That Girl (1966–1971): Season 1, Episode 10 - Break a Leg - full transcript

Just a minute.

Hi, Judy. Here are the towels.

Oh, they look brand new.

They are, but we never use them.

Boy, you've really
fixed this place up nice.

Yeah, she's gonna love it.

Oh, what time is she coming?

In about an hour.

Hope she gets here
before I have to go to work.

This is so dramatic.

Judy, there is nothing
dramatic about working



in a bargain basement.

No, I mean, two ex-schoolmates,

acted together in college,
then one is a salesgirl

and the other has a
part in a Broadway show.

That's not dramatic.
That's tragic.

You're upset.

No!

I'm delighted for her.

The fact that she's
gonna make it now

and I haven't doesn't
bother me at all.

In fact, I'm really
thrilled for her.

I really am.

That's why I don't
understand why

every time I think
about her in the play



and me in the basement,
I get these terrible pains

in my stomach.

I know exactly what you mean.

I had the same thing when
my best girlfriend, Snooky,

got married before I did.

Yeah, I-I guess it is
sort of the same thing.

But, you know, it
all worked out great

because Snooky and her husband

introduced me to Leon.

Say, maybe she can help you.

Snooky? No, your friend.

I bet she knows a lot of important
people in show business now.

Judy, I wouldn't
dream of having Sandy

do anything like that.

You ever see All About Eve?

Yeah.

Now, there was a
girl who really knew

how to get what she wanted.

And everybody hated
her, including me.

Okay.

It's just a thought
to try and help you

get rid of the pains.

It'll make them worse.

Well, what does
she look like? Who?

Eve.

I mean, Sandy.

Look, I took this
out this morning.

Look at all these
funny pictures.

Isn't she pretty?

Oh, real glamorous.

And that's me.

This girl? No, that girl.

♪♪

Won't Sandy be
uncomfortable on this thing?

No, I'm gonna be
uncomfortable on this thing.

She gets the bed.

You're a good person.

Oh, that's her.

Oh! Ha-Ha!

You look terrific.

Oh! Hello.

Sandy, you look great.

Let me take these.

Oh, I'm so glad to be here.

Oh.

Oh, Sandy. Uh, this
is Judy Bessemer.

She and Leon live next door. Hi.

He's my husband.

An obstetrician.

How convenient.

Not really. He fainted
when their son was born.

Oh, Annie.

Sandy.

Oh. I'm so happy to see you.

Well, I-I guess I'll
see you two later

when you're through
with your reminiscing.

Thanks a lot. Okay.

Bye. Nice to have met you.

Bye.

You made it.

You really made it.

The way the plane
was bouncing around,

for a minute, I
didn't think I would.

No, silly. I mean, to
Broadway, this part.

Let's wait till opening night
and see if I really make it.

How about you?

Oh, me? I am busy.

Frantic, actually.

Oh, good. Uh-hmm.

Offered parts all the time.

Great. Are you doing any TV?

Well, just last month, there
was this big commercial.

Oh, I didn't see it.

I didn't get it.

Oh, Sandy. I don't know
why I'm trying to kid you.

Most acting I've done
lately is the last two minutes.

Hey, Annie, I know. I
mean, until I got this job,

I was... It'll happen.

Just keep your nose
to the grindstone.

And end up with
a ground-up nose.

Let's unpack.

Okay. But then I have
to get down to the city.

Wanna come? Oh,
you're kidding? Really?

Oh, Sandy, I'd love it. I
think I'll wear my gray...

Where are you
going? To get dressed.

Uh-huh. I thought you were
gonna help me get unpacked.

Well, I am. But first,
I got to get dressed.

We're gonna go to the
theater. What will I wear?

I'll wear, I'll wear
my gray coat dress.

No, my pink suit.

The last time I was in a
theater, I wore an usher's outfit.

I'll wear my gray coat.

Alright, that's
it for now, kids.

Let's take ten minutes.

Oh, my gosh, Sandy.

You're just terrific.

Do you think so? Uh-huh.

I wish you were one of the opening
night critics. Oh, will you stop it.

You're just gonna be marvelous.
I'm gonna tell you something.

Just seeing the name on
that door gives me the chills.

Annie. What?

There's something
I want to say to you

and I should've said it
back at the apartment.

Well, say it.

I'm afraid you
might be insulted.

Oh, you don't like your bed.

There's not enough room
in the closet. I knew it.

No, it's about the play.

Oh, I shouldn't hang around you.

I make you nervous.
Come on in here.

What is it, Sandy?
What did I do?

I need an understudy.

You do.

W-what?

And you want me to
be your understudy?

I knew you'd be insulted.

Insulted?

Oh, oh, Sandy!

Look how insulted I am.

I mean, a Broadway
understudy, right?

Right there, out on
Broadway, in a Broadway show.

It's happened a
hundred times, right?

The star gets sick.
It's opening night.

The understudy goes out
there and knocks them dead.

Well, I can't do that.

Why?

Did you hear how
excited I was just then?

When I was out there
knocking them dead,

and you were sick?

Oh, Sandy.

How could I be your understudy?

Somebody's got to
do it. I want it to be you.

Yeah, but it shouldn't
be a close friend.

I mean, the whole thing
is loaded with pitfalls.

Well, if we know that,
we won't fall into them.

Are you sure this
is what you want?

Positive.

Oh, gosh.

Hey, what are we talking about?

I don't even have the part yet.

The company manager
is my boyfriend.

I'll set up an audition.

Oh, Sandy.

Oh, thank you.

Just make sure I never get sick.

Look, Martin, I'm
a bona fide agent.

I handle them
all. Big and small.

Would I send you a
drunk to play a drunk?

I mean, intentionally.

Look, they told me
he was on the wagon.

Yeah, that's the trouble
with this business.

You can't trust anybody.
Trust me, Martin.

I'll send you somebody else.

Right.

You know, next time you
complain about my using the phone

in your office, I'm gonna
remind you of these 12 calls.

Petty. You're a petty person.

Cute, but petty.

Well, you looked at
the script. Should I do it?

Yeah, it's a good part.
The best part I ever got you.

George, I got me this part.

Look, what's the difference?
It's all in the family.

Anyway, I'm not up for the part.

I'm up for the understudy.

After your friend falls
out the window here,

sweetheart, you'll
be up for the part.

My friend is not gonna
fall out the window.

Right. She'll have to
be pushed. Oh, George.

Hey, it's simple.
She'll never suspect.

You'd say, "Hey,
look at the sparrows".

Boom. She's gone.
You got the part.

You know, you're a
fiend. Cute but fiendish.

When's the audition?

Well, Sandy's trying
to set it up for tomorrow.

Good. Let me hear you read.

Why?

Why? Cause I happen to know
what's good and what's bad. Now read.

Now, Marianne. Now, Marianne.

Stop it. You're
acting outrageously.

Marianne, please.

Someone's gonna get hurt.

Will you please,
please, listen to me?

We're listening to you.

Oh, Sandy.

I didn't know you
were... Oh, we were.

Well, come on in.

Uh, this is, Jim Perryman.

The fellow I was
telling you about.

Uh, this is George
Lester, my friend.

I'm not her friend.
I'm her agent.

He's more my friend.

Hi.

Well, I was just
reading the part.

Yes, I know. We
heard you outside.

Uh, ten apartments down.

Well, I read loud
the first time.

First time? You're kidding me.

That's very good
for the first time.

Hey, how about that, Sandy?

Oh, how about that?

Uh, well, uh, actually,
I was thinking before

that I'm really not
right for the part.

I mean, I'm, uh,
shorter than Sandy

and, and I'm a brunette.

And Sandy is a nice,
willowy blonde type.

Isn't that funny?

You know, because we
originally had a brunette in mind

until Sandy came along.

You never told me that.

Uh, well, honey, I didn't,

I didn't think it was important.

Look, Jim, we can save a lot of
time, you and me, with this audition.

I mean, Ann is here now.
And George is just leaving

'cause he's got a very
important appointment.

No, no, wait a
minute. Wait a minute.

Maybe, you know,
maybe we can do this.

How about it, Ann?

Sandy, you got a moment?

Oh, surely.

Excuse us.

So, they originally
wanted a brunette.

Oh, Sandy. I feel so guilty.

Well, that's a step
in the right direction.

But I don't even know why.

I mean, I just wanted
to be prepared.

Oh, you were prepared.

Script in hand,
agent at your side.

Well, he was just
helping me with my lines.

Not your lines, Ann, my lines.

Of course, they're
your lines, Sandy.

I told you last night
it wouldn't work.

We didn't even get to the
place where we thought

it wouldn't work,
And it didn't work.

So, I'm gonna go tell Mr. Perryman
that it just doesn't work.

Wait a minute. You know what?

You're gonna hit me?

No.

Ann, we've talked about pitfalls

and I fell into one.

You've every right in the
world to learn those lines.

Now, go on out there.

Thanks, Sandy. Aren't
you gonna come?

No, I think I'll
make you nervous.

I'll go take a
shower and cool off.

Now go out there
and get the job.

I'll try.

As the understudy.

So, this is my decision.

And it's final.

I just came to say
goodbye, Marianne.

Just be good to him.

He's a good man.

Well, George, let's go.

I was that bad?

No, you were that good.

I'm gonna make a
deal with your agent.

And I'll be tough.
Charming, but tough.

You mean that's it?

You mean I've got it?

Yes, you got the part.

Oh. Oh, I'm so excited.
Wait till I tell Sandy.

Oh, thank you, Jim.

Hey, what about me?

George thanks you, too.

Ingrate. A petty ingrate.

Oh, I meant...

Just tell Sandy that I'll
call her later on, alright?

Right. Right. Thanks so much.

Uh-hmm.

Sandy! Sandy, I got the job!

What? I got the job!

Oh, great! I knew you'd get it.

Oh, Sandy, I'm so excited!

Just think, I'm gonna be a
real understudy on Broadway.

Annie, I think you... Ow!

Sandy, what's the matter?

Oh, Sandy, you're really
lucky you didn't get hurt.

I would've been
luckier not to fall.

Why don't you have
a rubber shower mat?

I do. It's in the kitchen.

Oh, I was cleaning it for you.

I'll get it.

I'm finished. And
there's a draft.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I told the darn
janitor to fix this.

It's been stuck for five weeks.

Hey, you could catch a cold.

I'll get you a blanket.

Why don't I just move away?

Here, Sandy. I'll just cover
you up nice and warm.

Here.

What's the matter?

It's wool! Of course.

It's gonna be nice
and... I'm allergic!

Oh, gee, Sandy,
I didn't remember.

Big, red blotches all over.

Ha ha! That's right.

The Scarlet Pimpernel, Hahaha.

I'm sorry. Here, just sit down.

Come on, right back here.

I'll put this on you.

There's no wool in this, Sandy.

There's not a sheep
within five miles of here.

There you are. Nice and comfy.

There, are you okay?

Terrific.

How long have you, uh,
officially been my understudy?

Gee, about ten minutes.

Ha-Ha-Ha.

I'll never make it
till opening night.

Flowers for the star. What kind?

Oh, you're not allergic.

How do you know? They're paper.

I wasn't taking any chances.

Thanks. How do you feel?

Awful. It's just opening
night butterflies.

Only I think they're going
from my stomach to my head.

How's your lip? Oh, it's fine.

Of course, at home, we
usually take the sheriff's badge

out of the corn flakes
before we serve them.

Wow! Now I know why my mother
fainted at my graduation. Why?

She was so excited for somebody.

You know, you're nice.

Lethal, but nice.

Well, I better get
out of here before

I do anything destructive.

Good luck, Sandy.

Oh, Ann, what did you do?

What'd I do? You said good luck.

And good luck is bad
luck on opening night.

Oh, gee, Sandy, I'm sorry.

Uh, what do you say?

Break a leg or something.

Break a leg is good luck?

Well, in that case, Sandy,
you know that I hope

you break both legs.

Uh, coming from
you, I think I prefer, uh,

good luck.

Boy, almost jinxed it, huh?

Oh, you've done it again, Ann.

What'd I do? You whistled.

Whistling backstage
opening night

is terrible bad luck.

Listen, I'm really sorry.

I just don't know
all these things.

Uh, what do I do?
Oh, I don't know.

Spin around three
times and say a bad word

and spit over your shoulder.

What for? Well, that
takes away the bad luck.

Sure. Sure. Right.

One, two...

Not in here. Oh, sure.
Right. W-w-where?

Out on the hall. Right.

Out on the hall. Don't worry.

Was that spin, spit, bad?

No. Spin, bad, spit.

Right. I got it.

What happened?

Seven years' bad luck.

Oh, Sandy.

Why don't you spit on it?

Uh, now, Sandy, don't get upset.

I'm the one that broke it.

But it's my mirror.
What does that mean?

Well, it means at least
you'll get three-and-a-half.

Ha ha ha. I'll take it all.

Listen, don't be worried.

Uh, break a leg.
I mean good luck.

I mean, I meant break a leg.

Bye.

Hi. Oh, hi.

I heard someone at your door.

It's so early. I didn't
think it was you.

I thought it was a gangster.

No, it's me.

How was the play?

Oh, gosh.

I was so excited just being
there, I don't even know.

Sandy was great.

Well, I thought there was
an opening night party?

Oh, there is.

I just didn't really
feel like I belong there.

You're in the cast.

Well, you know, Judy, an
understudy really isn't in the cast.

So you should've
gone as Sandy's friend.

Uh, I stayed away
as Sandy's friend.

I probably would've
spilled something on her.

You know what I did tonight?

You went to the play.

No, I mean, what I did to Sandy.

I broke her
dressing room mirror.

On purpose?

Who knows?

I'd been such a klutz
since I got this job,

I'm beginning to wonder.
You want some coffee?

No, thanks. I gotta go.

You know what I think?

I think you're being
too self-conscious.

You know what I think?

I'm beginning to wonder
about my subconscious.

What's wrong with it?

Well, Judy, don't you see?

I mean, I'm her understudy.

And if anything should happen
to her, I'd be the one to benefit.

Ann, you wouldn't
do anything like that.

Well, I know I wouldn't.

But, you see, my
subconscious really isn't me.

Who is it?

A rat.

I don't believe that.

Well, neither do I, really.

I mean, if it's my subconscious,

I'd like to think
it's a nice person.

You bet it is.

Well, you should never
have taken that dumb job.

You know, Judy, you're right.

And when Sandy comes
home, I'm gonna tell her

to find somebody else.

Good idea. Just go
back to being a friend.

Right.

Then, if I kill her, I
don't have to feel guilty.

Two-three. One-two-three.

Two-three. Two-three-four-five.

Oh, two-three.
Three-one-two-three-two.

Oh, hi. Hi.

What are you doing
home so early?

I came home to die.

What, are you sick?

Well, that's the
first step till I die.

What's it, Sandy?
What's the matter?

Uh, well, it could
be a lot of things.

It could be open
windows, wool blankets.

Uh, maybe a little black magic.

Now look, Sandy.

I've got to talk to you.

In the morning. I'm too sick.

Oh, uhm.

Sandy, what's the matter?

Oh, I'm sick. I need some water.

Here, let me get it.
You go back to bed.

Don't touch me.

Oh, Sandy.

Oh, Sandy.

Sandy, you are sick. Satisfied?

I-I'm gonna go next door
and get Dr. Bessemer,

Judy's husband. I'd
rather have a stranger.

I don't know any strangers.

Now, don't move.

I can't move. Now, don't move.

Now, don't worry.

Judy! Judy!

Hi, Ann. What is
it? It's... uh, Sandy.

She's really sick.
She needs a doctor.

Yeah? Hey, Leon's a doctor.

Leon, get your
bag and come here.

What do you think
it is? I don't know.

But she thinks it's
mental telepathy.

Sounds terrible.

Yeah, it can kill a friendship.

Hi.

Oh, Leon. Can you
come right over?

It's Sandy. She
just feels awful.

Uh, well, uh, how far
apart are the pains?

About two feet. Two feet?

Yeah, one's in her head,
and one's in her stomach.

Well, then, she's
not having a baby?

Oh, no. She's just sick.

Oh, good. I mean,
it'll be easier.

Sandy, this is Dr. Bessemer.

Oh, I'm thrilled.

You've got a fever.

Is there anything
I could do to help?

No, thanks.

I, uh, read the
review of your play.

What do you think it is? A flop.

But that's only one review.

Uh, no, I mean Sandy.

Oh, it could be just a bad cold

from a draft or something.

Don't say that. Hmm.

Hmm, what?

You seemed more
anxious than she is.

I am.

A hundred and two.

Oh, great.

What is it? A hundred and two.

Leon, I heard that. I
mean the whole thing.

What does she have? Uh, measles.

The measles? The measles?

How could I have
given her the measles?

I couldn't have given
her the measles.

Sure, you could.

How?

When you had them.
I didn't have them.

Right. Then you couldn't
have given them to her.

Measles, that's great.

Hey, but Sandy, it is great.

I-I mean, in a way.

I couldn't have given
you the measles.

That's right. The measles.

I got sick by myself.

No, someone definitely
gave them to you.

Yeah, but not her.

Oh, Leon, that's
really terrific.

I don't know what's so terrific.

In an adult, they
can be very painful.

Not as painful
as losing a friend.

Right, Sandy?

Right. This part is great.

But I still have the measles.

What are we gonna do?

Oh, she's gonna
stay in bed for a week.

And she's gonna
do a Broadway play.

Me?

Ho ho. But Sandy, I...

No "Sandy, I". That's
what understudies are for.

Now go.

Really, Sandy? Go.

With your blessings?

With my blessing.

Oh, Ann.

Uh, break a leg.

Hey, are you anybody?

Well, not really.

It doesn't matter.

Can I have your autograph?

Hey, wait a minute.
Can I have yours?

Why?

Well, you're the first
one to ever ask for mine.

Bye.

Can I help you, Miss?

Oh, hi, Pops.

The name is Wesley.

Oh.

I've got to see the stage
manager right away.

He's not here.

Oh.

Well, uh, Sandra Stafford,
the girl I understudy,

she's sick. So I
have to go on tonight.

She's got the
measles. I didn't do it.

I didn't even see her
until five days ago.

But the show must go on.

The show don't must go on
unless someone pays to see it.

What do you mean?

The only people
going out there tonight

are the stage hands
who will be striking the set.

Striking the set?

But the show just
opened last night.

Uh, correction, Miss.
Opened and closed.

Closed? You haven't
read the notices?

They weren't good?

I've had better notices
from the gas company.

Oh. Well.

Hey, would it be okay if I just
went out there for a minute?

Take your time.

We ain't booked here until
the Shrine Convention in May.

Thanks a lot.

Thanks a lot, sir.
You can call me Pops.

Ha-Ha-Ha.

You like the theater, huh?

Uh-hmm.

You've been around a lot?

Well, no.

I've got a feeling you will be.

I can tell by that
look in your eyes.

I'll be seeing you.

I hope so.

Hey, I'll see you in May.

Why? My dad's a Shriner.

Gee, Sandy. What do
you do in a case like this?

You cry a lot.

Hey, you have got

nothing to be upset about.

Your reviews were great.

It was just the play they hated.

Boy, they really
hated that play.

I really did want you
to go on at least once.

Oh, don't worry.

I'm still your understudy.

For what? Measles.

I go on in ten days.