Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 7, Episode 16 - Trans Oceanic Magical Cruise - full transcript

It's fun on the high seas as the Titans enjoy a cruise filled with dangerous missions, fast cars, and alien attacks.

♪ Go!

♪ T-E-E-N

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S

♪ Teen Titans, let's go

♪ Teen Titans, go!

What are we doing here, Robin?

- Are we going the fishing?
- Nope.

- Doing some whale watching?
- Nuh-uh.

Hitting up the maritime museum?


Titans, we are here
for a far more
important reason.

We are going on a cruise.

I love
being trapped on a boat.

Welcome Titans, to the
Trans Oceanic Magical Cruise.

Or the T-O-M Cruise for short.

Whoa! Check this place out.

It's got a stage show
with a real life vampire.

And a legendary petting zoo.

And an awesome race track.

Well, if you think that's cool,

check out
the Impossible Buffet.

Oh, yeah!

I'mma get me a cheeseburger-
lobster-rib steak-apple pie.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

You can't just go waltzing in
to the Impossible Buffet.

Why not?

Because it's guarded
by the world's most advanced
security system.

And one false move could
get you blown to smithereens.

Thank you for visiting
the Impossible Buffet.

Whoa, isn't that
a little extreme for a buffet?

Everything the T-O-M Cruise
does is a little extreme.

So how does one gain access
to the Impossible Buffet?

Through that
small vent in the ceiling.

Ooh! Getting in there sounds
like an impossible mission.

Yeah, let's do this.

Robin, I can lower you down
using this.

Sounds good, but be careful.

Yeah, yeah
just get in the hole.

Easy, a little to the left.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

A little to the right.


Come on, man.

Sorry, I couldn't help it.

Yeah, no way he can
carry that much food

with his tiny,
little baby hands.

I do not have baby hands.

Step aside, my dude,

and let me
show you how it's done.


Hush your mouth, fool,
and grab me some muffins.

Oh, give me a break, bro,
you had that.

Let's go again.

No way, you just went.

-Oh! Oh!
I wish to have the turn.
Me too!

Cut it out up there.

Ow! I got some food.

Now pull me up.

What you get?
What you get?

A lousy French fry?

Don't nobody want your
sad looking fry.

Where are we gonna eat now?

Well, the theater
probably has snacks.

- Raven, you're a genius, girl.
- Great.

Now keep it down.
I really wanna see this play.

What's the name of it?

Ooh! Interview With
a Bloodsucker.

Ooh! Sounds so terrifying.

Yeah, that sounds
super scary, yo.

Welcome, Mr. Vampire.

What job are you
interviewing for today?

I wanna be a dance instructor.

Tell me,
why should I hire you?

I have just
always wanted to teach dance.

You know, I gotta dance.

Everybody just
keeps biting people.

I was just, like,
"It's about the dance, man."

Aw, mans, this ain't scary.

It's just a straight-up
job interview.

I cannot watch this.

- Let's bounce, yo.
- I'm gonna hang back.

I'm a real sucker
when it comes to vampires.


Well, that was a bust.

No doubt. What now?

What do you
wanna do next, yo?

Perhaps we could visit the
legendary petting zoo.

Sure, but you go ahead.

- I need a minute alone with
Cyborg and Beast Boy.
- Okay.

Listen, guys,

I think this cruise
is the perfect
and most romantic place

to tell Starfire
how much I care for her.

Oh, I get it.

You want to turn this ship into
your own personal love boat.

So exciting and new.

Exactly, but it's
never going to happen
with you two hanging around.

No problemo, yo.
We'll gets lost.

But first you gots
to show us the money.

Excuse me?

You heard the man. If you want
us gone, you gotta pay up.


Say it with me one time,
"Show us the money."

Show us the money.

Now it say
all proper like Alfred.

Show us the money.

Now dark and gritty
like Batman.

Show us the money.

Now say it like Starfire.

Glorious! The show,
the us, the money.

You are over
the edge, baby.

And I love that about you.

Now take this
and get out of here.

A pleasure
doing business with you, bro.


Oh! There are so many
of the wonderful animals here.

Listen, Star,

I'm really
nervous to tell you this,

so I'm just gonna say it.

You complete...

Well, hello there,
Mr. Unicorn.

Aren't you the adorable?

I shall name you
the Sugarcone.

Get lost, Sugarcone.

I'm trying to say
something important.

You complete...

Yo, we definitely
gots to try this.

Okay, but I warn you

when it comes to driving,

I'm an underdog
looking for something to prove.

Oh, yeah?
Well, when it comes to flying,

I'm an underdog
looking for something to prove.

Then let's race to see
who's the most underdoggiest
underdog there is.

I'm in.

I got the need for speed.

Yo, hey!

So you wanna play rough?

Where did he go?

I'm right here, bro.

Smile for the camera.

See you at the finish line.

We'll just see about that.

He's got me on missile lock.

Good thing I brought
a little collateral.


That tears it.

Man, that's a life saver.

Oh, yeah? Well, ain't nothing
gonna save you from this.

Oh, mans.

Now, we'll never know
the answer to who
the true underdog is.

- You wants the answer?
- I want the truth.

We's both true underdogs.


We're never gonna win!

This T-O-M Cruise is the best.

I'm so glad we got
a chance to take this vacation.

It is pretty great.

Yes, it is.

- Except for the aliens.
- What aliens?

Ahhh! Why they's
attacking us?

Because, the T-O-M Cruise
always gets attacked by aliens.

And you knew this?

Of course.
It's why I booked this cruise.

So we can put a stop to it.

But we don't have enough power
to stop those things.

Yes, we do.

We can use the power
of the T-O-M Cruise!

Aw, yeah!

Spin and hold and flip,

spin and launch.

♪ Dance instructor

I's going to send
you aliens into Oblivion.

Beast Boy, get me close enough
to plant this bomb.

Roger that.

Oh, sorry, bro.

My bad.

Stop, stop, stop.

Don't worry, bro,
I got this.

Nice work, Titans.
We did it.

Them aliens
weren't so tough,

I could beat them
with my Eyes Wide Shut.

We kicked their alien booties
Far and Away.

And straight into
the Edge of Tomorrow.

Did you hear that
Tropic Thunder?

Just a second ago it was
a Vanilla Sky.

Now the difference is
Knight and Day.

We better get below deck
before it storms.

No need to be so
The Firm, Robin.

Yeah, it's just
a little Rain Man.

That's not rain coming from
those Magnolia shaped clouds.

It's frogs.

This T-O-M Cruise is nuts, man.