Sweetbitter (2018–2019): Season 2, Episode 2 - Equifax & Experian - full transcript

Tess' bad credit score reveals something about her past, and he gang tries to help; Sasha is accused when Santos' new shoes go missing.

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Previously on Sweetbitter...

Oh, my God.

Your mother
clearly didn't baby you.

- Her dad raised her.
- Oh.

Your mother
never made you help?

We ate a lot of food
you just added water to.

I wanna talk to Howard
right now.

Where is he?

I didn't tell anyone.

You are showing your age
right now.

Kinda thought you
didn't wanna do this anymore.



I did what I thought was best.

I needed things to die down.

Daddy's back.

Do you not wanna get better?

I do not care either way.

New York is never a mistake...

Jake, however, is.

Hi, I'm Rosalynn.
I'm the new hostess.

You're gonna ask permission?

Morning.

Don't move.

Here we go.
Enjoy your meal.

All right, thank you.

Hm, poor kid.



- Who?
- Rosalynn.

I don't know if
I'd have sex with her.

- She didn't ask you.
- She just started.

Baby Jakey doesn't waste time.

Fuck everyone.

- Didn't fuck me.
- Not yet.

He tried to fuck me
when I started.

- Seriously?
- Ew, he never did.

He just wanted me
for my gold star.

Well, he didn't even
look at me twice.

- He was intimidated.
- By?

She's black.

I don't mean black.
I mean Ivy League.

Didn't intimidate me.

Hey, the night's not over yet.

Jake tried to fuck Sasha.

I touched his erection once...

we had a very long
discussion about that.

Both tops... not meant to be.

Uh, no way you're a top.

What are the cretins
talking about tonight?

Nothing interesting.

Bye.

Those are awesome.
Are they new?

Uh yeah, I just bought them
last night.

Third person in line.

- Hey, how you feeling?
- Hey.

Okay, it looks better.

Are you off the pain pills?

Yep.

Okay...

Are you feeling
a bit more optimistic?

Everything is great.

Shut the fuck up,
pendejos, will you?

The shoes... those are hideous.

- Sasha.
- They are. Look at them.

What'd you say?

- Sasha.
- No, dumb fuck's

spending his money on shoes.

He doesn't even have roads
in his countries.

Or toilets.
He shits on the street.

Why don't you go fuck yourself
and go back to Mexico?

I'm not from Mexico...

- Okay, thank you.
- Okay, Sasha.

- Seriously?
- What you know,

- flat-chested cunt?
- Hey!

Hey, Sasha...

Sorry about that guy.
He's, um...

I... I don't know.

He's going through
a rough time.

Feels good though, right?

No, um...
now I'm taking them off.

Yeah, I get it.

Buying something like that makes
you feel like a different person.

- Good night.
- Night.

What do you think?

Mm, fucking hot.

Right?

I've been here four times
to try it on.

Just get it.

I should, right?
I'm a New Yorker.

I live in New York.
It's like a rite of passage.

I've got an apartment.
I got a job.

And it's gonna get fucking cold
in, like, a minute.

I'm doing it...

Wait, didn't you just say
you were gonna buy it?

Well, I don't have
$500 in cash,

but I've been thinking about
getting a credit card.

Oh, here.

- I have three.
- Oh...

No, you'll pay me back.

I'm like a credit card,
but with zero interest,

and whether you actually
pay me back...

No, thank you.

I want my own.

Fine.

Then let's go...

- Before someone else buys it.
- Where?

Just follow me.

These are the
rejected lollipops

that didn't taste right...

I fucking love them.

What do you think this one is?

Cran apple?

Mmm... semen.

Please stop.

It's delicious.

Oh, he's back.

I'm sorry, but we cannot
offer you a card at this time.

- What?
- Your credit score is less than ideal.

How is that possible?
I've... I've never...

I'm looking at a card
in your name that was

maxed out in 2002 in Nevada

and has been in collection
since 2003.

2002?
I was 17.

Okay, it's obviously
a mistake.

I ran your social twice...
Equifax and Experian.

Okay, I don't know those banks,

and stop looking at her
like that, Oscar.

Obviously, some asswipe in Nevada
got a hold of her information.

Perhaps a parent
opened it for you,

since you were a minor
at the time?

No.
I don't know anyone in Nevada.

- I've never been to Nevada.
- Okay, you're not listening.

Oscar, just tell
whoever you need to tell

that my friend here
has had her identity stolen.

You get this
taken care of. Stop.

Stop nodding.

It doesn't matter whether
I believe you or not.

No financial institution on
Earth is going to approve you.

I'm sorry.

- Where's your supervisor?
- Ari.

It's fine.
Let's just go.

Little bitch.

This is a sauvignon blanc
from the Loire,

which is different
than one from California,

which immediately loses its
character in the hotter climate.

Hello?
Are you listening?

Yes.
Sorry.

Um...

- Climate, the climate.
- Sorry to interrupt.

Tess, could I cajole you into
unloading a pallet in the cellar,

maybe some light organization
if there's time?

We're right in the middle.

Howard,
there must be someone else.

Must there?

Shouldn't take long.

Of course.
Thanks.

- Hey, Howard?
- Hm?

Quick question.
Do you think, um...

Do you think it would be
completely out of line to ask

if I can use your computer
for, like, two minutes,

and then I'll get started
in the cellar?

I didn't realize
we were negotiating.

It's really important.

The chair is set to a very
specific height and lean.

- Please don't change it.
- Of course.

Thank you.

M-motherfucking...

shit.

Ugh!

That system makes no sense...

More.

Less.

This is good.

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.

- Throw this out.
- Mmm.

Stop finger-fucking my sauces.

Hey, taste this.

- Makes you feel better.
- What do you mean, "feel better"?

Ari said somebody named Oscar
took all your money.

I hate working here.

Is he talking to me?

His sneakers...
what did you do with them?

Like I would touch...

- Move!
- Sasha.

- Give him his shoes back.
- I didn't take them.

One of them.
They're all thieves.

You think
I can't understand you?

- Don't fucking touch me.
- Okay, guys, stop.

No, shit.
Dinner's up.

- Yeah, so, Sasha, shoes.
- He didn't take them.

Go to hell, Ari.

What the fuck?

Hey. How's it going?

Oh, drama in the kitchen,

but, uh, you should see
the wine cellar.

I'm updating the system and
I feel pretty good about it.

Cool.

So...

Ari told you, huh?
Great.

She just feels bad for you.
We all do.

Okay, well, don't.

It's... it's not a big deal.

Having your identity stolen
is kind of a big deal.

Okay, well, I'm working.

Really, does nobody work
around here?

Absolutely.

Yeah, in fact,

I'm gonna fold napkins.

It's not what you think anyway.

It was my mom.

I didn't even know you had one.

I mean, you just never really
talk about your family

or anything like that.

Yeah, well, I don't...

really talk to her at all.

She didn't raise me.

In fact, the only thing
she knows about me

is my social security and

she used it to buy shit

and ruin my credit.

Jesus.

Yeah.

Well, my mom...

my mom chaperoned my prom and
she made me slow dance with her.

Will...

I-I don't need a credit card.
I'll be fine, okay?

Go.

Don't tell anyone, please.

I don't share with
a lot of people.

Yes?

You wanted to see me?

- Have a seat.
- No, thanks.

It has come to my attention
there may be something

between you and
the new hostess.

We spend a tremendous
amount of time here.

Romantic relationships
between coworkers...

it's natural.

Understandable.

I'm going to be
amending the handbook,

the one you likely burned
when you started.

Going forward,
new policy expects

employees to disclose
intimate relationships

with coworkers to management.

You wanna know who I'm fucking?

I don't care
who you're fucking.

I care about what happens
in my restaurant.

I want those situations
to be above board.

My priority is a safe

and professional
work environment.

I-I don't...

Sorry?

I have nothing intimate
to disclose.

Okay.

You can go.

Pick up!
Hey risotto's up.

You were in the wine room?
I can't find the Occhipinti.

It should be under O.
Occhipinti.

It didn't make sense to me.

- The alphabet?
- The system.

It should be grouped
by country based on the map,

so the Italy section
is now on the north wall.

Within that,
it's still alphabetical.

Okay, stop.
Find the bottle for me.

Okay.
Fine, okay.

Should've just
filed it under Sicily.

Oh, of course.
It should go north to south.

Thank you.

Hey. Hey!

You embarrassed me in front
of the whole kitchen.

How could I let you
talk to him like that?

Him?

Are you a special kind
of fucking idiot?

You think, poor baby Santos.

You think Sasha's
just on drugs.

You think we both immigrants,
so why don't we kiss under the rainbow?

Listen to me, princess.
I went to college.

I speak four fucking languages,

and it doesn't matter,
'cause my life is fucked.

Why, though?
Why is it fucked?

My visa expired, okay?

Well...

what does that mean?

It means I'm illegal like him.

Okay, a policeman catch me,
and send me back,

and you will never
see me again.

But maybe that's what you want.

Oh, Sasha.

Come on.

Of course that's not
what I want. I just...

We'll figure it out, okay?

But you have to give Santos
his sneakers back.

I did not take his
fucking sneakers, Tess.

Fine.

Whatever.

I got my own problems.

The asshole in the office
just gave me a lecture

on who I'm sleeping with.

- Did he?
- Yeah.

He's putting in
some kind of new policy.

Is that right?

Hm.

Well, we could be...

More discreet.

You know what's funny?

I don't.

You skipped one.

A new girl.

Tess.

Is that why
she's in a mood tonight?

I think she's having issues
with her mom.

Mm...

I was under the impression
she doesn't have a mom.

Apparently she does.

Wow, she can be
strangely guarded.

Look who I'm talking to.

There she is.
Don't be mad.

- I told Heather.
- He told me.

Just because
she's in law school...

- Was.
- Was in law school,

and she-she knows about
these things.

Seriously, the wrongful
acquisition of personal data

through fraud or deception
for economic gain

is a federal offense.

You could have her arrested.

I could have
my mother arrested?

Sure.
She deserves it.

How about I don't want
anything to do with the woman?

And in case you guys
haven't got the memo,

- I don't wanna talk about it.
- We're just trying to help.

Okay, well, don't.

I didn't ask for help,
I don't want help,

so leave me alone.

Tess, your voice is echoing
down the hallway.

Uh, will you guys
give us a minute?

Oh, dear.

You are clearly
working through some issues.

This is gonna be...
so much better.

Yeah, it's not only
organized by country,

but by region, north to south,
by... on the map.

You do know you're gonna have to
put this back the way it was, right?

You... are a very
private person.

Very independent.

Well, I've had to be.

I didn't exactly have a choice.

And you are better for it.

But you seem intent on
doing everything yourself.

Isn't that exhausting?

Yeah.

It is.

You know, letting people in

isn't the same as being weak.

I just wanted a leather jacket.

And how does she
still get to me?

Because she doesn't know you.

She doesn't know
how brave you are.

How you left her behind
and everything else,

and how you have done
all of this on your own.

It doesn't make a difference.

It makes all
the difference.

It means that one day,
you are gonna have

what you want...

Even a leather jacket.

That's the least
of my problems.

And what if one day,
I want a car?

Or a house?
Or a plane ticket?

Look at me.

Hey.

That part is fixable.

It is all fixable,

but you gotta
let people help you.

Let me help you.

"Dear little taco boy,
I did not take your shoes.

"I believe they are very ugly,
not my taste,

"And...

"I do not steal
from poor people.

"Warm regards...

Aka Sasha."

Well, it seems her mother
opened a card in her name.

Y-yeah, I-I know.
I know.

But, John, they don't have
any relationship whatsoever.

They haven't had contact
in years and years.

It's 12... 12 years?

In 12 years.

Yes, this was a child
who was taken advantage of.

Great.

Mm-hmm.
Okay.

N-no.

Her name is Tess.

Simone?

I can do it.

John, h-hold on.
Here she is.

John is one of our regulars,
and he is a hell of a lawyer.

Okay?

He's gonna help us,

and we're gonna get him
a table for forever.

Take your time.

Thank you.

Hi, John.

Oh, there she is.

- I smell leather.
- No.

- Bow and everything.
- Just open it.

Open it!

Open the fucking thing.
I wanna go home.

Eww.

- Ugh.
- That doesn't look like leather to me.

It's from this amazing store
called our lost and found.

The good stuff gets taken
in the first few hours.

That's been here
for about six months.

Might wanna wash it.

- Put it on.
- Fashion show.

- Yeah.
- Put it on.

- Fashion show.
- Put it on.

- Fashion show.
- Put it on.

- Fashion show.
- Put it on.

Put it on.

Aww, it looks cute.

Wow.

Guys...

- I don't know what to say.
- Don't.

Here.

- Parents suck.
- Hey.

Oh, I'm sorry, Nicky.

I'm sure your kids
will never need therapy

because their
dad's a bartender.

Hey, fuck you.
Your dad hasn't called you in a year.

Fuck you.
Eight months.

He called to tell me that he had
another kid that he named Ariel.

Terrible boy's name.

My parents think I'm a failure.

Yeah, magna cum laude
from fucking Princeton.

Never done anything right.

William's mom got fat
when he leaves home.

Why would you say that?

Because it's true.
She has no life without you.

I'm the only child my parents don't
pester about having grandkids.

- Isn't that a good thing?
- No, it's offensive.

- My kid would be fucking awesome.
- Hmm.

My mother never had a passport,

and she never learned
how to drive.

She hasn't once
visited me in New York

because I won't let her.

And my mom went for a swim
and never came back.

Now it's a party.

My mommy is the
most fabulous person

in the entire world.

- A saint.
- Yeah, but she's in Russia.

You'll never see her again.

It's true.

Well, we're all
orphans Annie.

To orphans Annie?

To orphans Annie.

- Na Zdorovie.
- Na Zdorovie.

You should burn that jacket.

Fast.