SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 12, Episode 8 - Sandy's Nutty Nieces/Insecurity Guards - full transcript
SpongeBob gets in over his head when he volunteers to babysit Sandy's 3 nieces. SpongeBob and Patrick volunteer as guards at the museum, while Squidward attempts to hang his painting unnoticed.
Are you ready, kids?
All:
Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
All:
Aye, aye, Captain!
♪ Ohh...
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
All: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
*SpongeBob SquarePants*
[waves crashing]
TV release: Season 12 Episode 07
IMDB ID: Season 12 Episode 08
[laid-back steel guitar]
Episode Title: "Insecurity Guards"
♪
Sync corrections by srjanapala
[elegant harpsichord music]
Well, what do you think?
Do you love it?
Mr. Tentacles, I simply
cannot express
my true feelings about
your work!
Yes, I realize my artistic
brilliance can be overwhelming.
Quite frankly...
[inhales]
It stinks!
Yes, and... what?!
Now, see here!
Maybe this museum is too
low-brow
for this masterpiece!
[gasps]
How dare you! Be gone!
[grunting]
And take your putrid painting
with you!
It has no place in this
museum's art collection!
Won't anyone save my
precious painting!?
Got it!
Why couldn't it have been
anyone else?
Give me that! [straining]
What are you doing here?!
Patrick is the museum's
new security guard!
And he's giving me
a guided tour.
[grunts] Heh.
Him? Security?!
Pfft! Ha!
This museum's dumber
than I thought.
Hold on, Squidward...
if that pointy-headed
pea brain
is the security guard
for this place,
then I could sneak my artwork
into the museum!
Sneak what into a where?
Think louder, Squidward!
You're mumbling!
Get out of my head!
[grunting]
[squeaking]
[sighs] Give me that!
Both: Bye!
Bon voyage!
Keep making pretty pictures!
The first exhibit on our
tour is...
[eerie music]
Whoa!
The employee locker room!
Wow!
Your life is so
glamorous!
You could be my
junior assistant!
- Really?!
- Sure.
There's a ton of uniforms
in these metal boxes!
Check it out!
Let me just get my key.
[straining]
- Put this on!
- Okay!
[yells]
Well, how do I look?
Guard-tastic!
[indistinct chatter]
Now, rule number one
of guarding is,
don't let visitors touch stuff.
No touchy, no feely.
Eye-eye.
Rule number B: no running!
[children shouting]
Single file, children,
single file.
But stampeding is just fine.
And the most important rule
of all is,
don't let visitors steal stuff!
If you see anybody suspicious,
you give them the ol'
stink eye!
Hmm.
[chuckling]
Hm?
[eyes hissing]
[groaning]
Now you try!
[grunts]
Whew.
[screams]
[straining]
[squeaking]
Mmmm.
Ooh, delicious. [giggling]
Ohh...
You'll get there, pal.
Behold, SpongeBob.
Before laughter, there was
the pre-hysterical period.
[gasps] Oh, look, honey!
[humming]
What an excellent example
of the primitive security
guard era.
Ooh! I almost forgot
rule number fourth!
No flash photography!
[both scream]
And that is everything I know
about being a security guard.
[chomping]
[belches]
Oh!
Now, I'll teach you
everything I don't know.
[crickets chirping]
Right this way.
Oh, boy!
An extinct wooly mollusk!
[trumpeting]
Aw, this little guy looks like
my Gary.
Meow.
Too bad we aren't
allowed to touch anything.
Pfft! SpongeBob,
the rules don't
apply to us.
- We're security!
- Hooray!
[giggling]
Pffft!
[giggling]
[buzzing]
Is that it?
Come on.
Do something!
[growling]
[panting]
Why! Won't! You! Work?!
Huh?
[both scream]
[grunting]
And here we see the ancient
junk of the great empire
of... Pat-Lantis!
[dramatic music]
[whistles]
Hm?
Hey! No touching
the exhibits, buddy!
[grunting] Oof!
[rumbling]
[all scream]
[dramatic music]
[toilet flushes]
Hmm...
[gasps]
Sorry about that, mister.
Ooh!
Huh? Oh, look, Patrick!
A mummy!
Mummy! Awww.
Uh, no, Patrick.
It's not your mother...
Love your new look!
How's dad?
Never mind.
[stampeding]
Will those kids be okay
in there?
Oh sure, Mummy loves kids!
I think this is yours.
Hm. Huh?
[stampeding]
Single file, children.
[groans]
Ooooh.
Ooooh!
Ooh-ooh-ooh.
[gasps]
- Hee!
- Both: Whatcha doin'?!
[gasps]
I'm cleaning centuries of dirt
from this priceless painting.
Going too slow!
I think I know how we can
speed things along!
Please stand back
for your safety.
Ooh!
[grinding]
[bells jangling]
Here you go!
[shattering]
[sunny music]
♪
[grunts]
[maniacal laughter]
Now to hang my masterpiece.
Mm-hmm...
[grunting]
[chuckling]
[muttering]
Ooh! I didn't know they had
pin the tail on the sea-donkey!
This place has everything!
[both giggling]
[camera shutter clicks]
Hey! No flash photography!
Whew!
[chuckling]
[gasps]
Yahhh!
[neighing]
The winner!
[chuckling]
- Did you see that guy?
- Yeah!
No running allowed!
Let's get him!
Hee-haw!
Ah! They're finally gone!
[chortling]
Hmm? Hmm.
[grunts]
Hey, Patrick?
I think that guy's trying to...
Touch that painting!
Hmm? Hmm.
[chuckling]
- Uh-oh!
- And now he's stealing it!
[imitates siren]
[panting]
Oh, no. Dead end!
[sitar music]
[gasps]
Stop, thief!
[panting]
Ha, ha... oh!
[grunts]
Looks like this case
is all wrapped up.
[mumbling]
- Thank you, Mummy.
- Anytime, sweetie.
[gasps]
[all panting]
[wheezing]
We're never gonna catch him!
Ooh! The woolly mollusk!
Ah!
Hi-ya!
[dramatic music]
[roars]
- Hmm.
- Um...
[grunting] Come on.
[grunting]
[panting]
Ha, ha! Too slow!
[stampeding]
Single file, children.
Single file.
[chuckling]
[both shout]
We've secured
the purple-tater, over.
[siren wailing]
[sighs]
Hmm?
There! Back where you belong.
[mumbling] It's beautiful!
You actually like
that eyesore?
Why, it's the greatest
painting I've ever seen...
hanging in a museum!
[cackling]
Okay, that's enough, weirdo.
[chuckling]
All:
Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
All:
Aye, aye, Captain!
♪ Ohh...
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
All: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
*SpongeBob SquarePants*
[waves crashing]
TV release: Season 12 Episode 07
IMDB ID: Season 12 Episode 08
[laid-back steel guitar]
Episode Title: "Insecurity Guards"
♪
Sync corrections by srjanapala
[elegant harpsichord music]
Well, what do you think?
Do you love it?
Mr. Tentacles, I simply
cannot express
my true feelings about
your work!
Yes, I realize my artistic
brilliance can be overwhelming.
Quite frankly...
[inhales]
It stinks!
Yes, and... what?!
Now, see here!
Maybe this museum is too
low-brow
for this masterpiece!
[gasps]
How dare you! Be gone!
[grunting]
And take your putrid painting
with you!
It has no place in this
museum's art collection!
Won't anyone save my
precious painting!?
Got it!
Why couldn't it have been
anyone else?
Give me that! [straining]
What are you doing here?!
Patrick is the museum's
new security guard!
And he's giving me
a guided tour.
[grunts] Heh.
Him? Security?!
Pfft! Ha!
This museum's dumber
than I thought.
Hold on, Squidward...
if that pointy-headed
pea brain
is the security guard
for this place,
then I could sneak my artwork
into the museum!
Sneak what into a where?
Think louder, Squidward!
You're mumbling!
Get out of my head!
[grunting]
[squeaking]
[sighs] Give me that!
Both: Bye!
Bon voyage!
Keep making pretty pictures!
The first exhibit on our
tour is...
[eerie music]
Whoa!
The employee locker room!
Wow!
Your life is so
glamorous!
You could be my
junior assistant!
- Really?!
- Sure.
There's a ton of uniforms
in these metal boxes!
Check it out!
Let me just get my key.
[straining]
- Put this on!
- Okay!
[yells]
Well, how do I look?
Guard-tastic!
[indistinct chatter]
Now, rule number one
of guarding is,
don't let visitors touch stuff.
No touchy, no feely.
Eye-eye.
Rule number B: no running!
[children shouting]
Single file, children,
single file.
But stampeding is just fine.
And the most important rule
of all is,
don't let visitors steal stuff!
If you see anybody suspicious,
you give them the ol'
stink eye!
Hmm.
[chuckling]
Hm?
[eyes hissing]
[groaning]
Now you try!
[grunts]
Whew.
[screams]
[straining]
[squeaking]
Mmmm.
Ooh, delicious. [giggling]
Ohh...
You'll get there, pal.
Behold, SpongeBob.
Before laughter, there was
the pre-hysterical period.
[gasps] Oh, look, honey!
[humming]
What an excellent example
of the primitive security
guard era.
Ooh! I almost forgot
rule number fourth!
No flash photography!
[both scream]
And that is everything I know
about being a security guard.
[chomping]
[belches]
Oh!
Now, I'll teach you
everything I don't know.
[crickets chirping]
Right this way.
Oh, boy!
An extinct wooly mollusk!
[trumpeting]
Aw, this little guy looks like
my Gary.
Meow.
Too bad we aren't
allowed to touch anything.
Pfft! SpongeBob,
the rules don't
apply to us.
- We're security!
- Hooray!
[giggling]
Pffft!
[giggling]
[buzzing]
Is that it?
Come on.
Do something!
[growling]
[panting]
Why! Won't! You! Work?!
Huh?
[both scream]
[grunting]
And here we see the ancient
junk of the great empire
of... Pat-Lantis!
[dramatic music]
[whistles]
Hm?
Hey! No touching
the exhibits, buddy!
[grunting] Oof!
[rumbling]
[all scream]
[dramatic music]
[toilet flushes]
Hmm...
[gasps]
Sorry about that, mister.
Ooh!
Huh? Oh, look, Patrick!
A mummy!
Mummy! Awww.
Uh, no, Patrick.
It's not your mother...
Love your new look!
How's dad?
Never mind.
[stampeding]
Will those kids be okay
in there?
Oh sure, Mummy loves kids!
I think this is yours.
Hm. Huh?
[stampeding]
Single file, children.
[groans]
Ooooh.
Ooooh!
Ooh-ooh-ooh.
[gasps]
- Hee!
- Both: Whatcha doin'?!
[gasps]
I'm cleaning centuries of dirt
from this priceless painting.
Going too slow!
I think I know how we can
speed things along!
Please stand back
for your safety.
Ooh!
[grinding]
[bells jangling]
Here you go!
[shattering]
[sunny music]
♪
[grunts]
[maniacal laughter]
Now to hang my masterpiece.
Mm-hmm...
[grunting]
[chuckling]
[muttering]
Ooh! I didn't know they had
pin the tail on the sea-donkey!
This place has everything!
[both giggling]
[camera shutter clicks]
Hey! No flash photography!
Whew!
[chuckling]
[gasps]
Yahhh!
[neighing]
The winner!
[chuckling]
- Did you see that guy?
- Yeah!
No running allowed!
Let's get him!
Hee-haw!
Ah! They're finally gone!
[chortling]
Hmm? Hmm.
[grunts]
Hey, Patrick?
I think that guy's trying to...
Touch that painting!
Hmm? Hmm.
[chuckling]
- Uh-oh!
- And now he's stealing it!
[imitates siren]
[panting]
Oh, no. Dead end!
[sitar music]
[gasps]
Stop, thief!
[panting]
Ha, ha... oh!
[grunts]
Looks like this case
is all wrapped up.
[mumbling]
- Thank you, Mummy.
- Anytime, sweetie.
[gasps]
[all panting]
[wheezing]
We're never gonna catch him!
Ooh! The woolly mollusk!
Ah!
Hi-ya!
[dramatic music]
[roars]
- Hmm.
- Um...
[grunting] Come on.
[grunting]
[panting]
Ha, ha! Too slow!
[stampeding]
Single file, children.
Single file.
[chuckling]
[both shout]
We've secured
the purple-tater, over.
[siren wailing]
[sighs]
Hmm?
There! Back where you belong.
[mumbling] It's beautiful!
You actually like
that eyesore?
Why, it's the greatest
painting I've ever seen...
hanging in a museum!
[cackling]
Okay, that's enough, weirdo.
[chuckling]