Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 7, Episode 4 - Take This Job and Shove It - full transcript

[instrumental music]

Alright, Rich,
describe geothermal energy.

Alright, I know this one.

Uh, geothermal energy
is the heat

that builds up
in the Earth's magma.

Mm, correct.

Oh, God, I love it
when you know the right answer.

Oh, man.

Can't you two stop suckin' face
for a second?

I gotta ask you somethin'.

- Hey!
- Um.. Hey! Uh..



We're-we're-we're studying here.

Yeah, right. Listen.

I got a date
with Sam tonight.

I figure it's gonna cost me
about 40 bucks

but I'm a little short.

Yeah, alright, buddy.

- How much do you need?
- About 40 bucks.

Well, here you go,
here is one buck

and all you need is 39 more.

Wait, you're broke?

What happened to your job
at the lumberyard?

Let's just say those forklifts
are a lot trickier

to operate then they look.

Dude, that is the fourth job
you lost this month.



[doorbell ringing]
Third.

You can't count that incident
at the zoo.

Who knew monkeys can't chew gum.

- Hey, J.T.
- Hey, Sam, you look great.

- Thank you.
- 'Sam.'

Hey, guys. Uh, sorry I'm late.

We were swamped at the garage.

Our apprentice mechanic
quit today.

He quit, just like that?

J.T., I know
it's a foreign concept to you

but some people actually
leave a job voluntarily.

So have you filled the job yet?

Nah. Uh, do you know somebody?

Heh, do I know somebody?
Yes, me.

[chuckles]
No, seriously.

I mean, we really need
some help at the garage.

I am serious.

I don't think
that's a good idea.

Yeah, really, J.T.,
you know zip about auto repair.

Yeah, dude, Dana is right, you
thought a catalytic converter

was a sex change for a cat.

That is exactly
why I'm perfect for the job.

When it comes to auto repair,
I'm a blank slate.

When it comes to tying your
shoes, you're a blank slate.

You know, J.T., I don't think
workin' together is so smart.

It could put a strain
on our relationship.

Oh, look, Sam,
I'm desperate. Please?

I got no money.
I can't pay my rent.

If you don't give me this job,
the next time you see me

I'll be living
in a refrigerator box

eating little packets
of ketchup.

Okay, o-okay,
I'll talk to my boss.

Yes, alright, baby,
this is so cool.

Oh, I'm gonna be a mechanic.

Grease under my finger nails,
sweaty armpits

and butt crack
as far as the eye could see.

Sam, you're one lucky girl.

[theme song]

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[instrumental music]

I just don't know what to do.

Mommy, it's called fish.
Pick a card.

Hey, hey.

And how are my two favorite
girls today?

Well, you're in a good mood.

Did they finally drain that
porta-potty at the job site?

Even better. Honey, I made
a great deal today.

You know the 1000 bucks that
old man Bickley still owed me

for the work on the patio?

I talked him into giving me
somethin' even better.

Oh, Frank, we're not going
into the mail order

denture business again, are we?

No, come on, it's outside
and it's a surprise.

I wanna show you.
Come on, here we go.

You're gonna love it.

[laughs]

Huh? What do you think?

I think that mail order
denture business

is sounding real good.

Oh, come on, Carol,
look at this baby.

This is a Norwegian
racing sloop.

In her day, she was the fastest
thing on the water.

Yeah, and now this is
the ugliest thing in our yard.

Frank, have you lost your mind?

I can't believe
you passed up a $1000

for this old bucket
of barnacles.

A, a bucket of barnacles?

Honey, this
is a nautical classic.

This is an eyesore.

You cannot leave this
in our backyard.

You can't leave it
in the front yard

or else the trash man
might take it.

Well, it is obvious to me
that you two do not appreciate

the potential
of this lovely lady.

Would you quit calling it
a lady? It gives me the creeps.

Oh, honey, come on,
it's a tradition.

Your boat is your mistress.
And isn't she a beautiful gal?

I mean, look
at the old world craftsmanship.

The sleekness of her lines
and this baby, honey

is as solid as a rock.

Just, just got a put in
a little work on her

and by Gaul, I'll have her out

on the middle of the lake
in no time.

Don't go out on that boat,
daddy, you'll die!

No, I won't, honey.
It's just..

[instrumental music]

Uh, Mr. Evans,
have you seen J.T.?

He was here just a minute ago.

Last time I saw the boy

he was tryin' to blow up
a tire with his mouth.

Sam, I'm not sure
he's gonna work out.

Uh, it's just his first day.
He'll be fine, I promise.

J.T.

J.T.

[J.T.]
'Sam, help!'

- Help! Help!
- J.T.?

[sighs]

Thanks.

Man, I thought I was a goner.

Man, I haven't been this short
of breath since you lost

your bikini top
at that water slide.

What were you doing in there?

I was changing the trunk lights,
like you told me.

I climbed inside to see
if the light goes off

and you closed the trunk,
like this.

[J.T.]
'Sam!'

[banging]

- It does.
- Tell you what.

Why don't you just follow me
for the rest of the day?

Right behind you, Sam.

[engine revving]

Okay.

What we're going to do
on this car

is adjust the carburetor.

[J.T.]
'Wow, that's sounds
pretty complicated.'

What do we have to do,
turn the crank case?

Overhaul the tranny?
Drop the engine?

No, just turn this little screw.

Well, any idiot could do that.

We're about to find out.

Okay, just turn the little screw

until the engine idles smoothly.

Wow, listen to that.
She's purrin' like a kitten.

You know, Sam, I think
I was born to be a mechanic--

[clanking]

Lambert,
why don't you take lunch

in another state?

[instrumental music]

[whirring]

I know that hurts a little,
old gal.

But you're way past due
for a makeover.

You're gonna be as smooth as
the blow hole on a baby dolphin.

[whirring]

Dad!

Frank!

Any chance we could get
some quiet around here?

Hey, what's the idea
of unplugging my sander?

Do you realize
it's 5:00 in the morning?

I sure do, matey.
It's first watch of the day.

Great mornin', innit?

It was until you started
making all this racket.

Come on, dad, it's Saturday.

Stop the work
so we can go back to sleep.

Oh, come on.
Stow that kind of talk.

Sleep is for the land lubbers.

Come on aboard and shiver me
timbers and swab the poop deck.

Dad, stop it.

You sound like the drunken host
of a sea food restaurant.

Oh, mom, make him stop.

He's lost his mind,
he's flipped out.

It's 5 a.m. and he's working
on his stupid boat.

Karen, I don't want
either of you

being disrespectful to Frank.

Now, I want you
to apologize and then

go back inside that house.

[both]
Sorry.

- Thank you, honey, I apprecia--
- Oh, grow up, Frank.

That was just for the kids.

Have you flipped out? Have you
lost your mind? It is 5 a.m.

Now will you stop working
on this stupid boat?

[instrumental music]

- Lambert!
- Ah, ye-yes. Yes, sir.

Are you done with that brake job
yet? It's been five hours.

Yes, sir, she is ready to go.

Good. I'm gonna take her out
for a road test.

You know, sir,
you might wanna take Elm Street.

The leaves are lovely
this time of year.

Fortunately,
I'll be able to see them

because the screwdriver
missed my eye.

[engine revving]

J.T.

Where is Mr. Evans going
with that car?

Oh, he was just
road testing my brake job.

But I'm supposed
to double check your work

before it's road tested.

Sam, relax I did everything
you told me to do.

- Replace the brake pads?
- All four.

Refill the master cylinder
with brake fluid?

- To the top.
- Bleed the brake line?

"Bleed the brake line?"

Would it be really big deal
if I didn't?

[crashing]

Oh, my God!

Well, look at it this way. At
least we know the airbag works.

Mr. Evans, are you alright?

Sam, my office now!

Yes, sir.

Sorry, Mr. Evans.
Just a little mistake.

I'll get it right next time.

And, sir, you look handsome
in the uniform!

Yes, those pants..

[indistinct screaming]

[sobbing]

What, you're mad?

For what, one little mistake?

J.T., you are responsible
for totaling a car.

[sighs]

He wants me to fire you.

But you talked him out of it,
right?

To tell you the truth,
I-I think it's for the best.

What? But you're my girlfriend.

I know that, honey,
and that's the reason

why I didn't want you
to work here in the first place.

Well, looks like you got
your wish, didn't you, honey?

Oh, so now it's my fault?

Hey, I'm not the one
who wrecked the car.

No, but you could've stood up
for me and you didn't.

Thanks for nothin', Sam.
I'm out of here.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[man on TV]
'For God sake, Tony.'

'Tell me the truth!'

'Who is Lance Junior's
real father?'

[woman on TV]
'Alright, Lance.'

'You're entitled to know.'

'The baby's real father is..'

What are you thinkin' about?

We just waited
three months to find out

who Lance Junior's
real father is.

Who cares? I got real problems.

Sam fired me today.

- Ha-ha. Yes, I win the pool.
- Oh!

I bet you'd get fired
in two days.

Yeah.

I had three days.

I figured
even a bonehead like you

could last 72 hours.

Hello, I am in pain here.
Doesn't anybody care?

What is going on down here?

Oh, guys,
thank God you're home.

The worst thing happened
to me today.

You finally realized
you need relaxed-fit jeans?

No. Sam fired me.
Can you believe it?

Oh, gosh, J.T., that's awful.

Finally a little sympathy.
Thank you.

Sympathy, my butt. You just cost
me five bucks in that pool!

I can't believe this.

Nobody in this family
cares about my pain.

I might as well just go live
on the streets alone.

Don't let the door hit you
in the butt on the way out.

Okay, Lilly.

Oh, there she is, my beautiful
baby sister, Lilly.

She loves me.

Listen, Lilly,
I got some bad news.

You're not gonna believe this.
Mean old Sam fired me today.

Does this mean you can't get me
my birthday present?

I got nobody.

Wait a minute, J.T. What
happened? Why did Sam fire you?

I made one little mistake.

- And what was that?
- I almost killed her boss.

But only twice.

Well, it sounds like she didn't
have any other choice.

Sure, she did, she could've
stuck up for me but she didn't.

So I told her what she could do
with her lousy job

and I walked out.

Wait, I don't believe this.
You're mad at her?

She told you that workin'
together was a bad idea.

I mean, J.T.,
you've done some pretty

stupid things in your life
but this has gotta be

the most idiotic,
ridiculous, thick headed--

Dana, Dana, Dana,
do me a favor.

- What?
- Zip it.

You're not helping at all.

In fact, why don't you take
Rich and Lilly

and go into the kitchen, okay?

Let's go, come on. Come on.

[sighs]

J.T., I know you're upset

and I don't wanna hurt
your feelings

but what you did
is way off base.

Me? But I'm the one
hurting here.

Let's just look at this
whole thing

from Sam's side
for a minute, okay?

I mean, to you
it's just another job, right?

Well, to her, it's her
livelihood. It's her career.

It's how she pays her rent,
it's how she buys her food.

And she risked all that
just to give you a chance.

Yeah?

So the right thing for you to do

would be to..

- Get a new girlfriend?
- No.

No.

You think I should apologize,
don't you?

Well, yes, don't you?

Yeah, I realize it's hard
for some men to apologize.

You know, it's like
asking for directions

or sharing the remote control.

Or learning how to zip up
your pants in the dark.

[sighs]
Sam's a great girl, J.T.

Don't lose her 'cause you're too
proud to say you're sorry.

[instrumental music]

Ah!

I bet you that feels good,
don't that, ol' gal?

Gettin' all stripped down.

'Losin' those barnacles
and that old varnish.'

Oh, boy, there's gonna be
a lot of jealous skippers

out on Lake Michigan
when I get through with you.

Frank, I'm really worried
about you.

Ah. Why,
'cause I'm workin' so late?

No, 'cause you're talking
to your boat.

Uh, that's an old tradition,
honey.

All guys talk to their boats.

Not like they wanna take it
to a motel.

I'm just havin'
a good time.

Maybe I did get
a little carried away.

Just wish I understood why this
old tub is so important to you.

Honey..

...has there ever been somethin'
that you dreamed of havin'

but you knew you'd never get?

Yeah.

Mel Gibson in a hot tub.

- I'm serious.
- So am I.

[laughing]

No, when-when I was a teenager

I used to have this summer job
at the marina.

And every weekend,
these rich guys

would jump on their big boats
and sail off into the lake.

And...I used to think

someday I'm gonna have
a lot of money

and I'm gonna have a boat
just like that.

And instead
you had a lot of kids.

Yup, and I love
all seven of 'em.

But when I saw this boat,
Carol, when I saw this

I said, "You know,
I may not have a lot of money.

"I may not be rich,
but I can still have my dream

and I can make it come true
with my own two hands."

Oh, I'm sorry, Frank.

I just didn't realize
how important this was to you.

It's a wonderful dream.

Yeah, well, you know
the best part of it?

- What? Hmm.
- I get to share it with you.

I mean, just think of it,
sweetheart.

There it will be, anchored out
there in the middle of the lake

bottle of wine,
beautiful sunset.

[chuckles]

- I like that picture.
- Mm-hmm.

Permission to come aboard?

Permission granted.

[instrumental music]

Sam? You're still here?

[Sam]
We're closed.

Look, Sam..

...I know you don't wanna
talk to me right now

but...I really need
to talk to you.

Tough, I don't have time.

I've got a lot to do
because someone screwed up

and now my boss is in traction.

Sam, I don't blame you
for being mad at me.

I just really need
to get somethin' off my chest.

I don't care.

But I need to talk to you
face-to-face.

Look, you do that one more time
and I'm gonna use this

torque wrench on something
you really don't want torqued.

Okay, alright, Sam.

I-I know you're mad
but just hear me out, okay?

Look, I was wrong for pushing
you into recommending me

for this job, I mean..

...you put your reputation
on the line

and...I screwed up.

Okay, I'm listening.

Sam, I don't blame you
for firing me.

I mean, I, I was a jerk
for blowin' up at you

and I'm really sorry.

- You mean that?
- Absolutely.

I was totally wrong
and I apologize.

You know, J.T., I'm impressed.

Most guys have such big egos

they could never say
anything like that.

Well, Sam, I'm not most guys.

I'm a big enough man
to admit when I'm wrong.

So what do you say,
do you forgive me?

- Okay, but on one condition.
- Anything.

You never come
near this garage again.

Deal.

[crash]

I'm gone.

[instrumental music]

[crashing]

I'm okay. I'm cool.

- Hello, ladies.
- Hey, Rich.

Did you hear the good news?
J.T. got another job.

Oh, oh, I get two days
in the pool.

Uh, honey, honey, I don't think

he's gonna get fired
from this one.

He said they actually
like him at this job.

- Where is he working?
- You know, I'm not sure.

He said something that
he's, uh, highly visible

in the food services industry.

Well, J.T.

I think you finally found
your calling.

Being a great, big wiener.

Very funny.

Now help me get out
of this thing.

I just had a monster chili dog

and the zipper's stuck.

Hey!

Rich, get over here..

I'm serious!

Help, I'm a wiener
and I can't get up!

[instrumental music]