The A-Team (1983–1987): Season 2, Episode 5 - When You Comin' Back, Range Rider?: Part 1 - full transcript
A young native American enlists the aid of the A-Team in saving a herd of wild mustangs which are being rounded up by a rancher named Carter who is shipping them into Mexico for slaughter despite their protected status. After agreeing to help out, Hannibal and the unit arrive in Arizona and accost Carter's henchmen. Meanwhile, the Army dispatches maverick Col. Roderick Decker to round up the A-Team in the wake of Lynch's failure. Decker turns out to be an overzealous go-getter and will stop at nothing to apprehend the fugitive soldiers-for-hire.
In 1972, a crack commando unit
was sent to prison by a military court...
for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped
from a maximum security stockade...
to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government,
they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...
and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire the A-Team.
All right, head them up over there.
This load of glue ain't getting away.
Get them!
It's that crazy Indian!
- Stay on him.
- That Indian's nuts, Stryker.
He's also gonna be dead.
Get closer.
Chief, you're gonna be real sorry.
Bus?
Bus?
- Carter.
- This is Stryker. Herd got away.
You radioed before
you was chasing them into the valley.
- How'd they get out?
- It was that Indian again.
- You let him get away again, too?
- No, sir. Not this time.
You send him back to his reservation
in a basket, you hear?
These men have been wanted
for over 10 years.
You know, all in all...
they've made a fine bunch of jackasses
out of all of us...
and I want it to stop now.
I want you to bring the A-Team in.
You were the best troubleshooter
the past two wars.
Until extreme political pressures
knocked the hat off my career...
and any possibility of furthering my rank.
It seems the very methods
that made me an embarrassment...
and shuffled me off to the side...
are the exact reasons I'm being considered
the best man for this job.
- I'm not saying...
- We know what you're saying...
so let's don't dance around the floor once.
Everybody heard the reports from 'Nam
on these guys. They were the best.
Because they're fast, sharp and unorthodox.
The way to catch men like this
is to play by their rules.
Which means there are none.
What I'm interested in, Colonel, is results.
I don't expect detailed reports on the whats,
hows or whens of their apprehension.
I just want to know that it's done.
You erase the blot
from our records and I'll be very pleased.
Which means that others
will be very pleased.
Do what you have to do.
Get me the A-Team.
Yes, sir.
- Morning.
- Yeah, morning.
Are you the only hot dog vendor
here in the park?
Do you see any other hot dog vendors?
- No.
- Well, you won't.
I got a contract with the city.
Could I have a hot dog, please?
You kidding? You mean a lukewarm dog.
- I just fired her up.
- Well, that's fine, whatever.
There's a coffee shop across the street,
got hot food, got good breakfast rolls, too.
No. I'd like a hot dog.
I never heard of anybody...
eating hot dogs at 11:00.
- What?
- I said...
I never heard of anybody
eating hot dogs at 11:00.
Then why do you open up at 11:00?
I don't open up, son.
I fire up at 11:00.
The dogs are ready by noon.
Then I'm ready for the lunch crowd.
I work from noon to 4:00.
I've been doing that for about 28 years.
I'm a well established firm around here.
Well, that's great.
Then maybe you know Mr. Lee.
- Who?
- Mr. Lee.
He owns the Chinese laundry
up over on Sixth Street.
- A Chinaman?
- Yes.
Never heard of him.
He told me to come on down here
to buy a hot dog.
I wish he'd told me.
'Cause I'd have told him
to tell you not to come till noon.
See, I fire up at 11:00,
but the dogs aren't ready till noon.
I guess you don't know.
Sorry I bothered you.
You forgot your dog.
- That's okay...
- No. I can't take it back.
It's a health law.
And we don't want to throw it away.
There are people out there starving
who would just love a cold hot dog.
- I guess you're right.
- That's 75 cents.
- Keep the change.
- Thank you very much.
I'm telling you, Boobie,
we shoot all three pictures at once.
That way we get the two sequels
in the can while we're shooting the first one.
- And if the first one opens big...
- I hear you, Mick.
But, believe me, we're talking
major box office business here.
Gretel, babe,
you've met the Mick, haven't you?
I'm real happy the Jer could fly you over
for the premiere.
It's going to be a big night.
Everyone who's anyone is here.
The screening is scheduled
to start in 15 minutes, Colonel.
Let's get ready to move.
He'll have too much advantage
in a darkened theatre.
Are the men inside ready?
- Yes, sir.
- Let's do it.
...first eight or nine weeks,
$30 million. You take that and reinvest it.
You can get four or five more pictures
going. I talked to a guy at MGM...
Mr. Johnson,
there's a telephone call for you.
For me? Take a message.
You wouldn't want these people
to know...
that you're really Templeton Peck
of the A-Team, would you?
Follow me.
Excuse me. Overseas. Could be that spot
in Cannes I was hoping for.
Gretel, babe, keep the Mick company.
The Jer'll be back in a second.
What a guy.
Here.
Hannibal, what is this? What's going on?
That's my line. I'm meeting a client tonight
in case you'd like to know.
B.A. hasn't been able to reach you
since yesterday.
He should've left a message
at the Beverly Hills office.
I didn't know we had one.
And what is this?
Bad picture. Look at...
They must've caught me
leaving La Serre on Thursday.
You'd think they'd hire
a professional photographer...
- for a front page picture.
- Did you know you've lost your drive wheel?
- I mean, what do you think you're doing?
- I've decided to produce.
- Miracle Films.
- "If it's a good film, it's a Miracle."
- Catchy, huh?
- You're nuts.
Now, who did you scam
to spring for this little extravaganza?
No, that's just it, Hannibal.
In Hollywood, when you get someone else
to pay the freight...
you're not scamming, you're producing.
There's tons of guys who don't know
what to do with their money...
just dying to get into showbiz.
The glamour, the broads, the parties.
I've waited 20 years for someone
to throw a party like this for me.
- How do you do it?
- See...
I needed a showpiece,
so I scrambled around...
looking for any piece of junk
I could get my hands on.
And I come across
this little number for $10,000...
made by a couple of film students.
So, I dub it in German
then I subtitle it back into English...
and tell everyone
I brought it from overseas.
The critics see that, and right away...
you're looking down
the business end of a good review.
Yeah, but Wine For Breakfast?
Yeah, that's just one of the little touches.
You give it a lousy title and tell everyone
it doesn't translate well from the original.
Forget that.
I want you to read a script.
It's gonna be my first stateside production.
The Beast of the Yellow Night.
And guess who'll play
the beast of the title role?
I'm telling you, by the time I'm done...
they're gonna put your claw prints
out front in the cement.
And they're gonna put you behind bars.
Come on, Hannibal...
you don't think Col. Lynch reads
the film business trades, do you?
- Face...
- No, relax.
Why don't you come on up
and meet some of the guys?
I have to meet a client.
I already ran him by Mr. Lee
and the hot dog vendor...
and I'm gonna snap him up
and take the case.
I came to tell you to meet B.A.
at the hospital and spring Murdock.
Amy's gonna meet us at the warehouse.
- No, not tonight.
- It must be tonight.
I got a few guys
I'm gonna turn for a few million.
I can't just douse the house lights...
and give them a box of popcorn
to remember me by.
- What?
- You're not George Lucas.
No, you're not. Now we need the job.
This guy, Daniel Running Bear,
needs our help.
Go get Murdock.
And keep your head down. I've got a feeling
Lynch is outside this minute.
Military police! Everybody down!
Give it up, Peck!
- You'll call me?
- Yeah, the first chance I get.
Hurry up, get after him!
The one who catches him keeps his rank.
Mr. Johnson's looking for you.
I've been right here.
Well, you should be back there.
There's a real fender bender in the lot.
Somebody ought to tell this guy.
He's got a shimmy at 85.
You want me to get that?
I'm fine.
Hang on.
They'll never catch us.
Who in the world is this guy?
It sure isn't Lynch.
I don't know.
But it's gonna be fun finding out.
- I'm sorry. What?
- Nothing.
Wait a minute, you okay?
Fine, yeah. You got a problem?
No, I just thought maybe you were hungry.
Here... My wallet!
Wait a minute!
You got a problem here?
I could have given you a couple of bucks.
No, Officer.
Yeah? Well, let's see some ID.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, you both better
get in the car. We'll kick this around.
Do we have to do this, Officer?
There's nothing really happening here.
Get in the car.
- Wait a minute! What about him?
- Get in.
- What's going on here?
- Now...
Daniel Running Bear...
what are you doing in Los Angeles?
I came here to meet some people.
The A-Team?
- I'm Hannibal Smith.
- Hannibal Smith?
- Yeah.
- This has all been pretty weird.
Yeah, I know.
But it gets slower from here on.
I hope so, because I don't think
I could handle another crazy scene.
And so, the Range Rider defeats
the Black Rock gang...
in another daring shootout.
Once again
making the plains safe...
for all who dare brave the untamed west.
No matter race nor creed...
the Range Rider stands
for truth and justice for all.
It's all right, girl.
I must have been wrong.
The Black Rock gang
has lured us into this cave...
and then they've pushed a boulder
in front of the opening.
But there has to be
another way out.
How about right here through this window?
Lucky you showed up
with a flashlight.
There's a blackout
at the building.
That's because
B.A. is jumping the master circuit...
so the alarm wouldn't go off.
Murdock, what are you wearing?
I guess my secret's out.
You've discovered my alter ego.
You're not Professor Nutty Butty again,
are you?
- Rex the Wonder Dog?
- No.
It's just that when you phoned...
you said we were going up
against some horse rustlers.
Who better to defeat them
than the mysterious lawman of the plains...
the Range Rider.
You got me there. Now come on, Murdock.
I told B.A. to turn on the juice
in about 10 minutes.
Any longer than that
and they'll start a room check.
Nighty-night, Murdock.
Thunder, girl.
No, Thunder's not who I think she is?
Whoa, girl.
I don't know, Murdock...
you know how B.A. feels about
having Billy in his van, and he's just a dog.
The Range Rider would
sooner face a dozen bandits...
without his six-shooters...
than not have Thunder at his side.
No man is tall enough
to come between me and my trusty steed.
Come, girl.
Sucker, you better not be talking
to no invisible animals.
- Here we go again.
- Come on.
- Thanks.
- Sure.
Once again,
the faithful rider of the range...
is off on another great adventure.
Murdock, in case someone spots us...
we don't want them to recognise you
and blow the alarm.
Good idea, Kemosabe.
That's B.A. Baracus's van.
Yeah, it pulled up while you were inside...
so I slipped out and attached a homer to it.
Good move, Sergeant.
Murdock's still in his room.
I guess they still visit him on occasion.
They were part of the same unit.
Any sign of Smith?
Couldn't see, too dark.
But I figured
they'd lead us right to the good Colonel.
- Anybody follow you?
- No, I was real careful.
Col. Decker, I think we've got the A-Team.
You must be
Chief Running Bear...
who has summoned help
to save them wild horses...
from being slaughtered by rustlers.
This keeps getting better.
First you take me
off Hollywood Boulevard dressed as a cop...
and now the Range Rider shows up.
You know the Range Rider?
A full-blooded American Indian
living on the open plains of Arizona...
where the Range Rider
dispenses his justice?
Naturally, he's heard of me.
I used to catch the Saturday morning reruns
when I was at UCLA.
- Mr. Running Bear.
- Daniel.
Daniel, there is a federal bureau
that watches over wild mustangs.
Yes, but like any other branch
of the government...
too much to govern, too few people to do it.
There are thousands of wild horses
spread over the United States.
And every one of them is protected by law.
Yes. But when someone like Bus Carter
breaks the law...
it's very hard to press charges.
The largest land-owner.
And his standing
with the local Cattlemen's Association...
makes him a very influential man
in the county.
He also plays dirty.
To be perfectly honest with you...
I've had most of my wardrobe
made for the year...
and I don't have anything
to go with one of those.
So I'm afraid I'll have to return this money
you gave us.
Face.
Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell Mr. Lee
I didn't have enough to cover your fee.
No, you're not.
You're right.
I had to meet you to convince you
how important this really is.
We've had it happen to us before,
haven't we, Amy?
I don't think it ever hurts
to listen to anyone's troubles.
We're always working for chump change.
This time,
we're trying to save a bunch of horses.
But these horses have been there
for as long as my people can remember.
They're a part of the land, a part of my tribe.
Surely you can appreciate the importance
of one's heritage and traditions.
I will raise the money eventually.
Look, all I ask is that you come down
and take a look.
See for yourselves.
If that doesn't convince you...
then I understand.
I guess anybody who's crazy enough
to take on three jeeploads...
of armed rustlers on horseback by himself,
deserves special consideration.
We're still working for almost nothing again.
Once again...
the mysterious Range Rider
sets out on another thrilling adventure...
with his trusty steed, Thunder, who...
Who will remain behind just this one time.
Well, guys, shall we saddle up?
This is Col. Decker
of the U.S. Army.
You are completely surrounded.
No kidding?
Col. Decker, did you hear that?
You know this guy?
Everyone in Vietnam knew him.
He always got the job done
under any circumstances...
and he never lost any sleep
over how he did it.
Yeah, Hannibal and this guy mixed it up
once in the DOOM Club.
The DOOM Club?
The Da Nang Officers' Open Mess.
You didn't like the way
he sugared his coffee?
No. I didn't like the way he blew up
Cong hospitals like a favorite sport.
Give yourself up...
or I'll flush the whole building
and everyone inside right in the sewer.
- Is he kidding?
- Sounds like he's crazy!
- Decker is crazy.
- Maybe I should go out and talk to him.
You want me to start blasting, Smith?
- Well, Hannibal?
- I'm thinking.
Think faster, man!
Hey, Decker, this is Smith.
You ought to cool out.
What if we have an innocent person in here?
Who might that be? Amy Allen?
I'd hardly call her innocent.
Okay, look...
No talk. You come out or we come in.
And you're not gonna like it if we come in.
I'm giving you two minutes.
Don't you love it?
No matter how smart they think they are,
they always screw up somehow.
Let's get the weapons
out of the van.
What are we gonna do in two minutes?
You heard the man.
We're going out the front door.
It's obvious they really have no choice.
With anyone but Col. Hannibal Smith.
With him, nothing is obvious.
What can he do?
We'll find out in about 40 seconds.
Looks like you stopped the A-Team
once and for all.
- What about Hannibal?
- He'll be all right.
Get those civilians back!
Keep them out of the way!
All right, show's over. Go back to work.
Come on, move along.
- Hey, you got a light, pal?
- Sure.
- Keep them.
- Thanks, pal.
Beautiful Arizona.
Quiet, serene, the comatose state.
You ought to scout locations
for your next movie here.
That career sure went fast. Talk about
the sizzle and fizzle of Hollywood.
Move over, man. Give me room.
Will you take it easy?
You're gonna break my rib.
This fool won't gimme no room!
I didn't design this thing. Besides,
there ain't enough room for four of us.
Four of us. What do you mean?
Three of us, sucker! You got that?
You hear me, sucker? There's three
of us. No animal, no nothing. Got it?
Say three or he's gonna
bounce you down the hyphenated line.
Okay, three!
Will you guys knock it off?
On my reporter's salary,
I can't afford to buy a new car...
every time you guys get together in it.
It's a long ride,
and this is not the most comfortable car.
I'm comfortable.
We wouldn't be going through this,
if you didn't leave my van behind!
- You said you was gonna lose those MPs.
- I did.
But you didn't bring my van back.
I worked hard on them wheels, Hannibal.
I'm sure it'll turn up sooner or later.
It's empty.
We can drag the bay.
Don't waste the energy.
All of the bodies couldn't have washed out.
How did he do it?
He's Hannibal Smith.
That's how he does it.
It would have been easy for him to jump
clear of the van before it hit the water...
and then drift off with the rest of this crowd.
For a while,
I thought this was gonna be easy.
Anything on those prints we found
at the warehouse, that weren't Smith's?
Yeah. Daniel Running Bear. We had
his prints on file from the military.
He served from '66 to '68,
First Air Cav in Vietnam.
Get an address on this Running Bear.
He's a computer programmer in Arizona.
Lives on the Chequea Indian Reservation
where he was born.
Let's pay Mr. Running Bear a little visit...
find out what his story is.
I was out here one night
when I first saw Carter's men...
rounding up the horses.
Where they corral them I have no idea.
But then again,
Carter has over 250,000 acres.
He can't sit on those mustangs for long.
You say he ships them by rail?
Those railroad tracks that we passed
coming out of town? That's his line.
He's got locomotives and boxcars
which he uses to move out his cattle.
I'm sure he takes the horses
down to a slaughter-house in Mexico...
which is only a short run from here.
What about your people, brother?
How can they let this happen?
What about them?
They're people just like anybody else.
They make a living,
go about their business just like any others.
They're not gonna dig out the war paint...
and saddle up and
go against Carter's hacienda.
Besides, the Chequea
were never a warring tribe.
They were fishermen who migrated south
during the war of 1864.
No kidding?
- Heck of a way to fish.
- Let me see that.
Be my guest. Any more come this way,
you can have them, too.
Chequea.
- The Chequea were a...
- What?
A warring tribe.
- Wait! Don't hurt him.
- It's a kid.
Shelly, it's me!
Daniel, I thought
you were still in Los Angeles.
I just came back.
This is my nephew, Shelly.
How do you do?
I believe this belongs to you.
What's wrong with you, kid?
Firing these arrows at people.
Don't you know they're dangerous?
They could hurt somebody real bad.
Couldn't you find better toys to play with?
Not exactly great
for 100% worsted cotton either, kid.
I don't hit anything unless I want to.
I happen to be county champion.
I was just trying to scare you off.
Thought you were
Bus Carter's men.
- They came out here with me to help.
- Yeah?
You're gonna help us trash Carter
and his men?
Trash Carter?
Shelly and Daniel Running Bear.
Wonder what Sitting Bull would think.
I don't know how the rest of you feel...
but I wouldn't sleep well tonight...
knowing those animals there are gonna
wind up as the sticky side of a stamp.
He does it every time.
Does that mean you'll help?
You'll stop Carter?
- We're gonna try.
- That means we will.
Whenever Hannibal says that,
means he's got a plan.
I'm gonna go out
to the reservation with Daniel.
You know, just dig up some background,
talk to some of the elders.
Maybe there's a human interest story
in all this.
Yeah, it looks like there sure could be.
We'll check into a motel.
There's a couple of more things
I wanna get our hands on.
- We'll leave word where we are at the store.
- Okay.
It's right over here, Miss Carter.
We shouldn't be taking too much longer
getting these things loaded.
I sure hope you don't mind.
I know it was a long flight, but this was
on the way back from the airport.
No problem.
Your uncle is real anxious to see you.
- Would you move, please?
- "Please."
Looks like you did learn something
about how to act in front of people.
That's good, because the next time...
There's not gonna be no next time.
You've got that straight.
You're not stealing any more
of those horses.
Kid's got a crazy mouth on him,
chief.
Maybe somebody ought to teach him
to respect his elders.
Don't you think you've done
enough already?
This looks like a job for the Range Rider.
I'm gonna shut this fool up for good.
I think Murdock's right.
Really?
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
They'll never recognise us.
You look like a bunch of girls
waiting for a date at a square dance.
And just who the heck are you?
I'm the mysterious rider of the plains,
the Range Rider...
and these are my trusty companions.
Boys, looks like we found ourselves
some goofballs.
Use your knees more, honey.
Let up on the reins,
give the little neck more lead.
We're gonna move the horses over to
the corral at sundown so we can load them.
How many we got?
We got enough for two boxes
but we only got one empty car on the train.
Unless you just wanna not make
that delivery to McGivers.
No, I done already told him
he'd get his beef.
Just load up the one boxcar.
We'll ship the rest out this weekend.
What you gonna do
about these guys we told you about, Bus?
Who? That bunch of masked yahoos
riding around...
like a High Plains Drifter or somebody?
The Range Rider, Bus.
Cloud of dust, fiery horse...
They said we shouldn't be shipping
no more horses to the dog food company.
That so?
Thanks.
Uncle Bus, I'm through.
I kept Sentinel ready all year long
waiting for you to visit.
You only been riding about an hour.
I think I'm a little saddle sore.
Somehow, riding the horse trails
in San Francisco just isn't quite the same.
Honey, I keep telling you,
you gotta grip with your knees.
Keeps you from bouncing around
and hurting your...
...self.
I think I'll wash up for lunch now.
My niece is a good girl.
Young, idealistic.
But I'm afraid she might not understand
that them horses could wipe out in a week...
what would be a month's good grazing
for my cattle.
It bothers me a lot that she even might have
the slightest inkling of what we're doing.
I'm sorry, Bus,
but that Indian kid just shot his mouth off...
before I could do anything.
She thinks you're rounding up
them stray mustangs...
over to the reservation behind my back.
I told her I'd look into it.
I don't want no more dirt tracked
around here. You understand?
Yes, sir. And don't worry,
we'll find out who these crackerboxes are.
I got a couple men over at Lodi...
looking through the local places
where they might be staying.
If they're still around.
I got a feeling they are.
I figure it's that Indian.
And he's rounded himself up some help.
Only help I'm worried about him getting
is legal help.
On the other hand, if he's just hired himself
a couple of gunslingers...
we know how to handle that, don't we?
No.
No, I don't hear nothing.
Are you sure?
I don't hear nothing
but if you're positive that...
I'm warning you, I've had enough of you
talking to your invisible friend.
Does he look invisible? You can't see him?
Invisible or not, I don't want you
talking to nobody. Got that?
Well, I'm sorry,
but I'm not the one with the bad attitude.
When someone talks to me
I feel obliged to respond in kind.
It's a horse! And horses don't talk!
♪ A horse is a horse, ♪
♪ of course, of course ♪
♪ and no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪
♪ unless, of course ♪
♪ the horse is the famous Mr. Ed ♪
Murdock, any sign?
B.A., take your hand off Murdock's throat.
Yeah.
Ed says...
Ain't no train coming.
- Who's Ed?
- Guess?
Train coming, muchachos.
And I ain't telling you who told us.
was sent to prison by a military court...
for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped
from a maximum security stockade...
to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government,
they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...
and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire the A-Team.
All right, head them up over there.
This load of glue ain't getting away.
Get them!
It's that crazy Indian!
- Stay on him.
- That Indian's nuts, Stryker.
He's also gonna be dead.
Get closer.
Chief, you're gonna be real sorry.
Bus?
Bus?
- Carter.
- This is Stryker. Herd got away.
You radioed before
you was chasing them into the valley.
- How'd they get out?
- It was that Indian again.
- You let him get away again, too?
- No, sir. Not this time.
You send him back to his reservation
in a basket, you hear?
These men have been wanted
for over 10 years.
You know, all in all...
they've made a fine bunch of jackasses
out of all of us...
and I want it to stop now.
I want you to bring the A-Team in.
You were the best troubleshooter
the past two wars.
Until extreme political pressures
knocked the hat off my career...
and any possibility of furthering my rank.
It seems the very methods
that made me an embarrassment...
and shuffled me off to the side...
are the exact reasons I'm being considered
the best man for this job.
- I'm not saying...
- We know what you're saying...
so let's don't dance around the floor once.
Everybody heard the reports from 'Nam
on these guys. They were the best.
Because they're fast, sharp and unorthodox.
The way to catch men like this
is to play by their rules.
Which means there are none.
What I'm interested in, Colonel, is results.
I don't expect detailed reports on the whats,
hows or whens of their apprehension.
I just want to know that it's done.
You erase the blot
from our records and I'll be very pleased.
Which means that others
will be very pleased.
Do what you have to do.
Get me the A-Team.
Yes, sir.
- Morning.
- Yeah, morning.
Are you the only hot dog vendor
here in the park?
Do you see any other hot dog vendors?
- No.
- Well, you won't.
I got a contract with the city.
Could I have a hot dog, please?
You kidding? You mean a lukewarm dog.
- I just fired her up.
- Well, that's fine, whatever.
There's a coffee shop across the street,
got hot food, got good breakfast rolls, too.
No. I'd like a hot dog.
I never heard of anybody...
eating hot dogs at 11:00.
- What?
- I said...
I never heard of anybody
eating hot dogs at 11:00.
Then why do you open up at 11:00?
I don't open up, son.
I fire up at 11:00.
The dogs are ready by noon.
Then I'm ready for the lunch crowd.
I work from noon to 4:00.
I've been doing that for about 28 years.
I'm a well established firm around here.
Well, that's great.
Then maybe you know Mr. Lee.
- Who?
- Mr. Lee.
He owns the Chinese laundry
up over on Sixth Street.
- A Chinaman?
- Yes.
Never heard of him.
He told me to come on down here
to buy a hot dog.
I wish he'd told me.
'Cause I'd have told him
to tell you not to come till noon.
See, I fire up at 11:00,
but the dogs aren't ready till noon.
I guess you don't know.
Sorry I bothered you.
You forgot your dog.
- That's okay...
- No. I can't take it back.
It's a health law.
And we don't want to throw it away.
There are people out there starving
who would just love a cold hot dog.
- I guess you're right.
- That's 75 cents.
- Keep the change.
- Thank you very much.
I'm telling you, Boobie,
we shoot all three pictures at once.
That way we get the two sequels
in the can while we're shooting the first one.
- And if the first one opens big...
- I hear you, Mick.
But, believe me, we're talking
major box office business here.
Gretel, babe,
you've met the Mick, haven't you?
I'm real happy the Jer could fly you over
for the premiere.
It's going to be a big night.
Everyone who's anyone is here.
The screening is scheduled
to start in 15 minutes, Colonel.
Let's get ready to move.
He'll have too much advantage
in a darkened theatre.
Are the men inside ready?
- Yes, sir.
- Let's do it.
...first eight or nine weeks,
$30 million. You take that and reinvest it.
You can get four or five more pictures
going. I talked to a guy at MGM...
Mr. Johnson,
there's a telephone call for you.
For me? Take a message.
You wouldn't want these people
to know...
that you're really Templeton Peck
of the A-Team, would you?
Follow me.
Excuse me. Overseas. Could be that spot
in Cannes I was hoping for.
Gretel, babe, keep the Mick company.
The Jer'll be back in a second.
What a guy.
Here.
Hannibal, what is this? What's going on?
That's my line. I'm meeting a client tonight
in case you'd like to know.
B.A. hasn't been able to reach you
since yesterday.
He should've left a message
at the Beverly Hills office.
I didn't know we had one.
And what is this?
Bad picture. Look at...
They must've caught me
leaving La Serre on Thursday.
You'd think they'd hire
a professional photographer...
- for a front page picture.
- Did you know you've lost your drive wheel?
- I mean, what do you think you're doing?
- I've decided to produce.
- Miracle Films.
- "If it's a good film, it's a Miracle."
- Catchy, huh?
- You're nuts.
Now, who did you scam
to spring for this little extravaganza?
No, that's just it, Hannibal.
In Hollywood, when you get someone else
to pay the freight...
you're not scamming, you're producing.
There's tons of guys who don't know
what to do with their money...
just dying to get into showbiz.
The glamour, the broads, the parties.
I've waited 20 years for someone
to throw a party like this for me.
- How do you do it?
- See...
I needed a showpiece,
so I scrambled around...
looking for any piece of junk
I could get my hands on.
And I come across
this little number for $10,000...
made by a couple of film students.
So, I dub it in German
then I subtitle it back into English...
and tell everyone
I brought it from overseas.
The critics see that, and right away...
you're looking down
the business end of a good review.
Yeah, but Wine For Breakfast?
Yeah, that's just one of the little touches.
You give it a lousy title and tell everyone
it doesn't translate well from the original.
Forget that.
I want you to read a script.
It's gonna be my first stateside production.
The Beast of the Yellow Night.
And guess who'll play
the beast of the title role?
I'm telling you, by the time I'm done...
they're gonna put your claw prints
out front in the cement.
And they're gonna put you behind bars.
Come on, Hannibal...
you don't think Col. Lynch reads
the film business trades, do you?
- Face...
- No, relax.
Why don't you come on up
and meet some of the guys?
I have to meet a client.
I already ran him by Mr. Lee
and the hot dog vendor...
and I'm gonna snap him up
and take the case.
I came to tell you to meet B.A.
at the hospital and spring Murdock.
Amy's gonna meet us at the warehouse.
- No, not tonight.
- It must be tonight.
I got a few guys
I'm gonna turn for a few million.
I can't just douse the house lights...
and give them a box of popcorn
to remember me by.
- What?
- You're not George Lucas.
No, you're not. Now we need the job.
This guy, Daniel Running Bear,
needs our help.
Go get Murdock.
And keep your head down. I've got a feeling
Lynch is outside this minute.
Military police! Everybody down!
Give it up, Peck!
- You'll call me?
- Yeah, the first chance I get.
Hurry up, get after him!
The one who catches him keeps his rank.
Mr. Johnson's looking for you.
I've been right here.
Well, you should be back there.
There's a real fender bender in the lot.
Somebody ought to tell this guy.
He's got a shimmy at 85.
You want me to get that?
I'm fine.
Hang on.
They'll never catch us.
Who in the world is this guy?
It sure isn't Lynch.
I don't know.
But it's gonna be fun finding out.
- I'm sorry. What?
- Nothing.
Wait a minute, you okay?
Fine, yeah. You got a problem?
No, I just thought maybe you were hungry.
Here... My wallet!
Wait a minute!
You got a problem here?
I could have given you a couple of bucks.
No, Officer.
Yeah? Well, let's see some ID.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, you both better
get in the car. We'll kick this around.
Do we have to do this, Officer?
There's nothing really happening here.
Get in the car.
- Wait a minute! What about him?
- Get in.
- What's going on here?
- Now...
Daniel Running Bear...
what are you doing in Los Angeles?
I came here to meet some people.
The A-Team?
- I'm Hannibal Smith.
- Hannibal Smith?
- Yeah.
- This has all been pretty weird.
Yeah, I know.
But it gets slower from here on.
I hope so, because I don't think
I could handle another crazy scene.
And so, the Range Rider defeats
the Black Rock gang...
in another daring shootout.
Once again
making the plains safe...
for all who dare brave the untamed west.
No matter race nor creed...
the Range Rider stands
for truth and justice for all.
It's all right, girl.
I must have been wrong.
The Black Rock gang
has lured us into this cave...
and then they've pushed a boulder
in front of the opening.
But there has to be
another way out.
How about right here through this window?
Lucky you showed up
with a flashlight.
There's a blackout
at the building.
That's because
B.A. is jumping the master circuit...
so the alarm wouldn't go off.
Murdock, what are you wearing?
I guess my secret's out.
You've discovered my alter ego.
You're not Professor Nutty Butty again,
are you?
- Rex the Wonder Dog?
- No.
It's just that when you phoned...
you said we were going up
against some horse rustlers.
Who better to defeat them
than the mysterious lawman of the plains...
the Range Rider.
You got me there. Now come on, Murdock.
I told B.A. to turn on the juice
in about 10 minutes.
Any longer than that
and they'll start a room check.
Nighty-night, Murdock.
Thunder, girl.
No, Thunder's not who I think she is?
Whoa, girl.
I don't know, Murdock...
you know how B.A. feels about
having Billy in his van, and he's just a dog.
The Range Rider would
sooner face a dozen bandits...
without his six-shooters...
than not have Thunder at his side.
No man is tall enough
to come between me and my trusty steed.
Come, girl.
Sucker, you better not be talking
to no invisible animals.
- Here we go again.
- Come on.
- Thanks.
- Sure.
Once again,
the faithful rider of the range...
is off on another great adventure.
Murdock, in case someone spots us...
we don't want them to recognise you
and blow the alarm.
Good idea, Kemosabe.
That's B.A. Baracus's van.
Yeah, it pulled up while you were inside...
so I slipped out and attached a homer to it.
Good move, Sergeant.
Murdock's still in his room.
I guess they still visit him on occasion.
They were part of the same unit.
Any sign of Smith?
Couldn't see, too dark.
But I figured
they'd lead us right to the good Colonel.
- Anybody follow you?
- No, I was real careful.
Col. Decker, I think we've got the A-Team.
You must be
Chief Running Bear...
who has summoned help
to save them wild horses...
from being slaughtered by rustlers.
This keeps getting better.
First you take me
off Hollywood Boulevard dressed as a cop...
and now the Range Rider shows up.
You know the Range Rider?
A full-blooded American Indian
living on the open plains of Arizona...
where the Range Rider
dispenses his justice?
Naturally, he's heard of me.
I used to catch the Saturday morning reruns
when I was at UCLA.
- Mr. Running Bear.
- Daniel.
Daniel, there is a federal bureau
that watches over wild mustangs.
Yes, but like any other branch
of the government...
too much to govern, too few people to do it.
There are thousands of wild horses
spread over the United States.
And every one of them is protected by law.
Yes. But when someone like Bus Carter
breaks the law...
it's very hard to press charges.
The largest land-owner.
And his standing
with the local Cattlemen's Association...
makes him a very influential man
in the county.
He also plays dirty.
To be perfectly honest with you...
I've had most of my wardrobe
made for the year...
and I don't have anything
to go with one of those.
So I'm afraid I'll have to return this money
you gave us.
Face.
Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell Mr. Lee
I didn't have enough to cover your fee.
No, you're not.
You're right.
I had to meet you to convince you
how important this really is.
We've had it happen to us before,
haven't we, Amy?
I don't think it ever hurts
to listen to anyone's troubles.
We're always working for chump change.
This time,
we're trying to save a bunch of horses.
But these horses have been there
for as long as my people can remember.
They're a part of the land, a part of my tribe.
Surely you can appreciate the importance
of one's heritage and traditions.
I will raise the money eventually.
Look, all I ask is that you come down
and take a look.
See for yourselves.
If that doesn't convince you...
then I understand.
I guess anybody who's crazy enough
to take on three jeeploads...
of armed rustlers on horseback by himself,
deserves special consideration.
We're still working for almost nothing again.
Once again...
the mysterious Range Rider
sets out on another thrilling adventure...
with his trusty steed, Thunder, who...
Who will remain behind just this one time.
Well, guys, shall we saddle up?
This is Col. Decker
of the U.S. Army.
You are completely surrounded.
No kidding?
Col. Decker, did you hear that?
You know this guy?
Everyone in Vietnam knew him.
He always got the job done
under any circumstances...
and he never lost any sleep
over how he did it.
Yeah, Hannibal and this guy mixed it up
once in the DOOM Club.
The DOOM Club?
The Da Nang Officers' Open Mess.
You didn't like the way
he sugared his coffee?
No. I didn't like the way he blew up
Cong hospitals like a favorite sport.
Give yourself up...
or I'll flush the whole building
and everyone inside right in the sewer.
- Is he kidding?
- Sounds like he's crazy!
- Decker is crazy.
- Maybe I should go out and talk to him.
You want me to start blasting, Smith?
- Well, Hannibal?
- I'm thinking.
Think faster, man!
Hey, Decker, this is Smith.
You ought to cool out.
What if we have an innocent person in here?
Who might that be? Amy Allen?
I'd hardly call her innocent.
Okay, look...
No talk. You come out or we come in.
And you're not gonna like it if we come in.
I'm giving you two minutes.
Don't you love it?
No matter how smart they think they are,
they always screw up somehow.
Let's get the weapons
out of the van.
What are we gonna do in two minutes?
You heard the man.
We're going out the front door.
It's obvious they really have no choice.
With anyone but Col. Hannibal Smith.
With him, nothing is obvious.
What can he do?
We'll find out in about 40 seconds.
Looks like you stopped the A-Team
once and for all.
- What about Hannibal?
- He'll be all right.
Get those civilians back!
Keep them out of the way!
All right, show's over. Go back to work.
Come on, move along.
- Hey, you got a light, pal?
- Sure.
- Keep them.
- Thanks, pal.
Beautiful Arizona.
Quiet, serene, the comatose state.
You ought to scout locations
for your next movie here.
That career sure went fast. Talk about
the sizzle and fizzle of Hollywood.
Move over, man. Give me room.
Will you take it easy?
You're gonna break my rib.
This fool won't gimme no room!
I didn't design this thing. Besides,
there ain't enough room for four of us.
Four of us. What do you mean?
Three of us, sucker! You got that?
You hear me, sucker? There's three
of us. No animal, no nothing. Got it?
Say three or he's gonna
bounce you down the hyphenated line.
Okay, three!
Will you guys knock it off?
On my reporter's salary,
I can't afford to buy a new car...
every time you guys get together in it.
It's a long ride,
and this is not the most comfortable car.
I'm comfortable.
We wouldn't be going through this,
if you didn't leave my van behind!
- You said you was gonna lose those MPs.
- I did.
But you didn't bring my van back.
I worked hard on them wheels, Hannibal.
I'm sure it'll turn up sooner or later.
It's empty.
We can drag the bay.
Don't waste the energy.
All of the bodies couldn't have washed out.
How did he do it?
He's Hannibal Smith.
That's how he does it.
It would have been easy for him to jump
clear of the van before it hit the water...
and then drift off with the rest of this crowd.
For a while,
I thought this was gonna be easy.
Anything on those prints we found
at the warehouse, that weren't Smith's?
Yeah. Daniel Running Bear. We had
his prints on file from the military.
He served from '66 to '68,
First Air Cav in Vietnam.
Get an address on this Running Bear.
He's a computer programmer in Arizona.
Lives on the Chequea Indian Reservation
where he was born.
Let's pay Mr. Running Bear a little visit...
find out what his story is.
I was out here one night
when I first saw Carter's men...
rounding up the horses.
Where they corral them I have no idea.
But then again,
Carter has over 250,000 acres.
He can't sit on those mustangs for long.
You say he ships them by rail?
Those railroad tracks that we passed
coming out of town? That's his line.
He's got locomotives and boxcars
which he uses to move out his cattle.
I'm sure he takes the horses
down to a slaughter-house in Mexico...
which is only a short run from here.
What about your people, brother?
How can they let this happen?
What about them?
They're people just like anybody else.
They make a living,
go about their business just like any others.
They're not gonna dig out the war paint...
and saddle up and
go against Carter's hacienda.
Besides, the Chequea
were never a warring tribe.
They were fishermen who migrated south
during the war of 1864.
No kidding?
- Heck of a way to fish.
- Let me see that.
Be my guest. Any more come this way,
you can have them, too.
Chequea.
- The Chequea were a...
- What?
A warring tribe.
- Wait! Don't hurt him.
- It's a kid.
Shelly, it's me!
Daniel, I thought
you were still in Los Angeles.
I just came back.
This is my nephew, Shelly.
How do you do?
I believe this belongs to you.
What's wrong with you, kid?
Firing these arrows at people.
Don't you know they're dangerous?
They could hurt somebody real bad.
Couldn't you find better toys to play with?
Not exactly great
for 100% worsted cotton either, kid.
I don't hit anything unless I want to.
I happen to be county champion.
I was just trying to scare you off.
Thought you were
Bus Carter's men.
- They came out here with me to help.
- Yeah?
You're gonna help us trash Carter
and his men?
Trash Carter?
Shelly and Daniel Running Bear.
Wonder what Sitting Bull would think.
I don't know how the rest of you feel...
but I wouldn't sleep well tonight...
knowing those animals there are gonna
wind up as the sticky side of a stamp.
He does it every time.
Does that mean you'll help?
You'll stop Carter?
- We're gonna try.
- That means we will.
Whenever Hannibal says that,
means he's got a plan.
I'm gonna go out
to the reservation with Daniel.
You know, just dig up some background,
talk to some of the elders.
Maybe there's a human interest story
in all this.
Yeah, it looks like there sure could be.
We'll check into a motel.
There's a couple of more things
I wanna get our hands on.
- We'll leave word where we are at the store.
- Okay.
It's right over here, Miss Carter.
We shouldn't be taking too much longer
getting these things loaded.
I sure hope you don't mind.
I know it was a long flight, but this was
on the way back from the airport.
No problem.
Your uncle is real anxious to see you.
- Would you move, please?
- "Please."
Looks like you did learn something
about how to act in front of people.
That's good, because the next time...
There's not gonna be no next time.
You've got that straight.
You're not stealing any more
of those horses.
Kid's got a crazy mouth on him,
chief.
Maybe somebody ought to teach him
to respect his elders.
Don't you think you've done
enough already?
This looks like a job for the Range Rider.
I'm gonna shut this fool up for good.
I think Murdock's right.
Really?
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
They'll never recognise us.
You look like a bunch of girls
waiting for a date at a square dance.
And just who the heck are you?
I'm the mysterious rider of the plains,
the Range Rider...
and these are my trusty companions.
Boys, looks like we found ourselves
some goofballs.
Use your knees more, honey.
Let up on the reins,
give the little neck more lead.
We're gonna move the horses over to
the corral at sundown so we can load them.
How many we got?
We got enough for two boxes
but we only got one empty car on the train.
Unless you just wanna not make
that delivery to McGivers.
No, I done already told him
he'd get his beef.
Just load up the one boxcar.
We'll ship the rest out this weekend.
What you gonna do
about these guys we told you about, Bus?
Who? That bunch of masked yahoos
riding around...
like a High Plains Drifter or somebody?
The Range Rider, Bus.
Cloud of dust, fiery horse...
They said we shouldn't be shipping
no more horses to the dog food company.
That so?
Thanks.
Uncle Bus, I'm through.
I kept Sentinel ready all year long
waiting for you to visit.
You only been riding about an hour.
I think I'm a little saddle sore.
Somehow, riding the horse trails
in San Francisco just isn't quite the same.
Honey, I keep telling you,
you gotta grip with your knees.
Keeps you from bouncing around
and hurting your...
...self.
I think I'll wash up for lunch now.
My niece is a good girl.
Young, idealistic.
But I'm afraid she might not understand
that them horses could wipe out in a week...
what would be a month's good grazing
for my cattle.
It bothers me a lot that she even might have
the slightest inkling of what we're doing.
I'm sorry, Bus,
but that Indian kid just shot his mouth off...
before I could do anything.
She thinks you're rounding up
them stray mustangs...
over to the reservation behind my back.
I told her I'd look into it.
I don't want no more dirt tracked
around here. You understand?
Yes, sir. And don't worry,
we'll find out who these crackerboxes are.
I got a couple men over at Lodi...
looking through the local places
where they might be staying.
If they're still around.
I got a feeling they are.
I figure it's that Indian.
And he's rounded himself up some help.
Only help I'm worried about him getting
is legal help.
On the other hand, if he's just hired himself
a couple of gunslingers...
we know how to handle that, don't we?
No.
No, I don't hear nothing.
Are you sure?
I don't hear nothing
but if you're positive that...
I'm warning you, I've had enough of you
talking to your invisible friend.
Does he look invisible? You can't see him?
Invisible or not, I don't want you
talking to nobody. Got that?
Well, I'm sorry,
but I'm not the one with the bad attitude.
When someone talks to me
I feel obliged to respond in kind.
It's a horse! And horses don't talk!
♪ A horse is a horse, ♪
♪ of course, of course ♪
♪ and no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪
♪ unless, of course ♪
♪ the horse is the famous Mr. Ed ♪
Murdock, any sign?
B.A., take your hand off Murdock's throat.
Yeah.
Ed says...
Ain't no train coming.
- Who's Ed?
- Guess?
Train coming, muchachos.
And I ain't telling you who told us.