Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Episode #3.9 - full transcript

A visiting reporter on the Cerritos puts Captain Freeman on edge.

Captain's log, star date 58496.1.

While the primary mission
of the California-class

is second contact,

Star fleet has never considered
our work a top priority.

Until today.

I'm thrilled to log that my
planetary follow-up initiative

has finally been given the green
light by Admiral Buenamigo.

Congratulations,
Captain Freeman.

There's no one better suited
for Project Swing By.

And there's no one better suited
to assign it to me, Admiral.

Let's ditch the pomp and
set this conversation to facts.



"Ditch the pomp"?

The first Project Swing By
planet you'll be checking in on

is Ornara.

Ornara. Picard made
first contact there, right?

Yes. 17 years ago.

So they're long overdue
for some Star fleet attention.

If this goes well, Swing By
missions will be assigned

across the entire
California-class.

Then I'll make sure
it goes better than well.

I know you will. Which is why
I have a journalist from FNN

en route to theCerritos.

She'll be documenting
your success as it happens.

Buenamigo out.

Congratulations, Captain.
I think I speak for all of us



- when I say...
- This is terrible!

But you've been lobbying
for Project Swing By for years.

Not that. The reporter.

The ship's a mess.

We have to clean it up
before she gets here.

Clean it up.

- Good one, Captain.
- Why are you laughing?!

Oh. She's serious.

Go get your departments
in order now!

- Go!
- Yes, Captain!

What do we know
about the Ornarans?

They were ravaged by a plague,

the cure for which was
a plant called felicium,

which only grew
on their sister planet, Brekka.

The Brekkians exploited access
to the drug

and got the Ornarans
hooked on it,

even after the plague was cured.

Some sister.

What did Picard
have to say about it?

By the time
the Enterprise got there,

Ornara was in shambles
due to their addiction.

Picard severed communication
between the planets and, uh...

well, let's see...

Oh, uh, then he left.

- He left?
- Yeah, that's, uh...

- Whew, that's how it went down.
- Seriously?

So now it's our job
to check in on an entire planet

that Picard left cold turkey?

Well, Captain,
think about it like this...

If they've relapsed,
we'll provide much-needed aid.

Project Swing By
is gonna look great.

With this reporter
coming on board,

I don't want us
to look like fools.

Mariner. What the hell
are you covered in?!

Blueberry filling.

Yeah, we got the pie eating
contest later today.

Hey, we should get
that reporter to cover it.

We're gonna crush Ops this year.

What's her problem?

We did strawberry last year.

She doesn't always
get to pick the pie.

Ensign, if I were you,
I would make myself scarce

for the next couple days.

Please, reporters love me.

Plus, I'm so good at my job,

I'm like a second captain.

Yeah, I'm like a mini captain.

Like a little,
sweet baby captain.

We may want to roll out
some duty changes,

to make a good first impression.
You get me?

You better be ready to shovel
some ing pie, Marty.

Your whole division's
going down!

Loud and clear.

Gah! What the hell?

Captain gave our next rotation
to alpha shift?

I-I didn't even know
there was an alpha shift.

We have orders to keep
our work areas spotless,

but I accidentally got
my station stuck

in the transporter buffer.

What if it's messy in there?

I'm not allowed to scan anything
until after the reporter leaves,

but I scan when I get nervous.

Hey, Carol gonna Carol, right?

I mean, she's just trying to put
her best foot forward. I get it.

All we got to do is sit back
and make her look great.

Wow, that's weirdly
mature of you.

Wow, Captain.
I have to tell you,

covering a California-class ship
is really special for me.

My family's from Flagstaff.

Ah, yes.
Arizona is...

very near California.

Oh, it's just gorgeous.

Victoria, let's get you settled
in those guest quarters.

- Pretty great view, huh?
- Oh, it's stunning.

And, you know, when it comes
to the lower decks,

nobody knows it better
than beta shift.

So if you want a tour
or something,

- just let me know.
- Actually, Ensign,

I believe your shift doesn't
begin for another three cycles.

Right. That's why I have time.
I'm early.

Junior officers
can be a bit excitable.

You know, sometimes they forget
they should be going to bed.

Computer.

Lights. Have you
ever seen a warp core?

Oh, my gosh, no.
But I can't wait.

- Whoa, seriously?
- Well, that was demoralizing.

She's just...
She's under a lot of pressure.

But, hey, this-this gives us
more time to practice

for the pie eating contest.

Yeah!

The pie eating
contest is canceled?

But I've been expanding
my G.I. tract to store more pie.

And I perfected
dislocating my jaw.

Mariner,
what is your mom thinking?

This is the biggest crew night
of the year,

not including pon farrs.

Yeah, I don't really
know what...

Hey. Hey, man. No, not the pies.

Hey, stop! We'll take those.

Captain's orders.
No contest, no pies.

Sir, I've been
starving myself for days.

Please! My body needs crust!

Stand back, Ensign.
I have my orders.

Aw.

Come on, guys.

There's plenty to do around here

that doesn't end
in sugary diarrhea.

Oh. Maybe for you.

Let's go grab some synthehol

and synthe-have
a great time at the bar.

Sir.

Look at me. Look at me!

- Please, just one!
- I can't.

You know I can't.

Then stun me!

No!

Don't look at
the holo-imager. Look at me.

Okay, and just tell me what life
is like on theCerritos.

Okay. Is this good?

Last week,
I got to scan an ancient probe

from an unknown civilization,

and I just signed up
for aerial silks.

For me, the Cerritosis life
in the cave of Garanoga.

Oh, you poor thing.
They make you live in a cave?

No, no, no. It's...

The Cerritosis like home to me.

I have lived in a cave, though.

Victoria,

something about you
really makes me open up.

I feel
very comfortable talking to you.

Oh, well, I think
that's enough for today.

Turn it around, Lower Decks.

Captain wants you in your bunks.

W... Come on, man.
This is our bar.

We just-we just want to grab
a drink, all right?

This isn't the bar anymore.

It's the commander's lounge.

And it's only for interviewees.

Hey, wait,
Jet's not a commander.

He's a lower Decker like us.
How come he gets to be in there?

There's a list
of approved people.

Manhaver's on it.

- There's a list?
- Hey, it's-it's okay.

Let's get out of here.
Uh, I've got some Somnusian root

that'll knock us out
for a while.

I know Mom is stressed,

but that reporter
is here to report.

And this isn't
how the Cerritosactually is.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna tell the truth.

The very first mission
for Project Swing By.

Tell me, Captain,
are you nervous?

The Ornarans were peaceful
when last contacted,

but we should be ready
for anything.

Well, I, for one, feel safe
with this amazing crew.

Oh, wow. I didn't expect it
to be this nice.

Seems like the Ornarans
are in a good place.

But stay alert.

Sometimes the dark reality
is hidden

just beneath
the glossy exterior.

Hey! Oh, gosh, wow. Star fleet.

It is so joyous
that you've returned.

I am B'Nir,
the local magistrate.

Welcome back.

I am Captain Carol Freeman
of the USS Cerritos.

I know that
your people's first contact

with the Federation
had its difficulties,

- but we're here t...
- What?

Oh. You're worried
that things got bad

when Picard cut us off
from the felicium.

Well, uh... did they?

No. Picard was absolutely right.

It was the best thing
that ever happened to us.

Look. We even made a mural.

See, there's the Enterprise
leaving us with no drugs,

and here's all of us
freaking out.

We were in a bit of a bad place
for the first, oh,

ten, 14 years,

but we figured it out.

Once we shook
the old demons out, we focused

on healthy diet and fitness.

You could say
we're addicted to that now.

My kind of people.

How much you bench?

Oh, we don't do it
for the numbers.

We do it to quiet
the voices in our heads.

Nice. I do 250.

So, B'Nir, you have Star fleet
at your full disposal.

How may we be of assistance?

Yeah, we're good.

Well, there must be something.

We have medical supplies,

engineering know-how,

unlimited snacks.

Starfleet's done enough
for Ornara.

There's really no need
for this visit.

Now, excuse me...

But I'm late for my 10K.

Captain, do you anticipate

all Project Swing By missions
will be this...

superfluous?

I'm just gonna step off imager
to make a quick call.

Top secret Star fleet business.

While we're waiting,

I could tell you
about my own fitness journey.

Cool.

Ah. Carol.

How's the mission going?

There is no mission.

- The Ornarans don't need us.
- That can't be right.

Make them show you
their government,

just in case
it's secretly run by kids

or somebody pretending
to be the devil...

There's nothing funky here, Les.

- Picard knew what he was doing.
- Damn it.

We need something or the entire
program could be in jeopardy.

We could go back to Beta III.

There's a pretty good chance
they've fallen for Landru again.

What about the neighbors?
The pusher planet?

Maybe they're dealing with some
difficulties that we can fix.

Yes. They were left off
even worse than the Ornarans.

You know, my little saying goes,
"Glutes are cute,

but obliques are for freaks."

Well, everything seems
in order here.

So now we'll be continuing
Project Swing By

on the nearby planet Brekka.

- We are?
- Just as planned.

Cerritos, four to beam up.

Yo. Newslady.

Ensign Mariner,

I was just about to go interview
your mother.

Yeah, well, before that,
I've got some things

you're going to want to hear.

On the record?

Well, then, come on in.

Mm-hmm. Ah.

Hmm.

Come in.

Captain Freeman, is this
a good time for our interview?

Of course. Please, have a seat.

Super. Shall we dive right in?

I think you've seen
that I run a tight ship

capable of far more
than just second contact.

Actually,
after my crew interviews,

"tight" isn't the word I would
use to describe the Cerritos.

Oh. What would you call us?

Chaotic. "Irresponsible."

"Silly" is a word that has
been tossed around quite a bit.

What? N-No. No, I don't know
what you've been hearing,

but I can assure you,
nothing about our work is silly.

Is it true that your first
officer turned into a giant head

that tried to eat the ship
like a hamburger?

He... That was a one-time thing.

It was a strange
energies situation...

Something that many other crews
have had to deal with as well.

I also hear you left your post
to take some engineers

on a spa trip, where you had

an emotional breakdown.

Who told you that?

Did you or did you not
transport a Doopler

into a Star fleet party

as revenge
for not being allowed inside?

If you had been there,
you would have...

And tell me, Captain, was
that the same vindictive streak

that led you to purposely give
a Pandronian drill instructor

- a poly-heart attack?
- Uh-uh-uh, she was...

Your head of security
was turned into a puppet,

you let spear-wielding aliens

take over the ship,
you got Quark kidnapped,

then there was the whole thing
with the exocomp,

and I'm seeing
a lot of stuff about Q.

Okay. Look alive, people.

Everybody's favorite ensign
on deck.

Uh, Captain wanted to see me?

Yeesh. Tough crowd.

I guess the camera
really does add ten frowns.

You know?

Okay, I don't usually worry
about morale,

but the energy out there
is dark.

I think everybody's on edge
about the reporter.

Mariner... I saw you
go into Victoria's quarters.

What the hell
did you say to her?!

I know.
I wasn't on the list, okay?

But I had to tell her
some stories,

you know, about what
it's really like to work here.

So you went out of your way
to make me look like a fool.

I just told her the truth.

You went too far
this time, Mariner.

You told her all sorts
of terrible, out-of-context...

I gave context.

When are you gonna
grow up, Beckett?

You have absolutely no concept
of when to shut your mouth.

Don't talk to me like I'm 15.

I'm a Star fleet officer

and an essential part
of your crew.

Not anymore.

What is-what is that
supposed to mean?

Uh, Captain, what are you doing?

Oh, you want
to back stab, complain

and be hard to work with?

Well, there's a place
for people like that.

It's called Star base 80.

Star base 80?

What about it?

I've already put through
the transfer.

Shuttle's on the way.

Mom, is-is this a joke?
Where's the hover-cam?

Does it look like I'm joking?

I want you off of my ship
before we get to Brekka

so you don't cause
any more damage.

Oh, my God, you're not kidding.

Mom, please.

You are no longer
my ensign or my problem.

I don't even know if I can
call you my daughter anymore.

Dismissed.

Made us sound like losers.

Yeah. Star base 80.

- Hey, Mariner...
- Levy, I can't right now.

I know that this is all part
of some temporal

cold war shenanigans,

but what you did
is really messed up.

Oh, Jennifer.

My mom is acting like

I stabbed her in the back,
and I need...

We're all trying to put
our best foot forward.

Ugh, what you did
hurt the entire crew.

Well, I didn't-I didn't
do anything.

T-Tell me what I did.

I'm gonna keep my opinions
to myself.

You should try it.

Here, you can
have your candle back,

since it clearly
didn't mean anything.

I feel like I'm going crazy.

I'm-I'm losing my mind.

Is this a-is this
a Frame of Mind thing?

Am I gonna wake up
with a neural drain on my head?

The only neural drain
around here is you.

Jennifer, I need you
to believe me.

I didn't do anything wrong.

How am I supposed to trust you?

You tell everyone all the time
this is who you are.

Yeah, but you know me better
than that.

I really don't.

Attention, all crew.

For operational security,

please refrain
from communicating

with formerCerritos officer
Mariner.

Give the stupid candle
to Castro.

I don't care.

- Mariner, we just heard.
- You're being transferred?

Apparently I torpedoed
the whole California-class.

You've done a lot worse
than this. It's gonna blow over.

I didn't do anything.

Oh, yeah, no, sure.

But maybe just apologize

- for what she thinks you did?
- Ugh, whatever.

It's not my first time
getting kicked off a ship.

You know, the goodbyes are
the worst part, so let's just...

Let's not say anything.

Mariner, you-you can't leave
the Cerritos.

Yeah, I can.

This always happens.

You lost it, man.

No, I didn't lose it.
It's around here somewhere.

Oh, hey.
You Ensign Bucket Mariner?

Beckett. Yeah.

Oh, Beckett. Right.

Must've got some elbow grease
on this thing.

That's not what elbow grease is.

Ooh, this is a nice ship.

Doesn't smell
like garbage or sweat.

Man, I'd do anything
to work here.

So, Captain coming
to see you off or what?

Guess not.

All right, I'm transferred.
Let's go.

Here's your uniform.
It's, uh, one-size-fits-some.

Oh, my sammich!

Ah. See?

Told you I didn't eat it.

- Mmm.
- Oh.

Orders, Captain?

Resume course.

Captain,
we are in orbit of Brekka.

Dr. Migleemo, you have the conn.

Ba-ha-ha.
A feast of opportunities

to make you proud, Captain.

Keep it together, Doctor.
You'll do fine.

It's really happening.

- Orders, sir?
- Yes.

Initiate a subspace
communication link to my meema.

I want her to see her
special boy being the captain!

Yes, sir.

Well, I hope you know
my daughter's stories

are heavily biased.

Oh, is that so?

Your focus should be
with Project Swing By

and the benefit it can have

to the forgotten planets
in the quadrant.

Well, that remains to be seen.

Perhaps you'll be able
to help more here on Brekka,

because, frankly,
Ornara was a dud.

I'm sure we're
about to be extremely useful.

Uh, useful to whom, exactly?

Well, good thing
Star fleet is here

to notice that
everyone is missing.

Project Swing By
seems like a success.

Phasers out.
Something's not right.

Oh.

Hello. Captain, I found someone.

Please, you have to go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm with Star fleet. I can help.
Where is everyone?

Aah!

No!

Breen?

Aah! Captain, there are
Breen soldiers in the city.

Aah!
We need to evacuate. Ow!

Stay down!

In a stunning development,

Breen soldiers
have occupied Brekka!

Not since the Dominion War
have I...

Aah!

Emergency transport now.

Red alert.
All hands to battle sta...

Meema?

Uh, M-Mother, you should not
be calling me at work.

- Goodbye.
- Mr. Boimler,

I need some distance
between us and this system.

Breen interceptors closing fast.

They're firing!

Oh!

Shields are failing!

Fire torpedoes!

Full spread!

They covered
the spread, Captain.

Aah!
Shields are down.

Brace for impact!

Damage to all decks.

Seal affected areas.

Captain, we're being hailed.

Why aren't they
finishing us off?

They're going to board us.

All hands,
prepare countermeasures.

The Breen don't take prisoners.

Do not try to negotiate.

Defend yourselves at all costs.

- Captain, incoming ship.
- More Breen?

No, it's, uh...

I think it's Star fleet.

What the hell
kind of ship is that?

They're gonna ram us!

Hail that vessel.

I want to know who to thank

for saving our lives.

Captain, there are no life signs
aboard that ship.

What?

Uh, incoming communication
from Admiral Buenamigo.

Main screen.

Carol,
thank goodness you're okay.

We tried to get here
as soon as possible.

Les, wh...
Are you on that ship?

No one is.
Meet the new Texas-class.

This is theAledo,

the first of three fully
automated Federation star ships.

And it looks like
she just passed her sea trials.

Admiral, wow,
this ship is amazing.

As of today,
consider it declassified.

I'm happy to tell you
anything and everything

about the Texas-class.

See, our goal
for this new class of ship

- was to remove the...
- What the just happened?

I don't know, Captain.
But Project Swing By

just revealed a Breen incursion,

so I think everyone's
gonna be very impressed.

In my time on the Cerritos,

I experienced a culture
of conflict between the crew.

I mean, Ops is clearly the best.

We never had to take
a spa vacation like Engineering.

The captain totally lost it,
by the way.

Those engineers
are so hard to deal with.

I got turned into a puppet
on my very first mission.

Uh, the crew never
held it against me, though.

Oh, you should have
heard Quark scream

when he was being carried away.

"Aah!"

I-I'm sorry.
What was the question again?

Although there were some
who had nothing but praise.

Well, there's the family
you're born into, right,

and then the family you choose.

I've got both here
on the Cerritos.

If you're measuring by heart,

this is the strongest ship
in the fleet.

Because we've got
the best captain at the helm,

- my mom.
- But this sole voice

of California-class
exceptionalism

was transferred off the ship

just for talking to me.

Is Freeman
really the best captain

or simply a cruel taskmaster?

I'm Victoria Nuzé for FNN.

Mariner didn't say anything bad
about the ship.

It was everybody else.

They didn't even realize

what they were doing.

I knew something was off.

We should have made her stay.

I can't imagine
how the captain's feeling.

Ugh, come on, come on.

Hey-o. Star base 80.
What do you need?

This is Captain Carol Freeman.

I've made a terrible mistake.

I need to speak
with Ensign Beckett Mariner.

- Who? Hold on.
- Oh, no, you don't!

Would you just use

the freakin' broom already?

Uh, sorry. We got a Pyrithian
bat flying around in here.

What the?

I said hit it with the broom.

I did that. It didn't care.

Ensign Beckett Mariner.

Can you please just connect me?

All right, calm down, lady.

You ain't my captain.

Let's see, let's see.

Marner, Marner.

Oh, yeah. Nope.
Can't connect you.

You don't even have
working communications?

Rude. Of course we do. Usually.

But this one here resigned.

Resigned? What?

No. Are you sure?

Yep. Handed in her com badge
and phaser and...

- Hit it. Hit it.
- Look out.

Hit the bat.

What have I done?

Oh, Beckett. Where are you?

Hey, so I just got a hot tip
on some Vedalan mummies.

Should be pretty ancient.

Want to check 'em out,
Number One?

Eh, they're not gonna dig up
themselves, right?

Because that would be,
like, very unsettling.

No. I mean,
once or twice, they have.

But, nah, odds are they won't.

Then hell yeah.
Let's mummy it up.

Chirp.