SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - Grandma's Kisses/Squidville - full transcript
Grandma's Kisses: When SpongeBob's grammaw gives him a kiss in public, the guys at work tease him about being a little baby. Embarrassed and humiliated, SpongeBob and Patrick resolve to become more adult and to tell Grammaw that she can't kiss him anymore. But when they get there, Patrick caves completely and laps up all of Grammaw's affection. SpongeBob is jealous and tries desperately to get Grammaw to kiss him again, but she refuses, claiming SpongeBob is too adult now for kisses. SpongeBob ends up regressing completely and finally cops to the fact that he loves her kisses and will never be embarrassed about them again. Squidville: Squidward is so sick and tired of living between SpongeBob and Patrick that he decides to leave Bikini Bottom and go someplace where everyone is just like him. Squidward arrives and he loves it at first, but he soon discovers how boring everyone is and how uninteresting his life is without the constant mayhem that SpongeBob and Patrick provide. Crazed by the monotony, Squidward starts to act out, becoming the "SpongeBob" of this new community.
NARRATOR:
Every day is a holiday
for SpongeBob
even if he has to make one up.
Hey, everybody!
It's Leif Ericsson Day!
Hinga-ginga-durgin!
Ahoy, Patrick!
It's Leif Ericsson Day!
There's a note.
PATRICK:
"SpongeBob, went to get
more giant paper...
"Uhhhh, Patrick.
P.S....
Happy Leif Ericsson Day!"
PATRICK:
Yaga-hinga-dinga!
Oh, so much for that.
Maybe Sandy will play with me.
Another note!
SANDY:
"SpongeBob, went south
for the winter... Love, Sandy."
l don't get it...
The water's fine.
Hey, Squidward, want to play?
SQUIDWARD:
"No."
Are you sure?
"Yes."
Darn, I wish I had a buddy
to play with.
I know... I'll make one!
Stick Buddy!
Nah...
Rock Buddy!
Nope.
Sink Buddy!
( drips )
Almost.
I've got it...
Bubble Buddy!
This... is... great!
I can't wait for you to meet
Squidward and Mr. Krabs.
Don't be shy... come on!
Please, come again...
when I'm not working.
Next!
Hi, Squidward.
How am I supposed to
enjoy your day off
if you come to work anyway?
I want you to meet
my new friend, Bubble Buddy.
This bubble is your friend?
Ah-ha-ha...
Well, he's handsome...
l'll give him that.
Ha-ha-ha.
What will it be?
Oh, I'm not hungry.
Well, thanks for stopping by.
Wait! You haven't taken
Bubble Buddy's order yet.
Why would I do that?
He's hungry.
He's an inanimate object.
His money's no good here.
What are you saying,
Mr. Squidward?
Everyone's money is good here.
At the Krusty Krab,
we serves all kinds.
I'm not taking an
order for a bubble.
Sure you are...
or I'll fill your life
with misery and woe...
Even if you quit.
Make I take your order?
Wait, Bubble Buddy.
Let me decide for you.
Hmm...
"Krabby Patty, Double Patty
Patty, Krabby Junior Junior
"Jumbo Small Patty,
Junior Senior Sophomore Patty
Quarter Ouncer
Double Pounder..."
Oh, it's all so good.
He'll just have
one of everything.
One of everything?! Whoopee!
( electric buzzing )
I love Bubble Buddy!
Squidward, show
our best customer
to his table.
Bubble Buddy's thirsty.
How about a glass
of our finest shampoo?
( laughing )
Sounds great.
Oh.
Here's your hair-care product,
sir.
Uh, Bubble Buddy
likes bendy straws.
Huh, what's that?
Bubble Buddy says
it tastes funny.
What do you think?
Mr. Krabs...
Think of the customer.
Oh, silly me... I got
the diet shampoo.
Here we go... one of everything
for Bubble Buddy.
( gasps )
Oh, no, Squidward, wait!
There's cheese on these patties.
And?
Bubble Buddy's
lactose intolerant...
he can't eat cheese.
What should we do?
We?
How about you take
these patties and sho...
KRABS:
Mr. Squidward...
Don't worry, Bubble Buddy...
Squidward will make
a fresh batch.
What, is he allergic
to bread, too?
Actually,
he doesn't like the crust.
SPONGEBOB:
And, Squidward,
the ketchup
should be under the patty.
And, Squidward, the pickles
should be on the left side.
And, Squidward,
you should...
And, Squidward...
And, Squidward...
And, Squidward...
And, Squidward...
Here!
One of everything!
No cheese, no crust,
pickles to left,
four squirts of ketchup,
wheat buns,
non-dairy lettuce
and farm-raised tomatoes...
carnival-style!
And if there's
anything else
I can do,
please hesitate to ask.
That was delicious.
Money's on the table,
Mr. Krabs!
So long, boys.
You see, Squidward,
the restaurant game
is all about service.
The customer is always right.
Remember that, lad,
and you'll be as successful
as me one day.
Oh, you're right,
Mr. Krabs.
I learned my lesson.
And by the way, Bubble
Buddy picked up the tab.
What's this?
Bubble money.
At least they left a tip.
( popping )
( both growling )
SPONGEBOB:
Here we are, Bubble Buddy...
Goo Lagoon.
There are lots of ways
to have fun here.
Dudes, bury me!
See what I mean?
All done.
All right!
Bubble Buddy, you dig him out
while I get some cotton candy.
Don't just stand there, dude...
the tide's coming in.
Dude?
My friend's in there.
Congratulations.
Whoo... shake it!
Whoo-hoo!
Shake it, yeah!
Shake that bubble butt, yeah!
( record scratches )
( silence )
( dancers grumbling
self-consciously )
DANCER:
Is my butt big?
( watch ticking )
Oh... it's the world-famous
surfer, Grubby Grouper!
Later, groupies!
Grubby's got to go catch
some gnarly pounders.
( howling )
Oh, I'll never wash
this flipper again.
SPONGEBOB:
Hey, Pearl...
shake hands with Bubble Buddy.
( sobbing loudly )
( crowd grumbling impatiently )
lt's his first
time on his own.
Once again, congratulations.
Popcorn, peanuts!
Ice-cold drinks!
( SpongeBob whistling casually )
Two hours is long enough!
That's it!
Hey, Bubble Buddy,
you're finished.
He kept us waiting for a bubble?
LOBSTER:
That's nothing...
He called us fat!
He washed my flipper.
He owes me money!
He made me provide
excellent service!
Dudes, he made me
experience high tide.
Ohhh...
He poisoned our water supply,
burned our crops
and delivered a plague
unto our houses.
ALL:
He did?!
No, but are we just going
to wait around until he does?
I say we tip something over!
ALL:
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
( group grumbling )
Hey!
Now what?
ALL:
Get the lifeguard!
( group grumbling )
Wait! Don't waste this
senseless violence on him.
It's that stupid bubble
of SpongeBob's
that's causing all the problems.
Who's with me?
ALL:
Pop the bubble!
( group cheering )
Hey, everyone!
Have you met my friend,
Bubble Buddy?
ALL:
Yes...
SPONGEBOB:
Hey, is this one of
those sewing circles?
GROUP:
No...
Would you mind not getting
so close with those pins?
Pointy objects make Bubble Buddy
uncomfortable.
SpongeBob,
that bubble's got to go.
Oh, no, he already
took care of that.
But thanks for your concern.
No... "go" as in...
( blowing )
( popping )
Ah! Why?!
You and that bubble
have been nothing but trouble!
It's time to end it.
No, I won't let you!
( blowing )
Here we go!
SPONGEBOB:
You'll never catch us now!
Never... A-ha!
Never!
Ne-ver.
Enough sea-horsing around,
SpongeBob.
Give us that bubble!
GROUP:
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
No, you can't!
He's not just a bubble...
he's a Bubble Buddy.
He's my friend and I love him.
Haven't you ever had
a very special friend?
( crying and sniffling )
Nickel Buddy,
I'll never spend you.
Funny Muffler...
And Jerky Pal...
Boo-boo Keys...
Snake Eyes...
BOTH:
We love you!
So, what do you say?
GROUP:
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Let's get this over with
so I can go home
and play my clarinet.
Nooo...
( voice distorting,
getting lower and lower )
( distorted moaning )
Whoa!
( gasping )
Hey, don't I get a say in this?
I'll see you later, SpongeBob.
Things are getting a
little weird around here.
So long.
BUBBLE BUDDY:
Happy Leif Ericsson Day!
He's alive.
Of course.
Otherwise he couldn't tell
such funny jokes.
( laughing )
( group mumbling )
Okay by me... I'm gone.
Seems like only this morning
I held his bottle.
( sniffles )
They blow up so fast.
( crying and snuffling )
Ah... hi.
Every day is a holiday
for SpongeBob
even if he has to make one up.
Hey, everybody!
It's Leif Ericsson Day!
Hinga-ginga-durgin!
Ahoy, Patrick!
It's Leif Ericsson Day!
There's a note.
PATRICK:
"SpongeBob, went to get
more giant paper...
"Uhhhh, Patrick.
P.S....
Happy Leif Ericsson Day!"
PATRICK:
Yaga-hinga-dinga!
Oh, so much for that.
Maybe Sandy will play with me.
Another note!
SANDY:
"SpongeBob, went south
for the winter... Love, Sandy."
l don't get it...
The water's fine.
Hey, Squidward, want to play?
SQUIDWARD:
"No."
Are you sure?
"Yes."
Darn, I wish I had a buddy
to play with.
I know... I'll make one!
Stick Buddy!
Nah...
Rock Buddy!
Nope.
Sink Buddy!
( drips )
Almost.
I've got it...
Bubble Buddy!
This... is... great!
I can't wait for you to meet
Squidward and Mr. Krabs.
Don't be shy... come on!
Please, come again...
when I'm not working.
Next!
Hi, Squidward.
How am I supposed to
enjoy your day off
if you come to work anyway?
I want you to meet
my new friend, Bubble Buddy.
This bubble is your friend?
Ah-ha-ha...
Well, he's handsome...
l'll give him that.
Ha-ha-ha.
What will it be?
Oh, I'm not hungry.
Well, thanks for stopping by.
Wait! You haven't taken
Bubble Buddy's order yet.
Why would I do that?
He's hungry.
He's an inanimate object.
His money's no good here.
What are you saying,
Mr. Squidward?
Everyone's money is good here.
At the Krusty Krab,
we serves all kinds.
I'm not taking an
order for a bubble.
Sure you are...
or I'll fill your life
with misery and woe...
Even if you quit.
Make I take your order?
Wait, Bubble Buddy.
Let me decide for you.
Hmm...
"Krabby Patty, Double Patty
Patty, Krabby Junior Junior
"Jumbo Small Patty,
Junior Senior Sophomore Patty
Quarter Ouncer
Double Pounder..."
Oh, it's all so good.
He'll just have
one of everything.
One of everything?! Whoopee!
( electric buzzing )
I love Bubble Buddy!
Squidward, show
our best customer
to his table.
Bubble Buddy's thirsty.
How about a glass
of our finest shampoo?
( laughing )
Sounds great.
Oh.
Here's your hair-care product,
sir.
Uh, Bubble Buddy
likes bendy straws.
Huh, what's that?
Bubble Buddy says
it tastes funny.
What do you think?
Mr. Krabs...
Think of the customer.
Oh, silly me... I got
the diet shampoo.
Here we go... one of everything
for Bubble Buddy.
( gasps )
Oh, no, Squidward, wait!
There's cheese on these patties.
And?
Bubble Buddy's
lactose intolerant...
he can't eat cheese.
What should we do?
We?
How about you take
these patties and sho...
KRABS:
Mr. Squidward...
Don't worry, Bubble Buddy...
Squidward will make
a fresh batch.
What, is he allergic
to bread, too?
Actually,
he doesn't like the crust.
SPONGEBOB:
And, Squidward,
the ketchup
should be under the patty.
And, Squidward, the pickles
should be on the left side.
And, Squidward,
you should...
And, Squidward...
And, Squidward...
And, Squidward...
And, Squidward...
Here!
One of everything!
No cheese, no crust,
pickles to left,
four squirts of ketchup,
wheat buns,
non-dairy lettuce
and farm-raised tomatoes...
carnival-style!
And if there's
anything else
I can do,
please hesitate to ask.
That was delicious.
Money's on the table,
Mr. Krabs!
So long, boys.
You see, Squidward,
the restaurant game
is all about service.
The customer is always right.
Remember that, lad,
and you'll be as successful
as me one day.
Oh, you're right,
Mr. Krabs.
I learned my lesson.
And by the way, Bubble
Buddy picked up the tab.
What's this?
Bubble money.
At least they left a tip.
( popping )
( both growling )
SPONGEBOB:
Here we are, Bubble Buddy...
Goo Lagoon.
There are lots of ways
to have fun here.
Dudes, bury me!
See what I mean?
All done.
All right!
Bubble Buddy, you dig him out
while I get some cotton candy.
Don't just stand there, dude...
the tide's coming in.
Dude?
My friend's in there.
Congratulations.
Whoo... shake it!
Whoo-hoo!
Shake it, yeah!
Shake that bubble butt, yeah!
( record scratches )
( silence )
( dancers grumbling
self-consciously )
DANCER:
Is my butt big?
( watch ticking )
Oh... it's the world-famous
surfer, Grubby Grouper!
Later, groupies!
Grubby's got to go catch
some gnarly pounders.
( howling )
Oh, I'll never wash
this flipper again.
SPONGEBOB:
Hey, Pearl...
shake hands with Bubble Buddy.
( sobbing loudly )
( crowd grumbling impatiently )
lt's his first
time on his own.
Once again, congratulations.
Popcorn, peanuts!
Ice-cold drinks!
( SpongeBob whistling casually )
Two hours is long enough!
That's it!
Hey, Bubble Buddy,
you're finished.
He kept us waiting for a bubble?
LOBSTER:
That's nothing...
He called us fat!
He washed my flipper.
He owes me money!
He made me provide
excellent service!
Dudes, he made me
experience high tide.
Ohhh...
He poisoned our water supply,
burned our crops
and delivered a plague
unto our houses.
ALL:
He did?!
No, but are we just going
to wait around until he does?
I say we tip something over!
ALL:
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
( group grumbling )
Hey!
Now what?
ALL:
Get the lifeguard!
( group grumbling )
Wait! Don't waste this
senseless violence on him.
It's that stupid bubble
of SpongeBob's
that's causing all the problems.
Who's with me?
ALL:
Pop the bubble!
( group cheering )
Hey, everyone!
Have you met my friend,
Bubble Buddy?
ALL:
Yes...
SPONGEBOB:
Hey, is this one of
those sewing circles?
GROUP:
No...
Would you mind not getting
so close with those pins?
Pointy objects make Bubble Buddy
uncomfortable.
SpongeBob,
that bubble's got to go.
Oh, no, he already
took care of that.
But thanks for your concern.
No... "go" as in...
( blowing )
( popping )
Ah! Why?!
You and that bubble
have been nothing but trouble!
It's time to end it.
No, I won't let you!
( blowing )
Here we go!
SPONGEBOB:
You'll never catch us now!
Never... A-ha!
Never!
Ne-ver.
Enough sea-horsing around,
SpongeBob.
Give us that bubble!
GROUP:
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
No, you can't!
He's not just a bubble...
he's a Bubble Buddy.
He's my friend and I love him.
Haven't you ever had
a very special friend?
( crying and sniffling )
Nickel Buddy,
I'll never spend you.
Funny Muffler...
And Jerky Pal...
Boo-boo Keys...
Snake Eyes...
BOTH:
We love you!
So, what do you say?
GROUP:
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Pop the bubble!
Let's get this over with
so I can go home
and play my clarinet.
Nooo...
( voice distorting,
getting lower and lower )
( distorted moaning )
Whoa!
( gasping )
Hey, don't I get a say in this?
I'll see you later, SpongeBob.
Things are getting a
little weird around here.
So long.
BUBBLE BUDDY:
Happy Leif Ericsson Day!
He's alive.
Of course.
Otherwise he couldn't tell
such funny jokes.
( laughing )
( group mumbling )
Okay by me... I'm gone.
Seems like only this morning
I held his bottle.
( sniffles )
They blow up so fast.
( crying and snuffling )
Ah... hi.