That '70s Show (1998–2006): Season 7, Episode 9 - You Can't Always Get What You Want - full transcript

Man, I can't believe
Thanksgiving's tomorrow.

It's such a special time of
the year, when like to give thanks,

get Fez drunk and dress
him up like a lady pilgrim.

Well,

the joke's on you
because this year

I'm getting into the
dress before I get drunk.

Ah, touch?.

Well, so long
as it happens.

I had Thanksgiving dinner last
night with Brooke and the baby

so I could be here tonight
for Fez and the dress.

Hey guys. I got something really
different planned for Thanksgiving.



But instead of
telling you about it,

I'm gonna let it
wash over you.

But, Eric, maybe you could let some
soap and water wash over you,

'cause since you've been out
of work, you're a little bummy

welcome to the
grand illusion

come on in and see
what's happenin'

pay the price get the
ticket for the show...

Is that Styx?

And they just announced
a concert Thanksgiving night.

Now if we camp
out for tickets,

by tomorrow, we could be watching
five guys in spandex suits

shaking their hair
sweat on teenage girls.

Forman.

even if I liked Styx,



which would mean I
was born without ears,

I still can't go. My dad wants me and Angie
to open the record store by midnight tomorrow.

Oh, man, Angie
is so pretty.

You know, looking at Angie
is like looking at...

Something else pretty.

Well said.

Donna, you in for Styx?

Eric, I'm a DJ. I can't be
seen at a Styx concert.

It's in my contract.

Well, Fez, what do you say,
my man from another land?

Eric, where I come
from, we have a saying.

Ecch. Styx.

Remember, kids,
music is joy, comfort,

A Band Aid for a
wounded soul.

And if you get people to believe that crap,
you're gonna sell a lot of records.

Here are the
keys to the store.

Thank you.

I just figure whoever hasn't been
in prison should hold the keys.

I thought
she'd do that,

So I made an
extra set for you.

Everybody gets keys.

Thank you.

You don't know
me very well,

but you're gonna have to
make three of everything.

I'm starting to get you
a little bit. You're funny.

All right, well as co-manager
of this record store,

My first order is...

A pizza.

Are you crazy? We have
to start unloading records.

Hey, look, I don't know
about these other jokers,

But I am
here to help,

So, if you need to get anything off of one of these
high shelves, I'll be happy to watch you reach for it.

All right guys, we got a ton of
box to unpack, posters to hang,

so let's
hit it.

I love
hittin' it.

I love that you taught
me to love hittin' it.

You know, this is the first
time we've ever hit it at

Hey, this place doesn't
have a name yet.

you should call it
"hot wax records,"

but with a z-

Recordzzz.

Z's are so
Rock'n'roll.

"funk man's
house of funk."

"funk man's funky
house of funk."

"Funky man's funky
house of hittin' it."

You guys writing
this done or what?

Steven it's
too complicated.

You need something that
sounds hot and upscale.

You should
call it "Jackie".

If you want it
hot and upscale,

you should call
it : "Dijon mustard"

What about, huh,
like "headfood"?

"Headsies."
"The head!"

This is kinda cool.

"The Head."

- "The Head."
- "The Head."

"The Head."

I smell something burning.

That'd be us.

Man.

We just came up with the
best name for the record store.

It's, um..

"The funky mustard house."

I thought we settled
down "Jackie"!

I just had it, and then it
popped out of my head.

That's it!
"Poppers"

This is a chain. All the
stores are called "Grooves."

Oh, that's why
we have that sign.

All right well, let's call it a day
and hit it hard again tomorrow.

Good work
everyone.

Wait. I just
remembered the name.

"Lumpy's."

No, it wasn't
called "Lumpy's."

Well, my store is gonna
be called "Lumpy's."

That 70's Show - Saison 7 Episode 09
"You can't always get what you want."

Traduction par Guzo
Synchro par Kiff

Merci ? Raceman

Pre?asoval / Retiming
blsho

First one here.

Hey, you guys getting in line
for Styx tickets, too?

Yeah, right.

If we weren't late for this
party, we'd kick your ass.

Styx rules.

What was
that, dork?

I said enjoy
your party.

Oh, my god.

Did I miss it? Are
there any tickets left?

Black Sabbath's been
sold out for weeks.

No, Styx.

I prefer a more lush,
orchestral sound.

Yeah, well,
you're the only one.

Just give me
the damn ticket.

Man, Hyde, this listening pit
is an awesome idea.

Yeah, you made a place
for people to hang out,

listen to music and feel
up Angie and stuff.

That's not what
this pit is for, man.

It's for listening to records
and feeling up Jackie and stuff.

Steven's so
innovative.

You know, he designed
this whole thing from scratch.

Um,

this is exactly
Eric's basement.

You're just jealous because Steven's
successful and Eric's all bummy.

What is all this?

What happened to
the soft rock section?

I put it in
the alley.

See, that way, if somebody comes
in asking for Barry Manilow,

I can send 'em outside
and lock the door.

Steven, the store
is very important to me.

When I was 8 years old, Santa asked
me what I wanted for Christmas,

and I said a record store.

You know
what I got?

A pony.

What 8-year-old girl
wants a damn pony?

You know, one year I asked for
a damn pony and got a car.

I just want the
store to be great.

Yeah, well, I think this pit
makes the store great.

Really? Did you go
to business school?

Well, he did a lot of
business at school.

Fine,

I'll get rid of the pit, but I want
that entire wall covered in Zeppelin.

We can't.

You know that research paper that I
gave you that you probably smoked?

Well, it says that Zeppelin
scares people over 30.

Good, because people over
30 don't listen to music.

They move to Florida
to play golf.

Man, Angie is so
awesome and classy.

She's like the first page
of a "playboy" layout.

You know, before
you see her cans.

Do you know that all that stuff
about those girls is made up?

Yeah, they're not
really librarians or

horse trainers
or

scientists.

They're just whores.

I wish someone would
rub my shoulders like this.

Hey,

whatcha cookin',
good-lookin'?

Guess who got a ticket
to see Styx in concert tonight.

Tonight? Honey,
it's Thanksgiving.

Yeah, but this is a
once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Mom, this ticket was
really hard to get.

Was it harder to get

than the holiday traditions this family has built
through decades of love and sacrifice?

Much harder. Thanks
for understanding.

There's my beautiful bride.
I'll be in the garage.

Red.

None of the kids are
coming for dinner tonight.

Laurie's in Canada, Steven has his store,
and now Eric is going to a concert.

There's no point in me
even making my special yams.

What?

Kitty, I love
those yams.

They're among the top three
reasons I married you.

Well, I can't make
them if I'm sad.

Look, I'll tell
you what.

You get started
on the yams,

and I'll go
talk to Eric.

Thanks.

Gosh,

my shoulders are sore
from all this cooking.

Think you could
rub 'em a little?

Kitty, it's Thanksgiving,
not Christmas.

Styx, Kelso?

All right, fine! I like Styx, okay?
And I don't care if anybody knows it!

Well, that's not true.
Don't tell anyone.

Why aren't you putting
the records in the bins?

What bins?

The ones I ordered.

Oh, my god. I never
ordered the bins.

Hmm.

That would never
happen at "Jackie."

What are
we gonna do?

There's no bins.

No bins!

Hey, look, man, I'll take
care of it, all right?

But it's gonna
cost you.

Listening pit
comes back,

Zeppelin goes up
on that wall,

and I want you to remove the smoke
detectors from the back office.

Whatever you want.

Oh, and also,

my creepy friend gets to
hold your hand for two minutes.

That.. That would be me.

All right, back off.

I want to be the first one of
us who gets to touch her.

You, too,
with the Styx?

Donna, it's just a... it's just
a present for my friend, um...

um... F...

Fez.
Damn it.

Outta my way, dad.
Time for me to rock.

You're not goin'
to the concert.

- What? Why not?
- Look.

Every family has its
holiday traditions.

Some sing, others
play charades...

in our family,
someone always cries.

But I'll be damned if it's gonna
be your mother crying tonight.

I can't see
her like that.

I love her.

She threatened not
to make the yams,

Just get the hell
back in the house.

Okay, here's
the situation.

It's Thanksgiving night.

Everything's closed.

We need to find a hundred
record bins by midnight.

It's the same damn
thing every year.

I have a question.

How does hair
know to grow?

And how far inside
your head does it go?

Does it touch
your brain?

Okay. I think we need to get
Jerry Garcia here some coffee.

Let the girl rap.
I was into it.

I like to think
about my head.

The head. That's
the name.

I saved the day.

Know what would be
perfect for the records?

Those boxes that
milk bottles come in.

They're, like,
crates or

crepes.
Crepes!

How good
are crepes?

That'll work, man.
We need, like,

50 empty
milk crates.

Well, how are we
gonna drink all that milk?

Ooh! Wait.

We need 50
boxes of cookies.

No, wastoid.
W-we'll steal the crates.

It's perfect.

Milk crates.

Milk crates.

Milk crates.

Milky craties.

Okay, my valium's
starting to wear off.

What's happening
with those boxes?

Man, we just thought
of the perfect solution.

We're gonna go
get some of those...

- The head.
- Crepes.
- Poppers.

Whatever.
We'll be back.

Why is it every time I leave
the room, you guys do this?

It's Thanksgiving.

Some people bake pies.

We bake ourselves.

Thank you for opening up your
home to me on this special day.

This family
is all about love.

Yep. Spirit-crushing,
tyrannical love.

Drop that tone of voice, or you'll be
wearing that turkey like a football helmet.

Okay, now,

everybody, take a feather
from the paper turkey

and write down something
you're thankful for.

And then we'll all pick feathers
and guess who wrote them.

Any questions?

This is kind of off topic,
but where can I put my belt?

I'll go first.

"I'm thankful for my mother/wife.
"My life is meaningless without her."

Whoopsy.
I got mine.

It would've sounded better
if someone else had read it.

"I'm thankful
you have pecan pie.

"You do have
pecan pie, right?

"Because I turned down an invitation
"that involved pecan pie."

Hmm.

Bob?

"I'm thankful I didn't waste
my day at a really fun concert."

"This way I can work on
becoming a bitter old man"

"whose only happiness
is destroying his son's life."

Kitty, hand me
the turkey.

I think I
got Red's.

Cause the only words
I can repeat are, "Eric, little"

and a word that
starts with "mother."

Mother?
That's nice.

It takes a pretty
hard left turn.

Thanksgiving
is ruined!

Don't look at me. Dad's the
one who cursed on turkey.

Kitty! Bob,

touch my yams and die.

Look at all this
stuff I gotta eat.

Okay, look, I'll distract him.
Jackie, give me your lipstick.

Okay, but you picked a really weird
time to get into makeup, Donna.

I love it when you whore yourself
for the good of the group.

Hey, you.

That's, um,

that's a sexy milk
truck you got there.

Really?

Nah.

Oh, yeah. That big cow on
the side is really, um...

Sexy.

I haven't talked to
a woman in four months.

Oh, come
here, big guy.

She's hugging him. Okay, come on.
Let's grab everything. Hurry up.

Or slow down.

I'd like to see
where this goes.

How could you think it would be
okay to miss Thanksgiving?

You might as well just
rip my heart out and

drown it in my
delicious giblet gravy.

It's not just Thanksgiving.

You used to have
goals and ambition.

But now,

one week you're
chasing butterflies,

the next week, you're skating around
the neighborhood dressed like Liberace.

Did it ever occur to you guys
that I don't know what I'm doing?

Okay?
I'm scared.

Of what, honey? We got rid
of the spooky lamp in your room.

Look, my
whole life,

I've been trying
to please other people.

So I feel like I don't
know who I am

or know what I want
to do with my life.

You need a government
job, like a mailman,

something simple
and repetitive.

No, no, no. You know he doesn't
do well in snow. What about this?

Margie's sonis a chiropractor,
and she seems very happy.

I just...

I don't want to wake
up in five years

and hate my life.

That's unavoidable.

Okay.

I just need
more time to think.

You know what I got
for my 18th birthday?

A draft notice and
a malaria vaccine.

I never had
time to think.

Yeah, but, dad, don't you think
it would've been helpful if you did?

All right, I'll
tell you what.

I'll give you
six months.

But if you haven't picked
something by then, you'll do that...

chiropractic thing that
your mother suggested.

Dad, I-I don't even
know what that is.

Oh, honey, it's
perfect for you.

It's like a doctor, but you
don't have to be as smart.

I can't believe I had
to kiss that milkman.

Donna, you've
done worse for less.

Shut up.

Was it milky?

Shut up.

So what do
you think?

I think I see a lot of
records in milk crates.

Where are the bins like
the other stores have?

- Dad, I forgot to tell you...
- Forgot to tell me what?

Uh, what she forgot to tell you
was that it was my idea.

See, I thought it would look cool.
You know, like we, um,

stole 'em or
something.

Well, I don't much like it,
but we'll give it a shot.

Why is Jackie behind
the cash register?

Hey, funny girl, get your
hands off my money!

That was really
nice of you.

I know, and now
you owe me.

I want black lights,
bigger speakers

and a little thing called
the 5-day weekend.

Hey.

Was Hyde being
mean to you?

You know, I can't, uh, beat him up
for you, but, uh, I can get Donna to.

No, he was great.

It's just, I've been waiting for this day
my whole life, and now I don't know.

I don't know what
to do with myself.

Well,

I think that you need to take some
time for you. And may I suggest

an evening out
with Michael Kelso?

Dinner, drinks and a ride
home not included.

I never did have
a Thanksgiving dinner.

I can buy
you a taco.

Oh, and then we can celebrate like the original
Thanksgiving with the pilgrims and the Mexicans.

Welcome to
the grand illusion

come on in and see
what's happening...

Hey, check it out.
Jackie's rockin' out to styx.

So?

Fez was mouthing
the words.

I...

I thought it was okay now because
Hyde was tapping his foot.

No, no, I was just
squashing a bug.

Donna, you've been kinda
quiet. Are you okay?

I kissed the milkman!

Happy Thanksgiving, forman.