SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 12, Episode 12 - Jolly Lodgers/Biddy Sitting - full transcript

- Are you ready, kids?

All: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

All: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

All: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!



- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

All: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [muttering]

- Oh, boy! A circus.



Squidward, you didn't tell me
the circus was in town.

[gasps]

And it's in your house.

[giggles]

- Oh, good grief.
It's not a circus, you clown.

It's an exterminator's
fumigation tent.

Somebody's been feeding sea
urchins in this neighborhood,

and they've infested my house.

- [chuckles]

Ooh, what's that up there?

- Squidward's circus is boring,

and the cotton candy is stale.

[grunting]

- [growls]

It's not a circus,
and that's not cotton candy.

D'oh, never mind.

- Squidward, are you
going somewhere?

- I'll be staying at a hotel
for the next few days

for peace and quiet.

- Goodbye!
- Bye!

Seasons greetings!

[festive music]

♪ ♪

both: [vocalizing]

- [mutters]

- Yes?

- Uh, are you the manager?

- No, I just play one on TV.

I'd like a room.

Well, lucky you.
We have one room left,

but I just gave it away.

- Well, how does
that make me lucky?

- Because I just gave it to you.

- [mutters]

- Would you like a bell boy?

- Why yes, thank you.

- Here's your bell, boy.

[laughs]

- [mutters]

[exhales]

Well, now, this
is very nice indeed.

[sighs]

Mm, this is heaven.

- [laughing excitedly]

- Hello?

Anyone there?

Hello?

Hm.

[exhales]

- [yelling excitedly]

- Hello?

Did someone just come in?

[both laughing excitedly]

[both grunt]

- Don't you just love playing
Hotel Slam And Run?

- I enjoy its...

intellectual challenge.

[excited gibberish]

- Huh?

All right, I know I heard
something in here.

[groans]

Maybe I'm just
not relaxed enough.

[smacks]

Hmm.

- Room service.
- [giggles]

- Yes, hello. Do you have
the blue plate special today?

- Blue plate? Yes, we have that.

Sir, all our plates are blue.

[giggles]

- Then I'll have that.

- Oh, boys.

- Yes?

Thanks for filling in
on the phone.

You may take the order
up to the room now.

Here's your reward.

[both barking]

[knocking]

- Room service.

- Come in.

[both shouting excitedly]

- Squidward?

What a happy surprise.

- SpongeBob, aren't you
going to introduce me?

- Oh, it's Squidward, Patrick,

our next-door neighbor
and best friend.

- Well, if you says so.

- [growls]

Get off me!

What are you doing
in this hotel?

- This hotel is hosting

the annual
Jelly Fishing Convention.

Jelly Fishing Convention?

- Yes.

And my room is over there.

- And that's my room in there.

Both: Squidward's in the middle!

Squidward's in the middle!

- Conga line!

[both laughing]

both: ♪ Squidward's
in the middle ♪

♪ Squidward's in the middle ♪

♪ Squidward's in the middle ♪

- [panting]

[exhales]

all: ♪ Squidward's
in the middle ♪

♪ Squidward's in the middle ♪

♪ Squidward's in the middle ♪

♪ Squidward's in the middle ♪

- You stay away from me.

I don't want to see
either of you

in any part of this hotel.

[groans]

I used to love the conga.

Ahh, the hotel spa.

Mm, this massage feels great.

You have magic fingers.

[exhales]

both: Squidward!

Magic fingers!

- No!

Stay away from me!

- Huh.

Oh, we really do
have magic fingers.

- Oh, yes, I've still got
a dancer's body.

One.

Two.

One.

Two.

Huh?

Both: Squidward!

- Stay away from me.

- Heave!
- Ho!

- Heave!

- No SpongeBob.

No Patrick.

[exhales]

Ah, peace and quiet.

[panicked shouts]

both: Squidward!

- Leave me alone!

- Heave!
- Ho!

[gargling]

- [gasps]

[sighs]

Finally.

[groans]

[creepy musical flourish]

[panting]

[screaming]

[yelling]

[screaming]

[yelling]

[screaming]

Hm.

That's better.

[screams]

Stay away from me.

I'm warning you.

I want to be alone.

[shudders]

- Oh, well, if you
want to be alone,

don't go into the room
behind you.

Wait, are you two
in there already?

- No, silly.

That's where the jelly fishing
convention is.

- Welcome, Jelly Fisher.

You must be a newbie.

- Huh?

[stammering]

- Jelly Fishing! Whoo-hoo!

[cheering]

- [groans]

- Welcome, newbie!

- [screams]

- Jelly hug.

- [yells]

Hm?

Nooooooooooo!

All: Jelly Fishing.
Jelly Fishing.

Jelly Fishing.

- [muttering]

- [gasps]

- [muttering]

both: Hi, Squidward.

- Squidward, everyone loves you.

Are you having the funnest
fun fun fun time ever?

- I am not fun.

Everybody loves me so much,
they won't let me leave.

- Hey, Squidward,
we love you, man.

- You belong with us now.

- Say, if I put
that dumb thing on,

I can sneak out of here without
anybody knowing it's me.

[grunts]

[chuckles]
Goodbye, jelly-smellies.

I'm outta here, and back
to peace and quiet in my room.

[overlapping chatter]

- All right, Jelly Fishers,

it's the moment
you've all been waiting for.

- [cheering]

- Let the annual

Jellyfish Mascot Hunt begin!

[cheering]

- Jellyfish Mascot Hunt?

[hollering]

[yells]

[grunting]

[hollering]

[grunting]

- Huh? What's this?

Zapper?

[beep]

- Whoop whoop whoop!

[screams]

- Zap me.

[yells]

- [laughs] Zapper.

[overlapping chatter]

[grunting]

[yelling]

[zaps]

[zaps]

both: Zap me!

[zaps]

[zaps]

[zaps]

- [groans]

both: Oh, boy!

[zaps]

- [laughs]

- Yes...

[zaps]

- Hello, Pest Control?

I'm calling
from the Hotel Halibut.

We've got a horrible infestation

of jelly fish...

fanatics.

- More zaps.
- Zap me.

Send exterminators now!

[sirens]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[all yelling]

- I sure hope Squidward
got out okay.

- Squidward?

You must introduce me some day.

- Hm?

- ♪ I've got peace and quiet ♪

♪ I've got peace and quiet
Whoo ♪

♪ I've got peace and quiet ♪

[upbeat music]