That Girl (1966–1971): Season 5, Episode 7 - There Sure Are a Bunch of Cards in St. Louis: Part II - full transcript

In a continuation of Ann and Donald's trip to St. Louis where Ann is appearing in a play and which thus allows Ann to meet who Ann believes is Donald's disapproving family, Ann is asked by the play's producer if she would like to assume the lead role in the play due to the lead actress coming down with the measles. Ann believes she could do it, but turns down the offer, leaving the role to the excited understudy, Jeannie. Ann, however, changes her mind as she believes that being the lead will make Mrs. Hollinger proud of her - which Ann feels currently isn't the case - and win over Donald's Great Aunt Belle, who Ann has yet to meet. Assuming the lead role would also allow Ann to get out of what is supposed to be a surprise dinner party meeting with Aunt Belle. But what may be more difficult for Ann is to tell Jeannie that she now wants the role back despite the reason.

You see that plane?

That's not just any plane.

That's the plane
that's carrying me

on a very important
tour of inspection.

I'm going to be
inspecting Saint Louis

for the very first time.

And Donald's parents are
going to be inspecting me

for the very first time.

Honey, there won't
be any inspection,

and you'll pass it easily.

What about your
great aunt Belle?



No problem.

You said yourself
she's the tough one.

Honey, my great aunt
Belle is an old lady

who traditionally has
had something to say

about every kind
of family business,

but we just humor her.

Your cousin Danny sure
didn't find any humor in her.

Well, he was really
engaged to a dummy anyway.

It's a good thing Aunt
Belle talked him out of it.

I liked the way
she said it, though.

You're really engaged
to a dummy, Danny.

Of course, I was
much more concerned

about how Donald's
mother would feel about me.

She gave a party
for us that night



and I was really
hoping to impress her.

Your mother doesn't
like me, Donald.

Oh, come on,
honey, that's silly.

It is not silly. She
doesn't like me.

Women know these
things about other women.

If she didn't like you,

would she have given
that party tonight?

Of course she would

if she gave it to
make you happy.

And she's making
plans at a restaurant

for tomorrow night.

It's easier than cooking.

Morning.

- Good morning, d...
- Good morning, son.

- Donald.
- What?

Look at you.

I'm cute.

You aren't cute at all.

Get out of those pajamas.

I'd freeze.

Bert, will you
please tell your son

to stop talking smart-aleck
New York to me?

Donald, do what
your mother wants.

While you're here,
the Cardinals just got

a new catcher from the Dodgers.

Oh, yeah? You want to make
a bet on next year's pennant?

No, sir.

You've won enough of
those from me already.

Neither one of you
can see anything wrong

with him standing
around here in pajamas

while she might be coming
down here any minute.

- She? Who's "she"?
- Ann...

You know very well who.

That girl.

♪ Diamonds,
daisies, snowflakes ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Chestnuts,
rainbows, springtime ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She spins a lot of dreams ♪

♪ She's everything that
every girl should be ♪

♪ Sable, popcorn, white wine ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Gingham, bluebirds, Broadway ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She's mine alone,
but luckily for you ♪

♪ If you find a girl to love ♪

♪ Only one girl to love ♪

♪ Then she'll be
That Girl, too ♪

That Girl!

Well, where is she?

Mom, do me a favor.

She's my fiancée.
Call her "Ann".

You just called
her "she", Donald.

Because I referred
to her as "Ann"

in the same sentence.

In the dictionary the
word "she" is listed

simply as a
pronoun, not an insult.

If you like, I'll call her
"Ann" all the time now.

Don't say "her", say "Ann".

- Bert.
- Just joking, dear.

Now, Donald, are you
going to get into some clothes

before Ann comes down?

All right.

- Good morning.
- Get out quickly.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, honey.

- She meant me, not you.
- Oh, what chance have I got?

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- Sit down, Ann.
- Good morning.

- Yes, sit down, sweetheart.
- Good morning.

Good morning.

We knew you had
to go to rehearsal,

and we didn't want you
to go down there hungry.

Oh, don't worry about me.

I never eat anything
for breakfast.

But that's mainly because I
have no one to cook for me.

I just usually run off
to rehearsals hungry.

But I actually love
a big breakfast.

As a matter of fact,

eggs and sausages
are just my favorite.

I-I could smell them coming in.

I almost ate them
before I got here.

I mean, the smell made me...

I'm ready to eat.

Fine, take these.

Bert, you'll have your
eggs without sausages

this morning for a change.

Oh, for heaven's sakes, I
thought that these were...

Honey, honey, honey.

I told Mother you
didn't eat any breakfast,

but she made you
some toast anyway.

- You go ahead.
- Well, no.

Please, Mr. Hollinger.

Now, first of all,

I like "Dad" much better
than "Mr. Hollinger".

And secondly, I'm going
to clear up this whole thing.

Now obviously, you don't
want sausage and eggs,

but you were going to
eat them just to be nice,

so I'll take them.

Now, you may or may
not have toast as you wish,

and I wish everybody
in this house

would stop acting
like strangers,

and I'd be a much happier man.

Thank you, Dad.

I'll have some toast, Donald.

Okay, honey.

You don't have to eat it.

Oh, no, really. I want it.

I don't usually eat it at home,

but... but I honestly
do feel like it now.

But it's ice cold.

Now let me fix you
some fresh toast.

- Oh, no, please don't bother.
- I do it all the time.

I can't stand it.

Make the toast.

- And who?
- Who?

Who did the Cards
get from the Dodgers?

Oh, Johannson.

Oh, yeah?

I don't think I got very
far with your mother.

You were perfect. Now, look.

Here are the keys
to my father's car.

You sure you don't want
me to drive you down there?

No. I can find the way.

And, Donald, you'll
bring your mother's car

- and meet me for lunch, right?
- Yeah, right.

What time should
the rehearsal be over?

It'll be over at about 5:00.

Good, because the folks are
planning to take us to dinner tonight,

and I don't want to disappoint
them if we don't have to.

Oh, we won't. Besides,
I'll even be finished earlier.

I mean, the
rehearsal's just for me.

I'm the visiting actress.

Everybody else has been
rehearsing together for a week.

Now, you remember
how I told you to go?

I got it. Mickey's Delicatessen.

Wh-What?

Mickey's Delicat...
That's in New York.

I know, but that's how you
get to the theater from here.

What?

Well, the directions you gave me

to get to the theater
from here are the same

as from my apartment as
to Mickey's Delicatessen.

Ann.

Well, you said, go left 3
blocks down this street,

then turn right at
the fifth traffic signal,

then left for 20 blocks,
and then right at the corner.

Very good.

As you were saying
it, I just made believe

I'd be doing that from my
apartment in New York,

and that would put me right
at Mickey's Delicatessen.

Ann, you're
terrific. Wait, honey.

Listen, I want you to stop
worrying about my mother.

Oh, Donald, I don't
want you to worry about it.

It's my problem
and I'll win her over.

If I don't, what'll it matter?

You'll forget me in a month.

I love you.

Do I also get to kiss the
bride before the wedding?

I'll say.

- Good-bye, Dad.
- Good-bye, sweetie.

Oh, did you tell her about
the new through-way?

What new through-way?

There's a whole new
through-way downtown.

You can't go the
way you used to.

How does she get there now?

Well, she goes down past
your friend Mushy's place,

swings by Carol Drugs and
hits the through-way there.

Then she gets off
down at Frankie's,

you know, where we
used to go for fried catfish?

Turns left and hits the
theater from the other side.

Donald.

A block before Grant's Tomb.

Got it.

Grant who?

Well, you see, Pop,
she's got this system.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, uh, Mom.

Yes, dear.

Mom, can I ask you
an honest question?

Have you ever asked
me any other kind?

Uh, no, I mean, if I ask you...

Yes, I'll give you
an honest answer.

But not now. I
have too much to do.

Mother, you don't
have too much to do.

You used to say that
when I was a kid, too.

What makes you think
you're an old man now?

- Mother.
- Donald, I like Ann.

Now let's finish up here

because I have the
whole house to tidy up.

Mother, I do not get the
feeling that you like her.

Oh, you're being silly.

Why didn't Aunt Belle
come to the party last night?

She was sitting for Maxine.

Oh, come on, Mom.
I know Aunt Belle.

She wouldn't miss
meeting Ann for the world.

If she didn't come
to the party last night,

it wasn't because she
was sitting for Maxine.

Is she coming to dinner tonight?

Maybe she is, and
maybe she isn't.

Okay. All right.

You're not going to give
me a straight answer,

then I guess I'm just going
to have to make you cry.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
my first grade play,

and how you always cry
anytime anybody talks about it.

Oh, that was just
an old family joke,

and it never was true.

- Oh.
- If it is, it isn't anymore.

- Oh, it's not, huh?
- No.

Uh-huh. I see, I see.

It was a cute little
show, wasn't it?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Aah, you made my little
black velvet shorts for me,

if I remember right.

But you were too big

for the corduroys
I laid out for you.

Yeah.

I remember how you
always used to talk about

how I held my
little hands in fists

during the whole song, right?

How did I... it was up
here like this, wasn't it?

Real tight... how was it?

Something like that.

Yeah.

♪ Little duckie duddle ♪

♪ Went wading in a puddle ♪

♪ Went wading in a puddle ♪

♪ Oh, lit... ♪

Yes, Aunt Belle is
going to be there tonight.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

She's giving one of her
famous surprise dinners

to meet Ann, right?

That's right, and she
asked that it be kept a secret.

And I do think that's
the very least we can do,

since she's giving the party.

Fine, fine, fine. I
don't see any reason

to ruin Aunt Belle's surprise.

Ann will not act
any differently,

whether it was
a surprise or not.

You cannot intimidate
my beautiful lady.

Fine.

Then you won't tell her.

No, no, no, no. Ann
may enjoy the surprise.

But I think you
should know one thing.

If I see Aunt Belle
about to hurt Ann,

I will interrupt by
hurting Aunt Belle.

You see, I know her weak spot.

What weak spot?

Her head, and I
will hit her on it.

I can't believe it.

Audrey looked great yesterday.

Well, what happened to her?

One day before the
show's supposed to open,

my star comes down
with the measles.

Oh, poor Audrey.

Poor Audrey?

Hey, Ann.

Look, uh, you know
this play well enough.

Can you get up on the part?

By tomorrow night?

Why not?

Oh, Mrs. Hollinger and
Aunt Belle is why not.

I can handle any other
excuse, but what is that?

I just couldn't do it.

I've just got so
much on my mind.

I really appreciate
you wanting me to,

but... but I just...
I just couldn't.

Couldn't you use the understudy?

Well, it's a shame.

All right.

Uh, Jeannie?

Coming.

Yes, John?

Uh, Audrey's got the measles.

The measles, really?

Wow.

Uh, aw.

So you'd better get
over to wardrobe

and see if the stuff fits you.

Okay, right away.

Thanks, John, thanks.

The measles.

Hey, Stan. Hi.

Hi, Les, how are you?

Uh, pardon me. Is
that Stan Musial?

Yeah, that's Stan Musial.

How is everything going tonight?

Good. Very good.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I'm from New York.
- Oh, that's great.

Well, I mean,
actually, I'm from here,

but I live in New York.

I'm just here now, that is.

I have this rule about
not making sense

when I'm talking to a hero.

I'm Stan Musial.

Oh, well, then, I have
the wrong person.

No, no, no. I'm Don Hollinger.

Stan, it's a pleasure
to meet you.

Don, how are you?
Nice seeing you.

Thank you, very much.

- Hi, honey.
- Hi. Hi, sweetheart.

Uh, Stan, I'd like you
to meet my fiancée.

Honey, this is Stan Musial.

Hello.

Stan, this is Ann Marie.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you.

"Stan the Man."

It's nice to meet you, too.

The Cards.

Oh. Oh.

You're one of Donald's
poker playing buddies.

I never had the pleasure,

but I used to play
a little baseball.

Oh, for heaven's
sakes, of course.

You're the Stan Musial.

Oh, Mr. Musial, I'm
sorry. Forgive me.

You played with the
Yankees, didn't you?

Well, only on my nights off.

Excuse me, Mr. Musial,

there's a long-distance
call for you.

Yes, thank you. Excuse me.

Uh, thank you very much, Stan.

Thank you.

It was the Yankees.

It wasn't.

We're in St. Louis.

Of course, it was the
St. Louis, uh, Bears.

I mean, St. Louis Cardinals.

"Stan the Man" Musial
from the St. Louis Cardinals.

Get him back, I'll throw
myself at his mercy.

Honey, I'm sure he loves
you just the way you are.

Oh, Donald. I'm doing
some great job in St. Louis,

of alienating your
mother and Stan Musial.

And Stan Musial did it.

What?

Everybody here loves
Stan Musial, right?

And, why? Because he's a star.

He wasn't the second
lead on the baseball team.

Stan Musial isn't
the queen's sister.

Stan Musial is the queen.

Shh.

Honey, what are
you talking about?

I'm talking about being

the star of The
Queen of Diamonds.

But I thought...

Your mother might
say "My son's fiancée

is the second lead in
The Queen of Diamonds."

But I'll bet she'd say
"My future daughter-in-law

is the star of The
Queen of Diamonds."

I'll see you later.

When I phoned my mom

and told her I was
doing the lead,

she almost fainted.

I think I've got most
of the lines down.

You're great, that's good.

Who would ever think that
I'd end up with the lead?

Wow.

All right, places.

John, could I just talk to
you for a minute, please?

Now what? Don't tell me you're
coming down with something.

I'm fresh out of understudies.

No. I just want to talk to
you for a minute, please.

- Sure, sure.
- Excuse us, Dave.

Come on, over here.
All right, what is it, Ann?

John, uh, well...
Come on, out with it.

Well, John, I've
changed my mind.

Could I please play the lead?

Well, that's great.

But after what
you said last night,

you think you can get up
on it by tomorrow night?

Oh, I know I can.

I'll stay all day. I
learn it by tonight.

I knew all the scenes already
that she was in with me.

I only have about
20 pages left to learn.

Well, that's great.

Oh, John, thanks.

You've saved my pre-marriage.

- You're, uh, pre-marriage?
- Yeah.

I'm ready to rehearse it.

All right, kids. Let's go.

Hey, Jeannie, wait a minute.

Listen. Let me just
explain something to you.

It's okay. I mean, you're
the New York actress.

Oh, it has nothing
to do with that.

I know you must be
awfully disappointed.

I'm going to feel
like such a fool.

I only called the
whole immediate world.

Believe me, if this
had anything to do

with my career as an actress,

I never would've done this.

You don't owe me an explanation.

Oh, yes, I do. I-I
really feel that I do.

This has everything to do
with my career as a wife.

A wife?

Yeah, you see,

I've got this future
mother-in-law and aunt-in-law

that aren't exactly
my biggest fans.

And they'll be impressed
if you get the lead.

I don't know.

I've tried everything else,

and nothing else seems to work.

I really am sorry.

All right, kids, let's go.

Bill, dear.

Yes, Jane, darling?

You remember, sweetheart,
when we first got married?

How we said we'd never
keep anything from each other,

no matter what?

That's right, honey.
Let's clear the air.

Right, because we said

that's the only way
our marriage would last,

by never keeping any
secrets from each other.

That's right, beloved.

It is right, dear,
and that's why

I have something I
really must tell you now

because we did agree to it.

Oh, Jane.

You're keeping our
marriage together.

What is it?

Well, this morning,

I suddenly realized
something that I felt.

And I just had to tell you

because, well,
if I didn't tell you,

I'd be breaking my
promise to tell you.

And then our marriage
would just start falling apart.

How true.

What is it sweet?

I hate you, Bill.

I really hate you.

I just suddenly
realized it this morning,

that I totally and
completely hate you,

everything about you.

So you said that, and
you cleared the air.

But, please forgive me.

Why do you say that?

I've realized in
the past week or so

that I hate you, too.

But I kept it to myself.

Naughty, naughty.

Oh, I know, I know.

But I didn't want to hurt you.

And that's why
I didn't tell you.

Oh, sweetheart, thank you.

I feel better.

Of course you do. It's
all out in the open now.

Oh, Bill, that's why our
marriage is so marvelous.

We can talk to each other.

Curtain.

Aw, kids, that was just
great, terrific, believe me.

I want to go back to scene 2...

Oh, wait. Could I just
make a phone call first?

Oh, sure, go ahead. But
make it snappy, honey.

- Thank you.
- Look, uh...

Hello.

Donald, hi.

I've got some terrific
news to tell you.

I'm going to be the
star of the show.

Not the second
lead, but the star.

Listen, Donald. Tell
your mother, okay?

I thought maybe, you know,
that it'd make her proud.

Honey, that's terrific.
What happened?

Well, the girl who was
going to star in it got sick.

But now I'm gonna have to
rehearse all day and all night, too.

Uh, well, won't you
get a dinner break?

No, I won't.

But your parents
will understand.

Donald, please apologize
to them for me, okay?

Listen, I got to run.

Uh, honey, honey, wait a minute.

Honey, tonight, uh,
is, um... What? What?

Well, uh, nothing,
honey, nothing.

It is something.

Well, that depends on how
you feel about Aunt Belle.

Oh, is she going to be there?

Look, sweetheart,
you're an actress,

and Aunt Belle is
a pain in the neck.

I love you. You go
back to work, okay?

Bye.

What was all that about?

Uh, that was about you, and Ann,

and Aunt Belle,
and me, and love.

That was a great
phone conversation.

I was the only one in
America left out of it.

Look, darling...
Darling is no answer.

I think you've got me there.

But I hardly know the girl.

That's a lie!

I think you've
got me there, too.

All right, Jeannie, you with us?

I'm sorry.

All right. Go on
back, we'll try it again.

Give her the cue.

I think you've
got me there, too.

Hi, darling. Who's this?

The car is outside.

Oh, right. I'm sorry, John.

My mind's somewhere else.

Could we just take a
couple minutes break?

Yeah.

Come on, Jeannie.
Let's have some coffee.

She is late, isn't she, Donald?

She's only late if she's coming.

If she doesn't come,
she will not be late.

She will simply not be here.

Is this what your
life is going to be,

married to a chorus girl?

Aunt Belle, she
is not a chorus girl.

She is an actress,

and frankly, I think she'd
make a pretty great chorus girl.

You mean it's possible
she won't be here?

Yes, Aunt Belle, it's possible.

I told her about tonight,

including the fact that
you were going to be here,

but I also told her
not to worry about it

if she couldn't make it.

Well, obviously,
she can't make it,

and she's not worrying about it.

Of course, her
future relatives-to-be

in little St. Louis,
don't bother.

After all, she is a
New York actress.

Hi, everybody. Sorry I'm late.

- Hello, darling.
- Hi, darling.

- Hello, Dad.
- Hi, sweetie.

- Hi, Mom.
- Ann.

And you must be Aunt Belle.

Yes, I am.

Well, Aunt Belle, I
know how you feel,

and I know how
you must be feeling,

and how you must've been feeling

So I want to put you
at ease right away.

I like you.

I like your looks,

and I like that you wanted to
have this little dinner for me.

And I like your relatives,

and I especially
love your nephew.

So, uh, don't worry. You passed.

Now, Donald, why don't you
call over that baseball player.

I'm starved.

Well, you did it, my
lovely future wife.

Not only did you win
over the Rock of Gibraltar,

but old stone-face, as well.

I'd never seen so much love

ooze out of Aunt
Belle in my life.

And you know what?
She is the worst oozer.

Boy, when she
likes, she really likes.

She told me her
whole life story.

Yeah? Anything in it?

Well, the part about
meeting me was the highlight.

That's a coincidence, it's
the highlight of my life, too.

You know, they were
really impressed with you

giving up a starring role
just to have dinner with them.

Oh, Donald. I didn't give it up
just to have dinner with them.

I really gave it up

because, well, I felt
sorry for Jeannie,

and a little ashamed of
myself for being so selfish.

I mean, it's one thing

to have your relatives
make me crazy,

but it's another if it causes me

to hurt somebody else.

Well, honey,
whatever the reasons,

you're terrific.

Donald, I think you should
let Ann get some sleep.

After all, she will be
onstage tomorrow night.

And by the way, Ann,

if I liked you
before, and I did,

I love you now.

That was a beautiful
thing you did, child.

Thank you, Mom.

Goodnight.

- Goodnight, Mom.
- Goodnight.

Well, are you finally convinced

that my mother loves you?

- Yes, I am.
- Well, good.

Then can I ask you a question?

What?

Why does your father hate me?

All right, this is what you do.

You write the alphabet
down the side of the paper.

A, B, C, D, all the way
down the side of the paper.

You mean each letter
under the other one?

- Like this?
- Yeah, that's right.

Now, after that, we're
going to make up a sentence,

and we're going to write it

vertically down the
side of the paper

right next to the
letters in the alphabet.

Like, we'll use a sentence, um,

"Now is the time
for all good men

to come to the aid
of their country."

See? You're going to
write that vertically here.

"Now is the time
for all good men..."

- Oh, yeah.
- So that the "N" from "now"

is next to the "A",
forming the initials A.N.

Whose initials?

Anyone's initials.

Well, they're not mine.
My initials are A.M.

Honey, you are forming initials,

and I'm forming initials.

And the object of the game is

to think of people's names
to go with those initials.

Like, look, look.

If you had an "S"
from the alphabet,

And an "M" from a sentence,

the "M" next to the "S",

it would form the initials S.M.

Stan Musial.

Oh, oh, I got it.

Oh, I know. A.N., Arnold Nash.

Who's Arnold Nash?

Arnold Nash, A.N. I
went to school with him.

Honey, you can't
use Arnold Nash.

Nobody's ever heard of him.

Well, I heard of him,
and now you heard of him.

Who else matters?

Unless you think I'm lying
and making up Arnold Nash.

All right, all right.

Arnold Nash is acceptable.

Who's your A.N.?

Alex Nesterenko.

Alex Nesterenko.

Yeah, he's a hockey
player for Detroit.

Oh, come on, Donald,

just because I made
up Arnold Nash...

I'm not going to
play this with you.

That's it. Add this to poker.

These are two
games we never play,

we'll never have an argument.

Billy Olsen.

Who's Billy Olsen?

Billy Olsen, I went to
high school with him.

He used to go with Charlene
Walters, my best friend.

Oh, my gosh. Charlene Walters,

C.W., right under B.O.

Charlene Walters.

What a fantastic
coincidence, Donald.

B.O. and C.W.

right underneath
each other like that.

I told you we were going
to have an argument.

We should've stopped.

We're not having an argument.

Well, we will now.

Why?

Because Charlene
Walters was my C.W., too.

Oh.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ Diamonds,
daisies, snowflakes ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Chestnuts,
rainbows, springtime ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She's mine alone,
but luckily for you ♪

♪ If you find a girl to love ♪

♪ Only one girl to love ♪

♪ Then she'll be
That Girl, too ♪

That Girl!