SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 4, Episode 15 - Bummer Vacation/Wigstruck - full transcript

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain.

I can't hear you!

Aye, aye, Captain!

Squidward! SpongeBob!

Just put me out of me misery!

Why, Mr. Krabs?

What could be wrong on such a fine day?

Fine?

Today's not the day for that word, boy.

Not after I received this letter



from the fry cooks' union.

It says here: "Fry cook, SpongeBob SquarePants

has accumulated too much vacation time."

And if you don't take some time off,

I'll have to pay a fine!

Time off?

Oh, I guess there's just no other way to say this.

SpongeBob, take a vacation.

Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.

Well, that went better than I expected.

Hey, Gary.

That's right, Gary, I amhome early.

I'm on vacation!

Well, good night, Gary.



Ah, vacation.

Good morning, Krusty crew.

And hello, Squidward.

I thought you were on vacation.

He was, and is!

I told you to take a vacation, boy!

What's a vacation?

Well, a vacation is when you don't come in to work.

No work!

What will I do all day?

Oh, I don't know-- just go, have fun

or whatever, I really don't care.

You just can't be here.

But who will fry the patties and clean the grill while I'm gone?

Squidward can't do it all alone!

Nor will I.

That's why I've hired

an unpaid intern as your temporary replacement.

PATRICK Good morning, boss.

I'm ready for my first day.

Speaking of starfish,

here's your replacement right here.

Replacement?Hi, SpongeBob.

That's enough banter on my dime!

Okay, boss.

Wait a second, Patrick.

You'll need the right tools for the job.

Wow.

Huh! They put a tiny me

in this belly-scratcher!

Wow! It scratches backs, too!

I'll take it from here, SpongeBob,

Just go on home.

Enjoy your vacation.

I really should show Patrick

the proper patty- flipping technique.

I'm on vacation, Gary.

I'm not allowed to go to work.

My stomach has receded.

Mr. Krab said I couldn't work at the Krusty Krab.

He didn't say I couldn't eat there.

This is my ticket back inside.

Go away, SpongeBob.

You're ruining my vacation-- from you.

I'm not here to see you, Squidward.

SpongeBob, do we have to go through this again?

I'm here as a customer, not an employee.

Just going to grab a Krabby Patty with Patrick for lunch.

All right, but lunch only.

If you so much as touch a spatula,

you'll be vacationing in Davy Jones's locker!

You have my word, sir.

No working.

Hey, Pat, it's time for your lunch...

Patrick!

You can't do that!

You need to turn up the grill

to exactly 298 degrees Fahrenheit .

Patrick, this is no way to treat

a Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob!

What did I tell you

about working?

Wait! It's not what you think.

Out you go, boy.

But my knowledge could help Patrick

maintain the high standard of the Krusty Krab!

We've got it all under control here.

I don't want to see hide nor tail of you

until your vacation is over, you got that?

Yes, Mr. Krabs.

Well, boy, off you go!

Don't come back until it's over!

Oh, what to do? What to do?

I know just the thing to get the spirits up.

The official Krusty Krab play set.

SpongeBob, I need

20 Krabby Patties on the double, please.

Sure thing, Mr. Squidward, sir.

20 Krabby Patties coming up.

SpongeBob! What are you doing here?!

You're going to cost me some loot

if you don't get your square keister home!

Out, out, out!

Until your vacation is over!

Oh, what to do on this boring vacation?

Hey! I know just the thing to get the old spirits up.

I need 20 Krabby Patties, please.

Sure thing, old buddy, old squid,

20 Krabby Patties coming...

You're right, Gary.

It is unhealthy to think about the Krusty Krab

while I'm on vacation.

I need to get out of the house.

Uh, Mr. Krabs, he's out there again.

I'll deal with this.

Boy, you're on Krusty Krab property!

Back it up!

Further.

Further...

Further!

Further... Further. Further.

Further.

Further!

Further.

That'll do.

Mr. Krabs is right.

In order to enjoy my vacation, I need to stay away from work,

physically andmentally.

Hey, that reminds me of...

Yeah.

Hold it right there, Mr. WorkaholicPants.

You're on vacation.

You need to just sit down and relax.

That's more like it.

Just sit back and watch the clouds.

That one's a jellyfish.

That's a pirate ship.

And that's a low-salt ketchup.

Whoa, low-salt ketchup?!

Got your steaming hot bun delivery here.

Eh? What is the big idea here?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

Yeah?

Hello.

Hello!

Hmm. I didn't even know I had an ear.

Hey! I just cleaned that one.

Patrick, shh!

It talks! Ahh!

Oh... Somebody help!

I'm stuck!

Mr. Krabs.

Oh, thank Neptune, it's you.

I'm in a bit of a fix here.

Uh, Mr. Krabs.

No!

Now what?

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

Had enough for one day, son.

Thanks for the ride home, Mr. Krabs.

Not a problem at all, me boy.

Just take the next right.

Mr. Krabs, we just passed the turnoff.

My house is back that way, Mr. K.

Far out, little man.

Far out.

Where did you say you were taking me?

Look, boy-- I brought your spatula!

Come on, boy, come on.

Now get it, boy.

Get it. Get the spatula.

Go get it!

Enjoy your vacation, boy!

It's not fair.

Why would Mr. Krabs try so hard to get rid of me?

I'm only on vacation.

Unless...

it's a...

permanent vacation.

That's it!

Mr. Krabs wants to replace me.

Oh, I should have known.

Patrick's had his eye on myjob all along!

He's been scheming.

They think I'm outdated.

They think I'm all washed up.

Well, I'll show them.

That's a hard song to remember.

Who do they think they are?

I've given the best years of my life to this place,

and they think they can just fire me like that, like trash?

I don't think so.SpongeBob?

Is that you?

I've been waiting for you, Patrick.

SpongeBob, you're scaring me!

What'll it be?

One Krabby Patty, please.

One shell on a shingle.

Well, I'll be.

Patrick, you're cooking's improved one-thousandfold.

Congratulations, boy.

You finally got the hang of it.

SpongeBob?

No wonder!

Patrick could never flip that many patties in an hour.

What happened to that feller anyway?

Oh, I told him to stay home and watch television.

Why'd you do it, laddy?

Oh, Mr. Krabs.

I love the putrid grease of the Krusty Krab so much!

I just couldn't stay away.

You don't have to.

Your accumulated vacation time is used up.

The union can't fine me anymore.

You must have saved a fortune.

Bumping Barnacle, yes.

And there she is.

Wow, that's more than I make in a year.

Don't be asking me for a raise.

Just get back to work!

Yippee!

I happily acquiesce.

Man, this is going to be our most rocking tour ever!

Yeah!

Hey, dudes, check out the debut of my new look.

Whoa! What's that on your head?

Yeah, is that a wig or a pile of toilet paper?

Come on, guys, give it a chance.

Let me try it on.

Hey! You've revealed my shiny dome.

Hot potato! Catch!

Give it back, man.

If you want it, you got to catch it, dude.

Oops!

Oh, man! My beautiful wig!

I'm ready!

I'm read...

What is this?

Curly tresses? Poofy texture? Itchy scalp?

It's a wig!

Hi, Patrick.

How do you like my new look?

I'll save you!

I'm saving you from that brain-eating alien

that's attacking your head!

Patrick, the only thing attacking me is you!

Oh. Sorry.

It's okay.

Why did you do that?

I thought it was a new type

of cotton candy you wear on your head.

Well, it's not, but that is an excellent idea.

Then what is it?!

It's my new look.

I'm wearing a wig.

A wig?

Oh... Oh, I can't... Oh...

Oh, I can't stand... Oh...

Oh... Oh, boy.

Don't you think that's a little silly?

Oh, man! It's time for my weekly condiment soak.

Do you mind?

Nice wig.

Thanks. I am very fashionable today.

Hey, Square Fashion.

Nice couture.

Why, thank you.

So, that, huh?

Nice 'do, SpongeBob.

Yeah. Where can I get one?

Wow!

That wig really suits you.

Hi, Squidward!

What? What? What What? What? How?

Notice anything different about me today, Squidward?

Nope.

I'm wearing a wig.

Oh, yeah. How could I have missed it?

Can you believe I found it lying around in the street?

Amazing.

If you want to, after work, we could go look for a wig for you!

I can't wait.

Wig away!

Whoo-hoo!

Order up, Squidward!

Mr. Krabs!

I've served a lot of junk here,

but a hair patty?

SpongeBob!

Yes, Mr. Krabs?

What in Davy Jones' locker is on your head, son?

Oh, that's my new wig, Mr. Krabs.

Well, take it off!

The hair's getting into the patties!

Take it off?

But I can't, Mr. Krabs.

My wig makes everyone so happy.

Happy?Ever since I began wearing it,

everyone I see gets a big grin on their face.

I can imagine.

Oh, please let me keep it, Mr. Krabs.

Well, if it means that much to you, you can keep it.

But you've got to wear a hairnet.

And, if I see one more hairy patty, your wig goes

in the Dumpster.

There you are, SpongeBob.

Are you ready for karate practice?

I see you've noticed my new wig.

Pretty impressive, huh?

It's great, SpongeBob.

Glad you like it.

I'll see you later, Sandy.

Two Krabby Patties and a side order of lookin' good.

Nice wig.

Like to keep in style, huh?

You know it.

Off to meet the queen, Sir Nerd Leroy?

The name is SpongeBob,

and no, I am not meeting royalty.

You must be referring to my regal appearance.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Thank you all for your kind words.

I wish I could give you such nice wigs.

How about a little off the top?

Yeah, your wig's big enough to go around.

This isn't good.

Everyone's getting jealous.

Squidward, I'll be hiding

in the kitchen if you need me.

Hide your shame, SpongeBob.

Hide your shame.

Well, well, well.

Ned and the Needlefish.

- You're fired. - Fired?!

But why?

Ask Baldy McBaldyson over here.

Ned!

Good going, dude.

I can't help not having hair!

We formed this band it was for one reason

and one reason only.

To make a lot of money.

And you not having hair

is getting in the way of that!

We are selling records, not denture cream.

Either you come back with hair,

or don't come back at all!

Time to go home, boys!

Almost finished!

See, Squidward?

It's functional, too.

It's about as functional as your brain.

Ha-ha, ha-ha; thank you, Squidward.

That wasn't a compliment!

The entire town is laughing at you!

I don't understand.

Just look at yourself!

Hello, handsome.

SpongeBob, your head is

twice as large as before.

I've never been tall before.

That wig is infested with parasites!

That tickles!

Can't you see how ridiculous you look?

Ithink that it looks cool.

You wouldn't know cool

if I locked you in the freezer.

For your information, Mr. Krabs,

Squidward haslocked me in the freezer,

so I think I know what cool is.

You stop wearing that nasty thing to work.

But, Mr. Krabs...

No "buts."

So I can't have a wig or a butt?

No, SpongeBob.

It means, until you get rid of that wig,

get your butt out of here!

I never got a chance to talk to SpongeBob yesterday.

I was laughing too hard.

SpongeBob?

Hi, Sandy. What do you think?

We need to talk.

Why would I want to get rid of my wig?

Look how happy it makes everybody.

Well, it does attract a lot of attention.

I know! People just can't keep their eyes off of me.

Neither can I, SpongeBob.

It's true, Tom, this isn't my real hair.

I stole it.

Pardon me. Excuse me.

Pardon me. Pardon me.

Whoa!

Hey, the wig broke my fall.

Mm, popcorn.

Ah, you always come through for me.

Hey, buddy, do you mind?

Shh!

It's very rude to talk

during a movie.

Um, SpongeBob?

You too, Sandy.

People are trying to watch the movie.

Well, they can't.

Look, your stupid wig

is blocking the whole screen.

Take it off, jerk!

Hey! Down in front!Take the wig off!

People, return your attention to the movie!

I know my wig is glamorous and exciting,

but there is no need to start a riot.

That's a great idea.

Let's start a riot!

Get him! Get him!

I told you that movie was terrible.

Now do you see what I'm saying, SpongeBob?

I guess you're right, Sandy.

I got so much enjoyment out of the wig myself,

I assumed everyone else did, too.

It's time to be strong.

I know.

I just want you to know that...

even though I didn't know

you existed a few days ago,

I can't imagine life without you.

Hurry up, SpongeBob.

No matter what they say,

you'll always be cool to me.

I'll never accessorize again.

You did the right thing, SpongeBob.

Where am I going to get some hair?

My career is ruined.

Ruined!

Can it be?

It is! My wig!

Yes! Victory is mine!

Wigs!

Wigs, wigs, they're everywhere.

Oh, he's got your hair.

Thank you.

SpongeBob!

Patrick!

At least he's not wearing a wig.

Look at my new wig.

Everyone's wearing wigs!

Everyone!

I'm starting to feel a little betrayed.

Hey, you made fun of me yesterday.

I thought powdered wigs were uncool.

Yeah, they were.

But look.

Wow, Ned and the Needlefish

wearing my wig.

So I was cool before anyone else?

Yes, you were.

But not anymore.

See ya!

I wish Ihad a wig.

Don't be sad, SpongeBob.

You can borrow one of mine.

Just wash it before you return it.