Tatami Time Machine Blues (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript
I'll declare it here and now.
I've never once experienced
a truly fulfilling summer.
Summer is generally thought of
as a season of growth for humans.
"Deal carefully with boys and girls
after a summer apart," they say.
To show off your metamorphosis
to classmates in a moment of glory,
one must be early to bed, early to rise,
and follow a strict itinerary,
while refining your body
and polishing your mind.
By my third summer of dormitory life,
however, I had withered from desperation.
Summertime in Kyoto.
My 4.5 tatami room's climate changes into
climate as arid as the Taklamakan Desert.
In this severe environment unfit
for all organic life,
my lifestyle follows a one-way
descent into chaos.
My careful plans become mere
scraps of paper,
and the heat saps me of all urge
to exercise or study.
In these conditions, even the Great Buddha
couldn't achieve personal growth.
Alas, though my dreams perish,
my 4.5 tatami room remains.
The period of ascetic training that is my
college life had crossed its halfway point
and yet, I still had not enjoyed
the true fruits of summer.
I had failed to build myself into a man
fit to join society at large.
If I don't do something, society itself
will coldly shut its gates in my face.
The tool that was to enable my rebirth
was that great achievement
of civilization, the air conditioner.
However...
What?
Senpai!
What? Is something wrong?
Hey!
I see you came prepared.
I'm surprised that you're up for this.
What? Who said you could use that!
Senpai?
Are you really going to do this?
What? Do what exactly?
You know, what they talked about...
Now, then! We're ready for that dance.
-Wow!
-Dance?
What dance?
A naked dance, of course!
A naked dance? Why?
It's too late to play dumb.
There's nothing lamer than backing out
in the moment of truth.
We'll be your captive audience, so...
Excuse me, but I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Unbelievable... You just have to use this
and go like this, okay?
-Oops.
-The remote!
-Hey! Move!
-No!
How could you be so clumsy?
Forgive me.
What the hell
is going on?
Hey, Ozu.
You called?
Are you alive?
Don't worry about me.
I'll die soon enough.
The room where I reside is in a boarding
house called Shimogamo Yuusuisou.
Such a dull name might seem an ill fit
for student housing,
but it supposedly stems from the fact
that this used to be a swamp.
Perhaps that's why the summer sunlight
renders the entire building
into a bamboo steamer.
Without an air conditioner, the discomfort
level of my humble room 209
had reached its maximum index.
Man, what I wouldn't do
for a mango Frappuccino.
I'm tired of these Edo-era
mineral replenishment methods.
Shut up and drink.
Man, that's gross. Just disgusting.
The man drinking lukewarm barley tea
like a diseased toad slurping muddy water
was Ozu, a student in the same year as me.
Tyrannical to the weak, obsequious to the
strong, selfish, arrogant, contrarian...
A man without a single
complimentary virtue.
Had I never met him, I'm sure my soul
would be purer than it is now.
Are you the least bit sorry?
What do I have to be sorry about?
You broke the remote, you idiot!
This is a case of collective
responsibility.
First, there's Akashi, who suggested
that we shoot a movie here.
Then there's Jogasaki, who used
the remote without permission.
Hanuki's at fault too, for leaving
a half-empty bottle of cola around.
But the worst of all is you for trying
to perform a naked dance here!
I still don't know what that's about!
And after you offered
to be our entertainment.
Not to mention, the lack of a button
on the main unit is inexplicable.
It's a total design flaw.
The nurarihyon yokai had a point.
In the first place, this air conditioner
was a legendary unit that had been
installed in this room long ago.
Presumed to have been installed
without permission,
it was a living relic
of the room's first heroic settlers
and the envy of all current residents.
In the summer of my freshman year,
a long-time student,
who had his name written on his briefs,
introduced himself as Seitaro Higuchi
and shared the rumor about room 209.
Are you aware, young one?
An air-conditioned 4.5 tatami room
exists here in Shimogamo Yuusuisou.
It was as if he spoke of a magical land,
as distant as the Isle of Avalon pursued
by King Arthur in his dying days.
I had no idea that just two years later,
I would be given the honor
of moving to room 209.
However, despite moving from the first
to the second floor,
I only enjoyed the benefits
of the air conditioner for a few days.
If I'd known it would be like this,
I wouldn't have moved.
The heat on the first floor
was more tolerable than this.
The bearer of all responsibility
is him, Ozu!
Besides, can you really achieve personal
growth by relying on an air conditioner?
You'd better take life more seriously.
I'm putting maximum effort
into ruining it for you, after all.
Are you enjoying this?
I'll leave it to your imagination.
This Mephistopheles
leading me to damnation.
This jerk who whets his appetite
on the unhappiness of others.
The least you could do is fake regret!
Regret is an emotion I do not possess.
What's wrong? Do you give in? Do you?
Stop, already! It's a temporary truce.
We have a guest, you moron!
Idiots of a feather, flock together,
I suppose.
Akashi was one year our junior
and a member of the Misogi Film Club...
And, action!
She churned out student films
from her own unique perspective.
According to Ozu, who was also
a club member,
her works get mixed receptions
from other members, but...
At a rate of three films
for everyone else's one,
no one could deny her professionalism.
The heat has made us lose our senses!
Don't give her the wrong idea!
It's nothing, really.
For a moment, I thought I was witnessing
sexual gratification.
I figured I should look away,
but the door was open.
Well, it was an act of love.
That's for sure.
Just forget what you saw, Akashi!
I'm begging you!
Very well. I'll forget.
I've forgotten.
Akashi was making the most
of her summer vacation.
She arose at 7 A.M.
to greet the morning sun.
After which,
she ate a nutritious breakfast
and studied for two full hours
at the school library.
Then she wrote the script
for her next film
and spent the evening breeze
at the Shimogamo Used Book Fair.
USED BOOK FAIR
While Akashi spent her days productively,
all we managed to produce was body oil
from fighting all the time.
The summer time of our lives
was melting away like ice.
So you ended up spending
the night here, Ozu?
We held a wake
for the air conditioner until morning.
The Master even read a Heart Sutra.
Something, something, nothingness,
blah, blah, blah.
When the worldly self has been
eliminated, this 4.5 tatami room too
shall be like Karuizawa!
Of course, for worldly beings like us,
the temperature of the room only rises.
But I was cooled by the chill
of his wordless rage.
That's because you're a pervert.
That's my little-sister apprentice!
You catch on fast.
Higuchi. Seitaro Higuchi from room 210.
I know you're in your room.
Come pay your rent, immediately.
Is the Master still asleep?
When waking up, be an immovable mountain.
When avoiding rent,
be as swift as the wind.
That's impressive.
As hard as it is to believe,
both Ozu and Akashi served as apprentices
to that long-time student Higuchi
and began frequenting our complex
at the end of last year.
I had no idea what Higuchi
was a "master" of.
And while I prayed that Akashi didn't
waste her precious youth at his expense,
I couldn't help but welcome her presence
at this dump of an apartment.
By the way, Akashi.
Is there a chance of fixing the remote?
I visited every electrical appliance shop,
but my condolences.
No good then?
I did leave it with one of the shops,
but it seems there's little hope.
Akashi, you disappoint me.
Shut up, you! For all eternity!
It's as Ozu says. I've failed.
My fate of spending the remainder of
summer vacation in a 4.5 tatami furnace
appeared to be sealed.
At this rate, we really should do
as the Master said
and eliminate our worldly selves.
How about it?
The master already consented
to making you an apprentice too.
I didn't ask for that!
It's fine. Don't hesitate.
It's fun, actually. Will you join us?
Yahoo!
Such sweet words from her lips
nearly enticed me,
but I held back in the moment of truth.
I refuse to be anyone's apprentice.
Darn. Too bad.
If you'd agreed, I'd had invited
you to see the Gozan no Okuribi bonfire.
But, whatever. You'll just
have to watch it on KBS Kyoto.
Akashi, make sure you
keep your schedule open.
No, I'm not going.
Why? What for?
I already have plans
to go with someone else.
You didn't mention that yesterday!
Who are you going with?
And why must I report that to you, Ozu?
What?
Seeing Ozu's stunned silence,
I wanted to say, "Serves you right."
But in truth, it was secretly
a gut punch for me too.
Akasahi had plans to see
the Okuribi bonfire.
But with who?
Her profile remained as cool
as if she were standing
in the sacred groves
of Tadasu no Mori in mid-winter.
Akashi.
Yes?
Aren't you hot?
Extremely hot.
Yesterday, August 11, shooting
had begun from morning for a new movie.
"A tale of cowards at the fall
of the Shogunate. Samurai Wars."
That's right!
It was the fall of the Shogunate,
during the Keio era.
A student named Susumu Ginga
had traveled in time from the 21st century
and now wandered into the hideout
of the Imperial rebels.
But he also happened
to have a special talent.
Everyone who dealt with him
succumbed to total laziness.
Under his influence, the men
of that turbulent era lose their ambitions
and both the Shogun's men
and the revolutionary groups fell apart.
Though they were soon found dancing
in a circle, screaming "Why not?",
the space-time continuum collapses under
the weight of massive historical change
and the entire universe is destroyed.
The end.
Are you sure this is okay?
It's great.
The screenplay already
had the rich stench of a b-movie,
but unfortunately, the ridiculous story
came from Ozu and myself.
These apartments
aren't fit for human habitat.
The man who carried himself
so haughtily among the amateur filmmakers
was the club's boss, Jogasaki.
This room smells like crap.
As the electric meter spun
at heretofore unseen speed,
it became the barometer of my rage!
I don't think this is going to work.
This man of polite contempt
who couldn't resist pointing out
all the flaws of the screenplay
was Aijima, an upperclassman.
There are too many holes in the story.
With that attitude, you'll never
make anything entertaining!
It's been bothering me for a while now,
but who are you, anyway?
Just a helper passing through.
Well, no one asked for your opinion.
I also wrote the story!
Is that so?
Amateurs should leave
the filmmaking to us.
With that, my rivalry with Misogi
was set in stone.
From now on, I'll think only
of ways to hold them back.
And in the slimiest ways possible!
While admiring Akashi's steely profile
as she flitted around like a honey bee,
I swore to protect
the film's lovingly trashy qualities.
I'd prefer it if you didn't move that.
It's a statue of the Kappa Lord
who ruled the swamp that was once here.
We don't really want it...
If you don't treat it with care,
you'll be cursed!
What?
Doesn't it kind of look like Jogasaki?
You're right.
Hey! Who turned the heat on in here?
It's hot enough as it is!
You fools... Are you trying to kill me?
And, action!
It's the dawn of a new Japan!
Indeed, indeed.
Without a doubt!
Don't come near me!
People who get close to me
all lose their willpower
and become losers!
-A new dawn.
-Indeed.
No, don't! Stop! Please stop!
Just as every beach is covered in sand,
movie sets are full of trouble.
Jogasaki wanted to change
every line in the script,
Aijima constantly called for more takes,
Ozu, couldn't tolerate
shooting in white makeup,
-and Higuchi...
-A new dawn!
...wouldn't say anything other
than that one line.
Sword fights ensued over lunch,
lighting and sound launched
into a lover's quarrel...
Hey!
the landlord's dog Ketcha invaded,
and the assistant director disappeared,
leaving a note behind.
Take this!
No!
Oops.
What have you done?
Even then, Akashi pushed
to continue filming.
Whether the movie was headed
for collapse or completion
was anyone's guess.
For everyone except Akashi, that is.
The set descended further into chaos
when dental hygiene student
Hanuki arrived to show support.
As a friend of Higuchi and Jogasaki,
she made demands about their acting,
ignored continuity by giving
Ozu Kumadori makeup,
and gave the exhausted staff
cups of lukewarm cider.
-Why not...
-Why not...
-Cut! Okay! That's a wrap!
-What?
Even when Akashi called the shoot
to an end, no one believed it.
You mean we're done?
We're done. Good work, everyone.
It feels like we've left a lot out.
No. I got everything I need.
The rest can be solved in editing.
Was that really possible?
Was the movie really finished?
I thought of saying something
but soon sealed my lips.
As she gazed up at the sky, she looked
more satisfied than I'd ever seen her.
Let's move to the hallway.
It's the least affected by the heat.
Shall we seek the Master's advice?
Indeed. I'm sure the Master's
having trouble too.
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
Master, bad morning.
Eliminate the worldly self and this 4.5
tatami room too shall be like Kamikochi!
Sounds like he's in meditation.
What?
This lovable mutt had made digging
holes everywhere his life's work.
Whenever I saw him, it reminded me
of my life in this 4.5 tatami room
and I couldn't help but call out.
Hey! Ketcha!
Would you like to see yesterday's footage?
What? Which part?
Hey! Don't screw with my bathing tools!
Don't worry.
My feet are as pure as a baby's.
And action!
It's the dawn of a new Japan!
Indeed, indeed.
Without a doubt!
-Don't come...
-This is awful. Truly awful.
It has its own eccentric charm.
Master's performance is top-class too.
A new dawn!
Isn't that all he says, though?
No!
Oh, man, this is bad.
I'll be cursed by that Kappa Lord.
What?
What is it?
Excuse me...
You all are residents
of Shimogamo Yuusuisou, yes?
An indescribably shabby man had appeared.
Shabby hairstyle, shabby shirttail tucked
into shabby trousers,
and a shabby crossbody bag.
A missionary of shabbiness.
His appearance inspired
nothing short of fondness.
Did you just move in or something?
No, that's not quite it.
Are you looking for someone?
That's not quite it either...
Higuchi. Seitaro Higuchi from room 210!
I know you're in your room.
Come pay your rent, immediately.
Your landlord sounds so young and vibrant.
Howdy, everyone.
Today's as hot as all the rest.
Master Higuchi! How did you get here?
I just drifted along with the tide.
Drifted along?
In my own way.
Now then, who are you, young one?
Oh, I... It's nothing.
Excuse the intrusion.
Do you know him?
No. Never seen him before.
On another note, which one of you
snuck off with my Vidal Sassoon?
Vidal Sassoon?
The shampoo?
Correct. It's suddenly missing
from my bathing set.
If you confess
like a good boy, I'll let it go.
Why would I steal your damn shampoo?
Well, it's a truly extraordinary shampoo.
Watch me run fingers through my hair.
I don't care about your hair texture!
Ozu! Was it you?
Like I'd ever betray my master.
Master, you went to the bathhouse
yesterday, right?
Did you have your shampoo
when you came back?
Well... Now that you mention it,
my kit seemed lighter than--
In that case, you must have left it
at the bathhouse.
I'm sure it's at the lost and found.
You've matured, my young apprentice.
Being clothed with a false accusation
felt even worse in the heat.
It made me truly uncomfortable.
Now, then. Shall I go pay my rent?
Master, do you even have money?
I do not. But I will go pay
my rent, nonetheless.
Profound words.
I'm gonna follow him!
The generous Ozu will likely
pay his master's rent
and the landlord always treats everyone to
tea and snacks when they come to pay.
In other words, Higuchi and Ozu
wouldn't be back for a while.
Now it really feels like summer vacation.
I can't help but feel a little nostalgic.
Time, stop where you are!
There should be no question
why I'd make such a prayer.
And yet, I could see dark clouds
brewing beyond the summer sky.
Akashi had plans to attend
the Okuribi bonfire with God knows who!
Let us turn back the clock hands
to yesterday.
When the shoot was finished,
we made our way to the Oasis bathhouse.
True to its name, it really was an Oasis
for lost 4.5 tatami dwellers.
Man, that's gonna be
one interesting movie.
You can't be serious.
Are you unsatisfied, Jogasaki?
It was b-movie trash.
I'll never acknowledge it.
Well, it's an amateur film, after all.
In the first place, why did Higuchi
play Ryoma Sakamoto?
I couldn't turn down a request
from my apprentices.
That's the part that I can't accept!
What makes you a master?
The movie will undoubtedly
be a masterpiece!
The likes of you could never understand.
ELECTRIC BATH
Higuchi! Jogasaki!
Is that you, Hanuki?
Well, this is a rare occurrence.
A public bath can be nice
from time to time!
What? Leaving already?
I have things to do.
Why don't you just relax?
While walking near Mt. Yoshida last year,
I discovered a secret spot
where one could view the bonfire in peace.
I had sworn to one day bring
the object of my affection there.
It was my lethal weapon. If I didn't
use it now, then when would I?
My plan was to invite Akashi
to view the Gozan no Okuribi fire there.
Akashi said she was going
to the used book fair.
USED BOOK FAIR
There were bound to be many books
on the ceremonial fires there,
and it was natural that Gozan no Okuribi
would be a topic of conversation.
In that case, inviting Akashi to
Gozan no Okuribi was a gentleman's duty.
But in the final conclusion,
I couldn't manage to ask her.
First off, she walked way too fast.
Second, she was so intent on looking
at books, that I couldn't interrupt.
Third, a bit of clear thinking
reminded me that to her,
I'm merely Ozu's friend
or Higuchi's neighbor.
Would you like to see
Gozan no Okuribi with me?
And why must I do that?
Just imagining her icy tone
sent me into convulsions.
That's enough for today.
If not today, there's always tomorrow.
If not tomorrow, then the day after that.
Relationships between men and women should
progress carefully at their own pace.
They're not to be rushed just to keep time
with the schedule
of annual tourist events.
Okay.
Remember that I have my air conditioner.
If I'm early to bed and early to rise,
plan carefully, and develop step by step,
I can become a man worthy of Akashi.
Then things will progress
appropriately and naturally.
Or so I thought, but what awaited me
back at Shimogamo Yuusuisou
was that cursed cola disaster.
Akashi's face was unusually severe.
Perhaps she was worried about editing,
but either way, this was no time
to ask her who her date was.
Senpai.
What?
There's something bothering me.
Take a look at this.
Well, there's lots of things
that stand out.
Here.
What?
Right here. On this balcony.
Is that Ozu? Wait a second...
It's strange.
There are two Ozus?
I noticed it just now.
Does Ozu have a twin?
No, I don't think so.
Look at you two! Getting along so well...
Hey!
Is Higuchi here?
That probably means to keep the secret
about Ozu to ourselves.
He left with Ozu to pay his rent.
They should be back soon.
I thought the three of us
could grab dinner.
You two can join us if you like!
Thank you very much.
Is the remote fixed?
There's no hope, it seems.
Oh, my condolences.
-Whoa!
-Hey!
What the... are you okay?
-What the hell is this?
-The closet has a fragile equilibrium!
Outsiders should keep their hands off!
Will the movie turn out well?
Thanks to everyone's help,
I got a lot of good shots.
I can't wait! Higuchi was Ryoma, right?
How did he do?
As you witnessed,
he gave a legendary performance.
What? As I witnessed?
An actor who only repeats the same lines
can't be called a legend.
I'll bet your Takamori Saigo
was even worse!
-You'll bet?
-What?
Everyone seemed to be on a different page.
Just like when I returned
from the book market yesterday.
What the hell is this?
-What?
-Where'd that come from?
It was leaning against the wall here.
Is that...
No, I've never seen it.
Is it a vehicle of some kind?
I'll bet it's a prop.
Why would something like that be...
Maybe Higuchi found it somewhere.
That does seem possible.
But then, it's...
A strange object with what
appeared to be a chair in the middle...
Atop the board were a lever
and control panel,
while in the middle was a seat for one.
Everyone present at the scene
thought of one thing.
But we all stared at each other to see
who would be the first to put it in words.
Maybe it's a time machine.
Howdy, everyone.
You're all assembled, I see.
Higuchi, do you know about
this time machine?
I know about time machines,
but I don't know about this time machine.
One of Ozu's practical jokes?
No way. I'd do something
way more nefarious.
You have a point.
Still, whoever built it did a good job.
It even has dials for the date.
It's true! They spent a lot of time on it.
The dial allowed you to choose
a year and date.
while the plus and minus switches
seemed to indicate past or future.
If you do this, you can go back a day.
-Ozu! Get ready to travel!
-Yes?
To the far reaches of time!
You got it, boss!
Master! Everyone!
Thank you for your long years of support.
Though we may be separated by space-time,
I, the unworthy Ozu, will never
forget my gratitude.
Have a good life.
Goodbye! Be well, everyone!
All set.
What just happened?
He disappeared... right?
Was it the real thing?
-No way!
-No way!
You know that can't be.
It's not possible!
Then tell me, where did he go?
Well, let's look around.
Ozu might have planned this.
Right.
I'm sure he's laughing somewhere.
Ozu?
Ozu!
Ozu!
Hey, Ozu!
I wonder... What?
Well, well, everyone.
This is really something!
Where did you go?
To yesterday!
Yesterday?
The moment I pulled the lever,
the scenery warped like crazy.
When I came to, I was in the hallway
and none of you were here.
Confused, I walked out onto the balcony
and heard excited voices from the garden.
It was right during the film shoot.
A tale of cowards
at the fall of the Shogunate!
Akashi, you, Master, and Jogasaki
were all there.
The one in white makeup
being cut down was me.
I spun in mid-air,
returned to the time machine,
rolled the dials to today
and pulled the lever.
That's when I came back here.
This is terrifying.
It's a real time machine!
Cut the crap, you jerk.
Senpai! The footage!
What?
What's this about?
It's the footage from yesterday.
The part with clone Ozus.
Look!
Right? Look here! It's me!
The one in white makeup was yesterday's me
and the one watching is the me from today.
Just like I said, right?
Which means that there were
two of you there, yesterday?
That's right. You can see it
with your own eyes.
Then that means...
In other words, this thing here
is a real, actual time machine.
Translated by: Bradley Plumb
I've never once experienced
a truly fulfilling summer.
Summer is generally thought of
as a season of growth for humans.
"Deal carefully with boys and girls
after a summer apart," they say.
To show off your metamorphosis
to classmates in a moment of glory,
one must be early to bed, early to rise,
and follow a strict itinerary,
while refining your body
and polishing your mind.
By my third summer of dormitory life,
however, I had withered from desperation.
Summertime in Kyoto.
My 4.5 tatami room's climate changes into
climate as arid as the Taklamakan Desert.
In this severe environment unfit
for all organic life,
my lifestyle follows a one-way
descent into chaos.
My careful plans become mere
scraps of paper,
and the heat saps me of all urge
to exercise or study.
In these conditions, even the Great Buddha
couldn't achieve personal growth.
Alas, though my dreams perish,
my 4.5 tatami room remains.
The period of ascetic training that is my
college life had crossed its halfway point
and yet, I still had not enjoyed
the true fruits of summer.
I had failed to build myself into a man
fit to join society at large.
If I don't do something, society itself
will coldly shut its gates in my face.
The tool that was to enable my rebirth
was that great achievement
of civilization, the air conditioner.
However...
What?
Senpai!
What? Is something wrong?
Hey!
I see you came prepared.
I'm surprised that you're up for this.
What? Who said you could use that!
Senpai?
Are you really going to do this?
What? Do what exactly?
You know, what they talked about...
Now, then! We're ready for that dance.
-Wow!
-Dance?
What dance?
A naked dance, of course!
A naked dance? Why?
It's too late to play dumb.
There's nothing lamer than backing out
in the moment of truth.
We'll be your captive audience, so...
Excuse me, but I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Unbelievable... You just have to use this
and go like this, okay?
-Oops.
-The remote!
-Hey! Move!
-No!
How could you be so clumsy?
Forgive me.
What the hell
is going on?
Hey, Ozu.
You called?
Are you alive?
Don't worry about me.
I'll die soon enough.
The room where I reside is in a boarding
house called Shimogamo Yuusuisou.
Such a dull name might seem an ill fit
for student housing,
but it supposedly stems from the fact
that this used to be a swamp.
Perhaps that's why the summer sunlight
renders the entire building
into a bamboo steamer.
Without an air conditioner, the discomfort
level of my humble room 209
had reached its maximum index.
Man, what I wouldn't do
for a mango Frappuccino.
I'm tired of these Edo-era
mineral replenishment methods.
Shut up and drink.
Man, that's gross. Just disgusting.
The man drinking lukewarm barley tea
like a diseased toad slurping muddy water
was Ozu, a student in the same year as me.
Tyrannical to the weak, obsequious to the
strong, selfish, arrogant, contrarian...
A man without a single
complimentary virtue.
Had I never met him, I'm sure my soul
would be purer than it is now.
Are you the least bit sorry?
What do I have to be sorry about?
You broke the remote, you idiot!
This is a case of collective
responsibility.
First, there's Akashi, who suggested
that we shoot a movie here.
Then there's Jogasaki, who used
the remote without permission.
Hanuki's at fault too, for leaving
a half-empty bottle of cola around.
But the worst of all is you for trying
to perform a naked dance here!
I still don't know what that's about!
And after you offered
to be our entertainment.
Not to mention, the lack of a button
on the main unit is inexplicable.
It's a total design flaw.
The nurarihyon yokai had a point.
In the first place, this air conditioner
was a legendary unit that had been
installed in this room long ago.
Presumed to have been installed
without permission,
it was a living relic
of the room's first heroic settlers
and the envy of all current residents.
In the summer of my freshman year,
a long-time student,
who had his name written on his briefs,
introduced himself as Seitaro Higuchi
and shared the rumor about room 209.
Are you aware, young one?
An air-conditioned 4.5 tatami room
exists here in Shimogamo Yuusuisou.
It was as if he spoke of a magical land,
as distant as the Isle of Avalon pursued
by King Arthur in his dying days.
I had no idea that just two years later,
I would be given the honor
of moving to room 209.
However, despite moving from the first
to the second floor,
I only enjoyed the benefits
of the air conditioner for a few days.
If I'd known it would be like this,
I wouldn't have moved.
The heat on the first floor
was more tolerable than this.
The bearer of all responsibility
is him, Ozu!
Besides, can you really achieve personal
growth by relying on an air conditioner?
You'd better take life more seriously.
I'm putting maximum effort
into ruining it for you, after all.
Are you enjoying this?
I'll leave it to your imagination.
This Mephistopheles
leading me to damnation.
This jerk who whets his appetite
on the unhappiness of others.
The least you could do is fake regret!
Regret is an emotion I do not possess.
What's wrong? Do you give in? Do you?
Stop, already! It's a temporary truce.
We have a guest, you moron!
Idiots of a feather, flock together,
I suppose.
Akashi was one year our junior
and a member of the Misogi Film Club...
And, action!
She churned out student films
from her own unique perspective.
According to Ozu, who was also
a club member,
her works get mixed receptions
from other members, but...
At a rate of three films
for everyone else's one,
no one could deny her professionalism.
The heat has made us lose our senses!
Don't give her the wrong idea!
It's nothing, really.
For a moment, I thought I was witnessing
sexual gratification.
I figured I should look away,
but the door was open.
Well, it was an act of love.
That's for sure.
Just forget what you saw, Akashi!
I'm begging you!
Very well. I'll forget.
I've forgotten.
Akashi was making the most
of her summer vacation.
She arose at 7 A.M.
to greet the morning sun.
After which,
she ate a nutritious breakfast
and studied for two full hours
at the school library.
Then she wrote the script
for her next film
and spent the evening breeze
at the Shimogamo Used Book Fair.
USED BOOK FAIR
While Akashi spent her days productively,
all we managed to produce was body oil
from fighting all the time.
The summer time of our lives
was melting away like ice.
So you ended up spending
the night here, Ozu?
We held a wake
for the air conditioner until morning.
The Master even read a Heart Sutra.
Something, something, nothingness,
blah, blah, blah.
When the worldly self has been
eliminated, this 4.5 tatami room too
shall be like Karuizawa!
Of course, for worldly beings like us,
the temperature of the room only rises.
But I was cooled by the chill
of his wordless rage.
That's because you're a pervert.
That's my little-sister apprentice!
You catch on fast.
Higuchi. Seitaro Higuchi from room 210.
I know you're in your room.
Come pay your rent, immediately.
Is the Master still asleep?
When waking up, be an immovable mountain.
When avoiding rent,
be as swift as the wind.
That's impressive.
As hard as it is to believe,
both Ozu and Akashi served as apprentices
to that long-time student Higuchi
and began frequenting our complex
at the end of last year.
I had no idea what Higuchi
was a "master" of.
And while I prayed that Akashi didn't
waste her precious youth at his expense,
I couldn't help but welcome her presence
at this dump of an apartment.
By the way, Akashi.
Is there a chance of fixing the remote?
I visited every electrical appliance shop,
but my condolences.
No good then?
I did leave it with one of the shops,
but it seems there's little hope.
Akashi, you disappoint me.
Shut up, you! For all eternity!
It's as Ozu says. I've failed.
My fate of spending the remainder of
summer vacation in a 4.5 tatami furnace
appeared to be sealed.
At this rate, we really should do
as the Master said
and eliminate our worldly selves.
How about it?
The master already consented
to making you an apprentice too.
I didn't ask for that!
It's fine. Don't hesitate.
It's fun, actually. Will you join us?
Yahoo!
Such sweet words from her lips
nearly enticed me,
but I held back in the moment of truth.
I refuse to be anyone's apprentice.
Darn. Too bad.
If you'd agreed, I'd had invited
you to see the Gozan no Okuribi bonfire.
But, whatever. You'll just
have to watch it on KBS Kyoto.
Akashi, make sure you
keep your schedule open.
No, I'm not going.
Why? What for?
I already have plans
to go with someone else.
You didn't mention that yesterday!
Who are you going with?
And why must I report that to you, Ozu?
What?
Seeing Ozu's stunned silence,
I wanted to say, "Serves you right."
But in truth, it was secretly
a gut punch for me too.
Akasahi had plans to see
the Okuribi bonfire.
But with who?
Her profile remained as cool
as if she were standing
in the sacred groves
of Tadasu no Mori in mid-winter.
Akashi.
Yes?
Aren't you hot?
Extremely hot.
Yesterday, August 11, shooting
had begun from morning for a new movie.
"A tale of cowards at the fall
of the Shogunate. Samurai Wars."
That's right!
It was the fall of the Shogunate,
during the Keio era.
A student named Susumu Ginga
had traveled in time from the 21st century
and now wandered into the hideout
of the Imperial rebels.
But he also happened
to have a special talent.
Everyone who dealt with him
succumbed to total laziness.
Under his influence, the men
of that turbulent era lose their ambitions
and both the Shogun's men
and the revolutionary groups fell apart.
Though they were soon found dancing
in a circle, screaming "Why not?",
the space-time continuum collapses under
the weight of massive historical change
and the entire universe is destroyed.
The end.
Are you sure this is okay?
It's great.
The screenplay already
had the rich stench of a b-movie,
but unfortunately, the ridiculous story
came from Ozu and myself.
These apartments
aren't fit for human habitat.
The man who carried himself
so haughtily among the amateur filmmakers
was the club's boss, Jogasaki.
This room smells like crap.
As the electric meter spun
at heretofore unseen speed,
it became the barometer of my rage!
I don't think this is going to work.
This man of polite contempt
who couldn't resist pointing out
all the flaws of the screenplay
was Aijima, an upperclassman.
There are too many holes in the story.
With that attitude, you'll never
make anything entertaining!
It's been bothering me for a while now,
but who are you, anyway?
Just a helper passing through.
Well, no one asked for your opinion.
I also wrote the story!
Is that so?
Amateurs should leave
the filmmaking to us.
With that, my rivalry with Misogi
was set in stone.
From now on, I'll think only
of ways to hold them back.
And in the slimiest ways possible!
While admiring Akashi's steely profile
as she flitted around like a honey bee,
I swore to protect
the film's lovingly trashy qualities.
I'd prefer it if you didn't move that.
It's a statue of the Kappa Lord
who ruled the swamp that was once here.
We don't really want it...
If you don't treat it with care,
you'll be cursed!
What?
Doesn't it kind of look like Jogasaki?
You're right.
Hey! Who turned the heat on in here?
It's hot enough as it is!
You fools... Are you trying to kill me?
And, action!
It's the dawn of a new Japan!
Indeed, indeed.
Without a doubt!
Don't come near me!
People who get close to me
all lose their willpower
and become losers!
-A new dawn.
-Indeed.
No, don't! Stop! Please stop!
Just as every beach is covered in sand,
movie sets are full of trouble.
Jogasaki wanted to change
every line in the script,
Aijima constantly called for more takes,
Ozu, couldn't tolerate
shooting in white makeup,
-and Higuchi...
-A new dawn!
...wouldn't say anything other
than that one line.
Sword fights ensued over lunch,
lighting and sound launched
into a lover's quarrel...
Hey!
the landlord's dog Ketcha invaded,
and the assistant director disappeared,
leaving a note behind.
Take this!
No!
Oops.
What have you done?
Even then, Akashi pushed
to continue filming.
Whether the movie was headed
for collapse or completion
was anyone's guess.
For everyone except Akashi, that is.
The set descended further into chaos
when dental hygiene student
Hanuki arrived to show support.
As a friend of Higuchi and Jogasaki,
she made demands about their acting,
ignored continuity by giving
Ozu Kumadori makeup,
and gave the exhausted staff
cups of lukewarm cider.
-Why not...
-Why not...
-Cut! Okay! That's a wrap!
-What?
Even when Akashi called the shoot
to an end, no one believed it.
You mean we're done?
We're done. Good work, everyone.
It feels like we've left a lot out.
No. I got everything I need.
The rest can be solved in editing.
Was that really possible?
Was the movie really finished?
I thought of saying something
but soon sealed my lips.
As she gazed up at the sky, she looked
more satisfied than I'd ever seen her.
Let's move to the hallway.
It's the least affected by the heat.
Shall we seek the Master's advice?
Indeed. I'm sure the Master's
having trouble too.
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
Master, bad morning.
Eliminate the worldly self and this 4.5
tatami room too shall be like Kamikochi!
Sounds like he's in meditation.
What?
This lovable mutt had made digging
holes everywhere his life's work.
Whenever I saw him, it reminded me
of my life in this 4.5 tatami room
and I couldn't help but call out.
Hey! Ketcha!
Would you like to see yesterday's footage?
What? Which part?
Hey! Don't screw with my bathing tools!
Don't worry.
My feet are as pure as a baby's.
And action!
It's the dawn of a new Japan!
Indeed, indeed.
Without a doubt!
-Don't come...
-This is awful. Truly awful.
It has its own eccentric charm.
Master's performance is top-class too.
A new dawn!
Isn't that all he says, though?
No!
Oh, man, this is bad.
I'll be cursed by that Kappa Lord.
What?
What is it?
Excuse me...
You all are residents
of Shimogamo Yuusuisou, yes?
An indescribably shabby man had appeared.
Shabby hairstyle, shabby shirttail tucked
into shabby trousers,
and a shabby crossbody bag.
A missionary of shabbiness.
His appearance inspired
nothing short of fondness.
Did you just move in or something?
No, that's not quite it.
Are you looking for someone?
That's not quite it either...
Higuchi. Seitaro Higuchi from room 210!
I know you're in your room.
Come pay your rent, immediately.
Your landlord sounds so young and vibrant.
Howdy, everyone.
Today's as hot as all the rest.
Master Higuchi! How did you get here?
I just drifted along with the tide.
Drifted along?
In my own way.
Now then, who are you, young one?
Oh, I... It's nothing.
Excuse the intrusion.
Do you know him?
No. Never seen him before.
On another note, which one of you
snuck off with my Vidal Sassoon?
Vidal Sassoon?
The shampoo?
Correct. It's suddenly missing
from my bathing set.
If you confess
like a good boy, I'll let it go.
Why would I steal your damn shampoo?
Well, it's a truly extraordinary shampoo.
Watch me run fingers through my hair.
I don't care about your hair texture!
Ozu! Was it you?
Like I'd ever betray my master.
Master, you went to the bathhouse
yesterday, right?
Did you have your shampoo
when you came back?
Well... Now that you mention it,
my kit seemed lighter than--
In that case, you must have left it
at the bathhouse.
I'm sure it's at the lost and found.
You've matured, my young apprentice.
Being clothed with a false accusation
felt even worse in the heat.
It made me truly uncomfortable.
Now, then. Shall I go pay my rent?
Master, do you even have money?
I do not. But I will go pay
my rent, nonetheless.
Profound words.
I'm gonna follow him!
The generous Ozu will likely
pay his master's rent
and the landlord always treats everyone to
tea and snacks when they come to pay.
In other words, Higuchi and Ozu
wouldn't be back for a while.
Now it really feels like summer vacation.
I can't help but feel a little nostalgic.
Time, stop where you are!
There should be no question
why I'd make such a prayer.
And yet, I could see dark clouds
brewing beyond the summer sky.
Akashi had plans to attend
the Okuribi bonfire with God knows who!
Let us turn back the clock hands
to yesterday.
When the shoot was finished,
we made our way to the Oasis bathhouse.
True to its name, it really was an Oasis
for lost 4.5 tatami dwellers.
Man, that's gonna be
one interesting movie.
You can't be serious.
Are you unsatisfied, Jogasaki?
It was b-movie trash.
I'll never acknowledge it.
Well, it's an amateur film, after all.
In the first place, why did Higuchi
play Ryoma Sakamoto?
I couldn't turn down a request
from my apprentices.
That's the part that I can't accept!
What makes you a master?
The movie will undoubtedly
be a masterpiece!
The likes of you could never understand.
ELECTRIC BATH
Higuchi! Jogasaki!
Is that you, Hanuki?
Well, this is a rare occurrence.
A public bath can be nice
from time to time!
What? Leaving already?
I have things to do.
Why don't you just relax?
While walking near Mt. Yoshida last year,
I discovered a secret spot
where one could view the bonfire in peace.
I had sworn to one day bring
the object of my affection there.
It was my lethal weapon. If I didn't
use it now, then when would I?
My plan was to invite Akashi
to view the Gozan no Okuribi fire there.
Akashi said she was going
to the used book fair.
USED BOOK FAIR
There were bound to be many books
on the ceremonial fires there,
and it was natural that Gozan no Okuribi
would be a topic of conversation.
In that case, inviting Akashi to
Gozan no Okuribi was a gentleman's duty.
But in the final conclusion,
I couldn't manage to ask her.
First off, she walked way too fast.
Second, she was so intent on looking
at books, that I couldn't interrupt.
Third, a bit of clear thinking
reminded me that to her,
I'm merely Ozu's friend
or Higuchi's neighbor.
Would you like to see
Gozan no Okuribi with me?
And why must I do that?
Just imagining her icy tone
sent me into convulsions.
That's enough for today.
If not today, there's always tomorrow.
If not tomorrow, then the day after that.
Relationships between men and women should
progress carefully at their own pace.
They're not to be rushed just to keep time
with the schedule
of annual tourist events.
Okay.
Remember that I have my air conditioner.
If I'm early to bed and early to rise,
plan carefully, and develop step by step,
I can become a man worthy of Akashi.
Then things will progress
appropriately and naturally.
Or so I thought, but what awaited me
back at Shimogamo Yuusuisou
was that cursed cola disaster.
Akashi's face was unusually severe.
Perhaps she was worried about editing,
but either way, this was no time
to ask her who her date was.
Senpai.
What?
There's something bothering me.
Take a look at this.
Well, there's lots of things
that stand out.
Here.
What?
Right here. On this balcony.
Is that Ozu? Wait a second...
It's strange.
There are two Ozus?
I noticed it just now.
Does Ozu have a twin?
No, I don't think so.
Look at you two! Getting along so well...
Hey!
Is Higuchi here?
That probably means to keep the secret
about Ozu to ourselves.
He left with Ozu to pay his rent.
They should be back soon.
I thought the three of us
could grab dinner.
You two can join us if you like!
Thank you very much.
Is the remote fixed?
There's no hope, it seems.
Oh, my condolences.
-Whoa!
-Hey!
What the... are you okay?
-What the hell is this?
-The closet has a fragile equilibrium!
Outsiders should keep their hands off!
Will the movie turn out well?
Thanks to everyone's help,
I got a lot of good shots.
I can't wait! Higuchi was Ryoma, right?
How did he do?
As you witnessed,
he gave a legendary performance.
What? As I witnessed?
An actor who only repeats the same lines
can't be called a legend.
I'll bet your Takamori Saigo
was even worse!
-You'll bet?
-What?
Everyone seemed to be on a different page.
Just like when I returned
from the book market yesterday.
What the hell is this?
-What?
-Where'd that come from?
It was leaning against the wall here.
Is that...
No, I've never seen it.
Is it a vehicle of some kind?
I'll bet it's a prop.
Why would something like that be...
Maybe Higuchi found it somewhere.
That does seem possible.
But then, it's...
A strange object with what
appeared to be a chair in the middle...
Atop the board were a lever
and control panel,
while in the middle was a seat for one.
Everyone present at the scene
thought of one thing.
But we all stared at each other to see
who would be the first to put it in words.
Maybe it's a time machine.
Howdy, everyone.
You're all assembled, I see.
Higuchi, do you know about
this time machine?
I know about time machines,
but I don't know about this time machine.
One of Ozu's practical jokes?
No way. I'd do something
way more nefarious.
You have a point.
Still, whoever built it did a good job.
It even has dials for the date.
It's true! They spent a lot of time on it.
The dial allowed you to choose
a year and date.
while the plus and minus switches
seemed to indicate past or future.
If you do this, you can go back a day.
-Ozu! Get ready to travel!
-Yes?
To the far reaches of time!
You got it, boss!
Master! Everyone!
Thank you for your long years of support.
Though we may be separated by space-time,
I, the unworthy Ozu, will never
forget my gratitude.
Have a good life.
Goodbye! Be well, everyone!
All set.
What just happened?
He disappeared... right?
Was it the real thing?
-No way!
-No way!
You know that can't be.
It's not possible!
Then tell me, where did he go?
Well, let's look around.
Ozu might have planned this.
Right.
I'm sure he's laughing somewhere.
Ozu?
Ozu!
Ozu!
Hey, Ozu!
I wonder... What?
Well, well, everyone.
This is really something!
Where did you go?
To yesterday!
Yesterday?
The moment I pulled the lever,
the scenery warped like crazy.
When I came to, I was in the hallway
and none of you were here.
Confused, I walked out onto the balcony
and heard excited voices from the garden.
It was right during the film shoot.
A tale of cowards
at the fall of the Shogunate!
Akashi, you, Master, and Jogasaki
were all there.
The one in white makeup
being cut down was me.
I spun in mid-air,
returned to the time machine,
rolled the dials to today
and pulled the lever.
That's when I came back here.
This is terrifying.
It's a real time machine!
Cut the crap, you jerk.
Senpai! The footage!
What?
What's this about?
It's the footage from yesterday.
The part with clone Ozus.
Look!
Right? Look here! It's me!
The one in white makeup was yesterday's me
and the one watching is the me from today.
Just like I said, right?
Which means that there were
two of you there, yesterday?
That's right. You can see it
with your own eyes.
Then that means...
In other words, this thing here
is a real, actual time machine.
Translated by: Bradley Plumb