Tall Tales & Legends (1985–1988): Season 1, Episode 6 - Ponce de Leon - full transcript

[thunder rumbling]

- I don't know about you,
but on a night like this,

there's nothing I like better
than curling up by the fire

with a mug of hot apple cider
and a good scary legend.

Tonight's story is adapted
from Washington Irving's
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

It's about a schoolteacher
named Ichabod Crane, who...

Well... you'll see.

[man shouting]

- Hello!

Hello! Hello!
[screaming]

[gibbering]
[animal chittering]



Hello!

[howling]
Hello!

Hello!

[man continues calling hello]

- This particular
little stretch of gloom

is about two miles
from a small Hudson River
settlement called Tarrytown.

[man calling hello]
About 30 miles north
of New York City by horseback.

[screaming man approaches]

Over there, the road
goes through... Sleepy Hollow.

People on the farms around here
speak of it in whispers
when they speak of it at all,

and they absolutely avoid it
about this time of day.

They say...
that a ghost haunts the place.

[howling]
Me?

I don't believe in much.



I'm a salesman.

[wolf howling]
- Who is it?!

Never mind.
No, no... Don't tell me,
I don't want to know.

[man screams loudly]

[gibbering]
[wolf howling]

Uh... my name...
my name is Ichabod Crane.

I'm just, uh,
I'm just a schoolteacher.

I... I have nothing for you.
See? No money, no food!

Nothing you would want.
And don't tell me who you are,

because I really...
I don't want to know.
[screaming]

[gibbering]

Like I said,
it's none of my business.
Oh, dear.

- It's the turn of the century.

The 19th century.

- Hello!

- Settlements are hard to find.

Especially if you're looking
for them in the dark.

- Hello! Is anyone there?!

- Keep coming!

- I'm coming!

- Keep coming!
- I'm coming!

I'm coming.
- Keep coming!

Soup?

- Who... who are you?

- Doffue Van Tassel. Mr. Crane.
- Ah...

How...
how did you know my name?

I presume
you're the new schoolmaster
they've been expecting.

You don't look like a farmer,
the way you came
through the brush.

- No, I suppose I don't,
but you know, I think
there was something back there.

- Oh?

Ah, no, no. no. Just the woods.

'Course, people in these parts
like to make up silly stories.

You know, make life
a little more exciting?

Pass the time
on those long autumn nights.

- Like what?
- Oh...

Silly legend, really.

For example, there's the one
about the highwayman that rides
through these woods

and spirits away
any unsuspecting writer
that may pass by.

[Crane chuckling]
- Well, the highwayman,

while being a nuisance,
is hardly a--

- Oh, did I mention
that he was dead?

- He's dead?
- Yes.
- Thus the end of the legend.

- No, no, no.
According to the legend,
he still rides.

- Yet he's dead.
- Yeah. Silly, isn't it? Silly.

Did I mention
that he was missing his head?

- His head?!
- Yes. Silly, isn't it?

- Yes.
[laughter]
It's so silly.

'Course, these legends usually
take root long about Halloween,
you know.

Along with other childish things
like popcorn balls,

mulled cider...
witches on broomsticks.

- Halloween is hardly
a childish matter.

It's the one night
I stay home tucked in my bed.

I mean, why go out and face
the chance of bumping into, uh,
into, uh...

...trees?
- You find that works?

- No. No,
I don't believe in it myself,

but you can't completely
disregard.
I mean...

You have to do something
to guard yourself against, uh...
against, uh--

- Lizard wine!

- Wine?
- Lizard wine.

Guaranteed repellent.
Spirits and what have you.

'Course, I, uh...
I thought it was a cough remedy,

until I showed it
to some Gypsies,

and they used it to frighten
away some elephant spirit.

[laughing]
Must've worked.

I ain't seen an elephant
in these parts in years.

[laughter]
[mournful cry]: Doffue?

- Who was that?!
- My nephew Hendrick...
sleeping in the wagon.

Dropping him off
at his dada's in the morning.

- Oh.

- I suppose
he'll be one of your pupils,
Mr. Crane,

when you take your new position.

- No, no.
I've completely changed
my mind on that matter. I...

I have been very nervous
disposition. Mr. Van Tassel.

I can see immediately...
that this area...

is not suited for me at all.
No, no, no.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

I do hope it wasn't me
that put you off.
Oh, my word.

I would be sorry about that.

Oh, Doffue, Doffue.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Shame on you for going on
and worrying the good scholar.

More soup?

The next day, on our way
to my brother's house,
Mr. Crane seemed like a new man

His fears of the previous night
had disappeared in the light
of the warm autumn sun.

Or so I thought.

- Naturally, I wouldn't think
of leaving them high and dry.

I'm an honourable man.

- Good for you, Mr. Crane.

- No, I'll certainly stay a bit
until they get someone else.

But I'll certainly be gone
by, say, Halloween.

[neighing]

- Good stuff.
[Crane chuckling]

Effective.

- No doubt.

- Somebody's coming.
- Oh, really?

- Whoa!

- Doffue.
- Brom. Where you going?

- I don't know,
I thought I'd drop over
and see your niece.

- Look what I've got!
- Ah, who made them for you?
- Mr. Crane!

- Ah.
That shows a steady nature.

- Mr. Bones, Mr. Crane.
- How'd you do?

- Mr. Crane's taking over
the position of schoolmaster.

Unfortunately,
only temporarily,
due to a nervous condition.

- Well, that was last night.
It was dark, I was lost.

- Well,
good paper-dolly-cutting men
are hard to find.

- You're gonna take Katrina
to the fair, Brom?
- Who else?

- Daredevil gonna win that race?
- Who else, lad?

- I'm bettin' on you, Brom.
Nobody can beat Daredevil.

- Yessir, he'll be coming off
that starting line like he was
bolting from the gates of hell.

- Devil? Hell?

- Passed your brother
on the road with Hendrick.

Had the new schoolteacher
with 'em.

- Ah, good.
The man's only a week late.

- And about a farthing short,
I'd say, too.
[laughter]

- Hello, Brom.
- Hello, Katrina.

- Stay for tea?
I've just made a pot
by sheer coincidence.

- Imagine that.

- You don't want any tea,
Father... do you?

- Me? Oh, well...

[chuckling]

If you'll excuse me, children,

I've got some, uh,
corn to shuck.

- One lump or two?

- Katrina Van Tassel,
you know I never have sugar
in my tea.

- Nevertheless,
a lady never assumes.

- I like my tea strong.
Sugar's only for namby-pambies.
Go on, feel that arm.

- Oh. Oh, Brom Bones,
you're such a lummox.

- Well, what time should
this lummox call for you
on Saturday?

- Saturday? What's Saturday?

- What's Saturday?
Why, the fair.

Haven't you been listening
to the town crier?
Everybody's talking about it.

- I don't recall
receiving any invitation.

- Invitation! Katrina,
we've been going to the fairs
in this county

since before we could walk.

Every year,
it's the winter fair,

the spring fair,
the harvest fair.

Don't forget that turnip fair,
either.

- And every year,
I expect a timely invitation
to the winter fair,

the spring fair,
the harvest fair
and the turnip fair.

- Well, a fair ain't a fair
till you and I show up
arm-in-arm.

[whinnying]
It's not another suitor, is it?
I'll tear his face off, I will!

- Strength isn't everything.

- Still, it's not a bad thing
to fall back on in a fight.

- A girl needs some...
sensitivity, some refinement.

[boy]: Come inside.
- Who's that?

- Why, that's your uncle.
- No, no, the one with him.

- Well, that's your little
brother Hendrick.

- Assuming I already know
the horse, who's left?

- Oh, that. That's only
the new schoolteacher.
Crane I think is his name.

- Hmm.
- Easy to see
how he came by it, huh?

- The new schoolteacher.

Well, he certainly walks well.

- Wait till you see
what the man can do
with a pair of scissors.

- Katrina, look what I got!
- Oh!

- Isn't it nice?
- Why, yes, it's just wonderful,
Hendrick.

- Didn't I tell you
the man was a genius?
- Katrina.

- Uncle Doffue.

- Katrina, meet the man
we've all been expecting
to take over the school.

Katrina Van Tassel,
Mr. Ichabod Crane.

- How'd you do.

- Oh, Mr. Crane, how elegant.

[Crane chuckling]
Isn't it, Brom?

- And how.

- Unfortunately,
he's only an interim man,
it seems. Here temporarily.

- Oh, Mr. Crane,
only temporarily?

- Well, I, uh...
[chuckling]

- What a pity.
What a loss for the children.

- What a crying shame.
So, uh, when are you leaving,
Crane?

- And we've been told
you have such a lovely
singing voice.

- Oh, please.
- We're all so anxious
to hear you in church.

- Oh, dear. Well, I--
- Oh, Mr. Crane, you don't know.

All the ladies in our region
have been counting on you
to take over our choir.

- Choir? A ladies' choir? Well.
[chuckling]

- More's the pity.

What it needs
is strong male guidance.

Why, we're absolutely useless
without a leader.

- Well...
- I'd say he's weakening.

- And I know for a fact
that everyone is looking forward

to being favoured
with your presence
for tea and cookies.

- Cookies?
- I think
that just about did it.

- We've been drawing straws
to see who will be the first.

- Cookies. I love cookies.
Sugar cookies, butter cookies--

- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
You should try my butter--

- Katrina!

- Yes, Brom?

[sighing]
- Nothing.

- They just melt in your mouth.
- Mm-mm-mm.
- Katrina!

- Yes, Brom?

[growling]

Mr. Crane...

Stay for tea?

- Mm.
[chuckling]

And cookie?

- And so it was
that Ichabod Crane,

without Brom Bones's
complete approval,

came to be
the permanent schoolmaster
of the region.

But even with the security
his newfound position
brought him...

[howling]

...there's one thing
the new schoolteacher feared
with all his being.

The night.

His first near Sleepy Hollow.

- Good night, Mr. Crane.
So happy to have you here.

[chuckling]
- It's a pleasure to be here,
ma'am.

- Have a restful night,
Mr. Crane.

- I will. I will.

[howling]

If I live through it!

Oh... alright... relax.

We had a good day.
[howling]

And some pleasant company.

Doffue is quite a fellow.

Hendrick. Hendrick is a prize.

And Katrina...
[chortling]

There's a peach worth picking.

I'm not too clear on Brom Bones,
though.

Strange fellow. Strange fellow.

I shall watch him.
[howling]

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep,

and if I...
die before I wake...

...bring me back to life.

Ooh! Oh!

Ooh. Ah...

Alright, here I go.
I'm getting into bed.

Ah. Ah! I'm fine so far.

Yes. Yes.
[howling]

[sighing]

[howling]

[mournful howling]

[silence]

I hate the night.

It's so... quiet.

[screaming]

Ah! Protect me!

[gibbering]

[Doffue]: When the man
got any sleep is beyond me.

- One and one is two.

Two and two is four. Four...

[Doffue]: But while the night
was filled with horrors,

the rising of the sun
seemed to bring a new vitality
to the schoolteacher.

That and, I'm sure,
several pots of coffee.

- ...64...
- He turned out to be
a conscientious man,

and ever bore in mind
the golden maxim:

"Spare the rod
and spoil the child."

As a child myself,
I always hated that maxim.

- ...256 is--
- Thank you. Thank you,
Hendrick. Return to your seat.

We've had quite enough
of your shenanigans,
Mr. Van Der Kar.

Will you please
assume the angle.

- Ah, gee.
[laughter]

- That will be quite sufficient,
Mr. Van Der Kar.

You ready? This will hurt me
more than it will hurt you.

- Ah!
[laughter]

[crying out]
[Doffue]: If Ichabod only knew,

perhaps he'd award the lad
high marks for dramatics.

- Ouch!
- You children are possessed!

[Doffue]: I guess when a man
is as skittish as poor Ichabod,
he sees the devil...

in almost anything.

- Pick up your slates, please,
and your chalk.

[Doffue]: Even the most pastoral
of settings was fraught
with terror for Ichabod.

- More?
- Uh, no, thank you, sir.

It's amazing how filling
olives can be.

[chuckling]
- Oh, my God!

Keep me, protect me.

Hendrick, don't move!

- What is it, Mr. Crane?!
[both screaming]

- A spider!
- Just a spider?
- Just a spider?!

That's what he'd like us
to think!
Actually, it's Satan himself!

- What should I do?!
- Stop!

Stop! Follow my instructions
carefully.

Open your eyes and mouth
as wide as you can.

Okay. Now...
now we'll keep him

from spinning his web
and spinning them shut.

Turn in a circle
all the time saying,
"I like Swiss chard, I like--"

- But I don't like Swiss chard!
- Never mind! Do it, do it, lad!
Turn!

- I like--
- No! Turn the other way.

- I like Swiss chard!
I like Swiss chard!

- Yeah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
- I like Swiss chard!

- Run, Lucifer! Run!
You'll not reap any souls here
today!

- I like Swiss chard!
- You can stop, lad.
He's gone back to hell.

Oh, Hendrick. Hendrick, lad.
I'm sorry if I frightened you.

[chuckling]
You're just an innocent babe,
aren't you?

You look around here,
all you see are the trees,

a babbling brook,
the beasts of the forest--

- Spiders?
- Exactly. Exactly!

Lying below the flora and fauna
of this garden of Eden
are evil, evil ugly things.

- Things?
- Yes. That's why I keep this...

[chuckling]
...lucky rabbit's foot.

It guards me against hobgoblins,
evil spirits, things that go
bump in the night.

- Oh, those things.

- Yes. That's not all I keep
on my person.

I also have a four-leaf clover.

[chuckling]
A lucky penny. And this.

Garlic!
- Ugh!
So that's what that smell is.

[chuckling]
- That, my dear boy,
will keep away the undead.

- I think it can with
the living, as well.

- Enough frivolity.
Too much fun can spoil
a young mind.

Shall we head back?

- Oh, sure.

I like Swiss chard.
I like Swiss chard.
I like Swiss chard.

[Doffue]: Hendrick was not
the only one impressed by Crane.

Farmers' wives were vying
with each other

for the privilege of hosting
his weekly choir practice.

To Crane, it meant travelling
through this cursed country
alone.

Ah, but the prospect
of good food and pretty women,

Katrina especially,
helped the schoolteacher
find the courage.

- Ah!
[yowling]

Protect me! Keep me!

Yes. Stay, kitty.
Nice kitty. Yes.

[Doffue]: Obviously,
he hasn't found it yet.

- Cute, adorable, little...
messenger from hell!
[demented laughter]

- Mr. Crane, is something wrong?
Is someone chasing you?

- A highwayman?

- Chasing me? No, no, no, no.
I was just, uh...
I was, uh, running.

- From what?
- From, uh, from fat.

Yes, from fat, bad digestion
and an early death.
[laughing]

Running is good for the body.
Why, it's all the rage
in New York.

[all]: It is?
- Oh, yes.

- Well, we'll just have
to try it, then.

Oh, Mr. Crane, it is so good
to have a gentleman

of such bearing
and sophistication

to enlighten and upgrade
our rather humdrum
rural culture.

- Madam, I am your servant.

- Oh, Katrina, we almost forgot
to feed the cat.

- Cat? Oh, you have a cat here.

- Oh, he's outside.
I'll just get him.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
Don't do that.
I'll feed him. Yes.

[birdsong]
[meowing]
He's fed!

- Mr. Crane!

- Oh, no, kitty likes it better
that way.

Yes, it helps to sharpen
his primitive hunting instincts.

Uh, besides, uh,
we can't have him in the house
before choir practice.

Uh, he has fur,
and when fur flies,

it gets caught in our...

vocal cords, yes.
[exclamations]

[Crane chuckling]
Yes.

You know they've banned felines
from the Paris Opera
because of it?

- They have?!
[exclamations]

- Let's begin
with a familiar selection
on page two, please.

- Ahem.
[all harmonizing to harmonica]

♪ Drink to me

♪ Only with thine eyes

♪ And I will

♪ Pledge with mine

♪ Or leave a kiss

♪ Within the cup

[chuckling]

♪ And I'll not ask for wine
[laughter]

[indistinct chatter]

- For the benefit
of the children,

and those of you
that practice temperance,

this here is the local tavern.

Come to think of it,
it's the only tavern.

Nothing much goes on
in this region

that hasn't been
talked about here.

[boisterous laughter]

I wish those boys
would hold it down a mite!

[loud chatter]

Well...
if you can't beat 'em...

- What is it about him anyway?
Katrina's swarming all over him,
her mother too, I think.

- Ah, they're all like that.

Inviting him into our homes,
cooking for him.

- Don't tell me.
We're discussing
the schoolteacher.

- Schoolteacher, ha!
If she can't see him
for what he is -

which is not much, I think--

- You ought to challenge him
to a fight.
That's what I think.

- Yeah. There you go.
- Nah. I'd turn him into
bone splinters with one blow.

No, that's...
that's no challenge.

- Besides, from what I can see
of the man's timid nature,

he'd faint before you could
clench your fist.

- Hmm. What's that?

- The man's a coward?

- Did I say that?
I did not say that.
It was the ale talking.

- He seemed a bit skittish
and, well, the paper dolls,
that, uh...

- The man has an artist's mind.
- The man has a chicken's heart.

- What are you gonna do
about it, Brom?
[chuckling]

- I dunno.
[sighing]
But I'll be thinking on it.

[chortling]

[indistinct chatter]
[laughter]

- Much as I hate to admit it...
[background chatter]

...my big mouth
was an invaluable aid
to Brom's thinking.

He wasted no time.

That night,
Halloween choir practice,

Brom launched his scary scheme
to rid the Hollow
of its schoolmaster.

[distant scream]

[muttering]

- Ichabod! Ichabod Crane!

[screaming]

- As lame as Brom's
first attempt was,

it scared Ichabod.

- Choir practice...

- But Brom was greatly aided
by the schoolteacher's
worst fear.

- No...
- The night itself.

Brom's practical joke had merely
provided a starting point

for the terror that Ichabod
was fully able to inflict
on himself.

- Black cat. Not a black cat.
Oh, not...

- He's missing his head.
- Of course I'll stay.

- He's missing his head.
- ...from the gates of hell.

- He's missing his head.
- Bulging from the gates
of hell.

- Not me. I've been good.
- Bolting from the gates
of hell.

[demented laughter]

- Taste my butter cookies?
[echoing]

[babel]

- You can't!
- Just a spider.

- I love Swiss chard.
- Is someone chasing you?

- Where's your body?
- Is someone chasing you?

- Don't you see?
[demented laughter]
A crucifix!

- Is someone chasing you?
[demented laughter]

- Where's your body?
[maniacal laughter]

[Doffue]: I still don't know
when the man got any sleep.

The dawn brought an end
to Ichabod's
terror-filled night.

That day, the schoolteacher
arrived at his classroom
especially early,

for it was a place of learning,

a place where he felt safe,
comfortable,

and in control.
[screaming]

A place Brom Bones
had visited...

...the night before.

- Ah!
[panting]

Oh! Oh, oh!

[groaning]

[knocking]
- Yoo-hoo!

- I shall not dwell
in this cursed place any longer!
- Mr. Crane? Mr. Crane?

Mr. Crane, what's happened?
You poor, poor man.

Please let me help you.

- Katrina, I'm glad you've come.
It will save me going
to your house to say goodbye.

- Goodbye? But...
but you just got here.

- Uh, I know.

I know. But I can't stay
in this cursed place any longer,
so goodbye!

- But the-the fair's coming up.
- I know!

Have a wonderful time.

- Well, I don't know
how that would be possible
without you there to be with me.

- Katrina, I can't.
I'd love to, really,
but... I can't.

- Well, if you can't...

...you can't.

- That's right. I can't.

- I guess I shan't be going,
either.

- Well... don't miss the fair
on my account.

- Oh, yes,
for the first time in 10 years,
I shall miss the fair.

But don't trouble yourself.

If you can't... you can't.

- Oh. Oof. Wait.

Please don't.

Please don't cry.
I had no idea.

If it means that much to you...
I'd hate to disappoint you.

- You are a gentleman.

- I wouldn't want it
on my conscience.

Will there be strudel?

- Well, the day of the fair
has arrived,

and much to Brom's dismay,
the schoolteacher
was still there.

Now, I know I'm Katrina's uncle
and I love her like a niece...

...but how do you figure a girl
who fights like a wildcat

to get one gent
to come to the fair

only to arrive in the company
of another?

Huh. Women.

Can't live with 'em...
can't live without 'em.

Well, what do I know?
I'm a bachelor. Go.

[horse snorting]

...I knocked at the door
and there was no answer,
and finally when it did open up,

there he was,
thrashing about the classroom,

knocking over books and benches
with the chair that was stuck
to the seat of his pants.

[guffawing]
I felt so sorry for him.

The poor man,
he looked so scared,

just like a cute, little,
helpless puppy.

- Hey, well,
I can look helpless too,
you know.

- I wonder if I put enough sugar
in these turnovers.

I hope I'll win.
I spent just hours.

- Oh, you'll win? What about me?
I have a race to win.

And I should be wearing
your kerchief so everybody knows
I'm winning it for you.

- Oh, what do you need
my kerchief for?

Isn't it enough
that I came with you,
Brom Bones?

[background chatter]
Mr. Crane!

- Oh, one more time!
- Hello.
[exclamations and laughter]

- Oh!

Oh, I so love
a festive atmosphere.

- Mm-mm! Me too.
- The pumpkins.

- Mm-hmm.
- It is fun, isn't it,
Mr. Crane?

[muffled]: A lot of fun.
- Mr. Crane, you must tell me
what you think of this strudel.

- Oh, Mother, be careful. Here.
He's getting it on his jacket.

- Oh, good. Delicious.
- Here's my kerchief.
- Gentlemen!

Bring your horses
to the starting line.

- Katrina,
I've come for your kerchief.
- Bless you.

- I'll win without it.
- Oh, but, Brom, I was--
- Ah.

[laughter]
- Good luck!
[background chatter]

- Now listen up, lads.
We wouldn't want to lose anyone
out there.

From here,
you go past Massacre Ridge,

then about 50 legs till you get
to vampire Butte.

Now, this next
is very important.

Take a left.

You got that?

A left!

Now, last year,
some poor soul took a right,

and gave Screaming Bob Gorge
the name it bears today.

So take a left! Remember.

Next,
you go around Hangman Tree,

down through Sleepy Hollow
and back here to the finish.

Same rules as last year.
Whoever finishes first
is the winner.

And no kicking or gouging!

In sight of the ladies.

[coughing]
- Massacre Ridge. Vampire Butte.

- Are you enjoying yourself,
Mr. Crane?

- Oh, yes, dear lady,
I'm having a wonderful time.
Thank you.

- You think this is fun,
wait till you come to my party.

- Oh, really? I'd love to.
When is that?
- Halloween night.

- Hal... Halloween?

[exclamations]
[laughter]

- Go! Go!
[neighing]

[cheering]

- Hmm. Ah.

Well, now, Katrina,
don't get me wrong.

I'd love to attend your party,
really. But Halloween,
I can't. I don't dare.

- Oh,
but who shall I dance with?

- Well, there are many
who'd love to dance with you.

- But none with your grace
or your elegance or the style
to sweep me across the floor.

- I wouldn't want you
to get your feet stepped on.

- Oh, thank you, thank you,
thank you.

For a moment, I didn't think
I had a ghost of a chance.

[Crane chuckling]

- Ghost!

- Poor Brom seems to have been
the only rider without a scarf.

- Well, if poor Brom
would learn how to treat a lady.

- Katrina, dear,
that is the way men are here.

They know no better.

- Well, maybe they should
take some lessons
from the schoolteachers.

- Here they come!
[cheering]

- Oh.
- Alright, you men,
let's split up.

Looks like we gotta name a gorge
after Rudolph.

[murmurings]

- Oh, Brom!
I knew you could do it.
- Uh-huh.

- Well, would the winner
of the race like to escort me
around the fair?

- I gotta rub down Daredevil.

- Brom Bones! You, you...

you farmer!

- The next day,
the farmers congregated
at the usual gathering place

to talk about the fair
and to listen to the latest news

according to the well-read
Mr. Crane.

- Just listen to this.
"The German physician F. J. Galt
says you can tell

how intelligent a man is
by counting the bumps
on his head."

- Crane, I'’d watch Brom Bones
if I were you.

- Hmm? How's that?
- You could suddenly get
very intelligent.

[laughter]
- What a race, what a race!

That's three years running,
Brom.

You and Daredevil
are an unbeatable team.
[laughter]

- Well, the Van Tassels seemed
to leave the fair early, Brom.

- Haven't you heard, lad?
Miss Van Tassel's come up
in the world.

No, she has no time
for a common dirt farmer
like me.

No, she prefers
the more sophisticated,
sensitive... gentleman.

- Well, I never thought
I'd see the day

that Brom Bones
would knuckle under.

[men]: Oh!

[groaning]
- Anyone want to join him? Huh?
[men]: No, no. No, no.

- I have to apologize, lad.

I don't like it
when I get like this.

- Yeah, I don't, either.

- But every time I think
about that overgrown
schoolteacher -

who looks like a mosquito -

and my girl together...

Ah...

What good would it do to...

[grunting]

...tear him in half.

Katrina would only be cross
with me.

Then where would I be, eh?

Put that on my tab.

- What was that about?

- Oh, little Hendrick.
- Hi, Brom.

- Whoa, Daredevil. Whoa.

Can I give you a lift, son?
- Sure!

- What you got there?
- Mr. Crane made it for me.

He says it's absolutely
necessary to put it out
on Halloween night

to keep away evil spirits
and hobgoblins.

- Well, the man's
a jack-of-all-trades, huh?

- You coming
to the Halloween party, Brom?

- I don'’t know, lad.
I don'’t know.

- Mr. Crane is.
He says for Katrina,

he'll even go out on a night
the devil dances with ghosts

and the trees themselves
have evil eyes.

- C'mere, lad.
Where you getting these stories?

- Mr. Crane.

- Mr. Crane, Mr. Crane.

Well, perhaps I should go
to the party to make sure
Mr. Crane makes it, huh?

- Great!

Brom, do you believe in ghosts?

- No, lad.
- Neither do I.

I like Swiss chard.

I like Swiss chard.
I like Swiss chard.

[Doffue]: At last,
the night of the party
had arrived.

Ichabod mustered up his courage,
pocketed all his charms,

and took great pains
to look his best for Katrina.

- What's Halloween anyway?
It's a day
just like any other day.

The sun rises, the sun sets.

The su... sun...

[screaming]
Protect me! Keep me!

Ah... ah... Ah!

Oh! Ah...

[screaming]

[exclaiming]
What am I doing?

What am I doing? Oh...

Katrina would hardly
be impressed by a man
frightened by a hat and a bed,

or an open umbrella.

Ah, pull yourself together.
Relax, relax.

We must weigh the good
against the bad. The bad?

It's Halloween. That's very bad.

The good?

Oh... Katrina.

Katrina...

the party, food.

Katrina, food.

Ah... once again,
good triumphs over evil.

I'm not dreaming.

I shall rescue the fair Katrina
like a knight rides to the aid
of a maiden in distress.

As for the legend
of Sleepy Hollow,

I laugh at you.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

My gallant steed and I
shall ride so fast,

we will appear
like the March wind.

Silly superstition. Ha!

[Doffue]: Well,
what Ichabod doesn't know
shouldn't hurt him.

[snorting]
[plaintive howling]

- Hello.

Yes, you're Gunpowder.
We're going to be just fine.

Yes, you're a good horse.

Okay, I'm going to get up now
very slowly,

and go to the party.

Get you some of Katrina's
butter cookies.

Yes.

[Doffue]: Like noble knight,

Crane was in need
of a noble steed.

And so he borrowed a horse
appropriately named Gunpowder
from farmer Van Ripper.

- Okay. Good to go
down there to the barn.

Come here, boy.

Good.

Good boy. Come here.

[Doffue]: But Sir Ichabod's
equestrian skills

did not quite match
the gallant image
he had of himself.

In truth, the schoolteacher
had been up on a horse

two, maybe three times
in his entire life.

And then, I'm sure,
only by accident.

- Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Come around this way.

That's a good boy.

We'll try another way
to the party.

Okay. Good boy.

Okay, Gunpowder, here we go.

- Hey, Brom. You want to tell
that boring story again?
[laughter]

You having a good time?

- Paper-dolly man.
[laughter]
- Hello!

Oh, Mr. Crane!

- My brother's house was filled
with friends and neighbours.

He was a very popular man
as well as
a very successful one.

Make no mistake.
His visible wealth was not lost
on the schoolteacher.

- Thank you. Wonderful party.
- Would you like a cigar?

- I'd love one.
Thank you so much.

- Here you go.
- Oh, may I have a light?
- Sure.

- Mrs. Van Tassel
is looking lovely, by the way.
Lovely, lovely, lovely.

- Lovely meeting you.

- Wonderful cigar.
Wonderful party.

Oh, hello, hello!
Thank you so much. Wonderful.
How'd you do?

[coughing]
Excellent bouquet.
Wonderful, wonderful.

[laughing]
Hello! Hello. How've you been?

[indistinct chatter]

[Doffue]: The women
on the arms of their men

were only slightly less cordial
to him than usual.

The men were cold.

Which was probably lost
on Crane,

his mind reeling
from all the sumptuous,
elegant, delicious...

- Oh, to live in this house,
to live in this house
with Katrina.

[chuckling]
Yes.

There he is watching me,
always watching me.

What is he anyway?
Nothing more than a farmer.
[chuckling]

Mm, Katrina.

Look at that dress.

Think of the cost of it.
Whoo!

- Everyone,
it's time for a dance!
Come on.

- Now or never.

Katrina, may I have
the pleasure of this dance?

- It must've taken him
real courage,
but he was a driven man.

[lively fiddle music]

They danced and danced.

Ichabod Crane
was in his element.

The centre of attention,
with a lovely,

young, rich dancing partner.

- Go after her, Brom.

- No, I'm just a country clod
beside the dancing master.

- Ah, go after her.

- Why not?
We'll find out what's what
once and for all.

Pardon me, Mr. Crane.

- I was finished dancing anyway.

- I'm so darned jealous
of Ichabod Crane!
- Jealous?

I don't blame you.
He's a wonderful dancer.

- Oh, really?

Watch this.

- Pardon me, Mr. Bones.

- I was... done dancing anyway.

[Doffue]:
Unlike the well-travelled
schoolteacher,

Brom Bones did not know much
about dancing and party manners.

The night was still young,
and Brom,
smitten with love and jealousy,

did know how to use the party
to his best
and Crane's worst advantage.

- There was a highwayman!
Ten men had trapped him
in the woods.

- Eleven o'clock Halloween eve,
by tradition, was story time.

When it got around to Brom,
he told his version
of the legend, which all knew,

but he added some nice touches
of his own.

- In a little clearing,
they made a fighting circle.

This time, he would not escape.

You could hear
the clash of steel for miles!
[making clashing sounds]

[exclamations]
But in the worst part
of the battle,

the moon went behind a cloud.

[exclamations]
It was black as pitch!

The man didn't see the sword
that killed him.

His head dropped
from between his shoulders.
[exclamations]

The horse ran!
[neighing]

And bolted!
[whipping sound]

[exclamations]
Carrying the body with him.

- Oh!
- They never found him.

[gasps]

But on Halloween...

he comes riding back...

...holding his mouldering head

under his arm.

Looking for a fresh one...
that he can snatch!

[gasps]

And put on his own shoulders.

[exclamations]

- Grizzly. But effective,
I think.

- Good night!
- Good night.

- Lovely party.
- Happy Halloween.

Oh, Mr. Crane,
have you seen Brom?

- Katrina, may I speak to you
for a moment?

I have something important
to say to you,
something in my heart I feel--

- Oh, Ichabod.

It was so nice of you to stay
to say good-night to me.

Thank you for coming.

Good night.

- Uh, no, I... Uh...

Oh, dear.

Good night.

[Doffue]: Well,
Ichabod never made his point
with Katrina,

but he figured
there was always tomorrow.

[horse snorting]
- Come on, Gunpowder.
Come on, brave steed.

Ah. For once in your life,
be courageous.

Courage, Crane, courage.

Devil with courage.

[groaning]

[owl hooting]
What's that sound?
Heard it once,

heard it before!
[owl hooting]

Who's that in the tree?
You can't hurt me. No.

I have lizard wine.
Guaranteed repellent!

[laughing]
[sighing]

Besides, Doffue said...
yes, it's only a silly legend.

Ah...
[owl hooting]

Okay, Gunpowder. Good boy.

Do what you're doing,
only faster.

Ugh.
[distant neighing]

What is that sound?

You know what that is?
That's another horsey.

Yes, another horsey that thinks
he's fast like you,
but he's not.

I can tell by looking at you
that you're a thoroughbred.

We know how important
good breeding can be.

[groaning]
Hear that? Here he comes.

You're not gonna let him
catch you, are you?
No, you can't! No.

Go, Gunpowder! Go!

Show him what you're made of!
Go, Gunpowder! Go!

[screaming]
[neighing]

Ah! Keep me!

Ah! Protect me! Keep me!

[screaming]

Oh, God! Help me!

Somebody help me!

Someone help me!!
[sobbing]

Go faster!
You hear me, you nag?!
Go faster!

Go! Go, you stupid horse!

Go faster!

Faster, faster, faster!

[sobbing]

Faster, faster!
[exclaiming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Come on! Go! Go faster! Faster!

[screaming]

[exclaiming]

[screaming]

Protect me! Keep me!

[screaming]

Keep me! Oh, keep me!

[shouting and screaming]

[laughter]

- Ah, his feet are flailing
all over the saddle,

when suddenly the dumb beast
veers off the road
and runs into the woods!

[laughter]

- Oh, tell us, Brom.

Are you and Katrina planning
on inviting Crane
to the wedding?

- Only if his horse
stops long enough for him
to receive an invitation.

[boisterous laughter]

- Ah, yes.

That, my dear friends,
was Halloween in Sleepy Hollow.

Not your run-of-the-mill
observance,
you must admit,

but then...

not many regions
have a real live ghost
riding the hills.

Oh, Doffue, Doffue.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

You're telling
these nice people...

Did I say "real"?

You must forgive me.

But when you've lived
with a legend
as long as we have,

well... you understand.

As for the poor schoolteacher,
who knows?

Staying one step ahead
of the devil, I suspect.

Brom Bones?

Well, I'd like to say
he lived happily ever after.
And why not?

He had his lady, a fast horse,
his great strength.

I'd like to say that.

Except... for this night.

The night after Halloween.

The night...

Brom Bones...

came to face to face...

with the legend
of Sleepy Hollow!

[neighing]

[maniacal laughter]

[maniacal laughter]

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