Supernatural (2005–…): Season 8, Episode 2 - What's Up, Tiger Mommy? - full transcript

Where's the road?

You're freakin' alive.

What the hell happened?

Standing too close
to exploding Dick

sends your ass
straight to Purgatory.

You were in Purgatory?

Well,
how'd you get out?

What, no thanks
for saving your hide?

I got something
you need.

- Yeah, what's that?
- A way out.

What's in it for you?



I'm hopping a ride.

We made it, brother.
I can't believe it.

You and me both.

What about Cass?
Was he there?

Yeah,
Cass didn't make it.

Cass, I think
we better g--

Cass?

So Cass is dead?
You saw him die?

I saw enough.

I don't want to be a prophet.

He was
our responsibility.

And you didn't answer
the damn phone.

Let's find him.

The King of Hell just
snapped my girlfriend's neck.



Crowley kidnapped you.
I saw that.

Then you escaped.

How?

It was a tablet.

There's another tablet?

Did this tablet
have a name?

"Demons."

What about demons?

Banish all demons
off the face of the Earth,

lock them away
forever.

So sorry to have kept
you waiting, Mr. Vili.

It's just...it's been so long
since you checked in with us.

We had to dig
through our archives.

Don't worry about me,
dear.

I've got plenty of time.

Which box is it again?

One.

I'm...sorry.

Did you say one,
as in box number one?

If memory serves.

During
our last renovation,

we had to replace
the safe boxes,

and we put yours
inside a new one.

Ah...

I'm...sorry, sir,
but...is that a bone?

Not just any bone,
my dear.

An extremely valuable one.

Well, I'm happy we were able
to keep it safe for you

all these years.
Hmm.

Is there anything else
I can help you with today?

Why, yes,
now that I think about it.

I'd like to make
a withdrawal.

♪ Supernatural 8x02 ♪
What's Up, Tiger Mommy?
Original Air Date on October 10, 2012

Are you kidding me?

You're kidding me.

What?

Is it too much to ask if we can
swing by and check on my mom?

"Swing by"?

It's a day's drive
in the opposite direction.

You know that, right?

Yes. I understand
we're in a hurry.

Okay, well,
then, what's the problem?

Channing's broken neck
is my problem!

As in I'd rather not see my mom
twisted into a corkscrew.

- Kid's got a point, Dean.
- Stay out of this.

Kevin, your mom is fine.

How can you
possibly know that?

Because Crowley needs her to be,
okay?

In fact,
he's probably got

the place stacked
with bodyguards right now,

protecting her
so that when you do show up,

they'll pounce on you both.

Is that supposed to make me
feel better?

She's bait, man,
plain and simple.

And you want to swim right up
and bite the hook?

Look, we have got Crowley
by the short and curlies, okay?

All we need to do is find
the tablet, whip up the spell,

and -- boom! --
Sunshine and Sandy beaches.

Dean,
my mom's all alone.

She's surrounded by demons.

Can you
really not understand

why I want to make sure
she's okay?

Son of a bitch.

Fine. Let's go.

Tiger mom, 9:00.

Where?

Left window.

She seems okay.

Sad...but okay.

Check out the mailman.

Yeah, that's Carl.

So what?

Yeah, well, Carl's filled
your mom's mailbox

three times
since we've been sitting here.

He's a demon?

And see the gardener?

Think that plant
needs any more water?

He'll be back.
You just have to believe.

Thanks, Eunis.

And I do believe.

I just...
wish I could do more.

Linda, you're doing
all you should by staying here.

He needs to know he has a home
to come back to.

Hi, Mom.

Oh!

Kev-- Kevin!

Ah -- oh! Oh!

What...

She's clean.

Do you smell that?

Et secta diabolica,
omnis congregatio, omnis legio,

omnis incursio
infernalis adversarii,

omnis spiritus exorcizamus!

Aah!

Eunis!

That's not Eunis.

Mrs. Tran, your friend
was possessed by a demon.

Have you ever seen
"The Exorcist"?

Is that what you've been doing
all year --

watching television?

Did you
really have to kill her?

The demon would have warned
Crowley where Kevin was

if we didn't.

And Crowley is the one
who kidnapped you?

Yeah. He needs me to translate
his stupid tablet

so he can take over the universe
or something.

Which is why
we need to get it

so that we can slam
the gates of Hell forever

with Crowley inside.

So that things like that
don't ever happen again.

Prophet of the Lord,
huh?

It does have
a nice ring to it.

I'll get packed.

We're gonna need
a safe house

since Crowley's been
to the cabin, so --

Safe house?

I thought we were going
to get the tablet.

Uh, we are.

You're taking a trip
to a demon-free zone.

And risk letting Kevin

fall into the hands
of this Crowley again?

I don't think so.

Ms. Tran, all due respect,
Dean's right.

Crowley --
he's not just a killer.

He trades in torment.

And if he can find a way
to separate your soul from you,

he'll take that soul to hell
and -- and roast it

till there's nothing left
but black smoke.

Look, it's best
if you let us handle this.

I understand.

But it's not my soul
I'm worried about.

It's my son's.

Kevin,
you want to back us up here?

Came all the way down here
to pull her out of the fire.

Now she wants to jump
right back in.

Like I can tell her
what to do?

All right. Coming with us
has conditions --

uh, hex bags
to stay off the bad guys' radar

and, uh, you're gonna have to
get inked up.

Do what, now?

Yeah, uh...

...you, too, shortstop.

Keeps the demons out.

Fine.

Really?

What,
like it's my first tattoo?

[ The Reverend Horton Heat's
"The Devil's Chasing Me" plays ]

♪ black clouds in the east ♪

♪ the devil's chasing me ♪

You smell it, Sammy?

Burning flesh?

Revenge. So close.

Hey, how'd you do
that reverse-exorcism thing?

Just said the verse
backwards.

♪ The devil's chasing me ♪

So, place is clean,
far as I can tell.

All right.
Positive thoughts.

You hid the word of God
in a diaper bag?

No.

Shut up.

Been nothing but trouble
with these lockers.

Got broke into damn near
every day for a while.

Could never figure out
who it was till yesterday.

Oh, so you know who did it?
Sure.

Was Clem Smedley, a guy
who worked the desk before me.

Please tell me
he's down at county right now.

Yep,
waiting for arraignment.

Thanks.

Should have known they'd plant
a LoJack in one of them bags.

Sharp guy, that Jerry.

He'll be a fine replacement
for me.

Right.

Well, in one of those lockers,
there was a tablet.

Do you know where it is?

Can I even acknowledge that
without my lawyer here?

Uh, look,

I'm sure we can work out

a little, uh,
something-something

with the locals
if you just cooperate.

What kind of
something-something?

I don't think he knows,
man.

Leniency?

Oh, he knows.

Where's the angel?

So,
here's what I'm thinking --

full immunity
from all charges,

both past, present,
and future.

Hey.

Dean. Come on.

You feel that?

There's a stream.

Go on.

It runs through a clearing
not far from here.

I'll show you.

How about
you just tell me?

Hey.

Dean!

Pawn shop,
First and Main.

Go on.

Three days' journey.

Follow the stream.

There's a clearing.

You'll find your angel
there.

You know what, Mutt?

I believe you.

Dean?

Come on.

Whoa.

Hey.

Hello, sir.
Agents Neil and Sixx, FBI.

Uh,
we're looking for a tablet.

About, uh, yea big, got some
hieroglyphic crap on it.

Sold to you
by a thief named Clem.

- Ring a bell?
- Nope.

Hey, Lyle, I've had a really,
really bad day today,

so I'm not in the mood
to dillydally.

If you want to do this the rough
way, I am happy to oblige.

Sure.

We can do it that way,
if you want to get famous.

That your car outside?

What's it to you,
mail-order?

Hey, pal!

I got it.

I notice you're driving
with expired tags,

maybe because
you just acquired it in a trade,

and I'm guessing that means
you haven't registered it yet,

which means
you haven't paid the tax.

Is that correct?

None of your business.

Kevin, average blue book
on a 2010 Ferrari F430 Spider?

$217,000.

And the 5% Wyoming tax?

$10,850.

$10,000.

Something tells me

you're the type who might balk
at a tax bill that big.

W-what is this,
an FBI audit?

No. But my brother,

who happens to work for the
Wyoming tax assessor's office

could arrange that

if he thought something untoward
was happening here.

So what's it going to be --

the tablet or that piece of
eurotrash crap you call a car?

Sure this is
the right place?

It's what
the pawn slip says.

Kevin?

Who wants to know?

Oh, relax, Dean.

I'm not going to steal
your Prophet.

Ah. And you must be
Kevin's mother.

Um...Beau.

And it is
my absolute pleasure.

And, um, Kevin.

Imagine my luck.

Here I was,
working so hard looking for you

that I never stopped to think
you might be looking for me.

I have something for you.

What is it?

An invitation, dear man,
to a very exclusive auction.

Let me guess -- where you'll be
selling the tablet?

Well, when we acquire an item
as hot as the word of God,

it's smart to unload it
as fast as possible.

And we are
in such desperate need

of a headliner
for tonight's gala.

Well, I hope you have

three extra tickets
to your little eBay party,

'cause the Prophet's
with us.

Oh, if you're worried
about the safety of the Prophet,

rest assured that we have a
strict "no casting, no cursing,

"no supernaturally flicking
the two of you against the wall

just for the fun of it"
policy.

Is that right?
How'd you manage that?

Well, I am the right hand
of a God, after all --

Plutus, specifically.

Is that even a planet
anymore?

It's the God of greed.

And my liege has warded
these premises

against hell, heaven,
and beyond --

quite necessary
with some of the players we see.

And incidentally,

quite possibly the safest place
your precious Prophet could be.

Mm. Well, since time
is of the essence,

perhaps I'll just go ahead
and add a plus-three

to the Prophet's invitation.

Copacetic?

Well,
thank you, Mr. Peanut!

All right.

What do we have to bid?

What? We can't just show up
there empty-handed.

Dean, all we have to our names
is a few hacked gold cards.

All right. Well, then, we're
gonna have to get creative.

Huh.

Well...

No. Mnh-mnh.

Say it
and I will kill you,

your children,
and your grandchildren.

Okay, okay. Uh...

Wait a second.

They -- these auctions --
they display the items

to the bidders beforehand,
right?

Yeah, so?

So all we got to do

is get Kevin close enough
to memorize the spell.

What do you think,
brainiac?

Think you can swing it?

Of course he can swing it...

if the bumper stickers
on my Previa mean anything.

They didn't mean it,
baby.

Now, now, Dean.

The system only works
when everyone participates.

I'll be back for this.

How the hell are we
supposed to know who's who?

It's pretty simple, Dean.
They're all monsters.

Hey, hey.

Great.

I guess we're not as original
as we thought.

It's okay. It's okay.

We just got to come up
with a plan "B."

And what, pray tell, could
possibly have been plan "A"?

Bring the Prophet

to the most dangerous place
on Earth,

memorize the tablet,
and then va-moose?

Hello, boys.

Crowley.

Kevin.

What a pleasure
to see you.

Sorry about
your little playdate.

Her name?

Ah.

Well, if you're gonna make
an omelet,

sometimes you have to break
some spines.

And who is this
lovely young thing?

Must be your sister.

Aah!

Stay away from my son.

Charming.

Defiling her corpse

has just made number one
on my to-do list.

Unh, unh, unh, unh.

Don't mind a little love tap,
but anything more,

and our mookie pals here
may just throw you out,

and that would be a shame.

He's right, Dean.
It's not worth it.

Listen to moose,
squirrel.

Ah.
Here comes our host.

Honored guests,
please take your seats.

That's Plutus?

What is he,
God of the candy aisle?

Gentlemen,
the auction is starting.

Good luck
with the bidding.

Nice right hook.

Dean Winchester?

Do I know you?

Uh, no,
but, uh, I knew Castiel.

You're an angel?

This -- this was the nearest
vessel on short notice.

We don't usually come to things
like this, but, uh...

You're chasing the magic rock?
We protect the word of God.

Well, awesome job so far,
uh...Alfie.

Actually,
my name is Samandriel.

Let's just stick
with Alfie.

I wanted to ask you
about Castiel.

What happened to him?

Well, me and Cass -- we, uh --
we iced Dick Roman

and got a one-way rocket ride
to Purgatory for our trouble.

But you escaped.
Did -- did Castiel?

You know, there are some
in heaven who still believe,

despite his mistakes,

that Castiel's heart
was always in the right place.

Are you one of them?

I think too much heart
was always Castiel's problem.

Cass!

Dean.

Cass?

Damn,
it's good to see you.

Nice peach fuzz.

Thank you.

You should meet somebody.
This is Benny.

Benny, this is Cass.

Hola.

How did you find me?

The bloody way.

You feeling okay?

You mean am I still...

Yeah, if you want to be
on the nose about it, sure.

No. I'm perfectly sane.

But, then, 94% of psychotics
think they're perfectly sane,

so I guess we'd have to ask
ourselves, "what is sane?"

That's a good question.

- Why'd you bail on Dean?
Dude --

the way I hear it,
you two hit monster land,

and hot wings here
took off.

I figure he owes you
some backstory.

Look, we were surrounded,
okay?

Some freak jumped Cass.

Obviously, he kicked its ass,
right?

No.

What?

I ran away.

You ran away?

I had to.

That's your excuse for leaving
me with those gorilla-wolves?

Dean --

you bailed out and, what,
went camping?

I prayed to you, Cass,
every night.

I know.

You know
and you didn't...

What the hell's
wrong with you?

I am an angel
in a land of abominations.

There have been things hunting
me from the moment we arrived.

Join the club!

These are not just monsters,
Dean. They're Leviathan.

I have a price
on my head,

and I've been trying to stay
one step ahead of them, to --

to keep them
away from you.

That's why I ran.

Just leave me, please.

Sounds like a plan.
Let's roll.

Hold on, hold on.

Cass,
we're getting out of here.

We're going home.

Dean, I can't.

You can.

Benny, tell him.

Purgatory has
an escape hatch,

but I got no idea
if it's angel-friendly.

We'll figure it out.

Cass, buddy, I need you.

Dean...

And if Leviathan want to take
a shot at us, let them.

We ganked those bitches
once before.

We can do it again.

It's too dangerous.

Let me bottom-line it
for you.

I'm not leaving here
without you.

Understand?

I understand.

Ladies, gentlemen,
and...other,

welcome to this
once-in-a-lifetime event.

Samandriel.

Slumming it, are we?

The first name in magical
and alchemical esoterica.

Our prices may be high,

but our quality is unmatched,
and we stand by our products.

Don't know why you're so keen
on that hunk of dirt.

So it tells you
how to blast back a few demons?

I'll just make more.

Can't get rid of all
of my black-eyed boys, Samantha.

Yeah, we'll see.

And across the plane...

All right. So, how much we got
for plan "B"?

Uh, well, we got
our hacked credit cards,

$2,000,
and a, uh, Costco membership.

Our first item,
the amulet of Hesperus.

Let's start the bidding with,
um, three tons of dwarven gold?

Ah. This lady.

I have three.
Do I have, uh, four?

Ah. Four, gentlemen here.

Four. Going for five.

Five?

Five to this lady.

Plan "C"?

Big time.

Any other bids? Any other bids?

I'm gonna use the restroom.

Sold.

Oh, sorry.

This isn't
the men's room.

Okay.

Our next item up for bid,
the hammer of Thor, Mjoelnir.

A finger bone
from the frost giant Ymir.

Uh...the bone and,
uh, 5/8 of a virgin.

Ah. Sold.

Plan "C" tanked.

Maybe you should try plan "D"
for dumbass.

Our next lot,
the word of God, capital "G" --

very old, very rare.

$3 billion.

Whoa. Whoa.

The "Mona Lisa."

The real "Mona Lisa,"
where she's topless.

Vatican City.

Alaska.

Palin
and a bridge to nowhere?

No, thanks.

All right. The moon.

You're bidding
the moon?

Yeah.
Claimed it for hell.

Think a man named Buzz
gets to go into space

without making a deal?

Ah. I'm sorry, gentlemen.

It seems that our reserve price
has not been met.

So in order to stimulate
the bidding,

we're going to add an item
to this lot --

Kevin Tran,
Prophet of the Lord.

No!

Mr. Tran is the only person on
Earth who can read this tablet,

which makes them
a perfect matching set.

So out of your league.

So,
do I hear a bid of --

No, stop!

I'll give you
whatever you want.

I have a 401, my house.

Good effort, Ms. Tran,
but I'm afraid

this is a little out
of your price range.

My soul.

Mom, don't!

I bid my soul!

Are you sure?
That's a big move.

Interesting.

If it's souls
that you're after,

I can give you
a million souls.

Hey, flyboy,
are you gonna get in on this?

We guard the souls in heaven.
We don't horse-trade them.

So we have a deal.

It's not about the quantity,
chief.

It's about the sacrifice.

This little lady's soul is
the most valuable thing she has.

It's everything.

Are you willing to offer
everything, Mr. Crowley?

Tick-tock.

Fine. You win.

I bid...

My own soul!

Mr. Crowley,
you don't have a soul.

Congrats, sweetheart.

Thank you. Thank you.

Losing my soul --
is it going to hurt?

Probably.

Will I die?

No. You'll just wish
you were dead.

Okay.

It's time.

You all right?

Yeah.

Can I --
can I just have a minute?

Dean, this sucks.

Are you kidding me?

We're about to close
the gates of Hell forever.

If you ask me,
we got off cheap.

Excuse me, miss.

Hi.
My name is Sam-- Alfie.

I'm an angel.

Who works at Wiener Hut?

No. This is, uh --
it doesn't matter.

Uh, what you did in here
was amazing,

and I want you to know

that my friends and I
can protect your son.

The Winchesters are
exceptional men,

but...they're just men.

If Kevin comes with us --

Oh, no, no.

The last time that angels
tried to help my son,

I watched them die, and Kevin
went missing for a year.

So, no offense, but I'm gonna
take my chances with them.

Mjoelnir,
I've missed you.

Where's the kid?

What are you gonna do
with her soul?

Whatever I want.

I might sell it,

or maybe I'll just tuck it away
with my other precious objects,

let them keep me warm
at night.

Mm.

Whenever you're ready,
dear.

Wait!

Hello, boys.

Crowley.

No. You can't.
My warding spells.

Your girl Friday

showed me a few loopholes.

No offense, but I'm going to
take my chances with them.

Now, that...

...was very, very stupid!

And all it cost me was
an island in the South Pacific.

I love a bargain.

Can't do all my tricks,
but I can do enough.

Get out of her!

If I had a nickel for every time
someone screamed that at me...

Getting in touch with your
feminine side, huh, Crowley?

Something like that.

Well, come and get him.

One out of two ain't bad.

Watch the kid!

Kevin, don't!
Let Dean take care of it.

Sam, move!

Don't!

You know what's better
than one private island?

Two private islands.

Okay. Give it back.

Give it back.

Where'd you get
the 5/8 of a virgin?

Oh, no.

Mom!

Well, that was exciting.

Good luck
closing the gates to Hell...

...without this.

Surprising what mommy dearest
has rattling around in her head.

Want to know
who your real father is?

Scandalous.

Crowley!

I know we're not mates,
Kevin,

but one word of advice --
run.

Run far and run fast.

'Cause the Winchesters --

well, they have a habit
of using people up

and watching them die bloody.

Toodles.

Has she said anything?

Listen, Kev,
what your mom went through --

it's hell.

Trust me, I know.

But she seems tough.
She'll pull it together.

You tried to kill her.

Kid, in this life --

Shut up!

I don't want to hear any more
of your crappy speeches.

I just want to talk to my mom
alone.

Sure.

Five minutes.

Mom...

Dean, were you really
going to, uh...

What?
Slit soccer mom's throat?

Yeah, I was.
I wish I had.

Dean --

It was Crowley, Sam.

No matter what meat suit
he's in,

I should have knifed him.

I mean, yeah,
it would have sucked,

and I would have hated
myself,

but what's one more nightmare,
right?

It seem a little quiet
in there to you?

Kevin?

Kevin!

You've got to be
kidding me!

Hey.

What?

What's it say?

Uh, that they bolted,
that we shouldn't come looking,

and since we lost the tablet,
Kevin figures we don't need him.

Yeah,
but Crowley still does.

What's that kid thinking?!

He thinks
people I don't need anymore --

they end up dead.

Dean, that -- that --
that's not true.

You know that.

Dean! Dean!

Aah!

Dean!