Tatami Time Machine Blues (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript
The Time Machine.
In the more than 100 years since
the legendary English author H.G. Wells
published a book by that name,
the story has been passed down
by a countless number of people.
What is time?
For human beings,
it is a primordial mystery
and a universal constraint.
For that reason, we have constantly
dreamed of a machine that can travel time.
It is at once a rebellion
against the conditions of humanity,
a God-like power,
and the ultimate freedom.
So what's a time machine doing here?
Wait, doesn't this mean
that Ozu is now a time traveler?
Call me "The Ozu Who Leapt Through Time."
This footage was taken
around this time yesterday.
So it goes
to the same time of a given day.
There doesn't seem to be a dial
to choose the time either.
-That must be it.
-And the maximum jump is 99 years?
Yes, but if you use it again and again,
can't you go farther?
It can go to the future too.
-That sounds awesome!
-Well, well.
-What brings you all here?
-What?
I could ask you the same thing.
I came to get my glasses.
You. Did you find them for me?
Glasses?
That's right, glasses!
Didn't you promise me yesterday?
These are for the shoot.
My usual glasses were lost here.
And you said you'd look for them!
What are you talking about?
Forget it. I'll search for it myself.
Once again, we're not on the same page.
Hey! It's that thing! The time machine!
-You know about it?
-I saw it here yesterday.
But no one would listen to me then!
What's the deal? Is this a prank?
And you're all in on it?
-That's not it. This thing's real.
-Okay, okay. I'll play along.
I'm an aspiring actor after all.
Seeing is believing.
Let him figure it out.
-Now then, everyone. When shall we go to?
-If I may!
What if we went to see the future?
There's no better way
to use a time machine!
I was unable to agree with that opinion.
There is no guarantee
of a bright future ahead.
Well, wouldn't it be rough
if you find out you died?
That's true.
Well, I guess life would be boring
if you knew what to expect.
The future should be forged
with one's own hands.
Wise words as usual, Master.
Then, how about this?
We go to the Jurassic Period
and play with dinosaurs.
That sounds fun!
That's a pretty mainstream use, right?
However, the Jurassic Period
was 150 million years ago.
We'd have to use
the time machine 1.5 million times.
Even if we continued
traveling 24 hours a day,
we'd be dead
long before we reached our goal.
That won't do.
Can I give my opinion too?
-What about the spring of two years ago?
-I see right through your plan!
You want to give advice
to your freshman self
and pave the way to
a rose-colored campus life for yourself!
But you know, it's no use.
I'll just go with you,
meet the you from that time
and ruin your life even more!
A chill went up my spine.
A battle with Ozu over the boundaries of
space and time would not go well for me.
In that case,
wouldn't the Edo period
be a safe compromise?
That sounds more realistic.
We could get there with two jumps.
Well then, what do you say
we witness the fall of the Shogunate?
If things go well, we could even
get footage of the real characters
in Cowardly Men
at the Fall of the Shogunate.
Peace!
-Great idea!
-We could shoot everything on location!
I'll go get my equipment!
You guys are way too naive.
Even if that thing is real, there's no
guarantee it will work properly.
What do we do if it breaks
while we're in the past?
If that happens, then so be it.
No matter what age they're in,
people find a way to live on.
Other than Higuchi, the rest of us
modern children shared a look.
Maybe we shouldn't.
Let's test it in the near past, first.
How about yesterday to start with?
-Right.
-Right.
-I like the sound of that!
-I already did it once too.
Though our plans had shrunk in scale,
I suddenly had a revelation!
How about this?
At this time yesterday, the air
conditioner remote hadn't been broken.
We'll go back to yesterday
and grab the remote before it gets broken!
Then we'll have a working
air conditioner again, right?
-Wow!
-Wow!
-A splendid idea, Senpai!
-Way too good for you.
I'm surprised how you've grown, young one!
Okay, then! Let's go!
However, for all of us to reach yesterday,
there was simply not enough space.
We decided on a crew of three and selected
by playing rock-paper-scissors.
-Rock-paper-scissors!
-Rock-paper-scissors!
-All right!
-I won.
I just have no talent
for rock-paper-scissors!
The first round gave us these
three crew members.
Looking back on it,
it was the worst possible lineup.
I have experience,
so you newbies should leave it to me.
We'll be right back after a little peek.
Bon voyage.
-Higuchi, can't you scoot over more?
-If I do, I'll protrude from the machine.
How long are you gonna keep this up?
This is one boring prank.
Well everyone,
we'll make it back with the remote,
even if it costs someone their life!
-Until then, be well!
-Just go, already.
Will do.
How the hell did you do that?
What's going on?
We told you.
It's a real time machine apparently.
You can't be serious.
This isn't some sci-fi movie.
You may be in danger standing there.
You'll get melded to it.
-But how can there be a real time machine?
-That's what we'd like to know.
You'd like to know? You mean you're
riding that thing around without knowing?
He has a point. It's a little strange.
-It's enough to make my head spin.
-Mine too.
-It's a lot worse than spinning!
-Hello, excuse me.
Mr. Shabby!
What? Is that what you guys call me?
-Who's he?
-You're still here?
Is he an acquaintance of yours?
How can you ask that?
You introduced him to me yesterday!
Yesterday?
He's Ozu's cousin, right?
-What?
-What?
Is that true?
"Is that true?"
You were there too!
No, I wasn't here yesterday.
-And I don't have a cousin named Ozu.
-Cut it out, will you?
What the hell is going on?
Are you sure this isn't a prank?
Am I now the star of The Truman Show?
In the first place,
we're from different time periods.
What do you mean?
Everyone, I'd appreciate it
if you listen to this calmly.
What? Wasn't there a machine there before?
The time machine?
Yes! That! You know of it?
I'm not sure I'd say that
we know of it, but...
Well, I came here in that thing!
From the future!
-What?
-What? The future?
When in the future?
Exactly 25 years from now!
Which means I'm both from the future
and your junior!
-Junior?
-It's an honor to meet you all!
To summarize his story,
he's a man from 25 years in the future
and a freshman
at the same university we attend.
He's also a resident
of this apartment complex
and lives in the same room
as me, Room 209.
Who'd have thought this complex
on the verge of collapse
would survive another quarter-century?
My name is Tamura.
Tamura?
In name and appearance,
you're not very futuristic.
I mean, the last name Tamura
still exists in the future.
So are time machines
a normal thing in your age?
Not at all. We made it ourselves.
-What?
-You made it?
Those of us at Shimogamo Yuusuisou
got into a debate after drinks one day.
Oh, by one day,
I mean one day 25 years in the future.
Listen up.
A time machine really can be built!
-It's the truth!
-There he goes again.
You already got thrown out of
the laboratory for saying that!
You better let go of your pet theories
or you'll end up like Galileo.
What?
Are you saying Galileo was wrong?
-Did Galileo bend the truth?
-Here we go again.
-Okay!
-Huh?
If you're gonna insist,
then let's build one.
We'll spend our summer
following his instructions
and building a time machine.
However, if we fail,
you'll go back to researching eel!
And for the rest of eternity, you'll never
mutter the words time machine again!
-Eel?
-Got it?
I'll take that bet.
A time machine is possible.
I know, because I learned
the details from my future self!
-I can't read any of that.
-Is that a worm?
Here.
-Yuck!
-Gross!
Is he okay?
And that's how the Shimogamo Yuusuisou
Time Machine Construction Project began.
We spent the remainder
of our precious summer time
and threw ourselves
into assembling the time machine.
A lot happened along the way.
The scales of love and friendship tipped,
complaints came from the neighbors,
foreign exchange students came and went,
helping us with the project...
And three months later, on August 12,
in other words, today 25 years from now,
the fruit of our sweat and tears,
a time machine, was completed!
Thank you, everyone!
No, thank you for letting us
be involved in this!
Thank you!
As the pilot
of humanity's first time machine,
I crossed a span of 25 years
to arrive at 10 a.m. this morning,
having succeeded
in traveling through time.
So basically,
you're like the dog Laika
who was placed on a spacecraft.
That's right! No one else wanted to ride,
so they sent me, a freshman!
He was used as a lab rat...
And yet it doesn't seem to bother him.
When I arrived,
there wasn't a soul around.
I thought you might still be asleep,
so I knocked on all the doors,
but there was no response..
With no other choice, I went outside
and observed the Kyoto of the past.
And when I had gotten back,
that was when I ran into you guys earlier.
So that's it.
So why did you run away?
Well, that was because...
I was surprised to see the Master here.
You mean Higuchi?
Yes. I thought
that he was a time traveler too.
The Master is still a Shimogamo Yuusuisou
resident 25 years from now.
-What?
-What?
Oops, I wonder if I should be saying this.
He's still here 25 years from now?
Unbelievable.
"The guardian god of 4.5 tatami rooms."
"The Tengu who descended
to a 4.5 tatami room by mistake."
He has many nicknames.
We probably shouldn't
tell Master about this.
Not after that talk about forging
the future with our own hands.
He hasn't forged a thing.
So anyway, where's the time machine?
-What?
-Oh, yes!
The others took it for a little outing...
We took the liberty of using it.
Please forgive us!
Oh, so that's it.
It's no big deal.
I'll just wait here then.
But won't your friends be worried?
It's fine!
If I return to the moment right after
I left, no time will have passed.
So you can choose the time of day?
We didn't see any dials for that.
You mean I can't do it?
-You don't seem to know much.
-Indeed!
I'm the pilot after all.
The pilot should know more than anyone!
Oh, right. Well, no biggie!
I'll just wait here for now.
Even his personality was shabby.
But for now, we welcomed
this unlikely visitor from the future
into our group.
What's the Kyoto of the future like?
It's not all that different.
They still have the Used Book Fair.
And the bonfire will be held soon, right?
It's the same for us.
There was one thing I found moving.
You know that bathhouse "Oasis," right?
-In our time, it's a convenience store.
-Oasis will be gone?
It's just the passage of time.
But I was moved to see the real thing.
My father was a regular there.
Your father lived in Kyoto too?
That's right! And in this time period too.
My word...
The reason I'm living here as well
is because my father
chose my boarding house.
"A lion strengthens their cub
by dropping them in a 4.5 tatami room."
Or so he said.
Your father sounds like a man of mettle.
Although I ended up as the world's first
time traveler as a result.
And that's not all!
I've heard my mother
used to hang out here too!
Your mom too?
My parents said they met
when they were students,
but they refused to give me the details.
That's one of the reasons
I came to this time period.
It's almost like a movie.
Isn't that dangerous?
If you were to run into your parents,
they might lose the urge to have you.
What a horrible thing to say!
They're my one and only mother and father!
Yes, but you haven't been born yet.
If you do anything
to change your parents' mind,
you'll disappear!
Wait, I'll disappear? Why?
If you change the present,
you change the future!
-Isn't that obvious?
-You're right! This is dangerous!
Hearing all this, the unpleasant feeling
of uncertainty began to spread.
But then, that means...
The remote control...
Ozu and the others went
to yesterday in the time machine.
If they bring the remote back, the cola
disaster will have never happened.
That will create a paradox with our time
and those of us living in the aftermath
of the remote's destruction
could lose our existence.
We'll be breaking the laws of physics!
Those of us here now will no longer exist.
I ain't about to disappear!
You better take responsibility!
-Yes, yes. More realistic acting.
-Shut up, you!
The situation was just like the story
of Cowardly Men
at the Fall of the Shogunate.
While the Meiji Restoration
and a cola disaster
were hardly comparable in scale,
It was a total contradiction
of the universe's causality.
In other words, it's not just us at risk.
The entire universe is now
at the brink of destruction!
Sounds like things
have gotten pretty serious.
How can you be so calm?
Well, I'm not from
this time period, anyway.
The time period doesn't matter.
The entire universe will disappear.
What?
Hey! What have you people done?
In any case, when Ozu
and the others bring the remote here,
we'll return it right away.
If we do that,
there will be no changes to the past.
The cola was spilled just after 6 p.m.
If we bring it back
before everyone returns from Oasis...
The events will remain consistent.
What?
Why...
"COME JOIN THE FUN, YOUNG ONES."
SEITARO HIGUCHI
Translated by Bradley Plumb
In the more than 100 years since
the legendary English author H.G. Wells
published a book by that name,
the story has been passed down
by a countless number of people.
What is time?
For human beings,
it is a primordial mystery
and a universal constraint.
For that reason, we have constantly
dreamed of a machine that can travel time.
It is at once a rebellion
against the conditions of humanity,
a God-like power,
and the ultimate freedom.
So what's a time machine doing here?
Wait, doesn't this mean
that Ozu is now a time traveler?
Call me "The Ozu Who Leapt Through Time."
This footage was taken
around this time yesterday.
So it goes
to the same time of a given day.
There doesn't seem to be a dial
to choose the time either.
-That must be it.
-And the maximum jump is 99 years?
Yes, but if you use it again and again,
can't you go farther?
It can go to the future too.
-That sounds awesome!
-Well, well.
-What brings you all here?
-What?
I could ask you the same thing.
I came to get my glasses.
You. Did you find them for me?
Glasses?
That's right, glasses!
Didn't you promise me yesterday?
These are for the shoot.
My usual glasses were lost here.
And you said you'd look for them!
What are you talking about?
Forget it. I'll search for it myself.
Once again, we're not on the same page.
Hey! It's that thing! The time machine!
-You know about it?
-I saw it here yesterday.
But no one would listen to me then!
What's the deal? Is this a prank?
And you're all in on it?
-That's not it. This thing's real.
-Okay, okay. I'll play along.
I'm an aspiring actor after all.
Seeing is believing.
Let him figure it out.
-Now then, everyone. When shall we go to?
-If I may!
What if we went to see the future?
There's no better way
to use a time machine!
I was unable to agree with that opinion.
There is no guarantee
of a bright future ahead.
Well, wouldn't it be rough
if you find out you died?
That's true.
Well, I guess life would be boring
if you knew what to expect.
The future should be forged
with one's own hands.
Wise words as usual, Master.
Then, how about this?
We go to the Jurassic Period
and play with dinosaurs.
That sounds fun!
That's a pretty mainstream use, right?
However, the Jurassic Period
was 150 million years ago.
We'd have to use
the time machine 1.5 million times.
Even if we continued
traveling 24 hours a day,
we'd be dead
long before we reached our goal.
That won't do.
Can I give my opinion too?
-What about the spring of two years ago?
-I see right through your plan!
You want to give advice
to your freshman self
and pave the way to
a rose-colored campus life for yourself!
But you know, it's no use.
I'll just go with you,
meet the you from that time
and ruin your life even more!
A chill went up my spine.
A battle with Ozu over the boundaries of
space and time would not go well for me.
In that case,
wouldn't the Edo period
be a safe compromise?
That sounds more realistic.
We could get there with two jumps.
Well then, what do you say
we witness the fall of the Shogunate?
If things go well, we could even
get footage of the real characters
in Cowardly Men
at the Fall of the Shogunate.
Peace!
-Great idea!
-We could shoot everything on location!
I'll go get my equipment!
You guys are way too naive.
Even if that thing is real, there's no
guarantee it will work properly.
What do we do if it breaks
while we're in the past?
If that happens, then so be it.
No matter what age they're in,
people find a way to live on.
Other than Higuchi, the rest of us
modern children shared a look.
Maybe we shouldn't.
Let's test it in the near past, first.
How about yesterday to start with?
-Right.
-Right.
-I like the sound of that!
-I already did it once too.
Though our plans had shrunk in scale,
I suddenly had a revelation!
How about this?
At this time yesterday, the air
conditioner remote hadn't been broken.
We'll go back to yesterday
and grab the remote before it gets broken!
Then we'll have a working
air conditioner again, right?
-Wow!
-Wow!
-A splendid idea, Senpai!
-Way too good for you.
I'm surprised how you've grown, young one!
Okay, then! Let's go!
However, for all of us to reach yesterday,
there was simply not enough space.
We decided on a crew of three and selected
by playing rock-paper-scissors.
-Rock-paper-scissors!
-Rock-paper-scissors!
-All right!
-I won.
I just have no talent
for rock-paper-scissors!
The first round gave us these
three crew members.
Looking back on it,
it was the worst possible lineup.
I have experience,
so you newbies should leave it to me.
We'll be right back after a little peek.
Bon voyage.
-Higuchi, can't you scoot over more?
-If I do, I'll protrude from the machine.
How long are you gonna keep this up?
This is one boring prank.
Well everyone,
we'll make it back with the remote,
even if it costs someone their life!
-Until then, be well!
-Just go, already.
Will do.
How the hell did you do that?
What's going on?
We told you.
It's a real time machine apparently.
You can't be serious.
This isn't some sci-fi movie.
You may be in danger standing there.
You'll get melded to it.
-But how can there be a real time machine?
-That's what we'd like to know.
You'd like to know? You mean you're
riding that thing around without knowing?
He has a point. It's a little strange.
-It's enough to make my head spin.
-Mine too.
-It's a lot worse than spinning!
-Hello, excuse me.
Mr. Shabby!
What? Is that what you guys call me?
-Who's he?
-You're still here?
Is he an acquaintance of yours?
How can you ask that?
You introduced him to me yesterday!
Yesterday?
He's Ozu's cousin, right?
-What?
-What?
Is that true?
"Is that true?"
You were there too!
No, I wasn't here yesterday.
-And I don't have a cousin named Ozu.
-Cut it out, will you?
What the hell is going on?
Are you sure this isn't a prank?
Am I now the star of The Truman Show?
In the first place,
we're from different time periods.
What do you mean?
Everyone, I'd appreciate it
if you listen to this calmly.
What? Wasn't there a machine there before?
The time machine?
Yes! That! You know of it?
I'm not sure I'd say that
we know of it, but...
Well, I came here in that thing!
From the future!
-What?
-What? The future?
When in the future?
Exactly 25 years from now!
Which means I'm both from the future
and your junior!
-Junior?
-It's an honor to meet you all!
To summarize his story,
he's a man from 25 years in the future
and a freshman
at the same university we attend.
He's also a resident
of this apartment complex
and lives in the same room
as me, Room 209.
Who'd have thought this complex
on the verge of collapse
would survive another quarter-century?
My name is Tamura.
Tamura?
In name and appearance,
you're not very futuristic.
I mean, the last name Tamura
still exists in the future.
So are time machines
a normal thing in your age?
Not at all. We made it ourselves.
-What?
-You made it?
Those of us at Shimogamo Yuusuisou
got into a debate after drinks one day.
Oh, by one day,
I mean one day 25 years in the future.
Listen up.
A time machine really can be built!
-It's the truth!
-There he goes again.
You already got thrown out of
the laboratory for saying that!
You better let go of your pet theories
or you'll end up like Galileo.
What?
Are you saying Galileo was wrong?
-Did Galileo bend the truth?
-Here we go again.
-Okay!
-Huh?
If you're gonna insist,
then let's build one.
We'll spend our summer
following his instructions
and building a time machine.
However, if we fail,
you'll go back to researching eel!
And for the rest of eternity, you'll never
mutter the words time machine again!
-Eel?
-Got it?
I'll take that bet.
A time machine is possible.
I know, because I learned
the details from my future self!
-I can't read any of that.
-Is that a worm?
Here.
-Yuck!
-Gross!
Is he okay?
And that's how the Shimogamo Yuusuisou
Time Machine Construction Project began.
We spent the remainder
of our precious summer time
and threw ourselves
into assembling the time machine.
A lot happened along the way.
The scales of love and friendship tipped,
complaints came from the neighbors,
foreign exchange students came and went,
helping us with the project...
And three months later, on August 12,
in other words, today 25 years from now,
the fruit of our sweat and tears,
a time machine, was completed!
Thank you, everyone!
No, thank you for letting us
be involved in this!
Thank you!
As the pilot
of humanity's first time machine,
I crossed a span of 25 years
to arrive at 10 a.m. this morning,
having succeeded
in traveling through time.
So basically,
you're like the dog Laika
who was placed on a spacecraft.
That's right! No one else wanted to ride,
so they sent me, a freshman!
He was used as a lab rat...
And yet it doesn't seem to bother him.
When I arrived,
there wasn't a soul around.
I thought you might still be asleep,
so I knocked on all the doors,
but there was no response..
With no other choice, I went outside
and observed the Kyoto of the past.
And when I had gotten back,
that was when I ran into you guys earlier.
So that's it.
So why did you run away?
Well, that was because...
I was surprised to see the Master here.
You mean Higuchi?
Yes. I thought
that he was a time traveler too.
The Master is still a Shimogamo Yuusuisou
resident 25 years from now.
-What?
-What?
Oops, I wonder if I should be saying this.
He's still here 25 years from now?
Unbelievable.
"The guardian god of 4.5 tatami rooms."
"The Tengu who descended
to a 4.5 tatami room by mistake."
He has many nicknames.
We probably shouldn't
tell Master about this.
Not after that talk about forging
the future with our own hands.
He hasn't forged a thing.
So anyway, where's the time machine?
-What?
-Oh, yes!
The others took it for a little outing...
We took the liberty of using it.
Please forgive us!
Oh, so that's it.
It's no big deal.
I'll just wait here then.
But won't your friends be worried?
It's fine!
If I return to the moment right after
I left, no time will have passed.
So you can choose the time of day?
We didn't see any dials for that.
You mean I can't do it?
-You don't seem to know much.
-Indeed!
I'm the pilot after all.
The pilot should know more than anyone!
Oh, right. Well, no biggie!
I'll just wait here for now.
Even his personality was shabby.
But for now, we welcomed
this unlikely visitor from the future
into our group.
What's the Kyoto of the future like?
It's not all that different.
They still have the Used Book Fair.
And the bonfire will be held soon, right?
It's the same for us.
There was one thing I found moving.
You know that bathhouse "Oasis," right?
-In our time, it's a convenience store.
-Oasis will be gone?
It's just the passage of time.
But I was moved to see the real thing.
My father was a regular there.
Your father lived in Kyoto too?
That's right! And in this time period too.
My word...
The reason I'm living here as well
is because my father
chose my boarding house.
"A lion strengthens their cub
by dropping them in a 4.5 tatami room."
Or so he said.
Your father sounds like a man of mettle.
Although I ended up as the world's first
time traveler as a result.
And that's not all!
I've heard my mother
used to hang out here too!
Your mom too?
My parents said they met
when they were students,
but they refused to give me the details.
That's one of the reasons
I came to this time period.
It's almost like a movie.
Isn't that dangerous?
If you were to run into your parents,
they might lose the urge to have you.
What a horrible thing to say!
They're my one and only mother and father!
Yes, but you haven't been born yet.
If you do anything
to change your parents' mind,
you'll disappear!
Wait, I'll disappear? Why?
If you change the present,
you change the future!
-Isn't that obvious?
-You're right! This is dangerous!
Hearing all this, the unpleasant feeling
of uncertainty began to spread.
But then, that means...
The remote control...
Ozu and the others went
to yesterday in the time machine.
If they bring the remote back, the cola
disaster will have never happened.
That will create a paradox with our time
and those of us living in the aftermath
of the remote's destruction
could lose our existence.
We'll be breaking the laws of physics!
Those of us here now will no longer exist.
I ain't about to disappear!
You better take responsibility!
-Yes, yes. More realistic acting.
-Shut up, you!
The situation was just like the story
of Cowardly Men
at the Fall of the Shogunate.
While the Meiji Restoration
and a cola disaster
were hardly comparable in scale,
It was a total contradiction
of the universe's causality.
In other words, it's not just us at risk.
The entire universe is now
at the brink of destruction!
Sounds like things
have gotten pretty serious.
How can you be so calm?
Well, I'm not from
this time period, anyway.
The time period doesn't matter.
The entire universe will disappear.
What?
Hey! What have you people done?
In any case, when Ozu
and the others bring the remote here,
we'll return it right away.
If we do that,
there will be no changes to the past.
The cola was spilled just after 6 p.m.
If we bring it back
before everyone returns from Oasis...
The events will remain consistent.
What?
Why...
"COME JOIN THE FUN, YOUNG ONES."
SEITARO HIGUCHI
Translated by Bradley Plumb