Steven Universe (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 47 - Shirt Club - full transcript

♪ We are The Crystal Gems ♪

♪ we'll always save the day ♪

-♪ and if you think
we can't ♪

-♪ we'll always find a way ♪

♪ that's why the people
of this world ♪

-♪ believe in ♪

♪ Garnet ♪
-♪ Amethyst ♪

-♪ and Pearl ♪

-And Steven!

Pearl?!
Amethyst?! Garnet?!

You don't have to
yell, Steven. We're right here.



I know, but I
finished this drawing, and I

wanted to show it to you.

- Oh! Uh, of course.
- All right!

Ha ha!
Guitar Dad teaches you guitar!

- What is that?
- It's my dad!

He's going to start teaching

guitar lessons, and he
made me his P.R. department.

- What's that stuff in his mouth?
- Those are his teeth.

What are the lightning bolts for?

Uh...
well, I-I was trying to show

that dad really rocks on the
guitar, and ...

Then there should be
rocks falling out of the guitar.

I hear what you're saying,
but it's too late for notes.

This is permanent marker.



- Mm-hmm!
- What's that cute flyer for, Steven?

It's for my dad!
He'll teach you guitar.

You guys want to sign up?
My dad's really good!

Maybe I'll stop by and check it out.

Here, let me give you a flyer and ...

- Welcome to the big donut!
- Hey, Buck!

Oh! What?
Buck, Buck, Bu-u-u-u-ck!

Ha ha!
What's going on, man?

What can we get for you today?

- Can I get a caprese salad?
- Oh, sorry, Buck,

- we only serve don...
- Do-nut worry, Buck!

I'll whip you up a salad ...
no sweat! I'll be right back!

Lars, we don't even have
vegetables here!

- Heh, what's a Guitar Dad?
- Like my flyer? It's for my dad!

He'll teach you guitar!

Here, take one of these with you!
Actually, just wear it!

- Are you ticklish?
- This would make a rad shirt, man.

- Really?
- Yeah! Let's make your flyer into T-shirts!

Oh, man!
My dad would love that!

Gimme five on it.
Oh, you missed.

Ho! I think it's swell you're

returning to the family
business, son!

Gonna help the old man get
re-elected again, eh?

- Aw, son!
- Ugh!

It's not for campaign stuff, dad.

Steven and I are making art.

Art!

Art, huh?
I don't understand it myself,

but a boy's got to have
interests and ambitions!

This stuff can be
used to make T-shirts?

Oh, yeah, I've got all the
latest, state-of-the-art

screen-printing equipment
from years of

campaigning and other
some-such mayorly things.

Like this week, I'm
commemorating a bench!

"Welcome to...
'Bench' City"? Thrifty!

- Dad, you can't use this!
- Why not?

You know, I got to "gank dat"
youth vote, boyeeee!

- Dad, stop.
- What's this?

What have you got there?

I haven't seen this in years!

Remember when you drew this, Buck?

You couldn't wait to show it
off to all your little

- montessori friends.
- Okay, dad! Thanks for all your help.

- See you later! Bye.
- All right, kids!

I mean, peace in the
Middle East, Holmes!

- So cool.
- Let's just get started already.

- Swag. - Now everyone's
gonna want lessons from dad!

This is bigger than
your dad, Steven. It's art.

And it's gonna flood the public
consciousness.

Well, let's start
handing them out!

Too simple.
We need to get controversial.

We need to create ...
Boom! ... a scene.

Scanning for targets.

T-shirt cannon loaded and ready!

Beep, beep, beep... bibibibi!

- Sour Cream sighted!
- Wom wom... wom wom wom.

Get ready! Take aim!

- And..
- Womp womp womp... womp!

What in the world?
Oh, this is the coolest thing

I've ever been hit in the head with!

Ronaldo spotted.
Take aim!

Whoa! What the heck?!
Huh?

Whoa! Weird!

Some kind of extraterrestrial
space dad guitar shirt?

So, you've finally decided to
make first contact, huh?

Where are you?!

Lars sighted.
Take aim!

Youch! What the...
What is this garbage?

Buck made this?

This is hilarious!
Thanks, Buck!

Cheers!

Buck, this was such a good idea!

I don't know why we didn't
collaborate on a project sooner!

This will make my dad so happy!

I can't wait to see the look on
his face when I stop by later.

Yeah.
Should be good for a laugh.

Huh?
Why would it be good for a ...

- Girl! Check out my new shirt!
- It's really cute!

- Where'd you get it?
- I don't know.

It just landed in front of me
when I was out walking.

Well, if I were you, I
wouldn't wear some random shirt

that just fell out of the sky.
What if there were bugs in it?

Relax!
Who cares where it came from?

This shirt is the funniest thing
I've seen in my life!

Looks like our shirt has
a really good buzz going.

Yeah, but I think
they think it's a joke.

Heh. The only
thing that's important

is that they're talking about it.

- That's how real art works.
- Oh, well, I-I guess you're right.

- Uh, how's this?
- Ha ha ha. So bad.

Okay! Let's get started
with the first lesson!

Have a seat and grab a ...
Where you going?

Oh, uh, I guess he got an
important text or something.

- How's it been going today?
- Really great!

Lots of people have been
coming by, thanks to your

- T-shirts, little guy.
- That's great, dad!

- I'm really glad I could help ...
- Yoo-hoo! Guitar Dad!

I just wanted to say I think
you're wonderful and hilarious!

Uh... thank you?

Huh. That's kind of strange.

- What is?
- Well, lots of people have

stopped by, but no one's
taken a lesson yet.

- What? Really?!
- Ah, maybe they're just

checking out the scene before

they come back to get a real lesson!

- Buck!
- Hey, there's my main man.

The shirts aren't working, Buck!

Yeah, they are.
People love 'em.

But nobody wants
guitar lessons from my dad!

- That's not the point.
- What?! Then what is the point?

The point is, it's an amazing shirt.

Aw, my drawing's not that good.

- Yeah, no. It's terrible.
- What?!

That's what's so great about it.
Your work is so naive.

You really love your dad.
It's funny.

I... I don't want to
make these shirts anymore.

Too bad, Steven.
It's so current, you can't stop it.

I'm a taste maker, and I'm
gonna keep making tastes...

- forever.
- Forever?

Well, forever, after I go
to my dad's lame bench

commemoration. Peace.

- Garnet! Pearl! Amethyst!
- Steven!

- What is it?!
- Whoa, where's the fire?!

It's an emergency!
You have to help me get rid

of all the shirts and stop Buck
from making more!

Have the shirts come
to life and possessed the bodies

- of their wearers?
- No, they just ...

Are people catching
on fire when they put on

- the magic shirts?
- No, no, th-they're just ...

Are the shirts
destroying the wearers' wills to

continue on in this mortal coil,

- thereby shutting down Beach City?!
- No!!

They're... They're just

using my art in a way
I don't agree with.

- Oh.
- Eh, we'll pass.

What?! But...
But, I really need your help!

Steven, this sounds
like a very abstract problem.

It's not
something we can punch.

You must learn to help yourself.
That's how you become stronger.

- Good point, good point.
- Oh, absolutely.

- But!
- You'll figure something out, Steven!

Yes, why not dust off those
conflict-resolution skills!

Let your problem be known.

Then you can work
towards an understanding.

Oh, I'll make him understand.

- I'll make them all understand!
- Eh, he'll be fine.

Okay. Is everyone here?

Hello! I was supposed
to write a speech to,

um, commemorate this,
uh, new bench, but

what had happened was I
ran out of printer ink in

my printer that I keep at home.

So, I went to the store and
wouldn't you know it?

They didn't carry the brand I
was looking for, so...

- Bye!
- ...I called up a buddy of

mine who owed me a...

few political favors,
and he wasn't home!

Look out!

No!

I've been... shirt!

Buck... did you make this?

This shirt is genius!

This is way funnier than Guitar Dad!

This bench is actually
pretty comfortable.

Anyone else
stop by for lessons today?

So far, no, but, I'm
sure it'll pick up tomorrow!

Yeah, I'm sure it will.
This is for you, by the way.

This is the last one, so it's
super-limited edition!

Aw, sweet!
Thanks, Steven!

Yo, Steven, just wanted to
say, uh, I'm sorry for what

- I did and uh...
- It's okay, Buck.

You don't have to say
any more than that.

You're a cool cat, Steven Universe.

Hey, Mister "U."?

You want to take a picture
with me or some junk?

No way, man.

I want a lesson...
from Guitar Dad!