Succession (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - Dundee - full transcript
The entire Roy clan travels to Logan's hometown of Dundee, Scotland, for a celebration of Logan's 50 years in the business; Kendall becomes enamored with Jennifer, an actress in Willa's play; a former employee proves difficult to silence.
Well, we need to locate all
written information
relevant to this investigation.
Are you aware
of any document destruction?
You know what?
I really need to pee!
I'm gonna have to fight now
for every fucking
shareholder vote.
Coochie-fucking-coo.
Yeah, I haven't seen him
like this for a while.
You wanna stay over or what?
Isn't now the time
to just let him know
you have options?
I happen to know
there's a media operation
in need of a new CEO.
Uh, me? At Pierce?
Have you seen this?
They're saying you punched him,
which caused him, in effect,
to drive his car into the river.
How about we offer
a visit to the family?
Actually, Ken, why don't you
come in with me?
We should stick together
on this.
Don't you agree?
Dad? I need to ask,
is it still me?
You know that I want this,
and that I can do it.
Then why are you
fucking me about?
The Pierce job.
Hey, Ken.
I think we've got a problem.
We want to thank you
for coming to this first preview
of Willa's baby,
'cause it isn't easy to...
to give birth
in front of a thousand people.
So... anyway.
Uh... But I-- I have to say,
I could...
watch it all day.
And if you're
talking with your friends,
remember, a lot of the lines
you heard were placeholders.
-Correct?
-That's right, yeah, um...
I-- I had a virus, so...
Yeah, I think it's like,
maybe 30, 40 percent improvement
when-- if I, you know,
get to full... power.
Yeah, but the cast, amazing.
Absolutely.
But previews, so, you know,
watch this space.
- Thank-- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Fuck.
- You okay?
Yeah, just Rhea.
She's like fucking knotweed.
Dad's plaque thing.
Oh, yeah,
the little Dundee dinner.
- Trip to Scotland,
50 years in the biz.
- Mm.
Yeah, not so little anymore.
She went full on.
She's turning it into
a fucking surprise party,
Rhea-produced Logan-athon.
I would tell your dad that
she's a traitorous viper
and that she stabbed you
in the back.
Oh, come on.
Go whining to Logan?
Come-- I need to be
smarter than that.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Who's that?
Huh?
Is that... "him"?
-Him who?
-"Him who?"
Look at you.
- What? No.
- Are you sweating?
It's construction sand,
and it's supposed to be
desert sand.
-I mean, can we fix that?
-Sure.
Willa. Hey.
- Hi.
- I just want to say congrats.
I didn't realize, but that was,
uh, you know?
You're a playwright.
-Thank you. Yeah...
-Yeah.
I mean, I've always told you
I'm a playwright.
Yeah, but, you know,
Roman's, like...
"written a screenplay."
-Thanks, bro.
-Yeah. Yeah.
This is the worst it'll be.
It can only get better.
Right, okay.
Hey, so, Con,
who-- who's, um...
Who's that chick that Willa's
talking to right now?
Oh, Jennifer?
Yeah, she's one of 'em.
She's one of the wackjobs,
the actors...
but no, yeah, she's fantastic.
She's just got this unbelievable
gift for...
-pretending.
-She was amazing.
Oh. Uh-huh. You okay?
Hey, I'm drowning in pussy
and everything's golden.
Well, that's great, Kenny.
-Hey, uh...
-Hey.
-Ken.
-Yeah.
Did you get this email from Rhea
about the tribute videos?
-Ooh, uh-huh.
-Yeah, and you know that she's--
she's lunching Sid and Laird,
right?
Mm-hm.
I mean...
Shiv, look.
It's all changing all the time--
-Oh. Oh, okay. So, you're like--
you're out of the game...
-So, like, no big deal.
...and you're just
stockpiling lentils and--
-and hoarding antibiotics?
-No, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying it's all good,
you know?
It's like there's
nothing new under the sun.
Sorry, will you
excuse me for just a moment?
My father has always been
my greatest champion
and my hero.
Congratulations on 50 years
at the top of the biz.
I love you, Dad.
Nice. Uh... You want to try
one more?
Why?
No, uh, that was perfect,
uh, just...
didn't know if-- if you--
you wanted one more.
If it was perfect,
why would I want one more?
I just-- I meant, um...
Why don't we do just one more
where...
maybe you really, like,
sell how-- how you're feeling?
Yeah. Okay. Let's do it.
All right. Take four.
What up, prick licks?
It's me, Dr. Moron.
I'm a ding-dong, doodle-bug
dipshit with a tit mouse dick
and my dad hates all of you.
- Fucky-go-bye-bye.
- How was that?
Was that good?
It's interesting
that Dad's agreed
to go back to Scotland
for this dedication dinner.
- Yeah.
- He didn't have it easy.
Mm-hm.
He had to shit outside, right?
Sometimes, I think
I'll never truly understand Dad
until I shit outside.
I doubt that squatting
over a storm drain
is going to crack the case
on him.
I just said, "I love you, Dad,"
like ten times in a row.
I think that doubles
my lifetime count.
Hey, what do you reckon, Rome,
Dad boning Rhea?
Can't wrap my head
around that.
Too steamy. Too hot.
We should all talk about
what this means...
for us, you know?
We're-- You know, we're all
sensing a shift, right?
Well, Gerri says she looks like
the new thing.
Well, it happens
Gerri was the new thing once.
- Remember?
- Huh.
You think he ever boned Gerri?
I don't know.
I just think
we need to be careful.
Aw, what's wrong?
You all wedgied up
because Rhea stood on your back
and worked your arms
like an elliptical?
I'm just saying, I wonder
if we should have a plan,
you know, in case Dad does
something rash.
Connor, we're ready for you.
Oh. Okay. Wish me luck.
Hey, Dad. It's me,
Connor Roy, your son.
I just want to say that you've
always been my superhero, Dad.
You fight the bad guys
and you always win.
I know we don't get to spend
as much time together one-on-one
as we'd like,
and that makes me sad,
but I'm unbelievably proud
to be your son.
I super love you, Super-Dad.
Hey, what's up?
Hey, how are you? Loud!
-What?
-And you're wearing
the same clothes as yesterday.
You want us to think
you got laid.
Nice try.
- Hey, Ken.
- Hey.
Siobhan's planning to kill Rhea.
Uh... No. I'm not.
We're having a discussion.
There's no plan.
I'm just encouraging us
to assess our options.
Okay. Is that our business?
The business with our name
on it, is it our business?
I don't know. If--
You know, if Dad's into it...
Like, whatever he thinks
is usually pretty on target.
Okay, well,
I think Rhea is dangerous,
and I think we need to stop her.
Well, it-- it's clear you need
to stop her.
What if she sells the company
for parts?
Eight weeks ago,
Dad was ready to kick over
the whole sandcastle--
He didn't though, did he?
Struck a little deal
on the side instead, Shiv.
All right. You know what?
We need to put feelings
aside and call a family truce,
because we need to fuck her
from 100 different directions
at a thousand miles an hour.
I'm serious.
Uh... Kendall.
Yeah, I mean, I guess...
it would be nice
to keep it in the family.
Oh, Ken. Maybe tell
that heartwarming story
about how you tried to kill him
and take over the company.
That ought to moisten
the old peepers.
So, Connor, I, um--
Do you know
the sand that's in Sands?
You mean the nine metric tons
of Gypsum white
they gouged me for 5.29 a bag?
Sure, I know the sand.
So, I was sitting pretty close
to the stage,
and so, I-- I had great seats,
and, um-- and I think there's
something maybe living in it,
like per-- perhaps thriving
in the sand,
uh, like sand mites, maybe?
I know nothing about that and
bear no legal responsibility.
You'll have to talk
to the sand supplier,
like everyone else.
Yeah,
that's cool, that's cool, um...
Three thousand miles
to pose with signage.
Thank fuck I'm not busy.
You could still cancel.
No, no, no.
Rhea's smart on this.
A little dinner, push 50 years
experience, 50 years growth.
Stress the experience.
History.
A platform on which to make
a strategic announcement.
Logan.
Before we settle in,
um, there's a small matter
we wanted to make you aware of.
Uh-huh.
A former cruise employee,
James Weissel in accounting,
uh, so quite inside the payments
and so on,
seems to have gotten spooked
by a lawsuit,
and seems like he might be
about to talk.
I thought we had this
all sewn up.
- I said I hoped--
- Don't... interrupt me.
You told me this was
all sewn up.
Why am I only hearing
about this now?
He was across
the Caribbean '90s situation,
the payouts
and all the other operations.
And then he went up the ladder.
He knows about the shadow logs.
He supervised a number
of "Mo aftermaths."
Okay. Okay.
Give him the storm warning.
Get rat-fucker Sam
to give him the talk,
"We have endless resources.
We will destroy your life."
-Who knows?
-Kendall, Karl.
-Rhea?
-No. Nope.
Good.
I really don't want this shit
in my ears, you know?
Figure it out.
So, Rhea really
took the reins
on this weekend planning, huh?
Yeah. She's been very active.
Well...
Must be tough for you, though.
How so?
I just...
I know how he can be
when he has a new enthusiasm.
Don't worry about me.
I'm not a child.
I don't piss on the carpet
every time it thunders.
I just think we share
some similar interests.
I mean, is it okay to let her
do this much planning?
If she wants to throw him
a big surprise party,
who am I to spoil it?
Ah. The bandstand.
-What happened there, Pa?
-Huh?
Oh... uh, different things.
Yeah, a lot of, uh... Yeah. Hey.
You and Ewan were lucky
to make it out to Canada.
Wasn't such a fucking
hootenanny there either.
Nah. This place...
I look around and...
I don't know.
We came back for, um...
when my mother died,
but it was all so...
complicated.
You can't explain it.
It's not what you think.
You look at the old pictures
and they want you to think
it's all so fucking simple,
but it was... well, it was...
It was, um--
I don't know what it was.
It was, um...
It wasn't...
what they say, you know?
Tell us a story, though.
-Story?
-Yeah, from back in the day.
Oh, yeah?
What, you want a bit
about, uh, old fucking Rosebud?
Rosebud is a dollar bill.
It's whatever it took
to get me the fuck out of here.
Good story, Dad.
Madam.
Mr. Roy.
A pleasure to welcome you home.
Oh, I don't recall people
shedding a tear when I left,
-but thank you.
-Thank you, sir.
Hello.
- Hello, Rhea.
- Hugo.
-Thank you for organizing this.
-Great to see--
Oh, my pleasure.
So, are you a person
who, uh, can't look
someone in the eye
after you've fucked them?
I acted in good faith.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
that's what's truly scary,
'cause I think you believe that.
What, do you outsource
your fuckery?
You got the right brain
for your TED Talks,
-left brain for your killings?
-That's very unfair.
Oh, well, I feel bad now.
I put you forward to Pierce,
and it got out of hand.
Your dad obviously felt
out of the loop
and it wasn't as I intended.
Yeah, I hear you're putting
some names together
-for Dad's CEO search.
-Uh-huh, various individuals.
Including yourself?
Well, the pool is small
for this type of position.
Oh. Yeah. Wow.
What a surprise.
He needs someone
before the shareholder meeting.
You know that.
Yeah, and I wonder
which way you're leaning.
Who's catching your eye
to recommend?
You leaning towards someone,
say, like me
who wants to kill you,
or... yourself,
for a second chance at
a multi-million-dollar payday?
I'm intrigued. Keep me posted.
So, are you hearing
anything majorly major
about big shit or whatever
through the shit-vine?
In what sense?
In the sense
of the little blonde goblin.
Is she about to gobble up
all the power?
So, um, Frank is concerned.
He says this feels
like something new.
Yeah,
but he does this, right?
Dad. I mean, remember when
he bought that chick a harp?
Oh, Sally Anne?
She didn't even know
how to play it.
This is something else.
He's losing focus.
Out to dinner
four nights a week.
The shareholder vote
is going to be close.
If the board gets replaced,
it'll be a clean sweep.
We could do with options.
I've made sure
that Eduard is invited.
Could you seduce?
Uh... I don't know.
Do you find me seductive?
I can give him a rim.
-I could rim with vim.
-Could they take us private?
Hmm. They want us to open up
a propaganda news operation.
It's that serious, Roman.
We get the money, boom.
Much less oversight.
Hmm? Okay.
Well, I will...
I will talk to him, then.
Oh, and, um,
one more thing, real quick.
Should we... get married?
What?
You know, not that.
Like, an equivalent.
Uh... A thing, like I abduct you
and force you to live with me.
Uh... That's not equivalent.
Well, then, you kill me,
you chop my dick off,
you know, something.
I'm kidding
but you know what I'm saying.
Uh... You eat me, I eat you,
like they do in Germany.
Anyway, lot to think about,
I get it. So, let it...
Bye.
- Hey.
- Hey, so,
it hasn't worn off, right?
Like, that was
a century-defining fuck.
- Who is this again?
- Jennifer, Jennifer.
All right. So, what are
we going to do here?
I feel like
we should maybe buy an island,
put in a giant island sized bed,
and just make love all day.
You ever been to Dundee?
You wanna come to Dundee?
What about my play?
The play? Uh...
I mean, it's, like,
two nights off. Come on.
It's not Arthur Miller, right?
And, uh, I kinda own
a movie studio.
Um... Where is Dundee?
How about you look it up
on your phone
on the way to the airfield,
because I'm sending you a driver
and I'm getting you a jet ride
over here tonight.
Oh, the tap water
used to taste sensational.
-It's changed.
-Mm-hm.
Mr. Roy. You have a second?
Oh, sure.
Transportation to the streets...
Marcia, you look lovely.
Oh, thank you.
Uh... So...
I have something
I wanted to ask you.
Uh-huh.
Are you regularly tested for
sexually transmitted diseases?
Excuse me?
He and I still sleep together.
I don't know
what he tells you.
I'm sorry, I-- I don't know
what you're talking about.
So, I will be more relaxed
to know that you are clean.
I don't know
who else you're screwing.
This-- This isn't appropriate
to-- to talk of--
-of-- of-- Like...
-Listen..
I have fought and I have lost,
and I have fought and won,
but when I lose,
the other one will generally
lose an eye or a soul.
Hey, uh, sorry.
Sorry, Marcia, uh,
could you give us five,
just before drinks?
Of course.
Thank you, Rhea.
Everything okay?
What's the latest?
Sure. Uh-huh.
All good. Honing in.
Uh-huh.
Oh, good. Good.
I mean, thank you for taking
the lead on the little dinner,
all the politics
and, you know, what-not.
Well, I'm pleased to help,
but I'm sensing some turbulence.
Uh-huh.
Shiv.
Oh. Shiv.
She runs hot.
She makes boogie men
out of the clothes she dumps
on her bedroom floor.
Always has.
Well, just as long as you don't
mind a bit of feedback.
A few noses are out of joint.
Strong French feelings.
I'm worried I might get blinded
with a baguette.
Just say Rhea beats her dog
or boyfriend or I don't know.
Uh... Dad would love that.
The thing you think is ammo
is not ammo.
We need to be clear, direct,
with a line of attack.
You know,
"liberal, duplicitous."
"She's a two-faced snowflake
with cum on her dress."
Tell her to ask about Rose.
- Oh, shit.
- Yup!
This sounds schemey.
Redolent of thwart.
Yeah. How do you feel about
oozing a bit near Rhea?
Just, you know, sorta...
Sorta what?
Well, you know, get--
get a bit giggly.
Work it.
But so that my dad can see.
I mean, it doesn't kill her,
but everything helps.
I have this idea that maybe Rhea
can mention in a toast.
- Lob a little grenade?
- Yeah.
Are you pimping me out?
No, no. Nothing crazy, Tom.
Just make her laugh.
Work the arms a bit.
Have a bit of elbow sex.
The woman who my terrifying boss
is obsessed with?
You want me to flirt with her?
Tom, come on. Not--
Not dirty flirty.
Just hurty flirty.
Kendall, you ready
to wind up Rhea?
-Did you fuck with her?
-Yeah.
Let's try Rose out on her.
See if she gets a clip
on the ears.
-Hey, this is great. It's great.
-Yeah, um...
Yeah... Do you--
Do you think it would be okay
if I made a little toast?
I mean, I don't want
to piss anybody off.
Yeah, absolutely.
You could, um...
You could toast his mother,
Helen.
- Oh, right.
- And, uh...
I don't know,
maybe mention Rose,
his sister Rose
who is no longer with us.
He might appreciate that.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, sure.
Evening, one and all.
I know I'm the new nut
in the trail mix,
but, um...
I just wanted to thank you all
for joining, and to...
congratulate
our implacable plaque unveiler.
And, uh,
given tomorrow's honor...
let's raise our glasses
to those...
who are with us tonight
in absentia.
- Logan's mother Helen.
- To Helen.
And his sister Rose.
So... cheers, everyone.
- Cheers.
- Slàinte mhath.
This is some lunch.
Everybody's offended
by everything.
Wow. Well done. Look at you,
fitting right in,
like a camp counselor
in my butt when I was 12.
Is that Keats?
Anonymous.
I see your thing.
It's good. It works.
You're kinda like a peppy,
fun-gun set to "MILF,"
with like, a...
Lean In, woman-y branding thing
that works well
with the Fitbit-moron-whatever
people.
I'm a sort of butterfly
in the ointment:
colorful but wriggly.
I could see us collaborating.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, you can see that?
Yeah, buttering up
the old dunce, huh?
-Nice work. Fuck off.
-No.
-I get your rep.
-Mm-hm.
Some labels take a while
to peel off,
but I happen to think you have
the best instincts
of all of them.
Well, bullshit, but thank you.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, this is where
the party's at. Look at us,
all the cool and the beautiful
people in one spot.
This is like the VIP area,
right here.
Right? It should be, like,
cordoned off
with, a-- like, a velvet rope,
a bit of VIP bondage.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey, Pa, so, listen.
-Uh... The play--
-Yeah, I'm sorry that we, uh--
-we didn't, um...
-No worries.
No, it's just costing
a pretty penny and...
a few financial worries
starting to bubble.
-Be good to chat.
-Yeah, don't worry, son.
I'm sure you'll work it out.
Uh... So... So, Rhea, where's,
uh-- where's home for you?
Home was all over.
And did I hear that
your mother-- Is this true,
she volunteers
for the Democratic Socialists?
Oh, my!
God, folks, watch out,
we've got a libtard
in the punch bowl.
Quick, hide your pay stubs
before she takes more federal.
Uh... Yeah, we don't see
eye to eye on everything.
Oh, right.
Oh, uh, I'm sorry, none for her.
She doesn't drink.
Um...
Well, I, uh, sip.
But-- But--
N-- No, not really, no.
Oh. Yeah. Sorry, I...
Well, not a great deal. Um...
I'm pretty sure,
maybe just a drop
if you can fit it in there.
For a toast.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
- Well, here's a toast.
- Oh. Great.
I guess I just wanna say
how great it is
to have everyone we know
and love in one place
to celebrate our dad's life.
- Yeah. Hear, hear.
- Hear, hear.
Shout out to Rhea for planning
a wonderful funeral.
I mean, uh...
memorial.
No, uh, evening.
Oh, please...
It's my honor to salute a man...
who will one day bury us all,
no doubt.
- Hear, hear.
- Happy days.
- Hear, hear. Cheers.
- Cheers.
Cheerio, Dad.
To Dad.
I have one in my backside.
Just don't scratch it.
Oh, God. I feel like
it's weirder with one protester.
Like, you don't know whether
to make eye contact, or...
Well, he really went with
the first draft on that one.
Still, to be fair,
it's pretty effective.
Apparently,
it's less offensive over here.
It's like calling someone
a buddy.
Look at this shit.
Are you kidding me?
If this place was in Brooklyn,
it'd be worth five mil, easy.
This is, like, fine.
- It's totally fine.
- Yeah. Yeah.
I'd live here.
I mean, I wouldn't
but someone could.
I mean, you told me
he lived in an open sewer
and was raised by rats
but this is...
Yeah, you should go peek
in that window.
That's for sure a bathroom.
And this fucker is pre-war.
There's no way Dad shat
in a bucket.
This stuff's
making it worse.
And I feel like this stuff
is attracting midges.
My sand mites are getting
bitten by midges.
Just stop.
-I'm just uncomfortable
in my skin right now.
-Just stop.
Oh, here we go.
Has it changed much?
Yeah... Everything.
What's he doing?
Okay. There it is.
What am I supposed to do?
I think maybe a photo.
They've said you can go in.
No. Thank you.
Let's go.
- Wait. Wait.
- What the fuck?
Ah. Memories.
Uh...
So, I have an update.
Oh, yeah?
James Weissel. We don't really
want to bother your dad.
- We know he's enjoying this.
- Oh. Uh-huh.
There's a call,
and we might like your input.
- That okay?
- Yeah.
So, we made the threat/offer
to Mr. Weaselman.
Five rising to ten.
But he said no.
He said no to ten?
Why would he say no to ten mil?
I don't know, playing hardball?
We need this to go away,
- so I'm gonna double the offer.
- Yeah.
Anything to get him
to roll, right?
Yeah, right. Sounds smart.
Okay. So, I just wanted
to let you know.
Nice to keep your dad
in a good mood
for the festivities.
Absolutely.
Mr. Roy.
So happy you could make it.
Well, let's see
what my money bought, shall we?
- Everything's state of the art.
- Hmm.
Inking, web-offset press.
We like to say,
we've got a better set up
than most UK papers.
Wow.
A whole school for how to intern
at a clickbait aggregator?
Yeah.
"Ten reasons
why you're never getting paid."
I'm sorry, I have to ask.
Why are you trying to fuck me?
Trying to fuck you?
What do you mean?
Rose.
We both know what that was.
If anything, I'm just, uh,
mildly offended on behalf
of my sister and Frank, Gerri.
And I wonder about the optics,
but, uh,
hey, my dad knows, so...
-Yeah?
-Even so.
I don't know
how you've done it, frankly.
What with everything
you've been through.
Uh-huh.
You're good, though.
Right.
-Thank you.
-No.
You're good,
but you're still
in the rock tumbler right now.
You're not ready.
I'm good.
I mean, I'm over my shit.
And I've met someone new.
I mean, she is fantastic.
And, uh, so, yeah, I'm--
I'm not in the place
you think I'm in.
No, it's okay.
But when we're out
on the other side of this all...
it's you.
I'm telling you now.
It's always been you.
Well...
thank you.
I don't know about that,
but thank you.
Um... They're asking if you want
to stay for lunch.
Fuck, no.
I'll be sure to feed that back
to them. "Fuck, no." Got it.
Ah. Look who made it.
Are you going to change
the name of the airport, too?
As you fly off?
Marcia call you?
No. Your new one.
Oh, right.
The Logan Roy
School of Journalism.
What's next?
The Jack the Ripper
Women's Health Clinic?
You, uh, had a poke
around the town?
I've seen enough.
You've been spreading your name
all over this place
like it was graffiti.
They tried to get me
to go into the old house.
Another plaque.
I saw a mistle thrush
at the bandstand.
Sure, you did.
Oh, this old bastard.
I used to keep a log
of the birds I'd see.
Your grandpa would go through it
and scrub out the ones
he didn't believe I'd seen.
You were always fairly generous
with your sightings.
- Yeah.
- Hello, valued shareholder,
- you will soon have
a critical decision to make...
- What the fuck is this?
...regarding your investment
in Waystar.
They're fucking
robocalling me now.
I was gonna say,
it's nice to see you and, uh,
and the old brother
having a chat.
Yeah, well...
Yeah,
he's a tough old bird.
-But-- But he's, uh-- he's--
-He's morally bankrupt.
He's a nothing man
who may well be...
more personally responsible
for the death of this planet...
than any other
single human being.
He also makes
the Kalispitron franchise,
which is, uh, you know,
solid, mediocre entertainment.
In terms of the lives
that will be lost
by his whoring
for the climate change deniers,
there's a very persuasive
argument to be made...
that he's worse than Hitler.
Right, well...
And I'd appreciate it
if you'd stop working for him.
Okay, um, well...
so, I have moved up
significantly,
and this might sound dumb,
but maybe I can kind of work it
from the inside,
-and that way--
-If you refuse,
I think it's
well within my rights...
to remove your name
from amongst the beneficiaries
of my last will and testament.
Okay.
Because that's-- that's
quite a pretty penny.
Around 250 mil.
And I'm sure Greenpeace would be
very much obliged.
No, de-- definitely, that is
quite a pickle.
- Mm.
- That is a tough one.
- Dude.
- Hey, brother.
Oh, my God,
you smell like cotton candy.
I almost want to lick your neck.
Thanks for coming, man.
My dad'll be very pleased
when he sees, you know,
old friends and...
Hi, yes, sir. Yeah, I'll take
one of those golden beauties.
What's this?
Scottish.
I'm thinking of getting in.
Scottish kicky-ball?
It looks like two eunuchs
trying to fuck a letterbox.
I'm liking the look of Hibs.
Or Hearts.
-Yeah?
-Mm.
Hearts, that's my dad's team.
The only childhood relic
he can stomach.
-Agent in Spain, big baller.
-Mm-hm.
I buy the club, he loans me
nine shit hot players.
- Mm-hm.
- We climb the ladder,
take the second
Champion's League space,
UEFA goes
full European super-league,
flip it, walk away.
I have no idea
what you're talking about,
but it sounds
fucking slick, dude.
Slicker than cum
on a dolphin's back.
You want in?
Hm. Maybe.
Uh... But can we talk about
what we talked about?
You know, a major injection,
or even taking us private.
Have you talked to your dad?
It's a conversation we can have.
Then we should totally have
that fucking conversation,
like two fucking auctioneers
on coke.
I have total 360 latitude
to work on my father's behalf.
Oh, cool. Same with me,
with my dad, yeah.
Fuck, it's weird how much
we're the same.
Attaboy.
Sock it in the net sack,
you crazy kick ball bastards.
-Buy them with me.
-Hmm?
Fifty-fifty.
Buy the-- them? The...
Uh... Yeah, let me have a think.
I mean, I don't really
see a downside, other than...
zero knowledge or interest
in Scottish football,
but yeah, let me have
a little think. Hearts.
Are you just looking
at golf courses?
Like golf porn.
Am I allowed to take
those soaps in the bathroom?
Yeah. Fuck it, take it all.
Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hey, Connor.
-Whatcha doing?
-Uh... We're just getting ready.
Good.
What time's--
Uh... What time's the thing?
I don't think the big surprise
is until eight.
-So...
-Willa asked me to check in,
'cause Jennifer is, like,
a key member of the cast.
Would it be possible
to send Jennifer back
to be on stage?
Well, no, I'm afraid,
because Jennifer and I are
currently engaged
in one of the all-time great
psychosexual expeditions.
We're like the Lewis and Clarke
of fucking.
Come on, man.
I'm begging you here.
I-- I'm bleeding out.
I can't afford this.
I'm sorry, dude,
but, uh, that's showbiz.
- I am very unhappy
with this outcome.
I-- I know. I'm sorry.
Not wanting to put a dampener
on Rhea's celebrations
or anything, but it's time
we killed her dead.
Smash her skull in
with a rock.
- Nice.
- Okay.
Way to ease us in, sis.
Will there be nibbles
at this event?
I was expecting nibbles.
What I'm thinking is
we just-- We tell him direct.
We just tell him, all of us,
we won't have it.
- Should I maybe take the floor?
- Okay.
Would Rhea really be
the worst thing in the world?
Or does a woman from outside
actually make sense right now?
Okay, right. Well,
she-- she got to you.
No. Just--
I'm fighting on two fronts
and I might have to make
a request to Dad
about a bridge situation,
-and she's been understanding.
-This is bullshit. Ken?
- Well...
- Well?
Oh, come on.
Oh sh-- You're backing her too,
rebounder?
No, I-- I just...
- I just think that maybe...
- You just...? You are.
...you've overplayed your hand.
Excuse me?
How did she get to you?
Oh, you think you'll be given
another shot at some point,
ever? No.
-And, Roman, you? No.
-Ah, well, I mean...
No, she thinks you're a dipshit,
or maybe you're just too much of
a fucking dipshit to see that.
Fuck you. I know more
about this business than you.
-More than any of you, actually.
-Oh, Roman, no one gives a fuck
-about management training.
-Dad does. Gerri does.
It's corporate daycare.
That's not a good retort!
- Don't fucking laugh at that.
- Shiv.
- Thanks for taking this
seriously.
- I do.
It's just... It's transparent.
- Uh...
- You know,
Rhea's who Dad wants.
Clearly. So...
But he's wrong.
Yeah, but--
- In case you want it in writing.
- Maybe, you know,
you should just, like--
like, give it up.
Full disclosure,
I'm starting to like her.
Hmm. He likes her.
Yeah, this is why you don't
hatch a plan with Connor,
the first fucking pancake.
First pancake. Okay, thank you.
You're a brat. You know,
none of you have been through
what I've been through,
so just...
Aw! My mommy
got sent to the booby hatch
-and now I'm sad.
-Fuck off.
I think you're being
too emotional
about this whole thing.
- Oh, my fucking God.
- I think he's trying...
-Are you doing
the emotional card on me?
-...to mansplain things to you.
-Fuck's sake.
-I mean...
I mean,
I was gonna mansplain it to you,
but I think he did
a very good job.
Roman, Kendall and Connor.
Basically,
it was a fucking disaster.
- Well, I'm sorry.
- No, we just need to...
let him know,
be very direct:
she tried to put her hands
down your pants.
No!
Seriously? That's not
a normal thing to ask?
Not actually say that
she tried to-- I don't know.
And I mean because also, maybe,
there is a world
in which Rhea...
makes more sense... for me
is the-- is the truth. Maybe.
Excuse me?
The woman who you barely know
makes more sense
to you than your wife?
Oh, come on, it's complicated.
Your dad is complicated.
You think if you kill Rhea,
he's just gonna give it
back to you automatically?
No.
Okay, well, Tom,
I won't give up.
I won't.
He made me a fucking offer,
and I'm gonna
redeem that coupon.
So, we got, uh,
the Lord Provost,
the Chamber of Commerce,
Leader of the Council...
What? 20 to 30 faces?
-Is that right?
-I don't know.
Je suis pas ta secretaire.
Uh-huh.
Uh... Look, you stay
as long as you like,
I'm gonna bolt after the soup,
say I have calls.
I just wanna get the fuck out.
Okay.
Feting the king.
Tacitus comes to mind.
Yeah, yeah. Tacitus.
Classic Tacitus.
He's made a wasteland
and calls it an empire.
God, Tacitus...
He just-- just--
All killer, no filler with him.
Did he ever have a bad quote?
Have you tendered
your resignation?
Just working that out
in the old noggin still.
Whoa.
Apparently...
we may be suffering
from bad buzz.
Whatever good buzz we had
has been wiped out
by pervasive bad buzz.
Okay, news. Huddle.
Okay, everyone.
Here we go. Here we go.
Okay, everybody.
Um... Bright eyes,
and let's see those chompers.
Surprise!
Jesus H. Christ!
They're all in there!
I mean, I-- I--
I saw Peter fucking Magillan.
Uh... Fucking Cyd.
Jeff Greenway.
I mean, fuck me.
I-- I thought
it was supposed to be a--
-You know, a steak and a chat.
-Rhea thought it would be nice.
Well...
Shall we?
Oh.
Wow.
I've never seen these.
Yeah, look at that.
I think that's...
maybe the Denver Chronicle.
I interned there.
Everything okay?
Oh. Yeah.
It's--
Word got around
that I'm over here
and people from the play
are super-pissed.
Oh. Don't worry, don't worry.
We'll figure it out. Yeah?
Okay. Okay.
So, this was actually
a pretty tough situation
with the distribution,
-but my dad did this amazing--
-Has anyone ever told you
that you talk about your dad,
like... a lot?
Okay. Uh...
No, I don't think they have.
I wasn't trying to be nasty,
I was just
pointing something out.
No, it's cool, he's--
he's just a major presence
in our lives.
Do you want to say hi?
-Okay. Yeah.
-Yeah? Yeah.
-I mean, he looks kind of busy.
-Let's go. Yeah, no, no, no.
- I want you to meet my dad.
- Okay.
He's gonna love you.
I've got a proposition for you.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
So, we've got this opportunity
for you to become involved
financially in Willa's play,
which I don't know
if you've been hearing,
but the buzz is excellent.
-Hmm. Hmm.
-You know?
So, I'd really like to talk
to you about that,
-if I could. Just, you know...
-Uh...
Hey, Dad. This is Jennifer.
- Hi.
- Ah.
Pleasure to meet you.
It's nice to meet you, too.
Yeah, and congratulations, too.
This is so awesome.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Jennifer's
really amazing, and, uh...
- Thanks.
- Uh-huh.
-She's in theatre.
-Ah.
Well, not really.
Well...
I mean, you are. You are...
- You are.
- Shh.
Anyways, this is so awesome.
Yes, it is.
I, uh...
I should really mingle, uh...
- So good to meet you.
- Yeah.
Seen Kendall's latest?
Uh... Yeah.
Mind like a balloon.
Uh-huh.
Hey, uh, you wanna...
You wanna call a truce
for tonight?
Okay.
I got you something.
Oh. Thank you.
Nice.
Oh, nice houses.
-Uh-huh. Yeah, these are...
-Lovely.
These are our houses, Dad.
-They're all ours.
-Really?
Yeah. Malibu.
-Uh-huh.
-You remember...
Huh. Quality work.
Don't like the past
too much, huh?
I do. I do.
It's, uh... it's just
there's so much of it.
The future is real, but...
the past, well, it's...
Yeah. Um...
It's all made up.
It's, um... bad this time.
She doesn't drink...
Uh... She's got my contacts
and everyone, everyone is here.
And I didn't know a thing.
Yeah.
-She's blue, you know?
-Uh-huh.
She's liberal.
Well, yeah, but so am I.
-Yeah, but you fucking get it.
-Kinda--
You fucking get it. You know?
I mean, she told me she drank.
I shared a whisky with her.
-Mm-hm.
-Prick tease.
Oh, we don't use that anymore.
Oh, yeah. I know, I know.
All sorts of useful fucking
words have gone that way.
I'm worried.
- Don't worry, Dad.
- Is it--
Have I got it right?
Huh?
'Cause...
You're smart. You are smart.
I-- 'Scuse me,
sorry to interrupt.
Just wanted to, um,
ask you something
- about the procedures tonight.
- Oh, sure.
- Question about cake.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I, uh...
- I gotta go to the pisser.
- Okay.
- Where is it?
Just--
Oh, I think it's that way.
Hey.
Uncle Logs.
Hey, I just, uh--
I just wanted to say
"Happy Night."
Uh-huh.
I don't know, uh...
I don't know. I just wanted
to, uh...
It may be that
I've reached the end of the road
in terms of, uh--
of-- of like...
What?
My grandpa has made it clear
that if I want to secure
my future,
then I need to sever my links.
Negotiate a bit of a "Grexit."
Did he now?
It has been a pleasure, um...
work-- doing business with you,
and I've learned a lot.
And I hope that, um...
I hope that I brought something
to the table, too.
I like you, Greg.
Oh. O-- Okay. Right.
I do. I like you.
What did he say?
He threatened to cut me off.
He won't do that.
He's too much
of a fucking coward.
That's why his whole life
has amounted to nothing.
But you know, in the end,
it's up to you, kiddo. Hmm?
Yeah.
Uncle Fun...
or Grandpa Grumps.
So, I hereby convene the meeting
of the newly formed
"What the Fuck are We Gonna Do"
committee.
So we made the second threat
slash offer to Mr. Weissel
-and he said no.
-To what?
He said no to everything.
We offered 20 million dollars.
Didn't flinch.
No fear of the cost
of legal action.
Zero appetite to settle.
We asked for a number.
Any number.
- Apparently, this is no number.
- There's no number?
And there's obviously something
going on under the water.
-We think he has a backer?
-Who?
Could be anyone who has a grudge
against Waystar.
Get a phone book.
I mean, it's a very long list.
It's all likely to come out:
the shadow logs,
-NDA, domino unraveling.
-Oh, mother!
It's spiraling.
It's moving fast.
We hear the weasel. The weasel
is negotiating to go on TV
-and spill his guts. Yeah.
-Oh, fuck.
Uh-huh.
It's gonna be huge.
-Fuck.
It's gonna blow wide open.
Sour any CEO announcement.
The new face is gonna get ripped
to shreds.
Short term question is:
When... do we tell him?
Do we tell him tonight?
Anyone want to end the night
with a round
of Boar on the Floor?
Big picture,
I mean...
The weasel
is an existential threat.
Okay.
We give him the night off.
Let him enjoy the night.
We'll tell him tomorrow.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
And if I had to tell him
you made the call,
would you still be happy
with the call?
That's the call.
Uh... Good evening, everyone.
It's a pleasure to have you
here tonight
to honor my dad's life and work.
So, when Rhea was planning this,
she asked me to help out
with, um... with a little
tribute to the certain...
flavor.
And after a lot of convincing,
well...
Here we are.
Is he about to strip?
- Just remember
I'm not a professional.
- Think he's going to masturbate
onstage to a photo of Dad.
My boy Squiggle
cooked up this beat for me.
Check it.
♪ Born on the North Bank
King of the East Side ♪
♪ Fifty years strong now
He's rollin' in a sick ride ♪
♪ Handmade suits
Raking in loot ♪
- ♪ Five star general
Y'all best salute, yo ♪
- Oh, no.
- No. Jesus, no. No.
- Oh, my God!
Ken.W.A.
I mean it's...
it is burning my eyes,
but I cannot look away.
♪ L to the OG ♪
♪ Dude be the OG ♪
♪ A-N he playin' ♪
♪ Playin' like a pro, see ♪
♪ L to the OG ♪
♪ Dude be the OG ♪
♪ A-N he playin' ♪
♪ Playin' like a pro ♪
Make some noise!
♪ A1 ratings, 80K wine ♪
♪ Never gonna stop, baby
Fuck father time, bro ♪
♪ Don't get it twisted
I've been through hell ♪
♪ But since I stan Dad
I'm alive and well ♪
♪ Shaper of views
Creator of news ♪
♪ Father of many
Paid all his dues ♪
♪ So don't try to run
Your mouth at the king ♪
♪ Just pucker up, bitch
And go kiss the ring ♪
♪ L to the OG ♪
♪ Dude be the OG ♪
♪ A-N he playin' ♪
Make some noise!
♪ When I say L, you say OG ♪
♪ L to the... ♪
- ♪ L to the... ♪
- ♪ OG ♪
-♪ L to the... ♪
-You need to stop this.
-♪ L to the... ♪
-♪ OG ♪
♪ L to the... ♪
♪ L to the motherfucking OG ♪
I think this might be the end
of the company.
We might get sucked into
a black hole of embarrassment
that we never get out of.
Dundee
in the motherfucking house.
If I can get your attention.
Some appreciations of the man,
the legend, Logan Roy.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, everybody.
Um...
Yeah, you all know that I've
had my ups and downs...
you could say.
And, um...
What you might not know
is that my dad has been the one
who's been to meet me
at my lowest moments...
Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt.
You remember Eduard?
Just wanna say congrats
on a lifetime of kicking ass.
Thanks. I'm not dead yet.
Um... Also, I got you a present.
We actually got you a present.
We bought the Hearts.
Logan, happy anniversary...
-The Hearts?
-Mm-hm!
-Hearts Football Club?
-Mm-hm!
-Why?
-Why-- Because it's the Hearts.
It's your team.
-I'm Hibs.
-You're Hibs?
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
Are you sure?
I thought you were Hearts.
I'm pretty sure, Dad.
You know, maybe you're right.
How would I know what team
I supported all my fucking life?
I mean, maybe I support
Kilmarnock.
Or Fucklechester Rangers?
I mean, how can I fucking
possibly fucking know?
If it's any consolation,
I'm horrible at gift buying.
Yeah.
Always get the wrong thing.
Oh, hey, it's me. Watch it.
What can I say?
Congrats on a thousand years...
- Hey.
- Hey, Shiv.
Listen, I-- I really--
I really am...
wondering about this. Rhea.
Dad. Listen. You gotta do
what you think is right.
Yeah? That's all there is.
And she's the one.
For now, she's the one.
Hey, Dad. Congrats!
Uh...
Look, I know how you hate
all this bullshit,
so I'll just say...
"Fuck you, Dad,"
and I wish we were having wine
instead of being here
with all these people
who are scared of you.
Just try your gut. Yeah?
You can't give it to me
or anyone else
because of sentiment.
You know that.
Thank you, darling.
Thank you.
Yeah.
30 seconds to VT,
Mr. Roy.
You all right?
- Was it--
- Was it all too much?
I'm not crazy about surprises.
Uh...
I wasn't expecting
so many friendly faces.
I mean, you got me,
you bastards.
You know, you really got me.
Uh...
But seriously, no.
I'm touched.
Um...
Some people say
that I'm wedded to my work.
Just ask any of my wives.
But I'm amazed at what Waystar
has achieved
over the last 50 years.
And I'm proud of my family,
who have helped me get here.
And it seems to me that now,
after 50 years at the helm...
now might be a smart time
to think about...
who will help me write
the next chapter.
I'm gonna announce tonight,
in due course,
I shall be appointing...
Rhea Jarrell...
as my chief executive officer.
Statement to follow.
Hey! That was pretty intense.
Uh...
Yeah.
You, um...
You said--
You said "awesome" a lot.
What?
You said "awesome" a lot
when you were talking to my dad.
Did I? Okay.
I didn't notice that.
It's fine. It was just--
It was funny.
You're freezing. Let me--
Let me get your coat.
-I'll be right back.
-Okay.
Hey, can we get Jennifer
on the first flight outta here?
Sure thing. Everything okay?
Uh... Yeah. Good.
Maybe-- Hey. Hey, Tony.
Maybe, um... let her know
I might be tied up. Okay.
Excuse me.
-Nice night, eh?
-Mm-hm.
You okay?
You told me nothing
about you stepping aside. Why?
I apologize.
You broke something here.
I didn't like it...
when you told me
that I should sell my company.
You hear what you wanna hear,
then you punish me for something
I didn't say.
I may have made
some misjudgments.
You're careless.
-You've been careless of me.
-Marcia.
I'm bored. You are boring me.
Excuse me, it's time
for the plaque now, Mr. Roy.
- I'm going.
- Marcia.
Don't be fucking stupid.
It's a plaque.
Oh, God forbid,
I will miss the plaque. Right?
Your shiny little gravestone.
Guess you'll have to face
your reckoning alone.
Mother would have hated
all this.
And that trash you call news.
Now, we last saw her
when you were five...
and I was four...
but you know what kind
of journalism
she would've approved of?
I know she never would've
approved of what you've become.
What? Your meal ticket?
I'm just surprised
you're still standing.
Any other man would've died
from the shame.
-Uh-huh.
-It's hard to know
which is more toxic:
your news outlets
or your cruise division.
All those years blaming yourself
for Rose.
-I'm not interested.
-That really wasn't your fault.
This, though...
This is your fault.
This empire of shit.
Time to pay up.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is that time.
The Helen Elspeth Roy College!
Sexual exploitation,
violence, hidden by cover-ups
and corruption
inside Waystar.
Gregory Hirsch.
Is that someone known to you,
Mr. Wambsgams?
Uh, no, no, sorry.
No, Tom?
As the next CEO,
it might be wise to keep clean.
That scares me.
Any chance you guys have
the muscle to take us private?
Outside!
I can't have this now!
Ten bad minutes
on camera in D.C....
That could be it, the end.
written information
relevant to this investigation.
Are you aware
of any document destruction?
You know what?
I really need to pee!
I'm gonna have to fight now
for every fucking
shareholder vote.
Coochie-fucking-coo.
Yeah, I haven't seen him
like this for a while.
You wanna stay over or what?
Isn't now the time
to just let him know
you have options?
I happen to know
there's a media operation
in need of a new CEO.
Uh, me? At Pierce?
Have you seen this?
They're saying you punched him,
which caused him, in effect,
to drive his car into the river.
How about we offer
a visit to the family?
Actually, Ken, why don't you
come in with me?
We should stick together
on this.
Don't you agree?
Dad? I need to ask,
is it still me?
You know that I want this,
and that I can do it.
Then why are you
fucking me about?
The Pierce job.
Hey, Ken.
I think we've got a problem.
We want to thank you
for coming to this first preview
of Willa's baby,
'cause it isn't easy to...
to give birth
in front of a thousand people.
So... anyway.
Uh... But I-- I have to say,
I could...
watch it all day.
And if you're
talking with your friends,
remember, a lot of the lines
you heard were placeholders.
-Correct?
-That's right, yeah, um...
I-- I had a virus, so...
Yeah, I think it's like,
maybe 30, 40 percent improvement
when-- if I, you know,
get to full... power.
Yeah, but the cast, amazing.
Absolutely.
But previews, so, you know,
watch this space.
- Thank-- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Fuck.
- You okay?
Yeah, just Rhea.
She's like fucking knotweed.
Dad's plaque thing.
Oh, yeah,
the little Dundee dinner.
- Trip to Scotland,
50 years in the biz.
- Mm.
Yeah, not so little anymore.
She went full on.
She's turning it into
a fucking surprise party,
Rhea-produced Logan-athon.
I would tell your dad that
she's a traitorous viper
and that she stabbed you
in the back.
Oh, come on.
Go whining to Logan?
Come-- I need to be
smarter than that.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Who's that?
Huh?
Is that... "him"?
-Him who?
-"Him who?"
Look at you.
- What? No.
- Are you sweating?
It's construction sand,
and it's supposed to be
desert sand.
-I mean, can we fix that?
-Sure.
Willa. Hey.
- Hi.
- I just want to say congrats.
I didn't realize, but that was,
uh, you know?
You're a playwright.
-Thank you. Yeah...
-Yeah.
I mean, I've always told you
I'm a playwright.
Yeah, but, you know,
Roman's, like...
"written a screenplay."
-Thanks, bro.
-Yeah. Yeah.
This is the worst it'll be.
It can only get better.
Right, okay.
Hey, so, Con,
who-- who's, um...
Who's that chick that Willa's
talking to right now?
Oh, Jennifer?
Yeah, she's one of 'em.
She's one of the wackjobs,
the actors...
but no, yeah, she's fantastic.
She's just got this unbelievable
gift for...
-pretending.
-She was amazing.
Oh. Uh-huh. You okay?
Hey, I'm drowning in pussy
and everything's golden.
Well, that's great, Kenny.
-Hey, uh...
-Hey.
-Ken.
-Yeah.
Did you get this email from Rhea
about the tribute videos?
-Ooh, uh-huh.
-Yeah, and you know that she's--
she's lunching Sid and Laird,
right?
Mm-hm.
I mean...
Shiv, look.
It's all changing all the time--
-Oh. Oh, okay. So, you're like--
you're out of the game...
-So, like, no big deal.
...and you're just
stockpiling lentils and--
-and hoarding antibiotics?
-No, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying it's all good,
you know?
It's like there's
nothing new under the sun.
Sorry, will you
excuse me for just a moment?
My father has always been
my greatest champion
and my hero.
Congratulations on 50 years
at the top of the biz.
I love you, Dad.
Nice. Uh... You want to try
one more?
Why?
No, uh, that was perfect,
uh, just...
didn't know if-- if you--
you wanted one more.
If it was perfect,
why would I want one more?
I just-- I meant, um...
Why don't we do just one more
where...
maybe you really, like,
sell how-- how you're feeling?
Yeah. Okay. Let's do it.
All right. Take four.
What up, prick licks?
It's me, Dr. Moron.
I'm a ding-dong, doodle-bug
dipshit with a tit mouse dick
and my dad hates all of you.
- Fucky-go-bye-bye.
- How was that?
Was that good?
It's interesting
that Dad's agreed
to go back to Scotland
for this dedication dinner.
- Yeah.
- He didn't have it easy.
Mm-hm.
He had to shit outside, right?
Sometimes, I think
I'll never truly understand Dad
until I shit outside.
I doubt that squatting
over a storm drain
is going to crack the case
on him.
I just said, "I love you, Dad,"
like ten times in a row.
I think that doubles
my lifetime count.
Hey, what do you reckon, Rome,
Dad boning Rhea?
Can't wrap my head
around that.
Too steamy. Too hot.
We should all talk about
what this means...
for us, you know?
We're-- You know, we're all
sensing a shift, right?
Well, Gerri says she looks like
the new thing.
Well, it happens
Gerri was the new thing once.
- Remember?
- Huh.
You think he ever boned Gerri?
I don't know.
I just think
we need to be careful.
Aw, what's wrong?
You all wedgied up
because Rhea stood on your back
and worked your arms
like an elliptical?
I'm just saying, I wonder
if we should have a plan,
you know, in case Dad does
something rash.
Connor, we're ready for you.
Oh. Okay. Wish me luck.
Hey, Dad. It's me,
Connor Roy, your son.
I just want to say that you've
always been my superhero, Dad.
You fight the bad guys
and you always win.
I know we don't get to spend
as much time together one-on-one
as we'd like,
and that makes me sad,
but I'm unbelievably proud
to be your son.
I super love you, Super-Dad.
Hey, what's up?
Hey, how are you? Loud!
-What?
-And you're wearing
the same clothes as yesterday.
You want us to think
you got laid.
Nice try.
- Hey, Ken.
- Hey.
Siobhan's planning to kill Rhea.
Uh... No. I'm not.
We're having a discussion.
There's no plan.
I'm just encouraging us
to assess our options.
Okay. Is that our business?
The business with our name
on it, is it our business?
I don't know. If--
You know, if Dad's into it...
Like, whatever he thinks
is usually pretty on target.
Okay, well,
I think Rhea is dangerous,
and I think we need to stop her.
Well, it-- it's clear you need
to stop her.
What if she sells the company
for parts?
Eight weeks ago,
Dad was ready to kick over
the whole sandcastle--
He didn't though, did he?
Struck a little deal
on the side instead, Shiv.
All right. You know what?
We need to put feelings
aside and call a family truce,
because we need to fuck her
from 100 different directions
at a thousand miles an hour.
I'm serious.
Uh... Kendall.
Yeah, I mean, I guess...
it would be nice
to keep it in the family.
Oh, Ken. Maybe tell
that heartwarming story
about how you tried to kill him
and take over the company.
That ought to moisten
the old peepers.
So, Connor, I, um--
Do you know
the sand that's in Sands?
You mean the nine metric tons
of Gypsum white
they gouged me for 5.29 a bag?
Sure, I know the sand.
So, I was sitting pretty close
to the stage,
and so, I-- I had great seats,
and, um-- and I think there's
something maybe living in it,
like per-- perhaps thriving
in the sand,
uh, like sand mites, maybe?
I know nothing about that and
bear no legal responsibility.
You'll have to talk
to the sand supplier,
like everyone else.
Yeah,
that's cool, that's cool, um...
Three thousand miles
to pose with signage.
Thank fuck I'm not busy.
You could still cancel.
No, no, no.
Rhea's smart on this.
A little dinner, push 50 years
experience, 50 years growth.
Stress the experience.
History.
A platform on which to make
a strategic announcement.
Logan.
Before we settle in,
um, there's a small matter
we wanted to make you aware of.
Uh-huh.
A former cruise employee,
James Weissel in accounting,
uh, so quite inside the payments
and so on,
seems to have gotten spooked
by a lawsuit,
and seems like he might be
about to talk.
I thought we had this
all sewn up.
- I said I hoped--
- Don't... interrupt me.
You told me this was
all sewn up.
Why am I only hearing
about this now?
He was across
the Caribbean '90s situation,
the payouts
and all the other operations.
And then he went up the ladder.
He knows about the shadow logs.
He supervised a number
of "Mo aftermaths."
Okay. Okay.
Give him the storm warning.
Get rat-fucker Sam
to give him the talk,
"We have endless resources.
We will destroy your life."
-Who knows?
-Kendall, Karl.
-Rhea?
-No. Nope.
Good.
I really don't want this shit
in my ears, you know?
Figure it out.
So, Rhea really
took the reins
on this weekend planning, huh?
Yeah. She's been very active.
Well...
Must be tough for you, though.
How so?
I just...
I know how he can be
when he has a new enthusiasm.
Don't worry about me.
I'm not a child.
I don't piss on the carpet
every time it thunders.
I just think we share
some similar interests.
I mean, is it okay to let her
do this much planning?
If she wants to throw him
a big surprise party,
who am I to spoil it?
Ah. The bandstand.
-What happened there, Pa?
-Huh?
Oh... uh, different things.
Yeah, a lot of, uh... Yeah. Hey.
You and Ewan were lucky
to make it out to Canada.
Wasn't such a fucking
hootenanny there either.
Nah. This place...
I look around and...
I don't know.
We came back for, um...
when my mother died,
but it was all so...
complicated.
You can't explain it.
It's not what you think.
You look at the old pictures
and they want you to think
it's all so fucking simple,
but it was... well, it was...
It was, um--
I don't know what it was.
It was, um...
It wasn't...
what they say, you know?
Tell us a story, though.
-Story?
-Yeah, from back in the day.
Oh, yeah?
What, you want a bit
about, uh, old fucking Rosebud?
Rosebud is a dollar bill.
It's whatever it took
to get me the fuck out of here.
Good story, Dad.
Madam.
Mr. Roy.
A pleasure to welcome you home.
Oh, I don't recall people
shedding a tear when I left,
-but thank you.
-Thank you, sir.
Hello.
- Hello, Rhea.
- Hugo.
-Thank you for organizing this.
-Great to see--
Oh, my pleasure.
So, are you a person
who, uh, can't look
someone in the eye
after you've fucked them?
I acted in good faith.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
that's what's truly scary,
'cause I think you believe that.
What, do you outsource
your fuckery?
You got the right brain
for your TED Talks,
-left brain for your killings?
-That's very unfair.
Oh, well, I feel bad now.
I put you forward to Pierce,
and it got out of hand.
Your dad obviously felt
out of the loop
and it wasn't as I intended.
Yeah, I hear you're putting
some names together
-for Dad's CEO search.
-Uh-huh, various individuals.
Including yourself?
Well, the pool is small
for this type of position.
Oh. Yeah. Wow.
What a surprise.
He needs someone
before the shareholder meeting.
You know that.
Yeah, and I wonder
which way you're leaning.
Who's catching your eye
to recommend?
You leaning towards someone,
say, like me
who wants to kill you,
or... yourself,
for a second chance at
a multi-million-dollar payday?
I'm intrigued. Keep me posted.
So, are you hearing
anything majorly major
about big shit or whatever
through the shit-vine?
In what sense?
In the sense
of the little blonde goblin.
Is she about to gobble up
all the power?
So, um, Frank is concerned.
He says this feels
like something new.
Yeah,
but he does this, right?
Dad. I mean, remember when
he bought that chick a harp?
Oh, Sally Anne?
She didn't even know
how to play it.
This is something else.
He's losing focus.
Out to dinner
four nights a week.
The shareholder vote
is going to be close.
If the board gets replaced,
it'll be a clean sweep.
We could do with options.
I've made sure
that Eduard is invited.
Could you seduce?
Uh... I don't know.
Do you find me seductive?
I can give him a rim.
-I could rim with vim.
-Could they take us private?
Hmm. They want us to open up
a propaganda news operation.
It's that serious, Roman.
We get the money, boom.
Much less oversight.
Hmm? Okay.
Well, I will...
I will talk to him, then.
Oh, and, um,
one more thing, real quick.
Should we... get married?
What?
You know, not that.
Like, an equivalent.
Uh... A thing, like I abduct you
and force you to live with me.
Uh... That's not equivalent.
Well, then, you kill me,
you chop my dick off,
you know, something.
I'm kidding
but you know what I'm saying.
Uh... You eat me, I eat you,
like they do in Germany.
Anyway, lot to think about,
I get it. So, let it...
Bye.
- Hey.
- Hey, so,
it hasn't worn off, right?
Like, that was
a century-defining fuck.
- Who is this again?
- Jennifer, Jennifer.
All right. So, what are
we going to do here?
I feel like
we should maybe buy an island,
put in a giant island sized bed,
and just make love all day.
You ever been to Dundee?
You wanna come to Dundee?
What about my play?
The play? Uh...
I mean, it's, like,
two nights off. Come on.
It's not Arthur Miller, right?
And, uh, I kinda own
a movie studio.
Um... Where is Dundee?
How about you look it up
on your phone
on the way to the airfield,
because I'm sending you a driver
and I'm getting you a jet ride
over here tonight.
Oh, the tap water
used to taste sensational.
-It's changed.
-Mm-hm.
Mr. Roy. You have a second?
Oh, sure.
Transportation to the streets...
Marcia, you look lovely.
Oh, thank you.
Uh... So...
I have something
I wanted to ask you.
Uh-huh.
Are you regularly tested for
sexually transmitted diseases?
Excuse me?
He and I still sleep together.
I don't know
what he tells you.
I'm sorry, I-- I don't know
what you're talking about.
So, I will be more relaxed
to know that you are clean.
I don't know
who else you're screwing.
This-- This isn't appropriate
to-- to talk of--
-of-- of-- Like...
-Listen..
I have fought and I have lost,
and I have fought and won,
but when I lose,
the other one will generally
lose an eye or a soul.
Hey, uh, sorry.
Sorry, Marcia, uh,
could you give us five,
just before drinks?
Of course.
Thank you, Rhea.
Everything okay?
What's the latest?
Sure. Uh-huh.
All good. Honing in.
Uh-huh.
Oh, good. Good.
I mean, thank you for taking
the lead on the little dinner,
all the politics
and, you know, what-not.
Well, I'm pleased to help,
but I'm sensing some turbulence.
Uh-huh.
Shiv.
Oh. Shiv.
She runs hot.
She makes boogie men
out of the clothes she dumps
on her bedroom floor.
Always has.
Well, just as long as you don't
mind a bit of feedback.
A few noses are out of joint.
Strong French feelings.
I'm worried I might get blinded
with a baguette.
Just say Rhea beats her dog
or boyfriend or I don't know.
Uh... Dad would love that.
The thing you think is ammo
is not ammo.
We need to be clear, direct,
with a line of attack.
You know,
"liberal, duplicitous."
"She's a two-faced snowflake
with cum on her dress."
Tell her to ask about Rose.
- Oh, shit.
- Yup!
This sounds schemey.
Redolent of thwart.
Yeah. How do you feel about
oozing a bit near Rhea?
Just, you know, sorta...
Sorta what?
Well, you know, get--
get a bit giggly.
Work it.
But so that my dad can see.
I mean, it doesn't kill her,
but everything helps.
I have this idea that maybe Rhea
can mention in a toast.
- Lob a little grenade?
- Yeah.
Are you pimping me out?
No, no. Nothing crazy, Tom.
Just make her laugh.
Work the arms a bit.
Have a bit of elbow sex.
The woman who my terrifying boss
is obsessed with?
You want me to flirt with her?
Tom, come on. Not--
Not dirty flirty.
Just hurty flirty.
Kendall, you ready
to wind up Rhea?
-Did you fuck with her?
-Yeah.
Let's try Rose out on her.
See if she gets a clip
on the ears.
-Hey, this is great. It's great.
-Yeah, um...
Yeah... Do you--
Do you think it would be okay
if I made a little toast?
I mean, I don't want
to piss anybody off.
Yeah, absolutely.
You could, um...
You could toast his mother,
Helen.
- Oh, right.
- And, uh...
I don't know,
maybe mention Rose,
his sister Rose
who is no longer with us.
He might appreciate that.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, sure.
Evening, one and all.
I know I'm the new nut
in the trail mix,
but, um...
I just wanted to thank you all
for joining, and to...
congratulate
our implacable plaque unveiler.
And, uh,
given tomorrow's honor...
let's raise our glasses
to those...
who are with us tonight
in absentia.
- Logan's mother Helen.
- To Helen.
And his sister Rose.
So... cheers, everyone.
- Cheers.
- Slàinte mhath.
This is some lunch.
Everybody's offended
by everything.
Wow. Well done. Look at you,
fitting right in,
like a camp counselor
in my butt when I was 12.
Is that Keats?
Anonymous.
I see your thing.
It's good. It works.
You're kinda like a peppy,
fun-gun set to "MILF,"
with like, a...
Lean In, woman-y branding thing
that works well
with the Fitbit-moron-whatever
people.
I'm a sort of butterfly
in the ointment:
colorful but wriggly.
I could see us collaborating.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, you can see that?
Yeah, buttering up
the old dunce, huh?
-Nice work. Fuck off.
-No.
-I get your rep.
-Mm-hm.
Some labels take a while
to peel off,
but I happen to think you have
the best instincts
of all of them.
Well, bullshit, but thank you.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, this is where
the party's at. Look at us,
all the cool and the beautiful
people in one spot.
This is like the VIP area,
right here.
Right? It should be, like,
cordoned off
with, a-- like, a velvet rope,
a bit of VIP bondage.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey, Pa, so, listen.
-Uh... The play--
-Yeah, I'm sorry that we, uh--
-we didn't, um...
-No worries.
No, it's just costing
a pretty penny and...
a few financial worries
starting to bubble.
-Be good to chat.
-Yeah, don't worry, son.
I'm sure you'll work it out.
Uh... So... So, Rhea, where's,
uh-- where's home for you?
Home was all over.
And did I hear that
your mother-- Is this true,
she volunteers
for the Democratic Socialists?
Oh, my!
God, folks, watch out,
we've got a libtard
in the punch bowl.
Quick, hide your pay stubs
before she takes more federal.
Uh... Yeah, we don't see
eye to eye on everything.
Oh, right.
Oh, uh, I'm sorry, none for her.
She doesn't drink.
Um...
Well, I, uh, sip.
But-- But--
N-- No, not really, no.
Oh. Yeah. Sorry, I...
Well, not a great deal. Um...
I'm pretty sure,
maybe just a drop
if you can fit it in there.
For a toast.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
- Well, here's a toast.
- Oh. Great.
I guess I just wanna say
how great it is
to have everyone we know
and love in one place
to celebrate our dad's life.
- Yeah. Hear, hear.
- Hear, hear.
Shout out to Rhea for planning
a wonderful funeral.
I mean, uh...
memorial.
No, uh, evening.
Oh, please...
It's my honor to salute a man...
who will one day bury us all,
no doubt.
- Hear, hear.
- Happy days.
- Hear, hear. Cheers.
- Cheers.
Cheerio, Dad.
To Dad.
I have one in my backside.
Just don't scratch it.
Oh, God. I feel like
it's weirder with one protester.
Like, you don't know whether
to make eye contact, or...
Well, he really went with
the first draft on that one.
Still, to be fair,
it's pretty effective.
Apparently,
it's less offensive over here.
It's like calling someone
a buddy.
Look at this shit.
Are you kidding me?
If this place was in Brooklyn,
it'd be worth five mil, easy.
This is, like, fine.
- It's totally fine.
- Yeah. Yeah.
I'd live here.
I mean, I wouldn't
but someone could.
I mean, you told me
he lived in an open sewer
and was raised by rats
but this is...
Yeah, you should go peek
in that window.
That's for sure a bathroom.
And this fucker is pre-war.
There's no way Dad shat
in a bucket.
This stuff's
making it worse.
And I feel like this stuff
is attracting midges.
My sand mites are getting
bitten by midges.
Just stop.
-I'm just uncomfortable
in my skin right now.
-Just stop.
Oh, here we go.
Has it changed much?
Yeah... Everything.
What's he doing?
Okay. There it is.
What am I supposed to do?
I think maybe a photo.
They've said you can go in.
No. Thank you.
Let's go.
- Wait. Wait.
- What the fuck?
Ah. Memories.
Uh...
So, I have an update.
Oh, yeah?
James Weissel. We don't really
want to bother your dad.
- We know he's enjoying this.
- Oh. Uh-huh.
There's a call,
and we might like your input.
- That okay?
- Yeah.
So, we made the threat/offer
to Mr. Weaselman.
Five rising to ten.
But he said no.
He said no to ten?
Why would he say no to ten mil?
I don't know, playing hardball?
We need this to go away,
- so I'm gonna double the offer.
- Yeah.
Anything to get him
to roll, right?
Yeah, right. Sounds smart.
Okay. So, I just wanted
to let you know.
Nice to keep your dad
in a good mood
for the festivities.
Absolutely.
Mr. Roy.
So happy you could make it.
Well, let's see
what my money bought, shall we?
- Everything's state of the art.
- Hmm.
Inking, web-offset press.
We like to say,
we've got a better set up
than most UK papers.
Wow.
A whole school for how to intern
at a clickbait aggregator?
Yeah.
"Ten reasons
why you're never getting paid."
I'm sorry, I have to ask.
Why are you trying to fuck me?
Trying to fuck you?
What do you mean?
Rose.
We both know what that was.
If anything, I'm just, uh,
mildly offended on behalf
of my sister and Frank, Gerri.
And I wonder about the optics,
but, uh,
hey, my dad knows, so...
-Yeah?
-Even so.
I don't know
how you've done it, frankly.
What with everything
you've been through.
Uh-huh.
You're good, though.
Right.
-Thank you.
-No.
You're good,
but you're still
in the rock tumbler right now.
You're not ready.
I'm good.
I mean, I'm over my shit.
And I've met someone new.
I mean, she is fantastic.
And, uh, so, yeah, I'm--
I'm not in the place
you think I'm in.
No, it's okay.
But when we're out
on the other side of this all...
it's you.
I'm telling you now.
It's always been you.
Well...
thank you.
I don't know about that,
but thank you.
Um... They're asking if you want
to stay for lunch.
Fuck, no.
I'll be sure to feed that back
to them. "Fuck, no." Got it.
Ah. Look who made it.
Are you going to change
the name of the airport, too?
As you fly off?
Marcia call you?
No. Your new one.
Oh, right.
The Logan Roy
School of Journalism.
What's next?
The Jack the Ripper
Women's Health Clinic?
You, uh, had a poke
around the town?
I've seen enough.
You've been spreading your name
all over this place
like it was graffiti.
They tried to get me
to go into the old house.
Another plaque.
I saw a mistle thrush
at the bandstand.
Sure, you did.
Oh, this old bastard.
I used to keep a log
of the birds I'd see.
Your grandpa would go through it
and scrub out the ones
he didn't believe I'd seen.
You were always fairly generous
with your sightings.
- Yeah.
- Hello, valued shareholder,
- you will soon have
a critical decision to make...
- What the fuck is this?
...regarding your investment
in Waystar.
They're fucking
robocalling me now.
I was gonna say,
it's nice to see you and, uh,
and the old brother
having a chat.
Yeah, well...
Yeah,
he's a tough old bird.
-But-- But he's, uh-- he's--
-He's morally bankrupt.
He's a nothing man
who may well be...
more personally responsible
for the death of this planet...
than any other
single human being.
He also makes
the Kalispitron franchise,
which is, uh, you know,
solid, mediocre entertainment.
In terms of the lives
that will be lost
by his whoring
for the climate change deniers,
there's a very persuasive
argument to be made...
that he's worse than Hitler.
Right, well...
And I'd appreciate it
if you'd stop working for him.
Okay, um, well...
so, I have moved up
significantly,
and this might sound dumb,
but maybe I can kind of work it
from the inside,
-and that way--
-If you refuse,
I think it's
well within my rights...
to remove your name
from amongst the beneficiaries
of my last will and testament.
Okay.
Because that's-- that's
quite a pretty penny.
Around 250 mil.
And I'm sure Greenpeace would be
very much obliged.
No, de-- definitely, that is
quite a pickle.
- Mm.
- That is a tough one.
- Dude.
- Hey, brother.
Oh, my God,
you smell like cotton candy.
I almost want to lick your neck.
Thanks for coming, man.
My dad'll be very pleased
when he sees, you know,
old friends and...
Hi, yes, sir. Yeah, I'll take
one of those golden beauties.
What's this?
Scottish.
I'm thinking of getting in.
Scottish kicky-ball?
It looks like two eunuchs
trying to fuck a letterbox.
I'm liking the look of Hibs.
Or Hearts.
-Yeah?
-Mm.
Hearts, that's my dad's team.
The only childhood relic
he can stomach.
-Agent in Spain, big baller.
-Mm-hm.
I buy the club, he loans me
nine shit hot players.
- Mm-hm.
- We climb the ladder,
take the second
Champion's League space,
UEFA goes
full European super-league,
flip it, walk away.
I have no idea
what you're talking about,
but it sounds
fucking slick, dude.
Slicker than cum
on a dolphin's back.
You want in?
Hm. Maybe.
Uh... But can we talk about
what we talked about?
You know, a major injection,
or even taking us private.
Have you talked to your dad?
It's a conversation we can have.
Then we should totally have
that fucking conversation,
like two fucking auctioneers
on coke.
I have total 360 latitude
to work on my father's behalf.
Oh, cool. Same with me,
with my dad, yeah.
Fuck, it's weird how much
we're the same.
Attaboy.
Sock it in the net sack,
you crazy kick ball bastards.
-Buy them with me.
-Hmm?
Fifty-fifty.
Buy the-- them? The...
Uh... Yeah, let me have a think.
I mean, I don't really
see a downside, other than...
zero knowledge or interest
in Scottish football,
but yeah, let me have
a little think. Hearts.
Are you just looking
at golf courses?
Like golf porn.
Am I allowed to take
those soaps in the bathroom?
Yeah. Fuck it, take it all.
Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hey, Connor.
-Whatcha doing?
-Uh... We're just getting ready.
Good.
What time's--
Uh... What time's the thing?
I don't think the big surprise
is until eight.
-So...
-Willa asked me to check in,
'cause Jennifer is, like,
a key member of the cast.
Would it be possible
to send Jennifer back
to be on stage?
Well, no, I'm afraid,
because Jennifer and I are
currently engaged
in one of the all-time great
psychosexual expeditions.
We're like the Lewis and Clarke
of fucking.
Come on, man.
I'm begging you here.
I-- I'm bleeding out.
I can't afford this.
I'm sorry, dude,
but, uh, that's showbiz.
- I am very unhappy
with this outcome.
I-- I know. I'm sorry.
Not wanting to put a dampener
on Rhea's celebrations
or anything, but it's time
we killed her dead.
Smash her skull in
with a rock.
- Nice.
- Okay.
Way to ease us in, sis.
Will there be nibbles
at this event?
I was expecting nibbles.
What I'm thinking is
we just-- We tell him direct.
We just tell him, all of us,
we won't have it.
- Should I maybe take the floor?
- Okay.
Would Rhea really be
the worst thing in the world?
Or does a woman from outside
actually make sense right now?
Okay, right. Well,
she-- she got to you.
No. Just--
I'm fighting on two fronts
and I might have to make
a request to Dad
about a bridge situation,
-and she's been understanding.
-This is bullshit. Ken?
- Well...
- Well?
Oh, come on.
Oh sh-- You're backing her too,
rebounder?
No, I-- I just...
- I just think that maybe...
- You just...? You are.
...you've overplayed your hand.
Excuse me?
How did she get to you?
Oh, you think you'll be given
another shot at some point,
ever? No.
-And, Roman, you? No.
-Ah, well, I mean...
No, she thinks you're a dipshit,
or maybe you're just too much of
a fucking dipshit to see that.
Fuck you. I know more
about this business than you.
-More than any of you, actually.
-Oh, Roman, no one gives a fuck
-about management training.
-Dad does. Gerri does.
It's corporate daycare.
That's not a good retort!
- Don't fucking laugh at that.
- Shiv.
- Thanks for taking this
seriously.
- I do.
It's just... It's transparent.
- Uh...
- You know,
Rhea's who Dad wants.
Clearly. So...
But he's wrong.
Yeah, but--
- In case you want it in writing.
- Maybe, you know,
you should just, like--
like, give it up.
Full disclosure,
I'm starting to like her.
Hmm. He likes her.
Yeah, this is why you don't
hatch a plan with Connor,
the first fucking pancake.
First pancake. Okay, thank you.
You're a brat. You know,
none of you have been through
what I've been through,
so just...
Aw! My mommy
got sent to the booby hatch
-and now I'm sad.
-Fuck off.
I think you're being
too emotional
about this whole thing.
- Oh, my fucking God.
- I think he's trying...
-Are you doing
the emotional card on me?
-...to mansplain things to you.
-Fuck's sake.
-I mean...
I mean,
I was gonna mansplain it to you,
but I think he did
a very good job.
Roman, Kendall and Connor.
Basically,
it was a fucking disaster.
- Well, I'm sorry.
- No, we just need to...
let him know,
be very direct:
she tried to put her hands
down your pants.
No!
Seriously? That's not
a normal thing to ask?
Not actually say that
she tried to-- I don't know.
And I mean because also, maybe,
there is a world
in which Rhea...
makes more sense... for me
is the-- is the truth. Maybe.
Excuse me?
The woman who you barely know
makes more sense
to you than your wife?
Oh, come on, it's complicated.
Your dad is complicated.
You think if you kill Rhea,
he's just gonna give it
back to you automatically?
No.
Okay, well, Tom,
I won't give up.
I won't.
He made me a fucking offer,
and I'm gonna
redeem that coupon.
So, we got, uh,
the Lord Provost,
the Chamber of Commerce,
Leader of the Council...
What? 20 to 30 faces?
-Is that right?
-I don't know.
Je suis pas ta secretaire.
Uh-huh.
Uh... Look, you stay
as long as you like,
I'm gonna bolt after the soup,
say I have calls.
I just wanna get the fuck out.
Okay.
Feting the king.
Tacitus comes to mind.
Yeah, yeah. Tacitus.
Classic Tacitus.
He's made a wasteland
and calls it an empire.
God, Tacitus...
He just-- just--
All killer, no filler with him.
Did he ever have a bad quote?
Have you tendered
your resignation?
Just working that out
in the old noggin still.
Whoa.
Apparently...
we may be suffering
from bad buzz.
Whatever good buzz we had
has been wiped out
by pervasive bad buzz.
Okay, news. Huddle.
Okay, everyone.
Here we go. Here we go.
Okay, everybody.
Um... Bright eyes,
and let's see those chompers.
Surprise!
Jesus H. Christ!
They're all in there!
I mean, I-- I--
I saw Peter fucking Magillan.
Uh... Fucking Cyd.
Jeff Greenway.
I mean, fuck me.
I-- I thought
it was supposed to be a--
-You know, a steak and a chat.
-Rhea thought it would be nice.
Well...
Shall we?
Oh.
Wow.
I've never seen these.
Yeah, look at that.
I think that's...
maybe the Denver Chronicle.
I interned there.
Everything okay?
Oh. Yeah.
It's--
Word got around
that I'm over here
and people from the play
are super-pissed.
Oh. Don't worry, don't worry.
We'll figure it out. Yeah?
Okay. Okay.
So, this was actually
a pretty tough situation
with the distribution,
-but my dad did this amazing--
-Has anyone ever told you
that you talk about your dad,
like... a lot?
Okay. Uh...
No, I don't think they have.
I wasn't trying to be nasty,
I was just
pointing something out.
No, it's cool, he's--
he's just a major presence
in our lives.
Do you want to say hi?
-Okay. Yeah.
-Yeah? Yeah.
-I mean, he looks kind of busy.
-Let's go. Yeah, no, no, no.
- I want you to meet my dad.
- Okay.
He's gonna love you.
I've got a proposition for you.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
So, we've got this opportunity
for you to become involved
financially in Willa's play,
which I don't know
if you've been hearing,
but the buzz is excellent.
-Hmm. Hmm.
-You know?
So, I'd really like to talk
to you about that,
-if I could. Just, you know...
-Uh...
Hey, Dad. This is Jennifer.
- Hi.
- Ah.
Pleasure to meet you.
It's nice to meet you, too.
Yeah, and congratulations, too.
This is so awesome.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Jennifer's
really amazing, and, uh...
- Thanks.
- Uh-huh.
-She's in theatre.
-Ah.
Well, not really.
Well...
I mean, you are. You are...
- You are.
- Shh.
Anyways, this is so awesome.
Yes, it is.
I, uh...
I should really mingle, uh...
- So good to meet you.
- Yeah.
Seen Kendall's latest?
Uh... Yeah.
Mind like a balloon.
Uh-huh.
Hey, uh, you wanna...
You wanna call a truce
for tonight?
Okay.
I got you something.
Oh. Thank you.
Nice.
Oh, nice houses.
-Uh-huh. Yeah, these are...
-Lovely.
These are our houses, Dad.
-They're all ours.
-Really?
Yeah. Malibu.
-Uh-huh.
-You remember...
Huh. Quality work.
Don't like the past
too much, huh?
I do. I do.
It's, uh... it's just
there's so much of it.
The future is real, but...
the past, well, it's...
Yeah. Um...
It's all made up.
It's, um... bad this time.
She doesn't drink...
Uh... She's got my contacts
and everyone, everyone is here.
And I didn't know a thing.
Yeah.
-She's blue, you know?
-Uh-huh.
She's liberal.
Well, yeah, but so am I.
-Yeah, but you fucking get it.
-Kinda--
You fucking get it. You know?
I mean, she told me she drank.
I shared a whisky with her.
-Mm-hm.
-Prick tease.
Oh, we don't use that anymore.
Oh, yeah. I know, I know.
All sorts of useful fucking
words have gone that way.
I'm worried.
- Don't worry, Dad.
- Is it--
Have I got it right?
Huh?
'Cause...
You're smart. You are smart.
I-- 'Scuse me,
sorry to interrupt.
Just wanted to, um,
ask you something
- about the procedures tonight.
- Oh, sure.
- Question about cake.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I, uh...
- I gotta go to the pisser.
- Okay.
- Where is it?
Just--
Oh, I think it's that way.
Hey.
Uncle Logs.
Hey, I just, uh--
I just wanted to say
"Happy Night."
Uh-huh.
I don't know, uh...
I don't know. I just wanted
to, uh...
It may be that
I've reached the end of the road
in terms of, uh--
of-- of like...
What?
My grandpa has made it clear
that if I want to secure
my future,
then I need to sever my links.
Negotiate a bit of a "Grexit."
Did he now?
It has been a pleasure, um...
work-- doing business with you,
and I've learned a lot.
And I hope that, um...
I hope that I brought something
to the table, too.
I like you, Greg.
Oh. O-- Okay. Right.
I do. I like you.
What did he say?
He threatened to cut me off.
He won't do that.
He's too much
of a fucking coward.
That's why his whole life
has amounted to nothing.
But you know, in the end,
it's up to you, kiddo. Hmm?
Yeah.
Uncle Fun...
or Grandpa Grumps.
So, I hereby convene the meeting
of the newly formed
"What the Fuck are We Gonna Do"
committee.
So we made the second threat
slash offer to Mr. Weissel
-and he said no.
-To what?
He said no to everything.
We offered 20 million dollars.
Didn't flinch.
No fear of the cost
of legal action.
Zero appetite to settle.
We asked for a number.
Any number.
- Apparently, this is no number.
- There's no number?
And there's obviously something
going on under the water.
-We think he has a backer?
-Who?
Could be anyone who has a grudge
against Waystar.
Get a phone book.
I mean, it's a very long list.
It's all likely to come out:
the shadow logs,
-NDA, domino unraveling.
-Oh, mother!
It's spiraling.
It's moving fast.
We hear the weasel. The weasel
is negotiating to go on TV
-and spill his guts. Yeah.
-Oh, fuck.
Uh-huh.
It's gonna be huge.
-Fuck.
It's gonna blow wide open.
Sour any CEO announcement.
The new face is gonna get ripped
to shreds.
Short term question is:
When... do we tell him?
Do we tell him tonight?
Anyone want to end the night
with a round
of Boar on the Floor?
Big picture,
I mean...
The weasel
is an existential threat.
Okay.
We give him the night off.
Let him enjoy the night.
We'll tell him tomorrow.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
And if I had to tell him
you made the call,
would you still be happy
with the call?
That's the call.
Uh... Good evening, everyone.
It's a pleasure to have you
here tonight
to honor my dad's life and work.
So, when Rhea was planning this,
she asked me to help out
with, um... with a little
tribute to the certain...
flavor.
And after a lot of convincing,
well...
Here we are.
Is he about to strip?
- Just remember
I'm not a professional.
- Think he's going to masturbate
onstage to a photo of Dad.
My boy Squiggle
cooked up this beat for me.
Check it.
♪ Born on the North Bank
King of the East Side ♪
♪ Fifty years strong now
He's rollin' in a sick ride ♪
♪ Handmade suits
Raking in loot ♪
- ♪ Five star general
Y'all best salute, yo ♪
- Oh, no.
- No. Jesus, no. No.
- Oh, my God!
Ken.W.A.
I mean it's...
it is burning my eyes,
but I cannot look away.
♪ L to the OG ♪
♪ Dude be the OG ♪
♪ A-N he playin' ♪
♪ Playin' like a pro, see ♪
♪ L to the OG ♪
♪ Dude be the OG ♪
♪ A-N he playin' ♪
♪ Playin' like a pro ♪
Make some noise!
♪ A1 ratings, 80K wine ♪
♪ Never gonna stop, baby
Fuck father time, bro ♪
♪ Don't get it twisted
I've been through hell ♪
♪ But since I stan Dad
I'm alive and well ♪
♪ Shaper of views
Creator of news ♪
♪ Father of many
Paid all his dues ♪
♪ So don't try to run
Your mouth at the king ♪
♪ Just pucker up, bitch
And go kiss the ring ♪
♪ L to the OG ♪
♪ Dude be the OG ♪
♪ A-N he playin' ♪
Make some noise!
♪ When I say L, you say OG ♪
♪ L to the... ♪
- ♪ L to the... ♪
- ♪ OG ♪
-♪ L to the... ♪
-You need to stop this.
-♪ L to the... ♪
-♪ OG ♪
♪ L to the... ♪
♪ L to the motherfucking OG ♪
I think this might be the end
of the company.
We might get sucked into
a black hole of embarrassment
that we never get out of.
Dundee
in the motherfucking house.
If I can get your attention.
Some appreciations of the man,
the legend, Logan Roy.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, everybody.
Um...
Yeah, you all know that I've
had my ups and downs...
you could say.
And, um...
What you might not know
is that my dad has been the one
who's been to meet me
at my lowest moments...
Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt.
You remember Eduard?
Just wanna say congrats
on a lifetime of kicking ass.
Thanks. I'm not dead yet.
Um... Also, I got you a present.
We actually got you a present.
We bought the Hearts.
Logan, happy anniversary...
-The Hearts?
-Mm-hm!
-Hearts Football Club?
-Mm-hm!
-Why?
-Why-- Because it's the Hearts.
It's your team.
-I'm Hibs.
-You're Hibs?
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
Are you sure?
I thought you were Hearts.
I'm pretty sure, Dad.
You know, maybe you're right.
How would I know what team
I supported all my fucking life?
I mean, maybe I support
Kilmarnock.
Or Fucklechester Rangers?
I mean, how can I fucking
possibly fucking know?
If it's any consolation,
I'm horrible at gift buying.
Yeah.
Always get the wrong thing.
Oh, hey, it's me. Watch it.
What can I say?
Congrats on a thousand years...
- Hey.
- Hey, Shiv.
Listen, I-- I really--
I really am...
wondering about this. Rhea.
Dad. Listen. You gotta do
what you think is right.
Yeah? That's all there is.
And she's the one.
For now, she's the one.
Hey, Dad. Congrats!
Uh...
Look, I know how you hate
all this bullshit,
so I'll just say...
"Fuck you, Dad,"
and I wish we were having wine
instead of being here
with all these people
who are scared of you.
Just try your gut. Yeah?
You can't give it to me
or anyone else
because of sentiment.
You know that.
Thank you, darling.
Thank you.
Yeah.
30 seconds to VT,
Mr. Roy.
You all right?
- Was it--
- Was it all too much?
I'm not crazy about surprises.
Uh...
I wasn't expecting
so many friendly faces.
I mean, you got me,
you bastards.
You know, you really got me.
Uh...
But seriously, no.
I'm touched.
Um...
Some people say
that I'm wedded to my work.
Just ask any of my wives.
But I'm amazed at what Waystar
has achieved
over the last 50 years.
And I'm proud of my family,
who have helped me get here.
And it seems to me that now,
after 50 years at the helm...
now might be a smart time
to think about...
who will help me write
the next chapter.
I'm gonna announce tonight,
in due course,
I shall be appointing...
Rhea Jarrell...
as my chief executive officer.
Statement to follow.
Hey! That was pretty intense.
Uh...
Yeah.
You, um...
You said--
You said "awesome" a lot.
What?
You said "awesome" a lot
when you were talking to my dad.
Did I? Okay.
I didn't notice that.
It's fine. It was just--
It was funny.
You're freezing. Let me--
Let me get your coat.
-I'll be right back.
-Okay.
Hey, can we get Jennifer
on the first flight outta here?
Sure thing. Everything okay?
Uh... Yeah. Good.
Maybe-- Hey. Hey, Tony.
Maybe, um... let her know
I might be tied up. Okay.
Excuse me.
-Nice night, eh?
-Mm-hm.
You okay?
You told me nothing
about you stepping aside. Why?
I apologize.
You broke something here.
I didn't like it...
when you told me
that I should sell my company.
You hear what you wanna hear,
then you punish me for something
I didn't say.
I may have made
some misjudgments.
You're careless.
-You've been careless of me.
-Marcia.
I'm bored. You are boring me.
Excuse me, it's time
for the plaque now, Mr. Roy.
- I'm going.
- Marcia.
Don't be fucking stupid.
It's a plaque.
Oh, God forbid,
I will miss the plaque. Right?
Your shiny little gravestone.
Guess you'll have to face
your reckoning alone.
Mother would have hated
all this.
And that trash you call news.
Now, we last saw her
when you were five...
and I was four...
but you know what kind
of journalism
she would've approved of?
I know she never would've
approved of what you've become.
What? Your meal ticket?
I'm just surprised
you're still standing.
Any other man would've died
from the shame.
-Uh-huh.
-It's hard to know
which is more toxic:
your news outlets
or your cruise division.
All those years blaming yourself
for Rose.
-I'm not interested.
-That really wasn't your fault.
This, though...
This is your fault.
This empire of shit.
Time to pay up.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is that time.
The Helen Elspeth Roy College!
Sexual exploitation,
violence, hidden by cover-ups
and corruption
inside Waystar.
Gregory Hirsch.
Is that someone known to you,
Mr. Wambsgams?
Uh, no, no, sorry.
No, Tom?
As the next CEO,
it might be wise to keep clean.
That scares me.
Any chance you guys have
the muscle to take us private?
Outside!
I can't have this now!
Ten bad minutes
on camera in D.C....
That could be it, the end.