Survivors (1975–1977): Season 1, Episode 8 - Spoil of War - full transcript
What's funny?
Oh, I was just thinking of something
my father used to say.
- What's that?
- "All beginnings are hard. "
That's not funny.
All we ever seem to do is begin.
You don't think that's funny?
Oh, funny as your sense of humour.
Have you finished, you two?
- Yes, Mrs Cohen.
- Yes, Mrs Cohen.
No. Aunt Emma.
- Yes, Aunt Emma.
- Yes, Aunt Emma.
All right. Then you can take
Barney's breakfast, hmm?
Here it is.
Do you call that finished?
Come on, young man.
To the last drop. Mmm, up, up, up.
That's it. Now, that's better.
Now, be careful.
Don't run and don't drop it, please.
Ooh, do you think we could have
a bone for Ben?
No, we can't have a bone for Ben
because there aren't any bones for Ben.
Look, all the bones we have
go to make soup.
Ben has to earn his own living
just like the rest of us.
Now, off you go, off. And be careful.
Oh! Be careful!
- Any more hot water?
- It won't be long now.
Oh, for some soap.
Right. Where do we start?
We can't just start anywhere.
Oh, I don't know.
Let's start over there, shall we?
- Right.
- All right, then.
Jenny, you go at the back
and lift the shares.
- This one?
- No, at the back.
- Oh.
- Okay?
- All right. Okay. Come on, then.
- All right, let's go on.
Come on, boy.
Come on, boy.
- All right.
- Can you go any faster?
- You all right?
- Yeah.
- Well, shall we give it a go about here?
- Yeah.
- All right, then, okay?
- Whoa, boy.
- Think he'll be all right?
- Yes, he'll eat.
All right.
Well, I'll come over here.
Now the other one.
There.
- All right?
- Yeah.
I'll lead, and you have a go.
All right. Come on then, boy.
All right, then. Now, then. All right?
- Go on.
- Come on, boy. Come on.
- Go.
- Come on. Come on, boy. Come.
- Come on, boy. Come.
- Go on.
Oh, no. Look, you better lead him, I...
I'll go behind, go on.
Oh.
- You think he can do it?
- I don't think he's big enough.
- Come on.
- Hang on.
You've just got to try very hard.
- Okay?
- The plough is falling.
- Hold on by the handles.
- Yeah, okay.
Come on, try.
- Come on.
- Come on, boy. Go on, boy.
Go on. Nearly. Go on, boy.
- Go on, boy.
- Come on.
- Oh.
- Oh, come on. Just try, please.
I don't think he will. He's too small.
- One more go.
- One more go. Go on.
- Come on, boy.
- Come.
Go on, boy. Go on.
Go on, go on.
You in the market for advice?
- Well, who are you?
- Paul.
- What are you doing here?
- Watching.
He ain't never gonna do it, you know.
Where do you come from?
- Does it matter?
- Have you been ill?
- Yeah. I've been ill.
This nag will never do.
He's a good pony.
Depends what you mean by "good",
doesn't it?
Good for what? Where did you get him?
- Nick him from a posh livery stable?
- No.
He was shut in a little field.
He was starving.
You've got a kind heart.
But he never worked in chains before.
Anyway, there's good grass.
What do want to plough it up for?
You have to plough it up, you know,
before you can plant anything.
You don't plant good pasture though,
do you?
What are you going to
feed your stock on?
You have got stock?
- We got some sheep, and a goat, and a...
- Jenny...
Look, you need help.
- Who says?
Now, look here, Mr...
- Paul.
- Very well. Paul...
How come you know so much about it?
- I've been at it a long time.
- Doing what?
We had this commune down Winchester.
Haven't you got any men here?
Okay, we'll try it now.
I don't know.
- It's turning over all right.
- Aye, but it's not catching, see.
I told you now, it's your jet, man.
You should have left it
where it was, man,
instead of wasting fuel,
dragging it up here, see.
Hello.
- Now, who's she now, then?
- He.
- Hard to tell though, isn't it?
Our own cream cheese.
Thanks.
Look, I don't want to butt in
where I'm not wanted
but I think I can offer you some advice.
We're in the market
for anything we can get.
- Including advice.
- Good.
- How much land have you got here?
- About 20 acres.
- And there are, what?
- Nine of us.
You should be laughing.
- Is it all pasture?
- There's a field of wheat.
There's one field's got cabbages in.
But they're only little ones.
Okay. Look,
I know what you are all thinking.
I mean, "What's this
long-haired git doing,
"coming here telling us what to do?
What does he know about it?"
Well, I can't help that.
I'm not here to criticise.
But I'm no good at tact.
I mean, I can't say you're doing
a grand job and all that crap.
You got one cow drying out,
a riding school hack,
six chickens and
a field full of spring cabbages.
- And some sheep, and a goat, and...
- Okay, okay.
But unless you get yourselves organised,
you're wasting your time.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, really.
You see, there's no use ploughing up
any old bit of land
and saying, "Oh, we'll grow this here
and that there. "
There's a whole cycle.
You've got to become part of it.
You got to be planning two years ahead
all the time.
And rotate your crop,
so you never get a bit of land
idle or shagged out.
First, livestock.
You need two good horses.
Old work horses like Suffolks or
Clydesdales, if you can get them.
But that's unlikely.
But at least something
you can get used to pulling a plough.
Yeah, well, you may not have noticed it,
but we do happen to have a tractor.
How long you've been tinkering with it?
Trying to get it going?
- A week.
- No, no, felt like. We've had it a week.
But we've only been working on it
a couple of days, see.
Three days.
In three days with two horses
you could have ploughed six acres.
Aye. But wait till
we get the tractor going.
Sure. You'll do five acres a day. Easy.
But what about when you're held up
because you got to scour the countryside
looking for a spare part?
And when you're going further
and further afield,
trying to find diesel?
Well, you talk as if
nothing will never get back to normal.
And you're talking as if everything's
going to get back to
what you call "normal" by Christmas.
Well, maybe it will.
I mean, we don't know that, do we?
I mean, I met a fellow in
the station wagon the other day,
piled high with tins and bottles
and things.
And he said somebody he'd met
had heard the Japs
had found a new vaccine.
And I suppose he swam all the way
across the Pacific just to tell us.
Look, you may be right. I don't know.
All I know is, you got to work
on the assumption that you're wrong.
That it's never going to change. Never.
Pessimist. That's what you are.
Pessimist.
Doom merchant.
Yes, well, we all know that.
So what do you suggest we do?
What are you ploughing for?
- What are you aiming to plant?
- Potatoes.
You got seed potatoes?
Yeah. Well, I found this clump, see,
a fortnight ago when we came here.
That's not seed potato.
- You want seed potatoes?
- Well, what's the difference then?
You want shoots.
You put some aside when you lift them,
you stack them on end
with the eyes on top and they sprout.
You won't get anything
out of them.
Let's have a look
at this tractor of yours.
Right. I'll show you, follow me.
You know,
he could be very useful.
Mmm, if a trifle depressing.
- Do you think he'll fix the tractor?
- No, not a chance.
Not without the spares.
- Well, that's that, then.
- No spuds.
Just a minute. The tractor.
- What about it?
- Well, at the quarry.
- What?
- Well, they had potatoes there.
I mean, they had everything,
they even had yeast.
- What are you talking about?
- Can you remember the day I met you,
when I was collecting that stuff
from the chemist's shop?
With that girl...
Yeah, well, they've got
all that stuff together.
I mean, it might still be there.
- Well, she may have gone back there.
- No, no, not with the chap dead.
Well, it was three or four months ago.
Now, do you two mind telling me
whatever all this is about?
Oh, we told you at the church.
Don't you remember?
This couple had
gone methodically around the country,
scouring, looking for provisions.
They got it all stored away
in a quarry near Abercastle.
Then the man had an accident
with a tractor and died.
Oh, yes, I remember.
You picked her up and
she wandered off on her own.
They'd got a fantastic amount together.
Well, do you think
it still might be there?
Well, it could be. It was well hidden.
Well, I wish you'd
remembered it earlier.
It just never occurred to me.
Well, it's a bit outside our radius
even now.
Now, just you stick to
the route I've marked, all right?
- Yeah.
- And no shortcuts.
In that case if anything goes wrong,
at least I'm going to know
which road you're on.
Right-ho, now, then.
Don't worry about us, boy.
Yeah.
Is he all right with that gun?
Who, Barney?
Well, I'll tell you now, boy,
he may not be much in the head,
but he's a lovely shot,
and careful, too.
I taught him that, see.
Isn't that right, Barney?
Isn't that right, Barney?
- My sheep.
- Yeah, well, don't you worry
about your sheep, Barney.
We'll look after them.
Get inside now, my Barney boy.
I'll be with you now in a minute.
That's a good boy.
We're pals, see, him and me.
Well, he's more like a pet, really, see.
Yeah, well, don't try and get
too much this trip.
And see if you can get an inventory,
as complete as you can.
We'll go and we'll be back before dark.
Yes. And mind how you go.
And leave the booze alone!
It's been planted as a lea .
Look, you're gonna need
three tonnes of hay next winter.
If I was you, I'd fence off
about an acre and a half,
the other end for that.
The rest of it will plough quite easy.
Just plough all this in.
Well, you can use it for grazing,
but that's about all.
- Why?
- Drainage.
But surely it's well-drained
with the stream here.
Just the opposite.
All the water from the rest of the land
just swamps down through the field
to the stream.
If the stream was on top
and running at right angles,
you'd be well-drained.
You can dig a ditch over there later on.
Might help.
I'd never have thought of that,
would you?
Yeah, well, he seems to know
what he's talking about.
Oh, come on, Greg.
You're not having your harem challenged,
you know.
I got away with one of my kids.
But she took ill near Petworth.
I couldn't do nothing for her.
She was a terror, she was.
I found a church and buried her.
I just sat there beside her for...
I don't know.
Days.
Still, you've all been through it.
I'll kill that Tom Price.
- No sign?
- No.
No, I know him, he's broken open
the booze and got drunk.
They won't be back tonight now.
I hope nothing's happened to them.
Where were you going
when you came across us, Mr...
Just Paul.
I don't know, really.
I came out first off looking for my dad.
- You been in London?
- No.
Don't.
He worked at King's Cross
on the railway.
Anyway, I couldn't find him.
His flat was all tidy
but he wasn't in it.
I was lucky to get out alive.
There's snipers everywhere,
waiting to pick off
anything they see moving
for a gold filling or a packet of fags.
There they are. Listen.
Damn fools! Travelling at night.
Now, grab your coats
and come give me a hand.
No, you stay here, children,
and finish your supper. Please.
- That doesn't look like the van.
Perhaps they found another.
It isn't a van,
it's a Land Rover.
Jenny, go and get a gun, quick.
Paul, you stand by the lights
of the bus.
All right! Now, who are you?
Now, turn your lights off
and come out with your hands up!
Paul!
Don't shoot me!
I'm sorry. I hoped you'd be friendly.
Well, we may be.
What are you doing here?
I was just looking for somewhere
to park for the night.
I saw your lights.
You make it a habit of driving around
at night?
No. In fact, I got quite panicky
when it started to get dark,
but we just couldn't find
anywhere secluded.
We?
- Mr Russell and I.
I'm Charmian Wentworth.
Do you think I can move out
of those lights now?
They're rather dazzling.
Yeah, sure. Go on.
- Well, where is this Mr Russell?
- Oh, he's asleep.
At least I hope he's asleep.
I hope we haven't disturbed him.
- You're not ill, are you?
- Ill? No.
Oh. No, we haven't got the Death,
if that's what you mean.
Mr Russell had it,
but he's quite recovered now.
What's he asleep for, then?
And you driving him round?
Well, he's my... I'm his secretary.
- You're kidding.
- What do you mean?
I'm his secretary,
I've been his secretary since...
- He's "the" Mr Russell.
- Oh, "the" Mr Russell.
I'm sorry, Mr Arthur Russell,
of Russell Investments.
Taebo Unit Trusts,
Anglo-Russell Properties...
He has an island off the coast of
Argyllshire. That's where we're going.
An island?
Like with people?
Surfs, vassals and such like?
Oh, no.
There's only one tiny house there.
Oh, dear. He's awake.
What's all this about?
I was just stopping for the night,
Mr Russell.
Oh, yes.
Well, you'd better get some sleep, then.
Good evening.
- Has he gone back to bed?
- Oh, I expect so.
He does so hate to be disturbed.
That's why I didn't want to...
Isn't he marvellous?
Oh, no. No, I don't... Really. Oh, dear.
This is our land you're parked on,
and we expect a certain standard
of courtesy.
'Cause otherwise we're inclined to
throw people off it.
This island of yours may be
more inhabited than you expect.
Don't you think a lot of other people
have exactly the same idea?
Possibly. But it is my island,
I have a legal title to it.
Whose law? Legal title is
whatever you lay your hands on now.
Yes, but I don't think
anybody would want it,
it's quite barren.
How are you gonna live then?
Well, it is of course
surrounded by fish.
And I suppose Mrs Wentworth
will be doing the fishing for you.
Are you being deliberately offensive,
young man?
Or is this an example of
your standard of courtesy?
I don't know about him being offensive,
I haven't known him long enough.
But it seems to me that
for a successful businessman,
you don't seem to be showing
much foresight.
It's all right.
We have fixed up a room for you.
I hope you wouldn't mind sharing.
If that's all right.
Won't you join us in a drink, Mrs Cohen?
Oh, no, no, thank you very much.
- You, Miss...
- Well, thank you.
- No, dear.
- No, thank you.
You're not short of it.
Not for the moment.
- Charmian?
- Yes, Mr Russell?
Perhaps we'll stay on here a day or two.
- You could do with a rest.
- Yes.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
Come along, you two.
I've got a lot to do
with two more mouths to feed.
And take this out to Wendy, please.
Why is Wendy looking after the sheep?
'Cause Barney's not back yet.
- Where is Barney?
- With Tom.
- Where's Tom?
- Oh, off you go.
- Wendy wants her breakfast, off!
- Come on.
Come on, Lizzie.
- Hey, careful. Careful.
Wouldn't you give them
just one more hour?
No, no. They've had time enough.
Even if they waited
until it was daylight,
they should have been back hours ago.
I didn't think we'd need a caravan.
No, fine.
- Who's driving?
- I'll drive. How are we for gas?
There's enough.
Greg, you will take care.
You'll be leaving us pretty depleted
if anything happens to you.
No, don't worry. Nor you.
We'll be back soon.
Probably with a hungover Tom Price.
Yes, well, I hope that's all it is.
Good luck.
Some sort of expedition?
- Yes.
- Going far, are they?
I do hope you don't mind us
borrowing your Land Rover.
But you did say you'd like to stay
for a couple of days.
Yes, thank you.
Yes, well, if I were you,
I'd get your things out of the caravan.
I loathe arrogance in a woman.
Oh, dear. Is something wrong?
- This Grant person.
- Well, what's the matter?
Well, I may be old-fashioned
but bossy women all seem to me
to have no femininity.
- I know.
- And taking the Land Rover like that,
- high-handed in the extreme.
- The Land Rover?
Yes, they just drove off in it.
To search for somebody
without so much as a by your leave.
- I think they're very worried.
- Of course they're worried.
There's no excuse
for that sort of behaviour.
I loathe bad manners.
Perhaps you'd like to move on.
Without the Land Rover?
Well,
surely it's not gone for good.
No. No, I'll give them
a little more rope.
- I'll watch how things go.
- Right.
Well, don't run away.
I was just going to see
if I could be of any use.
To whom?
Mr Russell, I think
these people need us.
- Oh, do you?
- Yes.
Perhaps more than we need them.
Charmian, I think for the time being
it might be a good idea
not to mention the little
we bought with us.
I wasn't thinking
of the food and drink.
I was thinking of us.
In what way? How could they need us?
Well, there's such a lot to do.
They're not living out of tins,
you know.
I don't really see myself
as a very good farm labourer.
But you are a brilliant administrator,
Mr Russell.
I'm sure they'll find that very useful.
Charmian, do you think
in the circumstances
we might try to be a little less formal?
After all, we do know now
that my name is Arthur.
Why, thank you, Mr...
Thank you, Arthur. I'll do my best.
You always do, my dear.
Oh, the Abby woman suggested
we might like to bring
our things inside, from the caravan.
Oh, well,
perhaps you'd let me have the key.
Well, if we do it,
we'll do it in our own time.
Well, there's quite a lot to move.
Yeah, we'll leave it till later
and I'll give you a hand.
Thank you, but we shouldn't
leave it too late, you know.
Yeah, I suppose not.
Shouldn't we offer them food?
What happens if we decide to move on?
Well, surely they'd let us have it back.
Possibly, my dear,
but I'd rather avoid any embarrassment.
- Looks pretty desolate.
- Yeah.
Not much been around here.
Well, except Tom Price, we hope.
There's the van.
- Yeah, but where the hell are they?
What did they stop for?
The puncture?
Get back!
- Well, that answered your question.
- Can you reverse out?
- Like a shot,
if you'll forgive the expression.
- Who was it shouted?
- Oh, I don't know.
Could have been Tom Price.
Did you see where the shot came from?
No. But if it wasn't from the van,
it must have been
somewhere around that hut.
Yeah, well,
there's nothing for it, I suppose.
We'll have to go and have a look.
I'm not very good with these things.
Yeah, well, now's the time to learn.
Come on.
We'll have to go further on up. Come on.
For God's sake, keep your head down.
It's a bit hard on the elbows,
as the Bishop said.
Sorry.
So where the hell are they?
They're not still in the van, I suppose.
There they are.
Price! Price!
Up here!
Where the hell have you been?
How many of them are there?
About three or four I think.
We can't move neither way.
They shot our tyres out
as soon as we appeared.
Every time we make a move, they shoot.
- You can't have been there all night.
Well, we have.
You could have got out when it was dark.
You must be joking.
With the moon last night,
it was as light as day, man.
Well, where are your guns?
In the van. And my fags.
I've been dying for a smoke.
Well, listen, we just get out of here.
Now, is it just the tyres
of the van they got?
Yeah, I think so.
You haven't got any fags on you,
have you?
- No.
- Oh.
How about a white flag
and a dignified retreat?
Well, I don't see how else
we're going to get them out of there.
Have you got a handkerchief down there?
A handkerchief?
- To make a white flag with!
Well, I got a handkerchief,
but, I don't know about white, though.
You've been cleaning the tractor
with that.
But it'll have to do.
I need a stick to put it on.
Well,
isn't there anything down there?
- No.
- Yes, there is.
Down to your right.
It's only a few feet along.
What, there?
He'll take a pot at me if I go for that.
Barney boy, you be a good boy
and go and get it for me.
Wait a minute. You get it.
No, no, he's quicker than me, see.
- Be less of a target, like.
- You get it!
Oh, all right.
Stay here, Barney boy, look out for me.
Get on with it, Price!
Dear, dear, Barney,
that was close now, wasn't it?
Well, well...
- It's funny though.
- What's funny about it?
It was the same last time,
one rifle shot,
then a lot of shotguns going off.
Well, perhaps they just take their cue
from a leader.
They're not so good though,
the rest of them.
Look at the van.
Shall I wave it about at them?
Well, so much for the Geneva Convention.
I'm not doing that again, man.
They got no respect, man.
I didn't see where
the rifle shot came from.
But the shotguns are
poked out along the wall.
Look, there's one just below that poster
or whatever it is.
- See that black square?
- Yes.
Another one just along to the right
about six feet, and so on.
Yeah, it's not much of a help though,
is it?
I don't know.
Wonder if the other side's
as well protected.
I tell you, boy.
They're animals, they are.
I mean, you respect the flag of truce,
don't you, man?
Well, well...
Yeah, well, it's worth having a look.
You keep them busy here.
I'm going to have a go round the back.
Just give me a couple of minutes
and then take the occasional pot shot
in their direction.
Barney boy, we're not going to
get out of this alive.
So you might as well
make up your mind to that.
So, enjoy yourself
while you can, now, then.
Have another toffee.
Good boy, good boy,
well done.
What's he doing?
What are you shooting at?
Just keeping them occupied.
Shooting?
Don't move!
Leave it!
- You...
- You don't remember me?
Go on then, blow my brains out.
- And get back from the shotguns.
- Why should I?
- You think I care what...
- Go on, get back from the guns.
Now, no one's going to hurt you.
No? Just take everything
and leave me to starve.
It's been tried.
Yeah.
Paul! Price! Barney!
Come on. It's all clear!
- Come mob-handed, have you?
- Oh, yeah.
Like the wolves down on the fold.
I'm sorry I didn't do a better job
fixing your legs.
But I'm not a doctor.
I was the one who got you out
from under the tractor.
Get down!
I thought he said it was all clear.
Get down!
Leave it!
Now, what the hell was that for?
You left me.
You left me to die like a pig
in my own filth.
You left me in agony.
You just took what you wanted
and left me.
I didn't take anything.
Why else would she leave?
I went to get some drugs for you.
And I met her on the road.
She told me that you were dead.
Why else would she leave me?
Well, maybe she thought you weren't
going to be able to provide for her
in a style to which
she'd become accustomed.
So she just left me to die.
Yes.
She just packed up her things.
Wouldn't look at me even.
Stuck-up bitch.
"What are you doing?" I said.
She wouldn't say nothing.
I remembered a man there.
It was you.
You'd got round her,
that's what I thought.
She wouldn't just leave me.
Well, she did.
She was a lovely girl.
Yeah, while you could
provide the goodies.
Yeah, I would have given her anything.
I mean, she was out of my class,
I know that.
Oh, she was in a class all by herself.
And she told you I was dead?
She told me you were dead.
She's still with you, is she?
Is she out there?
- Is she out there?
- No, she's not out there.
I haven't seen her
from that day to this.
- You expect me to believe that?
- Well, you'll just have to believe it.
Because it's the truth.
Can't even remember her name.
Anne.
Anne, her name was.
Anne Tranter.
Yeah, that's it.
So, no more funny business.
You can do what you like.
Paul! Come on, Paul.
Oh, yes.
Come on.
Come on, Barney boy.
Oh, I'd like to find her.
I would. I'd like to find her.
- I will find her.
- What for?
I've got something to live for now.
- What would you do if you found her?
- There is no "if".
I'm going to find her.
I'm going to devote the rest of my days
looking for that nicely-brought-up lady.
Do you know what pain is, real pain?
Day after day, month after month.
Forget it.
- Where's the rest of them?
- No, there aren't any others.
Just him? Wow.
Who's the cowboy?
Paul.
Sorry. I can't remember your name.
Yeah, I can't scarcely either.
It's been so long since anybody
called me anything.
Ha! Vic Thatcher.
Tom Price, that's me.
Now, I don't mind telling you,
you put up a good fight.
I'll be the first to admit that.
But, well, we got some good stuff here,
right, lads, huh?
What do you mean "we".
All this stuff belongs to him.
Right. Spoils of war, isn't it now?
No, there hasn't been a war.
No, we only came here because
we thought this place was unoccupied.
Ah, but... But we won, didn't we, see?
We won, see, boy.
You can take it. I can't stop you.
Listen, we're not taking anything.
- Not unless we take you, too.
- Take me?
A few us have got a small commune going
near Abercastle, about 40 miles away.
What do you mean, take me?
I'm all right where I am.
You're not going to be for long.
Listen, there are groups of
10, 20, 30 people
just scouring the countryside.
They're desperate for stuff like this.
You're the first people I've seen
in months.
I'm secluded here.
That's why we chose it.
She might not come back here, of course.
Not if she thinks there's
the slightest chance of you being alive.
But then she might. She's a greedy lady.
So, do you want to join us?
I'm not much use to you like this.
No, you're far too modest.
You've done really well for yourself.
Don't worry,
we'll find something for you to do.
All right. What about all my stuff?
Do you want to take it with you?
Well, our transport's pretty limited.
Can't take much of it with us this time.
What we would need, though,
is an inventory.
I've got one of those.
Thirty hundredweight of flour.
Two gross tins of ravioli.
What did we stop for?
Highway code.
At a major road, stop,
check that it's clear of
oncoming traffic before proceeding.
Oh, yeah.
You know, we could go
on a pig hunt tomorrow.
You can't farm land without pigs.
Yeah, pigs are a wonderful animal.
Oh, I was just thinking of something
my father used to say.
- What's that?
- "All beginnings are hard. "
That's not funny.
All we ever seem to do is begin.
You don't think that's funny?
Oh, funny as your sense of humour.
Have you finished, you two?
- Yes, Mrs Cohen.
- Yes, Mrs Cohen.
No. Aunt Emma.
- Yes, Aunt Emma.
- Yes, Aunt Emma.
All right. Then you can take
Barney's breakfast, hmm?
Here it is.
Do you call that finished?
Come on, young man.
To the last drop. Mmm, up, up, up.
That's it. Now, that's better.
Now, be careful.
Don't run and don't drop it, please.
Ooh, do you think we could have
a bone for Ben?
No, we can't have a bone for Ben
because there aren't any bones for Ben.
Look, all the bones we have
go to make soup.
Ben has to earn his own living
just like the rest of us.
Now, off you go, off. And be careful.
Oh! Be careful!
- Any more hot water?
- It won't be long now.
Oh, for some soap.
Right. Where do we start?
We can't just start anywhere.
Oh, I don't know.
Let's start over there, shall we?
- Right.
- All right, then.
Jenny, you go at the back
and lift the shares.
- This one?
- No, at the back.
- Oh.
- Okay?
- All right. Okay. Come on, then.
- All right, let's go on.
Come on, boy.
Come on, boy.
- All right.
- Can you go any faster?
- You all right?
- Yeah.
- Well, shall we give it a go about here?
- Yeah.
- All right, then, okay?
- Whoa, boy.
- Think he'll be all right?
- Yes, he'll eat.
All right.
Well, I'll come over here.
Now the other one.
There.
- All right?
- Yeah.
I'll lead, and you have a go.
All right. Come on then, boy.
All right, then. Now, then. All right?
- Go on.
- Come on, boy. Come on.
- Go.
- Come on. Come on, boy. Come.
- Come on, boy. Come.
- Go on.
Oh, no. Look, you better lead him, I...
I'll go behind, go on.
Oh.
- You think he can do it?
- I don't think he's big enough.
- Come on.
- Hang on.
You've just got to try very hard.
- Okay?
- The plough is falling.
- Hold on by the handles.
- Yeah, okay.
Come on, try.
- Come on.
- Come on, boy. Go on, boy.
Go on. Nearly. Go on, boy.
- Go on, boy.
- Come on.
- Oh.
- Oh, come on. Just try, please.
I don't think he will. He's too small.
- One more go.
- One more go. Go on.
- Come on, boy.
- Come.
Go on, boy. Go on.
Go on, go on.
You in the market for advice?
- Well, who are you?
- Paul.
- What are you doing here?
- Watching.
He ain't never gonna do it, you know.
Where do you come from?
- Does it matter?
- Have you been ill?
- Yeah. I've been ill.
This nag will never do.
He's a good pony.
Depends what you mean by "good",
doesn't it?
Good for what? Where did you get him?
- Nick him from a posh livery stable?
- No.
He was shut in a little field.
He was starving.
You've got a kind heart.
But he never worked in chains before.
Anyway, there's good grass.
What do want to plough it up for?
You have to plough it up, you know,
before you can plant anything.
You don't plant good pasture though,
do you?
What are you going to
feed your stock on?
You have got stock?
- We got some sheep, and a goat, and a...
- Jenny...
Look, you need help.
- Who says?
Now, look here, Mr...
- Paul.
- Very well. Paul...
How come you know so much about it?
- I've been at it a long time.
- Doing what?
We had this commune down Winchester.
Haven't you got any men here?
Okay, we'll try it now.
I don't know.
- It's turning over all right.
- Aye, but it's not catching, see.
I told you now, it's your jet, man.
You should have left it
where it was, man,
instead of wasting fuel,
dragging it up here, see.
Hello.
- Now, who's she now, then?
- He.
- Hard to tell though, isn't it?
Our own cream cheese.
Thanks.
Look, I don't want to butt in
where I'm not wanted
but I think I can offer you some advice.
We're in the market
for anything we can get.
- Including advice.
- Good.
- How much land have you got here?
- About 20 acres.
- And there are, what?
- Nine of us.
You should be laughing.
- Is it all pasture?
- There's a field of wheat.
There's one field's got cabbages in.
But they're only little ones.
Okay. Look,
I know what you are all thinking.
I mean, "What's this
long-haired git doing,
"coming here telling us what to do?
What does he know about it?"
Well, I can't help that.
I'm not here to criticise.
But I'm no good at tact.
I mean, I can't say you're doing
a grand job and all that crap.
You got one cow drying out,
a riding school hack,
six chickens and
a field full of spring cabbages.
- And some sheep, and a goat, and...
- Okay, okay.
But unless you get yourselves organised,
you're wasting your time.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, really.
You see, there's no use ploughing up
any old bit of land
and saying, "Oh, we'll grow this here
and that there. "
There's a whole cycle.
You've got to become part of it.
You got to be planning two years ahead
all the time.
And rotate your crop,
so you never get a bit of land
idle or shagged out.
First, livestock.
You need two good horses.
Old work horses like Suffolks or
Clydesdales, if you can get them.
But that's unlikely.
But at least something
you can get used to pulling a plough.
Yeah, well, you may not have noticed it,
but we do happen to have a tractor.
How long you've been tinkering with it?
Trying to get it going?
- A week.
- No, no, felt like. We've had it a week.
But we've only been working on it
a couple of days, see.
Three days.
In three days with two horses
you could have ploughed six acres.
Aye. But wait till
we get the tractor going.
Sure. You'll do five acres a day. Easy.
But what about when you're held up
because you got to scour the countryside
looking for a spare part?
And when you're going further
and further afield,
trying to find diesel?
Well, you talk as if
nothing will never get back to normal.
And you're talking as if everything's
going to get back to
what you call "normal" by Christmas.
Well, maybe it will.
I mean, we don't know that, do we?
I mean, I met a fellow in
the station wagon the other day,
piled high with tins and bottles
and things.
And he said somebody he'd met
had heard the Japs
had found a new vaccine.
And I suppose he swam all the way
across the Pacific just to tell us.
Look, you may be right. I don't know.
All I know is, you got to work
on the assumption that you're wrong.
That it's never going to change. Never.
Pessimist. That's what you are.
Pessimist.
Doom merchant.
Yes, well, we all know that.
So what do you suggest we do?
What are you ploughing for?
- What are you aiming to plant?
- Potatoes.
You got seed potatoes?
Yeah. Well, I found this clump, see,
a fortnight ago when we came here.
That's not seed potato.
- You want seed potatoes?
- Well, what's the difference then?
You want shoots.
You put some aside when you lift them,
you stack them on end
with the eyes on top and they sprout.
You won't get anything
out of them.
Let's have a look
at this tractor of yours.
Right. I'll show you, follow me.
You know,
he could be very useful.
Mmm, if a trifle depressing.
- Do you think he'll fix the tractor?
- No, not a chance.
Not without the spares.
- Well, that's that, then.
- No spuds.
Just a minute. The tractor.
- What about it?
- Well, at the quarry.
- What?
- Well, they had potatoes there.
I mean, they had everything,
they even had yeast.
- What are you talking about?
- Can you remember the day I met you,
when I was collecting that stuff
from the chemist's shop?
With that girl...
Yeah, well, they've got
all that stuff together.
I mean, it might still be there.
- Well, she may have gone back there.
- No, no, not with the chap dead.
Well, it was three or four months ago.
Now, do you two mind telling me
whatever all this is about?
Oh, we told you at the church.
Don't you remember?
This couple had
gone methodically around the country,
scouring, looking for provisions.
They got it all stored away
in a quarry near Abercastle.
Then the man had an accident
with a tractor and died.
Oh, yes, I remember.
You picked her up and
she wandered off on her own.
They'd got a fantastic amount together.
Well, do you think
it still might be there?
Well, it could be. It was well hidden.
Well, I wish you'd
remembered it earlier.
It just never occurred to me.
Well, it's a bit outside our radius
even now.
Now, just you stick to
the route I've marked, all right?
- Yeah.
- And no shortcuts.
In that case if anything goes wrong,
at least I'm going to know
which road you're on.
Right-ho, now, then.
Don't worry about us, boy.
Yeah.
Is he all right with that gun?
Who, Barney?
Well, I'll tell you now, boy,
he may not be much in the head,
but he's a lovely shot,
and careful, too.
I taught him that, see.
Isn't that right, Barney?
Isn't that right, Barney?
- My sheep.
- Yeah, well, don't you worry
about your sheep, Barney.
We'll look after them.
Get inside now, my Barney boy.
I'll be with you now in a minute.
That's a good boy.
We're pals, see, him and me.
Well, he's more like a pet, really, see.
Yeah, well, don't try and get
too much this trip.
And see if you can get an inventory,
as complete as you can.
We'll go and we'll be back before dark.
Yes. And mind how you go.
And leave the booze alone!
It's been planted as a lea .
Look, you're gonna need
three tonnes of hay next winter.
If I was you, I'd fence off
about an acre and a half,
the other end for that.
The rest of it will plough quite easy.
Just plough all this in.
Well, you can use it for grazing,
but that's about all.
- Why?
- Drainage.
But surely it's well-drained
with the stream here.
Just the opposite.
All the water from the rest of the land
just swamps down through the field
to the stream.
If the stream was on top
and running at right angles,
you'd be well-drained.
You can dig a ditch over there later on.
Might help.
I'd never have thought of that,
would you?
Yeah, well, he seems to know
what he's talking about.
Oh, come on, Greg.
You're not having your harem challenged,
you know.
I got away with one of my kids.
But she took ill near Petworth.
I couldn't do nothing for her.
She was a terror, she was.
I found a church and buried her.
I just sat there beside her for...
I don't know.
Days.
Still, you've all been through it.
I'll kill that Tom Price.
- No sign?
- No.
No, I know him, he's broken open
the booze and got drunk.
They won't be back tonight now.
I hope nothing's happened to them.
Where were you going
when you came across us, Mr...
Just Paul.
I don't know, really.
I came out first off looking for my dad.
- You been in London?
- No.
Don't.
He worked at King's Cross
on the railway.
Anyway, I couldn't find him.
His flat was all tidy
but he wasn't in it.
I was lucky to get out alive.
There's snipers everywhere,
waiting to pick off
anything they see moving
for a gold filling or a packet of fags.
There they are. Listen.
Damn fools! Travelling at night.
Now, grab your coats
and come give me a hand.
No, you stay here, children,
and finish your supper. Please.
- That doesn't look like the van.
Perhaps they found another.
It isn't a van,
it's a Land Rover.
Jenny, go and get a gun, quick.
Paul, you stand by the lights
of the bus.
All right! Now, who are you?
Now, turn your lights off
and come out with your hands up!
Paul!
Don't shoot me!
I'm sorry. I hoped you'd be friendly.
Well, we may be.
What are you doing here?
I was just looking for somewhere
to park for the night.
I saw your lights.
You make it a habit of driving around
at night?
No. In fact, I got quite panicky
when it started to get dark,
but we just couldn't find
anywhere secluded.
We?
- Mr Russell and I.
I'm Charmian Wentworth.
Do you think I can move out
of those lights now?
They're rather dazzling.
Yeah, sure. Go on.
- Well, where is this Mr Russell?
- Oh, he's asleep.
At least I hope he's asleep.
I hope we haven't disturbed him.
- You're not ill, are you?
- Ill? No.
Oh. No, we haven't got the Death,
if that's what you mean.
Mr Russell had it,
but he's quite recovered now.
What's he asleep for, then?
And you driving him round?
Well, he's my... I'm his secretary.
- You're kidding.
- What do you mean?
I'm his secretary,
I've been his secretary since...
- He's "the" Mr Russell.
- Oh, "the" Mr Russell.
I'm sorry, Mr Arthur Russell,
of Russell Investments.
Taebo Unit Trusts,
Anglo-Russell Properties...
He has an island off the coast of
Argyllshire. That's where we're going.
An island?
Like with people?
Surfs, vassals and such like?
Oh, no.
There's only one tiny house there.
Oh, dear. He's awake.
What's all this about?
I was just stopping for the night,
Mr Russell.
Oh, yes.
Well, you'd better get some sleep, then.
Good evening.
- Has he gone back to bed?
- Oh, I expect so.
He does so hate to be disturbed.
That's why I didn't want to...
Isn't he marvellous?
Oh, no. No, I don't... Really. Oh, dear.
This is our land you're parked on,
and we expect a certain standard
of courtesy.
'Cause otherwise we're inclined to
throw people off it.
This island of yours may be
more inhabited than you expect.
Don't you think a lot of other people
have exactly the same idea?
Possibly. But it is my island,
I have a legal title to it.
Whose law? Legal title is
whatever you lay your hands on now.
Yes, but I don't think
anybody would want it,
it's quite barren.
How are you gonna live then?
Well, it is of course
surrounded by fish.
And I suppose Mrs Wentworth
will be doing the fishing for you.
Are you being deliberately offensive,
young man?
Or is this an example of
your standard of courtesy?
I don't know about him being offensive,
I haven't known him long enough.
But it seems to me that
for a successful businessman,
you don't seem to be showing
much foresight.
It's all right.
We have fixed up a room for you.
I hope you wouldn't mind sharing.
If that's all right.
Won't you join us in a drink, Mrs Cohen?
Oh, no, no, thank you very much.
- You, Miss...
- Well, thank you.
- No, dear.
- No, thank you.
You're not short of it.
Not for the moment.
- Charmian?
- Yes, Mr Russell?
Perhaps we'll stay on here a day or two.
- You could do with a rest.
- Yes.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
Come along, you two.
I've got a lot to do
with two more mouths to feed.
And take this out to Wendy, please.
Why is Wendy looking after the sheep?
'Cause Barney's not back yet.
- Where is Barney?
- With Tom.
- Where's Tom?
- Oh, off you go.
- Wendy wants her breakfast, off!
- Come on.
Come on, Lizzie.
- Hey, careful. Careful.
Wouldn't you give them
just one more hour?
No, no. They've had time enough.
Even if they waited
until it was daylight,
they should have been back hours ago.
I didn't think we'd need a caravan.
No, fine.
- Who's driving?
- I'll drive. How are we for gas?
There's enough.
Greg, you will take care.
You'll be leaving us pretty depleted
if anything happens to you.
No, don't worry. Nor you.
We'll be back soon.
Probably with a hungover Tom Price.
Yes, well, I hope that's all it is.
Good luck.
Some sort of expedition?
- Yes.
- Going far, are they?
I do hope you don't mind us
borrowing your Land Rover.
But you did say you'd like to stay
for a couple of days.
Yes, thank you.
Yes, well, if I were you,
I'd get your things out of the caravan.
I loathe arrogance in a woman.
Oh, dear. Is something wrong?
- This Grant person.
- Well, what's the matter?
Well, I may be old-fashioned
but bossy women all seem to me
to have no femininity.
- I know.
- And taking the Land Rover like that,
- high-handed in the extreme.
- The Land Rover?
Yes, they just drove off in it.
To search for somebody
without so much as a by your leave.
- I think they're very worried.
- Of course they're worried.
There's no excuse
for that sort of behaviour.
I loathe bad manners.
Perhaps you'd like to move on.
Without the Land Rover?
Well,
surely it's not gone for good.
No. No, I'll give them
a little more rope.
- I'll watch how things go.
- Right.
Well, don't run away.
I was just going to see
if I could be of any use.
To whom?
Mr Russell, I think
these people need us.
- Oh, do you?
- Yes.
Perhaps more than we need them.
Charmian, I think for the time being
it might be a good idea
not to mention the little
we bought with us.
I wasn't thinking
of the food and drink.
I was thinking of us.
In what way? How could they need us?
Well, there's such a lot to do.
They're not living out of tins,
you know.
I don't really see myself
as a very good farm labourer.
But you are a brilliant administrator,
Mr Russell.
I'm sure they'll find that very useful.
Charmian, do you think
in the circumstances
we might try to be a little less formal?
After all, we do know now
that my name is Arthur.
Why, thank you, Mr...
Thank you, Arthur. I'll do my best.
You always do, my dear.
Oh, the Abby woman suggested
we might like to bring
our things inside, from the caravan.
Oh, well,
perhaps you'd let me have the key.
Well, if we do it,
we'll do it in our own time.
Well, there's quite a lot to move.
Yeah, we'll leave it till later
and I'll give you a hand.
Thank you, but we shouldn't
leave it too late, you know.
Yeah, I suppose not.
Shouldn't we offer them food?
What happens if we decide to move on?
Well, surely they'd let us have it back.
Possibly, my dear,
but I'd rather avoid any embarrassment.
- Looks pretty desolate.
- Yeah.
Not much been around here.
Well, except Tom Price, we hope.
There's the van.
- Yeah, but where the hell are they?
What did they stop for?
The puncture?
Get back!
- Well, that answered your question.
- Can you reverse out?
- Like a shot,
if you'll forgive the expression.
- Who was it shouted?
- Oh, I don't know.
Could have been Tom Price.
Did you see where the shot came from?
No. But if it wasn't from the van,
it must have been
somewhere around that hut.
Yeah, well,
there's nothing for it, I suppose.
We'll have to go and have a look.
I'm not very good with these things.
Yeah, well, now's the time to learn.
Come on.
We'll have to go further on up. Come on.
For God's sake, keep your head down.
It's a bit hard on the elbows,
as the Bishop said.
Sorry.
So where the hell are they?
They're not still in the van, I suppose.
There they are.
Price! Price!
Up here!
Where the hell have you been?
How many of them are there?
About three or four I think.
We can't move neither way.
They shot our tyres out
as soon as we appeared.
Every time we make a move, they shoot.
- You can't have been there all night.
Well, we have.
You could have got out when it was dark.
You must be joking.
With the moon last night,
it was as light as day, man.
Well, where are your guns?
In the van. And my fags.
I've been dying for a smoke.
Well, listen, we just get out of here.
Now, is it just the tyres
of the van they got?
Yeah, I think so.
You haven't got any fags on you,
have you?
- No.
- Oh.
How about a white flag
and a dignified retreat?
Well, I don't see how else
we're going to get them out of there.
Have you got a handkerchief down there?
A handkerchief?
- To make a white flag with!
Well, I got a handkerchief,
but, I don't know about white, though.
You've been cleaning the tractor
with that.
But it'll have to do.
I need a stick to put it on.
Well,
isn't there anything down there?
- No.
- Yes, there is.
Down to your right.
It's only a few feet along.
What, there?
He'll take a pot at me if I go for that.
Barney boy, you be a good boy
and go and get it for me.
Wait a minute. You get it.
No, no, he's quicker than me, see.
- Be less of a target, like.
- You get it!
Oh, all right.
Stay here, Barney boy, look out for me.
Get on with it, Price!
Dear, dear, Barney,
that was close now, wasn't it?
Well, well...
- It's funny though.
- What's funny about it?
It was the same last time,
one rifle shot,
then a lot of shotguns going off.
Well, perhaps they just take their cue
from a leader.
They're not so good though,
the rest of them.
Look at the van.
Shall I wave it about at them?
Well, so much for the Geneva Convention.
I'm not doing that again, man.
They got no respect, man.
I didn't see where
the rifle shot came from.
But the shotguns are
poked out along the wall.
Look, there's one just below that poster
or whatever it is.
- See that black square?
- Yes.
Another one just along to the right
about six feet, and so on.
Yeah, it's not much of a help though,
is it?
I don't know.
Wonder if the other side's
as well protected.
I tell you, boy.
They're animals, they are.
I mean, you respect the flag of truce,
don't you, man?
Well, well...
Yeah, well, it's worth having a look.
You keep them busy here.
I'm going to have a go round the back.
Just give me a couple of minutes
and then take the occasional pot shot
in their direction.
Barney boy, we're not going to
get out of this alive.
So you might as well
make up your mind to that.
So, enjoy yourself
while you can, now, then.
Have another toffee.
Good boy, good boy,
well done.
What's he doing?
What are you shooting at?
Just keeping them occupied.
Shooting?
Don't move!
Leave it!
- You...
- You don't remember me?
Go on then, blow my brains out.
- And get back from the shotguns.
- Why should I?
- You think I care what...
- Go on, get back from the guns.
Now, no one's going to hurt you.
No? Just take everything
and leave me to starve.
It's been tried.
Yeah.
Paul! Price! Barney!
Come on. It's all clear!
- Come mob-handed, have you?
- Oh, yeah.
Like the wolves down on the fold.
I'm sorry I didn't do a better job
fixing your legs.
But I'm not a doctor.
I was the one who got you out
from under the tractor.
Get down!
I thought he said it was all clear.
Get down!
Leave it!
Now, what the hell was that for?
You left me.
You left me to die like a pig
in my own filth.
You left me in agony.
You just took what you wanted
and left me.
I didn't take anything.
Why else would she leave?
I went to get some drugs for you.
And I met her on the road.
She told me that you were dead.
Why else would she leave me?
Well, maybe she thought you weren't
going to be able to provide for her
in a style to which
she'd become accustomed.
So she just left me to die.
Yes.
She just packed up her things.
Wouldn't look at me even.
Stuck-up bitch.
"What are you doing?" I said.
She wouldn't say nothing.
I remembered a man there.
It was you.
You'd got round her,
that's what I thought.
She wouldn't just leave me.
Well, she did.
She was a lovely girl.
Yeah, while you could
provide the goodies.
Yeah, I would have given her anything.
I mean, she was out of my class,
I know that.
Oh, she was in a class all by herself.
And she told you I was dead?
She told me you were dead.
She's still with you, is she?
Is she out there?
- Is she out there?
- No, she's not out there.
I haven't seen her
from that day to this.
- You expect me to believe that?
- Well, you'll just have to believe it.
Because it's the truth.
Can't even remember her name.
Anne.
Anne, her name was.
Anne Tranter.
Yeah, that's it.
So, no more funny business.
You can do what you like.
Paul! Come on, Paul.
Oh, yes.
Come on.
Come on, Barney boy.
Oh, I'd like to find her.
I would. I'd like to find her.
- I will find her.
- What for?
I've got something to live for now.
- What would you do if you found her?
- There is no "if".
I'm going to find her.
I'm going to devote the rest of my days
looking for that nicely-brought-up lady.
Do you know what pain is, real pain?
Day after day, month after month.
Forget it.
- Where's the rest of them?
- No, there aren't any others.
Just him? Wow.
Who's the cowboy?
Paul.
Sorry. I can't remember your name.
Yeah, I can't scarcely either.
It's been so long since anybody
called me anything.
Ha! Vic Thatcher.
Tom Price, that's me.
Now, I don't mind telling you,
you put up a good fight.
I'll be the first to admit that.
But, well, we got some good stuff here,
right, lads, huh?
What do you mean "we".
All this stuff belongs to him.
Right. Spoils of war, isn't it now?
No, there hasn't been a war.
No, we only came here because
we thought this place was unoccupied.
Ah, but... But we won, didn't we, see?
We won, see, boy.
You can take it. I can't stop you.
Listen, we're not taking anything.
- Not unless we take you, too.
- Take me?
A few us have got a small commune going
near Abercastle, about 40 miles away.
What do you mean, take me?
I'm all right where I am.
You're not going to be for long.
Listen, there are groups of
10, 20, 30 people
just scouring the countryside.
They're desperate for stuff like this.
You're the first people I've seen
in months.
I'm secluded here.
That's why we chose it.
She might not come back here, of course.
Not if she thinks there's
the slightest chance of you being alive.
But then she might. She's a greedy lady.
So, do you want to join us?
I'm not much use to you like this.
No, you're far too modest.
You've done really well for yourself.
Don't worry,
we'll find something for you to do.
All right. What about all my stuff?
Do you want to take it with you?
Well, our transport's pretty limited.
Can't take much of it with us this time.
What we would need, though,
is an inventory.
I've got one of those.
Thirty hundredweight of flour.
Two gross tins of ravioli.
What did we stop for?
Highway code.
At a major road, stop,
check that it's clear of
oncoming traffic before proceeding.
Oh, yeah.
You know, we could go
on a pig hunt tomorrow.
You can't farm land without pigs.
Yeah, pigs are a wonderful animal.