Stormester (2018–…): Season 5, Episode 4 - Det perfekte gemmested - full transcript
I can't multitask!
- Take care, Mark.
- Lasse.
- How tight they are!
- Ew, how disgusting.
I can't any more!
- It's damn draft beer.
- Sure.
Good evening. Welcome to Stormester.
What can your imagination do under pressure?
I asked that question to five well-known Danes.
My name is Lasse Rimmer. I decide who
deserves a scolding and who deserves a toast.
Will it be Linda P tonight?
Could it be Simon Talbot?
Maybe Sofie Jo Kaufmanas.
Perhaps Jonas Mogensen? Or Tobias Rahim?
I'm in a great mood tonight,
flanked by my faithful squire -
- Mark le Fêvre.
Le Fêvre is, as far as I understand,
French and means "the pearl diver".
- No ...
- I'm pretty sure it does.
Your chair looks different than it usually does.
That's because my mom watches the show.
"Why does Lasse have a bigger and nicer chair?"
I said to her, "I think that, too, is a mistake."
Do you like it?
I can see it.
The five participants compete for prizes.
The season prize: the golden trophy.
In every single program there is also
something to fight about.
A prize taken by one participant.
Something they're motivated to win back.
It should be a little close to their heart.
Sofie, you brought something with you.
I have brought my reservation to
the Alchemist restaurant with me.
You may be thinking "boring",
but it isn't for me.
I haven't been able to taste or smell anything
for ten months. I had the coronavirus in December.
It is gone. So I need to boost myself -
- with a 50-course meal at a
double Michelin-starred restaurant.
It should also be mentioned that if I lose -
- one of these idiots is going out
to dinner with my boyfriend.
- He would be fucking mad about that.
- Mark, we're ready.
What are we going to do?
- We get to meet Jeanne, who is Swedish.
- No, no.
She does not know who the participants are. Yes.
Hi, Mark le Feng Shui.
- Hello.
- Hi hi.
- Hi there.
- Do you speak English?
I'll sit down, and you have the ... the block.
- Mark. Hello.
- Hi there.
Again? Hello. Sofie.
Do you speak Swedish? I do not.
Hi tul-la-hop [babbling in Swedish]
- Where are you from?
- Sweden.
Convince this Swede that you are
the most famous person on Stormester.
Everything you say must be true.
The participant who the Swede
considered to be the most famous wins.
- You have ten minutes.
- Time starts now.
Do you watch a lot of Danish television? No.
What a wildly uncomfortable task.
Well ... Then I have to brag.
That's not a challenge, Mark.
The inspiration for this task:
What would I really not want to do myself?
How many of you liked this task? No.
It was very uncomfortable.
I had a breakdown.
You broke down along the way?
Something about becoming a public face is -
- anxiety-provoking. It's a little fucked up.
People know who you are when
you shop, buy nasty stuff.
We can just review the rules
very briefly for this task.
You had ten minutes to convince the sweet,
Swedish Jeanne that you were the most famous.
There is then one rule:
one must only say true things.
It is Jeanne who acts as the judge here.
Subordinate who really is the most famous.
I can't be in it at all.
- Who do we start with?
- None of us!
We have to get out of it.
We'll see Jonas, Linda and Tobias.
I'm glad I've been clipped along with others.
I became known very quickly.
Yes, I'm a musician.
On DR I made "Skråplan".
I did some standup.
And something called "Winnie and Karina".
- Entertainer.
- One-woman shows, I've had seven of those.
- Artist.
- Then I made a TV series.
It says "most watched". Then I am number four.
It's better to explain why I'm the best known
by telling about the others in the program.
I think that they have used my name
to get the other participants involved.
I can tell you that Simon Talbot has made ...
- He has ...
- I once met Tom Hanks.
I can't really say anything about the rest of the
participants, since I don't know them. That says a bit ...
Do you remember "ER"?
The one playing ... Was her name Maggie?
I have also met her.
Do you like country?
And I've been to the same comedy club as Chris Rock.
I did not perform, but ...
You were watching Chris Rock?
- Yes yes.
- "If Jesus was Arab ..." [singing along the lyrics]
When I'm at Street Food I notice that sometimes
there's some who are having a look in my direction.
Those two ... Hey! Do you know my name?
What is my name? That's how famous I am.
But I have a gold card for Denmark's best burger.
- I'm pretty well known in West Africa.
- It gives a 20% discount on burgers.
I've been on TV a lot with my music in Ghana.
It's card #165.
They've only given it to 164 before me.
And time's up.
It's incredible you were afraid to brag.
You were brain dead good at it.
He was good at saying, "I met ...".
Linda ... It's cheating that she placed extras.
- They've got quite a lot of money to yell my name.
- Tobias, you're a name in West Africa.
I had a depression in Denmark and went to Ghana.
I actually became a household name.
Under the nickname Toby Tabu.
From three famous people and those Jonas has met -
- on to other famous people.
Who are we going to see now?
Simon and Sofie must convince Jeanne with a few truths.
They have done impressive things.
Apparently, Sofie has made life-saving medicine -
- and is really bad at reading tasks.
I'm not used to saying how famous I am.
It’s like this unsaid thing in the room.
With great fame comes great responsibility.
- I've made ... everything.
The Opera House, do you know that?
I recorded my last show there.
Do you know Twitch? I got five million views.
Do you watch a lot of Danish television in Sweden?
No. Then you probably have not seen me
interview the Queen, which I just did.
Five one-man shows. In English too. 214,000 followers.
Russell Howard ... That's me. Simon Talbot! Oh my God!
It's easily going to sound like a lie.
I have also developed medicine.
When I was six years old, I was in
the Weekly Magazine in Skanderborg.
A child star.
You still have a few minutes to tell true stories.
I'm so known that I don't even have to say it.
I must not lie, remember!
- I'm that famous!
- What is it you've been doing for the last ten minutes?
I've actually just insisted that I'm famous.
- How long does it take before it dawns on you that
you have overlooked a rule? - Eight minutes.
You said you made insulin?
That you had invented ... insulin!
- She's disqualified, right?
- We return to the ranking.
Simon says he does not like this,
and then you are surprisingly good.
One just has to be unpleasant enough for long enough.
The Weekly Magazine in Skanderborg, Twitch,
Russell Howard. Yes! Also Twitch, yes.
You all made a really good effort.
But the points are awarded by Jeanne.
How are they distributed, Mark?
The truth must be heard from ... I was just about to
say "drunk children" ... but also from Swedes.
Let us hear:
Yes man! Yes! Yes!
This task was about convincing a person about -
- who is best known. Simon Talbot was best at that.
Sofie is the least known of you.
A single point. But you broke the rules.
So the one point you've got,
I'll take it straight from you again.
That's completely fair.
- The overall position, Mark?
- Simon Talbot is in the lead.
In fact, I think we need a more simple task.
A really strenuous one. With a stupid coconut.
Hi, Mark. Is it a riding arena?
- Do you ride?
- Never.
- Hi, Mark le Fersken med flødeskum [peach with whipped cream].
- Hi, Linda.
- Coconut.
- A square.
It's a real coconut.
- Hide the coconut in Mark.
- No. Or what?
- Are you a teaser?
- Hide the coconut from Mark.
The coconut must be hidden inside the square.
- Best hidden coconut wins.
- Mark arrives in 20 minutes.
- Time starts now.
- Enjoy.
It is fun. Okay. Exciting.
- Yes.
- Do we have a rake?
It's a study of how good Mark is at solving a task.
You had 20 minutes to hide a coconut
for me inside the square.
You win if I take a very long time to find it.
The rules are so simple.
Who should we first see hide a coconut?
We must first see Tobias and Linda.
One of them draws on the puzzling world of psychology.
There is no shame in falling for it, I would say.
You have to hide it normally -
- and then afterwards trick him.
If you trick the little stupid person.
That's it. I myself would have difficulty finding it.
- Hey, Linda!
- What's up?
- Are you good at hiding things?
- I'm reasonably good at it.
- Has there been a horse in here?
- It's a riding arena, isn't it?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- There are a lot of squares around here, Mark.
I did not expect he was as stupid as he looked.
- Where are you?
- He has stepped on it three times.
It's magical that he believes in anything I say.
- Get started now. Mark, for hell.
- What do you think it looks like?
I almost think he has suffered enough. Mark!
Come on!
Damned.
- Oh!
- Holy shit.
It's inside the square.
You have stepped on it already.
If you had just stayed there, you could have
saved yourself a tremendous round trip.
See you, Mark.
I'm totally wet from sweat. Soaked.
I actually hurt my wrist a bit. Ouch, damn it.
You can go home for today. You've done well.
There usually is at least one participant
who makes me say: You disappoint me.
I have to look to the left.
All it takes is the sentence:
"There are a lot of squares."
And then Mark rushes to the horizon!
Genuine. I didn't think he would be so easy.
This is the first time I managed
to feel a little sorry for you.
Mark, what are the times?
I found Tobias' coconut after
8 minutes and 30 seconds.
After I cracked Linda's mental spin:
- 10 minutes and 12 seconds.
- I thought it was much longer.
- There were two. Who is number three?
- Jonas Mogensen.
I want to emphasize once again:
That task was tiring.
Do we have a shovel?
There was a car.
Then it's just about finding a coconut.
Is it up under the car?
Remember the parking brake.
"Couldn't it be fun to be a participant?"
A resounding no.
Can you come out then, you stupid coconut!
I've overlooked something.
It's in the car. I can tell.
Oh hell. Have I overlooked something or what?
Were you standing inside the square when I arrived?
Where did you hide it?
I'm wearing such hanging pants.
You must have hidden it well.
There must be a nut somewhere!
- It's hard work, right?
- Yes yes.
- Have I not looked in that stupid car?
- In the way I often look.
- Then Louise says, "Shall I look?"
- Shall we call Louise?
- Hello!
- It's Mark.
He's hidden a coconut that I need to find.
Where would Jonas hide a coconut?
Did he dig a hole in the sand
or hide it in a car?
Or is he more about hiding it on his body, maybe?
- I think so.
- I'll try that. Thanks for your help.
What the hell is going on?
Found!
I found it.
It's good enough.
Your wife is hundreds of miles away from the square.
- "He has it on his body."
- It was a little hard in the end.
Well, you suffered too. But I had to
hold it between my thighs.
It's rough as hell, I must say.
Halfway through, I got the long coat bummed
from you and then I could just let go.
It just lay there.
How long did it take you to find that coconut -
- between Jonas Mogensen's inner thighs?
I dig for 32 minutes.
And we all enjoyed those 32 minutes.
Now we have seen three hidden coconuts.
We are missing two bids. Who do we see first?
We need Sofie, who actually comes up
with a pretty ingenious plan.
She closely studies the area -
- and finds the potential for an ingenious solution.
This is completely ... bulletproof.
Which coconut should I hide? This one.
What does it look like? These ones.
I'll put it down here. That's damn good.
So. Perfect.
It is then absolutely perfect.
Shut up, how good.
Mark should be welcome.
It's absolutely brilliant.
- God, how annoying.
- Time starts now.
- Come on, mouse man.
- I'm in the process.
Time! Time!
That's cheating.
I hate this task.
- Mark, it's ...
- Then there's coconut.
It took you 1 minute and 32 seconds.
- It's a really good day.
- I had expected something along 17 hours.
But it is a good idea to hide many.
Your strategy is to fool Mark.
When it does not succeed, you felt
wronged and say, "That's cheating."
I think Mark has put a GPS into the coconut.
- You're desperate now.
- That was my first thought out there.
- There's a GPS in the coconut.
- So I got radiation?
Are we going to mention how Mark fell over that ...
Shut up, how stupid it looked.
- We can see the clip again.
- Yes please.
Even when you are about to taste the
sweetness of victory, you will be mocked.
I know it's the right one because it has
a color under the bottom.
We need to see Simon Talbot.
Are you just as good at finding his?
No.
"Put on an old sweater ... " [lyrics of an old Danish classic]
What have you done, you stupid kid?
You can just start leading.
- There is no square!
- You're so stressed, Mark.
What is the square?
Search all you want. You will never find
the coconut or your dignity.
Oh! Yes, that was a good ...
Yes, try that solution.
I think it's it.
What does the task say, Mark?
"Yes, what does the task say?"
Oh ...
You're not breaking me, Mark. 58 minutes.
- I cannot find it.
- Nah. That's it. Time!
Well no, it's still going.
Where is it? Where's that coconut?
Even when you come so aggressively towards
Simon, you still fail to put him down.
I've been so terrible, so it was so nice
just to be able to stand there like ...
It was such a joy.
It doesn't say that you must not move the square.
It's easier to hide the square somewhere in
Northern Zealand than to hide a coconut in the square.
This coconut has never been found.
No.
We haven't really found the square yet either.
- You filmed when he did it.
- Shall we see it?
We're pretty close to the water, are we?
Coconut! In the square!
It was outside the square.
Good luck! Job's done.
One task, yes.
Simon Talbot, time still runs.
You are an unmatched winner.
Max points to Simon Talbot.
The points among the other four?
1 point for Sofie ...
I found the coconut real fast.
Two to Tobias. Three to Linda.
Four points for you, Jonas.
While the five of you and Mark are
out solving tasks in my house -
- I get an invoice for 80 liters of milk
and 18 pounds of cheese.
There are two possible answers to this:
You have snacked through all these tasks.
You owe me a task that I remember I wrote.
- Hi, Mark.
- Hi, Mark le Feinschmecker [connoisseur].
This is your residence?
That's what could be afforded?
- I do not get paid.
— A little house for a little man.
Is it semi-skimmed milk?
I would take a cotton ball around the corners.
Make an original re-creation -
- of a landmark event.
- Okay.
- A re-creation.
- It must be made from dairy products.
- It just got even harder.
Ten minutes for a shopping list. Then 20 minutes -
- to perform the landmark event.
- Time starts now.
- How the hell do you do that?
That's fun.
Everyone loves EM '92 [European Football Championship 1992].
- I need a liter of milk.
- A lot of raspberry foam. As big a bun as possible.
A tub of whole milk. What else do we need?
I would like a lot of brie.
- Parmesan and white chocolate.
- A Riberhus cheese. Goat cheese. Whipped cream.
- Half brie, half white chocolate.
- A large block of cheese.
- A whole lot of Ostehapsere [kids’ snack cheese]
- I think that's it, Mark.
Who were we playing against?
Wasn't it ... Croatia?
We'll come back to that, Sofie.
There should not be so many questions?
Recreate a landmark moment in dairy products.
Who gets the landmark event recreated
in the most original way?
Who breaks loose first?
Jonas Mogensen. How is it with you and cheese?
- I hate that shit.
- Let's see how it went.
- What's up?
- All that cheese.
- Can you see what it is?
- It looks like sand.
This is the sea, this. There's foam on it.
- What is this?
- Can't you see it?
This is the relocation of Rubjerg Knude Fyr.
October 22nd 2019. 70 meters.
That's the sea. That's the lighthouse.
There is nothing more to say.
Those are the tracks it was pulled along.
You can't remember where you were that day?
It was the horror scenario of
what could have happened.
- Are you satisfied?
- Yes, yes.
It was a local contractor who took on that task.
- "Do you have experience?" "Nah."
- "I can do that," he said.
Why do you choose to order so much cheese?
What the hell else was I supposed to
make sand out of? I'm stupid too.
I couldn't think of something that looks like sand.
Let's try to compare your reconstruction -
- with the actual relocation of
Rubjerg Knude Fyr. Yes, yes ...
And it's from memory.
I followed the event all day.
They live streamed it on Facebook.
- It's a nice solution, Jonas.
- That was good.
- What are we going to see now?
- Linda P's birth.
That I also live streamed.
A local Jutland contractor said:
"I can do that."
According to you it was a one to one rendering.
Medical science may not agree ...
Let us see the case.
Hi, Mark le Fængselsstraf for at være
så tåbelig [jail sentence for being so foolish].
- A bathtub. Can you get it?
- You do not want yourself?
I've had surgery for a slipped disc.
- What have you done?
- Well I ...
- It's very private, Mark.
- Oh.
- Ah, my finger!
- I gave birth by caesarean section.
So that bathtub is not necessary either.
We need to put this in here.
There's a lot of blood inside the stomach.
Uhm.
The tits.
- One, two, three.
- Push!
Oops! Pardon. It should be up here at the breasts.
Shut up, it tastes good. The task is over.
It's one to one how I remember the birth.
- That's five points, I think.
- There are many fine features.
I'm going to win this one.
Because my feature is a little finer.
But I enjoy yours too.
I doubt it will be as subtle as mine.
So what landmark event should we experience?
Simon Talbot's bid. If I say Titanic -
- there are those like Simon
who think of a movie from '97.
It's going to be good.
Um ... Yes.
- That's the damn Titanic.
- God, that's the Titanic.
Tuuu!
I'm the king of the world!
Every night in my dreams.
No, Jack! No!
Lower the lifeboats!
We can't be this many in the lifeboats!
Of course we can! It is German quality.
Arh!
Don't you worry, Rose.
Jack, Jack, I love you.
Uhuhu!
You can feel it ... I got caught up in it.
Sleep well, Jack. Sleep well.
- Yes ...
- That movie is ruined forever.
James Cameron's film is three hours long,
but I don't really miss anything from the story.
You have all of it. Where can you be
hired to make sound effects?
You just go to titanicsounds.dk.
I can do nothing but:
Every night in my dreams!
They want more. I'll see you!
You could be big in Ghana.
It was the landmark event of the movie
about the sinking of the Titanic. Next?
Tobias orders only a few things.
Is it a small event?
Truly just the origins of modern man.
I'm thinking of a researcher -
- called Terrence McKenna or something.
What had created humans were monkeys
that had eaten mushrooms.
What a nice material to work in.
It is the link between monkey and man.
Oh boy.
Here is the monkey. The monkey out hunting.
Find a mushroom. Eat the mushroom.
Gets a psychedelic experience and becomes human.
It boils over in my head of good things.
Ohh, I'm getting trauma.
Bad experiences in my childhood.
I reconcile with them.
I'm getting stronger now.
I'm getting a little hippie-like.
I'm not as liberal as I used to be.
I have a sense of community.
It's only a theory I've seen on YouTube.
- It should be right, then.
- Yes. History teaching in brie.
A monkey eats psychedelic mushrooms
and undergoes a political revival?
That's what I think has created humankind.
The psychedelic drugs -
- can create new connections in our brain.
It can be traumatic -
- but you may be lucky to come out stronger.
Those who did not come out stronger
became some strange monkeys -
- who could not mate with anyone -
- and ran off to hang out with some
loser animals. I believe in this stuff.
It's an exciting theory.
We are not 100% sure that this has actually happened.
We are missing a single re-creation.
The EM final in '92.
We are going to Sweden. We have to
see the final. Denmark — Germany -
- recreated by someone who until recently
thought it was against Croatia.
And then we're gathered here at the stadium
in Sweden. Schmeichel is ready in his goal.
Unfortunately we could not get big brother,
but we have Brian ... Clausen, is that his name?
"I miss my big brother."
Faxe is ready.
"I just hope I score today and
after that be sold to Arsenal."
And the match has begun.
"John, I'll shoot it in over to you!
I'll just run down towards the goal. Shoot!"
What's happening, what's happening ...
I can't keep up anymore here in the commentator box.
John hits it right in the ass!
Right into the goal. What?!
Then we're back at the stadium -
- and John Faxe Mogen ... Jensen.
Then the ball comes in over again.
Shoot! Oh no, what's going on?
He takes it down with one hand.
I'm just dribbling right around it.
Such. Goal! Goal!
Fuck, how awesome!
That was wonderful. It was naive and ... -
- and reconstructed with both imagination
and a little help from Wikipedia?
To set this straight. The reason why
Denmark did not play against Croatia ...
- We participated in the European Championships in 1992 ...
- On a wildcard! Yes, yes.
Yugoslavia had become embroiled in a
domestic conflict, and from it arose -
- the nation states Croatia, Serbia, etc.
Thanks for mansplaining. It's very helpful.
There is nothing better than a man
explaining to a woman what "mansplaining" is.
Mansplaining is ...
It is fun. Tell me!
When a man explains to a woman
something she already knows.
- That's not the case here, Sofie.
- I know everything about the European Championships.
That's just really terrible, Sofie.
Shut up! You've squeezed a Kaj-cake
out of a layer cake base.
- Praise for your little characters, they were so good.
- It was really cool! So cool!
No one is named Brian Clausen,
but it was well made.
There were so many delicious details.
Brian "Clausen" Laudrup -
- is a Little Brother-cheese because he's a
little brother [kids' cheese brand]. Beautiful.
I love a lot of the details in this recreation.
I'm ready to rank your bid -
- on a reconstruction in dairy products.
I just want to give my perspective on it.
There's the individual human being. The birth.
There is the regional pride.
There's the national event.
Hollywood has bound the whole West together
to have something to ... share.
- And then there's humanity.
- Yes.
I think it's fine workmanship.
It's super exciting.
But I asked for a landmark event.
We are not 100% sure of that theory, Tobias.
Therefore, I give you one point,
but I liked the story.
Something that is a landmark for
at least two, possibly three people.
- Linda P, you get two points.
- Are you in doubt whether there were three?
Excellent craftsmanship from Jonas Mogensen.
Three points. Distinguished.
Four points for Sofie -
- for a distinguished European Championship
final, but I miss almost nothing -
- from a three-hour film
in the remake of Simon Talbot.
- Thanks. Thank you very much.
- The overall position of the program?
It may seem completely wild, but at this moment
Talbot now has 15 out of 15 points.
They get a lot of work done.
Shall we go back -
- to my extravagant domicile in Gentofte
and find another task?
Yes, a do-it-yourself task. One might think:
"That's not something they know how to do."
You are right about that.
- Hi, Mark.
- Hi, Mark le Femdørs Berlingo [five doors Berlingo]
- What's up, gangster? The back of the head.
- Yes please.
That was probably the task.
- Some wood.
- I cannot.
I'm not a big do it myself-man.
That's a bit of a flaw in my character.
- Build a birdhouse.
- No!
Build a birdhouse from the board
by completing these three processes:
- Divide it.
- Collect it.
Make a hole for the bird.
Use a unique tool for each process.
If you use the same tool as another ...
... you will both be disqualified.
- You have 20 minutes.
- Time starts now.
Oh ...
- Is the task understood?
- No.
What have the others used?
How do I know what the others have used?
- Unfortunately, you do not.
- It's wildly difficult when it's three.
I want a birdhouse. Participants
have been given a set of rules.
The board must be divided, assembled
and a hole made for the bird.
They had to use a unique tool for each process.
If you end up using a tool someone else has used -
- then you are disqualified.
Not only does it have to be
a different tool for each part.
A saw is a saw, a spade is a spade,
and a shovel is a shovel.
It might not be the same saw -
- but if there are two who use a saw,
you are disqualified.
Now that the strict rules are listed -
- I would like to see the first attempts.
I can offer you Jonas and Simon.
I could make a birdhouse by placing
this piece of tree on the house.
Then the birds are allowed to
live in a villa for 15 million.
- Do we have a samurai sword?
- No.
Then you will not want me to succeed either.
Nope.
Wrestling!
This one I don't think I'm allowed to use.
Do you think anyone uses an
NFL helmet with a rose in it?
Make a hole.
It's obvious.
Now I have divided it.
Then I have to collect it. And make a hole.
Can you also see some smoke? Holy shit! Yes!
A hole.
So.
It will be difficult to find a more
expensive birdhouse than this one.
A homemade pizza as in putting your own
toppings on the pizza base you bought.
It's kind of the strategy you use.
"I'm rebuilding a birdhouse."
One critical question I need an answer to.
Three processes: Divide the board,
assemble it and drill a hole.
What kind of tool do you
use to assemble the board?
I tried with a screwdriver.
It did not go so well.
You have to go through all three processes.
Why didn't you just use an American
football helmet with a rose inside it?
I got pressured on time in the end.
I do not see you completing all three parts.
It's a lovely birdhouse,
but you're breaking the rules.
The tools you use -
- are obvious power tools,
and they still count.
If someone uses the same tool,
it costs a disqualification.
So far only one has completed the task. Simon Talbot.
With the use of an American football
helmet, an ax and your ass.
We have seen two attempts.
One disqualification. Simon is on.
- Who are we going to see now?
- The last three.
One has to think of something
that no one else would do.
- Nobody would use your head.
- I do not think so either.
You can start with a switch.
It's insane how you can
wear both hats so well.
What are they using, those fucking freaks?
What would they use?
- It did not work.
- Try again.
So!
Top.
- What tool should you collect it with?
- Tin foil.
Then there's a hole. Just for a bird.
It's more fun than any standup
you've ever done. Like that, Mark!
You said before that you weren't handy.
That was a lie, I suppose.
Then the stork sticks its long leg down here.
It pulls up its feather splendor.
Lays a small egg ...
Okay.
This is possibly one of the times
I have solved the task correctly.
- These are unique gloves, right?
- Yes.
Like that. And then you
just fix the hole. Here.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Of the five solutions, Tobias is the
only one who does something ...
It is a classic birdhouse.
You probably think it's cool because
it makes sense in your world.
That with the monkey I never forgive you for.
The birdhouse was skilfully constructed.
I could recognize a birdhouse.
Sofie's birdhouse is built to
break the leg of a stork.
It's one of the only stork bird houses available.
Storks normally sit like this:
"Why are these so small?"
Here it can stand upright. Why do you think
there are so few storks in Denmark?
They can not live anywhere. Until now.
There are five personal bids for -
- how to create a birdhouse.
The last three here ...
I said that I would be strict.
You all three choose to divide
the board with one foot.
Three disqualifications.
Three times zero points.
Lame!
Four out of five participants are disqualified.
Only one managed to do the task.
What the hell is going on?
Nobody bothers to watch a program
where Simon Talbot succeeds.
It's totally fucked put together.
It's barely possible to call it a birdhouse.
You follow the rules. It gives five points.
I must say -
- that I did not think I should say -
- that Simon currently has 20 out of 20 points.
It's the best program of my life. Thanks.
Anything can happen ...
I'm not sure it can.
But one thing can happen.
It's you writing history -
- as the first to receive 25
out of 25 possible points.
- Will Simon succeed?
- No.
The very last task is going to take
place here on the stage right now.
Mark, again it's final task time.
Who should read aloud?
Simon has the opportunity to set a record.
He should be allowed to do it.
There's way too much going on
all of a sudden with Simon.
One has to say it.
I sat myself down and built him up earlier.
Should he be permitted to read aloud too?
It's a fun spot to clamp down on.
"You damn well don't read it."
What does it say, Simon?
Balance either all the lozenges -
- or all the cookies on a spaghetti bridge.
The pastilles or cookies may
only balance on spaghetti.
The spaghetti should be
balanced on the coconuts.
The coconuts must remain on the stands.
- You must keep on the mittens.
- Really?
- Fastest wins.
- On the coconut?
- Are you ready?
- No. He has been allowed to think.
Bridge of spaghetti.
The spaghetti on the coconuts.
Either all mint lozenges or
all cookies need to be balanced.
Not all the cookies, right?
"Either all lozenges or all cookies."
"On a spaghetti bridge."
It was good you just read it aloud.
- How did he score max points?
- All the other episodes were a disaster.
When you think you've succeeded
in building the Spaghetti Bridge -
- and balanced all pastilles or all cookies -
- you mark it by standing with
your hands on the side.
- Fastest wins.
- Time starts now.
How?
Now I think you're mansplaining.
- Turn away.
- Linda.
- It's fine, Mark.
- It's going great.
Are we focusing on cookies or mint lozenges?
I think we run with cookies.
Go away now, Mark.
I have it now.
Who said there were no benefits
to having lost the sense of taste?
I see a lot of spilled lozenges and cookies -
- but also nicely balanced
cookies over at Simon Talbot -
- before he was sabotaged by the man
who previously wished him success.
That with the monkey changed everything for me.
And I could tell that I wouldn't
win myself, and then ...
You know what, Simon Talbot ...
You get the victory and five
points in the final task.
Congratulations.
Now I would usually ask:
What is the overall position?
But 25 out of 25 possible means:
A reservation for an evening at the Alchemist.
I feel so sorry for my boyfriend.
He's going to hate Simon.
- Your prize is on the balcony.
- Let me just say one thing.
- Tobias has just ...
- I just have one thing to say.
My thing with you has fluctuated
a bit tonight ... I mean, today.
But I could not even sabotage you.
You are a true winner.
Alchemist. Unforgettable evening.
Stormester has both a winner in Simon Talbot -
- and a loser in Sofie's boyfriend.
I have only one thing left to say.
I read it once in the rare language
Sanskrit on a piece of parchment:
Thanks for tonight.
Texts: Ida Jordal
Danish Video Text
- Take care, Mark.
- Lasse.
- How tight they are!
- Ew, how disgusting.
I can't any more!
- It's damn draft beer.
- Sure.
Good evening. Welcome to Stormester.
What can your imagination do under pressure?
I asked that question to five well-known Danes.
My name is Lasse Rimmer. I decide who
deserves a scolding and who deserves a toast.
Will it be Linda P tonight?
Could it be Simon Talbot?
Maybe Sofie Jo Kaufmanas.
Perhaps Jonas Mogensen? Or Tobias Rahim?
I'm in a great mood tonight,
flanked by my faithful squire -
- Mark le Fêvre.
Le Fêvre is, as far as I understand,
French and means "the pearl diver".
- No ...
- I'm pretty sure it does.
Your chair looks different than it usually does.
That's because my mom watches the show.
"Why does Lasse have a bigger and nicer chair?"
I said to her, "I think that, too, is a mistake."
Do you like it?
I can see it.
The five participants compete for prizes.
The season prize: the golden trophy.
In every single program there is also
something to fight about.
A prize taken by one participant.
Something they're motivated to win back.
It should be a little close to their heart.
Sofie, you brought something with you.
I have brought my reservation to
the Alchemist restaurant with me.
You may be thinking "boring",
but it isn't for me.
I haven't been able to taste or smell anything
for ten months. I had the coronavirus in December.
It is gone. So I need to boost myself -
- with a 50-course meal at a
double Michelin-starred restaurant.
It should also be mentioned that if I lose -
- one of these idiots is going out
to dinner with my boyfriend.
- He would be fucking mad about that.
- Mark, we're ready.
What are we going to do?
- We get to meet Jeanne, who is Swedish.
- No, no.
She does not know who the participants are. Yes.
Hi, Mark le Feng Shui.
- Hello.
- Hi hi.
- Hi there.
- Do you speak English?
I'll sit down, and you have the ... the block.
- Mark. Hello.
- Hi there.
Again? Hello. Sofie.
Do you speak Swedish? I do not.
Hi tul-la-hop [babbling in Swedish]
- Where are you from?
- Sweden.
Convince this Swede that you are
the most famous person on Stormester.
Everything you say must be true.
The participant who the Swede
considered to be the most famous wins.
- You have ten minutes.
- Time starts now.
Do you watch a lot of Danish television? No.
What a wildly uncomfortable task.
Well ... Then I have to brag.
That's not a challenge, Mark.
The inspiration for this task:
What would I really not want to do myself?
How many of you liked this task? No.
It was very uncomfortable.
I had a breakdown.
You broke down along the way?
Something about becoming a public face is -
- anxiety-provoking. It's a little fucked up.
People know who you are when
you shop, buy nasty stuff.
We can just review the rules
very briefly for this task.
You had ten minutes to convince the sweet,
Swedish Jeanne that you were the most famous.
There is then one rule:
one must only say true things.
It is Jeanne who acts as the judge here.
Subordinate who really is the most famous.
I can't be in it at all.
- Who do we start with?
- None of us!
We have to get out of it.
We'll see Jonas, Linda and Tobias.
I'm glad I've been clipped along with others.
I became known very quickly.
Yes, I'm a musician.
On DR I made "Skråplan".
I did some standup.
And something called "Winnie and Karina".
- Entertainer.
- One-woman shows, I've had seven of those.
- Artist.
- Then I made a TV series.
It says "most watched". Then I am number four.
It's better to explain why I'm the best known
by telling about the others in the program.
I think that they have used my name
to get the other participants involved.
I can tell you that Simon Talbot has made ...
- He has ...
- I once met Tom Hanks.
I can't really say anything about the rest of the
participants, since I don't know them. That says a bit ...
Do you remember "ER"?
The one playing ... Was her name Maggie?
I have also met her.
Do you like country?
And I've been to the same comedy club as Chris Rock.
I did not perform, but ...
You were watching Chris Rock?
- Yes yes.
- "If Jesus was Arab ..." [singing along the lyrics]
When I'm at Street Food I notice that sometimes
there's some who are having a look in my direction.
Those two ... Hey! Do you know my name?
What is my name? That's how famous I am.
But I have a gold card for Denmark's best burger.
- I'm pretty well known in West Africa.
- It gives a 20% discount on burgers.
I've been on TV a lot with my music in Ghana.
It's card #165.
They've only given it to 164 before me.
And time's up.
It's incredible you were afraid to brag.
You were brain dead good at it.
He was good at saying, "I met ...".
Linda ... It's cheating that she placed extras.
- They've got quite a lot of money to yell my name.
- Tobias, you're a name in West Africa.
I had a depression in Denmark and went to Ghana.
I actually became a household name.
Under the nickname Toby Tabu.
From three famous people and those Jonas has met -
- on to other famous people.
Who are we going to see now?
Simon and Sofie must convince Jeanne with a few truths.
They have done impressive things.
Apparently, Sofie has made life-saving medicine -
- and is really bad at reading tasks.
I'm not used to saying how famous I am.
It’s like this unsaid thing in the room.
With great fame comes great responsibility.
- I've made ... everything.
The Opera House, do you know that?
I recorded my last show there.
Do you know Twitch? I got five million views.
Do you watch a lot of Danish television in Sweden?
No. Then you probably have not seen me
interview the Queen, which I just did.
Five one-man shows. In English too. 214,000 followers.
Russell Howard ... That's me. Simon Talbot! Oh my God!
It's easily going to sound like a lie.
I have also developed medicine.
When I was six years old, I was in
the Weekly Magazine in Skanderborg.
A child star.
You still have a few minutes to tell true stories.
I'm so known that I don't even have to say it.
I must not lie, remember!
- I'm that famous!
- What is it you've been doing for the last ten minutes?
I've actually just insisted that I'm famous.
- How long does it take before it dawns on you that
you have overlooked a rule? - Eight minutes.
You said you made insulin?
That you had invented ... insulin!
- She's disqualified, right?
- We return to the ranking.
Simon says he does not like this,
and then you are surprisingly good.
One just has to be unpleasant enough for long enough.
The Weekly Magazine in Skanderborg, Twitch,
Russell Howard. Yes! Also Twitch, yes.
You all made a really good effort.
But the points are awarded by Jeanne.
How are they distributed, Mark?
The truth must be heard from ... I was just about to
say "drunk children" ... but also from Swedes.
Let us hear:
Yes man! Yes! Yes!
This task was about convincing a person about -
- who is best known. Simon Talbot was best at that.
Sofie is the least known of you.
A single point. But you broke the rules.
So the one point you've got,
I'll take it straight from you again.
That's completely fair.
- The overall position, Mark?
- Simon Talbot is in the lead.
In fact, I think we need a more simple task.
A really strenuous one. With a stupid coconut.
Hi, Mark. Is it a riding arena?
- Do you ride?
- Never.
- Hi, Mark le Fersken med flødeskum [peach with whipped cream].
- Hi, Linda.
- Coconut.
- A square.
It's a real coconut.
- Hide the coconut in Mark.
- No. Or what?
- Are you a teaser?
- Hide the coconut from Mark.
The coconut must be hidden inside the square.
- Best hidden coconut wins.
- Mark arrives in 20 minutes.
- Time starts now.
- Enjoy.
It is fun. Okay. Exciting.
- Yes.
- Do we have a rake?
It's a study of how good Mark is at solving a task.
You had 20 minutes to hide a coconut
for me inside the square.
You win if I take a very long time to find it.
The rules are so simple.
Who should we first see hide a coconut?
We must first see Tobias and Linda.
One of them draws on the puzzling world of psychology.
There is no shame in falling for it, I would say.
You have to hide it normally -
- and then afterwards trick him.
If you trick the little stupid person.
That's it. I myself would have difficulty finding it.
- Hey, Linda!
- What's up?
- Are you good at hiding things?
- I'm reasonably good at it.
- Has there been a horse in here?
- It's a riding arena, isn't it?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- There are a lot of squares around here, Mark.
I did not expect he was as stupid as he looked.
- Where are you?
- He has stepped on it three times.
It's magical that he believes in anything I say.
- Get started now. Mark, for hell.
- What do you think it looks like?
I almost think he has suffered enough. Mark!
Come on!
Damned.
- Oh!
- Holy shit.
It's inside the square.
You have stepped on it already.
If you had just stayed there, you could have
saved yourself a tremendous round trip.
See you, Mark.
I'm totally wet from sweat. Soaked.
I actually hurt my wrist a bit. Ouch, damn it.
You can go home for today. You've done well.
There usually is at least one participant
who makes me say: You disappoint me.
I have to look to the left.
All it takes is the sentence:
"There are a lot of squares."
And then Mark rushes to the horizon!
Genuine. I didn't think he would be so easy.
This is the first time I managed
to feel a little sorry for you.
Mark, what are the times?
I found Tobias' coconut after
8 minutes and 30 seconds.
After I cracked Linda's mental spin:
- 10 minutes and 12 seconds.
- I thought it was much longer.
- There were two. Who is number three?
- Jonas Mogensen.
I want to emphasize once again:
That task was tiring.
Do we have a shovel?
There was a car.
Then it's just about finding a coconut.
Is it up under the car?
Remember the parking brake.
"Couldn't it be fun to be a participant?"
A resounding no.
Can you come out then, you stupid coconut!
I've overlooked something.
It's in the car. I can tell.
Oh hell. Have I overlooked something or what?
Were you standing inside the square when I arrived?
Where did you hide it?
I'm wearing such hanging pants.
You must have hidden it well.
There must be a nut somewhere!
- It's hard work, right?
- Yes yes.
- Have I not looked in that stupid car?
- In the way I often look.
- Then Louise says, "Shall I look?"
- Shall we call Louise?
- Hello!
- It's Mark.
He's hidden a coconut that I need to find.
Where would Jonas hide a coconut?
Did he dig a hole in the sand
or hide it in a car?
Or is he more about hiding it on his body, maybe?
- I think so.
- I'll try that. Thanks for your help.
What the hell is going on?
Found!
I found it.
It's good enough.
Your wife is hundreds of miles away from the square.
- "He has it on his body."
- It was a little hard in the end.
Well, you suffered too. But I had to
hold it between my thighs.
It's rough as hell, I must say.
Halfway through, I got the long coat bummed
from you and then I could just let go.
It just lay there.
How long did it take you to find that coconut -
- between Jonas Mogensen's inner thighs?
I dig for 32 minutes.
And we all enjoyed those 32 minutes.
Now we have seen three hidden coconuts.
We are missing two bids. Who do we see first?
We need Sofie, who actually comes up
with a pretty ingenious plan.
She closely studies the area -
- and finds the potential for an ingenious solution.
This is completely ... bulletproof.
Which coconut should I hide? This one.
What does it look like? These ones.
I'll put it down here. That's damn good.
So. Perfect.
It is then absolutely perfect.
Shut up, how good.
Mark should be welcome.
It's absolutely brilliant.
- God, how annoying.
- Time starts now.
- Come on, mouse man.
- I'm in the process.
Time! Time!
That's cheating.
I hate this task.
- Mark, it's ...
- Then there's coconut.
It took you 1 minute and 32 seconds.
- It's a really good day.
- I had expected something along 17 hours.
But it is a good idea to hide many.
Your strategy is to fool Mark.
When it does not succeed, you felt
wronged and say, "That's cheating."
I think Mark has put a GPS into the coconut.
- You're desperate now.
- That was my first thought out there.
- There's a GPS in the coconut.
- So I got radiation?
Are we going to mention how Mark fell over that ...
Shut up, how stupid it looked.
- We can see the clip again.
- Yes please.
Even when you are about to taste the
sweetness of victory, you will be mocked.
I know it's the right one because it has
a color under the bottom.
We need to see Simon Talbot.
Are you just as good at finding his?
No.
"Put on an old sweater ... " [lyrics of an old Danish classic]
What have you done, you stupid kid?
You can just start leading.
- There is no square!
- You're so stressed, Mark.
What is the square?
Search all you want. You will never find
the coconut or your dignity.
Oh! Yes, that was a good ...
Yes, try that solution.
I think it's it.
What does the task say, Mark?
"Yes, what does the task say?"
Oh ...
You're not breaking me, Mark. 58 minutes.
- I cannot find it.
- Nah. That's it. Time!
Well no, it's still going.
Where is it? Where's that coconut?
Even when you come so aggressively towards
Simon, you still fail to put him down.
I've been so terrible, so it was so nice
just to be able to stand there like ...
It was such a joy.
It doesn't say that you must not move the square.
It's easier to hide the square somewhere in
Northern Zealand than to hide a coconut in the square.
This coconut has never been found.
No.
We haven't really found the square yet either.
- You filmed when he did it.
- Shall we see it?
We're pretty close to the water, are we?
Coconut! In the square!
It was outside the square.
Good luck! Job's done.
One task, yes.
Simon Talbot, time still runs.
You are an unmatched winner.
Max points to Simon Talbot.
The points among the other four?
1 point for Sofie ...
I found the coconut real fast.
Two to Tobias. Three to Linda.
Four points for you, Jonas.
While the five of you and Mark are
out solving tasks in my house -
- I get an invoice for 80 liters of milk
and 18 pounds of cheese.
There are two possible answers to this:
You have snacked through all these tasks.
You owe me a task that I remember I wrote.
- Hi, Mark.
- Hi, Mark le Feinschmecker [connoisseur].
This is your residence?
That's what could be afforded?
- I do not get paid.
— A little house for a little man.
Is it semi-skimmed milk?
I would take a cotton ball around the corners.
Make an original re-creation -
- of a landmark event.
- Okay.
- A re-creation.
- It must be made from dairy products.
- It just got even harder.
Ten minutes for a shopping list. Then 20 minutes -
- to perform the landmark event.
- Time starts now.
- How the hell do you do that?
That's fun.
Everyone loves EM '92 [European Football Championship 1992].
- I need a liter of milk.
- A lot of raspberry foam. As big a bun as possible.
A tub of whole milk. What else do we need?
I would like a lot of brie.
- Parmesan and white chocolate.
- A Riberhus cheese. Goat cheese. Whipped cream.
- Half brie, half white chocolate.
- A large block of cheese.
- A whole lot of Ostehapsere [kids’ snack cheese]
- I think that's it, Mark.
Who were we playing against?
Wasn't it ... Croatia?
We'll come back to that, Sofie.
There should not be so many questions?
Recreate a landmark moment in dairy products.
Who gets the landmark event recreated
in the most original way?
Who breaks loose first?
Jonas Mogensen. How is it with you and cheese?
- I hate that shit.
- Let's see how it went.
- What's up?
- All that cheese.
- Can you see what it is?
- It looks like sand.
This is the sea, this. There's foam on it.
- What is this?
- Can't you see it?
This is the relocation of Rubjerg Knude Fyr.
October 22nd 2019. 70 meters.
That's the sea. That's the lighthouse.
There is nothing more to say.
Those are the tracks it was pulled along.
You can't remember where you were that day?
It was the horror scenario of
what could have happened.
- Are you satisfied?
- Yes, yes.
It was a local contractor who took on that task.
- "Do you have experience?" "Nah."
- "I can do that," he said.
Why do you choose to order so much cheese?
What the hell else was I supposed to
make sand out of? I'm stupid too.
I couldn't think of something that looks like sand.
Let's try to compare your reconstruction -
- with the actual relocation of
Rubjerg Knude Fyr. Yes, yes ...
And it's from memory.
I followed the event all day.
They live streamed it on Facebook.
- It's a nice solution, Jonas.
- That was good.
- What are we going to see now?
- Linda P's birth.
That I also live streamed.
A local Jutland contractor said:
"I can do that."
According to you it was a one to one rendering.
Medical science may not agree ...
Let us see the case.
Hi, Mark le Fængselsstraf for at være
så tåbelig [jail sentence for being so foolish].
- A bathtub. Can you get it?
- You do not want yourself?
I've had surgery for a slipped disc.
- What have you done?
- Well I ...
- It's very private, Mark.
- Oh.
- Ah, my finger!
- I gave birth by caesarean section.
So that bathtub is not necessary either.
We need to put this in here.
There's a lot of blood inside the stomach.
Uhm.
The tits.
- One, two, three.
- Push!
Oops! Pardon. It should be up here at the breasts.
Shut up, it tastes good. The task is over.
It's one to one how I remember the birth.
- That's five points, I think.
- There are many fine features.
I'm going to win this one.
Because my feature is a little finer.
But I enjoy yours too.
I doubt it will be as subtle as mine.
So what landmark event should we experience?
Simon Talbot's bid. If I say Titanic -
- there are those like Simon
who think of a movie from '97.
It's going to be good.
Um ... Yes.
- That's the damn Titanic.
- God, that's the Titanic.
Tuuu!
I'm the king of the world!
Every night in my dreams.
No, Jack! No!
Lower the lifeboats!
We can't be this many in the lifeboats!
Of course we can! It is German quality.
Arh!
Don't you worry, Rose.
Jack, Jack, I love you.
Uhuhu!
You can feel it ... I got caught up in it.
Sleep well, Jack. Sleep well.
- Yes ...
- That movie is ruined forever.
James Cameron's film is three hours long,
but I don't really miss anything from the story.
You have all of it. Where can you be
hired to make sound effects?
You just go to titanicsounds.dk.
I can do nothing but:
Every night in my dreams!
They want more. I'll see you!
You could be big in Ghana.
It was the landmark event of the movie
about the sinking of the Titanic. Next?
Tobias orders only a few things.
Is it a small event?
Truly just the origins of modern man.
I'm thinking of a researcher -
- called Terrence McKenna or something.
What had created humans were monkeys
that had eaten mushrooms.
What a nice material to work in.
It is the link between monkey and man.
Oh boy.
Here is the monkey. The monkey out hunting.
Find a mushroom. Eat the mushroom.
Gets a psychedelic experience and becomes human.
It boils over in my head of good things.
Ohh, I'm getting trauma.
Bad experiences in my childhood.
I reconcile with them.
I'm getting stronger now.
I'm getting a little hippie-like.
I'm not as liberal as I used to be.
I have a sense of community.
It's only a theory I've seen on YouTube.
- It should be right, then.
- Yes. History teaching in brie.
A monkey eats psychedelic mushrooms
and undergoes a political revival?
That's what I think has created humankind.
The psychedelic drugs -
- can create new connections in our brain.
It can be traumatic -
- but you may be lucky to come out stronger.
Those who did not come out stronger
became some strange monkeys -
- who could not mate with anyone -
- and ran off to hang out with some
loser animals. I believe in this stuff.
It's an exciting theory.
We are not 100% sure that this has actually happened.
We are missing a single re-creation.
The EM final in '92.
We are going to Sweden. We have to
see the final. Denmark — Germany -
- recreated by someone who until recently
thought it was against Croatia.
And then we're gathered here at the stadium
in Sweden. Schmeichel is ready in his goal.
Unfortunately we could not get big brother,
but we have Brian ... Clausen, is that his name?
"I miss my big brother."
Faxe is ready.
"I just hope I score today and
after that be sold to Arsenal."
And the match has begun.
"John, I'll shoot it in over to you!
I'll just run down towards the goal. Shoot!"
What's happening, what's happening ...
I can't keep up anymore here in the commentator box.
John hits it right in the ass!
Right into the goal. What?!
Then we're back at the stadium -
- and John Faxe Mogen ... Jensen.
Then the ball comes in over again.
Shoot! Oh no, what's going on?
He takes it down with one hand.
I'm just dribbling right around it.
Such. Goal! Goal!
Fuck, how awesome!
That was wonderful. It was naive and ... -
- and reconstructed with both imagination
and a little help from Wikipedia?
To set this straight. The reason why
Denmark did not play against Croatia ...
- We participated in the European Championships in 1992 ...
- On a wildcard! Yes, yes.
Yugoslavia had become embroiled in a
domestic conflict, and from it arose -
- the nation states Croatia, Serbia, etc.
Thanks for mansplaining. It's very helpful.
There is nothing better than a man
explaining to a woman what "mansplaining" is.
Mansplaining is ...
It is fun. Tell me!
When a man explains to a woman
something she already knows.
- That's not the case here, Sofie.
- I know everything about the European Championships.
That's just really terrible, Sofie.
Shut up! You've squeezed a Kaj-cake
out of a layer cake base.
- Praise for your little characters, they were so good.
- It was really cool! So cool!
No one is named Brian Clausen,
but it was well made.
There were so many delicious details.
Brian "Clausen" Laudrup -
- is a Little Brother-cheese because he's a
little brother [kids' cheese brand]. Beautiful.
I love a lot of the details in this recreation.
I'm ready to rank your bid -
- on a reconstruction in dairy products.
I just want to give my perspective on it.
There's the individual human being. The birth.
There is the regional pride.
There's the national event.
Hollywood has bound the whole West together
to have something to ... share.
- And then there's humanity.
- Yes.
I think it's fine workmanship.
It's super exciting.
But I asked for a landmark event.
We are not 100% sure of that theory, Tobias.
Therefore, I give you one point,
but I liked the story.
Something that is a landmark for
at least two, possibly three people.
- Linda P, you get two points.
- Are you in doubt whether there were three?
Excellent craftsmanship from Jonas Mogensen.
Three points. Distinguished.
Four points for Sofie -
- for a distinguished European Championship
final, but I miss almost nothing -
- from a three-hour film
in the remake of Simon Talbot.
- Thanks. Thank you very much.
- The overall position of the program?
It may seem completely wild, but at this moment
Talbot now has 15 out of 15 points.
They get a lot of work done.
Shall we go back -
- to my extravagant domicile in Gentofte
and find another task?
Yes, a do-it-yourself task. One might think:
"That's not something they know how to do."
You are right about that.
- Hi, Mark.
- Hi, Mark le Femdørs Berlingo [five doors Berlingo]
- What's up, gangster? The back of the head.
- Yes please.
That was probably the task.
- Some wood.
- I cannot.
I'm not a big do it myself-man.
That's a bit of a flaw in my character.
- Build a birdhouse.
- No!
Build a birdhouse from the board
by completing these three processes:
- Divide it.
- Collect it.
Make a hole for the bird.
Use a unique tool for each process.
If you use the same tool as another ...
... you will both be disqualified.
- You have 20 minutes.
- Time starts now.
Oh ...
- Is the task understood?
- No.
What have the others used?
How do I know what the others have used?
- Unfortunately, you do not.
- It's wildly difficult when it's three.
I want a birdhouse. Participants
have been given a set of rules.
The board must be divided, assembled
and a hole made for the bird.
They had to use a unique tool for each process.
If you end up using a tool someone else has used -
- then you are disqualified.
Not only does it have to be
a different tool for each part.
A saw is a saw, a spade is a spade,
and a shovel is a shovel.
It might not be the same saw -
- but if there are two who use a saw,
you are disqualified.
Now that the strict rules are listed -
- I would like to see the first attempts.
I can offer you Jonas and Simon.
I could make a birdhouse by placing
this piece of tree on the house.
Then the birds are allowed to
live in a villa for 15 million.
- Do we have a samurai sword?
- No.
Then you will not want me to succeed either.
Nope.
Wrestling!
This one I don't think I'm allowed to use.
Do you think anyone uses an
NFL helmet with a rose in it?
Make a hole.
It's obvious.
Now I have divided it.
Then I have to collect it. And make a hole.
Can you also see some smoke? Holy shit! Yes!
A hole.
So.
It will be difficult to find a more
expensive birdhouse than this one.
A homemade pizza as in putting your own
toppings on the pizza base you bought.
It's kind of the strategy you use.
"I'm rebuilding a birdhouse."
One critical question I need an answer to.
Three processes: Divide the board,
assemble it and drill a hole.
What kind of tool do you
use to assemble the board?
I tried with a screwdriver.
It did not go so well.
You have to go through all three processes.
Why didn't you just use an American
football helmet with a rose inside it?
I got pressured on time in the end.
I do not see you completing all three parts.
It's a lovely birdhouse,
but you're breaking the rules.
The tools you use -
- are obvious power tools,
and they still count.
If someone uses the same tool,
it costs a disqualification.
So far only one has completed the task. Simon Talbot.
With the use of an American football
helmet, an ax and your ass.
We have seen two attempts.
One disqualification. Simon is on.
- Who are we going to see now?
- The last three.
One has to think of something
that no one else would do.
- Nobody would use your head.
- I do not think so either.
You can start with a switch.
It's insane how you can
wear both hats so well.
What are they using, those fucking freaks?
What would they use?
- It did not work.
- Try again.
So!
Top.
- What tool should you collect it with?
- Tin foil.
Then there's a hole. Just for a bird.
It's more fun than any standup
you've ever done. Like that, Mark!
You said before that you weren't handy.
That was a lie, I suppose.
Then the stork sticks its long leg down here.
It pulls up its feather splendor.
Lays a small egg ...
Okay.
This is possibly one of the times
I have solved the task correctly.
- These are unique gloves, right?
- Yes.
Like that. And then you
just fix the hole. Here.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Of the five solutions, Tobias is the
only one who does something ...
It is a classic birdhouse.
You probably think it's cool because
it makes sense in your world.
That with the monkey I never forgive you for.
The birdhouse was skilfully constructed.
I could recognize a birdhouse.
Sofie's birdhouse is built to
break the leg of a stork.
It's one of the only stork bird houses available.
Storks normally sit like this:
"Why are these so small?"
Here it can stand upright. Why do you think
there are so few storks in Denmark?
They can not live anywhere. Until now.
There are five personal bids for -
- how to create a birdhouse.
The last three here ...
I said that I would be strict.
You all three choose to divide
the board with one foot.
Three disqualifications.
Three times zero points.
Lame!
Four out of five participants are disqualified.
Only one managed to do the task.
What the hell is going on?
Nobody bothers to watch a program
where Simon Talbot succeeds.
It's totally fucked put together.
It's barely possible to call it a birdhouse.
You follow the rules. It gives five points.
I must say -
- that I did not think I should say -
- that Simon currently has 20 out of 20 points.
It's the best program of my life. Thanks.
Anything can happen ...
I'm not sure it can.
But one thing can happen.
It's you writing history -
- as the first to receive 25
out of 25 possible points.
- Will Simon succeed?
- No.
The very last task is going to take
place here on the stage right now.
Mark, again it's final task time.
Who should read aloud?
Simon has the opportunity to set a record.
He should be allowed to do it.
There's way too much going on
all of a sudden with Simon.
One has to say it.
I sat myself down and built him up earlier.
Should he be permitted to read aloud too?
It's a fun spot to clamp down on.
"You damn well don't read it."
What does it say, Simon?
Balance either all the lozenges -
- or all the cookies on a spaghetti bridge.
The pastilles or cookies may
only balance on spaghetti.
The spaghetti should be
balanced on the coconuts.
The coconuts must remain on the stands.
- You must keep on the mittens.
- Really?
- Fastest wins.
- On the coconut?
- Are you ready?
- No. He has been allowed to think.
Bridge of spaghetti.
The spaghetti on the coconuts.
Either all mint lozenges or
all cookies need to be balanced.
Not all the cookies, right?
"Either all lozenges or all cookies."
"On a spaghetti bridge."
It was good you just read it aloud.
- How did he score max points?
- All the other episodes were a disaster.
When you think you've succeeded
in building the Spaghetti Bridge -
- and balanced all pastilles or all cookies -
- you mark it by standing with
your hands on the side.
- Fastest wins.
- Time starts now.
How?
Now I think you're mansplaining.
- Turn away.
- Linda.
- It's fine, Mark.
- It's going great.
Are we focusing on cookies or mint lozenges?
I think we run with cookies.
Go away now, Mark.
I have it now.
Who said there were no benefits
to having lost the sense of taste?
I see a lot of spilled lozenges and cookies -
- but also nicely balanced
cookies over at Simon Talbot -
- before he was sabotaged by the man
who previously wished him success.
That with the monkey changed everything for me.
And I could tell that I wouldn't
win myself, and then ...
You know what, Simon Talbot ...
You get the victory and five
points in the final task.
Congratulations.
Now I would usually ask:
What is the overall position?
But 25 out of 25 possible means:
A reservation for an evening at the Alchemist.
I feel so sorry for my boyfriend.
He's going to hate Simon.
- Your prize is on the balcony.
- Let me just say one thing.
- Tobias has just ...
- I just have one thing to say.
My thing with you has fluctuated
a bit tonight ... I mean, today.
But I could not even sabotage you.
You are a true winner.
Alchemist. Unforgettable evening.
Stormester has both a winner in Simon Talbot -
- and a loser in Sofie's boyfriend.
I have only one thing left to say.
I read it once in the rare language
Sanskrit on a piece of parchment:
Thanks for tonight.
Texts: Ida Jordal
Danish Video Text