Tenspeed and Brown Shoe (1980): Season 1, Episode 10 - Loose Larry's List of Losers - full transcript

Fact, we're wanted for murder.

I recommend that you serve
the remainder of your term.

Suppose this guy who almost ran you
over, was trying to kill John Dalem?

You'll be arraigned
for receiving stolen goods.

I'm not crazy, I'm a PI
trying to report a crime in progress.

Am I in trouble?

We're wanted for grand theft ambulance.

- The man is the worst...
- Truck!

Giddy-giddy-gai!

So I say to this guy
who give me the tip,

I said, "OK, how are we gonna know
that this jock is really going



to stiff that pony?"

'Cause you've got to know
I'm gonna wield this horse

past every nag in the second race

Is this one of those
16-jewel movements?

No. Are you kidding?

I've got a guy who puts a new face
on it. It's a sucker punch.

I said, "How much are you giving this
jock?" 'Cause I bet the family jewels!

And the guy says...

- What about this one?
- It's not bad. Got it this morning.

Look, I wouldn't lie.

It's not red-hot but it is part of the
shipment from the downtown warehouse.

Hope it didn't burn your fingers.
Are you listening to this?

What happens next is I get big money
down on a pony called...

Wait a minute! This one!
I like this one.



Yeah, that's nice.

- You want it gift-wrapped?
- Yeah, gift-wrapped!

You got it.

Anyway, it crossed a county, you know.

This here is a $1,000 item.

You make such nice bows, Racetrack.

Real nice.

Exquisite.

Listen, what did I say before,
I forgot. Two and a half?

100, plus the sales slip.

OK, OK. So you beat me down,
Tenspeed, OK?

But the sales slip, 20 extra.

Where do you want
to have been this morning?

I got Bullock's, Robinsons,
Magnan, Sachs, Tiffany's, what?

I don't care. Anywhere.

I'll finish my story to you later.

I can see
you ain't exactly with me here.

Yeah, yeah.

But sure nice doing business
with you, pal. See you.

Yeah, thanks, Racetrack.

Anytime, Tenspeed.

That's nice!

For he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow.

He's a jolly good fellow...
Nobody can deny!

Sing up, guys.

Nobody can deny, which nobody can deny!
Come on!

He's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow,

for he's a jolly good fellow...

Excuse me, sir.

Which nobody can deny!

Happy birthday! Make a wish!

- Who told you about this?
- Never mind. Make a wish.

What lungs, what lungs!

Give me this. We're going to take off
the old trench coat.

I see you dressed for the
occasion. You wore your jammies.

Oh, no! It's Wednesday,
I have my karate class.

Mr Okahamu was painting the locker room
and I thought I'd change here.

What have you got behind your back?
What's that?

I have a gift for you!

- For me?
- A present.

Open it. Come on, come on. Open it!

I don't know...

A watch!

A hot watch! Just what I was hoping for.

I just wanted to put time on your hands.
Ha! Get it?!

This is hot, isn't it?
This is a $1,000 watch, E.L.

I know they don't wrap it in the
classifieds when they gift-wrap it.

The sales slip.

- You really bought me a watch?
- Happy birthday, buddy.

Where are you going?

No cops.
This must be at least reasonably cool.

Oh, that sense of humour, love it!

- What time is it?
- It's 10:30.

- It's 10:50.
- Well, thank you. Who is this?

Jonathan Dalem. Where are you?

I'm here. Where are you?

I'm at the parole office.
You missed your appointment.

I checked your file.
You've hardly ever been here.

People seem to know you
but can't remember what you look like.

How do you work that?

Mr Dalem, my parole agent
is Larry Craig. We meet often.

I suggest you talk to Larry.

We keep it in the field.
Golf every Sunday.

You're welcome to join us.

- Larry'll square me.
- Larry's been transferred.

I'm your new handler.

I don't like it when cons
miss their appointments.

I go by the book, Turner.
Now, we said 10:50.

In 10 minutes you're standing
in front of this desk

or I get the sheriff and we'll discuss
the whole thing at the jailhouse.

10 minutes? It's across town. Come on!

Then you'd better move it!

This is great. It has a computer thing
that tells you the months.

I really love this.

- Where are your keys?
- In my pocket.

I missed my parole meeting.

It's my buddy's! Mine's in the shop!

Hey, slow down, man! Slow down!
What are you doing?

- What time is it?
- 10:52.

I've done it. John Dalem. I've had it!

His nickname is the Violator.

What are you talking about?

- The man is the worst...
- Truck! Truck! Slow down!

Two violations in one month, man.
I'm back in county jail.

Slow down! Slow down!

Help me, huh?
I'll be good. I'll be good!

What is it? Go on up.
You've got 2 minutes. Go ahead!

- Wrong building.
- Wrong building?

Wrong building. It is on Sixth Street.

It's...
I don't even know where the place is!

- On parole a year and you don't know?!
- I never come down!

- You need to help me, buddy!
- You've been there once?

Once, once. A year ago.
Larry and I went to lunch.

He had problems with his swing
so we started playing golf on weekends.

My brokerage house was down here.

I know the territory.
Give me a landmark.

OK, there was... There was...

I'm going blank. What time is it?!

Calm down. Take a deep breath.

That's it, that's it.

OK, now, give me anything.
Shops, clothing stores, anything.

- What?
- Tunnel, tunnel.

Sixth Street tunnel?
Was it away from the freeway?

- Dalem, he's going to send me away!
- Pull yourself together!

Think. We're not whipped yet.

OK, I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Relax, relax. Picture it.

OK. There was a building
with a gold thingamajig on the top.

- The old retro building?
- Right.

- Across the street?
- It was in it.

I think was in that building.

What's wrong? I'm in trouble?

- They tore it down.
- They tore it down?!

No! It was next door.
It was next door.

- Well, was it?
- No! It was across the street.

I remember because I could see
the gold thingamajig

from Larry's office. That's right.

Where are you going?!

Oh, you're going to drive?
Good. You drive. Alright.

Good. Yeah, you drive. Right. Hurry up.

That's it!

Excuse me.

I'm E.L. Turner. I have an appointment
with Mr Dalem at 11 o'clock.

Oh, you're Mr Turner.

Yes, I'm afraid so.

I can't tell you how much
we appreciate the flowers you give us

for our birthdays and the candy and...

Bernice? I'm in a bit of a jam.

Oh.

Mr Turner is here.

Tell him he's late.
Tell him the police are on their way.

Bernice, as I was saying, I'm in a jam

and what's a crummy 6 minutes,
you know what I mean?

- Would you help me, please?
- Depends.

- What's your extension?
- 1650.

OK, when I call you, would you do that
time tone thing and say it's 11:01?

I guess it's the least I can do
after all you've done for us.

And Larry said you're a nice guy
and Mr Dalem is a monumental jerk.

Thank you.

Well, well, well.

E. L.Turner, the flower sender.

Mr Dalem, you wanted me here
at 11 o'clock, it's 11:01.

I've been waiting for 2 minutes.
I broke my chops to get here.

- I think you owe me...
- I owe you nothing. Got that?

- Yeah, sure.
- What?

- Yeah, sure.
- Yes, sir.

Oh. Yes, sir.

It's 11:08.

I'm sorry, Mr Dalem, sir,
but your watch is wrong.

The guy sets his watch back
and I'm supposed to go for it, right?

Let's try time. Alright?

At the tone the time will be

11:01 and 50 seconds.

So, OK, you give me a chance? Please.

Early Leroy Turner, so you're the guy.

A destroyer of secretarial efficiency.

Mr 'I've got a bonbon'.

Mr Dalem, sir,
we're getting off on the wrong foot.

Larry and I saw each other often.

You know what this is, Turner?

Yes, sir. That is a piece of paper.

I can see what a ball
you're going to be.

This is a list of guys on Larry's list
that I've already violated.

Loose Larry's List of Losers, I call it.
You're on that list, Early Leroy Turner.

Yes. I know, sir and I understand.

But I've been very busy
with the boys club,

teaching crime prevention classes
and well, sir, Mr Dalem, sir,

John, if I may, you should see the look
on those children's faces.

I'm trying to teach them

not to make the same mistakes
that I made and, well,

it's what I guess I've always
wanted to do and never had the chance.

I think I could devote my life
to something like that

if I don't take on
the church choir full-time.

- Did Larry go for this line of drivel?
- Drivel, sir?

If I may speak candidly...
May I call you John?

No.

The parole board meets on your case
again on Tuesday at 10:30.

I'm going to recommend that you
serve the remainder of your term.

Mr Dalem, sir,
that's a bit of an inconvenience.

The choir is going on tour
and I've got to be in the church

day and night.

Be at that parole board, Turner.

Failure to show will result
in a parolee at large warrant

for your arrest.

I'm off for my 11:30 parole board
meeting. I'll be back after lunch.

Wow!

- How do I convince you that I'm alright?
- You can't.

Well, never say never.
You don't know me.

- There's a lot between the lines.
- Yes, that's what concerns me the most.

Hey, that's terrific!

That's what concerns you the most!
I like that.

Hey, this is silly.

I mean we're getting along so well here.

Why don't we get together?
Get away from this place.

We can sit down
and get to know one another.

What about dinner? My treat.

I don't eat with convicts.

You what?

Got a problem?

- No.
- Good.

Follow him!

- Get out!
- Sorry, officer.

Is that your motorcycle?

Terrific! A guy in white pyjamas!

No, it's a karate suit.
My name is Lionel Whitney.

I'm a private detective. That was
a hit and run I was chasing.

What are you doing?
Are you gonna handcuff me?

Wait a minute, man.
I just pulled you out of the way.

I saved your life.
I think it's worth something.

It's worth spit.
Be at that hearing, 10:30, Tuesday.

Thanks for bailing me out, E.L.

Sure.

I didn't think you'd show.

You did show them the sales slip
to the watch? I mean, the police.

You showed them the sales slip, right?

They said it was a forgery.

$1,000 watch out of a $100,000 robbery.

It's a felony receiving stolen goods.
I'm to be arraigned on Wednesday.

I'm sorry I ruined your birthday.

What are you talking about?
It's only five years.

I'll only be 33 when I get out.

I'll still have my whole life
ahead of me.

- I'll take the rap for the watch.
- They'll throw you right back into jail.

- They're going to do that anyway.

- So where did you get that watch?
- What?

- A friend.
- A crook?

- No.
- What's his name?

"Racetrack" Richard Rollins.

"Racetrack" Richard Rollins. I see.

I read my horoscope this morning.
I always read it on my birthday.

Do you know what it said?

Do you mind
if I embrace myself for this one?

Said I was going to have
a mind-bending experience

and that I should take care
of personal details,

because I was going to go
on a long trip.

I was looking forward to that trip too.

But five years up the river?

Look, Lionel, I said
I will take the rap for the watch, OK?

John Dalem is going to punch my card

and send me back anyway,
so that's it, OK?

What are we doing?
We're private detectives.

Let's not be glum.
Let's do something about this.

Half a dozen times Mark Savage
was in this kind of bind.

In 'Death Do Us Part'
he was actually in prison.

I know it's a novel,
but he got because he didn't quit.

Because he wouldn't accept it.

'Death Do Us Part'?

And the 'Screaming Bride'
and the 'Lonesome Winner' cases,

he was in a lot more deadly scrapes
than a crummy parole violation.

Lionel, would you please stop
with the Mark Savage stuff?

What I'm trying to say
is we can get stepped on

or we can take a hold of our troubles.

I have an idea.

Suppose this guy who almost ran you over
was trying to kill John Dalem?

What if we found out who that was?
Wouldn't that look good on your record?

- Yeah. There's another possibility too.
- Great, what?

I could kill him myself
before the parole hearing on Tuesday.

You're kidding.

Yes, that's me.

Always laughing
in the face of adversity.

That's usually a quality
assigned to mental cases.

Wait. You said something, though.

You said something. Larry got canned.

John Dalem took over for him

and he violated a bunch
of his old parolees.

Maybe one of them is trying to kill him.

- You may have something there.
- I may?

Yeah.

If we find a person who is violated
and he has a blue Chevy then we can...

Bust him, right?

Wow1 This is really a nice place.

I've never been here before.

Well, it's one of my haunts,
if you will.

We private detectives have to keep
our fingers on the pulse of the city.

Boy, private eyes?
You must lead a fascinating life.

Beautiful clients and danger.

It must really be exciting.

Well, yeah, excitement is
a by-product of the job, isn't it, E.L.?

E.L.? Bernice was saying
that life as a private eye

must be awfully exciting
and I was saying that yes,

excitement is a by-product of the job.
And then I said, "Isn't it, EL?"

So isn't it? Yeah.

Isn't it what?

As you can see my partner is still
quite upset about the events of the day

and frankly the reason we asked you here
to have a drink with us

is to ask for your help with a caper.

Who, me? Help a private detective?

Wow! That sounds wonderful.

Nothing exciting happens to me.

I sit up there at my desk,
making his coffee,

replenishing stationery,
I mean, my life is one long errand.

And now we're maybe
going to change that.

What do you want me to do?

Well, we would like you to let us look
at the files of John Dalem's ex-cons.

- Those files are confidential. I, I...
- I know that.

Follow me through this if you will,
Bernice.

We think that one of the ex-cons

that John Dalem
is sending back to prison

may have tried to run Mr Dalem over
with his car this afternoon.

And we also think
that if we can find that man

and prove it, I think it's safe to say
that my partner might be able

to convince Mr Dalem
to not send him back to prison.

And that's the essence
of why we asked you here

and are asking this help.

- Is that what you want, E.L.?
- Huh? I'm sorry.

To go through the files?

What files?

Great, then it's all settled.

I'm real excited about this.

You OK, EL?

Yeah... No.

I'm through.

If it's not the parole thing,
it's going to be the hot watch.

I hate prison.

I hate prison.

E.L., If I can help you, I'll do it.

Because you remember all the birthdays
of everyone at the office.

You got people theatre tickets.

All he did was miss an appointment,
it was just a technicality!

Wasn't it, E.L.?

Hmm? What?

I've never seen him like this.
You've got to help him.

E.L., I'll do it.

I'll go get the records
and you meet me. OK?

Yeah. Yeah.

Bless you. Thank you.

This is so exciting.

Oh, yes, it is. Quite so.

You're very dear. You're very dear.
Thank you, Bernice.

You know,
I'd love to be a private detective.

I think what you guys do is so exciting.

If there's an opening
I'd consider a career shift.

We'd certainly file an application.

You know I'm in a lot of trouble here

and I really appreciate your taking
a chance on me, I mean on us.

I'd like to give you a gift
to show my appreciation.

That's a good idea.
As long as it's not a watch.

Right, right! Anything!

Oh, wow!

We'll start with Mason Eddie.

That's the name
that Dalem has a check mark next to.

Maybe he checked it
because he recognised the car.

That's good. That's very good.

Lionel, you have a flair
for this type of thing.

That's what they call 'the knack'.

Once we solve this,
Dalem will be indebted to you forever.

And something else about that watch.

Yeah, about the watch...

- I knew it was hot.
- You did?

You don't spell Saks S-A-X.
That's what it said on the sales slip.

- Good old Racetrack.
- So I knew was hot.

I accepted it because
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

So I guess I'm to blame for it
and I'll take the heat on it.

They won't do much to me.
It's my first time.

I don't have a record,
so everything is going be fine.

You don't have to worry about a thing.

You're something else.
You're really something else, buddy.

Wait a minute. That's the car.

We did it. We did it!
I don't believe it.

I'm telling you, I love this work.
It's the old logic game, buddy.

You just follow the lead, look
for the discrepancies and there it is.

I don't believe it.

Why don't you get a megaphone
and tell the next block too?

- Be very quiet.
- Let's tell them all!

Stay in the shadows.

- The door is open.
- This I don't like.

Whoa! Hey, hey buddy.
Let's get out of here. Let's go.

- He's dead. He's been shot.
- Cops.

All we need to make this perfect
is a smoking gun.

- Cover the body.
- What?!

Just cover the body!

Open up, it's the police!

Open up or I'll kick it down!

Kicking my door down?!
What's wrong with y'all?!

Excuse us, ma'am.
We were called to a shooting.

I know you got a call. I called you!

You got the wrong address!

- The wrong address?
- Yes!

They've been yelling and shooting.
I think they're going to kill her!

Which one? Which apartment?

The house around the corner,
behind that garage.

You'd better hurry up!
This was a quiet neighbourhood!

There's some horrible things going on...

Give me my coat.

Let's go.

Hey, you!

Move it!

Hospital, hospital.

That my friend's CB.

Yeah, yeah. I know.

I'm a paramedic. Radio scanner.

I'll be monitoring your vital signs.

That's it.

Coronary, Lionel. Make it good.

Paramedic. Cardiac centre.

Somebody run a make on that plate.

All vital signs. Holding.

Cardiac arrest. I need epinephrine
and an O2 bottle of stat.

Get on the table.

Wonderful.

- Want me to say 'ah'?
- Just lay there and shut up.

See you later.

Hang on.

A little help here.

OK, stand back. This could be leprosy.

- E.L.?
- Be cool.

- E.L.
- I said, be cool, will you?

E.L....

Terrific, terrific.
You got any more terrific ideas?

Don't go climbing up
my spine here.

I'm not angry.

I was trying to get us out of there.

You explain to airheaded cops what
we're doing with a still-warm body.

It's my birthday.
This shouldn't happen on your birthday.

Speaking of which,
the horoscope mentioned a trip?

Now would be the time to take that trip.
The Bahamas?

You know, I hear in the Bahamas that
the extradition laws are very tough.

- We could get lost comfortably.
- Run away from adversity?

No - tactical withdrawal until
the statute of limitations runs out.

Something's going on here.

Don't know exactly what
but there is a route equation.

We possess correlated facts.

Facts? You want some facts?

I'll give you facts.
Fact, we're hot enough to fry eggs on.

Fact, I'm gonna get my parole violated.

Fact, you're about to be
arraigned for receiving stolen goods.

Fact, we're wanted for murder
and evading arrest.

We're wanted for grand theft ambulance!

- I think it is simply grand theft auto.
- I stand corrected.

But the scary thing is you and I
are running around in the middle

like Goosey Lucy and Chicken Licken
and just because it's your birthday,

don't think that they're going
to come here wearing paper hats.

But we're innocent,
and that counts for something.

And Mark Savage never ran and...

We should get the hell out of town,
shouldn't we?

Yes. Yes.

I'm thinking about Mason Eddie,
why he was killed,

who killed him
and the others on the list.

I think it could be significant.

- OK, buddy. I'll make you a deal.
- What's the deal?

We check the rest of the guys on
the list that he was about to violate.

If it goes nowhere then we...

Make a seven-year withdrawal?

- Giddy-giddy-gai?
- Giddy-giddy-gai.

Wow!
Where did you guys get the ambulance?

It's a long and bizarre story,

but we are still actively
pursuing the case.

He had such a way with words.

- Is there a backdoor?
- Oh...

We would like to know
what the rest of the names on this list

are being violated for.

Did you guys steal the ambulance?
I mean, how do you get an ambulance?

Miss Courtney, from time to time
a private detective has to...

We stole it.

Yes, we stole it.

Wow!

Let's see the list.

Well, Mark Rheims.
Oh yeah. He's a planner.

He was arrested in jail
for planning a bank vault heist.

Bank vault heist, I see.
And Harry Munro?

Oh, he's a top safe cracker.

Safe cracker. I see.

And the late Mason Eddie?

I think he's an explosives expert
and driver.

- Are you referring to a wheelman?
- Yes.

- I have it.
- What have you got?

A heist. They were planning a heist.

These 3 guys were planning a heist.

Their parole officer found out about it
and they tried to kill him. It all fits.

So who killed Mason Eddie?

Mason Eddie was killed by...
That's easy. Um... Um...

That doesn't make sense.
Why would they kill one of the team?

You got it.

We're onto something.

We stake out one of these guys
and we'll see what it leads to.

Can we borrow your car? It looks silly
driving around in an ambulance.

- You guys are really something,
you know?

I mean, really something.
I'd love to be living lives like yours.

Well, sometimes it's more fun
than other times.

If there is an opening, if there's
anything I can do, even part-time work.

Did I mention
I'm looking to change fields?

You did. Your application is on file.

- We've got to go. Excuse us.
- Thank you, Bernice.

- OK.
- We'll not forget this. Thank you.

Wow.

Savage had guessed that Prof Lindstrom
was using art classes

to lure beautiful girls into his web
of kinky danger but that was all over.

He had been dead in his studio
almost two days

and all Lindstrom could draw now
was flies.

And then he was sapped.

His knees buckled like beans
on a burning bridge.

He tried to protest,
but made a mewing sound

and he had to admit
he'd heard better noises

in pet store windows all over town.

What? What? What's happening?

Paydirt, buddy. Paydirt. Don't look.

Don't look?

He's leaving. Be cool, be cool.

- Drive carefully.
- Drive carefully?

This I get from the guy
who almost killed me this morning?

OK, go!

You stay here.
I'm going to have a closer look.

Be careful.

Stay right where you are.

OK, OK!

OK.

Hey, you see you have me
at a bit of a disadvantage here, right?

Who might I be speaking to?

- Move around to the back of the truck.
- Right.

I am moving! I am moving
to the back of the truck.

That's right. Keep moving.

OK, OK. I'm here, I'm here!

Get in!

Come on, is this really necessary?
I'm a little claustrophobic.

What the hell! I've always wanted
to ride in one of these!

- Close the door!
- OK. Closing the door. Closing the door.

OK. I'm in, I'm in. OK?

Well, well, well. What do we have here?

Are you alone?

Yeah, I'm alone, yeah.

Run the truck down the alley,
let's take a look around.

Excuse me, for bringing this up,

there seems to be something
slightly illegal going on here.

- Do you know what I'm saying?
- Ain't he cute?

Look, Mr Dalem, we can use him.
I mean, he's a con, right?

Ex-con. Let's keep that 'ex' up there
so everyone can see it, OK? Alright?

OK? You know?

You know, Mr Dalem, if I may, sir,

I have a philosophy
I'd like to share with you.

It's called 'live and let live'.

OK, you're bored with the bureaucracy
sitting up there at that desk, 9 to 5.

If you want to get an armoured car
and drive with your friends,

take a spin, it's fine with me.

We need an extra hand. You're in.

What exactly is it that we are doing,
sir?

These guys were playing loose
with Larry.

I was going to send them back to jail
but we made a deal. Except Mason.

He went cuckoo. Tried to run me down.

So you killed Mason Eddie?

You'll send these guys
back to the joint

unless they help you
with this bank job.

We're taking city payroll.

Bad plan, sir.

You're talking about the paycheques
of all the cops.

That's a very shaky position to be in.

When we're through I'll
be in the Bahamas.

And the extradition laws in the Bahamas
are very tough.

Yeah, look, as I said,
live and let live, right?

You can let me off here.
Tell the driver right here.

Turner.

Either you're in or you're dead.
Take your pick.

Suppose I've got to find a uniform.

This entrance is closed.

Pardon, ma'am.

Watch it, buster.
This ain't no swap meet!

I'm sorry. Where can I report
a robbery in progress?

Oh, cute. What's the punchline?
Somebody stole your heart?

No. I'm a PI, there is currently
a robbery going on!

Tell it to the hat check girl.

No, no! I'm not looking for a job!
Please listen to me!

- Fill in the form. We'll process it.
- You don't understand!

There is a robbery going on now.
I'm working on a case.

You got the wrong window.
There's no money here.

No, no, no. This is not a robbery.
There is a robbery going on now.

We've got another one!

Listen! I'm not crazy.

I'm a private detective
trying to report a crime in progress.

I don't have time for this.
Every nut in LA stands where you are.

Fill in the form or get lost.

You're making a big mistake.

Whoo! Whoa, boy! Whoo-hoo!

Now, that's something!

E.L.!

OK. Pull it over.

We did it, E.L. We solved the case.
We're out of trouble, aren't we?

Aren't we? What?

...for he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow...

which nobody can deny!

Yay!

I just dropped by to see
if the job was still open

and I heard your birthday was last
Tuesday and I bought you a gift.

Aw!

Oh, Miss Courtney,
you really... shouldn't have.

Do you like the coat?

I bought it just in case.

Yes, yes. Very much.
It's lovely. It has a real...

It's sort of... It has a very...

Cornball elegance.

That's not criticism,
it's a fall fashion nut.

I hope you're going to like it,
what I got.

Miss Courtney...

I think I should say that...

insofar as your future employment
with the agency is concerned...

I think you have to know that we're sort
of an owner operator shop here.

But you use operatives?

I could maybe hang around a bar
somewhere and, well, you know,

have adventures.

Yeah.

But...

Being a private detective
isn't exactly what you think it is.

He knows what he's talking about.

That's right, Bernice.

I mean, sure, yes,

being a private detective
is very exciting and it is dangerous

and you get to meet beautiful people
and live your life in the fast lane.

I guess when you get right down to it
it is just about the...

perfect profession if... If...

And I think that's the keyword here,
Miss Courtney,

'if' you have an aptitude for this life
of intrigue and danger.

But it's also nice if you have a helmet
and bullet-proof vest.

Wow! Well, anyway,
why don't you open up your present?

Yes, yes. Absolutely. Wonderful.

Shouldn't have done this. This is...

I love birthdays.

He's excited
every time he sees a present..

Where did you get this, Miss Courtney?

There's this guy named Richard Rollins

who sells them
down at the city buildings.

He's got all kinds of jewellery.
Brings it round.

I don't know how he can sell that cheap
but we get good prices.

He sells these to employees
at the state parole office?

It can happen to anyone, anyone.

I rest my case.
Bernice, you're beautiful.

Put it on.

Miss Courtney...

I so want you to have it.

I never had a time like this
in my entire life.

Please put it on.

Put it on! Come on!

It's a beautiful watch.

It's absolutely beautiful. Really.

I'll get it, buddy.

E.L. Turner speaking.

This here is Jack Spardlyn,
parole officer.

You missed your appointment.

And I don't like it
when cons miss their appointments.

Look, come on, man!
It's been a rough week!

Things have been crazy here, you know?

You're standing in my office
in 10 minutes or so help me, sonny,

you're back in the joint.

10 minutes, man!
You're way across town!

Don't you hear me, boy?! Move!

Again?

And a redneck too!

- Give me the keys to your car!
- I'll drive.

Miss Courtney, there's a new case
that we have to be on.

The bank's just been robbed.

- Would you come on?!
- I've got to go.

Wow!