That '70s Show (1998–2006): Season 7, Episode 12 - Don't Lie to Me - full transcript

Hey,

Still mad at me about
the Christmas party?

No. I'm just starting to realize you might
never be the man I dreamed you'd be.

That's the spirit.
Lower your expectations.

Well,

I have one last
wedding thing to return,

And once this is done, the only thing I'll have left
to remind me we almost got married will be you.

Oh...

Well, I wish Eric had
shown up for your wedding.

The sales lady said my mother-Of-The-Groom
dress took 5 pounds off me.

5 pounds!



Okay, what happened
to my nice breakfast?

I thought we were done with
this whole wedding deal.

Women are never
done with it, son.

Anything wrong you do,

They sit on it for
25 years like an egg,

And then it hatches
on super bowl sunday.

Oh, man, I can't believe I have to take
these shoes back to Wanamaker bridal.

Now I have to tell that snot Stacy
Wanamaker that I didn't get married.

Oh, Donna, I'll take
them back for you.

I've always wanted
to meet Stacy Wanamaker.

I mean, she's everything
I've ever wanted to be...

Gorgeous, popular, which,
of course, I already am,

But she's also married

And to a guy who owns a real estate
company that puts her face on his signs.



Oh, she's like
a Kennedy.

Yeah, Stacy Wanamaker
was a high school legend.

All the guys would say,
"I do...

Wanna make her."

I always wish I had a name
that could be done to.

Jackie has
a nice rackie?

I like Jackie
on her backie?

Oh... thanks,
you guys.

Well, thanks for dinner.

Thanks for dessert.

Thanks for breakfast.

Thanks for dessert.

Congratulations, Angie.

You just got four different
kinds of herpes.

Hey, Hyde, I just learned
something very important.

You know that saying,
it's like kissing your sister?

Well, it's totally wrong 'cause
kissing your sister is great.

Oh, oh, there's
Stacy Wanamaker.

Hi.

I'm here to
return these shoes.

- Name?
- Donna Pinciotti.

Good heavens,
these are for a giant.

Were they too big?

Oh, no, no.
The wedding was canceled.

Yeah, the groom said,
"I don't."

Oh, Donna, how awful.

What? Oh, no, no. I--

I just know how complete
being married has made me,

And I always feel so sad when I see girls your age
whose window to find that kind of happiness

Is so, so small.

It is not that small.

Honey, I've seen a lot of girls like you who
wasted years on a guy who never came through,

And before you know it, you're
past your expiration date.

Well, that is not gonna
happen to me because...

I'm still getting married.

Yeah, see, I canceled the other
wedding 'cause I traded in... Up.

- Him.
- Who?

- You.
- What?

Yes.

This is Eduardo
and he's, um...

A prince.

He's the prince of Mexico.

Well, then we are going to make your
wedding the best wedding ever, right, Donna?

Donna?

- Apparently, that's you.
- Oh, yes. What? Yes.

You just have to come to the big
wedding expo this weekend.

Oh, well, that sounds great.
Eduardo and I would love to be there.

Right, Eduardo?

Just a few weeks left to
stretch those wings, huh, toots?

Eduardo!

What? Oh, yes,
my bride. Yes.

That 70's Show - Saison 7 Episode 12
"Don't Lie To Me"

Traduction par Guzo
Synchro par Kiff

Merci ? Raceman

Pre?asoval / Retiming
blsho

Hey.

Oh, Hyde, Angie can't make it
to the movie with you because, uh...

Well, I plumb
wore her out.

Kelso,

Jackie and i are
fighting right now

And I'm in a
really bad mood,

So if you don't stop nailing my sister, I'm gonna
have to smack you in the head with my car.

Actually, you can't do
anything to me because

Because after you stole Jackie from me, we made a
pact not to interfere with each other's pursuit of a chick.

I negotiated the pact,

Which mainly consisted of Kelso
telling me to tell Hyde to sit on it.

How come you guys always have pacts?
You never give me a pact.

I want a pact.

Well, I would love
to stick around and chat,

But I gotta go home and take a shower
'cause Hyde's sister wears a lot of perfume,

And she was
all over me.

Friggin' pact.

You know, Hyde,

This doesn't have to
be a problem.

I happen to know a lot of
ways out of a pact, my friend.

That's true.

We once had a pact to get married,
but then he just didn't show up.

So you think you can get her
to break up with him?

Maybe,

But that would require you and I going
into business together, I.E. Forming a pact,

Which would mean

You gotta do
something for me.

I don't think so, man.

This is a starter pact.

You handle this,

You get a
big-Boy pact.

I don't know, Eric.
A starter pact?

I mean, that sounds a lot like training wheels,
and you were on those for a really long time.

Stacy, hi.

Donna, welcome.

Here is your
bride-To-Be sash

And a tiara.

Can I get a sash?

What do you do
with a sash?

I don't care.
I want a sash.

Welcome to the beginning
of a whole new life.

Wow.

This really is
a whole new life.

Oh, did you get
some champagne, too?

Oh, I can't.
I'm six months pregnant.

Can't you tell?
I'm huge.

She's perfect.

Now, Eduardo, you'll have no say in any
of the decisions about your wedding,

So go sit in
the groom's lounge.

Oh, goody, new friends.

- Hey!

- Hey.
- Hey.

"Hey"...

Oh, perfect,

Everyone's here.

Well, look at
all of us just

Packed right
in here, huh?

Mom, dad,
you remember Angie.

Of course
they remember me.

I'm the only black girl
in town. Hello.

Funny thing about Angie...

She dates Kelso.

- Ohh, honey.
- Tough break.

So anyone have any stories
about Angie's new boyfriend

And some of
his crazy antics?

What do you want?
I got one with water,

One with fire,

One where he burned
himself underwater.

Oh,

Okay, I got a good one.

Michael, what are you doing
with my blender?

Don't worry.
It's not what you think.

I'm making a
blender rocket.

I couldn't have
daiquiris for a week.

I've got a better one.

Kelso, it's 6 in the morning.
Did someone glue you to the fridge?

No.

Kelso,

Did you glue yourself
to the fridge?

Yes.

Thanks, man.

Why does he glue
himself to stuff?

Because he's
a big dum-Dum.

Next?

Okay, I got one.

Donna, check it out.
I invented car skiing.

Hit it, toots!

You know, if there's anything
he should have glued himself to,

It was probably
the top of that car.

Steven

Why are you
doing this?

Doing what?

Forman's doing it.

Clearly you're in charge.

Whoa. It's my pact. Why wouldn't
you think I'm in charge?

Oh, it's probably because of
your narrow shoulders, honey.

They just

Don't shout "leader,"
you know?

Oh, and Jim raises a lipstick.
Pretty confident, huh, Jim?

That's right,
I am all in.

Okay, read 'em
and weep.

Two, four, six, eight, ten.

All evens.

Stacy, this is
so much fun.

You know, I never thought I'd end up here.
Steven never wants to discuss marriage.

Steven?

My butler.
He is so uppity.

Eduardo, where's my purse?

I was mugged.

Donna, come to my cousin's wedding
this weekend and check out her band.

All right,
we'll be there.

No, we won't, Donna.
It's insane.

Excuse me. My fianc?e told me
I have to give this back.

Angie just broke
up with me.

No.

I don't know what happened.
She just dumped me,

Like, out of nowhere, and I
was gonna take her car skiing.

I need a hug
from your mother.

Take off the training wheels, buddy, 'cause it
looks like somebody's ready for his big-Boy pact.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have to go pull Kelso
off my mother.

Jackie, we're not really going
to this wedding, are we?

I have to, Fez. It feels
so good to be a fianc?e.

But you're
not a fianc?e.

You're a super cute high school girl that I've been
spying on through a window for three and a half years.

Isn't that enough?

Hey,

What's up?

Nothing.

Usually when I ask that question, you don't
stop talking till I pretend to fall asleep.

Ah, well, not today.

You look guilty.

What did you do?
Fez, what did she do?

Oh, I wasn't listening.

I was thinking about this prince
named Eduardo and his lunatic queen.

Seriously, Steven,
everything's fine.

All right,

But I'm telling you,

There's gonna be hell to pay if you've
donated all my clothes to the goodwill again.

Now we're lying to Hyde?
This must stop, woman.

Fez, I know it's a little crazy,
but what if this is all I get?

I mean, what if Steven
never wants to settle down?

What if I never get a real wedding
or real happiness or real anything?

Or real happiness or real anything? What if
I'm just living in my pink bedroom alone forever?

Fine, I'll go.

But please remember,
you're never alone in there.

I called Angie, like, 20 times,
and she won't even answer the phone.

Wow. I guess something
really turned her off,

Something incredibly

Powerful.

All right,

So I've narrowed it down to two reasons
why Angie might have broken up with me.

She's either a
lesbian or a robot.

Come on, man, it's just a girl.
You'll get over it.

Hey, do something for you.

Take up smoking.

I don't wanna get over it. I just want
Angie back. I'm going home.

Wow. He really liked her.

I feel like
I kicked a puppy.

Well, this is what happens when you
get into a pact with Eric Forman.

Complete and
utter devastation.

What?

So, Fez, what do you
think? You like my dress?

Yeah, it's okay, but you know
what would be more appropriate?

A straight
jacket...

Because you're
a looney tune.

- But, Fez...
- I said cuckoo!

Donna, Eduardo, I want you
to meet my cousin Janie.

- Hi.
- Hi.

It is so nice to see two people declare
their love in such an expensive way.

So, Janie, you
are looking good.

What are you doing later?

Um, going on
my honeymoon.

You play hard-To-Get.

I play hard-To-Get-Rid-Of.

F.Y.I. for your wedding, Donna, tables one and
two, where we're sitting, are the popular tables.

Tables five and up are your
friends you have to invite

And relatives
who drive trucks.

We are gonna get caught.

No, we're not, Fez, okay? No one
knows us here. We'll be fine. Come on.

I can't believe they
put us at table seven.

I went to high school
with the bride's mother.

That's it.

I'm milking the
open bar as punishment.

Well, hell, we could
have stayed home for that.

Hey, Donna,

I'm not wearing any
underwear under this.

Does that, uh,

Does that turn you on?

No.

- That only works when I do it.
- Ooh.

Well, sucks to be the next
guy to rent this tux, huh?

All right, Angie,
here's the deal.

I did want everybody to tell
you those stories about Kelso,

And that was wrong

Because he
really likes you,

So you have
to take him back.

Steven this is
so unlike you.

Well,

A friend of mine sent me
a really big baggie from Hawaii...

So I'm gonna be saying all sorts of
crazy stuff over the next couple weeks.

Well, I didn't break up with
Michael because of the stories.

I broke up with him because
I saw it was bothering you,

And we have a
business to run.

Look, just

Do me a favor and
take him back.

I'll think about it.

Oh, man, Hyde,

It is not easy doing
it on your desk.

Okay, so I may have
already thought about it.

He's so good-Looking.

It's Stacy Wanamaker.

Damn.
I do wanna make her...

Uh, go to beauty
school 'cause she's ugly.

You look familiar.
Do I know you?

Um, yeah, hi.
I'm Donna Pinciotti.

Donna.

Donna, she says
she's Donna.

Donna?
Donna?

Donna?
Donna!

Eduardo.

No, she's Donna.

Why would you lie?

Are you even engaged?

Can't believe a prince was
taken in by a common liar.

Hey.

Hey, how was the wedding?

Well,

The service was beautiful,
the flowers were gorgeous,

And your girlfriend
was a humiliating wackadoo.

Jackie was there?

Are we still walking
from the car?

This is taking forever.

Hey.

Hey,

Thought you'd be on a plane back
to prince Eduardoland by now.

Donna's mouth is
as big as her feet.

Jackie, what the hell
were you thinking?

Look, Steven, I know it's a
crazy thing to do. It's just

I wanted to know what it was like to be
planning a life and a wedding and everything.

I mean, that's all
I've ever wanted,

And I was starting to think it
was never gonna happen with you.

Are we back
on this again?

Why can't you just be happy
with what we've got?

Because I'm not, Steven!

Look, I need to know that
we have a future together.

Can't you just give me some kind of sign or just a tiny
glimmer of hope that maybe someday we'll get married?

Jackie, I don't know.

That's all you ever say! Please, Steven,
please, just say anything besides "I don't know,"

Anything else!

I don't know.

Okay. Well, then I can't
be with you anymore.

Jackie,

Don't threaten me, okay?
It's not gonna work.

I'm not threatening
you, Steven.

I can't waste any more of my time
on you if it's not gonna happen for us.

Okay, well, at
least now I know.

Janie?

Janie?

Has anyone seen the bride?

The limo's waiting and the
groom's gonna pass out any second

Janie?

Janie, what are you doing?

What are you doing?
Have a little respect for the bride.

Unless you wanna
join us, Yes? No?