SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 12, Episode 10 - Shell Games/Senior Discount - full transcript
Patrick discovers that the rock he lives under is actually a sea turtle who overslept. Old Man Jenkins disrupts business as usual at the Krusty Krab, but Mr. Krabs can't find a way to kick him out.
♪
- Hmm, I love you.
And I love you.
And I love you.
Heh-heh-heh.
And I love you too.
Oooh.
[laughs]
I tell ya, Mr. Squidward,
today's been our best day of
business in years.
Yep, profits are so good,
there's nothing that could
possibly ruin
this perfect... what?
No!
- Augh!
Ow! - Mr. Krabs. Are you okay?
- Oh!
- Oooh!
What's a matter?
Is there too much money?
I'll get rid of the money.
- What are you...
masticatin' me moolah.
I ain't upset about the money,
boy.
I'm upset about him.
- [grunts]
- Old Man Jenkins?
But I love Old Man Jenkins.
He always has old and
interesting smells,
and his bones make such funny
noises,
and his eyes are the milkiest
shade of white, and...
- Ahh-ooh! Eeeee!
[grunts]
- Every day, it's the
same routine...
- I'll have...
a small coffee.
- Hmm, that'll be 25 cents.
- I don't think so, Charlie.
I get the senior discount.
[chuckling]
- [mumbling]
Then he hogs that table all
day...
- [slurping]
- And annoys all me other
customers.
- [gulping]
Ahh!
- And he don't buy nothin'
else neither.
He just makes that disgustin'
condiment soup
and listens to his radio,
all for free.
And anytime someone
says somethin' to him,
it's always the same response...
- Excuse me, could you turn the
volume down on your soup?
- Respect your elders.
- Ugh!
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
[sobbing]
- Ooh, it just makes me so
steaming mad.
[grunting]
- Ooh. [sniffs]
Ahh.
- Well, I won't stand
for it no more.
- [slurping]
- It's time to kick out the
coot.
- Eh? What's going on now?
- Hey. If that's how you treat
the elderly,
then I'm never eating another
Krabby Patty in here again.
- Me neither.
- Give the poor old guy a break.
- Oh. Uh, it's okay.
I... I was just... shaking
the dust off him. See?
- Whaa-ahh!
Ahh! Uh, wait.
Let's see here.
Heh, there. Heh-heh-heh.
- Respect your elders.
[banjo twanging]
- ♪ Oohhhhhhh
♪ Elders are your betters
cause we're older ♪
♪ So all you whippersnappers
get in line ♪
♪ Y'all best be respectful
of your elders ♪
♪ Or we'll whip you
with a soup spoon every time ♪
Ha!
- [groaning]
Ahh!
- Well, gee, Mr. Krabs.
If you want Old Man Jenkins to
leave,
why not just try
asking him nicely?
- I think you oughta be the one
to ask him nicely.
"Oh, hi. I'm SpongeBob,
"and I love you, but will
you go home, please?
Hee-hee-hee-hee."
"I'm Old Man Jenkins,
and I'm a jerk who likes to
cost Mr. Krabs money."
- Ohh.
- What the?
- [whispering]
Ahh!
- What is going on, boy-o?
Why ain't Jenkins vacatin' me
restaurant?
- Oh, Mr. Krabs.
I couldn't ask Old Man Jenkins
to leave
after hearing his story.
His feet hurt,
and his grandson never calls,
and he has to take a pill that
helps him to remember
to take his other pills.
Why, he takes so many pills,
he's more pill than man.
- Okay, time to step it up...
to passive aggression.
[chuckling]
This'll make him uncomfortable.
[together] Ooh. Whew. Ooh.
- [panting]
[groaning]
Ahhh.
- Ahhh....
[groaning]
- [mumbling]
- Ehh... ehh...
it's too cold in here
for my old blood.
Show a little respect for your
elders and turn up the heat.
- [grumbling]
- Thank you.
- So you can take the heat,
but can you take... the beat?
[chuckling]
[rock music]
- Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
[both grunting]
♪
- [chuckling]
- [snoring]
- [gasps]
I don't understand.
How could you endure
that cacophony?
- Bleh-ahh! Ehh.
Eh? You say something?
I'm a little deaf in my ears.
- Really? Then what's with
the radio?
Huh?
- I like to cook on
the vacuum tubes.
Now show some respect for your
elders!
[munching]
- Arrgh!
Jenkins, I'm putting me foot
down.
You're ruining me business, and
you're costing me money.
Whoo, whoa.
Now get out.
- It ain't legal to throw out
the elderly in this town.
So respect your elders!
- Respect... my... elders, hmm?
Oh, Old Man Jenkins,
I've got someone I'd like you
to meet.
- Hm? What's this about now?
- This here is me father.
And he is older than you.
So you best respect
what he has to say.
- Ahoy there, Jenkins.
Time for you to be hoistin'
your sails and movin' on, son.
- Oh, I don't think so.
This is my father,
Very Old Man Jenkins, Sr.
He's even older than your old
man, Krabs.
- And I say we stay.
Both you young uns should
respect your elders.
- And I say both you Jenkinses
should respect your elder...
me grandpappy.
- Two can play at that game.
Meet Grandpa Jenkins. Ha-ha.
- I remember the day when
Krabby Patties
used to cost a dime.
- Oh, yeah? Well, I remember
when they cost a nickel. Hm?
- Okay, let's not give anyone
ideas about cheap patties.
Now, out with the old, and in
with the even older.
Right, Great-Grandpappy Krabs?
Ha-ha.
- Wake up, Great-Grandpop.
Defend the family's honor.
Hee-ya! - Ohh!
- Ooh, respect... someone.
- Am I an elder?
- Ohh.
Oh, Great-Great-Grandpa Krabs,
return to us.
I beseech thee.
Ha. You're older than they are.
Kick 'em out.
- I want to speak with my
Great-Great-Grandpa Jenkins.
Ahh.
Get 'em,
Ancient-Great-Grand-Pop.
- Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
[cackling]
- Youthum Ignorami,
Elderus Respecticus.
[dramatic music]
♪
- [chuckling] Here we go.
Ha-ha.
- You best respect your elders.
- My elders will teach your
elders a little respect.
Get 'em, Krabses!
- Jenkinses, attack!
Both: Ahh-ahh!
[grunting]
- Hey. Hey, uh, you
guys are kind of
bumming us out.
- Yes, we don't get
to visit the land
of the living very often.
- And we just want to party!
- You two party-poopers need to
respect your elders
and vacate the premises.
Both: Ahh!
[upbeat dance music]
- [sighs]
Looks like it's gonna be a
while.
- What do we do now?
- Come on, guys.
You've been sitting here all
day.
Doesn't anyone want
to order some chum?
- I'll just have a small
coffee, please.
- I got this one, Krabby...
with my senior discount.
Here ya go, Jimbo.
- Oof!
Ow!
That's it.
Both of you out!
Both: Respect your elders!
- Hmm, I love you.
And I love you.
And I love you.
Heh-heh-heh.
And I love you too.
Oooh.
[laughs]
I tell ya, Mr. Squidward,
today's been our best day of
business in years.
Yep, profits are so good,
there's nothing that could
possibly ruin
this perfect... what?
No!
- Augh!
Ow! - Mr. Krabs. Are you okay?
- Oh!
- Oooh!
What's a matter?
Is there too much money?
I'll get rid of the money.
- What are you...
masticatin' me moolah.
I ain't upset about the money,
boy.
I'm upset about him.
- [grunts]
- Old Man Jenkins?
But I love Old Man Jenkins.
He always has old and
interesting smells,
and his bones make such funny
noises,
and his eyes are the milkiest
shade of white, and...
- Ahh-ooh! Eeeee!
[grunts]
- Every day, it's the
same routine...
- I'll have...
a small coffee.
- Hmm, that'll be 25 cents.
- I don't think so, Charlie.
I get the senior discount.
[chuckling]
- [mumbling]
Then he hogs that table all
day...
- [slurping]
- And annoys all me other
customers.
- [gulping]
Ahh!
- And he don't buy nothin'
else neither.
He just makes that disgustin'
condiment soup
and listens to his radio,
all for free.
And anytime someone
says somethin' to him,
it's always the same response...
- Excuse me, could you turn the
volume down on your soup?
- Respect your elders.
- Ugh!
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
[sobbing]
- Ooh, it just makes me so
steaming mad.
[grunting]
- Ooh. [sniffs]
Ahh.
- Well, I won't stand
for it no more.
- [slurping]
- It's time to kick out the
coot.
- Eh? What's going on now?
- Hey. If that's how you treat
the elderly,
then I'm never eating another
Krabby Patty in here again.
- Me neither.
- Give the poor old guy a break.
- Oh. Uh, it's okay.
I... I was just... shaking
the dust off him. See?
- Whaa-ahh!
Ahh! Uh, wait.
Let's see here.
Heh, there. Heh-heh-heh.
- Respect your elders.
[banjo twanging]
- ♪ Oohhhhhhh
♪ Elders are your betters
cause we're older ♪
♪ So all you whippersnappers
get in line ♪
♪ Y'all best be respectful
of your elders ♪
♪ Or we'll whip you
with a soup spoon every time ♪
Ha!
- [groaning]
Ahh!
- Well, gee, Mr. Krabs.
If you want Old Man Jenkins to
leave,
why not just try
asking him nicely?
- I think you oughta be the one
to ask him nicely.
"Oh, hi. I'm SpongeBob,
"and I love you, but will
you go home, please?
Hee-hee-hee-hee."
"I'm Old Man Jenkins,
and I'm a jerk who likes to
cost Mr. Krabs money."
- Ohh.
- What the?
- [whispering]
Ahh!
- What is going on, boy-o?
Why ain't Jenkins vacatin' me
restaurant?
- Oh, Mr. Krabs.
I couldn't ask Old Man Jenkins
to leave
after hearing his story.
His feet hurt,
and his grandson never calls,
and he has to take a pill that
helps him to remember
to take his other pills.
Why, he takes so many pills,
he's more pill than man.
- Okay, time to step it up...
to passive aggression.
[chuckling]
This'll make him uncomfortable.
[together] Ooh. Whew. Ooh.
- [panting]
[groaning]
Ahhh.
- Ahhh....
[groaning]
- [mumbling]
- Ehh... ehh...
it's too cold in here
for my old blood.
Show a little respect for your
elders and turn up the heat.
- [grumbling]
- Thank you.
- So you can take the heat,
but can you take... the beat?
[chuckling]
[rock music]
- Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
[both grunting]
♪
- [chuckling]
- [snoring]
- [gasps]
I don't understand.
How could you endure
that cacophony?
- Bleh-ahh! Ehh.
Eh? You say something?
I'm a little deaf in my ears.
- Really? Then what's with
the radio?
Huh?
- I like to cook on
the vacuum tubes.
Now show some respect for your
elders!
[munching]
- Arrgh!
Jenkins, I'm putting me foot
down.
You're ruining me business, and
you're costing me money.
Whoo, whoa.
Now get out.
- It ain't legal to throw out
the elderly in this town.
So respect your elders!
- Respect... my... elders, hmm?
Oh, Old Man Jenkins,
I've got someone I'd like you
to meet.
- Hm? What's this about now?
- This here is me father.
And he is older than you.
So you best respect
what he has to say.
- Ahoy there, Jenkins.
Time for you to be hoistin'
your sails and movin' on, son.
- Oh, I don't think so.
This is my father,
Very Old Man Jenkins, Sr.
He's even older than your old
man, Krabs.
- And I say we stay.
Both you young uns should
respect your elders.
- And I say both you Jenkinses
should respect your elder...
me grandpappy.
- Two can play at that game.
Meet Grandpa Jenkins. Ha-ha.
- I remember the day when
Krabby Patties
used to cost a dime.
- Oh, yeah? Well, I remember
when they cost a nickel. Hm?
- Okay, let's not give anyone
ideas about cheap patties.
Now, out with the old, and in
with the even older.
Right, Great-Grandpappy Krabs?
Ha-ha.
- Wake up, Great-Grandpop.
Defend the family's honor.
Hee-ya! - Ohh!
- Ooh, respect... someone.
- Am I an elder?
- Ohh.
Oh, Great-Great-Grandpa Krabs,
return to us.
I beseech thee.
Ha. You're older than they are.
Kick 'em out.
- I want to speak with my
Great-Great-Grandpa Jenkins.
Ahh.
Get 'em,
Ancient-Great-Grand-Pop.
- Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
[cackling]
- Youthum Ignorami,
Elderus Respecticus.
[dramatic music]
♪
- [chuckling] Here we go.
Ha-ha.
- You best respect your elders.
- My elders will teach your
elders a little respect.
Get 'em, Krabses!
- Jenkinses, attack!
Both: Ahh-ahh!
[grunting]
- Hey. Hey, uh, you
guys are kind of
bumming us out.
- Yes, we don't get
to visit the land
of the living very often.
- And we just want to party!
- You two party-poopers need to
respect your elders
and vacate the premises.
Both: Ahh!
[upbeat dance music]
- [sighs]
Looks like it's gonna be a
while.
- What do we do now?
- Come on, guys.
You've been sitting here all
day.
Doesn't anyone want
to order some chum?
- I'll just have a small
coffee, please.
- I got this one, Krabby...
with my senior discount.
Here ya go, Jimbo.
- Oof!
Ow!
That's it.
Both of you out!
Both: Respect your elders!