Tall Tales & Legends (1985–1988): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Legend of Sleepy Hollow - full transcript
A retell of Washington Irving's 1820 Halloween novel.
[rhythmic music]
- Ooh. Trying to stay fit,
healthy, and most of all young,
is a national obsession.
It seems the only people
not crazed
about staying young
are the young.
This seems pretty silly
to you kids,
but once you grow up,
you'll want to stay young too.
It's been going on
for centuries.
As a matter of fact,
over 400 years ago,
a famous explorer went
searching for eternal youth
and ended up discovering
a part of America.
His name was Ponce de Leon
and his quest
is tonight's tale:
The Search for the Fountain
of Youth.
[sighing]
I wish I could find it.
[rhythmic music]
- I'm sweating like a pig,
Herb.
Are you sweating
like a pig?
- I'm sweating like a pig,
George!
[laughing]
- Why do we do it, Herb?
Why do we torture
ourselves so?
- Because we want
to stay young, George,
that's why!
[laughing]
- Ah, yes.
I remember...
Youth!
- Hey, did you happen to know
that this health club
is in the same vicinity
where Ponce de Leon
was looking for the
Fountain of Youth?
Kind of ironic, isn't it?
- Ironic.
Ponce de Leon...
Wasn't he the guy
who married Pocahontas?
- Nah, another guy.
No, Ponce was
a Spanish explorer.
Junior told me.
You know Junior, a nice guy.
- Uh-huh.
- Eh!
He told me the whole story
about Ponce de Leon
and his search for
the Fountain of Youth.
I should tell you
the story sometime.
- Tell me now!
It'll help take my mind
off the fact
that I'm sweating like a pig.
- All right.
It all started in 1513,
when Ponce was the governor
of Puerto Rico.
Anyway, he was hosting
a big party
for all his explorer buddies.
By coincidence,
it just happened to be
his 45th birthday.
But Ponce didn't want
anybody to know.
You see, Ponce had always
been very vain.
And he hated the fact
that he was getting older.
- Well, Julio...
How do I look?
- You're the picture
of youth.
- Now, you're not just saying
that because you're my slave?
- Oh, no. I can honestly say,
you don't look
a day over... 39.
- 39?!
- Did I say 39?
I meant 29, is what I meant.
- Look... No receding hairline.
No wrinkles.
And did you know, I can still
wear the same pantaloons
I wore as a teenager?
- I know, at the last
slave meeting,
we were discussing
that very point.
- What? You didn't tell anyone
that it was my birthday?
- Oh no, jefe! What,
do I have a death wish?
- Good, good man.
You know how I cannot tolerate
as much as a thought
about a birthday party.
- Everyone knows how intolerable
you are, jefe.
- Why do you keep
calling me a "jefa"?
- Not "jefa", jefe.
- Jefe?
- It means chief,
you know, boss, the big cheese.
- Well, I, uh...
I think the big cheese
is now ready
to greet his guests.
Wait a minute,
where are my guests?
Where are the lights?
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ Which nobody can deny
[cheering]
- Happy birthday, Dad!
- We love you, Father.
- Oh, thank you.
Oh, it's a...
It's a wonderful cake.
[loud blowing]
[light clapping]
Senor Cortez.
- Sí.
- Senor DeSoto.
And Senor Balboa.
Oh, my good friends.
Thank you for this...
wonderful surprise.
- You're the best, Ponce.
- You're the greatest!
- You're the oldest.
- Who said that?
- I'm so glad you like
the cake, Ponce.
- It's lovely!
Isn't she thoughtful?
My better half. Oh!
What would I do
without her?
Don't you ever,
ever do this to me again.
- Hey, Ponce,
you old bearded goat,
how does it feel to be
the last of the old-timers, uh?
- Well, I'm not exactly
an old-timer, Balboa.
I mean, I'm not as old as,
uh, what's his name?
Columbus.
- Hey, Ponce,
don't move when you talk,
I can't hear you when
your bones creak.
[laughter]
- And tell us, Ponce,
do you miss the plundering
and the pillaging?
- Yeah, man,
do you miss the smell
of burning huts
in the morning?
- Well, actually,
I don't miss the smell.
- I guess you have to be
younger to appreciate it.
[laughter]
- But I can still
plunder and pillage
with the best of you.
I mean, what good
is sitting alone in my room?
On the road again,
I just can't wait to get
on the road again!
Full of excitement
and purpose and youth!
Ah... youth.
When did I lose my youth?
[Herb]: Among other discoveries
Ponce was the first
to discover midlife crisis.
[trumpet playing]
- Ladies and gentlemen,
presenting Lucy the pirate!
[rhythmic music]
And her escort,
yours truly,
Rudolpho Gaspacho the Third.
- What are you doing here,
Lucy?
You know pirates
aren't allowed.
- I know, I had to kill
a couple of guys to get in.
You, uh...
remember Rudolpho, of course.
- Ah yes, of course.
Glad to see you're still
slithering about.
- Yes, fortune,
it has been very,
very good to me.
My darling Lucy.
[kissing loudly]
- Rudolpho!
- Yes?
- Beat it.
- Of course, my cookie.
- He's a worm, but he adores me.
- Fortunately, I don't share
his sentiments.
[laughing]
- Oh, Ponce!
Ponce, it's what I've always
liked about you.
You've never hidden the fact
that you hate my guts.
- What do you want?
- Want?
Ponce, I came here to give you
the best birthday present
you'll ever get.
- It is not my birthday.
No matter what they say,
it's not my birthday!
- Alright, alright,
but if it were your birthday,
I have something great
to give you.
Ponce, how would you like
to prove to all
these other barbarians
that you're still
the greatest explorer alive?
- I'm listening.
- How would you like
to discover...
the Fountain of Youth?
- Fountain of Tooth?
What do I need
with a fountain full of teeth?
- Not tooth, youth.
The Fountain of Youth.
You take one bath
in its magical waters
and you stay young forever,
you never grow old.
- You never grow old?
No more disgusting
birthday parties,
no more cakes or candles
or wrinkles or bunions,
or gasping lungs
or blurry night time visions.
- I thought it might
appeal to you.
[chuckling]
- This isn't another
of your tall tales, is it?
- No. A witch in Bimini
told me all about it,
right before I slit
her throat, of course.
- But what's in this for you?
- Nothing.
Nothing.
Just a humble present
from a little old pirate,
to a big old explorer.
- Well, Lucy, maybe...
maybe I've been wrong about you.
Thank you.
And now, if you'll excuse me.
Gentlemen!
Gentlemen,
and I use the term loosely,
I have an announcement to make.
Come here, children,
gather around.
- But from across the room,
I saw the way
you were looking at him.
- If you spy on me again,
I'll cut your eyes out.
- I'm sorry, my little taco,
but I love you.
- Oh, just my luck,
I had to fall for a guy
whose brain is smaller
than his... moustache.
- Oh, thank you.
- Rudolpho, my love,
the reason I had
to kiss up to Ponce
was so he wouldn't suspect
my ulterior motive.
- Ah-ha! A brilliant plan,
my kumquat.
What's an ulterior motive?
- Rudolpho!
He's an explorer, it's his job
and he's the best.
I'm just a pirate.
I'm good at killing,
maiming,
and double-crossing.
But I'm no good
at exploring.
So he'll find
the Fountain of Youth,
we will follow and
do the double-crossing.
- Oh, you're beautiful
when you're devious,
my little castanet.
- I will find the Fountain
of Youth and that's final!
I'm sorry, it's just...
something I have to do.
[Herb]: Once again,
old Ponce had to say goodbye
to his family.
It was hard, he was
a true-blue family man,
but hey, when you've gotta go,
you've gotta go.
- Father, you've been gone
almost my whole life.
And now, you're going to miss
the birth of your grandchild.
Why can't you be here
when it counts?
- Children,
your father is an explorer,
that's what he does.
It's very difficult
to be a good explorer
and just stay home.
You're crazy, Ponce de Leon,
but I love you.
Just remember,
if you don't come back alive,
I'm gonna kill you.
- Oh.
- Jefe, uh...
Do I have to go?
- Of course you have to go,
Julio, you're my slave.
- Well, frankly,
I hate being a slave.
Won't you be a nice guy
and set me free, huh?
- Shut up, Julio!
- Of course, jefe.
It was just a suggestion,
you know how I love
being your slave.
[sobbing]
[Herb]: And so, Ponce set out
to find the Fountain of Youth.
A lone ship on
the Caribbean sea.
Or so we thought.
He sailed north until,
on Easter Sunday,
he bumped smack
into a brand new land.
With flag in hand,
Ponce claimed the new land
for Spain and its king.
One problem:
what to name the place?
- Since today is Easter,
I hereby proclaim that this
new land shall be called...
Easter Island.
- Uh, jefe?
- Hm?
- I think that's taken.
- Very well, then...
Beach Land!
Poncylvania.
Poncecola.
[sigh]
- Jefe, did, uh...
Did you happen to notice
all the beautiful flowers here?
[chuckling]
- Yes, of course!
Flowerland.
- Sounds a bit sissy, sir.
May I suggest...
Florida?
- Six of one,
half a dozen of the other,
very well,
I name this land...
Florida.
- Florida, men.
[clapping]
- Act glad to see them.
- Savages, how delightful.
Julio, what are they smiling at?
Do I look funny?
Is there food in my beard?
[Herb]: Like most explorers,
Ponce gave the Indians gifts
to win their friendship.
And, since it was Easter,
Ponce gave them... Easter eggs.
- Okay, fellas,
just like I taught you.
Keep your eye on your eggs.
Ready? Steady? Go!
Come on, they're running, oh!
You're gonna drop your egg.
- I love this chocolate bunny.
- I'm the best egg hunter,
chief.
- Yes, Little Walrus.
You are now the Egg Man,
"Koo-Koo, kachoo."
Now, what is it
that you want, Blondie?
- Well, chief,
I have some good news
and some bad news.
Now, the good news is that,
in memory of you,
I'm going to name this place...
Chief Orlando.
- What do you mean,
"in memory of"?
- That's the bad news.
You see, I'm afraid
I'm going to have
to conquer you and your people,
throw you in chains and ship you
back to Spain as slaves.
Nothing personal.
- You realize we will have
to defend ourselves
and wipe you and your men
off the face of the earth?
Oh, nothing personal.
- Chief, you have spirit!
I like that.
It reminds me of me,
when I was young.
- Yes!
I am feisty, for 86 summers.
- But you don't look
a summer over 18!
Well, how do you keep
your boyish good looks?
- Eat right,
get plenty of sleep,
stay out of sun.
- That's it?
- That's it.
Oh, did I mention I bathe
in the Fountain of Youth?
- The Fountain of Youth?
But that is the purpose
of my journey here.
Oh, you have to tell me
where to find it.
- No, I don't.
- Look, uh...
I'll make you a deal.
You show me how to find
the Fountain of Youth,
and I will spare you
and your people.
- Hmm...
An interesting offer, but...
I don't know.
- Look, I'll show you
how to make...
Mmm...
...chocolate bunnies.
- It's a deal.
First, you must go find
the Mysterious Stranger
who lives on top
of huge tree.
There, you'll be given
further instructions.
Now, we'll get
to the huge tree.
[gentle music]
[Herb]: So, Ponce and Julio
headed out
to find the Mysterious
widow Stranger.
Now, only two of his men
were brave enough or...
[chuckling]
dumb enough...
to follow him on his quest.
But Ponce didn't care.
Nothing and nobody
could stop him now.
- Uh, jefe?
[clearing throat]
Excuse me, sir,
I've been thinking.
- I'm sorry, I don't think
that's allowed.
- Well, frankly,
this whole business of searching
for the Fountain of Youth...
It's a bit... silly.
- Silly?
Listen, Julio, I don't think
you quite understand
our relationship.
You see, I am the master,
you are the slave.
That means you are not
permitted to think
or to have opinions of any kind.
That's because I'm the boss
or head honcho,
and you are the peon.
Head honcho, peon.
Comprende?
- I think so, jefe.
- Adelante!
- Adelante.
- Look, Julio,
forget that you are a peon
and tell me, honestly,
as a friend,
do you think
I'm just an old fool?
- I don't think
you're old, sir.
- You know something, Julio...
[animals screaming]
No matter how old I get,
I still think of myself
as a teenager.
It's like my body
is climbing into the coffin,
but my mind is climbing
out of the cradle.
Do you know what I mean?
- I think so, jefe.
- Really?
- It's normal.
- Normal?
- Yes.
You know,
Plato in the 4th century
had exactly
the same problem.
- I see the way
you're looking at him.
- I'm not looking at him,
I'm observing.
- Ah, you're beautiful
when you're observing,
my little quesadilla.
[speaking Spanish]
[intriguing music]
- Ah, here we are.
The Mysterious Stranger.
[knocking]
[birds cawing]
Oh, I guess no one's at home.
- Who is it?
- Oh! It is I,
Ponce de Leon, famous explorer
and representative of
His Majesty the King of Spain.
- Good for you.
- Can I...
come up?
- Don't be ridiculous,
come on up.
[moaning]
I'm... I'm a little
afraid of heights.
- I'm a little afraid of lows.
I hate feeling depressed,
this is why I live
high up here.
Now, what do you want?
- Please, how do I get
to the Fountain of Youth?
- Why didn't you say so?
You need the map
to the Fountain of Youth.
I'll be right back.
- Okay, guys, I don't need
to remind you,
you are in the Armada now,
and it's not just a job,
it's an adventure.
Now, I don't know
where the jefe is,
but until he returns, remember,
I'm the honcho,
you're the peon.
Honcho, peon.
Honcho, peon.
Never peon, honcho.
- Found it.
- Oh, thank you!
- Let me explain to you first.
This is a very dangerous voyage.
There are three dangerous zones.
The first one
is a swamp of beasts
that time forgot.
- Beasts?
- Big, mean beasts.
Second is the land of people
who no longer live,
also known
as the Indian graveyard.
- I hate graveyards.
- They hate you too.
The third one is the
ground that swallows.
- Look, isn't there
some kind of... shortcut?
- Many have tried,
none have survived,
that's why you have
to bring proof
that you visited
those three zones.
It's the only way
to the Fountain of Youth.
- Well, uh...
If that's the only way.
- For the love of peace!
I just told you so.
Ponce, you drive me crazy.
If you forgive me,
your time is up.
[rhythmic music]
[paper rustling]
- Thank you.
Julio! Look!
Look, I've got the map.
- Oh, whoopee, sir.
- No, no, no,
it really is the map.
Look, it's a reality.
[together]: The map!
- So, come on, men,
let's hear it. Hip, hip!
You fellas are supposed
to say, "Hurray!"
So, let's try it again.
Hip, hip!
Julio, why is it
that my men don't talk?
- Well,
they never learned, jefe.
- They never learned
how to talk?
- No, jefe,
before we left,
I lied to you.
Remember when
I told you that your men
weren't too bright?
The truth is they're stupid.
And they make cows
look brilliant.
- Men, is this true?
[together]: Yeah...
- Oh, wonderful.
My men are dumber than cows.
Nonetheless...
[singing]: We're all marching
to the Fountain of Youth,
we'll be there soon
and that's the truth!
- Giddy-up!
Ah! Let's go.
- Livestock for men.
We could be
in real trouble here.
[chuckling]
- You're beautiful
when you're in trouble,
my little enchilada.
[slurping]
- Oh, stop slobbering
all over me.
[slurping]
Oh...
[chuckling]
[Herb]: So, after travelling
for a few days longer,
Ponce and his men finally
came to the first zone.
- Well, according to this map,
we should be in the vicinity
of the beasts that
time forgot, jefe.
- I don't see any beasts.
- Let's forget it.
- No, no, no.
We'll just cross over here,
on these stepping stones.
[dramatic music]
[shouting]
Oh, my God!
My God! They're gigantic
water dinosaurs!
They are beasts!
- And their jaws are like
the gates of Hell!
- Yes, gates... Gators!
We'll call
these creatures "gators".
- They're so ugly.
- Then, we'll call them
"ugly gators".
- Never mind what
we're gonna call them,
how are we gonna get
across, boss?
- Ah... Me, Tarzan.
You, Julio.
- You who?
- Woo-hoo!
[indistinct shouting]
[screaming]
- This is your last chance.
[screaming]
[grunting]
Don't give up, boss!
Fight them!
- This is terrible,
the ugler gator has his leg.
- I'll save him,
the map is in his boots!
- Lucy!
What are you doing here?
- Oh, a vacation.
Rudolpho and I just needed
to get away together.
Our relationship
was getting a little routine,
you know how it is.
[groans]
- Boy, am I ever glad
we made it!
- Ever glad?!
That's what we'll call this
place, the "Everglads"!
- Oh... How about "Everglades"?
- Oh, close enough.
Ow!
- Sir!
Oh, look,
an ugly gator's tooth.
[sighing]
- Not tooth...
Proof... that I have been here!
- Yeah, what didn't I think
of that?
[snoring]
[Herb]: That night,
Ponce stood watch over
his sleeping men,
the map and Lucy,
who had her eye
on the map as well.
[moaning]
[paper rustling]
[moaning]
- I can't sleep.
- Neither can I.
Oh... I'm on watch.
- I hope you're not too upset
Randolph and I joined your
party.
- Well, you're here. There's...
There's not much I can do
about it.
- Must be awfully lonely out
here all by yourself.
- Well, it's all part
of camping out.
- Don't you miss female
companionship?
- Lucy, when you're an explorer,
your companions are excitement,
adventure and exhilaration!
Going where no one has gone
before.
The thrill of victory,
the agony of your feet.
Besides, I'm a happily married
man with a family,
so quit feeling my boot.
- Oh, but I'm a woman with
needs.
- Yes, I've been thinking about
your needs, Lucy.
- You have?
- Yes.
A woman doesn't need to be here.
It's too risky, too dangerous.
And more over,
it is too embarrassing
for a great explorer like me
to be seen travelling
with a woman in the ranks.
- The ranks! The ranks!
Take a look at your ranks.
Two turnip heads, a silly slave,
Rudolpho the worthless and me!
Face it, Ponce,
I'm not just a woman.
I'm the best man you've got.
- Yes, but still, I--
- Oh, just because I'm a pirate,
everyone assumes I'm dirt!
- But Lucy, you are dirt!
- No, I'm not.
I'm just a woman trying to make
it in a pirate's world.
Oh, sure, I admit I'm greedy.
I want to take the water from
the Fountain of Youth
and put it in tiny little
bottles with my picture
on a label
and sell it for exorbitant
prices
so I can stay young and
filthy rich forever.
Is that so wrong?
- Yes, I think it is.
- Oh...
- I too want to stay young
forever.
But more than that, I want
to discover the greatest thing
that's ever been discovered!
And not just for myself,
but for mankind!
Oh, just think of it.
No more aging or dying.
Eternal youth for each and every
person on earth.
- Yeah, that's great.
But in the meantime,
this pirate wants to get rich.
- Like I said, Lucy,
you are dirt.
[dramatic music]
[birds chirping]
[Herb]: And so, Ponce continued
to cut a path through Florida,
followed by loyal Julio,
the despicable Lucy,
and Rudolpho,
and of course,
the cows.
[chuckling]
And like all good explorers,
Ponce discovered a lot of
famous places along the way,
like Miami Beach,
Fort Lauderdale...
[indistinct chatter]
Cypress Gardens.
And Cape Canaveral.
[chuckling]
But in spite of finding
all these places and more,
the Fountain of Youth
was the only discovery Ponce
cared about.
So, it was on to the next zone:
the land of people
who no longer live.
A pretty creepy place.
- This is it, jefe.
The Indian graveyard.
- Yes, it is.
Well, I hope there are
no ghosts.
- You're gonna need some proof
that you were here.
May I suggest that you give
one of the rib bones from
the mummies?
- Somebody's bone?
- Sure! They won't mind,
they're dead, see.
- Ponce, you're wasting time.
Let's get this over with.
- Well, look, Lucy,
the fog's rolling in,
I don't work well in fog.
- Scared?
[chuckling]
- The great Ponce de Leon
scared?
[laughing]
[thunder crashing]
[gasping]
Oh, darn mosquitos.
- Ponce, if you're going to act
like a baby,
you can wait here. I'll do it.
- No.
- Yes.
If you're too scared,
let Lucy. She will do it.
- Hey, he not too scared!
- Yes, he is.
- No, he's not!
- I am not scared!
In fact, I can hardly wait
to get over there
and start ravaging through
that graveyard,
so let's get on with it.
Shall we, Julio?
- Me?
- Yes.
It will be me and Julio down
by the graveyard.
[thunder crashing]
- He is scared.
[chuckling]
[thunder crashing]
[breathing heavily]
- I can't do it.
Look, put me down. Down!
Julio, these people are dead up
here.
- Of course, jefe,
that's why it's a graveyard.
- Staring at this mummy, it...
it's like I'm staring at me.
My future...
[thunder crashing]
Everybody's future.
This is what we all have to look
forward to.
- It couldn't be that bad.
Have you noticed that
all mummies look so comfy
and peaceful?
[groaning]
[screaming]
[dramatic music]
[screaming]
- Oh... I, I...
I can't get it.
I can't get the rib.
- Is this the bone you're
looking for?
In your case,
it should've been a chicken
bone.
- Oh...
[laughing]
- Well, I wouldn't laugh yet
if I were you.
Ponce, in case you haven't
noticed, I've tied you to your
faithful servant, Julio.
I didn't want you to be lonely
when I leave you here to rot
and die.
- How very thoughtful.
- You see, Ponce, now that I
have the map,
I have no further
need for you.
- Enrique, Alfredo, earn
your food, overpower them and
save us!
- Sorry, Ponce.
The potato heads are with me.
- Lucy, even you can't be this
evil.
- You underestimate me, Ponce!
Oh, I realize I could slit your
throat and let you die quickly,
but that would be too humane.
No, I think I'll just leave you
here to die a slow and painful
death,
your carcasses slowly
decomposing,
the vultures picking away at
your helpless bodies.
[laughing]
- You're all heart, Lucy.
- Oh, what can I say,
I'm a pirate.
Any last words?
- Yes.
You stink, slime bag!
- I love you too, Ponce.
[rhythmic music]
- What are we gonna do, now?
- Don't worry, Julio.
Just a temporary setback,
that's all.
Don't forget, it's not over till
it's over.
- Trust me, it's over.
[thunder crashing]
[grunting]
I hate it when that happens.
- No.
No, Julio.
That is what I call luck.
- Darn lucky, jefe.
- Now, hurry,
and keep your eyes peeled.
Who knows what dastardly trick
Lucy might get up to next!
Hurry!
[Herb]: Well, Ponce and Julio's
luck continued.
Even without a map, they
managed to discover the third
and final zone.
[bubbles popping]
- Let me see.
- This is it,
the ground that swallows.
- Well, it isn't ground
and it isn't water.
It's... disgusting.
- I don't understand.
They're supposed to be slowly
rotting to death.
Is Ponce indestructible,
or what?
- You're beautiful when you're
puzzled, my little tostada.
- I think that grease
on your hair is beginning
to seep through.
- Oh, thank you.
- It's no bother.
We'll just cross over here
on this log.
- Hey, good idea. After you.
- No, after you.
- Oh, I insist,
Your Explorership, after you.
- No, no, no. After you.
Head honcho, remember?
- Oh, yeah.
[suspenseful music]
Hey, it's not that hard, boss.
It's easy, come on.
Take it easy.
Easy! Easy!
Are you okay?
[screaming]
Fast! Grab on to this!
Here, don't panic! Reach it!
[laughing]
- Woo-hoo, bravo!
- Please, try!
Grab it! Grab it!
- Just run! It just swallows!
It doesn't chew!
- You see it, grab it, please!
Jefe! Jefe!
- Oh, do you see what I see?
Yes, my men!
And that's the end of Ponce
de Leon.
[laughing]
- You killed him.
- Yes. Finally.
And now, the map says
the Fountain of Youth is at
the foot of the rainbow.
And wouldn't you know it,
there's a rainbow!
Oh, Julio, I'm feeling
magnanimous!
So I'm inviting you to join us
and share in my glory.
- Lucy, you're scum.
You've just killed the world's
greatest explorer
and a close personal friend
of mine.
- Julio, for heaven's sake,
you're his slave.
- I know.
But I liked him.
I really liked him.
And I'd rather die than follow
you.
- Well, if you must.
[Herb]: Little did Julio and
Lucy know,
Ponce had ended into a whole
new world.
An underground wonderland
complete with not one,
but two great-looking
hostesses.
[laughing]
- This is really a most pleasant
surprise.
[sighing]
- Can't you see that I'm doing
something totally unimportant?
- Aren't you the same person
I met in the treehouse?
- Of course not.
I'm never the same.
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, I'm positive you are.
- Off with this hat.
Good. Now, where were we?
- Good question.
- Wait a minute,
aren't you the man
who came to see me
in my treehouse?
- Yes, that's what I've been
trying to tell--
- Why didn't you tell me so?
Congratulations!
You have made it!
He has made it, ladies.
[applauding]
Congratulations.
Nobody ever made it here before.
Most of them just cross over
that quicksand
on that old tree trunk.
You were brave enough to jump
right in.
- I was?
Oh, of course, I...
I knew I was supposed to jump
right in.
- Do you have proof
that you passed by those two
dangerous zones?
- Yes indeed.
There.
One ugly gator's tooth
and one mummy's bone.
- Good.
These are very, very important.
[sighing]
- Now, where do I find
the Fountain of Youth?
[sighing]
- Oh, yes.
That old fountain.
Don't you realize
that people who go after
ridiculous things
end up being ridiculous
themselves?
- Well, I don't think my quest
is ridiculous.
In fact, I think it's rather
noble.
The greatest curse of life
is... growing old.
Your body gets flabby,
your chins multiply and your
brain turns to porridge.
And...
And what's your reward
for surviving all this?
You die. Dead.
And that to me
is ridiculous.
- Fine.
You might be interested
in seeing this.
[mysterious music]
- Ah...
Is that my...
- Grandson.
Congratulations.
- Oh...
[chuckling]
- If only your father
could see this.
- But I can! I can see you!
[Mysterious Stranger]:
This too is your grandson.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, grandpa.
- To good health!
Oh, wonderful!
Thanks to the Fountain of Youth,
I'll always be young enough
to enjoy him.
[snaps fingers]
Who's this?
- This too is your grandson.
Think carefully.
Is this the life
you want to lead?
[sighing]
Go home to your family,
my friend.
Give up that silly quest.
Can't you see that by
searching for youth
you are
missing on life?
[crying]
- Oh, no.
[sighing]
I'm sorry, but I'm an explorer.
And after all I've been through,
I simply can't quit now.
- If you insist.
At the end of a rainbow,
you see,
there are two fountains.
The first looks very beautiful
and inviting.
Ignore this fountain,
for it is a trap.
It is in fact far more
horrifying
than anything you have
experienced thus far.
It's called the Fountain
of Truth.
And that's no lie.
- And where do I find the real
fountain?
- A little further on,
you'll find a very plain,
simple fountain.
This is the true
Fountain of Youth.
- Well...
Thanks for the warning.
- Now go on,
get out of here.
I've got very unimportant
things to do.
- Yes, well...
Thank you, madam, uh...
Doctor...
What do I call you?
- Don't call me. I call you.
[mysterious music]
[sighing]
[rhythmic music]
- This is it!
[gasping]
I found it!
- You clever cookie!
- Oh! I'm rich!
I'm famous!
I'm going to be young forever!
I don't know about you boys,
but I'm taking a bath.
- Lucy, stop!
Stay away from that fountain!
- Ah, well if it isn't the head
honcho, Ponce de Leon.
Unfortunately,
you're just a little too late.
You see, I've already discovered
the Fountain of Youth,
which means it's all mine.
- But that isn't the Fountain
of Youth.
That is the Fountain of Truth!
[laughing]
[suspenseful music]
[screaming]
- Rudolpho...
[screaming]
Rudolpho!
[whimpering]
[grunting]
[screaming]
- Lucy?
- But jefe,
how did you know?
- The Mysterious Stranger
told me.
Oh... Poor Lucy.
I tried to warn her.
- Okay, so where's the real
Fountain of Youth?
- Just a little further on.
- Lucy?
I'm here.
Lucy?
[triumphant music]
- Ah-ha!
There it is.
The Fountain of Youth!
- Congratulations, jefe.
You found it!
- Yes, uh... This is it.
- Is anything wrong?
- No, no. Why?
- Oh, it's just that after
all that we've been through,
I just thought you'd be a little
more excited.
- Yes, I know. It's just that...
[chuckling]
Well, now, we're finally here,
I...
I...
- Jefe, did the Mysterious
Stranger say anything else?
- Oh, yes!
I'm a grandfather.
- No!
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- He's a grandfather.
Congratulations.
[sighing, clearing throat]
- Let's get this over with.
- You know, I wouldn't
do that, sir.
- Well, yes, that's why
I'm the honcho and you're
the peon, Julio.
Then again,
I don't want to end up
like one of those ugly gators,
a prehistoric relic that will
never change.
And remember that Indian
graveyard?
- Oh, si, jefe. Yes.
- Well...
If I was to stay young forever,
I would have to watch
all my loved ones and friends...
die.
[laughing]
You know something, Julio?
The Mysterious Stranger
was right.
Growing old is a part of life.
And instead of dreading it,
I'm going to enjoy it.
[laughing]
I am going to grow old!
With my wife and my family.
And I'm going to help my little
grandson grow up.
[laughing]
- That's a beautiful idea, boss.
- Oh, Julio, my friend.
Let's go home.
[laughing]
[light music]
[kissing noise]
[speaking in Spanish]
[Julio]: Come on, now.
Come one.
[kissing noise]
Jefe, I forgot my bag at
the fountain.
- Oh, well, go and get it.
And hurry! Hurry!
I haven't a moment to lose.
- Right.
[chuckling]
[sighing]
[whistling]
[screaming]
- That's it? That's the end
of the story?
- Just about.
Yeah, Ponce went back home
and he lived the rest
of his days with his family
and his grandchildren.
He lived to a ripe old age,
and finally died just like
everybody else.
- Well, what about
the Fountain of Youth?
- People are still looking
for it.
What do you think we're doing?
[chuckling]
- That's true.
But what about that guy,
Julio, the guy who fell into
the fountain?
What happened to him?
- I don't know.
Hey, wait a second.
Let's ask the guy who told me
the story.
Hey, Julian!
Hey, que pasa?
How's it going?
- Oh, you know,
always the same.
[laughing]
Subtitling: difuze
- Ooh. Trying to stay fit,
healthy, and most of all young,
is a national obsession.
It seems the only people
not crazed
about staying young
are the young.
This seems pretty silly
to you kids,
but once you grow up,
you'll want to stay young too.
It's been going on
for centuries.
As a matter of fact,
over 400 years ago,
a famous explorer went
searching for eternal youth
and ended up discovering
a part of America.
His name was Ponce de Leon
and his quest
is tonight's tale:
The Search for the Fountain
of Youth.
[sighing]
I wish I could find it.
[rhythmic music]
- I'm sweating like a pig,
Herb.
Are you sweating
like a pig?
- I'm sweating like a pig,
George!
[laughing]
- Why do we do it, Herb?
Why do we torture
ourselves so?
- Because we want
to stay young, George,
that's why!
[laughing]
- Ah, yes.
I remember...
Youth!
- Hey, did you happen to know
that this health club
is in the same vicinity
where Ponce de Leon
was looking for the
Fountain of Youth?
Kind of ironic, isn't it?
- Ironic.
Ponce de Leon...
Wasn't he the guy
who married Pocahontas?
- Nah, another guy.
No, Ponce was
a Spanish explorer.
Junior told me.
You know Junior, a nice guy.
- Uh-huh.
- Eh!
He told me the whole story
about Ponce de Leon
and his search for
the Fountain of Youth.
I should tell you
the story sometime.
- Tell me now!
It'll help take my mind
off the fact
that I'm sweating like a pig.
- All right.
It all started in 1513,
when Ponce was the governor
of Puerto Rico.
Anyway, he was hosting
a big party
for all his explorer buddies.
By coincidence,
it just happened to be
his 45th birthday.
But Ponce didn't want
anybody to know.
You see, Ponce had always
been very vain.
And he hated the fact
that he was getting older.
- Well, Julio...
How do I look?
- You're the picture
of youth.
- Now, you're not just saying
that because you're my slave?
- Oh, no. I can honestly say,
you don't look
a day over... 39.
- 39?!
- Did I say 39?
I meant 29, is what I meant.
- Look... No receding hairline.
No wrinkles.
And did you know, I can still
wear the same pantaloons
I wore as a teenager?
- I know, at the last
slave meeting,
we were discussing
that very point.
- What? You didn't tell anyone
that it was my birthday?
- Oh no, jefe! What,
do I have a death wish?
- Good, good man.
You know how I cannot tolerate
as much as a thought
about a birthday party.
- Everyone knows how intolerable
you are, jefe.
- Why do you keep
calling me a "jefa"?
- Not "jefa", jefe.
- Jefe?
- It means chief,
you know, boss, the big cheese.
- Well, I, uh...
I think the big cheese
is now ready
to greet his guests.
Wait a minute,
where are my guests?
Where are the lights?
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ Which nobody can deny
[cheering]
- Happy birthday, Dad!
- We love you, Father.
- Oh, thank you.
Oh, it's a...
It's a wonderful cake.
[loud blowing]
[light clapping]
Senor Cortez.
- Sí.
- Senor DeSoto.
And Senor Balboa.
Oh, my good friends.
Thank you for this...
wonderful surprise.
- You're the best, Ponce.
- You're the greatest!
- You're the oldest.
- Who said that?
- I'm so glad you like
the cake, Ponce.
- It's lovely!
Isn't she thoughtful?
My better half. Oh!
What would I do
without her?
Don't you ever,
ever do this to me again.
- Hey, Ponce,
you old bearded goat,
how does it feel to be
the last of the old-timers, uh?
- Well, I'm not exactly
an old-timer, Balboa.
I mean, I'm not as old as,
uh, what's his name?
Columbus.
- Hey, Ponce,
don't move when you talk,
I can't hear you when
your bones creak.
[laughter]
- And tell us, Ponce,
do you miss the plundering
and the pillaging?
- Yeah, man,
do you miss the smell
of burning huts
in the morning?
- Well, actually,
I don't miss the smell.
- I guess you have to be
younger to appreciate it.
[laughter]
- But I can still
plunder and pillage
with the best of you.
I mean, what good
is sitting alone in my room?
On the road again,
I just can't wait to get
on the road again!
Full of excitement
and purpose and youth!
Ah... youth.
When did I lose my youth?
[Herb]: Among other discoveries
Ponce was the first
to discover midlife crisis.
[trumpet playing]
- Ladies and gentlemen,
presenting Lucy the pirate!
[rhythmic music]
And her escort,
yours truly,
Rudolpho Gaspacho the Third.
- What are you doing here,
Lucy?
You know pirates
aren't allowed.
- I know, I had to kill
a couple of guys to get in.
You, uh...
remember Rudolpho, of course.
- Ah yes, of course.
Glad to see you're still
slithering about.
- Yes, fortune,
it has been very,
very good to me.
My darling Lucy.
[kissing loudly]
- Rudolpho!
- Yes?
- Beat it.
- Of course, my cookie.
- He's a worm, but he adores me.
- Fortunately, I don't share
his sentiments.
[laughing]
- Oh, Ponce!
Ponce, it's what I've always
liked about you.
You've never hidden the fact
that you hate my guts.
- What do you want?
- Want?
Ponce, I came here to give you
the best birthday present
you'll ever get.
- It is not my birthday.
No matter what they say,
it's not my birthday!
- Alright, alright,
but if it were your birthday,
I have something great
to give you.
Ponce, how would you like
to prove to all
these other barbarians
that you're still
the greatest explorer alive?
- I'm listening.
- How would you like
to discover...
the Fountain of Youth?
- Fountain of Tooth?
What do I need
with a fountain full of teeth?
- Not tooth, youth.
The Fountain of Youth.
You take one bath
in its magical waters
and you stay young forever,
you never grow old.
- You never grow old?
No more disgusting
birthday parties,
no more cakes or candles
or wrinkles or bunions,
or gasping lungs
or blurry night time visions.
- I thought it might
appeal to you.
[chuckling]
- This isn't another
of your tall tales, is it?
- No. A witch in Bimini
told me all about it,
right before I slit
her throat, of course.
- But what's in this for you?
- Nothing.
Nothing.
Just a humble present
from a little old pirate,
to a big old explorer.
- Well, Lucy, maybe...
maybe I've been wrong about you.
Thank you.
And now, if you'll excuse me.
Gentlemen!
Gentlemen,
and I use the term loosely,
I have an announcement to make.
Come here, children,
gather around.
- But from across the room,
I saw the way
you were looking at him.
- If you spy on me again,
I'll cut your eyes out.
- I'm sorry, my little taco,
but I love you.
- Oh, just my luck,
I had to fall for a guy
whose brain is smaller
than his... moustache.
- Oh, thank you.
- Rudolpho, my love,
the reason I had
to kiss up to Ponce
was so he wouldn't suspect
my ulterior motive.
- Ah-ha! A brilliant plan,
my kumquat.
What's an ulterior motive?
- Rudolpho!
He's an explorer, it's his job
and he's the best.
I'm just a pirate.
I'm good at killing,
maiming,
and double-crossing.
But I'm no good
at exploring.
So he'll find
the Fountain of Youth,
we will follow and
do the double-crossing.
- Oh, you're beautiful
when you're devious,
my little castanet.
- I will find the Fountain
of Youth and that's final!
I'm sorry, it's just...
something I have to do.
[Herb]: Once again,
old Ponce had to say goodbye
to his family.
It was hard, he was
a true-blue family man,
but hey, when you've gotta go,
you've gotta go.
- Father, you've been gone
almost my whole life.
And now, you're going to miss
the birth of your grandchild.
Why can't you be here
when it counts?
- Children,
your father is an explorer,
that's what he does.
It's very difficult
to be a good explorer
and just stay home.
You're crazy, Ponce de Leon,
but I love you.
Just remember,
if you don't come back alive,
I'm gonna kill you.
- Oh.
- Jefe, uh...
Do I have to go?
- Of course you have to go,
Julio, you're my slave.
- Well, frankly,
I hate being a slave.
Won't you be a nice guy
and set me free, huh?
- Shut up, Julio!
- Of course, jefe.
It was just a suggestion,
you know how I love
being your slave.
[sobbing]
[Herb]: And so, Ponce set out
to find the Fountain of Youth.
A lone ship on
the Caribbean sea.
Or so we thought.
He sailed north until,
on Easter Sunday,
he bumped smack
into a brand new land.
With flag in hand,
Ponce claimed the new land
for Spain and its king.
One problem:
what to name the place?
- Since today is Easter,
I hereby proclaim that this
new land shall be called...
Easter Island.
- Uh, jefe?
- Hm?
- I think that's taken.
- Very well, then...
Beach Land!
Poncylvania.
Poncecola.
[sigh]
- Jefe, did, uh...
Did you happen to notice
all the beautiful flowers here?
[chuckling]
- Yes, of course!
Flowerland.
- Sounds a bit sissy, sir.
May I suggest...
Florida?
- Six of one,
half a dozen of the other,
very well,
I name this land...
Florida.
- Florida, men.
[clapping]
- Act glad to see them.
- Savages, how delightful.
Julio, what are they smiling at?
Do I look funny?
Is there food in my beard?
[Herb]: Like most explorers,
Ponce gave the Indians gifts
to win their friendship.
And, since it was Easter,
Ponce gave them... Easter eggs.
- Okay, fellas,
just like I taught you.
Keep your eye on your eggs.
Ready? Steady? Go!
Come on, they're running, oh!
You're gonna drop your egg.
- I love this chocolate bunny.
- I'm the best egg hunter,
chief.
- Yes, Little Walrus.
You are now the Egg Man,
"Koo-Koo, kachoo."
Now, what is it
that you want, Blondie?
- Well, chief,
I have some good news
and some bad news.
Now, the good news is that,
in memory of you,
I'm going to name this place...
Chief Orlando.
- What do you mean,
"in memory of"?
- That's the bad news.
You see, I'm afraid
I'm going to have
to conquer you and your people,
throw you in chains and ship you
back to Spain as slaves.
Nothing personal.
- You realize we will have
to defend ourselves
and wipe you and your men
off the face of the earth?
Oh, nothing personal.
- Chief, you have spirit!
I like that.
It reminds me of me,
when I was young.
- Yes!
I am feisty, for 86 summers.
- But you don't look
a summer over 18!
Well, how do you keep
your boyish good looks?
- Eat right,
get plenty of sleep,
stay out of sun.
- That's it?
- That's it.
Oh, did I mention I bathe
in the Fountain of Youth?
- The Fountain of Youth?
But that is the purpose
of my journey here.
Oh, you have to tell me
where to find it.
- No, I don't.
- Look, uh...
I'll make you a deal.
You show me how to find
the Fountain of Youth,
and I will spare you
and your people.
- Hmm...
An interesting offer, but...
I don't know.
- Look, I'll show you
how to make...
Mmm...
...chocolate bunnies.
- It's a deal.
First, you must go find
the Mysterious Stranger
who lives on top
of huge tree.
There, you'll be given
further instructions.
Now, we'll get
to the huge tree.
[gentle music]
[Herb]: So, Ponce and Julio
headed out
to find the Mysterious
widow Stranger.
Now, only two of his men
were brave enough or...
[chuckling]
dumb enough...
to follow him on his quest.
But Ponce didn't care.
Nothing and nobody
could stop him now.
- Uh, jefe?
[clearing throat]
Excuse me, sir,
I've been thinking.
- I'm sorry, I don't think
that's allowed.
- Well, frankly,
this whole business of searching
for the Fountain of Youth...
It's a bit... silly.
- Silly?
Listen, Julio, I don't think
you quite understand
our relationship.
You see, I am the master,
you are the slave.
That means you are not
permitted to think
or to have opinions of any kind.
That's because I'm the boss
or head honcho,
and you are the peon.
Head honcho, peon.
Comprende?
- I think so, jefe.
- Adelante!
- Adelante.
- Look, Julio,
forget that you are a peon
and tell me, honestly,
as a friend,
do you think
I'm just an old fool?
- I don't think
you're old, sir.
- You know something, Julio...
[animals screaming]
No matter how old I get,
I still think of myself
as a teenager.
It's like my body
is climbing into the coffin,
but my mind is climbing
out of the cradle.
Do you know what I mean?
- I think so, jefe.
- Really?
- It's normal.
- Normal?
- Yes.
You know,
Plato in the 4th century
had exactly
the same problem.
- I see the way
you're looking at him.
- I'm not looking at him,
I'm observing.
- Ah, you're beautiful
when you're observing,
my little quesadilla.
[speaking Spanish]
[intriguing music]
- Ah, here we are.
The Mysterious Stranger.
[knocking]
[birds cawing]
Oh, I guess no one's at home.
- Who is it?
- Oh! It is I,
Ponce de Leon, famous explorer
and representative of
His Majesty the King of Spain.
- Good for you.
- Can I...
come up?
- Don't be ridiculous,
come on up.
[moaning]
I'm... I'm a little
afraid of heights.
- I'm a little afraid of lows.
I hate feeling depressed,
this is why I live
high up here.
Now, what do you want?
- Please, how do I get
to the Fountain of Youth?
- Why didn't you say so?
You need the map
to the Fountain of Youth.
I'll be right back.
- Okay, guys, I don't need
to remind you,
you are in the Armada now,
and it's not just a job,
it's an adventure.
Now, I don't know
where the jefe is,
but until he returns, remember,
I'm the honcho,
you're the peon.
Honcho, peon.
Honcho, peon.
Never peon, honcho.
- Found it.
- Oh, thank you!
- Let me explain to you first.
This is a very dangerous voyage.
There are three dangerous zones.
The first one
is a swamp of beasts
that time forgot.
- Beasts?
- Big, mean beasts.
Second is the land of people
who no longer live,
also known
as the Indian graveyard.
- I hate graveyards.
- They hate you too.
The third one is the
ground that swallows.
- Look, isn't there
some kind of... shortcut?
- Many have tried,
none have survived,
that's why you have
to bring proof
that you visited
those three zones.
It's the only way
to the Fountain of Youth.
- Well, uh...
If that's the only way.
- For the love of peace!
I just told you so.
Ponce, you drive me crazy.
If you forgive me,
your time is up.
[rhythmic music]
[paper rustling]
- Thank you.
Julio! Look!
Look, I've got the map.
- Oh, whoopee, sir.
- No, no, no,
it really is the map.
Look, it's a reality.
[together]: The map!
- So, come on, men,
let's hear it. Hip, hip!
You fellas are supposed
to say, "Hurray!"
So, let's try it again.
Hip, hip!
Julio, why is it
that my men don't talk?
- Well,
they never learned, jefe.
- They never learned
how to talk?
- No, jefe,
before we left,
I lied to you.
Remember when
I told you that your men
weren't too bright?
The truth is they're stupid.
And they make cows
look brilliant.
- Men, is this true?
[together]: Yeah...
- Oh, wonderful.
My men are dumber than cows.
Nonetheless...
[singing]: We're all marching
to the Fountain of Youth,
we'll be there soon
and that's the truth!
- Giddy-up!
Ah! Let's go.
- Livestock for men.
We could be
in real trouble here.
[chuckling]
- You're beautiful
when you're in trouble,
my little enchilada.
[slurping]
- Oh, stop slobbering
all over me.
[slurping]
Oh...
[chuckling]
[Herb]: So, after travelling
for a few days longer,
Ponce and his men finally
came to the first zone.
- Well, according to this map,
we should be in the vicinity
of the beasts that
time forgot, jefe.
- I don't see any beasts.
- Let's forget it.
- No, no, no.
We'll just cross over here,
on these stepping stones.
[dramatic music]
[shouting]
Oh, my God!
My God! They're gigantic
water dinosaurs!
They are beasts!
- And their jaws are like
the gates of Hell!
- Yes, gates... Gators!
We'll call
these creatures "gators".
- They're so ugly.
- Then, we'll call them
"ugly gators".
- Never mind what
we're gonna call them,
how are we gonna get
across, boss?
- Ah... Me, Tarzan.
You, Julio.
- You who?
- Woo-hoo!
[indistinct shouting]
[screaming]
- This is your last chance.
[screaming]
[grunting]
Don't give up, boss!
Fight them!
- This is terrible,
the ugler gator has his leg.
- I'll save him,
the map is in his boots!
- Lucy!
What are you doing here?
- Oh, a vacation.
Rudolpho and I just needed
to get away together.
Our relationship
was getting a little routine,
you know how it is.
[groans]
- Boy, am I ever glad
we made it!
- Ever glad?!
That's what we'll call this
place, the "Everglads"!
- Oh... How about "Everglades"?
- Oh, close enough.
Ow!
- Sir!
Oh, look,
an ugly gator's tooth.
[sighing]
- Not tooth...
Proof... that I have been here!
- Yeah, what didn't I think
of that?
[snoring]
[Herb]: That night,
Ponce stood watch over
his sleeping men,
the map and Lucy,
who had her eye
on the map as well.
[moaning]
[paper rustling]
[moaning]
- I can't sleep.
- Neither can I.
Oh... I'm on watch.
- I hope you're not too upset
Randolph and I joined your
party.
- Well, you're here. There's...
There's not much I can do
about it.
- Must be awfully lonely out
here all by yourself.
- Well, it's all part
of camping out.
- Don't you miss female
companionship?
- Lucy, when you're an explorer,
your companions are excitement,
adventure and exhilaration!
Going where no one has gone
before.
The thrill of victory,
the agony of your feet.
Besides, I'm a happily married
man with a family,
so quit feeling my boot.
- Oh, but I'm a woman with
needs.
- Yes, I've been thinking about
your needs, Lucy.
- You have?
- Yes.
A woman doesn't need to be here.
It's too risky, too dangerous.
And more over,
it is too embarrassing
for a great explorer like me
to be seen travelling
with a woman in the ranks.
- The ranks! The ranks!
Take a look at your ranks.
Two turnip heads, a silly slave,
Rudolpho the worthless and me!
Face it, Ponce,
I'm not just a woman.
I'm the best man you've got.
- Yes, but still, I--
- Oh, just because I'm a pirate,
everyone assumes I'm dirt!
- But Lucy, you are dirt!
- No, I'm not.
I'm just a woman trying to make
it in a pirate's world.
Oh, sure, I admit I'm greedy.
I want to take the water from
the Fountain of Youth
and put it in tiny little
bottles with my picture
on a label
and sell it for exorbitant
prices
so I can stay young and
filthy rich forever.
Is that so wrong?
- Yes, I think it is.
- Oh...
- I too want to stay young
forever.
But more than that, I want
to discover the greatest thing
that's ever been discovered!
And not just for myself,
but for mankind!
Oh, just think of it.
No more aging or dying.
Eternal youth for each and every
person on earth.
- Yeah, that's great.
But in the meantime,
this pirate wants to get rich.
- Like I said, Lucy,
you are dirt.
[dramatic music]
[birds chirping]
[Herb]: And so, Ponce continued
to cut a path through Florida,
followed by loyal Julio,
the despicable Lucy,
and Rudolpho,
and of course,
the cows.
[chuckling]
And like all good explorers,
Ponce discovered a lot of
famous places along the way,
like Miami Beach,
Fort Lauderdale...
[indistinct chatter]
Cypress Gardens.
And Cape Canaveral.
[chuckling]
But in spite of finding
all these places and more,
the Fountain of Youth
was the only discovery Ponce
cared about.
So, it was on to the next zone:
the land of people
who no longer live.
A pretty creepy place.
- This is it, jefe.
The Indian graveyard.
- Yes, it is.
Well, I hope there are
no ghosts.
- You're gonna need some proof
that you were here.
May I suggest that you give
one of the rib bones from
the mummies?
- Somebody's bone?
- Sure! They won't mind,
they're dead, see.
- Ponce, you're wasting time.
Let's get this over with.
- Well, look, Lucy,
the fog's rolling in,
I don't work well in fog.
- Scared?
[chuckling]
- The great Ponce de Leon
scared?
[laughing]
[thunder crashing]
[gasping]
Oh, darn mosquitos.
- Ponce, if you're going to act
like a baby,
you can wait here. I'll do it.
- No.
- Yes.
If you're too scared,
let Lucy. She will do it.
- Hey, he not too scared!
- Yes, he is.
- No, he's not!
- I am not scared!
In fact, I can hardly wait
to get over there
and start ravaging through
that graveyard,
so let's get on with it.
Shall we, Julio?
- Me?
- Yes.
It will be me and Julio down
by the graveyard.
[thunder crashing]
- He is scared.
[chuckling]
[thunder crashing]
[breathing heavily]
- I can't do it.
Look, put me down. Down!
Julio, these people are dead up
here.
- Of course, jefe,
that's why it's a graveyard.
- Staring at this mummy, it...
it's like I'm staring at me.
My future...
[thunder crashing]
Everybody's future.
This is what we all have to look
forward to.
- It couldn't be that bad.
Have you noticed that
all mummies look so comfy
and peaceful?
[groaning]
[screaming]
[dramatic music]
[screaming]
- Oh... I, I...
I can't get it.
I can't get the rib.
- Is this the bone you're
looking for?
In your case,
it should've been a chicken
bone.
- Oh...
[laughing]
- Well, I wouldn't laugh yet
if I were you.
Ponce, in case you haven't
noticed, I've tied you to your
faithful servant, Julio.
I didn't want you to be lonely
when I leave you here to rot
and die.
- How very thoughtful.
- You see, Ponce, now that I
have the map,
I have no further
need for you.
- Enrique, Alfredo, earn
your food, overpower them and
save us!
- Sorry, Ponce.
The potato heads are with me.
- Lucy, even you can't be this
evil.
- You underestimate me, Ponce!
Oh, I realize I could slit your
throat and let you die quickly,
but that would be too humane.
No, I think I'll just leave you
here to die a slow and painful
death,
your carcasses slowly
decomposing,
the vultures picking away at
your helpless bodies.
[laughing]
- You're all heart, Lucy.
- Oh, what can I say,
I'm a pirate.
Any last words?
- Yes.
You stink, slime bag!
- I love you too, Ponce.
[rhythmic music]
- What are we gonna do, now?
- Don't worry, Julio.
Just a temporary setback,
that's all.
Don't forget, it's not over till
it's over.
- Trust me, it's over.
[thunder crashing]
[grunting]
I hate it when that happens.
- No.
No, Julio.
That is what I call luck.
- Darn lucky, jefe.
- Now, hurry,
and keep your eyes peeled.
Who knows what dastardly trick
Lucy might get up to next!
Hurry!
[Herb]: Well, Ponce and Julio's
luck continued.
Even without a map, they
managed to discover the third
and final zone.
[bubbles popping]
- Let me see.
- This is it,
the ground that swallows.
- Well, it isn't ground
and it isn't water.
It's... disgusting.
- I don't understand.
They're supposed to be slowly
rotting to death.
Is Ponce indestructible,
or what?
- You're beautiful when you're
puzzled, my little tostada.
- I think that grease
on your hair is beginning
to seep through.
- Oh, thank you.
- It's no bother.
We'll just cross over here
on this log.
- Hey, good idea. After you.
- No, after you.
- Oh, I insist,
Your Explorership, after you.
- No, no, no. After you.
Head honcho, remember?
- Oh, yeah.
[suspenseful music]
Hey, it's not that hard, boss.
It's easy, come on.
Take it easy.
Easy! Easy!
Are you okay?
[screaming]
Fast! Grab on to this!
Here, don't panic! Reach it!
[laughing]
- Woo-hoo, bravo!
- Please, try!
Grab it! Grab it!
- Just run! It just swallows!
It doesn't chew!
- You see it, grab it, please!
Jefe! Jefe!
- Oh, do you see what I see?
Yes, my men!
And that's the end of Ponce
de Leon.
[laughing]
- You killed him.
- Yes. Finally.
And now, the map says
the Fountain of Youth is at
the foot of the rainbow.
And wouldn't you know it,
there's a rainbow!
Oh, Julio, I'm feeling
magnanimous!
So I'm inviting you to join us
and share in my glory.
- Lucy, you're scum.
You've just killed the world's
greatest explorer
and a close personal friend
of mine.
- Julio, for heaven's sake,
you're his slave.
- I know.
But I liked him.
I really liked him.
And I'd rather die than follow
you.
- Well, if you must.
[Herb]: Little did Julio and
Lucy know,
Ponce had ended into a whole
new world.
An underground wonderland
complete with not one,
but two great-looking
hostesses.
[laughing]
- This is really a most pleasant
surprise.
[sighing]
- Can't you see that I'm doing
something totally unimportant?
- Aren't you the same person
I met in the treehouse?
- Of course not.
I'm never the same.
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, I'm positive you are.
- Off with this hat.
Good. Now, where were we?
- Good question.
- Wait a minute,
aren't you the man
who came to see me
in my treehouse?
- Yes, that's what I've been
trying to tell--
- Why didn't you tell me so?
Congratulations!
You have made it!
He has made it, ladies.
[applauding]
Congratulations.
Nobody ever made it here before.
Most of them just cross over
that quicksand
on that old tree trunk.
You were brave enough to jump
right in.
- I was?
Oh, of course, I...
I knew I was supposed to jump
right in.
- Do you have proof
that you passed by those two
dangerous zones?
- Yes indeed.
There.
One ugly gator's tooth
and one mummy's bone.
- Good.
These are very, very important.
[sighing]
- Now, where do I find
the Fountain of Youth?
[sighing]
- Oh, yes.
That old fountain.
Don't you realize
that people who go after
ridiculous things
end up being ridiculous
themselves?
- Well, I don't think my quest
is ridiculous.
In fact, I think it's rather
noble.
The greatest curse of life
is... growing old.
Your body gets flabby,
your chins multiply and your
brain turns to porridge.
And...
And what's your reward
for surviving all this?
You die. Dead.
And that to me
is ridiculous.
- Fine.
You might be interested
in seeing this.
[mysterious music]
- Ah...
Is that my...
- Grandson.
Congratulations.
- Oh...
[chuckling]
- If only your father
could see this.
- But I can! I can see you!
[Mysterious Stranger]:
This too is your grandson.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, grandpa.
- To good health!
Oh, wonderful!
Thanks to the Fountain of Youth,
I'll always be young enough
to enjoy him.
[snaps fingers]
Who's this?
- This too is your grandson.
Think carefully.
Is this the life
you want to lead?
[sighing]
Go home to your family,
my friend.
Give up that silly quest.
Can't you see that by
searching for youth
you are
missing on life?
[crying]
- Oh, no.
[sighing]
I'm sorry, but I'm an explorer.
And after all I've been through,
I simply can't quit now.
- If you insist.
At the end of a rainbow,
you see,
there are two fountains.
The first looks very beautiful
and inviting.
Ignore this fountain,
for it is a trap.
It is in fact far more
horrifying
than anything you have
experienced thus far.
It's called the Fountain
of Truth.
And that's no lie.
- And where do I find the real
fountain?
- A little further on,
you'll find a very plain,
simple fountain.
This is the true
Fountain of Youth.
- Well...
Thanks for the warning.
- Now go on,
get out of here.
I've got very unimportant
things to do.
- Yes, well...
Thank you, madam, uh...
Doctor...
What do I call you?
- Don't call me. I call you.
[mysterious music]
[sighing]
[rhythmic music]
- This is it!
[gasping]
I found it!
- You clever cookie!
- Oh! I'm rich!
I'm famous!
I'm going to be young forever!
I don't know about you boys,
but I'm taking a bath.
- Lucy, stop!
Stay away from that fountain!
- Ah, well if it isn't the head
honcho, Ponce de Leon.
Unfortunately,
you're just a little too late.
You see, I've already discovered
the Fountain of Youth,
which means it's all mine.
- But that isn't the Fountain
of Youth.
That is the Fountain of Truth!
[laughing]
[suspenseful music]
[screaming]
- Rudolpho...
[screaming]
Rudolpho!
[whimpering]
[grunting]
[screaming]
- Lucy?
- But jefe,
how did you know?
- The Mysterious Stranger
told me.
Oh... Poor Lucy.
I tried to warn her.
- Okay, so where's the real
Fountain of Youth?
- Just a little further on.
- Lucy?
I'm here.
Lucy?
[triumphant music]
- Ah-ha!
There it is.
The Fountain of Youth!
- Congratulations, jefe.
You found it!
- Yes, uh... This is it.
- Is anything wrong?
- No, no. Why?
- Oh, it's just that after
all that we've been through,
I just thought you'd be a little
more excited.
- Yes, I know. It's just that...
[chuckling]
Well, now, we're finally here,
I...
I...
- Jefe, did the Mysterious
Stranger say anything else?
- Oh, yes!
I'm a grandfather.
- No!
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- He's a grandfather.
Congratulations.
[sighing, clearing throat]
- Let's get this over with.
- You know, I wouldn't
do that, sir.
- Well, yes, that's why
I'm the honcho and you're
the peon, Julio.
Then again,
I don't want to end up
like one of those ugly gators,
a prehistoric relic that will
never change.
And remember that Indian
graveyard?
- Oh, si, jefe. Yes.
- Well...
If I was to stay young forever,
I would have to watch
all my loved ones and friends...
die.
[laughing]
You know something, Julio?
The Mysterious Stranger
was right.
Growing old is a part of life.
And instead of dreading it,
I'm going to enjoy it.
[laughing]
I am going to grow old!
With my wife and my family.
And I'm going to help my little
grandson grow up.
[laughing]
- That's a beautiful idea, boss.
- Oh, Julio, my friend.
Let's go home.
[laughing]
[light music]
[kissing noise]
[speaking in Spanish]
[Julio]: Come on, now.
Come one.
[kissing noise]
Jefe, I forgot my bag at
the fountain.
- Oh, well, go and get it.
And hurry! Hurry!
I haven't a moment to lose.
- Right.
[chuckling]
[sighing]
[whistling]
[screaming]
- That's it? That's the end
of the story?
- Just about.
Yeah, Ponce went back home
and he lived the rest
of his days with his family
and his grandchildren.
He lived to a ripe old age,
and finally died just like
everybody else.
- Well, what about
the Fountain of Youth?
- People are still looking
for it.
What do you think we're doing?
[chuckling]
- That's true.
But what about that guy,
Julio, the guy who fell into
the fountain?
What happened to him?
- I don't know.
Hey, wait a second.
Let's ask the guy who told me
the story.
Hey, Julian!
Hey, que pasa?
How's it going?
- Oh, you know,
always the same.
[laughing]
Subtitling: difuze