SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Big Pink Loser/Bubble Buddy - full transcript
Big Pink Loser: Patrick feels like he hasn't accomplished anything with his life and he decides to take SpongeBob on as his role model. At first, SpongeBob is flattered, but soon Patrick ...
( Gary meowing softly )
( honking loudly )
( honking loudly )
Wow, it's Sunday, Gary!
Guess what's for breakfast.
( meows )
That's right!
A sundae!
Whoops... looks like
we're out of ice cream.
Guess I'll have to use
something else...
Ketchup!
( grunting )
Hmm... bananas... cherries...
Boring!
Ah, here we go!
Onions!
Ready, Gary?
( meows )
( plays sad tune )
( sniffling )
( bawling )
Just one more thing!
Pea...
nuts.
Gary, our peanuts jar
is totally empty!
( burps )
Hmm...
Wait, I know one other place
we can find peanuts.
Good thing I still have
these peanut plants
growing in the windowsill.
A little texture never hurt.
There we go!
This sundae's
going to taste great!
Aren't you going to
help me, Gary?
Gary?
Oh, well.
More for me!
( gulping )
Mmm... ah!
Mmm.
You know what they say, Gary.
I'm easy like Sunday morning...
Okay, let's see my to-do list.
"Go to work, go to work,
go to work..."
No, that's not right.
I need the one for Sunday.
Ah, here we go.
"Say hi to everyone
in Bikini Bottom."
( panting )
Hello.
( gagging and groaning )
Some people are even late
on Sunday.
Hi, Mailfish.
( sniffs )
( whistle blows )
Hi, Mrs. Crossing Guard.
( sniffs )
Mother of mercy!
( horn blows, kids scream )
( crash )
oh!
( blowing horns,
crashing cymbals )
Wow, a parade!
Hi, parade.
Hi, tuba player, hi, drummer.
Hi, guy with the cymbals,
hi, trumpeter.
Hi, tambourine girl.
Hi, timbale man,
hi, didjeridoo player.
( playing )
Hi, triangle player
Hi, guy with the kettle drum.
Hi, pianist,
hi, guy with the flute.
And hello, Dolly!
( yelling and groaning )
( doors slam )
( wind blowing )
Was it something I said?
Something weird
is going on today.
Everyone's running away from me.
And now...
giant piles of bubble gum?
Oh, what next?!
Hi, SpongeBob.
Oh, hi, Patrick.
I'm confused.
Yes, I am.
Patrick, everyone is
running away from me.
Watch.
I just don't get it.
( rumbling )
PATRICK:
I don't either.
I just don't get it.
I don't, either.
Maybe it's the way
you're dressed.
BOTH:
Nah.
Maybe it's your voice.
( cackling laugh )
( cackling laugh echoing )
Good one, Patrick.
Well, maybe it's just
because you're ugly.
Ugly?!
You got to be kidding me.
Better try the reflection test.
Hi.
( sniffs )
Ugly...
( sniffling )
Oh, no...!
I can't be ugly!
I can't be!
I can't be ugly!
Am I ugly?
( crying )
Am I ugly?
My eyes, my eyes!
( tires squealing )
Ooh!
( crying ):
l'm ugly!
( thunder crashing )
SpongeBob, can I borrow
some bath beads?
( organ playing )
( organ playing )
( plays harsh chord )
SpongeBob?
Go...
Run away like all the others.
( crying ):
No one would want a friend
as ugly as I am.
Sure they would!
It makes them feel better
about the way they look.
Maybe a story will cheer you up.
It's called "The Ugly Barnacle."
Once there was an ugly barnacle.
He was so ugly
that everyone died.
The end.
That didn't help at all.
( crying )
How long?
How long have I been
ugly, Patrick?
As long as I can remember,
you poor ugly thing, you.
Help me!
I'm so ashamed!
I'm spiraling!
I'm spiraling!
Thanks, Patrick.
That's okay, Patrick.
Spiraling over.
Just do what I do
when I have problems.
Scream!
Come on, buddy, I'll help you.
Okay, now... say it.
Say it.
I can't.
SpongeBob, you're never
going to feel better
till you get this thing
off your chest.
I know, Patrick.
Say it.
Say it...
I'm ugly.
You're ugly and what?
Square?
No, proud.
I'm ugly and I'm proud.
Good!
Say it louder.
I'm ugly and I'm proud.
Louder.
I'm ugly and I'm proud!
Louder!
I'm ugly and I'm proud!
I'm ugly and I'm proud!
I'm ugly and I'm proud!
Is that what he calls it?
( panting )
That felt great!
I feel empowered!
So what do you want to do now?
I don't know.
How about a movie?
Pardon me, ugly sponge
coming through.
People respect self-esteem.
Hi, I'm very ugly
but you should
enjoy the movie anyway.
Excuse me, sir.
I hope my horrible ugliness
won't be a distraction to you.
Not at all, boy.
( sniffs )
( screaming )
Don't worry about him,
SpongeBob.
He's just a...
( crying )
SpongeBob...
SpongeBob, what's wrong?
( sniffling )
I can't do this, Patrick.
l've tried
and I've tried, but...
l'm not always
as confident as I look.
Maybe I'd better
just go back and hide.
What is wrong with you people?!
Afraid to look ugliness
in the face?
Well, here!
Look at it!
It's ugly, isn't it?
You look at it!
SPONGEBOB:
Hello.
You look at it!
Hi...
look at it!
Look at it!
Look at it!
Look at it!
I want all of you
to look at it!
( crowd screaming )
They all ran away, Patrick.
I bet there's no line
at the snack bar.
Hello?
Hello?
They must be on break.
Oh, wait, Patrick,
I just remembered.
I've got some of my
peanut/onion sundae
we can share.
( sizzling )
That looks great!
( gulps, slurps )
Ah...
( ratcheting and banging )
Oh... I got to go
to the restroom!
I'm out of soap, can I borrow...
Stay back!
I just want some...
Here, here's my money!
Take it! Take it
and go away!
My hands aren't that dirty.
( chuckling ):
Hey, do you guys want
to hear a bathroom joke?
( all gagging )
You trying to kill us?
( all mutter angrily )
Oh...! Oh...!
I... caught the ugly!
Patrick, is everything
okay in here?
( sobbing )
What are you doing in there?
Wouldn't you like to know?
And why is that bag
on your head?
Why?
Oh, no reason, except
you gave me the ugly!
( screams )
What am I going to do?
I can't go out
looking like this.
Just remember
what we talked about.
There's power in pride.
That may be fine for you
but I was one of
the beautiful people.
Now look at me!
I'm almost as ugly as you!
( sniffs, retches )
I always thought
"if I was as ugly as that guy
I don't know
what I would do."
Patrick...
what's my mom going to say?
Patrick...
Oh, my gosh! If
my sister finds out...
Oh, wait, I don't have a sister.
If the bank...
I mean
it's one thing if
you have bad shoes
or even bad hair, but...
Patrick!
You're not ugly,
your breath stinks.
Really bad.
Oh... what a relief.
Oh, Barnacle!
Patrick, what did you eat?
Oh, some roast beef,
some chicken, a pizza.
No, I meant just this morning.
Some roast beef,
some chicken, a pizza...
What else?
Well, I had
some of your sundae.
Sundae!
Patrick, my sundae
gave us rancid breath!
What do you mean?
( retches )
I mean, we're not ugly...
We just stink!
Stink?
BOTH:
Whoo-hoo!
We stink! We stink!
We stink!
We stink!
We stink! We stink!
We stink!
We stink!
We stink! We stink!
Oh, guess what, Squidward!
BOTH:
We stink!
( both laughing )
SPONGEBOB:
Oh, yeah!
I stink...!
PATRICK:
I reek...!
( honking loudly )
( honking loudly )
Wow, it's Sunday, Gary!
Guess what's for breakfast.
( meows )
That's right!
A sundae!
Whoops... looks like
we're out of ice cream.
Guess I'll have to use
something else...
Ketchup!
( grunting )
Hmm... bananas... cherries...
Boring!
Ah, here we go!
Onions!
Ready, Gary?
( meows )
( plays sad tune )
( sniffling )
( bawling )
Just one more thing!
Pea...
nuts.
Gary, our peanuts jar
is totally empty!
( burps )
Hmm...
Wait, I know one other place
we can find peanuts.
Good thing I still have
these peanut plants
growing in the windowsill.
A little texture never hurt.
There we go!
This sundae's
going to taste great!
Aren't you going to
help me, Gary?
Gary?
Oh, well.
More for me!
( gulping )
Mmm... ah!
Mmm.
You know what they say, Gary.
I'm easy like Sunday morning...
Okay, let's see my to-do list.
"Go to work, go to work,
go to work..."
No, that's not right.
I need the one for Sunday.
Ah, here we go.
"Say hi to everyone
in Bikini Bottom."
( panting )
Hello.
( gagging and groaning )
Some people are even late
on Sunday.
Hi, Mailfish.
( sniffs )
( whistle blows )
Hi, Mrs. Crossing Guard.
( sniffs )
Mother of mercy!
( horn blows, kids scream )
( crash )
oh!
( blowing horns,
crashing cymbals )
Wow, a parade!
Hi, parade.
Hi, tuba player, hi, drummer.
Hi, guy with the cymbals,
hi, trumpeter.
Hi, tambourine girl.
Hi, timbale man,
hi, didjeridoo player.
( playing )
Hi, triangle player
Hi, guy with the kettle drum.
Hi, pianist,
hi, guy with the flute.
And hello, Dolly!
( yelling and groaning )
( doors slam )
( wind blowing )
Was it something I said?
Something weird
is going on today.
Everyone's running away from me.
And now...
giant piles of bubble gum?
Oh, what next?!
Hi, SpongeBob.
Oh, hi, Patrick.
I'm confused.
Yes, I am.
Patrick, everyone is
running away from me.
Watch.
I just don't get it.
( rumbling )
PATRICK:
I don't either.
I just don't get it.
I don't, either.
Maybe it's the way
you're dressed.
BOTH:
Nah.
Maybe it's your voice.
( cackling laugh )
( cackling laugh echoing )
Good one, Patrick.
Well, maybe it's just
because you're ugly.
Ugly?!
You got to be kidding me.
Better try the reflection test.
Hi.
( sniffs )
Ugly...
( sniffling )
Oh, no...!
I can't be ugly!
I can't be!
I can't be ugly!
Am I ugly?
( crying )
Am I ugly?
My eyes, my eyes!
( tires squealing )
Ooh!
( crying ):
l'm ugly!
( thunder crashing )
SpongeBob, can I borrow
some bath beads?
( organ playing )
( organ playing )
( plays harsh chord )
SpongeBob?
Go...
Run away like all the others.
( crying ):
No one would want a friend
as ugly as I am.
Sure they would!
It makes them feel better
about the way they look.
Maybe a story will cheer you up.
It's called "The Ugly Barnacle."
Once there was an ugly barnacle.
He was so ugly
that everyone died.
The end.
That didn't help at all.
( crying )
How long?
How long have I been
ugly, Patrick?
As long as I can remember,
you poor ugly thing, you.
Help me!
I'm so ashamed!
I'm spiraling!
I'm spiraling!
Thanks, Patrick.
That's okay, Patrick.
Spiraling over.
Just do what I do
when I have problems.
Scream!
Come on, buddy, I'll help you.
Okay, now... say it.
Say it.
I can't.
SpongeBob, you're never
going to feel better
till you get this thing
off your chest.
I know, Patrick.
Say it.
Say it...
I'm ugly.
You're ugly and what?
Square?
No, proud.
I'm ugly and I'm proud.
Good!
Say it louder.
I'm ugly and I'm proud.
Louder.
I'm ugly and I'm proud!
Louder!
I'm ugly and I'm proud!
I'm ugly and I'm proud!
I'm ugly and I'm proud!
Is that what he calls it?
( panting )
That felt great!
I feel empowered!
So what do you want to do now?
I don't know.
How about a movie?
Pardon me, ugly sponge
coming through.
People respect self-esteem.
Hi, I'm very ugly
but you should
enjoy the movie anyway.
Excuse me, sir.
I hope my horrible ugliness
won't be a distraction to you.
Not at all, boy.
( sniffs )
( screaming )
Don't worry about him,
SpongeBob.
He's just a...
( crying )
SpongeBob...
SpongeBob, what's wrong?
( sniffling )
I can't do this, Patrick.
l've tried
and I've tried, but...
l'm not always
as confident as I look.
Maybe I'd better
just go back and hide.
What is wrong with you people?!
Afraid to look ugliness
in the face?
Well, here!
Look at it!
It's ugly, isn't it?
You look at it!
SPONGEBOB:
Hello.
You look at it!
Hi...
look at it!
Look at it!
Look at it!
Look at it!
I want all of you
to look at it!
( crowd screaming )
They all ran away, Patrick.
I bet there's no line
at the snack bar.
Hello?
Hello?
They must be on break.
Oh, wait, Patrick,
I just remembered.
I've got some of my
peanut/onion sundae
we can share.
( sizzling )
That looks great!
( gulps, slurps )
Ah...
( ratcheting and banging )
Oh... I got to go
to the restroom!
I'm out of soap, can I borrow...
Stay back!
I just want some...
Here, here's my money!
Take it! Take it
and go away!
My hands aren't that dirty.
( chuckling ):
Hey, do you guys want
to hear a bathroom joke?
( all gagging )
You trying to kill us?
( all mutter angrily )
Oh...! Oh...!
I... caught the ugly!
Patrick, is everything
okay in here?
( sobbing )
What are you doing in there?
Wouldn't you like to know?
And why is that bag
on your head?
Why?
Oh, no reason, except
you gave me the ugly!
( screams )
What am I going to do?
I can't go out
looking like this.
Just remember
what we talked about.
There's power in pride.
That may be fine for you
but I was one of
the beautiful people.
Now look at me!
I'm almost as ugly as you!
( sniffs, retches )
I always thought
"if I was as ugly as that guy
I don't know
what I would do."
Patrick...
what's my mom going to say?
Patrick...
Oh, my gosh! If
my sister finds out...
Oh, wait, I don't have a sister.
If the bank...
I mean
it's one thing if
you have bad shoes
or even bad hair, but...
Patrick!
You're not ugly,
your breath stinks.
Really bad.
Oh... what a relief.
Oh, Barnacle!
Patrick, what did you eat?
Oh, some roast beef,
some chicken, a pizza.
No, I meant just this morning.
Some roast beef,
some chicken, a pizza...
What else?
Well, I had
some of your sundae.
Sundae!
Patrick, my sundae
gave us rancid breath!
What do you mean?
( retches )
I mean, we're not ugly...
We just stink!
Stink?
BOTH:
Whoo-hoo!
We stink! We stink!
We stink!
We stink!
We stink! We stink!
We stink!
We stink!
We stink! We stink!
Oh, guess what, Squidward!
BOTH:
We stink!
( both laughing )
SPONGEBOB:
Oh, yeah!
I stink...!
PATRICK:
I reek...!