The A-Team (1983–1987): Season 1, Episode 13 - A Nice Place to Visit - full transcript

Get outta here! Get outta here!

You either clear us for immediate take-off,
or we starting shooting the passengers.

What about that group
you knew from Vietnam?

What'd you call them... the A-Team.

When I talk that jet in,
stall the refuelling till we get aboard.

I ain't flyin' with that crazy fool

- Take it easy!
- We are in a plane!

What's going on here?

It's Murdock.

B.A., don't shoot!

We gonna crash!
We gonna crash!



Face, get him off me!
Get him off me!

Send him into the ocean.

You can't do that!

Are you ready?

Here we go.

Ten years ago, a crack commando unit
was sent to prison by a military court...

for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security
stockade to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government,
they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else
can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire... the A-Team.

Hey! Keep 'em open!

What do we got here?
Idiots?

It's a go.



Final call for Beller
Flight 2-6-7, now boarding at Gate Six.

- We a go?
- Yeah, yeah. Everything's working out.

- You got the parachutes?
- Yeah, yeah. You seen Jackson?

You won't see him till you get on board.
Relax, now, will ya, bro?

Let's go.

That's on your right.

That's on your left, sir.

That's to your right. To your left, sir.

Welcome aboard, Private.
On leave?

- Yeah. It's my first one.
- Well, I hope you enjoy your flight.

I will.

All right, everybody stay calm,
or this lady's gonna get it!

Go on!
Get outta here! Now!

Get those passengers
in here right now!

Move! Move!
In, in, in, in, in! Move!

Come on! Bring her in!

This is a freedom fighter
from the United People's Resistance.

We have just commandeered
Beller Flight 2-6-7...

and demand permission
for immediate take-off on runway 2-4.

This is Beller Flight 2-6-7.
Priority clearance requested.

Permission for take-off
denied. Stand by.

Beller 2-6-7 has been commandeered
by the United People's Resistance.

You either clear us for immediate take-off,
or we starting shooting the passengers.

As soon as you contact
Mr. Beller, put the call right through.

As soon as they gave us their demands,
they cut off radio contact.

Have we been able to
reach Mr. Beller yet?

No, he's still fishing
off the coast of Greece somewhere.

Then we're out of options.
We must call in the F.B.I.

- You heard what they said. Call in the feds, and they'll start killing the passengers.
- Calm down!

You read the printout on Jackson. The F.B.I. thinks he pulled
that Brinks job in Jersey last year. The guy's a nut job.

Now he wants $5 million in cash.

Plus guaranteed passage to Libya.

I say we give it to him. The replacement
cost on the jet alone is $50 million.

- Plus all the bad publicity we'll get out of this.
- We can't.

Not without Beller's okay.

Meanwhile, we can't
just sit on our hands.

What about those guys
you told me about... the A-Team?

I put out the word.

I've got some contacts in some Vietnam veteran
activist groups, but so far it's a dead end.

I think they're
probably just a rumor.

- Got an order from Sam's Deli. Got a bacon and cheese...
- That's mine.

There you go, pal.

Oh! Right. And a tomato and turkey.
That's yours, sir.

- Black coffee here.
- Coffee, black, for you, sir. Yes, sir.

- Black coffee here.
- Black coffee right there.

And there's coffee with cream.
Here's your cream, sir. Thank you.

Sorry about that.

What's the matter with you?
For cryin' out loud!

We got some soda here.
You owe me $16.18.

And I don't mind havin' a tip either,
pal. See ya later.

Just a minute, mister!

Got some soda here.
Great for stains.

Stay away from me.
I don't want your help!

- I thought you wanted to hire the A-Team.
- This is crazy.

No, it isn't.

Yes, it is!

It's crazy.
It's very crazy.

I'm crazy.

You wanna see
how crazy I am, Doc?

Don't be silly, pal. You're taking a fall.

When a man's partner is killed,
he's supposed to do something about it.

It's bad business to let a killer
get away with it... bad all around.

Bad for detectives everywhere.

You see? I'm bananas, Doc.

Murdock, you've been
institutionalized for 10 years.

It's only natural you don't
want to be released. It's scary.

But I can assure you that I would not
release you from this hospital...

unless I was absolutely certain
that you are just as sane as I am.

G- Get down, Billy! Back! Back!

I'd get outta here if I was you.
I don't know how long I can hold him off.

Don't worry. We'll take
good care of your dog, Billy.

I don't get it!

I mean... No, ma'am,
I don't wanna eat my squash.

Oh, this is horrible.

This is just horrible.

I see a giant fish
eating the White House.

That's a cute bit, Murdock.

But, listen, why don't you
try reality for a while, huh?

You're makin' a grave mistake,
General.

Those tanks are up to their turrets
in mud. We gotta surrender...

Come in for group anytime you have any
difficulty getting over the rough spots.

Rough spots? I'm talkin' about
a major breakdown here... Doc!

Oh, Murdock, Murdock.

Ohh!

You'll be fine, son.

Don't give away my room, Doc.

I think we're giving
this one away, Hannibal.

One percent of the ransom
comes to 50 grand.

Our expenses have been
running higher than that.

Beller can't afford any more.
The fuel crisis whacked him hard.

Ah, so now we're in
the charity business.

Face, don't you remember in '69 when
we had six days of "R" and "R" coming?

Yeah. We tried to get that flight
out of Da Nang to Hawaii.

Right.
All the flights were booked.

Beller Air bumped two tourists,
and we got a flight out.

We owe 'em this one.

Uh, B.A., how long is it gonna take you to
get through the top of the baggage compartment?

- With the proper tools, about 20 minutes.
- It's gotta be quicker.

I get those clowns off the ground, all we can be thinking
about is a fast refuel and exchange of passengers.

That's if they go
for the exchange.

Oh, they will.

We're gonna give them the president,
Edward Beller the Third...

and the executive vice president
of Beller Air as hostages.

- I thought nobody could get in touch with Beller.
- Right.

Must be our pilot.

I ain't flyin', Hannibal.

B.A., you're gonna be
ground crew on this one.

Your little red tennies
will never leave the asphalt.

Answer the door.

Where's Murdock?

I had the field trip
to the newspaper office all set up.

- I hope you didn't blow it, Amy.
- Murdock wasn't even at the hospital.

When I got there, they were
moving his things out of his room.

The front desk said the administration
had "made a change."

What kind of a change can they make with a dude
like that, aside from giving him a new brain?

Hannibal,
that puts us in kinda deep.

How are we gonna rescue a jet
without a pilot?

Don't make no difference.
I ain't flyin' with that crazy fool anyway.

You guys tell anybody
about this place?

It's all right.
Open 'em up.

What am I, the doorman?

Darn thing only gets
10 miles to the gallon.

Murdock, we've got a situation here.

What's the matter, Captain?

Colonel, I'm afraid I have some
terrible, terrible... terrible news.

What happened?
Your dog Billy get hit by a car?

Worse.

I have been kicked out.

Caine has been kicked out
of the harbor.

So pull up the gangplanks, Mr. Roberts,
and tell all the officers...

to meet me in the wardroom.

- You've been found sane.
- You got it.

My career is over.

No, it isn't.
We need you, Captain. Right now.

You mean, we're goin'... up there?

B.A., you take Murdock to the airport
and brief him on the way.

Hey, man, why do I gotta be the one
always bein' stuck with this crazy fool?

You go in as ground crew.

When I talk that jet in,
stall the refuelling till we get aboard.

Murdock'll help you
pull the floor paneling.

I told you before...
I ain't goin' up.

Just get Murdock on board.
Face, did you con us that limo?

Chauffeur and all.

All right.

You know the plan.
Let's go, guys.

- I think this is gonna work.
- It always works, Face.

Git!

Help us! Please, help us!

You try that again, lady,
and you're dead!

Beller 2-6-7, do you read? Over.

This is Rourke, Thomas.
Open up.

So, how they doin'?

They're pretty freaked out,
but no one's panicking... yet.

Well, when this sucker
hits the ocean, they'll panic.

Beller Airways Flight 2-6-7
to Operations. Come in, Operations.

This is Operations,
Beller Air 2-6-7.

Switch to security channel
nine-delta.

I want to talk to the man right now.
I'm losing patience.

Where are those guys?

Smith gave me his word
the A-Team will be here.

Mr. Beller's out raising the rest of the five
million. He'll be with you as soon as he can.

Well, he'd better get it. Otherwise we're
gonna turn this plane into a boat.

What am I supposed to do
while you guys are up in the air?

You're our liaison on the ground.

If Lynch gets a spotlight on us...

we're gonna have to
get out of there quick.

- So don't leave Beller operations room.
- Okay.

I don't know, Colonel.

This reminds me of the time you fixed me up with that
blind date who turned out to be the general's wife.

Now, now, Face.

I'm Edward Beller the Third, President of Beller
Airlines. You're my executive vice president.

We give them the five million and ourselves
as hostages when they turn over the passengers.

Then we overpower them
and, uh, Murdock flies us home.

Ah, we just overpower them.

Right. We assume
an offensive posture.

Military history has taught us that conflict is
merely the seizing of space from one's aggressor.

They've got the space up there. We've
got the offensive posture down here.

So, the two of us assume an offensive
posture against six guys with guns...

in an aeroplane at 35,000 feet
over the ocean.

Well, it's the application
of the theory that's interesting.

I don't know. Do you think
you look enough like Beller?

Of course I look
enough like Beller.

- What's the name of the guard?
- Scotty.

Watch Scotty.

Good afternoon.
I got the big guy in back.

- What do you say, Scotty? How are the wife and kids?
- Just fine, Mr. Beller.

Good to see you, sir.

I don't know, Larry. This guy
doesn't look a lot like Beller to me.

Save the raves, friend.
You got the money?

Miss Allen is part of the A-Team.
She'll be our liaison with the ground.

If the feds are tipped,
we're gonna need some warning.

There are couple of guys in the military
who'd like to see us again... behind bars.

- It's not that we don't trust you...
- But we don't trust anybody.

- You talk to the hijackers?
- You said not to.

Good. Get 'em on the radio.

This is Operations
to Beller Air Flight 2-6-7.

Beller Air 2-6-7.

This is Edward Beller.

Well, finally.
You've got the money, pal?

- I have it.
- Good.

Now, put us on a final approach, and put the
money in a fuel truck at the end of the runway.

We'll pick up a full load of fuel, and we'll
release the hostages when we get to Libya.

- No deal.
- Come on, now, pal. Don't pull out on us now.

We're prepared to dump this thing
in the ocean.

We'll let you have the money...

but we want an exchange of hostages...
Their safety is our first concern.

You release the passengers...

and myself and the vice president
of Beller Air...

will come aboard
with the $5 million ransom.

And what if I say no?

You're running out of fuel, pal.

That's it.
We don't say another word.

- What if he doesn't buy it?
- He wants the money.

This is Beller 2-6-7. Clear us for
immediate approach, runway seven-right.

2- 6-7 requesting
permission to land.

Murdock, you drive.

This is gonna be tough dropping
the paneling out of the monocoque.

Got struts everywhere, and that opening
gonna be hard for you to squeeze through.

Hey, I'll just shrink down
and squeeze through the cracks.

- I thought you said you wasn't crazy any more.
- Only on paper.

Look, man, I want you to take
a long time fillin' up them wing tanks...

'cause I'm gonna need
some time in there.

I don't wanna wind up
in the sky in an aeroplane.

Beller 2-6-7,
taxi to end of runway seven-right.

- Boy, oh, boy, if there was ever a time...
- Don't get any ideas, Face.

Well, they do say
every man has his price.

And you think five million
might just be yours, huh?

No, but it's real close.

Not for me.

Here they are.

All right, the two of you
come on up here real slow!

And keep your hands clear!

All right, that's him.
Come on.

Is it there?
Okay.

Get 'em in there, get the passengers out.
Come on.

Get 'em out of here.

- Come on! Move it! Let's go!
- Come on, come on.

Get up here, fool.

Beller Air Flight 267,
clear us for take-off.

You"ll be cleared immediately, 2-6-7.

We're gonna need more time if we're
gonna put a full load of fuel on board.

We've got plenty of fuel
for where we're going.

Clear us immediately on 24.
Repeat: Priority clearing on 24.

Do you think
the patient is going to make it, Doctor?

How you ever gonna make it on the outside
world if you keep makin' a fool out yourself?

I'm thinking about
a career in medicine.

Only thing you should be doin'
with medicine is usin' it for your head.

How much time do we have?

About half a tank.

What's that?

Um, sounds like... noise.

Let me outta here!

Don't!
Do you wanna kill yourself?

If I gotta fly, I do!

Hello!
Hello in there.

Now, B.A., involuntary paralyzation is one
of the primary symptoms of panic anxiety.

So just try to breathe deep.

Okay, forget deep...

and just try to breathe.

Trust me! I am an expert in my field!

♪ Pardon me, Roy
Is that the catatonic choo choo ♪

Come on, man!

Hannibal's got this whole thing
locked down!

- Why don't I sit here?
- That ain't him, Jack.

It's just a make-up job.

Seems you've lost some weight,
Mr. Beller.

- He's been sick.
- Yeah. I had a virus.

Haven't been able to eat for weeks.

Runny nose, infected ears,
mustache falls off.

Who are you?

We're a couple of
freelance Lone Ranger types.

Beller hired us
to handle you guys.

- "Lone Ranger types"?
- Yeah.

All right.

Go back to the luggage compartment
and get the parachutes.

We're bailing out just as soon
as we're out of range of the radar.

Unless you have wings,
you're dead.

You and Tonto can crack your lousy jokes
as you go into the ocean.

Get 'em up, Scout.

Okay, B.A.,
if you can hear me, blink.

Raise your eyebrow.

Smirk. Smile. Wince!

Come on, B.A.!

If you stay like this, they're gonna stand
you in front of a bank holding a clock.

- Darn airline's always
losing your luggage, isn't it?

- Think B.A. and Murdock pulled it off?
- I don't think so. Not enough time.

Look, we may be
running out of road on this one.

What are you, nuts? Cut the John Wayne
stuff. We're in real trouble here.

- Get creative.
- My hands are tied.

Cuffed.

Okay, pal.

Try to keep my friend
company here.

He doesn't talk much,
but he's got a heck of a smile.

Tommy, give me the heading
and coordinates, for the jump zone.

I'm gonna put it on automatic.

Go for a 1-5-3 heading.

Latitude's 23 degrees,
two minutes north...

and longitude is 109 degrees,
59 minutes west.

That's gonna put us right on the tip
of the Baja Peninsula.

Good, 'cause we're bailing out
in about ten minutes.

Our friends back there
are gonna go for a swim.

We're over the jump zone.

- Where's Rourke?
- He's back getting the parachutes.

He's taking his time too.
Why don't you give him a hand.

You squeak,
and you're gonna leak.

Now, real quiet, pal, move.

Hey!
You got your porch lights on.

Come on out of it, guy...

- Slap me again, and I'll break your arm.
- Welcome back, man.

- Where are we, man?
- You don't remember?

Of course I don't remember, fool,
or I wouldn't be asking you.

Well, we're about 36,000 feet,
travelling about 540 miles an hour...

and I think we're going south
somewhere over Mexico.

We in a plane?

Take it easy!
Hannibal and Face are in trouble.

They're being held hostage in the first
class compartment by those skyjackers.

I don't remember any skyjackers.
I don't remember none of this.

Traumatic shock.
Memory loss is a primary symptom.

- We in a plane?
- Don't panic.

- We're in a plane! A plane!
- Don't panic. Take it easy!

- A plane! A plane! A plane!
- Relax! Relax! Relax! Relax! Don't... Don't...

But stay angry,
you ugly mudsucker!

We gotta help our unit!

We gotta come up with something. There's at least
three more of them, and there's only two of us.

And one of us is crazy.

B.A., I'm gonna need the love and
support of all the friends I can get...

and I want you to be my role model...

somebody I can look up to when
the purple wobblies start to wobble.

- Say what?
- Ah, forget it!

You gotta come up
with some kind of plan!

If you ain't crazy no more, why
don't you come up with a plan?

Why don't you make up your mind! First I'm crazy,
then I'm not. She loves me, she loves me not...

Shut up, Murdock!
Shut up!

Now, listen, I want you to crawl up under the
floor and try to get a message to Hannibal.

Okay.

T.K.? Baker!

Baker?

What's going on here?

I'll check the bathroom
and the galley.

Get those chutes up front.

Listen.

- What?
- Hear that tapping?

I think it's Morse code.

No, it sounds like something
broken in the hydraulic unit.

No, it's Morse code.

It's Murdock.

"Go... to..."

"lavatory."

I can't.
I went before I left.

Now who's making jokes?
We gotta get you to the bathroom.

Sing.

♪ You are my sunshine ♪

♪ My only sunshine ♪

♪ You make me happy ♪

♪ When skies are grey ♪

What did Hannibal say?

- You see anything?
- Nothing.

I don't like this. We started out,
we were six. Now we're down to four.

People just don't disappear,
you know.

Just grab those other chutes,
get 'em up front.

- We gotta bail out this bird while it still has fuel.
- What about T.K. and Baker?

You wanna stay around
and look for 'em? Fine.

I'm gettin' off this sucker
while it's still in the air.

♪ You make me happy ♪

♪ When skies are grey ♪♪

What's goin' on here, dirtball?

I wouldn't wave that
around, friend.

Pressurized aeroplanes don't fly well
when they got holes in 'em.

You put somebody else on board
this plane when we stopped and got fuel?

Come on!
I ain't askin' you twice!

I wanted to bring my pet cat,
but I didn't have a kitty carrier.

Uh, now, how could we
get anybody on board?

You guys were only
on the ground two minutes.

Yeah, and I didn't have time
to go to the bathroom. Would you mind...

Well, flying makes
my stomach nervous. I...

Huh? Please?

Take him to the john, Price.

I never go to the bathroom.

Ah, I, uh... I really can't
go with these on.

Ah, come on. What am I gonna do,
flush myself down the toilet?

Yeah.

I appreciate this.

J...

- Hey, hurry it up!
- Hurry.

Come on. Let's go.

Shh. We don't want to
wake the passengers.

Thom... Thomas!

Move, and you're dead.

I told you about that gun, pal.

You blow a hole in this bird, it'll
depressurize. Then we'll all go down.

We got trouble out here.
Price just called for help.

Grab the cash.
Let's get ready to bail out.

Oh! My eyes! My eyes!

- Murdock, you okay?
- My eyes.

It's a powder burn
when the gun discharged.

- I can't see, man.
- You'll be all right, man. I'll get you outta here.

- Drop your gun!
- B.A., don't shoot!

Hannibal, grab ahold
of my hand! Grab it!

There's no response
from Flight 2-6-7.

- How much fuel do they have left?
- Thirty minutes at most.

They've been holding this pattern
for the last hour.

I don't understand it.
Maybe the A-Team couldn't pull it off.

They'll pull it off.

With a tailwind, maybe.

Considering the pattern that jet's
circling in, it's like nobody's flying it.

We're gonna die, man.
We're gonna die.

Did any of you guys ever see that old
Doug McClure movie, Terror in the Sky?

Shut up, Murdock. I ain't got time
for your crazy rap up here.

No, McClure's in this plane, and the pilots
get ptomaine poisoning from the food.

So he has to take the controls,
and the tower talks him in.

- So?
- You guys ever fly anything?

Kites. But that was
when I was a kid.

I took an introductory flight once...

where they let me hold the stick of
a single-engine for a couple of minutes.

Well, Hannibal, you be my eyes,
and I'll bring this sucker home.

- You're on.
- This is my worst nightmare.

Cheer up, B.A.
Your insurance is up to date.

Come on, Captain.

Let me show you
how to fly this bird.

Are you ready, Cap'n?

I'm always ready.

What can I say?
The man's on the jazz.

Okay, um, there's a little gauge
to your right, and it might be flashing.

- What does it say?
- "Fasten seat belts."

- Not that one. The one next to it.
- Attitude indicator?

- Uh, yeah. Give me the reading.
- In pitch or yaw?

- How about English?
- Murdock, do you really know how to fly this thing?

Let me tell you, Colonel, when they turn
these babies over they all look alike.

Listen, Murdock, I'm only gonna say this
once. Don't be messin' around up here.

You tell Hannibal how to get this thing down, 'cause
I'm scared, and when I'm scared I tend to get mean.

- And you don't ever wanna see me mean.
- Secure that, Sergeant.

- What's next?
- Okay, we gon' fly this thing.

Get on the radio
and contact the tower.

Uh, Face, how much fuel we got left?
The gauge should be there on your right.

And it should say "fuel."

- Uh, 6,000, uh, pounds?
- That's about 13 minutes.

Beller Operations, this is Beller
Flight 2-6-7. Do you read?

This is Operations, 2-6-7.
Go ahead.

This is Hannibal Smith.
We've secured your aircraft.

- Great.
- But we've got one problem.

Jackson, the other pilot on board,
was blown from the aeroplane.

You should find him
somewhere over Tijuana.

- What about your own pilot you brought on board?
- Blinded in a firefight.

We're depressurized.
We're running out of fuel.

Have you had
any flight experience, Smith?

Paper aeroplanes.
Does that count?

Okay, Smith, just take 'er easy,
and we'll get right back to you.

There is no way someone who has
not flown a heavy jet can land at L.A.X.

One incident... one mess-up...
and he'll wipe out half the city.

All right, Larry, what's normal standard
operating procedure in this situation?

We give him a false heading
and send him into the ocean.

- You can't do that!
- Look, lady...

Smith doesn't have enough fuel
for us to talk him down by autopilot.

He'll have to land that thing by stick.

And there is one chance in 500
he can do that without incident.

Now, we just can't risk it.

I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to
send him into the ocean.

Do it.

Okay, Smith, uh, we're gonna
take you off autopilot.

- You're gonna have to fly this thing yourself.
- No kidding.

Is your pilot
well enough to help you?

- I'm here.
- Okay, Captain, he'll be your eyes.

Begin final approach procedure.

Okay, grab hold of this baby.

- Got 'er.
- Autopilot's off.

What's happening?

Fly this thing, man. We goin' up,
and we supposed to be goin' down!

Uh, the trim tab's under your thumbs.
Uh, up and down.

- And, uh, wing level is your hands.
- Okay.

Now, on your artificial horizon...

below that is a white line that
cuts across the centre of the grid.

Right.

Put that small plane on the first line
below the centre line.

Mm-hmm.

Slowly push the yoke forward.

What's next?

I think maybe a short prayer and
a couple of warm goodbyes would be nice.

I'm gonna send him into the ocean
just west of Catalina.

- Okay, Captain, turn...
- Okay, listen straight.

You tell Hannibal how to bring the jet
back to this airport, or I'll blow you away.

Hannibal, this is Amy.

I want you to double-check everything
these guys tell you with Murdock.

What's going on, kid?

- They're trying to make you crash in the ocean.
- What are we gonna do now?

Now, you just help 'em
land this thing.

Okay, Smith,
we're gonna bring you in V.F.R.

- "V.F.R."?
- That's pilot talk. It just means you're flying this baby on your own.

Now, we're gonna bank right.

So turn the yoke right real slow.

This is Captain H.M. Murdock.

You wanna give me the, uh, headings on our final
approach, and we'll get this sled in for ya.

Murdock... turn right.

Heading 0-6-niner.

Okay, you wanna
keep that little plane...

below the artificial horizon...

and you just keep turning 'er until
you see zero-six-niner on the compass.

Not so fast, Colonel.
Not so fast.

You just do it real slow,
like you was dancin' with a big, fat girl.

You got it?

- I think so.
- All right, what's our airspeed?

Uh... 225.

- Altitude?
- 3,500.

Can you find the flaps?

- Yeah.
- Okay, give me one notch.

One notch.

- You see the one little green light?
- No.

- Now I do.
- Landing gear is down.

You should see the airport
out there on the coast.

All right, give me one more notch.

One more notch.

We don't see any land, fellas.

How much fuel have we got, Face?

Uh, uh... 3,500 pounds.

Oh... that's six minutes.

You'll make visual contact
anytime now, Smith.

Keep the yoke moving forward.

Get the nose down.
You're gonna have to lose some altitude.

If we lose any more altitude,
we're gonna be waterskiing.

What is our altitude
and airspeed?

Uh, 2,200 feet, 190 knots.

All right, try to hold that.

I've got visual contact.

Uh, full flaps. Don't go below 140
on the airspeed, though.

Full flaps.
I got, uh, 150.

Bring the nose up a little.

All right, clear that runway
and get some emergency units out there.

We've only got enough fuel
to do this once, and we're coming in.

Get our emergency units
out to runway seven-right.

Face, if we crash...

We gonna crash!
We gonna crash!

Face, get him off me!
Get him off me!

Sorry, fellas.
I lost my head.

- Fasten your seat belts.
- Keep the nose down!

Uh, I, uh...
I think we're about out of fuel.

Yeah, we're
definitely out of fuel.

- Altitude?
- One hundred feet.

When you think you're gonna hit the runway,
you pull back on that yoke as hard as you can.

Okay, stand by.

Stand by.

Here we go.

Forward!
Go forward with that yoke!

Reverse your thrusters!
Get on the brakes, Smith!

- Hit the brakes!
- Where are they?

I got 'em!

Okay, get your heads down!

Maybe they'll let me fly one of these birds,
now that I'm not crazy any more.

See, B.A.?
Flying isn't so bad.

Hello. B.A.?

I love it
when a plan comes together.

It's been almost a week,
and I still ain't recovered from that.

- Me neither.
- How's the swelling?

Oh, it's goin' down.
I can see all right now.

I hope I never see you again.

By the way, B.A., I thought that now that I'm not
nuts any more, maybe you and I could room together.

On the other hand,
good fences do make good neighbors.

- How'd we make out, Face?
- How'd we make out? Lousy.

One percent of the ransom.
Fifty thousand dollars, right?

Split that five ways,
that's 10 grand apiece.

Now, we each put half of our take into our
retirement programs and hold back a third for taxes.

Since when are we paying taxes?

We don't pay taxes.

Various expenses... fees, insurance,
medical, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

That leaves us with $236.

- Apiece?
- No, no, no. All together.

We're almost there, Murdock.

Now, go in there and get your stuff.
Don't mess around.

You know, I'm really
gonna miss this place...

and those warm nights
in post-shock...

carvin' birds out of soap
with blunt Popsicle sticks.

Well, they ain't gonna miss you.
Now get goin'.

Hi, Doc.

Murdock! I want you to tell these gentlemen
that I am an emissary from the planet Fargo...

and that I am here to release Commander
Gutar from the enemies of the Dark Star.

- Huh?
- You Murdock?

- Sometimes.
- We've been looking all over for you, chief.

Now, Dr. Nutball here
released all of his patients.

No! My good sir, this doctor
has released me because I'm sane!

- I have papers and everything!
- Just take it easy.

No! No! Tell 'em!
Tell 'em, Doc! Tell 'em!

Oh, I've tried!
But these men do not speak the code!

They are ignorant
of the ways of our galaxy!

- What galaxy?
- Our galaxy.

Courage, Murdock!

Let me show you
my release papers.

You see? "Sane."
S-A-N-E!

Sound! Sensible!
Wise! Rational!

Lucid! Prudent! Reasonable!

Home! Home at last!