Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 23 - Long Walk Down a Short Dirt Road - full transcript

Country music star Lynn Anderson guest stars as Sue Ann Grainger, a country singer stalked by a gravelly voiced psychopath who insists she owes him $10,000. Stalling the investigation is Grainger's resisting Starsky & Hutch's offer to help.


♪ He's a rodeo cowboy
He follows the circuit ♪

♪ Where top money's paid
That's where he'll be found ♪

♪ The only thing he owns
Is a horse and silver saddle ♪

♪ Rodeo cowboy He'll
never settle down ♪♪

Thank you.

That was great. That was great.

Oh, wait a minute. Oh.

MAN: Yeah! Yeah!

Oh, please... thank you, really.

You people have
always been so kind to me

at the Saddle-Bar.

You know, I think they
deserve something special.

Let me sing you a new
song, a brand-new song.

Let's do "Wrap Your Love," okay?

Listen, we haven't even
really recorded this yet.

We're going to record
it later this week,

so first time for you, okay?



♪ Hey, don't you know ♪

♪ This old world It
can go up and down ♪

♪ That I found ♪

♪ Love keeps a-turnin' ♪

♪ Turnin' ♪

♪ He is the fire
That fills my desire ♪

♪ And warms... ♪♪

You made it.

You noticed.

If it wasn't for that
blond tuft of hair,

I wouldn't know it was you.

What are you doing?
Impersonating a tent?

It's a serape.


It's called a serape.


What's that? Indian?

I didn't know they
allowed Indians

in a hillbilly joint like this.

It's country, Starsk, country.

♪ Give your all When
the sun goes down ♪

♪ To your man ♪

Well, you know,
it's all the same...

Taverns, truck stops,

beer bottles, broken hearts...

pure Americana.

If you don't shut up,

one of these good ol' boys

is going to do more
than break your heart.

If I wasn't on a case right now,

I wouldn't get caught dead

in a hillbilly joint like this.

Just be sure you don't
get dragged out that way.

Oh, well, whatever.

It's country, Starsk, country.

Whatever. Shh.

♪ You can hear someone say
What they have's gone bad ♪

♪ And the feeling is dying ♪

♪ Dying ♪

♪ You know you can save
What is slipping away ♪

♪ All that you've got to
do Is never stop trying ♪

♪ Trying ♪

♪ You can make something
old Something new ♪

♪ By giving him
something To hold onto ♪

♪ Ahh, ahh, ahh ♪

♪ Wrap your love
All around your man ♪

♪ Give your all When
the sun goes down ♪

♪ To your man ♪

♪ Show him you can be a lover ♪

♪ And he'll show you That
he'll never need no other ♪

♪ Wrap your love
All around your man ♪

♪ Wrap your love
All around your man ♪

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!


Bravo! Bravo!





Bravo! Bravo!


Saddle-Bar Club.

[RASPY VOICE] Yeah, let
me talk to Sue Ann Grainger.

She just finished for the night.

This is J.C. Grainger.

I've got to talk to Sue
Ann. Family emergency.

Well... okay.

I'll put you through
to her dressing room.



Hello, Sue Ann.

Hey, who are you?

Why do you keep calling me?

You still haven't
figured it out, Sue Ann?

That doesn't please
me very much,

but then I suppose you've
forgotten a lot of people

since you got to be a success,

people and places,

like maybe Pittsville,
North Carolina.

Hey, uh... if you've
got a problem, fellow,

if you tell me who you
are, maybe I can help you.


We're closed, we're closed.

He's a tourist.
You don't mind him.

Come on. Get in closer together.

Now, smile. Smile.

He's on the phone.


Oh, here.

Hey, if you think you
can scare me, man,

just forget it. Just...

Police, Ms. Grainger.

Just keep him talking

and tell him you'll meet him.

Who's in there with you?


He hung up.

Did you bring these
guys here, Cal?

Yeah. I figured
it was about time

that screwball was put in
a cage where he belongs.

Cal gets kind of antsy

about these things
sometimes, you know?

I'm really sorry you
went to so much trouble.

I hope you weren't in the middle
of doing something important

like stopping organized
crime or something like that.

We did that last week.

Miss Grainger, from
what Cal's been telling us,

this caller of yours might
be a little dangerous.

No. He's just a
guy trying to con.

You know the kind.

He says if I give him
$10,000, he'll stop calling me,

and the way I figure it,

for $10,000, I can
take a little annoyance.

I mean, it's not like the
guy is calling me collect.

Yeah, well, look,
you could play it safe.

We could look into it.

In the meantime,

come to the station,
sign a complaint.

Just take a few minutes.

Hey, if I filed a complaint

on every guy who calls
me in the dressing room,

I'd be in the police station
all the time, you know?

Nah, I figure the guy'll
just get tired after a while

and give up.

I sure don't see any
reason to try to hurt the guy.

We don't want
to hurt him either.

Now, come on, honey.

Do it for both of us.

Now, with their help,

we could probably
persuade him to stop

without getting him
into any big trouble.

That is, if we can find him.

It'll just take a few minutes.

I still think it's a big
deal over nothing.

Cal, if it'll make
you feel any better,


guess. Why not?



When do we do this, huh?

Well, now's as
good a time as any.

We've got the car out front.

Tonight? Sure.

Well, they do come
prepared, don't they?

Want me to help you?

But of course.

Chivalry is not dead.

About the sooner
we get this done,

I guess the sooner I
can get some sleep, huh?

That's right.

I told you we were closed.

No. Nope.

Come on.

Hey, there she is,

the first little lady
of country song.

Hey, Sue Ann,

we paid $10 to get in here

and we had lousy seats.

We figure you owe us one,

so break out the guitar, okay?

I'm sorry, Miss Grainger.

I tried to get rid of them.

Hey, the throat's
kind of gone tonight.

Just going to take
the money and run?

Why don't you guys go somewhere

and sleep this off?

Why don't you shut up, old man?

We ain't talking to you.

Hey, hey, back off, will you?

Hey, stay out of this, city boy.

Hey, look, friend, we're
the law here right now,

so back off unless you want
to do time in the slammer.

Come on.

Hey, come here.

I'll take the blond, okay?

You in this too?

I'll take the blond.


Does anybody here
know the words...

"My nose is in a splint,

"because I didn't
catch the glint

in the eye of the
cop in the alley?"

I ain't never
heard of that song.

Well, learn it.

I don't know how to sing.

You know how to walk?

Everybody walks.

Show me.

You lousy cops.

What right you got
hanging around Sue Ann?

You mess with the
lady again, friend,

you're going to find out.

Hey, that's terrific.

You sound just like Dirty Harry.

Dirty who?


He's a cop over
in San Francisco.


I warned her not to
bring in the police.

Now... now, Miss Grainger,

how long have you been
receiving these phone calls?

About a month, I guess.

They started at
a club in Phoenix.

Here we are.

Coffee and doughnuts.

Looks like we're getting
some preferential treatment.

Not at all, Miss Grainger.

We treat all our
suspects the same

in this community.

The man has a way with words.

Like some coffee?

Yeah, please.

Cream and sugar?
Just sugar, thanks.

How long's this guy
been following you?

Every time we
move to a new place,

he's there a couple
of days later...

Phoning up, making threats,

saying he's going
to kill somebody.

He won't give me a name,

but tonight, he did
mention a place.

He said something

about a Pitt...
Pittsville, North Carolina.

Hey, why don't you guys
call me Sue Ann, okay?

It's a pleasure to
meet you, Sue Ann.

Did I tell you my
wife's second cousin

used to live across the street

from Charlie Pride?

Oh, really?

While he was still
at junior high school.

McKinley, before
McKinley became Carver.

Excuse me, Starsky.

Any time.

Sue Ann, have you
ever been to Pittsville?

It's possible.

I've been picking and
singing a lot of places,

a long time.

They all kind of look alike
after a while, you know?


Did this guy give you any reason
why you should give it to him?

Well, he says I owe it to him.

Maybe he doesn't
like my singing.

Well, if that's true,
the guy really is crazy.

Here. Sign this, will you?

Right down there.

Here you go. Thanks.

You know, um... until tonight,

I hadn't really thought

too seriously about this.

You guys don't really think
this guy is dangerous, do you?

I mean, he's not going to
do anything crazy, is he?

Well, uh... men like this
usually aren't dangerous,

but it doesn't hurt to
check it out just in case.

Oh, Sue Ann,

I was wondering if I
might have your autograph

for my son.

He's such a big fan. Sure.


What's his name?

Just put it to Harold C.

To Harold. Sure.


I thought your son's name was...

Uh, Starsky,

just mind your business, huh?

Harold C. Will do just fine.

SUE ANN: Okay.

How are you doing?

No, thank you.

You go ahead.

Drink up, old man.

Looks better that way.

Nobody gives a damn for anybody

except number one.

It's a tired old circus,

and the music in
the merry-go-round's

all out of tune.

I'm going to do you a favor.

I'm going to give you a purpose,

a reason for living,
a reason for dying.

Sweet music, old man.




Give me Quincy 9-6-4-1-5.



I killed an old man in an
alley this morning, Sue Ann.

You what?

I said, I killed an old man,

and it's your fault.

I told you not
to call the police.

Now, I want you to
get $10,000 in cash.

Put it in a paper bag...

The tennis courts
three blocks north

of your hotel.

There's an orange
trash receptacle

on the corner.

At 2:00,

put the paper
bag of money in it,

then walk away.

Hey, listen, uh...
you've got to be nuts.

You just do what
I'm telling you,

and no police this time

or somebody else
is going to get killed.

Hey, wait a...

Hello. Give me the police.

Yeah, it's an emergency.


Hey, good afternoon.


Good afternoon.

Sue Ann.

Sue Ann. How's
the country warbler?

Oh, okay.


Well, uh...

they found an old derelict

shot to death this morning

in a downtown alley.

Oh, my God.

Sue Ann, it was on
radio and television.

He could have just heard it.

Uh-uh. No.

He told me he did it.
He admitted it to me.

Yeah, well,

psychos read something
in the newspaper,

they see it on television,

they hear it on the radio,

and they take credit for it.

Sue Ann, the best
way to learn the truth

is to find the man.

Hey, I don't even
want to try to find him.

I just want to take the money
to that park and give it to him

and maybe that'll
be the end of it.

That won't be the end of it.

You pay now,

and you'll keep on paying.

Well, maybe there's
another way to go.

At least you could
let us help you

set up the payment,

then we can move on the man.

He said no police, man.

What... What if
somebody got hurt?

What if something went wrong?

I don't want to
kill anybody else.

Sue Ann, you
didn't kill anybody.

Yeah, well, maybe not,
but I... I feel like I did.

Hey, there was a time

a few years ago

when $10,000 would
have meant everything

to me.

You know. You remember.

But, uh...

but I can afford it.

I've been down,

almost as low as this guy.

I understand him.

I know how he feels.

Maybe if I give him the $10,000,

it'll kind of even things
out for me, you know?

I mean, maybe I
do kind of owe it.

Well, first you
owe it to yourself.

Now, if you want to
do the man some good,

why don't you let us
take him into custody?

We've got experts who
can deal with people like that.

He's right. You know it.

Well, you won't hurt him?

Well, we'll sure try not to.

That you can count on.

Might give him a bloody nose.

Okay. Yeah.

I'll get it.

I warned her.

You okay?

Yeah. You?


How did he know?

You got me.

Well, maybe he had an
aversion to blue and yellow.

It's gold.

♪ Wrap your love
All around your man ♪

♪ Give your all When
the sun goes down ♪

♪ To your man ♪

♪ Show him you can be a lover ♪

♪ And he'll show you That
he'll never need no other ♪

♪ Wrap your love
All around your man ♪

♪ Wrap your love ♪

♪ All around your man ♪♪

Okay, that was a good one.

I think that ought to do it.

Yeah. Hey, thanks, Terry.

Let me hear it back, okay?

Is that it, Sue Ann?

Yeah. You guys go ahead.

Go eat or something.

I'll catch you at 12.

Eat a hamburger for me.

Sure. Maybe we'll
bring you one later.

Yeah, okay.

Hey, that guitar is...

See you later, Sue Ann.

Okay, Sue Ann?

Yeah. Any time.

One, two, three, four.


♪ Hey, don't you know ♪

♪ This old world It
can go up and down ♪

♪ That I found ♪


Hey, what's wrong, Harry?

[RASPY VOICE] You know
what's wrong, Sue Ann?

You sing so well,

like you really
care about people,

but you don't.

It's another lie.

You can't be trusted.

You don't care.

I told you not to
bring the police into it.

Hey, I didn't want
to, man. I really...

You didn't want to?

What do you mean
you didn't want to?

They were there.

I thought I was
doing the right thing.

Killing me?

Is that what you think's right?

Is that what you mean?

No. You don't understand.

You don't even remember
me, but you want me dead.

You don't remember me, do you?

How many people

have you used and forgotten,

Sue Ann?

How many, Sue Ann?

How many?!


You told those cops to kill me?

I'm coming to
punish you for that.

You hear me?

I'm going to punish you again.

You get that money back.

You put it in your purse.

The next time you hear from me,

you be ready to give it to me,

you be ready for sure...

and no cops.

No nobody.



♪ Life keeps a-turnin' ♪

♪ Turning ♪

♪ He is the fire
That fills my desire ♪

♪ And warms... ♪♪

I shouldn't have let you try it.

I was afraid something like
this was going to go wrong.

Look, honey,

they were playing it
the only way they could.

I know, Cal.

I'm not blaming anybody,

except maybe me.

Wait... Wait a minute.

Sue Ann, you're the victim here,

and don't forget that.


Yeah, well, victims
got rights too.

From now on,

I'm going to
handle this myself...

Not... I know you're
just doing your job.

I know you're doing
the best you can,

but I've got to
keep you out of it.

I just don't want to let
anybody else get hurt

just because I'm trying
to save 10,000 bucks.

Now, this guy said...

he said that I don't
care about people.

Maybe if I can
convince him he's wrong,

he'll stop.

He's not going to stop

as long as you guys are in this,

so just stay out of it, okay?


Just stay out of it.

Sue Ann...

I'll try to talk to her.



We have to stay
on this thing now.

I know.

I must admit,

I don't understand it myself.

She's a little girl.

She feels guilty about the fact

that she's happier
than anybody else.

You know, something
about this whole thing

is troubling me.

In that recording
studio, to do what he did,

that guy had to know something
about that engineer's board.

I mean, that's a
complicated item.


So that means that we know

at least three things about him.

We know that he knows
something about recording studios,

we know that something's
wrong with his voice,

and we know he's from
Pittsville, South Carolina.

North Carolina.

North Carolina.


So maybe the local police there

might know something about him.

Get on that.


I want you to get
the local sheriff in.


♪ Seems that I don't
think About you too much ♪

♪ And I'm not too sure Why
I've thought of you now ♪

♪ Time has a way Of
numbing the touch ♪

♪ But I still recall
When you left me ♪

♪ Just how much it
hurt me To stand there ♪



Nothing yet.

♪ I couldn't
believe It was true ♪

♪ After moments we shared ♪

♪ And the souls That we bared ♪

♪ I've never loved anyone more ♪

♪ But like I said... ♪

♪ And for all of the pain ♪

♪ I would love you again ♪

♪ And I've never
loved anyone More ♪

♪ And for all of the pain ♪

♪ I would love you again ♪

♪ I've never loved
anyone More ♪♪

That's Miss Sue Ann Grainger,

live, here at the Saddle-Bar...

Anything? Nothing.



It's ringing.


Sue Ann, I've got an
ID card in my hand.

Mr. John Callum.

Hutch, he's on.

I took it out of his
wallet a little while ago,

right after we killed him.


What do you mean "we"?

I told you you had
to be punished.

Your latest victim is
lying by the fountain

in Emerson Park.

Now maybe you'll believe me,

and if you don't tell
the police to stay away,

there'll be somebody else.

Now, keep that
money in your purse.

You'll be hearing from me.

Hey, listen...

He didn't stay on long enough.

Look, you see that Miss Grainger

gets back to her hotel.

Stay with her till
you're relieved.

Yes, sir.

What? Where are we going?

Fountain at Emerson Park.

What for? Nothing, I hope.

Driver's license
says John Callum.

How are we going to tell Sue Ann

this time, huh?


Jerry Tabor,

Pittsville, North Carolina.

Is that the guy we
chased in the park?

I don't know.

I think so.

Sheriff says he owned the
only radio station in town.

Always drinking,
getting into fights.

Finally got stabbed
in the throat.

His voice.


When I mentioned his voice,

Sheriff put it
together right away.

Yeah, but what's the
connection to Sue Ann?

He doesn't know of any.

Are you having any
copies of those made?

Yeah. They'll be
ready in a half-hour.

And how many men can we spare?

Maybe six besides yourselves.

For the whole city?

I know that's not many.

It's better than none at all.



This was dropped
off for Miss Grainger.

Just a moment.

Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

What is it?

Oh, it's nothing.

Listen, Cal, I'm
not really hungry.

You go ahead and have
breakfast without me, huh.

I think I'm just gonna
do some shopping.

It's from him, isn't it?

Just have your breakfast, Cal.

Now, come on, Sue Ann.
You can't be doing this.

You know that.

Two people have
already been killed, Cal.

Somebody's gotta do something.

Sue Ann, he'll kill you.

Okay, Fireball, just for me.



HUGGY: Strike!

Hey, Fireball, what's happening?

How you doing, Fireball?

Oh, hiya, fellows.

I haven't seen you
around in quite a while.

True, but we've been
reading about you in the paper,

and you're doing just fine.

Got your call. What you got?

We got three balls
and two strikes

and maybe the whole ball game.


Fireball here thinks
he saw the cat

you're looking for.

You've seen this guy, Fireball?



Listen, brother, I ain't
got no time to be talking

because I got a Mantle
on and I'm facing Maris

with the long count.

I'm gonna keep a close
eye on Mantle till he's on 2nd.

He's not moving a muscle.

Look, you need some eyeglasses.

Why's that?

Because he's already stole 3rd.


He ain't never been that fast.

HUTCH: Look, look,

I'm gonna keep an
eye on Mantle on 3rd.

Tell us when you saw this
guy. I saw him this morning.


Coming out the hotel down there.

You sure?

Look, with these eyes of mine,
you ever known me to be wrong?

What I mean is,

who sees things
like I see things?

Nobody, Fireball... nobody.

Watch your man on 3rd.
He's gonna steal home.

Never happen.

All right, Huggy. Let's
get this game over.

Oh, yeah! Strike three. Game.

Had a great game, Fireball.

Sorry, Mick.

That was a ball!

That was a strike.

It was a ball.
You're blind, ump.

CAPTAIN: Zebra Three,
Zebra Three, come in, please.

Go ahead, captain.

Just heard from Cal.

Sue Ann got another
phone call from Jerry Tabor.

She's gone off to meet him,
only he doesn't know where.

Maybe with a little
luck we just found out.


Seen this man?

Wears old work
clothes, jeans, boots.

Yeah, He's the guy in
311, but he went out.

When was that?

Oh, about 20 minutes ago.

He have a car?

No. He had me dial him a cab.

You have a list of any other
calls he might have made?

Sure. We have to, for charges.

Which cab company
did you call for him?


Thank you.



Is anybody here?




Hey, is... is anybody here?

Hello, Sue Ann.

I brought the money.

Come here.

Come closer.

You still don't remember me?

You do look kind of familiar.

You're lying.

No, really...

Stop it!

Listen, I brought the
money. I... I got it right here.

You remember Pittsville?

I think I was there.

You think.

I'll tell you, you were.

I had a little
one-man radio station.

You brought me
your first record.

I played it all the
time. I helped you.

Yeah. Yeah, I think
I do remember. Uh...

About four years ago?

Here, just take the money.

I played that record all
the time at the station,

at Tommy's.


Tommy's Tavern.

I put a lot of money
in that old jukebox.

Always your record.

One guy got mad about
it. We got into a fight.

He pulled a knife on me.

I was gonna be a singer
too. You were gonna help me.

I got this because
I was loyal to you.

Your voice?

Yeah. I lost my voice
because of you...

and so I lost my station too.

People said I sounded ugly.

I lost all of it,

all of it, because of you.

Hey, I'm sorry. I...


All of a sudden, you're sorry?

No, no.

To be sorry, to
hurt... takes time.

I've had a lot of that.

Here. Here's $10,000.

It's just what you
asked for. It's all in cash.

You're not gonna
believe me, I guess,

but the money really
doesn't mean anything to me.

I really hope it helps you.


Where are you going?

Back to the hotel.

I can't let you do that.

But I gave you the money.
I gave you everything.

But you know who I
am. You'll tell the police.

No, I won't. I promise.

No, this is between
you and me. What...

Sit down!


If you'd paid in the beginning,

if you hadn't made us
kill those two people,

I maybe wouldn't
have to do this.

But you're just
like everybody else.

You don't care.

You use people,
then forget them!

I'll... kill... her.

Get back! I'll kill her.

Throw down your
guns and get outside.

Step outside.

Go on... Outside!


Is that your car?

Bring it here.


Always comes down to this.

Liars, cheats...

users, takers.

One way or another,
it always comes to that.

You listen to me.

She didn't know
that we were coming.

She wanted us out of
it, right from the start.

So there's no point hurting
her. You understand me?

You understand me?

[CAR DOOR OPENS] Get back.







Those two men...
We all killed them.

You know that, don't you?

We're all responsible.
We all killed them.

You're wrong, Jerry.

STARSKY: You're a sick man.

You're responsible,
and nobody else.


So don't try to hang it on us.

You're gonna handle
this one all by yourself.

♪ Oh, cloudy sky ♪

♪ So let your hair down ♪

♪ And go on ♪

♪ And cry ♪

♪ Oh, let your hair down ♪

♪ And go on ♪

♪ And cry ♪♪


Thank you.


Hey, you're next.
You ready, huh?


What's the matter?


You nervous?


You ought to be.

SUE ANN: Let me do
a kind of a special thing

for you tonight,

while I kind of
catch myself, okay?

We have a special guest,

a special treat for you tonight.

Let me make him welcome.

He's gonna sing a
special song for you.

He's called The
Singing Policeman.

The Blond Blintz!

[WHISPERS] Shut up!

Also known as
"The Blond Blintz"?


Would you make welcome,
please, Mr. Ken Hutchinson.

Hey, let's hear
it. Let's hear it!

Come on, come on.

Didn't you hear what I told you?


To sit still and listen.


Make him get up here.
Come on, give him a hand.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on.


Thank you, thank you, Sue Ann.

Good evening, la...

Uh, good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'd like to...

I'd like to sing for you, uh...

"Lovin' Arms."

I'd like to sing... It had
better be good, copper.


Go right ahead, kid.

You weren't the hit

at three police
barbecues for nothing.

Lay it on them.

[WHISPERS] S... Shut up!


♪ If I could see you now... ♪

♪ If you could see me now ♪

♪ The one who said
He'd rather roam ♪

♪ The one who said
He'd rather be alone ♪

♪ If you could only see me now ♪


♪ If I could hold you now ♪

♪ Just for a moment ♪

♪ If I could make you mine ♪

♪ Just for an hour Turn
back the hands of time ♪

♪ You, if I could
only Hold you now ♪

♪ But I've been Too
long in the wind ♪

♪ Too long in the rain ♪

♪ Taking any
comfort That I can ♪

♪ Looking back and longing
for The freedom of my chains ♪

♪ Lying in Your
lovin' arms again ♪

♪ If you could see me now ♪

STARSKY: ♪ See me now ♪

♪ Singing sss... ♪


♪ Singing somewhere
In the lonely night ♪

Uh, uh, uh... Is it the chorus?


♪ I've been too
long In the wind ♪

♪ Too long in the rain ♪

♪ Taking any comfort... ♪

STARSKY [SOLO]: ♪ That I can ♪



I... gotta put a
dime in the meter.