The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 16 - Bounty Hunters' Convention - full transcript
I don't care what you say,
It's a stupid idea.
Bowler, you've been
whining since we
left San Francisco.
Some guy's going to
pay us $5,000
to sit around this place?
Oh, believe me, you
won't be sitting.
Mr. Hayes
is expecting this
to be a very
productive weekend.
Yeah, so who's
Mr. Hayes?
Well, from what
I've heard,
A very
well-intentioned
philanthropist
who wants
to do something
about the criminal
elements of
the West.
So he puts a bunch
of bounty hunters
under the same roof?
No, that could work.
You exchange ideas,
compare notes,
maybe come up
with some new leads
for John Bly.
The bounty hunters
are a bunch
of back-stabbing,
egocentric loners.
We don't exchange nothin'.
Mind speaking
for yourself?
Hello.
Sorry I was detained.
Welcome to the Island Lodge.
Currently, it's a pleasant
73 degrees outside.
The water temperature is 55,
and off the north shore,
the salmon are running.
I'm Todd. How may I help you?
Gimme a room!
I believe we
were ahead of you.
What's this?
Something to put
your teeth in
if you don't
get out of my way.
I think I'll
just wait over here.
If the man don't
give me a room,
he's gonna be
"Todd the Doorstop!"
Would room 5 be alright?
Now, wait
a minute, Todd,
Don't let him
intimidate you.
Oh, no, it's not
a problem.
It is if you're
giving away my room.
You know, Earl,
it's guys like you
that give bounty hunters
a bad name.
Thank you,
and don't
call me Earl!
This weekend is
about working together
and helping
each other out.
So, Skinner,
in the spirit
of good will,
give me the key
to my room.
Eat boot crud
and die.
I don't believe that.
You're just going to
let him take your room?
Aw, who cares,
Bowler?
Ha! Why blow up
about it?
I thought that
was a nonsmoking room.
My God,
what happened?
Oh, Todd, uh, room 5
now has an ocean view.
Oh, the wry humor
of young
Brisco County Jr.
I'm sorry. Have we met?
Trevor Furlong, formerly
of Scotland Yard.
What's Scotland Yard
doing here?
What are all of us
doing here?
Well, considering
one of us is dead,
that's a good question.
Poole, you got any
headache powder?
Either I got a pain,
or everybody
in the room's
humming.
Follow me.
I heard the explosion.
What happened?
Snake Skinner's
now wallpaper.
El Gato. Seems like
everybody's been invited
to this little party.
Eh, Brisco,
First time I've
been invited to a party
by a man I didn't know.
I'm Rosalind Peters,
Mr. Hayes' assistant.
Are you saying
someone's dead?
Mmm,
Mr. Snake Skinner.
Found himself in
the wrong room
at the wrong
time, and boom.
Need I say more?
Yeah, well, that was
supposed to be my room.
Any idea who was in charge
of the room assignments?
Well, I guess Mr. Hayes.And where is he?
Down at the dock,
greeting new arrivals.
I don't understand.
What is going on?
It's not "what."
It's more like "why?"
Why what?
Why is Snake Skinner
dead?
You don't think
it was an accident?
Well, it could
have been.
Snake Skinner
was always
packing dynamite
and he wasn't
exactly a stickler
for safety.
But you're not convinced?
Not enough
to let it go.
Now, that could have
been me in that room
up there,
and if Hayes
put me there,
I want to know why.
You're not
suggesting Mr. Hayes--
Brisco County!
Go find Hayes,
will you?
Of course.
Hello, Mountain.
That an explosion
I heard?
Yeah, Snake Skinner.
He got mixed up
with some dynamite.
Somebody finally
got him, huh?
Well, that's great.
Looks like this weekend
will be a little more
fun than I thought.
Depends on
your accommodations.
Speaking of which,
I got Lily with me.
She's cranky
and she's tired.
You got Comet with you?
Yeah.
You tell him,
he tries anything
with my Lily,
he'll have to answer
to me.
I'll talk to him.
You do that.
Brisco!
Hello, Sam.
How you doing,
boy?
Best I can, sir.
I hear you're
carving out
a reputation
just like
your old man's.
Not quite like Dad's.
Hell, that's what
all you young pups
are up to,
driving people like
me out of business.
No one's ever going
to drive Sam Travis
out of business.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
You just
remember that, kid,
and you'll stay
on my good side.
I can still take
any one of you.
Yes, sir.
So, are you going
to buy me a drink,
or are we just
going to stand
out here
and grow older?
I guess I'm going
to buy you a drink.
Mr. County, welcome.
Edward Hayes.
Mr. Hayes.
I understand
you're looking for me.
You look
very familiar.
Have we ever met?
No, never.
Mr. Hayes, when I
agreed to come here,
it was my understanding
I'd have a room
with a bath
and an ocean view.
How are we coming
on that?
Mr. Travis,
we will endeavor
to make you as comfortable
as possible,
but right now
there seems to be
a more pressing matter
to deal with.
Just out
of curiosity,
Mr. Hayes,
who exactly did you
want in room 5?
Mr. County!
I have brought together
the most renowned
bounty hunters in the land
with the expressed purpose
of taking the criminals
off their saddles
and making
this country safe.
That is the very reason
for this gathering.
That's a very
nice speech, Mr. Hayes,
but suppose right now
you and I go
check on that room
with an ocean view,
what do you say?
Brisco County.
What an honor.
I was hoping
you'd be here.
Dr. Ambrose Curber
at your service, sir.
You're not
a bounty hunter,
are you?
No, no, no,
I'm the bounty hunter's
best friend.
I was invited out here
to show all you
the tools of my trade
that I've been working on.
Please come,
let me show you.
So how long have
you been out here?
I came out yesterday
to give myself some time
for rigging
and preparation.
Uh-huh.
This is what
Dr. Ambrose Curber
is all about.
"Bounty hunter
of tomorrow,"
I like to call it--
face mask and goggles
to protect
against trail dust.
Uh-huh.
Metal-lined hat
to deflect rocks.
Huh.
Please note
to the leather gloves--
strong but
exceptionally supple.
Oh, so it doesn't interfere
with gun handling.
Not quite a gun,
Mr. County.
Shock pistol,
I like to call it.
Stuns the recipient with
a high-voltage charge.
Fascinating.
Hey, Furlong...
You got anything like this
at Scotland Yard?
Toys and gadgets.
At Scotland Yard,
they teach us
to use our brains.
Uh-huh.
Look out!
My God!
What exactly
was your reason
for this gathering,
Hayes?
Mr. County,
if you're suggesting
that I'm responsible
for what's happening
on this island,
I'll have you know--
Myron Stempler.
I beg your pardon?
Myron Stempler.
I saw you a month ago
at the Palace.
You're
a theater man?
You were doing Hamlet.
I...
I'm dead.
You know him?
That's Myron Stempler.
He's an actor.
Forget it, Stempler.
It's an island!
You don't
understand.
I'm not responsible
for any of this.
Well, what exactly are
you responsible for?
I received
a cashier's check.
I was told
to be Edward Hayes.
I recieved a script.
This entire weekend
was planned.
By whom?
I have no idea!
I'm sorry.
I was contacted
by a courier
who said
he represented
an anonymous
association
to stop crime.
Well, that sounded like
an excellent idea to me,
and it paid
triple scale.
And what about the accidents?
I don't know
about that,
I promise you.
I swear, it was not
in the script,
and I do not
improvise.
Do you take direction?
Of course I do.
I'm an actor.
Good. Go to your room
and stay there.
Absolutely.
Not a problem.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You must be
Brisco County Jr.
My name's Nevada Cooper.
Friends call me Coop.
Nice to meet you,
Coop.
You a bounty hunter?
I wouldn't be here
if I wasn't.
Something wrong?
I just never met
a piece of history before.
Now, let's not go
overboard, kid.
I'm looking forward
to working with you.
Am I missing
something?
My daddy always said
you find the best
in the business,
and you work with them.
You learn, and you go out
and you do it better.
Sounds like
you've got it
all figured out.
I wouldn't be here
if I didn't.
I still don't see
why I got to share
my room with you.
'Cause my room
no longer exists.
Why don't you
bunk down
with Poole?
Socrates? No, thanks.
Been there, done that.
Did you get
a good look at
that chandelier rope?
Yeah, I did.
It didn't get
that way by itself.
Yeah, I know.
No, no, no, no,
I ain't sharing
my bed with you.
Bowler, it's plenty big.
You stay on your half,
and I'll stay on mine.
My room, my bed.
Alright, Bowler,
I'll shoot you for it.
Rock, paper, scissors.
No, that ain't fair.
What could be more fair?
You're just afraid
you're going to lose.
Oh, that's funny.
Okay, let's go.
Alright, on 3.
Okay. 1, 2, 3.
Ah, rock beats scissors.
Wait, I meant
to say paper.
Too bad you didn't.
2 out of 3?
Watch out
for splinters, Bowler.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Miss Peters?
I need to speak with you...
in private.
Oh, sure, why not?
It ain't my room no more.
I'll just go down
and get myself
a glass of warm milk
or something
equally as exciting.
Bowler, your back.
Oh, I'll watch it.
I just came
from Mr. Hayes' room,
and he's gone.
What?
He took the entire staff
and left on the supply boat.
A storm's coming,
so there might not be
another boat here
for days.
I don't know
what is going on.
Did you know
that he was an actor?
A what?
He brought us
all out here
and now he's gone.
Well, you work
for him.
Why don't
you tell me
what's going on?
Mr. Hayes came to me.
He offered me a job.
Mr. County,
If I'd known
that boat was leaving,
I'd have been on it.
What are we going to do?
[SIGHS]
Well, stay alive
until I can
figure out who's
behind all this.
[THUNDER]
How long will that be?
I don't know,
we'll see.
Might take a while
to find
the clue we need.
And then again,
maybe not.
Oh, what a shame.
You got
the only room
with a decent bath.
Who is that?
Sam Travis.
Ohh.
Acid, eh?
A clue, perhaps,
based on his
personality.
Oh, I get it. So someone's
going to kill you
with a lot of hot air?
What happened?
Sam took an acid trip.
I see you've
burned your hand,
Mr. Bowler.
Yeah, on the stove,
warming up
some milk.
Interesting
alibi.
Alibi for what?
Wait a minute,
you don't think
he burned his hand
fixing an acid bath?
You calling me
a murderer?
If the shoe fits...
You know, I can
remove that little smirk
from your face,
and you won't even
feel a thing.
Anytime,
Mr. Lord Bowler.
Alright, now hold on now!
We got enough problems
with a killer on the loose.
Yes, but is he
on the loose?
Wait a minute, Furlong.
You're barking up
the wrong tree.
Anybody who did this
needed time to set it up.
Bowler hasn't
been out of my sight
for more than 10 minutes
since we arrived.
Plus, I don't know nothing
about no acid.
It ain't my way
of doing business.
Yeah, but I know
somebody that would.
Game's over, Curber.
Get up!
What?
There's been
another murder,
as if you
didn't know.
Now, wait a minute here!
There's no guarantee
that he's the murderer.
Could be anyone
of us here...
or none of us.
Oh, never mind that.
Dr. Curber here
is the only one
with the brains
or the means
to pull off
these little dramas.
Why on earth
would I want
to harm anyone?
I mean,
look over here
at my inventions--
a portable net launcher,
odorless knockout drops,
rubber bullets.
Many of you have already
seen my shock pistol.
He's right.
These are all
nonlethal weapons.
Designed to prevent deaths,
not cause them.
Well, perhaps
that's just a clever
camouflage, Doctor,
which only suggests
an even more diabolical mind
than I had presumed.
I say we
lock him up.
So do I.
Just a minute
here, Furlong.
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
Now, I want
this murderer
just as bad
as you do, Furlong,
but until we
have concrete proof,
nobody is
locking anybody up.
I want it on record, then.
If there are
any more deaths
before you get
your precious proof,
they'll be on your head.
So that's
the way it's
going to be, huh?
One killing
at a time?
Might be a good idea
if we all just stay in
our rooms until morning.
Well, I'm in room
one, down the hall,
last door
on the right,
if anyone's
looking for me.
Where we going to be?
What happened?
Skeletons crashing
through the ceiling,
flying accusations,
macho posturing,
and the fact
that Bowler and I
are now your new roommates.
Oh.
You don't snore,
do you, Poole?
He not only snores,
he makes these little
gurgling noises.
Hey, do you still
keep your pants
under your mattress?
Is it really necessary
for all of us spending
the night together
in the same room?
Would you rather
sleep alone
with a mad dog
killer roaming
the halls?
Good point.
Why are you
putting your socks
up there?
Heat rises.
Don't you like
a warm pair of socks
in the morning?
I like them
on my feet.
Hey, Poole.
How about a nice,
friendly game
of rock,
paper, scissors?
Not a chance.
Damn!
You know, we're missing
the obvious here, fellas.
Who would want
all of us dead?
How about John Bly?
How about Rosalind
is working for Bly?
Don't be ridiculous.
Rosalind isn't
a murderer.
She couldn't be,
could she?
I'd put my money
on Furlong.
Furlong? Why?
Because he's
always so anxious
to pin everything
on somebody else.
Which is exactly
why I don't
think it's him.
Well, we're not
going to figure it out
tonight, anyway.
Hit the light,
will you, Soc?
[THUMP]
[THUMP]
Do you mind?
I forgot
to do something.
Whatever it is,
do it quieter.
I can't.
Fellas, please!
I'm trying to get some sleep.
Oh, fine!
Okay.
Goodnight!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Oh, for crying out loud!
Now what?
Wait! Watch out!
Whoa!
[SOCRATES GROANING
AND COUGHING]
Sorry, Poole.
Can't be too careful.
Oh, Comet.
I'm not sleeping
in the same room
with a horse.
I just want to
make that clear.
[COMET NEIGHS]
You know better
than that.
Now get going.
Jeez.
Get me down!
No, Comet,
you're not a suspect.
When I said the killer
was an animal,
I didn't mean
the four-legged kind.
Uhh!
Uhh!
What are you
doing out here?
You think
I'm the killer,
don't you?
Should I?
If I was,
you wouldn't
know it.
Why?
'Cause you'd be
on the ground--
dead.
Always a pleasure,
Mountain.
El Gato.
Ohh!
What the h...
Uhh!
Uhh!
[GRUNTING]
Alright.
Everybody up. Let's go.
Come on. Out! Out!
What happened?
Somebody tried to fry me
on the flagpole,
and whoever it was should be
just like me--wet.
Now, let's go. Out!
What?
Your hair's all wet.
It gets that way
when I wash it.
Now, this
better be good, County.
You've interrupted
my bath.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Socrates,
you're all--
I know--drenched.
I was worried about you.
I went out to the barn
to look for you.
I can vouch for him.
I was following him.
You were following me?
Yeah, when it comes
to murder,
you never rule out
a lawyer.
What?
I'm I the only one
whose ceiling leaks?
I can't believe this.
What's to believe?
El Gato's dead.
I found his body
down by the beach.
Now, whoever killed him
tried to kill me.
Oh, how unpleasant.
My room has a view
in that direction.
All the better
to take in
your handiwork?
How do we know that
you'renot the killer?
Anybody care
to confess?
No? Then I'm going
back to bed.
Those of us
who are still alive
in the morning
can discuss it further.
Goodnight...
one and all.
I know that look.
You ain't done
tonight, are you?
There's only one person
on this island
that wasn't
in that hallway.
Mountain McClain.
And I think
I want to know why.
Well, why go after him?
I say we wait here
and see if he comes for us.
Brisco, I don't advise this.
Brisco!
Oh, forget this.
I'm going back to the room.
Why don't nobody
never listen to me?
Whoa!
Bowler?
Oh, no, this is
not good.
Ohh.
Well, well.
What have we here?
Ahh, a secret passageway.
Now we getting somewhere.
Alright, McClain.
Keep your hands
where I can see them
and come on out.
He said show yourself! Now!
What are you doing
out here?
The same thing as you.
McClain was the only
one not in the hall.
Get him off, County!
Get him off!
Get him off!
What?
He's dead.
Shot in the back.
Well, that rules me out.
I never shot a man
in the back before.
Oh, you've shot
a lot of men, huh?
Enough.
How many?
What's your point?
Forget it.
Well, you don't think
I could've done it, huh?
Maybe I took
those guys out
to make myself
a reputation.
You don't make
a reputation, kid,
you do your job.
And a reputation
either comes
or it doesn't.
You don't think
much of me, do you?
What does it matter?
Well, I hear you're fast.
I hear you're
real fast...
maybe the fastest.
Well, I can move a gun
pretty good myself.
So what do you say
we try one?
Try it.
Just one draw.
Humor me.
You got a lot
to learn, kid.
I guess
Brisco County Jr.
Ain't such
great shakes, huh?
Consider yourself
humored.
Hey, you know when
we ride together?
You've got to show me
how to do that.
I like that.
Mm-hmm.
[SNIFF SNIFF]
Me?
I'm next?
[THUMP]
Unh.
Any luck
finding Bowler?
No. You?
None.
I suppose
if he were dead,
we would've found
the body by now.
That's pretty
much been
the pattern
so far, yeah.
Well, for Bowler's sake,
let's hope our killer
hasn't changed his M.O.
[GUNSHOT]
Wait here.
Come on, Soc.
What's going on here?
Getting
some practice in--
going to be
nice and ready
when the killer
shows up for me.
I suggest you join us,
Mr. County.
You never can be
too prepared for
the unexpected.
Lord Bowler's
missing.
Have you seen him?
No. Oh, I say,
I am sorry.
I find him a bit loud,
but it is a shame
nonetheless.
Care to take
the edge off?
I'm not
a gunslinger.
No kidding?
What's that
supposed to mean?
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
Try the fresh
target.
Give me that.
Socrates, we have
other things to do.
It's got a sweet
little kick.
Don't let it
knock you over.
[MOANS]
[GRUNTING]
Well, you hit
the boards, anyway.
Let me get the feel
of your weapon.
Aah!
Hey, hold it!
Nobody shoot.
What's he all
worked up about?
Let's go.
You took
your sweet time,
County.
Oh, my God!
And I suppose that none
of you knew he was out here.
Of course not!
I'm not accusing you.
Well, who are
you accusing?
Don't look at me.
It ain't my style.
The targets were
already set up
when we got here.
If you ask me,
the whole thing's
rather
Dr. Curber-esque.
Uh-huh.
You have
other suspicions?
I do, indeed.
Well, I do hope
you'll share them
with us quite soon,
Mr. County.
I'm in some danger
of falling asleep
during
your somniferous plod
across this brooding
moor of mystery.
What'd he say?
He likes my style.
Bowler, how did you
end up out here?
You ain't
going to like it.
Hey, kid,
why don't you
do us a favor
and keep an eye on
Furlong, would you?
You think he's
up to something?
Um, see what you
can find out.
Yeah.
I'll just do that.
Come on.
Look what I found.
Uhh.
Souvenirs.
Plus a clue to
what our killer's
up to next.
Check that cork.
Cyanide.
Looks like somebody's
going to make
a killer toast.
And I know who.
Rosalind's room?
Yep.
And she's nice and
organized about it.
I don't know, Bowler.
What's to know?
It's all right there
in black and white.
We finally got
one step ahead
of this killer.
I don't want to make
any mistakes.
Well, what
you got in mind?
Letting the killer
propose his or her toast.
Huh?
Only we put something
a little less lethal
in an identical bottle.
Is all this
necessary?
Trust me on this.
Well, it appears
we all survived
long enough
for the boat
to arrive.
That's
an accomplishment.
Afternoon
ain't over yet.
The boat should be here
within the hour.
Who brought the champagne?
I found it
in the kitchen. Hmm?
Then let's consider it
a gift of the lodge.
Anyone care for a glass?
I thought I heard
a champagne cork pop.
What's the occasion?
Getting
out of here.
Oh, well, allow me.
Ahem.
Oh, look at this.
Excellent vintage.
Somebody around here
seems to have
some taste.
Let's not forget
the kid here.
Oh. Whoops.
Look, I haven't
even had a sip yet
and already
I'm slopping it
all over the floor.
Uh, well, uh, I for one
propose a toast.
To getting
off the island.
BRISCO:
There we are.
Cheers.
Here, here.
Ahh. I needed that.
Here's mud
in your eye.
You, uh, drinking,
Furlong?
Yes, of course.
Uh, so, Rosalind,
uh, what about you?
Champagne
was your idea,
and you haven't
even had a taste.
Why am I getting
the suspicious treatment
all of a sudden?
Maybe it has
something to do
with what we found
in your room.
You were in my room?
A secret passageway
led there.
What were we
supposed to do?
What passage?
We saw the list
on your desk.
No, you've got
it all wrong.
Then why don't you
tell us what's right.
Alright, I will.
I hired Hayes,
and, yes, it was me
who brought all
the bounty hunters
here,
but I didn't
kill anyone.
Then who did?
I don't know!
I made that list
to try and solve
the mystery,
but I didn't
get very far!
Relax, Rosalind.
Why don't you
have a drink?
What is this--
some kind of a test?
Fine. I'll drink.
Happy now?
Well, then
why did you bring
everybody together?
Because John Bly
killed my father,
and I wanted him
caught.
I knew none of you
would come here on
a woman's request.
That's why
I hired Hayes.
My father was
a federal judge.
Bly killed him
3 years ago
to intimidate
other judges
into not
issuing warrants
against him.
I've spent my entire
inheritance
searching for Bly...
the last of it
on this conference.
I had hoped
if you all
got together and
shared your ideas,
you'd have
a better chance of
bringing Bly down.
[MOANING]
I feel a little
light-headed.
Ain't nobody left,
so who's the killer?
He hasn't
shown himself yet.
Huh?
I guess I haven't
had champagne
in a long time.
[GASPS]
What's going on?
Ha ha ha!
You know,
you're kind of cute,
Bowler.
Ha ha ha ha! Ah.
[THUMP]
Now what?
Pass out and
see what happens.
I hate this.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Mmm. Ahh.
Uhh.
Ohh.
Uhh.
Uhh.
Uhh.
Ya!
Ha!
Okay, Bowler,
let's find out who
the masked man is.
Ooh!
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Ho!
Hey, Bowler,
are you okay?
Say something.
D-d-d-d-damn!
Hyah! Come on, boy!
[GUNSHOTS]
Hyah!
[CLICK CLICK]
Okay, partner!
Come on!
Who is it?
Let's find out.
Sam?
He's dead!
You dead!
I'm confused.
It wasn't him
in the tub.
Just some skeleton
he packed away
for the occasion.
What occasion?
The chance to wipe out
the competition.
I've been
a bounty hunter
longer than
you've been in boots.
You kids think
you can just come in here
and take my job?
Take my livelihood?
We were
your colleagues, Sam.
I don't need
any colleagues!
When I was invited
to this convention,
I realized that
divine providence
offered me an opportunity
to clean house!
Now, Sam, mentally,
I think you've thrown a shoe.
Crazy, huh?
Take me in.
Take my job.
I don't care.
Sorry, Sam.
Take my job!
I don't care!
You're welcome to it...
all of it.
Something to
look forward to
in our old age, huh?
Not a bad bit
of foxing, really.
Well, everybody
helped.
We all
just passed out.
Convincingly.
Yes.
Well, that boat isn't
going to wait forever.
Shall we?
I'll catch up.
So, Rosalind, uh...
sorry about
the weekend.
I guess things
didn't exactly
work out
how you expected.
Believe me,
I'm happy to be alive.
Oh, uh, I'll keep
you posted on Bly.
Thank you, Mr. County.
Thanks for saving
all our hides.
Coop.
Boat's leaving.
You coming?
Already, huh?
Time flies.
So, where we
off to now, boss?
I know, I know,
You got to get
used to the idea.
It's okay.
I'll see you
soon enough.
You think so?
I wouldn't have
said so if I didn't.
Ready to roll?
I'm ready.
It's a shame things
didn't work out
the way
Rosalind wanted.
Bounty hunters
getting together,
exchanging ideas.
It could have been
very productive.
It's a stupid idea.
Yeah, but a convention
isn't a bad idea.
You just need
the right group
of people.
Dentists!
Dentists!
[ALL LAUGH]
It's a stupid idea.
Bowler, you've been
whining since we
left San Francisco.
Some guy's going to
pay us $5,000
to sit around this place?
Oh, believe me, you
won't be sitting.
Mr. Hayes
is expecting this
to be a very
productive weekend.
Yeah, so who's
Mr. Hayes?
Well, from what
I've heard,
A very
well-intentioned
philanthropist
who wants
to do something
about the criminal
elements of
the West.
So he puts a bunch
of bounty hunters
under the same roof?
No, that could work.
You exchange ideas,
compare notes,
maybe come up
with some new leads
for John Bly.
The bounty hunters
are a bunch
of back-stabbing,
egocentric loners.
We don't exchange nothin'.
Mind speaking
for yourself?
Hello.
Sorry I was detained.
Welcome to the Island Lodge.
Currently, it's a pleasant
73 degrees outside.
The water temperature is 55,
and off the north shore,
the salmon are running.
I'm Todd. How may I help you?
Gimme a room!
I believe we
were ahead of you.
What's this?
Something to put
your teeth in
if you don't
get out of my way.
I think I'll
just wait over here.
If the man don't
give me a room,
he's gonna be
"Todd the Doorstop!"
Would room 5 be alright?
Now, wait
a minute, Todd,
Don't let him
intimidate you.
Oh, no, it's not
a problem.
It is if you're
giving away my room.
You know, Earl,
it's guys like you
that give bounty hunters
a bad name.
Thank you,
and don't
call me Earl!
This weekend is
about working together
and helping
each other out.
So, Skinner,
in the spirit
of good will,
give me the key
to my room.
Eat boot crud
and die.
I don't believe that.
You're just going to
let him take your room?
Aw, who cares,
Bowler?
Ha! Why blow up
about it?
I thought that
was a nonsmoking room.
My God,
what happened?
Oh, Todd, uh, room 5
now has an ocean view.
Oh, the wry humor
of young
Brisco County Jr.
I'm sorry. Have we met?
Trevor Furlong, formerly
of Scotland Yard.
What's Scotland Yard
doing here?
What are all of us
doing here?
Well, considering
one of us is dead,
that's a good question.
Poole, you got any
headache powder?
Either I got a pain,
or everybody
in the room's
humming.
Follow me.
I heard the explosion.
What happened?
Snake Skinner's
now wallpaper.
El Gato. Seems like
everybody's been invited
to this little party.
Eh, Brisco,
First time I've
been invited to a party
by a man I didn't know.
I'm Rosalind Peters,
Mr. Hayes' assistant.
Are you saying
someone's dead?
Mmm,
Mr. Snake Skinner.
Found himself in
the wrong room
at the wrong
time, and boom.
Need I say more?
Yeah, well, that was
supposed to be my room.
Any idea who was in charge
of the room assignments?
Well, I guess Mr. Hayes.And where is he?
Down at the dock,
greeting new arrivals.
I don't understand.
What is going on?
It's not "what."
It's more like "why?"
Why what?
Why is Snake Skinner
dead?
You don't think
it was an accident?
Well, it could
have been.
Snake Skinner
was always
packing dynamite
and he wasn't
exactly a stickler
for safety.
But you're not convinced?
Not enough
to let it go.
Now, that could have
been me in that room
up there,
and if Hayes
put me there,
I want to know why.
You're not
suggesting Mr. Hayes--
Brisco County!
Go find Hayes,
will you?
Of course.
Hello, Mountain.
That an explosion
I heard?
Yeah, Snake Skinner.
He got mixed up
with some dynamite.
Somebody finally
got him, huh?
Well, that's great.
Looks like this weekend
will be a little more
fun than I thought.
Depends on
your accommodations.
Speaking of which,
I got Lily with me.
She's cranky
and she's tired.
You got Comet with you?
Yeah.
You tell him,
he tries anything
with my Lily,
he'll have to answer
to me.
I'll talk to him.
You do that.
Brisco!
Hello, Sam.
How you doing,
boy?
Best I can, sir.
I hear you're
carving out
a reputation
just like
your old man's.
Not quite like Dad's.
Hell, that's what
all you young pups
are up to,
driving people like
me out of business.
No one's ever going
to drive Sam Travis
out of business.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
You just
remember that, kid,
and you'll stay
on my good side.
I can still take
any one of you.
Yes, sir.
So, are you going
to buy me a drink,
or are we just
going to stand
out here
and grow older?
I guess I'm going
to buy you a drink.
Mr. County, welcome.
Edward Hayes.
Mr. Hayes.
I understand
you're looking for me.
You look
very familiar.
Have we ever met?
No, never.
Mr. Hayes, when I
agreed to come here,
it was my understanding
I'd have a room
with a bath
and an ocean view.
How are we coming
on that?
Mr. Travis,
we will endeavor
to make you as comfortable
as possible,
but right now
there seems to be
a more pressing matter
to deal with.
Just out
of curiosity,
Mr. Hayes,
who exactly did you
want in room 5?
Mr. County!
I have brought together
the most renowned
bounty hunters in the land
with the expressed purpose
of taking the criminals
off their saddles
and making
this country safe.
That is the very reason
for this gathering.
That's a very
nice speech, Mr. Hayes,
but suppose right now
you and I go
check on that room
with an ocean view,
what do you say?
Brisco County.
What an honor.
I was hoping
you'd be here.
Dr. Ambrose Curber
at your service, sir.
You're not
a bounty hunter,
are you?
No, no, no,
I'm the bounty hunter's
best friend.
I was invited out here
to show all you
the tools of my trade
that I've been working on.
Please come,
let me show you.
So how long have
you been out here?
I came out yesterday
to give myself some time
for rigging
and preparation.
Uh-huh.
This is what
Dr. Ambrose Curber
is all about.
"Bounty hunter
of tomorrow,"
I like to call it--
face mask and goggles
to protect
against trail dust.
Uh-huh.
Metal-lined hat
to deflect rocks.
Huh.
Please note
to the leather gloves--
strong but
exceptionally supple.
Oh, so it doesn't interfere
with gun handling.
Not quite a gun,
Mr. County.
Shock pistol,
I like to call it.
Stuns the recipient with
a high-voltage charge.
Fascinating.
Hey, Furlong...
You got anything like this
at Scotland Yard?
Toys and gadgets.
At Scotland Yard,
they teach us
to use our brains.
Uh-huh.
Look out!
My God!
What exactly
was your reason
for this gathering,
Hayes?
Mr. County,
if you're suggesting
that I'm responsible
for what's happening
on this island,
I'll have you know--
Myron Stempler.
I beg your pardon?
Myron Stempler.
I saw you a month ago
at the Palace.
You're
a theater man?
You were doing Hamlet.
I...
I'm dead.
You know him?
That's Myron Stempler.
He's an actor.
Forget it, Stempler.
It's an island!
You don't
understand.
I'm not responsible
for any of this.
Well, what exactly are
you responsible for?
I received
a cashier's check.
I was told
to be Edward Hayes.
I recieved a script.
This entire weekend
was planned.
By whom?
I have no idea!
I'm sorry.
I was contacted
by a courier
who said
he represented
an anonymous
association
to stop crime.
Well, that sounded like
an excellent idea to me,
and it paid
triple scale.
And what about the accidents?
I don't know
about that,
I promise you.
I swear, it was not
in the script,
and I do not
improvise.
Do you take direction?
Of course I do.
I'm an actor.
Good. Go to your room
and stay there.
Absolutely.
Not a problem.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You must be
Brisco County Jr.
My name's Nevada Cooper.
Friends call me Coop.
Nice to meet you,
Coop.
You a bounty hunter?
I wouldn't be here
if I wasn't.
Something wrong?
I just never met
a piece of history before.
Now, let's not go
overboard, kid.
I'm looking forward
to working with you.
Am I missing
something?
My daddy always said
you find the best
in the business,
and you work with them.
You learn, and you go out
and you do it better.
Sounds like
you've got it
all figured out.
I wouldn't be here
if I didn't.
I still don't see
why I got to share
my room with you.
'Cause my room
no longer exists.
Why don't you
bunk down
with Poole?
Socrates? No, thanks.
Been there, done that.
Did you get
a good look at
that chandelier rope?
Yeah, I did.
It didn't get
that way by itself.
Yeah, I know.
No, no, no, no,
I ain't sharing
my bed with you.
Bowler, it's plenty big.
You stay on your half,
and I'll stay on mine.
My room, my bed.
Alright, Bowler,
I'll shoot you for it.
Rock, paper, scissors.
No, that ain't fair.
What could be more fair?
You're just afraid
you're going to lose.
Oh, that's funny.
Okay, let's go.
Alright, on 3.
Okay. 1, 2, 3.
Ah, rock beats scissors.
Wait, I meant
to say paper.
Too bad you didn't.
2 out of 3?
Watch out
for splinters, Bowler.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Miss Peters?
I need to speak with you...
in private.
Oh, sure, why not?
It ain't my room no more.
I'll just go down
and get myself
a glass of warm milk
or something
equally as exciting.
Bowler, your back.
Oh, I'll watch it.
I just came
from Mr. Hayes' room,
and he's gone.
What?
He took the entire staff
and left on the supply boat.
A storm's coming,
so there might not be
another boat here
for days.
I don't know
what is going on.
Did you know
that he was an actor?
A what?
He brought us
all out here
and now he's gone.
Well, you work
for him.
Why don't
you tell me
what's going on?
Mr. Hayes came to me.
He offered me a job.
Mr. County,
If I'd known
that boat was leaving,
I'd have been on it.
What are we going to do?
[SIGHS]
Well, stay alive
until I can
figure out who's
behind all this.
[THUNDER]
How long will that be?
I don't know,
we'll see.
Might take a while
to find
the clue we need.
And then again,
maybe not.
Oh, what a shame.
You got
the only room
with a decent bath.
Who is that?
Sam Travis.
Ohh.
Acid, eh?
A clue, perhaps,
based on his
personality.
Oh, I get it. So someone's
going to kill you
with a lot of hot air?
What happened?
Sam took an acid trip.
I see you've
burned your hand,
Mr. Bowler.
Yeah, on the stove,
warming up
some milk.
Interesting
alibi.
Alibi for what?
Wait a minute,
you don't think
he burned his hand
fixing an acid bath?
You calling me
a murderer?
If the shoe fits...
You know, I can
remove that little smirk
from your face,
and you won't even
feel a thing.
Anytime,
Mr. Lord Bowler.
Alright, now hold on now!
We got enough problems
with a killer on the loose.
Yes, but is he
on the loose?
Wait a minute, Furlong.
You're barking up
the wrong tree.
Anybody who did this
needed time to set it up.
Bowler hasn't
been out of my sight
for more than 10 minutes
since we arrived.
Plus, I don't know nothing
about no acid.
It ain't my way
of doing business.
Yeah, but I know
somebody that would.
Game's over, Curber.
Get up!
What?
There's been
another murder,
as if you
didn't know.
Now, wait a minute here!
There's no guarantee
that he's the murderer.
Could be anyone
of us here...
or none of us.
Oh, never mind that.
Dr. Curber here
is the only one
with the brains
or the means
to pull off
these little dramas.
Why on earth
would I want
to harm anyone?
I mean,
look over here
at my inventions--
a portable net launcher,
odorless knockout drops,
rubber bullets.
Many of you have already
seen my shock pistol.
He's right.
These are all
nonlethal weapons.
Designed to prevent deaths,
not cause them.
Well, perhaps
that's just a clever
camouflage, Doctor,
which only suggests
an even more diabolical mind
than I had presumed.
I say we
lock him up.
So do I.
Just a minute
here, Furlong.
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
Now, I want
this murderer
just as bad
as you do, Furlong,
but until we
have concrete proof,
nobody is
locking anybody up.
I want it on record, then.
If there are
any more deaths
before you get
your precious proof,
they'll be on your head.
So that's
the way it's
going to be, huh?
One killing
at a time?
Might be a good idea
if we all just stay in
our rooms until morning.
Well, I'm in room
one, down the hall,
last door
on the right,
if anyone's
looking for me.
Where we going to be?
What happened?
Skeletons crashing
through the ceiling,
flying accusations,
macho posturing,
and the fact
that Bowler and I
are now your new roommates.
Oh.
You don't snore,
do you, Poole?
He not only snores,
he makes these little
gurgling noises.
Hey, do you still
keep your pants
under your mattress?
Is it really necessary
for all of us spending
the night together
in the same room?
Would you rather
sleep alone
with a mad dog
killer roaming
the halls?
Good point.
Why are you
putting your socks
up there?
Heat rises.
Don't you like
a warm pair of socks
in the morning?
I like them
on my feet.
Hey, Poole.
How about a nice,
friendly game
of rock,
paper, scissors?
Not a chance.
Damn!
You know, we're missing
the obvious here, fellas.
Who would want
all of us dead?
How about John Bly?
How about Rosalind
is working for Bly?
Don't be ridiculous.
Rosalind isn't
a murderer.
She couldn't be,
could she?
I'd put my money
on Furlong.
Furlong? Why?
Because he's
always so anxious
to pin everything
on somebody else.
Which is exactly
why I don't
think it's him.
Well, we're not
going to figure it out
tonight, anyway.
Hit the light,
will you, Soc?
[THUMP]
[THUMP]
Do you mind?
I forgot
to do something.
Whatever it is,
do it quieter.
I can't.
Fellas, please!
I'm trying to get some sleep.
Oh, fine!
Okay.
Goodnight!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Oh, for crying out loud!
Now what?
Wait! Watch out!
Whoa!
[SOCRATES GROANING
AND COUGHING]
Sorry, Poole.
Can't be too careful.
Oh, Comet.
I'm not sleeping
in the same room
with a horse.
I just want to
make that clear.
[COMET NEIGHS]
You know better
than that.
Now get going.
Jeez.
Get me down!
No, Comet,
you're not a suspect.
When I said the killer
was an animal,
I didn't mean
the four-legged kind.
Uhh!
Uhh!
What are you
doing out here?
You think
I'm the killer,
don't you?
Should I?
If I was,
you wouldn't
know it.
Why?
'Cause you'd be
on the ground--
dead.
Always a pleasure,
Mountain.
El Gato.
Ohh!
What the h...
Uhh!
Uhh!
[GRUNTING]
Alright.
Everybody up. Let's go.
Come on. Out! Out!
What happened?
Somebody tried to fry me
on the flagpole,
and whoever it was should be
just like me--wet.
Now, let's go. Out!
What?
Your hair's all wet.
It gets that way
when I wash it.
Now, this
better be good, County.
You've interrupted
my bath.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Socrates,
you're all--
I know--drenched.
I was worried about you.
I went out to the barn
to look for you.
I can vouch for him.
I was following him.
You were following me?
Yeah, when it comes
to murder,
you never rule out
a lawyer.
What?
I'm I the only one
whose ceiling leaks?
I can't believe this.
What's to believe?
El Gato's dead.
I found his body
down by the beach.
Now, whoever killed him
tried to kill me.
Oh, how unpleasant.
My room has a view
in that direction.
All the better
to take in
your handiwork?
How do we know that
you'renot the killer?
Anybody care
to confess?
No? Then I'm going
back to bed.
Those of us
who are still alive
in the morning
can discuss it further.
Goodnight...
one and all.
I know that look.
You ain't done
tonight, are you?
There's only one person
on this island
that wasn't
in that hallway.
Mountain McClain.
And I think
I want to know why.
Well, why go after him?
I say we wait here
and see if he comes for us.
Brisco, I don't advise this.
Brisco!
Oh, forget this.
I'm going back to the room.
Why don't nobody
never listen to me?
Whoa!
Bowler?
Oh, no, this is
not good.
Ohh.
Well, well.
What have we here?
Ahh, a secret passageway.
Now we getting somewhere.
Alright, McClain.
Keep your hands
where I can see them
and come on out.
He said show yourself! Now!
What are you doing
out here?
The same thing as you.
McClain was the only
one not in the hall.
Get him off, County!
Get him off!
Get him off!
What?
He's dead.
Shot in the back.
Well, that rules me out.
I never shot a man
in the back before.
Oh, you've shot
a lot of men, huh?
Enough.
How many?
What's your point?
Forget it.
Well, you don't think
I could've done it, huh?
Maybe I took
those guys out
to make myself
a reputation.
You don't make
a reputation, kid,
you do your job.
And a reputation
either comes
or it doesn't.
You don't think
much of me, do you?
What does it matter?
Well, I hear you're fast.
I hear you're
real fast...
maybe the fastest.
Well, I can move a gun
pretty good myself.
So what do you say
we try one?
Try it.
Just one draw.
Humor me.
You got a lot
to learn, kid.
I guess
Brisco County Jr.
Ain't such
great shakes, huh?
Consider yourself
humored.
Hey, you know when
we ride together?
You've got to show me
how to do that.
I like that.
Mm-hmm.
[SNIFF SNIFF]
Me?
I'm next?
[THUMP]
Unh.
Any luck
finding Bowler?
No. You?
None.
I suppose
if he were dead,
we would've found
the body by now.
That's pretty
much been
the pattern
so far, yeah.
Well, for Bowler's sake,
let's hope our killer
hasn't changed his M.O.
[GUNSHOT]
Wait here.
Come on, Soc.
What's going on here?
Getting
some practice in--
going to be
nice and ready
when the killer
shows up for me.
I suggest you join us,
Mr. County.
You never can be
too prepared for
the unexpected.
Lord Bowler's
missing.
Have you seen him?
No. Oh, I say,
I am sorry.
I find him a bit loud,
but it is a shame
nonetheless.
Care to take
the edge off?
I'm not
a gunslinger.
No kidding?
What's that
supposed to mean?
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
Try the fresh
target.
Give me that.
Socrates, we have
other things to do.
It's got a sweet
little kick.
Don't let it
knock you over.
[MOANS]
[GRUNTING]
Well, you hit
the boards, anyway.
Let me get the feel
of your weapon.
Aah!
Hey, hold it!
Nobody shoot.
What's he all
worked up about?
Let's go.
You took
your sweet time,
County.
Oh, my God!
And I suppose that none
of you knew he was out here.
Of course not!
I'm not accusing you.
Well, who are
you accusing?
Don't look at me.
It ain't my style.
The targets were
already set up
when we got here.
If you ask me,
the whole thing's
rather
Dr. Curber-esque.
Uh-huh.
You have
other suspicions?
I do, indeed.
Well, I do hope
you'll share them
with us quite soon,
Mr. County.
I'm in some danger
of falling asleep
during
your somniferous plod
across this brooding
moor of mystery.
What'd he say?
He likes my style.
Bowler, how did you
end up out here?
You ain't
going to like it.
Hey, kid,
why don't you
do us a favor
and keep an eye on
Furlong, would you?
You think he's
up to something?
Um, see what you
can find out.
Yeah.
I'll just do that.
Come on.
Look what I found.
Uhh.
Souvenirs.
Plus a clue to
what our killer's
up to next.
Check that cork.
Cyanide.
Looks like somebody's
going to make
a killer toast.
And I know who.
Rosalind's room?
Yep.
And she's nice and
organized about it.
I don't know, Bowler.
What's to know?
It's all right there
in black and white.
We finally got
one step ahead
of this killer.
I don't want to make
any mistakes.
Well, what
you got in mind?
Letting the killer
propose his or her toast.
Huh?
Only we put something
a little less lethal
in an identical bottle.
Is all this
necessary?
Trust me on this.
Well, it appears
we all survived
long enough
for the boat
to arrive.
That's
an accomplishment.
Afternoon
ain't over yet.
The boat should be here
within the hour.
Who brought the champagne?
I found it
in the kitchen. Hmm?
Then let's consider it
a gift of the lodge.
Anyone care for a glass?
I thought I heard
a champagne cork pop.
What's the occasion?
Getting
out of here.
Oh, well, allow me.
Ahem.
Oh, look at this.
Excellent vintage.
Somebody around here
seems to have
some taste.
Let's not forget
the kid here.
Oh. Whoops.
Look, I haven't
even had a sip yet
and already
I'm slopping it
all over the floor.
Uh, well, uh, I for one
propose a toast.
To getting
off the island.
BRISCO:
There we are.
Cheers.
Here, here.
Ahh. I needed that.
Here's mud
in your eye.
You, uh, drinking,
Furlong?
Yes, of course.
Uh, so, Rosalind,
uh, what about you?
Champagne
was your idea,
and you haven't
even had a taste.
Why am I getting
the suspicious treatment
all of a sudden?
Maybe it has
something to do
with what we found
in your room.
You were in my room?
A secret passageway
led there.
What were we
supposed to do?
What passage?
We saw the list
on your desk.
No, you've got
it all wrong.
Then why don't you
tell us what's right.
Alright, I will.
I hired Hayes,
and, yes, it was me
who brought all
the bounty hunters
here,
but I didn't
kill anyone.
Then who did?
I don't know!
I made that list
to try and solve
the mystery,
but I didn't
get very far!
Relax, Rosalind.
Why don't you
have a drink?
What is this--
some kind of a test?
Fine. I'll drink.
Happy now?
Well, then
why did you bring
everybody together?
Because John Bly
killed my father,
and I wanted him
caught.
I knew none of you
would come here on
a woman's request.
That's why
I hired Hayes.
My father was
a federal judge.
Bly killed him
3 years ago
to intimidate
other judges
into not
issuing warrants
against him.
I've spent my entire
inheritance
searching for Bly...
the last of it
on this conference.
I had hoped
if you all
got together and
shared your ideas,
you'd have
a better chance of
bringing Bly down.
[MOANING]
I feel a little
light-headed.
Ain't nobody left,
so who's the killer?
He hasn't
shown himself yet.
Huh?
I guess I haven't
had champagne
in a long time.
[GASPS]
What's going on?
Ha ha ha!
You know,
you're kind of cute,
Bowler.
Ha ha ha ha! Ah.
[THUMP]
Now what?
Pass out and
see what happens.
I hate this.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Mmm. Ahh.
Uhh.
Ohh.
Uhh.
Uhh.
Uhh.
Ya!
Ha!
Okay, Bowler,
let's find out who
the masked man is.
Ooh!
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Ho!
Hey, Bowler,
are you okay?
Say something.
D-d-d-d-damn!
Hyah! Come on, boy!
[GUNSHOTS]
Hyah!
[CLICK CLICK]
Okay, partner!
Come on!
Who is it?
Let's find out.
Sam?
He's dead!
You dead!
I'm confused.
It wasn't him
in the tub.
Just some skeleton
he packed away
for the occasion.
What occasion?
The chance to wipe out
the competition.
I've been
a bounty hunter
longer than
you've been in boots.
You kids think
you can just come in here
and take my job?
Take my livelihood?
We were
your colleagues, Sam.
I don't need
any colleagues!
When I was invited
to this convention,
I realized that
divine providence
offered me an opportunity
to clean house!
Now, Sam, mentally,
I think you've thrown a shoe.
Crazy, huh?
Take me in.
Take my job.
I don't care.
Sorry, Sam.
Take my job!
I don't care!
You're welcome to it...
all of it.
Something to
look forward to
in our old age, huh?
Not a bad bit
of foxing, really.
Well, everybody
helped.
We all
just passed out.
Convincingly.
Yes.
Well, that boat isn't
going to wait forever.
Shall we?
I'll catch up.
So, Rosalind, uh...
sorry about
the weekend.
I guess things
didn't exactly
work out
how you expected.
Believe me,
I'm happy to be alive.
Oh, uh, I'll keep
you posted on Bly.
Thank you, Mr. County.
Thanks for saving
all our hides.
Coop.
Boat's leaving.
You coming?
Already, huh?
Time flies.
So, where we
off to now, boss?
I know, I know,
You got to get
used to the idea.
It's okay.
I'll see you
soon enough.
You think so?
I wouldn't have
said so if I didn't.
Ready to roll?
I'm ready.
It's a shame things
didn't work out
the way
Rosalind wanted.
Bounty hunters
getting together,
exchanging ideas.
It could have been
very productive.
It's a stupid idea.
Yeah, but a convention
isn't a bad idea.
You just need
the right group
of people.
Dentists!
Dentists!
[ALL LAUGH]