Taskmaster (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - Look at Me - full transcript

The participants present prizes they have won. Other tasks include long distance painting, intense staring and putting an egg in an eggcup. Joe Lycett has a personal task - to smile ever 30 seconds.

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Hello there. I'm Greg Davies.
Welcome to Taskmaster.

In a bid to win this priceless work
of art,

our comics are enduring task after
task of mettle-testing madness.

The series is still young, and so
are two of our five contestants.

Let's meet them now.

They are Hugh Dennis. Joe Lycett.
Lolly Adefope.

Mel Giedroyc. And Noel Fielding.

And to my left, it is my Admiral of
administration, Alex Horne.

You look nice. Mm-hm.

Thank you. Thank you, Greg.

I've grown a beard. I shaved it off
after last week's show because you



told me to. Yes, I did. And then you
said grow it back because

you didn't like it.

I said that without a beard you
looked disgusting.

You look like a disgusting
adolescent.

On with the show.

And today's my prize category,
which is, Alex?

We've asked them to bring in their
most boastful item.

OK, so the item you deem most worthy

of boasting about will gain its
owner five whole points,

and whoever wins the whole episode
will win five things that they can

really brag about. What's the most
boastful thing that you owe?

I own a cat that was previously
owned by Dali.

There's two things. I didn't know
you were going to ask me that,

and I didn't know I was going to say
that.



Um, Noel, what's your boastful item,
and why are you boasting about it?

I won the sexiest man of the year
award.

Thanks, mum. For the NME Awards.

I can't remember what year it was.
It was ages ago now.

2008. It's all gone to shit since
then. Page 46?

It is, yep. Here it is. Noel
Fielding.

"Boys and girls find him sexy."

Fact.

Lolly? I have a certificate from
when I was, I think, nine,

because I was doing GCSE maths.

At nine?! At age nine.

There it is. What did you do for the
six years before you were meant to

take it? I didn't actually do an
exam.

I just did of that level.

Oh, OK. What?
So this is... This is

meaningless! No, no, no,

as in I was completing questions of
the level of GCSE maths.

But it's a hollow certificate!

No! You're not going to be able to
take that into a job interview,

are you, and say, when I was nine I

probably could have passed GCSE
maths.

Mel?

I got best rough boar,

best boar in show and best new boar,
I think, yes.

All those awards for my guinea
pig.

All those awards. Here they are.
There we go.

If you won these awards with your
guinea pigs as a child,

it is impressive.

I was 45.
Really? I was 45.

Hugh, what did you bring in?

I always wanted to win a prize at
sport,

because I loved sport when I was at
school.

And when I was 18, we got through

to the final of a national public

schools six-a-side football
tournament.

OK. And I made the mistakes that let
Hulme Grammar School, Oldham,

win 1-0 on the day,

and I got a loser's medal presented
to me by the manager, then manager,

of Wolverhampton Wanderers.

There it is, look. What a medal that
is.

Did you understand what we wanted?

But in my mind, that is the most
boastful thing.

But you didn't win.

It comes to something when a fully
grown adult exhibiting guinea pigs I

know for a fact is going to beat
your entry.

OK, Joe? Um, I thought about this,
and I thought,

what is the thing that I tell most
people about?

And I realised that the proudest
thing that I have achieved in recent

years is this selfie with the
Chuckle Brothers.

Lovely. It's a very tricky, isn't
it?

I don't think it is, really, is it?

I mean, Hugh is going in last place.

Last place. Bang, straight in.

Because you can't boast about losing
a match.

Fourth... It's the Chuckle Brothers.

What?!

AUDIENCE BOOS

You shut your fucking mouths!

I will put him last!
I mean that.

Do you know what? I'm going to put
Mel next,

because it is impressive until I
found out that you were a
middle-aged

woman when you were exhibiting
guinea pigs.

I don't know why I'm putting Lolly
in second place,

because it's an absolutely worthless
certificate. What are you talking

about? That's the way it goes. Life
isn't fair.

We all respect you. This handsome
devil's going in first.

Bang.

Enough of all this boasting.
Alex, what is the first task proper?

Well, it has a bit of construction
and a bit of sport.

Hang on one second.

OK. Wow.

Oh. Keep the basket...

Keep the basketball on the running
machine for as long as possible.

You may not touch the basketball or
the running machine.

Great. The running machine will be
turned on in two minutes.

OK. OK.

Er... Um...

I can't touch it,

but other things can touch the
running machine and the ball?

Um, I'm just going to get some
equipment.

OK. Is that all right?
Yes.

A prime example of the mum run.

Lovely. Can we see some action,
then?

OK, do you want to start with the
fashion boys, Joe and Noel.

Yes, the fashion boys!

Don't know if this is going to work
or not.

30 seconds till it goes on.

It's going on in eight seconds.
Eight seconds?

Five, four, three,

two, one. Oh, no!

They've put it back up? No, that's
over now.

It's a valiant hard effort.
Is it? Fuck off.

Is that it? Yeah, that's it.

Do you know what I use if I want to
stop a

fast-moving basketball on that
machine?

Sofa cushions? Yeah.

Always! You essentially made a 1980s
children's den.

It is staggeringly bad!
Staggeringly bad.

Well, how quickly did the ball fall
off?

3.75 seconds.

That's hardly any time at all.
Three?

I'm pretty pleased with that.

I can't imagine that Joe's was any
better.

3.8.

Oh, nice. Oh, wow! That's tight.

0.5. 0.5. 0.05, yeah.

0.05!

OK, who's next? The women, do you
want to see the women?

The women. OK.

I thought I could blow this.

You know how you keep the ping-pong
ball in the air?

I do. I don't know.

Here we go.

It's so...!

Come on, oh! Aw! Oh. It's off, it's
off.

So, good. Oh, that was so...

The shovel, man, that was so good.

This is my biggest regret of my
life.

Your biggest regret of your life?

Yeah. When I die and they say if you
could do one thing again,

this will be it. Really? Yeah.

You're so close to genius, if you
just thought to hold on to the
bucket.

I don't know why I didn't. Very
impressive, give me some times.

It was a lot better than the boys.

Mel kept it on there nine seconds
and it would have been a lot more if

you'd had been better at it.

Yeah. Whereas Lolly kept it on for
15.8 seconds,

which is the equivalent of 50...
Yeah!

Very good. Yeah. That's the

equivalent of the ball travelling 52
metres,

which is the distance to the moon

and back if you are 26 metres away
from the moon.

We have to go to a break now, but
before too long,

we'll see how shamed footballer Hugh
Dennis keeps a basketball on a

treadmill. Until then, bye-bye.

Welcome back to Taskmaster, with me,
Greg Davies and...

And me, Alex Horne. Alex Horne.

Um...

Our five comics were trying to keep

a basketball on a frustratingly
active

treadmill. But we're yet to see Hugh
Dennis's attempt.

Can we see it now please, Alex?

Absolutely, we can. OK, but I can...

Hang on.

Good luck, Hugh.
Thank you very much.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Would you get me a chair.

A chair? Yeah, I'd love a chair.
I'll get you a chair.

Thanks. A chair,
please.

If you just put this behind
me, that would be lovely. Thank you.

Quite boring, isn't it?
Wondering if you'd might be able to

get me a book or something. OK, I'll
get you a book.

Just place it on there? Balance it
on there, that would be fine.

Could you pass me the plug?

The plug?
Yeah. It's plugged into that, Hugh.

Ah. So...

The clock's still running?

You've not touched the machine? No,
I haven't touched anything.

How long do you keep the basketball
along the treadmill?

It stayed on there four months until
storm...

Until Storm Doris came and...

..knocked it aside. Wow.

Yeah, so Hugh Dennis wins it and
then goes Lolly, Mel,

Joe and Noel in last place.
Hugh Dennis! Thank you.

And so, we can have a first look at
the scoreboard.

Yes. And there are three people in
second place,

but Lolly Adefope is in first place.

There we go. It's tight!

Crikey.

Very good. Well, I hope we're going
to have a lovely creative task next,

are we? Oh, yes?
No? Yes! Yes?

Yes.

Oh, hang on.

Oh, so am I allowed on the carpet?

No. I think...

Oh, I've got a good feeling about
this.

"Paint the best picture of the
Taskmaster.

"Only the paint and brush...

"may touch the mat, easel and
canvas."

"You have ten minutes.

"Your time starts now."

First of all, I am going to get to
the easel.

Because I can't touch the mat, is
that right?

I... My head is swimming with ideas
already.

"Also, you must smile at the camera
with increasing enthusiasm every 30

"seconds. You have ten minutes.
Your time starts now."

I'm pretty sure I'm right in
thinking that

only Joe was asked to smile.

This can't possibly be fair then,
because...

my time was taken up smiling at
the camera.

Right then, I know that everyone
will have worked out that there was

a way round painting directly on the
canvas.

No-one is going to attempt to paint
from that distance.

Because these are clever people.

Yeah, you can't do long-distance
painting.

Who would do, in their right mind,
would do

long-distance painting?

So, who's first?
Joe and Lolly!

Oh!

30 seconds.

Happy with the face?

Oh! That was close.

Thanks, Lolly. Thank you.

Thank you, Joe.
Thank you.

Lovely smile. Can we see any more?

Yes, there were 20 smiles
altogether.

Ah! We can see them all!

I counted 16 lovely smiles and four
difficult poo faces.

But what were the paintings like?

Lolly, your system was absolute
fucking madness.

We can have a look at the picture
now. Can we see them? Yes.

I mean, you've got to say, Lolly's
is not a huge surprise.

Given that he was tasked with
smiling and he was stupid enough to

paint from a distance...that is
incredible, I think.

Yeah.

Everyone knows before the show,

I famously have to remove the
knitting needle from my neck.

Who's next? Well, we're going to see
Hugh.

Can I just remind the rules?

Slightly complicated, only the paint
and the brush are allowed to touch

the mat. Fairly clear, so... Yeah,
that was absolutely crystal clear.

Only the paint or the brush.

Or the brush were allowed to touch
the mat.

Hugh, ready?

Oh!

It's quite pop arty, isn't it?

Hmm. Only the paint or...
Paint or brush.

I love how you pulled that off.
Had a wheezy laugh.

What were the only things that could
touch the mat?

Only the paint or the brush was
allowed to touch the mat.

OK, so you can't throw anything you
feel like down to the mat,

then just walk across it.

It's an out-and-out
disqualification.

Right. No! What does that mean?
Does he have to leave?

Just for this round. OK.

Oh, right. You can see his picture,
if you like? Oh, I like that.

It's a shame, it's nice.

That's when I famously grew my hair
all the way round my head.

Who's next? It's Mel and Noel.

Good. Um... Am I allowed to bring
the easel over to me with something?

An implement.

What was it? Only the paint and the
brush!

Right, that's an easel.

Yes. That's a palette.

Yes.

Roller, that's allowed to touch the
mat, isn't it?

Bit closer to the easel.

Now, how's your art? Really bad.

Has he got...? He's got hair, hasn't
he?

Oh, yes!

Big old mouth, look.
Pallid, quite pallid, isn't he?

Oh, make the eyes meaner.

Mean! Oh.

Sorry, Greg.

Just help me out with some of those.
He's got hair, hasn't he?

Loads of it. Mean eyes.

Big old mouth. Hmm.
He's quite pallid, isn't he?

Pallid. What's your problem, mate?

I'm really sorry!
I'm really

sorry, I can't look you in the eye.
That's all right. Here they are.

Well, I mean, two things strike me.

Pallid, big mouth, no hair, for you,
translated as a gibbon!

And Noel, I cannot believe that you
know my sex face!

Do you want to judge them?
I think I know your first.

But I don't know the rest. Yeah,
well,

anything shows me as a sexual
gladiator's going to win.

There we are.

Well, Hugh's in last place,
obviously.

Zero. Because he didn't understand
the rules.

Noel first.

I think that to be able to paint
what Joe painted from a distance is

so impressive, I'm going to give him
second.

Mel, you're just very, very
fortunate that I like gibbons.

And we'll pop you in at third.

Good. And Lolly?

I mean, you're very lucky not to be
coming last.

There we go, so Noel Fielding's the
winner of this task.

Good work. Bang!

OK, time for a commercial break.

Enjoy it.

Welcome back To Taskmaster,

where five boasting celebrities are

playing for each other's most
boastful

items. What have we got next, Alex?

It's time for the first team task of
the series.

Oh, lovely.

Gosh, there's a lot going on here,
isn't there?

Thank you.

Hello.

Lolly Adefope's here.

But she's not meant to be here.

Hello. Deskie, oh! Oh,
hello. No way.

What the hell's going on?

Are we going to start? Why not?

On the flour volcano. Scarface.

Do you want to read that? Or it's a
baking show.

What is that? Land the flour on the
target.

Great. Oh, right, OK.

BOTH: Land the flour on the target.

Oh, OK. You may not leave the
bandstand.

Most flour lying loose on the target
wins.

You have 20 minutes. Your time
starts now.

I think we've got to do it with
balloons, right?

That's got to be the best. But
loose.

It's got to be loose. Oh, hang on.

Are you keeping that?

I'm keeping that. Are you?

I'm going to melt them down. Right,
oh, we're off.

Now we've got to get going, haven't
we?

Wow, we've only got 20 minutes.

So, yeah, we've teamed them up.

We've got TV's most popular double
act, Mel and Hugh.

And they are against Joe, Noel

and Lolly. I was going to say Joe,
no,

but it didn't work because Lolly's
pronounced...

It looks like Joe, No and Lo but it
did not sound right.

Have you had a stroke, mate?

Anyway, Mel's calling Hugh something
different.

Deskie. Yeah, Deskie.
Why was he called Deskie?

He was called Deskie because at
university...

Yeah. ..he was...
a bit of a swot.

I worked quite hard. Deskie, then.

OK, Deskie. Here they are.

Hello, Hugh! Sorry, I couldn't
resist.

What are you doing with the darts,
Hugh?

Well, the target currently is there.

Yeah. Right? Oh, oh, we could bring
it!

We could bring the target here.
Bring it. Down to there.

Down to here. And then
you just drop the stuff on it.

Boom. Right.

Oh, no, that's not going to work.
Go, Hugh, come on.

I don't think this is going to work.

Oh. No. Oh!

Right. Hello!

Right, come on.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
That's amazing.

Cut that. Cut it there?

Are you sure? Yeah, yeah. Hold on to
it.

Where did it go? Has it sprung back?

It's gone down there! That's a
disaster.

Absolutely brilliant.

So maybe you can tip the target.

Very good action, Hugh.

Lost the dart. Bloody hell, this is
tricky, isn't it?

What we're going to have to do in
the end is just fill poppadoms with

flour. Hugh, roll bombs.

Throw those. Roll bombs.

Oh, yes, good. Just throw the whole
bowl.

Poppa-bombs, we've got quite a few.

Poppa-bombs? Poppa-bombs. Nonsense.

Then it would have...

Boom. I'm going for the funnel.

Oh! Two minutes.

OK, brilliant.

OK, here we go.

Oh, nice, very nice.

Deskie.

I mean, interesting techniques were
developed throughout the...

You're both Oxbridge educated, I'm
led to believe.

Yeah. I mean, the desperation of

filling a funnel full of flour is
just...

Yeah.

There was... With the poppadoms,
there was a system,

we could fire them over and in the
end, fuck it, fill a funnel full.

Just chuck it over.

How did they do, though?

Well, they had five kilos of flower
to play with and they got 193g of

flour on the target. Shall we see
Joe, Lolly and Noel?

Yeah. OK.

Or is there some sort of pulley
system we could create?

I'm going to see if I can get this,

sort of come onto the bandstand so
we've got like a pulley system.

Oh?

So good, though. This is a tough
task, I'm saying, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Yes! That's it.

That's it.

So, now, we can pass things down, we
can pass things down this.

Attach it to this with a clip.

Do you think? Yeah. That's a good
idea.

This is going to work, mate. How are
we going to...? Look, look!

Yeah. Oh! If it was a better, sort
of, pouch

then that would have been ingenious.
Get a

couple of these on the go.

Oh! Hello, friend!

Noel, what are you doing with the
fox?

I'm trying to cut the fox open, like
a drug mule.

You've gutted the fox.
I'm going to put flour in the fox.

That's it, that's it. Yes!

Yes! Yes!

Oh, what about making it wet and
turning it into like snowballs?

I'm loving that.

Look, these will work, I think
you're right.

Look, oh!

Yes! Yes, mate!

Oh!

Let's just throw
everything.

We're not done! Your time's up.

You can stop throwing things at the
table now.

Oh, dear.

I mean, that was like a condensed
version of Lord Of The Flies.

There was absolute logic.

There was... The drug fox mule.

The wet flour from Joe, an absolute
genius stroke.

And then all of a sudden, we've got
three lunatics, just...

Well, we were confident and then we
thought,

"Let's throw a trestle table off a
bandstand."

And I thought the trestle table was
madness but in case you didn't catch

it, what Noel threw off was a full
gas canister.

That was the red thing.

Yeah. So, they did well, they got
675g of wet flour,

which I then dried with my Bunsen
and that was 217g of dry,

loose flour on the target.

And he actually did dry the flour.

Unbelievable. Sorry, Deskie. But one
other detail,

they had slightly longer. I don't
know if that's fair or not.

Oh. Why? Because Noel meddled with
my timing system.

Have you got proof of that?

Luckily, yes. Your clock's not
moving.

You pressed pause on it.
I did not!

You did press pause on it. That was
not me!

Noel pressed pause on the clock.

I absolutely did not.

Oh, Noel! How the mighty have
fallen.

What don't we countenance on this
show?

Dancing... Cheating.

Cheating. Cheating. If anyone's
caught cheating,

they lose all their points, as do
their team-mates.

Oh, no! Not, what, hang on, all the
points?

Not all the points. Not all the
points.

I was going to say. No, only for
that round. Oh, OK.

So just to clarify,

we are saying the youngsters get
zero points and the parents...

The parents get five points each.

I'm afraid they do. That's the way
it is.

OK, Mel and Hugh are the winners.

Well played.

What's next, mate? We've got a
simple but complicated task.

Hello.

Hello, there. I like it when
there's...

When there's a variety.

An egg. A balloon.

Some bread. Some rice.

It could, it's almost a meal, isn't
it?

But possibly one in North Korea.

A bit of horse, a bit of rice, a bit
of egg.

And a balloon. This looks like
something I'd make at art college.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Where's the task?

Oh, there it is.

Without touching the egg or the egg
cup, get the egg into the egg cup.

You may only use the equipment
currently on the table.

If you touch a piece of a equipment
that another contestant touches...

Oh. You will both receive a
one-minute time penalty.

Per piece of equipment touched.

Fastest wins. Your time starts now.

So I can touch anything but if
anybody else touches it...?

But I'm not allowed to touch that
or that.

Wow, OK.
Fastest wins.

OK. Your time... Time starts now.

Absolutely fiendish.

Who shall we see first? Well, I've

decided to show you both Joe and
Noel.

It doesn't necessarily mean they've
used the same thing. But...

Yeah, they did. They did.

Fastest wins.

Your time starts now. Your time
starts now.

Done.

Done. Well, thanks.

Thanks, Joe.

See you again.

They get a one-minute time penalty,
but they...

But the technique was delightful,
wasn't it?

So swift. Bread glove. Who doesn't
like a bread glove?

Bread glove. 2.5 seconds by Noel.
2.8 seconds by Joe.

So swift... Yeah, but it shows great
intelligence.

Bam, there it is, bam.
Bam. Bread, isn't it? Bread.

Do you want to see how Hugh did it?
Yeah. OK.

OK.

So you touched the bread and the
chopsticks.

The obvious combination.

You will not see a more tragic
sight...

in any care home across the land.

Oh, Hugh!
Oh, man.

He tried to be dignified, though,
didn't he?

With his little chopsticks.

He softened the bread. He softened

the bread, he made a little hole in
it.

Maybe I over thought it a little
bit.

You over thought it for one minute
and 40 seconds.

Plus one minute, plus one minute, so
that's three minutes 40.

Oh, well done. Because you all used
the same bread.

Exactly, Mel. I hate to leave you
all on tenterhooks like this,

but adverts are literally what makes
the world go round.

Literally. See you soon, for the
final part of the show.

Hi, there.

It's part four of four and there's
live task just around the corner.

Where are we, Alex?

Well, they've all been trying to get
an egg into an egg cup without

touching the egg or the cup. Yes.

But it's not that simple. If they

use the same egg-shifting equipment
as

one of their rivals, they gain a
time penalty.

Unfortunately, by this rule,

all three of the men have suffered a
time penalty because they all picked

up the bread, OK?

Do you want to see Lolly next?
Here it is.

Without touching the egg or the egg
cup, OK.

That is the sort of innovation you
get from the youth.

That is a young person, using a
trendy product, Blu Tack.

I bet you've never even heard of
that, Hugh, have you?

What's the time? Well, she used her
gadget and it took 28 seconds.

She thought for a bit which is
sometimes a useful thing to do.

So she's in the lead. Crashing into
the lead, I would say.

So, it's just Mel Giedroyc to see.

Are you ready? Yes! Here we go.
Time starts now.

OK.

Right, erm...

Oh, it's... Oh, yeah.

Somebody might
have touched those already.

Oh, man.

Why is that there?

I just touched it again.

I just, look, I mean, I've touched
them all now, sorry.

But why is, why have they, why is
there a horse there, in a canter?

Oh, you see, that's good.
That acts as a sort of bread glove.

Exactly 57 seconds.

But then I've got a one, two, three,
four, five, six-minute penalty,

haven't I? Only if everyone else has
touched...

Oh, I'm an idiot! That was...

I really enjoyed that, though.

Why have you touched them all?

Which, which bit of it did you
enjoy, Mel?

I liked touching all the items!

Did you hear Hugh audibly sigh,
knowing he was

off the hook, during that?

She was a lot quicker than
Hugh, 57 seconds.

But she has... She touched
everything.

She touched everything, so she ends
up with a score of 5:57

whereas Hugh got 5:40.

And then it was 3:2.8
for Joe, 3:2.5 for Noel,

but Lolly wins it with 1:28 seconds.

I'm quite proud of that.
What's that done to our scores?

Oh!

Oh, look at that, three people in

joint first place, Lolly, Mel and
Noel.

Anyone could win
it. Enough of you all sitting there.

Could you please head up to the

stage for the final task of the
show?

There they all are, Smock The Week.

And beneath their smocks, Greg,
they each got a bucket of balloons,

some Sellotape. Right.
Some rubber bands and some string.

OK. Well, to formally read out the
task, if that's all right, I'd like,

I'd like Joe to do it. OK.
What a great honour.

You can't use your hands. If you
want to pop that open.

A little bit quicker.

Bit quicker. The moving sequel to
My Left Foot.

Looking at the Taskmaster at all

times and with your arms always
beneath

your hairdressing smock, attach as
many balloons together as possible.

You have 100 seconds.

Longest balloon chain wins.

OK, I was, please, guys, on my
whistle.

Yeah, don't you start attaching
balloons to each other now.

I think Joe may have ruptured his
perineum.

OK, shall we start? Longest balloon
chain wins, your time starts now.

Look at me, look at me.

You keep looking at me when you're
doing this.

How's it going, Mel? Really, really
strong.

Look at me, Lolly!

One minute left, one minute left.

Look at him, look at him, look at
him, look at him.

Look at me, Noel.

Look at me. How long is that
balloon?

How long is your balloon?
No, look at him, please!

How long is my balloon?
How long is your balloon chain?

Massive. Is it?

Ten seconds.

Not ready.

By the way, five seconds.

Look at him, look at him.

Stop touching your balloons. Stop
it, stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Comfortably one of the most erotic
experiences of my life.

It was very arousing.

It was. It really was.

I spent the whole time taking my
pants off and putting them back
on.

Oh, I look forward to your balloon
chain being dragged out.

Shall we start with Deskie? Let's
start with... Deskie.

Let's see what Deskie's been up to
under his smock.

Can I just give you it, there?

Yeah, the smock. What's, what have
you done?

Jesus Christ. Whoa. My goodness.

Oh. It broke when you pulled it out.
Sorry.

That's really good. Deskie!

One, two, three, four, five, six, it
is a six balloon chain.

Six!

Let's see what Mr Lycett has done?
Yeah. Oh, where is the end.

Ah. One.

Two.

Three. A three balloon chain.

It's a three balloon chain.

Lolly, you had by far the most
intense stare during that activity.

Oh. Oh, good.

I don't understand it. Did you say
make a crazy balloon squid?

There are ten balloons in it but
it's not as long as Deskie's.

I'm going to say it's a four balloon
chain.

It is a four balloon chain!

It is a four balloon chain.

Sorry, I missed that. Here you go.

It's all under there, all there.

Oh.

Oh.

One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven.

Seven! A seven balloon chain.
Seven balloon chain.

That is impressive.

Oh, yeah. Careful.

That is not the balloons or the
smock.

Ah.

Double ender. Oh, that was attached.

This was attached to that, and,
look, you haven't done it properly.

You destroyed it.

This was attached to here and you
pulled it apart.

OK, first, I deny pulling apart the
end of the chain.

He did pull it apart, Greg.
Four balloon chain, sorry, Noel.

Here's another one, look. And
there's the evidence at the end,
look.

The groove. Yeah, but I, I could say
the same of this.

You know.

That's now an eight balloon chain,
Noel.

We could all do that, couldn't we?

It looks like the guys who had to
design the Tube map have just had a

breakdown.

Where's Edgware?

Hey, I tell you what,

why don't we all come down and we'll
see how that's affected the final

scores?

Very good. Can we have a debrief,
please, Alex?

Well, it seemed to be generational
thing.

Joe just got three, Lolly four, Noel
four but the two senior citizens...

Hugh got six and Mel got a chain of
seven balloons.

Well done.

Well done.

So, dare I ask, how has that
affected the final scores?

Joe, unfortunately, had 13 points at
the end of the episode.

Two people were tied in second place

but they weren't Mel because she
wins

the episode with 20 points!

Mel is the proud winner of loads of
stuff to brag about.

Please, Mel, go smugly,

as smugly as you can to the stage
and collect your prizes.

So, what have we learned today?

Well, we've learned that Joe Lycett
has a lovely rictus grin and we've

learned that the adult Mel Giedroyc
exhibits guinea pigs and likes

touching things. Well, our winner
has made it to the stage.

A big round of applause for Mel.

Thank you for watching, everyone.
Good night.

Subtitles by Ericsson