That Girl (1966–1971): Season 5, Episode 8 - That Cake - full transcript

All right, guys, that's enough
of the building materials exhibit.

Now look over here.

We'll get a few shots of,
uh, Miss Whosits making...

Marie. Ann Marie.

And we'll do the interview while
she takes the cake out of the oven.

Right. Now step
right over here, honey.

This is where...

Now let's remember to keep
the state seal in the background

so we can see it behind
Miss, um, What's-Her-Name.

Marie. It's Ann Marie.

Doesn't she have
something to do?



- Do something. Make the cake.
- Oh, yes. Okay.

Oh, that's fine.
That's just great.

I don't know. I think
I forgot something.

Cake tins? No. Spatula? No.

[telephone ringing]

Oh, excuse me.

[ring]

New York State Has
Everything display. Rauser.

Who? Ann Marie?

Oh, that's me... Miss Whosits.

Thank you. Oh, dear.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Donald darling.

Oh, everything
is fine, just fine.



Tonight? Why?

Oh, you're kidding.

Two tickets to the opening
of Good-bye Jonah?

Oh, Donald, you're fantastic.

And everybody said you
couldn't part the Hudson River.

How soon? How soon?

We're ready when
the little lady is.

Don't worry. I will
be on time, I promise.

Please, Miss Whosits,
if you don't mind.

Yes, sir. Donald, I'll
see you at 6:00 at Nino's.

Right. I'll be there.
Okay. I love you, too. 'Bye.

Uh, could you just...
Thank you. Thank you.

Hit those lights. Come
on, fellas. Up in here.

- Let's get started, can we?
- Let's go. Come on.

- Ready.
- [telephone ringing]

Aiee.

Hello? Who's this?

Who's this?
Whosits is that girl.

♪ Diamonds,
daisies, snowflakes ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Chestnuts,
rainbows, springtime ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She spins a lot of dreams ♪

♪ She's everything that
every girl should be ♪

♪ Sable, popcorn, white wine ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Gingham, bluebirds, Broadway ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She's mine alone,
but luckily for you ♪

♪ If you find a girl to love ♪

♪ Only one girl to love ♪

♪ Then she'll be
That Girl, too ♪

That Girl!

- Hi, Marcy.
- Hi. Hey, how'd it go?

Oh, great. You
know I never say this,

but I was really a
terrific actress today.

What actress? I thought all
you had to do was bake a cake.

I don't know how to bake a cake.

I had to act like I
was baking a cake.

I mean, I put in some
cheese and flour and eggs...

Ann, that's baking a cake.

I baked a cake.

[laughing]

Wait till Donald finds out
you can really bake a cake,

instead of acting like
you can bake a cake.

Oh, Donald. I've got to meet
him in 20 minutes at Nino's.

He got tickets tonight to the
opening of Good-bye, Jonah.

Oh, wow, how'd he do that?

I hear it's another Fiddler.

Listen, help me take these
off. What do you want to borrow?

- How'd you know?
- I heard Harry yelling
as I was coming up the stairs.

Yeah. Whole milk.

I thought he was
supposed to take nonfat.

Yeah, true. But, well,
he says it makes him sick.

Drinking nonfat
milk makes him sick?

No, not drinking it.

Putting it in his coffee
and watching it turn gray.

- In the refrigerator,
top shelf. Help yourself.
- Thanks.

Hey, Annie, what time do we get to
see you baking your little heart out on TV?

7:30 on the nose. And be sure
and watch and tell me how I look.

- Aren't you gonna watch it?
- I can't. I'll be at Nino's
with Donald.

And besides, once you
convinced me I was baking

and not really
acting, I lost interest.

Another beer, Don?

No thanks, Tommy. Never
could get used to drinking alone.

Listen, that's women.

I know that's women.

That's why I told Ann
to meet me here at 6:00,

so I'd be sure she'd
be here at 6:30.

Oh, no. I hope Donald's
giving me his usual half hour.

That's funny.

Oh, my gosh.

Where is it?

It's got to be here.

What could I have done with it?

Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh.

It's me, the milk lady.

My ring. I've lost my ring.

- Your engagement ring?
- What other kind of ring
is there?

Now wait a minute.
Let's not panic.

Why? What else is panic for, if
not losing your engagement ring?

That makes a lot of
sense. Now let's see.

If I were you, what would I do
with my ring when I go to change?

You'd take it off
and you'd lose it.

Now wait a minute, Annie. Relax. It
happens to everybody sooner or later.

This is not sooner or
later. This is right now.

It happened to me a
week after I got married.

What did you do?

Well, very calmly,
very matter-of-factly,

I searched the apartment
without going crazy.

- Yeah?
- And then I walked
to the window,

and I found it in
the window box.

How did you know it
was in the window box?

I didn't. I noticed it as I
was climbing up to jump out.

Oh, Marcy.

[dial tone]

[busy signal]

- Still busy?
- Only for the last 15 minutes.

You don't think
something's wrong, do you?

Ordinarily, no.

But then again, Ann knows we
have to catch an opening tonight.

Listen, I better take a
ride over there just in case.

If you can sell the table, fine.

Don't worry about it. I
just hope everything's okay.

If I know Ann, she has a
perfectly logical explanation,

like she thought I meant
the Nino's in Pittsburgh.

Thank you.

Where else would you put it
so you'd know it would be safe?

I don't know. We've looked
every safe place I can think of.

- [knock on door] - They
found it! Somebody found it!

- The mailbox. You took it off
to open the mailbox.
- Yes!

- Hi, there.
- Donald.

- You remembered my name.
- Hey, Don.

Oh, Donald, listen.
About my being late...

What happened?

Well, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.

Are you all right?

I'd rather not answer
that question right now.

She was robbed.

Robbed?

Well, not... not quite.

What do you mean, "not quite"?
Either something's missing or it's not.

I was robbed.

Well, then, for Pete's
sake, let's call the police.

No wonder I
couldn't get through.

Donald, don't. Wait a minute.

- Don't call the police.
- Why not?

Because... 'cause
I'm the robber.

Is she making any sense to you?

Uh, yes, she is, and I would
like to add good-bye. Good-bye.

All right, she's gone.
You can talk normally now.

Oh, Donald, I don't
know what to say.

Maybe if I came in again.

Oh, wait a minute,
Donald, please.

Just tell me that you love me
and that you'll never get mad at me,

because if you
ever got mad at me

and we had a really
terrible argument,

you might ask me for
my ring back, and I...

I really couldn't give it
back, because I don't have it.

- [crying]
- Oh, you've lost the ring.

If you're gonna
strangle me, Donald,

you're supposed to
hold me by the neck.

Don't be silly.

You called me silly.

I didn't call you silly.
I said, "Don't be silly."

Now look, let's figure
out where the ring is.

- Where did you lose it?
- Oh, Donald,
what an awful question.

If I knew...

I mean, when did you
notice it was missing?

Oh, Donald, I have asked
and answered myself

all those questions.

Honey, all right, now. Settle
down here. Just sit down.

Now the ring exists someplace.

If we concentrate hard
enough, we may find it.

And I want you to know the
ring is insured against loss.

So at the very worst,
we'll get the money back...

Don't tell me how much it cost.

I won't. And I'll get
you another one, okay?

Well, it's not okay, Donald.

That's the ring you gave me
when you asked me to marry you.

I mean, it's not like some dumb
old gift you've given me before

that was meaningless.

Look at a man get attacked

for four long years of Christmas
shopping and birthday presents.

Oh, Donald, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean that
the way it sounded.

It's just that I'm very upset.

I love that ring and
everything about it.

All right, honey.
All right. Now look.

Calmly and scientifically,

when do you first
think you lost it?

Calmly and scientifically?

I haven't the faintest idea.

All right, all right, look.

Maybe it'll be better if we
start from the very beginning.

What's the first thing you did
when you got up this morning?

Oh, Donald, I've already
walked through all that with Marcy.

I'm absolutely
positive I had it on

when I went to the
convention center.

Baking. You took it off to...

I did not. Ask Mr. Magelson.

Okay. Mr. Magelson, yoo-hoo.

Oh, Donald, please.

Mr. Magelson is in charge
of the New York State display,

and he specifically asked
me to leave my ring on

so that I'd look like an
average homemaker.

By the way, I was very good.

How about after the cake
when you were washing up?

No, Donald. I know for certain

that I had my ring
on until I sat down at...

The wastebasket.

It could have dropped in my
wastebasket by the dressing table.

[telephone rings]

Who is it?

This is your father.

Oh, hi, Daddy.
Why are you calling?

To hear a babbling sound.

Every once in a while, I feel an
urge to listen to a babbling sound.

I can't telephone a brook,
so I call my daughter.

Oh, Daddy, I'm sorry. I thought
you might be calling about my ring.

I mean, not that you'd
be calling about my ring,

'cause I didn't really
know it was you,

but I mean somebody might
be calling about my ring.

Ann, what are you talking about?

Daddy, I've lost my
ring... My engagement ring.

How much did it cost?

Daddy, I don't know
how much it cost.

It's not important
how much it cost.

That's right. Hollinger
bought it, not you.

Daddy, money isn't
the important thing.

It's the sentimental value.

Sentimental. Sentimental.
Where did you lose it?

Why does everybody keep
asking me where I lost it?

If I knew where I lost
it, I'd go there and find it.

- Well, did you?
- Did I what?

Go there and find it?

No, of course I didn't
go there and find it.

I have no idea where "there" is.

Then think. Where
did you lose it?

Daddy!

All right. Let me ask
you a practical question,

and don't get upset with me.

Was the ring insured?

Yes, it's insured.

Then, my dear, you have
nothing to be concerned about.

Boy, oh, boy, all
you men are alike.

Don't you put any other
value on an engagement ring

other than money?

Don't you realize that when you
give us those engagement rings,

you're giving us
a symbol of love?

A lifetime of waiting,

a future that holds
plans and joy and hope?

And the ring is a
part of that realization.

You just can't
separate it, Daddy.

You just can't go
get another ring.

I mean, insurance is fine,
but it just isn't the same thing.

You really have to try and
understand that, Daddy.

I mean, you really do.

Daddy? Daddy?

Hi, honey. I just
went for my coffee.

Now what were you saying?

Daddy.

Honey.

Oh, Daddy, I've got to go.
Why were you calling me?

Just to say hello,

and to ask you why Hollinger
is always in that apartment.

Hello, and he's not
always in my apartment.

He's here a lot because
he should be here a lot.

After all, he is my fiancé,

and he's here now because he's
helping me find my engagement ring.

Okay?

Okay, and I hope you find it.

Just to make sure, I'll
give you a ring tomorrow.

Daddy, I don't want
you to give me a ring.

Donald gave me that ring.

Ann, I mean a phone call.

Oh.

Ann.

Daddy, I gotta
go. I gotta go. 'Bye.

Where are you?

In here.

Donald, what are you doing?
I wasn't under there today.

Yeah, I know, but you may
have dropped the ring in the sink,

and it may be in the trap.

- [thump]
- Ow.

Watch your head.

You watch it. I can't
stand the sight of blood.

Now, honey,

tell me if the
water is on or off.

Oh, just a minute.

Yeah, it's on.

Good, good.

Oh, Donald, I'm sorry.

Listen, that's all right, honey.

After all that work, I
needed to freshen up.

Oh, Donald, I could die.

Honey, look, it's
just about 7:30.

Why don't we go and
catch a little part of our show,

and then we can come back
here and look for the ring.

You mean to say that you
could actually sit in a theatre

and enjoy a show,

knowing that my engagement
ring is goodness knows where?

Oh, the television
set. I'm on the news.

I'm gonna go in the bedroom
and check once more.

Well, there's one consolation.

At least it'll be fun
seeing you this afternoon,

back in the good old days.

According to official
White House sources,

the Prime Minister's
visit will end

with the usual
tour of Disneyland.

Now for the local news.
In New York City today,

festivities got under way,
marking the beginning

of New York Has Everything Week.

- Hey, honey, I think
this is you.
- Oh, good.

For a special report, let's go to
Ron Rauser at the convention center.

- Dinner?
- No, thanks. Shh.

This is Ron Rauser along
with Clifford Magelson

of the State Public
Information Office.

Well, Cliff, what's
this display all about?

Well, Ray, our
official Miss Everything

is about to take a beautiful
cheesecake out of the oven

for a final garnishing

with fresh strawberries.

- How do I look?
- Fantastic.

You'd never know you were on
the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Now as I understand it,

every single ingredient in that
cake comes from New York State.

That is correct.

This cake is merely
a dramatic illustration

to tourists and
businessmen alike

that he can find
everything under the sun

- right here in New York.
- Hmm, very interesting.

In this case,

we have homegrown
New York flour,

New York butter and eggs, cream,

And diamonds!

- Donald, look! My ring!
- What ring?

Exactly! What ring?

I had it on when I started. I
don't have it on when I finished.

Donald, my ring is
in that cheesecake.

Well, at least now you
know where you lost the ring.

I should have known the cream
cheese was going to be slippery.

- You feel better now?
- No. Donald, do you know
what this means?

I think so. As of now, I'm
officially engaged to a cheesecake.

Donald, how can you
joke at a time like this?

Considering I just blew 24
bucks on 2 tickets to an opening,

- I haven't the faintest idea.
- What are we gonna do?

Honey, it's really very simple.

All we have to do is run
down to the convention center...

That's it. That's
exactly what we'll do.

I'll get my purse. Maybe we can
even make it for the middle of Act 1.

- Sure, if we pray
for a miracle.
- What miracle?

That we run into a
well-dressed stick-up man

who orders me to
change clothes with him.

It's probably over here,
Donald, on the table.

Oh, now just a
minute, just a minute.

- We don't open till tomorrow.
- Oh, my gosh, my cake.

Where's my cake?

- Now, miss, please...
- It's all right. I'm Miss Everything.

- Who?
- To see Mr. Magelson.

Yes. You see, this morning
I baked him a cheesecake,

but the recipe didn't
call for a carat and a half.

Look, it's a long,
horrible story.

If you could just tell us where
we can find Mr. Magelson.

Yes, and my cheesecake.

Oh, well, he left for the
Governor's townhouse an hour ago,

and I would assume he
had your cake with him.

Governor Rockefeller's
townhouse?

Yes. He's hosting some kind of
Convention Week kickoff dinner.

Dinner? Donald,
that means dessert.

I've got to call over
there right away.

I just hope my ring insurance
covers abdominal surgery.

- I beg your pardon?
- The Governor will understand.

Listen, could you
just please connect me

with the person in
charge of cakes?

Cakes.

You know, food.

Miss, I am not psychotic.

I happen to be a
very nice person

who's about to have a
nervous breakdown if you don't...

[click]

Hello? Hello?

Miss?

Something tells me
you just proved her point.

I made perfect sense.
It's just such a stupid story.

- What?
- We're having dinner
with the Rockefellers.

Well, that took him long enough.

Come on, move.

The coffee and dessert should
have been out ten minutes ago.

Hey, Lazlo, where do you
want the girl for the cake?

What are you talking about?
This is the Governor's house.

All I know is, she says
she goes with the cake.

I'm sorry, but I just had
to get it before it's too late.

- There it is! There's my cake!
- Your cake?

Yeah, we've got to see the
person in charge right away.

- That's me.
- You?

Who are you, anyway?

I'm Miss Everything.

Oh. Miss Everything. And
you... You're Mr. Wonderful?

Well, I was up
until 6:30 tonight.

- That's when he found out
I lost his ring.
- Her engagement ring.

- In that cake.
- Which she baked this afternoon
at the convention center.

- For those people inside.

Let me get this straight.

You say that your ring
is in that beautiful cake

that I should be serving
this very second?

- Right.
- And for which
there's no substitute dessert?

Well, maybe if you
used a long, skinny fork,

- it wouldn't be too messy.
- A long, skinny fork.

Oh, please, sir. It's my
only engagement ring.

[sighs] Oh, well.

Oh, very well.

There. That's it. That's enough.

Well, uh, could
you, uh... cut it up?

Cut it up?

Listen, you've got to. If somebody
in there swallows that ring,

they'll get sick,
and you'll go to jail.

I'll be there anyway...
For killing her.

Well, Miss Everything?

Nothing.

It just has to be in
there. It just has to be.

Why don't you walk around in it?
Maybe you'll feel it with your toes.

Listen, we're really very
sorry, but we had to do it.

I know my ring came off
when I was baking this cake.

How am I gonna serve this mess?

Well, maybe you could
cover it up with whipped cream

and serve it in little...

Yeah, maybe I could put it in the
blender and serve it with a straw.

And maybe... yet a
better maybe... You...

Sir, please. Donald,
what are we gonna do?

- I've gotta find my ring.
- Honey, let's face it. We've
done everything we can do.

I'll vouch for that.

Come on. I'm gonna
take you home.

It's been a long, horrible day.

Listen sir, if you do
happen to find my ring...

I'll stuff it in a squab
and send it over.

Oh, Donald, I
am being realistic.

I'm not even
thinking of the money.

- It's the sentimental value.
- Well, not only that.

- I mean, the bad luck.
- What bad luck?

You mean to say it isn't a bad
omen to lose your engagement ring?

Honey, frankly, the only thing
I mean to say is good night,

before we both collapse.

Yeah, I guess you're right.
Tomorrow's another day.

Finally.

[knock on door]

- Who's that?
- I don't know.

- Marcy.
- Happy birthday.

- It's not my birthday.
- It's all right. It's not a present.

- What is it?
- Oh, I don't know.

I came over before and
it was in front of her door,

- so I took it to my apartment.
- What is it?

[gasps] Donald, look,
it's the cake! It's my cake!

Oh, and look, the chef
glued it back together.

Wait a minute. He also glued
a note on the top of the box.

"Dear Miss Whosits,
enclosed is your cake,

"which miraculously collapsed an
hour after we took it from the oven.

"We've had another one baked
and sent over to the Governor.

"We thought Miss Whosits would
like her own whatchamacallit back.

"Best wishes,
Whats-his-name Magelson."

- Wait a minute.
- Why?

Well, we know the
ring is in the cake, right?

- Yeah, well, we think it is.
- Well, if the ring
is in the cake,

it doesn't make any difference
whether we mess it up,

- or whether we cut it
nice and neatly.
- No, I guess you're right.

So rather than
messing up the cake,

which you worked very
hard to make and bake,

why don't we just sit
down nice and quietly

and cut it piece by piece,

and eat it with milk
until we find the ring?

Well, that does make some sense,

'cause then if
it isn't in there,

- it'll be longer before we know
it isn't in there.
- Right.

- And then, at least...
- Oh, I can't stand it!

I got it! I got it!

- Annie, I got it.
- Oh, Marcy. Oh, my ring.

[telephone rings]

Hello?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, just a minute.

It's for you.

Hello?

- Here. I'm gonna go check
the parking meter.
- Okay.

Oh, hello, Lazlo.

Oh, that's very nice
of you, but I did find it.

Yes, it was in a different cake.

[laughs] But thank you
very much for calling.

That's very nice. 'Bye.

- What a sweet man.
- Yeah.

- Where's Donald?
- He said he wanted to go out
and check the parking meter.

[telephone rings]

Hello?

- Hello, Miss Marie?
- Yes, this is me.

This is Governor Rockefeller.

Governor Rockefeller?

You mean the real
Governor who's Governor?

I think so, unless you've been
talking to some of my opponents.

Oh, no. Marcy, I think
I'm in terrible trouble.

I feel obligated to say something
to you about my dessert.

Oh, is that so, your Governor...

ship... ness?

I've just heard

that our Miss Everything has
somehow lost her engagement ring

in the service of her state,

and I wanted you to know
how sorry I am about it.

Oh. Oh, my. That's
really very nice of you.

Actually, I found my ring.

You see, it was in
another cake that you were

supposed to get that
I had baked for you,

but you didn't get
because it collapsed.

Say, you're really doing a
marvelous job governing.

Thank you for the compliment,
and thank you for ruining my dessert.

Your loss of a ring was
probably responsible

for my loss of a pound. [laughs]

Oh, that's very funny.

You know, Governor,
if I may say so,

New York really
does have everything,

including a governor
with a sense of humor.

Thank you, Miss
Marie, and good night.

My best to your fiancée.

Oh, good-bye. Thank
you. I'll tell him. Good-bye.

[line clicks]

I can't believe that.
That was the Governor.

- The real Governor?
- Honestly, it was him
on the phone.

- I mean, I can't believe it.
- Where'd he get your number?

- I don't know. I have no idea.
- The book. You're in the book.

It's just like in the movies. It's a
last-minute call from the Governor.

And Donald wasn't even here.

Donald! Donald, you'll never
guess who just called me!

- Who?
- The Governor.

- Oh, honey.
- He did, he did.

[imitating Governor]
Miss Marie, I feel obligated

to say something to you regarding
what happened to you tonight,

and my phone call.

Donald!

Honey, this cake is delicious.

Oh, do you really like it?

It's great. It's got a real
different, interesting flavor.

Describe it.

- Describe it?
- Uh-huh.

Well, it's kind of like, um...

I don't know... mocha.

Uh, no, no, no, no. Not mocha.

It's, um, more like, um, prune?

Prune. No, no, not prune.

Uh, it's a kind of a...

gingery, uh... a gingery
fudge. Ginger fudge.

No. Well, I don't
know what it is, honey.

It doesn't make any
difference, 'cause it's great.

Oh, Donald, I'm
glad you like it.

I didn't want to tell you before
you tasted it, but I made it myself.

I concentrated all day,
and I made it all by myself.

Well, you can be really proud of
yourself, because it's really great.

I've never tasted
anything like it.

- Donald?
- What?

Where's my bar of soap?

I don't know.

Well, that's funny.

I saw it here all afternoon
while I was making my cake.

I remember picking it up once to
wash my hands after I mixed the batter.

Then the phone rang, and
I dropped it somewhere.

Ann.

Oh, Donald, I'm only kidding.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ Diamonds,
daisies, snowflakes ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Chestnuts,
rainbows, springtime ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She's mine alone,
but luckily for you ♪

♪ If you find a girl to love ♪

♪ Only one girl to love ♪

♪ Then she'll be
That Girl, too ♪

That Girl!