Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 2, Episode 8 - Someone to Watch Over Me - full transcript

[instrumental music]

Well, I guess that's about it.

Gee, I can't tell you
how excited I am

about going to this
beauty convention.

Now, look, while I'm gone
if you have any problems

or you have any questions,
I want you to go to Frank, okay?

He's in charge.

You've gotta be kidding.

No, look, he's your stepfather
and I expect you to obey him

the same way you would obey me.

Maybe even better. I mean, you
could actually do what he says.



Mom, as you know,
I'm usually verycooperative

but if Frank asks me to engage
in any roughhousing

or horseplay, I may need
to contact my attorney.

Mother, seriously, leaving Frank
in charge of this house

is like leaving a chimpanzee
in charge of the zoo.

Well, Dana, I hope when you ask
this chimp for money

and get peanuts,
that you'll understand.

[mimicking chimpanzee]

[theme song]

[screaming]

♪ The dream got broken ♪

♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪

♪ What would be the future? ♪

♪ Could you pay the cost? ♪



♪ You wonder ♪

♪ Will there ever be ♪

♪ A second time around? ♪

♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪

♪ When the tears are over ♪

♪ And the moment has come ♪

♪ Say My Lord
I think I found someone ♪

♪ You know it will be better ♪

♪ 'Cause you're
putting it together ♪

♪ For the second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ It will be better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

[sniffs]

- Hi, Frank.
- Oh, hi, Dana.

Mm. Hmm, smells yummy.

Look, um, I'd like to apologize

for that little chimpanzee crack
I made this morning.

Hey, forget it,
so busy eatin' bananas

and swingin'
from that tire in the yard

I forgot all about it.

[chuckling]

Oo-o-oh, Frank!

You're so witty.

I mean,
between that and your charm

really, I'm so blessed
to have you as a stepfather.

Yes, you are.
Now, what do you want?

Okay, I was studying at the
Langley College Library today

and I met this terrific guy,
and he asked me out.

Can I go?

Well, I don't know, Dana,
I'd like to know

a little more about him.

Okay, he's a little older.

A little older than you
or a little older than me?

Older than you? That's sick!

He's 19.

Nineteen, that's not too bad.

As long as you're home
by your usual midnight curfew

you can go.

Really? I can go?

Oh, yeah!
You're pretty level-headed.

I think I can trust ya.

[retches]

Thanks, Frank. I mean,
this guy is really great!

You might even know him.

He does construction work

part-time to pay for college.

His name is Mike Walters.

Mike Walters?

Yeah.

Listen, Dana

I hate to be the one
to tell you this

but Mike's nickname

is "Mike the Mover,"
and they don't call him that

because he used
to work for Beacons.

I don't want you
to go out with him.

But you just said that I could.
It was an official yes.

Well, yeah, but that was before
I knew you had a date with a guy

who's got more bedtime stories
than Dr. Seuss.

This is totally unfair!

You just said
that you trusted me

but obviously, you don't.

- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't!

Because if you did trust me,
you'd let me go.

But the fact
that you won't let me go

means that you really
don't trust me.

Ergo..

...when you said you trusted me,
you were lying.

[scoffs]

Is that the kind of stepfather
you wanna be, Frank?

A liar?

No.

I- I said I trusted you
and, and I meant it.

You can go.

- Thank you.
- Hm.

No further questions.

Boy, she's good!

[instrumental music]

[J.T.]
Dad, can I borrow
your truck tonight?

Me and the guys wanna go
bowling, it's ladies' night.

Sure, as long as you wash
and wax it for me tomorrow.

Aw, man, waxing that thing
will take all day!

Okay, walk to the bowling alley,
see what I care.

Oh, I get it!

Carol's out of town
for the night

so you're a little cranky.

Okay, I'll wax your truck.

Here's the keys, now,
tomorrow you go to Auto World.

Take this $15 and buy a can
of Royal Carnauba wax.

It's the only thing
I ever use on my truck.

Fifteen bucks
for a stupid can of wax?

Money is no object
when it comes to

taking care of somethin' I love.

Well, in that case, can I have
200 bucks for a leather jacket?

[sighs]

When you become as reliable
as my truck, we'll talk.

- Dude! Ha-ha!
- Dude! Ha-ha!

Hey, Uncle Frank,
have you seen Dana?

You know, I want to take her out
for some ice cream tonight

or maybe go digging
for night crawlers.

[chuckles]

"Diggin' for night crawlers."

Yeah, that'd be
my first choice, too.

[laughs]
But you know women..

Tcha.
Anyway, have you seen her?

Listen, Cody, I-I'm sorry
to be the one to tell you this

but Dana is out on a date.

Whoa!

Major bummer. Tcha.

You know, Uncle Frank

after a year and a half
of total rejection

I'm beginnin' to think Dana
isn't just playing hard to get.

So who's the lucky guy?

Who gets to go out
with Dana tonight?

- Mike Walters.
- No way!

Tcha! Mike the Mover?

Color me disenchanted.

Tell me about it, listen,
Carol's gone for one whole day

and I let her daughter go out
with a guy

who's got his own parking place
at Make-Out Point.

Make-Out Point?

Is that that place
overlookin' the lake?

Tcha, they don't call that
Make-Out Point anymore.

They don't? Ha-ha!
What a relief!

Yeah, now they call it
Suck Face Hill.

Aw, geez!

Wow! What a night!

Two boys actually fought
over me at the movies.

[chuckles]

Uh, this is
the most exciting thing

that has happened around here
in weeks!

Well, except for Dana
going to Suck Face Hill

with that stud muffin.

Goodnight.

- We gotta get up there!
- Oh!

No problem, Uncle Frank.

We can be there in ten minutes

if we stay off the main roads

and cut through
Garvy's Poultry Farm.

Okay! Fine, fine!

Five, if we don't
get any chicken

sucked into the radiator.

Alright!

[instrumental music]

[owl hooting]

It's really beautiful up here.

Yeah, it sure is.

This is what I call
a perfect night.

Just you and me, all alone.

Except some moonlight

and the rustling of the trees.

Whoa! There they are!

I can't believe Dana's
with that guy. Tcha.

Cody, Cody,
turn out the lights.

Why?

Because bushes with headlights

might seem a bit suspicious.

Well, Uncle Frank, you really
got the spy stuff down, huh?

You know, I-I can't see a thing

with all these branches
on the windshield.

[Cody]
Oh! I can tell you
what's happenin'.

They're suckin' face.

Hence the name,
Suck Face Hill.

Imagine my heartbreak.

Listen, Cody, I wanna know
what elseis going on in there.

Okay.

Well, you can climb
that tree over there.

You could see really good
from that limb.

Aw, man, that's crazy.

- There's gotta be another way.
- Yeah.

Okay, plan B.

You could dress up
in a beaver suit.

And then you could haul over
a bunch of branches

and twigs and, leaves and stuff

and pretend to be building
a dam over by Mike's car.

[laughs]

I think I'll go with plan A.

- Yeah, plan A.
- Yeah, get out.

- Get out!
- Yeah.

- Are you cold?
- A little.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

[owl hooting]

Okay. Now, I want you
to hoist me up there.

- On three. Okay?
- Okay.

One, two, three!

Oh!

[groaning]

[grunting]

You know this'd be a lot easier

if I had some gloves.

Oh! No problem, Uncle Frank.
I got some in my van.

Cody! Cody!

[grunting]

You know something?

You are a nice guy.

Oh, hey, look, all those
Mike the Mover stories are bull.

I mean, I mean, you know
how construction guys are.

They talk.

I guess I could have
set them straight, but I figured

let the guys
believe what they want.

- 'So none of it's true?'
- 'No!'

Well, except the one
about me and Madonna.

But I'm sure
you've seen the video.

[Mike]
You know what?
You're a great kisser.

Thanks. Mm, so are you.

[creaking]

Frank!

Mike! I'm really glad
I ran into you.

You available to do
a little dry wallin' tomorrow?

[instrumental music]

[laughing]
Oh, yeah, Carol

everything here
is going just great.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

You die now!

Uh, look, Carol, I think
Dana wants to talk to me.

So I gotta go.

Bye-bye.

How dare you
embarrass me like that?

I'm sorry, now, I shouldn't
have been up there spying

but, Dana,
I was worried about you.

You said you trusted me!

Well, yes,
but when your mother comes home

and asks what went on
this weekend

I didn't wanna have to tell her

"Well, nothin' much,
Al lost a game.

Brendan lost a tooth,
Dana became a woman."

Frank, we were just kissing.

It wasn't gonna go
any further than that.

Well, how can you
be so sure?

Now, Dana, guys like Mike are
only interested in one thing.

Mike is a decent guy!

- He's just misunderstood!
- And you bought that?

God, geez! Did he also tell you,
"I only have a week to live?"

Look, this conversation is over.

From now on, do me a favor
and stay out of my life!

I should've gone
with the beaver suit.

[instrumental music]

Mark! You are such a dink!

If you wanna catch the ball,
you gotta stop flinching!

Hey, I flinch.
It's hereditary.

I come from a long line
of flinchers.

Hey, guys,
playin' another fun game

of Hit-Mark-In-The-Head-
With-The-Ball?

J.T., I don't appreciate
your condescending tone!

And if the yard wasn't spinning,
I'd do something about it.

I'm sorry, little man,
it's just that I'm feeling

even smarter than usual.

Dad gave me 15 bucks
to buy some bogus car wax.

I found this stuff for 89 cents

which leaves me
with a $14 profit.

Wait a minute, let me see that.

- "Zap Wax."
- Hah!

"Makes your car sparkle
in only 30 minutes."

Hey, J.T., if you give me
50 cents, I'll help you.

Ha! I'll do better than that.

I'll give you a dollar

and you could do
the whole thing yourself.

Wow, a dollar?

I'm rich!

This is perfect,
I'm making money

for doing absolutely nothing.

Is this a great country or what?

Oh!

[instrumental music]

[J.T.]
'Whoa! A body slam!'

Oh, yeah! Another body slam!

Oh, man,
the Milwaukee Mauler is awesome!

I just can't believe
Dana was in that guy's car!

[exhales]

Alright, Codeman,
let's talk about it.

[sighs]

When I saw Dana in Mike's car

with her arms around him

her lips pressed
firmly against his..

...it was just another sign
that our relationship

is in deep trouble.

[sighs]

Codeman..

...I don't wanna hurt
your feelings

so I'm gonna break this
to you gently.

You and Dana
have no relationship!

She doesn't like you!
She'll neverlike you!

Never, ever!

She'd rather play ping-pong

with one of her eyeballs
than go out with you.

So, dude, what are you saying?

I'm saying, let her go.
It's time to move on!

Whoa!

Watershed moment.

Codeman, there's a world
of babes out there

and you don't even know
what you're missing!

- You really think so?
- Absolutely.

Tcha.

You may be right, cuz.

Maybe it is time I checked out
the ol' babe buffet, huh?

I mean,
not the buffet with old babes.

I'm not going
to Miami or anything.

[laughs]
Really..

I'm done washing
daddy's truck, J.T.

Can I have my dollar?

Sure, but first, I wanna see

what kinda job you did.

Well, in that case

just give me 79 cents.

Why? Is there something wrong?

Tell you what,
keep the money. Bye!

Whoa!

Don't be shy, cuz.

You should be proud
of your work.

I don't think so.

[Cody]
Whoa!

Now we know
why they call it Zap Wax. Tcha.

Looks like it got zapped
by a bolt of lightning!

[whimpers]

Ah, Brendan, what did you do?

It's not my fault!
It's that stupid wax you bought.

Yeah, but if you saw
it was ruining the paint

why didn't you stop?

I don't know, I kept thinking

it might get better!

Man, you are really stupid.

Maybe, but I'm only seven!

What's your excuse?

[Frank]
'Hey, where is everybody?
You guys back here?'

Tcha..

[whistling]

[gasps]

Wha..

Alright.

I wanna know exactly
what happened here.

Okay, I-I bought cheap wax

and I paid Brendan a buck
to do the job!

- I'm sorry, dad!
- You're sorry?

You just think you're sorry.

Wait till you have to cough up

500 bucks
to repaint my truck!

Five hundred bucks,
how am I gonna come up

with five hundred bucks?

Does the word organ donor
mean anything to you?

Uh, dad, isn't that two words?

I'll give you two words.
Get in the truck!

Isn't that three words?

[instrumental music]

[doorbell ringing]

- 'Hi.'
- Hi.

I just thought I'd stop by
and see

how you were doin'
after last night.

Oh, I'm fine.

- Uh, come on in.
- Are you sure?

I mean, Frank's not gonna spring
out of a chandelier, is he?

[chuckling]

No, he and my other
step-idiots aren't here.

Um, can I get you
anything to drink?

Uh, iced tea? Soda..

Mineral water?
Root beer..

No, I'm not thirsty.

[chuckles]
Neither am I.

Oh, boy,
this sure is a lot nicer

without my stepfather
falling into the backseat.

Well, you know what
would make this even better?

If we, uh, went up to your room.

We don't have to do that, I mean
we're doing fine right here.

Yeah, well, what if we wanna do
more than just kiss?

Like what?

Like what we were
gonna do last night

if Frank hadn't dropped in.

All I was planning on
was just kissing.

Well, maybe you need
to change your plans.

- Cut it out.
- Come on, what's the problem?

I don't wanna go upstairs, okay?

Oh, I understand,
you're a little nervous.

But, uh, don't worry,
I'm a very nice guy.

I said, cut it out.

Come on, you know you want to.

- I think you better leave.
- Why?

Because I don't like
what's happening here.

Oh, come on, Dana,
knock off the little-girl act.

You wanna see a big girl?
How's this? Get out!

- Now.
- You serious?

Yeah, real serious.

Get out of my house!

[scoffs]

Well, this is the last time
I'll date a high-school girl.

- Just get out.
- Is there a problem here?

Not anymore.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

It's just that Mike
turned out to be

exactly the kind of guy
you said he was.

A jerk.
He was only after one thing.

So, I threw him out.

I see.

Go ahead, Frank. Say it.

- Say what?
- "I told you so."

Oh, well, yeah.
I was right about Mike.

More importantly, Dana,
you were right about you.

What do you mean?

Dana, when kids are little..

...you can protect them
24 hours a day.

When they get to be your age,
you have to let 'em go.

All you can do is pray
that they have the common sense

and the maturity to deal
with whatever is out there.

Now, yesterday, you told me
that I could trust you..

...that you could take care
of yourself.

And today you did.

I'm real proud of ya.

Thanks, Frank.

[instrumental music]

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm just fine.
It was no big deal.

Hey.

[sobbing]

[Alicia]
Okay, Mark.

Now I know football's
hard to throw

but anyone can throw a baseball.

Even a dink like you.

[Mark]
I really don't think I should.

My bursitis
has been acting up lately.

What a geek boy.

Gimme the ball,
I'll show you how it's done.

[scoffs]

Okay, you grip it real tight.

Hold it by the seams.

Plant your back foot.

Hah, then you let her fly!

[glass cracks]

[instrumental music]