?
It's Bly.
He took my father.
Better find a doctor,
Bowler.
They won't need one.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
You busted my nose,
Brisco.
At least
let the girl go.
I don't think so.
Oh, Berkey,
look what they did
to your beautiful face.
Huh?
That's right, fellas.
You've been had.
They don't work
for Bly?
No. They work for me.
Now find Bly.
He betrayed us.
We'll catch up.
What about them?
You heard the boss. Go.
I'll take care of them.
I hope you're
proud of yourself--
double-crossing
your daddy like that.
My daddy cut me off.
I needed the orb.
He refused
to give it to me.
So you made a deal
with Bly.
I thought we'd be doing
each other a favor.
So I turned to you,
dime novel heroes,
so predictable,
steadfast, and true.
I sent the telegram
knowing if anyone could
track my father,
you could.
Ha. I played you like
an ocarina, County.
Yeah, and Bly played
you like a bassoon.
He won't have
the chance again.
You go after him,
he'll kill you.
I'll take my chances.
You, however,
have none left.
Thanks
for all your help,
but I won't be
needing you any longer.
Berkey.
[LOCK CLICKS]
This ain't the way
I wanted to spend
my afternoon.
Don't worry, Bowler.
Your afternoon's
almost over.
Brisco, this place is
gonna blow sky high.
[FURNACE RATTLING]
Bowler, we need
to break this pipe.
Fine. I'm open
to suggestions.
We got to
pull against it
back and forth, okay?
I'll go first. Ow!
Your turn.
Ow!
Yes!
Ow!
Ow!
Keep going.
Uhh!
Uhh!
Uh!
Uh!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Ah! Ooh!
Ohh! Ah!
[HORSES NEIGHING]
Now I'm steamed.
Ditto.
Come on, boy.
Can you feel it,
Professor?
Feel what?
Why, the orb.
We're getting closer.
Whoa.
Please don't disappoint me
by doing something
stupid, Professor.
Bly, you've already won.
You know where
the orb is hidden.
I can't stop you.
Let me go back to be
with Lillian. Please.
A father's love
for his daughter--
how touching.
Sorry,
but I need your help
in harnessing
the power of the orb.
Why?
You know why.
Because you're good,
and I'm, uh...evil.
We both know how much
it hates evil, don't we?
I'm curious, Bly.
What are you
going to do
when you
finally get the orb?
I'm going home,
Professor.
Try it,
and you're dead.
Now, just
give us Coles,
and we won't have
any problems, okay?
Okay.
That's a great hat.
Who makes it?
What the hell's the
matter with you?
Well, I like his hat.
I think it'd
look good on me.
You're so vain.
Don't let him
drink that!
That's
Lillian's medicine.
Not anymore.
Ah!
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh!
Pretty faces.
Weak minds.
Well, shall we
continue, Professor?
Whoa.
Lars, Maxfield.
Bly.
Are they dead?
No, thank God.
Then let's go.
We've got to keep riding.
We can't just
leave them here.
We'll come back
for them.
No. First Bruno
and Lance. Now this?
Bly's too powerful.
Berkey,
I am ordering you to...
what?
I never noticed
those wrinkles before.
It's just windburn.
Your hair.
There's gray in it.
It's from the pain.
We have to catch my father
so that he can make
my medicine.
But--
Berkey, please.
We have to hurry.
It's the only way
that we can be together.
Let's ride.
Whoa.
[COMET WHINNIES]
What's the matter
with Comet?
He thinks
we're being followed.
Now, how in
the world can he--
He's right.
One rider,
full gallop,
about
1/2 mile back.
[WHINNIES]
Now what?
He wants an apology.
Oh, I'm sorry.
[WHINNIES]
Bowler, he knows
the difference.
Alright,
alright.
I'm sorry, Comet.
Now what are we
gonna do about it?
Pull.
Whoa!
[GROANING]
Socrates?
Poole.
Are you alright?
I don't know
what on earth
attracts you people
to this line of work.
He's alright.
Socrates, what are you
doing out here?
How'd you find us?
I followed
the glowing key.
Come again.
Li Pao sent me to bring
this to you, Brisco.
Li Pao?
My father's friend?
That's right.
Li Pao.
He said that key
unlocks a message
that'll help you
stop Bly.
What do you mean
glowing, Soc?
Oh, it only glows when it
wants to tell you something.
Ugh.
Hey, I'm just
the messenger.
All I know is that
my destiny with the orb
is somehow tied
to that key.
Well, am I the only one
who ain't got a destiny
with this stupid
orb thing?
What is this key
supposed to unlock?
Unfortunately, I haven't
the slightest idea.
At least
we know we're on
the right track.
How do you
know that, Bowler?
A wild guess.
Ooh.
Ah, yes.
Devil's cavern.
Congratulations,
Professor.
What a perfectly
sadistic place
to have hidden
the orb.
Not a person
in their right mind
would venture
into that lair.
Of course,
you used the orb
to help you avoid
the pitfalls, didn't you?
So, after you,
Professor.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
Hold it, Bly.
[COCKS GUN]
Bly! Don't!
Don't worry, Lillian.
I got you.
I feel weak.
Berkey, hold me.
What happened?
You're old.
You're hideous.
No, I'm not.
My God. This is the result
of the medicine wearing off.
I'm afraid so.
This is too weird.
I'm getting
out of here.
No, Berkey,
don't leave me.
I'll be pretty
again.
I promise.
Berkey!
Alright.
Let him go. Let him go.
Lead me to the orb,
and show me how
to use it, Professor.
You still might be able
to save her.
Ogden, don't
listen to him.
But he's right,
Lillian.
No. I can't cheat
Mother Nature
forever.
The orb gave me
more time
than I ought
to have had,
and I'm grateful
for that time.
I'm grateful
for you.
I can't let you die.
Tick tock, Professor.
Tick tock.
Ogden.
Ogden.
Forgive me.
Okay, I'll help you
with the orb,
but you have
to promise me
you'll let me use it
to make her medicine.
You have my word,
Professor.
I'll be back.
I'll be back. Okay?
I'll be back.
Oh, my God.
Brisco.
Who are you?
Don't you
recognize me?
I'm Lillian.
Professor Cole's
daughter?
No.
I'm his mother.
Ogden gave me water
which had been touched
by an orb rod...
[WHEEZING]
to help me
with my arthritis,
but it also gave me
what I wanted most--
[WHEEZING]
To be young again...
[WHEEZING]
Gloriously young.
Whoa.
It's the Fountain
of Youth.
That's how I was able
to surround myself
with a gang
of beautiful men.
Where's your son,
Lillian?
Bly took him in there.
[WOLF HOWLS]
That's devil's cavern.
[SOCRATES]
Is that bad?
It ain't good.
Brisco...
please save my son.
Poor woman.
Well, poor us if we
don't stop Bly
before
he gets that orb.
Let's go.
This darn lantern
keeps going out.
[SCREECHING]
What was that?
Bats.
Bats?
Not vampire bats,
you...
Better safe
than sorry.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh what?
Dead end.
What? What do you mean?
Are you sure?
I'm sure.
We're lost, Brisco.
This is why I didn't
want to come in here
in the first place.
We can't be lost.
You two are the best
trackers in the world.
Not in here, Poole.
Everything is turned
around and upside-down.
Let's backtrack.
We'll be back.
I don't remember
passing this
on our way in.
That's 'cause
we didn't.
It's rocky ground.
No way to tell which way
Bly and Coles went.
That's it.
It's over.
We dead.
Brisco, try
the glowing key.
Well, I'll be.
Brisco, your gun--
it's glowing, too.
Brisco,
do you have any idea
why in the heck
it's doing that?
Not a clue.
The message
in the fortune cookie.
I think I just
figured it out.
Well, what you waiting for,
Poole? Spit it out.
The hex key!
It fits the ivory handle
of your gun, Brisco.
How do you know that?
Because my destiny
was to make sure you
got your father's gun,
and now
it's to make sure
you find the message
inside it.
A brass bullet?
It looks more gold
than brass.
Actually...
it looks more like
the same alloy
as the orb.
You mean...
I've had this thing
with me all along,
and I never knew it?
Okay.
The orb is hidden
over there
behind the waterfall.
Excellent, Professor,
and now if you would
just be so kind
as to retrieve it
for me.
How do I know
you won't double-cross me
like you did Lillian?
Life is full of risk,
Professor.
Just remember, Bly--
No deal unless I get
to make the medicine.
Oh, your needs
are so trivial
in comparison.
Go get the orb.
What choice do you
really have at this
point, anyway?
Now where are we?
Box Canyon.
Accessible
only through the cave.
Well, at least
we're finally out.
Yeah. Out of the frying
pan and into the fire.
[WHOOSH]
What was that?
I don't know,
but it sounds hungry.
Maybe we'd better
turn around and go back.
No, Bly's here.
I can feel him.
This way.
The combination,
Professor.
The, uh,
correct combination,
if you don't mind.
I can feel its power.
It's...
it's magnificent!
Hello, Bly.
Oh, I do enjoy you,
County.
You are such
a worthy opponent.
Here to keep me
from the orb, are you?
As a matter of fact,
I am.
Lillian's medicine!
I'm sorry, Professor.
She's gone.
Too late!
I have total power now,
and I'm taking it
home with me.
And where's that?
In the future.
612 years
into the future,
to be exact.
612?
I'm from the year 2506,
and I am one of the few
of my people
to know of the existence
and the power of the orb.
I used a time machine
to bring me here,
because the year 1894
was the last time
that the orbs were
in existence together.
But two of the orbs
are gone.
But I only need one,
and with it
I will return home
and use its power
to rule the world!
You always did have
big dreams, Bly.
Sorry I'm going to have
to ruin them for you.
Oh, do you think that
I would allow some cretin
from an antediluvian world
to stop me?
I am invincible, County.
Bullets cannot harm me!
You sure?
Not even this one?
Where did you get that?
What do you care?
You're invincible.
You wouldn't dare!
Watch me.
Oh!
Aah!
What happened
to him?
Bly didn't take the orb.
The orb took Bly.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, it's all yours
now, Brisco.
Wait a minute.
What am I supposed
to do with it?
You must keep it safe
until it's time.
Time for what?
Your final encounter
with Bly.
What do you mean?
I just had my final
encounter with Bly.
I mean,
he's in this thing.
Isn't he?
Oh, Bly's in
the orb, alright,
but he's not
been dispatched.
Your destiny's
not yet fulfilled.
Oh, brother.
What's left?
Your destiny
is to learn more
about the orb
than I've been
able to.
That's why you've
got to protect it.
Keep the orb safe.
Lucky me.
Good-bye, my boy.
Until our paths
cross again.
So long, Professor.
What was all that about?
Well, he told me
I've got
to keep this orb
someplace safe.
How about inside
a volcano?
How about inside
your house?
Oh, no. No way.
What about
your place, Soc?
Make a nice
end table.
Thanks, but my destiny's
been fulfilled
with that thing.
I'd like to keep it
that way.
Brisco, can we just
be cowboys from now on?
Sure thing, partner.
Let's ride.
Ow.
Hyup!