SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Jellyfishing/Plankton! - full transcript
Jellyfishing: When SpongeBob and Patrick find Squidward is recovering from a bicycling accident, SpongeBob and Patrick decide to take Squidward jellyfishing with them so that he can have his "best day ever." Good intentions notwithstanding, SpongeBob and Patrick thrust poor Squidward into the far more hazardous rigors of their favorite pastime. Plankton!: SpongeBob falls victim to a scheme by the evil Plankton, Mr. Krabs' minuscule arch-rival with the Napoleon complex. Plankton hides out in SpongeBob's head and takes control of his brain. SpongeBob finds he must fight his own body to prevent himself from handing over the secret Krabby Patty recipe to Plankton.
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( buzzing )
( with French accent ):
AH.
IT IS THE EARLY MORNING
IN BIKINI BOTTOM
WHEN THE JELLYFISH
ARE BUZZING ABOUT
MAKING THEIR JELLYFISH JELLY.
OH, WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?
COLLECTORS?
( chirps happily )
( loud, thrash music plays )
( music stops abruptly )
( howling in pain )
( music resumes )
( buzzing approaches )
( singing nonchalantly )
SpongeBob:
I THINK I GOT IT.
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
( electricity crackling,
Patrick yelps )
Both:
GO, GO, GO, GO!
( buzzing angrily )
Both:
OOH! OUCH! OOH-OOH!
( buzzing continues )
OOH!
OUCH!
HMM.
HEY, SQUIDWARD.
WE'RE JELLYFISHING.
( groans )
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
BYE, NOW.
WAIT!
WE MADE A NET
ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
DO YOU WANT
TO COME WITH US?
REALLY?
JELLYFISHING WITH YOU GUYS?
OH, THAT WOULD BE
THE BEST DAY EVER IN MY BOOK.
I WOULD LOVE TO
GO JELLYFISHING.
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING I'D
LOVE TO DO MORE ON MY DAY OFF
THAN GO
JELLYFISHING
WITH MY
TWO BEST FRIENDS
SPONGEBOB
AND... UH...
PATRICK.
RIGHT.
BUT I CAN'T, BYE-BYE.
NEXT TIME?
OH, SURE.
RIGHT.
WHATEVER.
( to himself ):
LIKE THAT'LL
EVER HAPPEN.
YOU KNOW, PATRICK,
IT ALWAYS SEEMS
LIKE SQUIDWARD NEVER
HAS TIME FOR FUN.
MAYBE HE DOESN'T LIKE US.
NO, ARE YOU KIDDING?
WE'RE HIS BEST FRIENDS.
( laughing nastily )
JELLYFISHING!
( laughs and snorts )
( sarcastically ):
OH, I'LL GO.
( laughs )
I SURE HAD THEM GOING.
( cackles )
( jellyfish buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( buzzing )
( gags )
STUPID JELLYFISH, BEAT IT!
WHOA!
WHOA... WHA... WHA...
OW! OOH! WHOA!
AH! OOH! AH! OOH!
( screams )
( explosion )
OW.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
SQUID'S BACK.
( phone ringing )
HELLO.
HEY, PATRICK,
SQUID'S HOME
AND WE'RE GOING
TO MAKE SURE
HE'S GREETED BY
HIS TWO BEST FRIENDS.
OH, GREAT,
WHO ARE THEY?
US.
LET'S GO.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
( noisemakers blare )
WELCOME HOME,
SQUIDWARD!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
SpongeBob:
WE'RE GOING
TO MAKE THIS
YOUR BEST DAY
EVER!
( motor revs )
WELL, YOUR BEST DAY'S
SURE NOT GOING
TO BE OUT THERE.
HOW ABOUT SOME SOUP
ON YOUR BEST DAY EVER?
HERE WE GO.
( mumbles in protest )
OH, IT'S A LITTLE HOT.
( Squidward groans in pain )
HUH!
( blows
strongly )
( moans )
( blows
strongly )
( whimpers )
( inhaling deeply )
I-I-I DON'T THINK
SOUP IS
THE BEST THING
FOR HIM
ON HIS BEST DAY
EVER.
HOW ABOUT SOME MUSIC
ON YOUR BEST DAY EVER?
PLAYED ON YOUR
VERY OWN CLARINET?
( takes a deep breath )
( reedy, squeaky blare )
SORRY, MY LIPS
ARE A LITTLE DRY.
( smacks lips together )
( clears throat,
licks lips wetly )
( licking lips wetly
and noisily )
( blows raspberry )
MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
( takes a deep breath )
MUSIC ISN'T BEST, EITHER.
BUT WHAT IS BEST
IS WHAT WE SAVED
FOR LAST--
THE ONE SURE-FIRE THING
TO MAKE YOUR BEST DAY EVER
THE BEST DAY EVER.
SpongeBob and Patrick:
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING,
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING!
THIS IS
JELLYFISH FIELDS
WHERE WILD JELLYFISH ROAM
JUST WAITING TO BE CAPTURED.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
NO, NO, SQUID, OVER HERE.
I KNOW YOU'RE EAGER
BUT YOU DON'T EVEN
HAVE YOUR NET.
PATRICK, FIX HIM UP
WHILE I FIND HIM
A GOOD SPECIMEN.
FIRMLY GRASP IT
IN YOUR HAND.
FIRMLY GRASP IT.
FIRMLY GRASP IT!
( loud crunch )
( muffled howling )
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
( jellyfish buzzing )
THERE'S ONE
IN POSITION.
READY...
SET...
GO! GO, SQUID!
YOU GOT IT!
YOU GOT IT.
GO, SQUID!
GO, SQUIDDER!
GO, GO, GO!
YES, YOU GOT IT!
GET IT, SQUIDDER!
I THINK WE
BETTER SHOW HIM
HOW IT'S DONE.
( to the tune of "On
the Beautiful Blue Danube" ):
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM... ♪
( in deeper voice ):
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM... ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM. ♪
( buzzes melody )
Both:
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM... ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-
DA-DUM-DA-DUM-DUM. ♪
( SpongeBob and Patrick yelling
in pain, jellyfish buzzing )
( jellyfish buzzing )
( electricity crackling )
( snarls )
OOH! OOH!
OW! OW! OW!
OW! OW! OW!
OOH! OOH!
HEY, LOOK,
SQUID'S DOING IT.
GO, SQUID,
GET 'EM, SQUID!
SQUIDSTER,
YOU'RE DOING IT!
Patrick:
GO SQUID!
( wheelchair motor whirring )
( wheelchair stops abruptly )
( whirring resumes )
( muffled ):
AHA!
( muffled cackling )
( whimpers )
THIS GUY'S GOOD.
HE'S A NATURAL.
SpongeBob:
YOU GOT IT!
YOU'RE
DOING GREAT!
Patrick:
GO, SQUID, GO!
KEEP DOING IT,
SQUID.
SEE WHAT YOU'VE
BEEN MISSING?
YEAH, YOU GOT IT, SQUID.
GO, SQUID, GO!
USE THAT NET.
BE THE NET.
YEAH, YOU'RE FEELING
IT, SQUID.
ALL THE WAY, TAKE
HIM ALL THE WAY.
GO, GO, GO.
YOU GOT 'EM NOW.
IT'S IN THE BAG!
THIS IS REALLY
YOUR BEST DAY
EVER, ISN'T IT?
( loud zap )
OOH.
OOH.
( both groaning and wincing )
HEY, PATRICK.
WELL...
( hesitantly ):
I THOUGHT YESTERDAY WENT
PRETTY WELL, DON'T YOU THINK?
I HAD FUN.
ME, TOO.
HERE COMES SQUIDWARD.
OH, GREAT.
( hospital bed whirring )
HEY, SQUID,
HOW ABOUT THAT...
BEST DAY EVER.
THERE'S ALWAYS
TOMORROW.
WE'RE REALLY SORRY
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
YESTERDAY, SQUIDWARD.
WE GOT YOU A PRESENT.
( buzzing )
SpongeBob:
IT'S THE JELLYFISH.
YOU KNOW,
FROM YESTERDAY.
YOU'RE NOT STILL
MAD, ARE YOU?
YEP, HE'S STILL MAD.
( jellyfish buzzing angrily )
( hollering )
( cackling )
( giant jellyfish buzzing )
( stops laughing )
( zap )
( glass shatters )
OW.
Squidward:
ONE CRABBY PATTY FOR TABLE TWO.
SPONGEBOB, I DON'T
HAVE THE WHOLE DAY!
OUI, OUI, UNE CRABBY PATTY,
MONSIEUR.
THERE'S LES PATTY.
COME ON, SPONGEBOB!
NEXT, L'INGREDIENTS.
AH-WHEE!
LES MUSTARD.
WILL YOU QUIT FOOLING AROUND?!
WHERE'S MY CRABBY PATTY?
LES HOLD ON A SECOND.
AND VOILA.
IT'S UNDER
YOUR NOSE!
( cackles )
( laughs )
YOU'RE KILLING ME, SPONGEBOB.
HA, HA!
YOU REALLY ARE.
SpongeBob:
LOOK AT IT, SQUIDWARD--
MR. KRABS' GIFT TO ALL OF BIKINI
BOTTOM-- THE CRABBY PATTY.
OKAY, GIVE IT TO ME.
COME ON, SPONGEBOB,
STOP IT!
I SWEAR, I'M NOT
DOING ANYTHING.
MR. KRABS!
THAT CRABBY PATTY
IS HAUNTED!
AVAST, YE PATTY PIRATE!
THIS IS NO GHOST.
THIS IS...
PLANKTON!
STEALIN' ME BOOTY!
HEAR ME, KRABS-- WHEN I DISCOVER
YOUR FORMULA FOR CRABBY PATTIES
I'LL RUN YOU OUT OF BUSINESS.
I WENT TO COLLEGE!
HEY!
LET ME GO!
OH, I'LL LET YOU GO,
SQUIRT...
ON A FLYING SAUCER!
( laughs maliciously )
BACK TO THE CHUM BUCKET
WITH YOU!
YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, KRABS!
UH... PLANKTON, SIR?
AYE, HE'S BEEN TRYING
TO STEAL ME SECRET
FORMULA FOR YEARS.
BUT YE HAVEN'T GOT IT
YET, HAVE YE, BUG?
( both laugh )
( stops laughing )
OKAY.
ENOUGH, LAD,
IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY.
GET BACK TO WORK!
SpongeBob:
OKAY, MR. KRABS,
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
GOOD NIGHT, ME BOY.
Plankton:
PSST...
YOUNG MAN...
YES, OVER HERE.
COME ON, BOY,
A LITTLE CLOSER.
CLOSER.
NOT THAT CLOSE!
AH!
YOU BLASTED BARNICLE HEAD!
I MEAN... HI!
PLANKTON?
OUCH!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I JUST WANT TO TALK.
YOU COULD SAY
WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT?
UM... NO.
ACQUAINTANCES.
NO.
WELL, WE'RE BOTH INVERTEBRATES,
AREN'T WE?
I... GUESS SO.
YOU SEE, EVERYTHING WORKS OUT.
I HAVE
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
I'VE BEEN KEEPING IT
IN MY SECRET COMPARTMENT.
CHING! SPARKLE, SPARKLE!
WOW! A GOLDEN SPATULA!
AND IT'S EVEN GOT MY NAME ON IT.
IT'S A GIFT.
A GIFT FROM A FRIEND.
FRIENDS GIVE EACH OTHER GIFTS.
AND TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY.
( toots )
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE
MORE THAN ANYTHING
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD?
A BOOSTER SEAT?
BOOSTER SEAT? HOT DOG!
I MEAN, NO.
WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY
FROM YOU, MY FRIEND
IS ONE OF THOSE...
TENDER... DELICIOUS...
CRABBY PATTIES.
( cries out )
YOU JUST WANT
TO BE FRIENDS
SO YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS
ON A CRABBY PATTY!
AND I BET IT'S
NOT EVEN YOUR
BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!
GEE, AND I THOUGHT
YOU WERE STUPID.
YOU'LL NEVER GET A
CRABBY PATTY FROM ME!
EVEN IF WE ARE FRIENDS!
NEVER, NEVER,
NEVER, NEVER!
OH, I'LL GET A CRABBY PATTY.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAND-DELIVER
IT TO ME PERSONALLY!
YOU WEAK-MINDED FOOL!
( dramatic film music plays )
SpongeBob:
NIGHT, GARY.
( meows )
( snoring )
( chuckles )
SPONGEBOB, YOU WILL BE MINE.
Woman:
♪ ...LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET,
A, B, C... ♪
( dramatic film music plays )
IT SHOULD BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
BUT WHERE?
WHERE?
OH.
THIS WILL BE THE BEGINNING
OF THE END.
( snoring )
OUCH!
STUPID BRAIN.
COME BACK HERE, YOU SWINE!
WHOA... OOF!
THAT'S IT, BRAIN,
YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
YES, YES, THAT'S GRAND.
AND NOW, FOR MY VERY ELABORATE
AND COLLEGE-EDUCATED PLAN.
AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR A LITTLE WAKEY-UPPY.
MORNING ALREADY?
I... I FEEL
A LITTLE FUNNY TODAY.
YEAH, YEAH!
I HAVE YOU NOW.
TIME FOR
A WELL-BALANCED BREAKFAST.
THIS ISN'T WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
LET ME JUST GRAB MY PANTS.
I GUESS I'M NOT WEARING
ANY PANTS TODAY.
OOPS! I GUESS I'M NOT
USING THE DOOR, EITHER.
SEE YOU LATER, GARY... I GUESS.
( Gary meows )
YOU'RE RIGHT, GARY, THERE IS
SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!
SQUIDWARD! SQUIDWARD!
WAKE UP! I NEED SOME HELP!
SQUIDWARD! HELP!
BE QUIET, SPONGEBOB!
HELP!
SPONGEBOB,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M TALKING TO YOU!
SPONGEBOB, SPONGEBOB!
ARE YOU MAD?
( in Plankton's voice ):
SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU MEDIOCRE
CLARINET PLAYER.
MEDIOCRE?
YOU PRETENTIOUS LITTLE
INSIGNIFICANT ARTIST.
YOUR SNIVELLY CREATIONS
ARE WORTH LESS
THAN A PROTOZOAN'S WAIST.
( in his own voice ):
SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG
WITH MY BRAIN!
( gasps )
PLANKTON!
WHAT KIND OF
FRIEND ARE YOU?
NONSENSE! YOU NEVER
LIKED ME, ANYWAY.
YOU WOULDN'T EVEN COME
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
LEAVE MY BRAIN ALONE!
( with Plankton voice ):
NEVER! NEVER!
( laughs evilly )
( sighs )
( snoring )
TOOT, TOOT!
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE TAKEOUT?
SpongeBob:
NOPE, NO, NEVER!
( Plankton laughing evilly )
YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, PLANKTON.
YOU WANT
THE CRABBY PATTY FORMULA!
Plankton:
YOU ARE GOING TO HAND-DELIVER IT
TO ME PERSONALLY.
NO, NO, NO!
THERE'S NO ONE HERE.
DON'T REMIND ME.
Plankton:
BRACE YOURSELF, SPONGEBOB.
THIS IS MY LAB!
( barks )
AND THIS IS MY LABORATORY!
AND DID I EVER SHOW YOU
MY RECORD PLAYER?
( dramatic film music plays )
I MUST FIGHT.
( mumbling nonsensically )
NO, NO, NO, NO!
( screams )
OW, OW, OW, OW!
Plankton:
THERE, YOU SEE
HOW MUCH EASIER IT IS
WHEN YOU HELP, FRIEND?
HOW DO YOU LIKE MY ANALYZER?
IT TELLS THE INGREDIENTS
OF WHATEVER I PUT INTO IT.
Analyzer:
Seaweed: 50% sea, 50% weed.
IMPRESSED?
NOW LET'S REVEAL
THAT SECRET FORMULA.
AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY
BROUGHT HOME A CRABBY PATTY.
THIS LITTLE PIGGY
WILL HELP ME DROP IT IN.
ANY LAST WORDS,
SPONGEBOB SECRETPANTS?
I... I...
I JUST HAVE TO SAY I'M SORRY
I LET MR. KRABS DOWN.
I LET ALL OF BIKINI BOTTOM DOWN.
BUT WORST OF ALL, I LET YOU DOWN
YOU DELICATE LITTLE
CRABBY PATTY.
MMM!
WITH YOUR TASTY,
JUICY, SCRUMPTIOUS
WARM, STEAMY GOODNESS.
STEAMY!
SpongeBob:
I'LL NEVER FORGET
YOUR 100% ALL-SECRET PATTY
SECRETLY ASSEMBLED
WITH UNDERSEA CHEESE
PICKLE, LETTUCE, TOMATO, ONION
ALL SECRETLY STEAMING
BETWEEN TWO FLUFFY
SEAWEED-SEED BUNS.
YES... YES... YES!
COME TO PAPA!
OH, BOY.
( electricity crackles )
( analyzer beeping )
Plankton: One percent evil,
99% hot gas.
WELL, THIS STINKS.
WELL, PATTY, I GUESS
WE CAN GO HOME NOW.
Plankton:
SPONGEBOB, THAT'S
MY CRABBY PATTY!
GIVE IT BACK, YOU POROUS FREAK!
I COMMAND YOU!
MY PATTY!
NO!!!
I'LL SETTLE FOR SOME FRIES.
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( buzzing )
( with French accent ):
AH.
IT IS THE EARLY MORNING
IN BIKINI BOTTOM
WHEN THE JELLYFISH
ARE BUZZING ABOUT
MAKING THEIR JELLYFISH JELLY.
OH, WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?
COLLECTORS?
( chirps happily )
( loud, thrash music plays )
( music stops abruptly )
( howling in pain )
( music resumes )
( buzzing approaches )
( singing nonchalantly )
SpongeBob:
I THINK I GOT IT.
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
( electricity crackling,
Patrick yelps )
Both:
GO, GO, GO, GO!
( buzzing angrily )
Both:
OOH! OUCH! OOH-OOH!
( buzzing continues )
OOH!
OUCH!
HMM.
HEY, SQUIDWARD.
WE'RE JELLYFISHING.
( groans )
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
BYE, NOW.
WAIT!
WE MADE A NET
ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
DO YOU WANT
TO COME WITH US?
REALLY?
JELLYFISHING WITH YOU GUYS?
OH, THAT WOULD BE
THE BEST DAY EVER IN MY BOOK.
I WOULD LOVE TO
GO JELLYFISHING.
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING I'D
LOVE TO DO MORE ON MY DAY OFF
THAN GO
JELLYFISHING
WITH MY
TWO BEST FRIENDS
SPONGEBOB
AND... UH...
PATRICK.
RIGHT.
BUT I CAN'T, BYE-BYE.
NEXT TIME?
OH, SURE.
RIGHT.
WHATEVER.
( to himself ):
LIKE THAT'LL
EVER HAPPEN.
YOU KNOW, PATRICK,
IT ALWAYS SEEMS
LIKE SQUIDWARD NEVER
HAS TIME FOR FUN.
MAYBE HE DOESN'T LIKE US.
NO, ARE YOU KIDDING?
WE'RE HIS BEST FRIENDS.
( laughing nastily )
JELLYFISHING!
( laughs and snorts )
( sarcastically ):
OH, I'LL GO.
( laughs )
I SURE HAD THEM GOING.
( cackles )
( jellyfish buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( buzzing )
( gags )
STUPID JELLYFISH, BEAT IT!
WHOA!
WHOA... WHA... WHA...
OW! OOH! WHOA!
AH! OOH! AH! OOH!
( screams )
( explosion )
OW.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
SQUID'S BACK.
( phone ringing )
HELLO.
HEY, PATRICK,
SQUID'S HOME
AND WE'RE GOING
TO MAKE SURE
HE'S GREETED BY
HIS TWO BEST FRIENDS.
OH, GREAT,
WHO ARE THEY?
US.
LET'S GO.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
( noisemakers blare )
WELCOME HOME,
SQUIDWARD!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
SpongeBob:
WE'RE GOING
TO MAKE THIS
YOUR BEST DAY
EVER!
( motor revs )
WELL, YOUR BEST DAY'S
SURE NOT GOING
TO BE OUT THERE.
HOW ABOUT SOME SOUP
ON YOUR BEST DAY EVER?
HERE WE GO.
( mumbles in protest )
OH, IT'S A LITTLE HOT.
( Squidward groans in pain )
HUH!
( blows
strongly )
( moans )
( blows
strongly )
( whimpers )
( inhaling deeply )
I-I-I DON'T THINK
SOUP IS
THE BEST THING
FOR HIM
ON HIS BEST DAY
EVER.
HOW ABOUT SOME MUSIC
ON YOUR BEST DAY EVER?
PLAYED ON YOUR
VERY OWN CLARINET?
( takes a deep breath )
( reedy, squeaky blare )
SORRY, MY LIPS
ARE A LITTLE DRY.
( smacks lips together )
( clears throat,
licks lips wetly )
( licking lips wetly
and noisily )
( blows raspberry )
MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
( takes a deep breath )
MUSIC ISN'T BEST, EITHER.
BUT WHAT IS BEST
IS WHAT WE SAVED
FOR LAST--
THE ONE SURE-FIRE THING
TO MAKE YOUR BEST DAY EVER
THE BEST DAY EVER.
SpongeBob and Patrick:
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING,
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING!
THIS IS
JELLYFISH FIELDS
WHERE WILD JELLYFISH ROAM
JUST WAITING TO BE CAPTURED.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
NO, NO, SQUID, OVER HERE.
I KNOW YOU'RE EAGER
BUT YOU DON'T EVEN
HAVE YOUR NET.
PATRICK, FIX HIM UP
WHILE I FIND HIM
A GOOD SPECIMEN.
FIRMLY GRASP IT
IN YOUR HAND.
FIRMLY GRASP IT.
FIRMLY GRASP IT!
( loud crunch )
( muffled howling )
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
( jellyfish buzzing )
THERE'S ONE
IN POSITION.
READY...
SET...
GO! GO, SQUID!
YOU GOT IT!
YOU GOT IT.
GO, SQUID!
GO, SQUIDDER!
GO, GO, GO!
YES, YOU GOT IT!
GET IT, SQUIDDER!
I THINK WE
BETTER SHOW HIM
HOW IT'S DONE.
( to the tune of "On
the Beautiful Blue Danube" ):
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM... ♪
( in deeper voice ):
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM... ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM. ♪
( buzzes melody )
Both:
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM... ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-
DA-DUM-DA-DUM-DUM. ♪
( SpongeBob and Patrick yelling
in pain, jellyfish buzzing )
( jellyfish buzzing )
( electricity crackling )
( snarls )
OOH! OOH!
OW! OW! OW!
OW! OW! OW!
OOH! OOH!
HEY, LOOK,
SQUID'S DOING IT.
GO, SQUID,
GET 'EM, SQUID!
SQUIDSTER,
YOU'RE DOING IT!
Patrick:
GO SQUID!
( wheelchair motor whirring )
( wheelchair stops abruptly )
( whirring resumes )
( muffled ):
AHA!
( muffled cackling )
( whimpers )
THIS GUY'S GOOD.
HE'S A NATURAL.
SpongeBob:
YOU GOT IT!
YOU'RE
DOING GREAT!
Patrick:
GO, SQUID, GO!
KEEP DOING IT,
SQUID.
SEE WHAT YOU'VE
BEEN MISSING?
YEAH, YOU GOT IT, SQUID.
GO, SQUID, GO!
USE THAT NET.
BE THE NET.
YEAH, YOU'RE FEELING
IT, SQUID.
ALL THE WAY, TAKE
HIM ALL THE WAY.
GO, GO, GO.
YOU GOT 'EM NOW.
IT'S IN THE BAG!
THIS IS REALLY
YOUR BEST DAY
EVER, ISN'T IT?
( loud zap )
OOH.
OOH.
( both groaning and wincing )
HEY, PATRICK.
WELL...
( hesitantly ):
I THOUGHT YESTERDAY WENT
PRETTY WELL, DON'T YOU THINK?
I HAD FUN.
ME, TOO.
HERE COMES SQUIDWARD.
OH, GREAT.
( hospital bed whirring )
HEY, SQUID,
HOW ABOUT THAT...
BEST DAY EVER.
THERE'S ALWAYS
TOMORROW.
WE'RE REALLY SORRY
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
YESTERDAY, SQUIDWARD.
WE GOT YOU A PRESENT.
( buzzing )
SpongeBob:
IT'S THE JELLYFISH.
YOU KNOW,
FROM YESTERDAY.
YOU'RE NOT STILL
MAD, ARE YOU?
YEP, HE'S STILL MAD.
( jellyfish buzzing angrily )
( hollering )
( cackling )
( giant jellyfish buzzing )
( stops laughing )
( zap )
( glass shatters )
OW.
Squidward:
ONE CRABBY PATTY FOR TABLE TWO.
SPONGEBOB, I DON'T
HAVE THE WHOLE DAY!
OUI, OUI, UNE CRABBY PATTY,
MONSIEUR.
THERE'S LES PATTY.
COME ON, SPONGEBOB!
NEXT, L'INGREDIENTS.
AH-WHEE!
LES MUSTARD.
WILL YOU QUIT FOOLING AROUND?!
WHERE'S MY CRABBY PATTY?
LES HOLD ON A SECOND.
AND VOILA.
IT'S UNDER
YOUR NOSE!
( cackles )
( laughs )
YOU'RE KILLING ME, SPONGEBOB.
HA, HA!
YOU REALLY ARE.
SpongeBob:
LOOK AT IT, SQUIDWARD--
MR. KRABS' GIFT TO ALL OF BIKINI
BOTTOM-- THE CRABBY PATTY.
OKAY, GIVE IT TO ME.
COME ON, SPONGEBOB,
STOP IT!
I SWEAR, I'M NOT
DOING ANYTHING.
MR. KRABS!
THAT CRABBY PATTY
IS HAUNTED!
AVAST, YE PATTY PIRATE!
THIS IS NO GHOST.
THIS IS...
PLANKTON!
STEALIN' ME BOOTY!
HEAR ME, KRABS-- WHEN I DISCOVER
YOUR FORMULA FOR CRABBY PATTIES
I'LL RUN YOU OUT OF BUSINESS.
I WENT TO COLLEGE!
HEY!
LET ME GO!
OH, I'LL LET YOU GO,
SQUIRT...
ON A FLYING SAUCER!
( laughs maliciously )
BACK TO THE CHUM BUCKET
WITH YOU!
YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, KRABS!
UH... PLANKTON, SIR?
AYE, HE'S BEEN TRYING
TO STEAL ME SECRET
FORMULA FOR YEARS.
BUT YE HAVEN'T GOT IT
YET, HAVE YE, BUG?
( both laugh )
( stops laughing )
OKAY.
ENOUGH, LAD,
IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY.
GET BACK TO WORK!
SpongeBob:
OKAY, MR. KRABS,
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
GOOD NIGHT, ME BOY.
Plankton:
PSST...
YOUNG MAN...
YES, OVER HERE.
COME ON, BOY,
A LITTLE CLOSER.
CLOSER.
NOT THAT CLOSE!
AH!
YOU BLASTED BARNICLE HEAD!
I MEAN... HI!
PLANKTON?
OUCH!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I JUST WANT TO TALK.
YOU COULD SAY
WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT?
UM... NO.
ACQUAINTANCES.
NO.
WELL, WE'RE BOTH INVERTEBRATES,
AREN'T WE?
I... GUESS SO.
YOU SEE, EVERYTHING WORKS OUT.
I HAVE
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
I'VE BEEN KEEPING IT
IN MY SECRET COMPARTMENT.
CHING! SPARKLE, SPARKLE!
WOW! A GOLDEN SPATULA!
AND IT'S EVEN GOT MY NAME ON IT.
IT'S A GIFT.
A GIFT FROM A FRIEND.
FRIENDS GIVE EACH OTHER GIFTS.
AND TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY.
( toots )
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE
MORE THAN ANYTHING
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD?
A BOOSTER SEAT?
BOOSTER SEAT? HOT DOG!
I MEAN, NO.
WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY
FROM YOU, MY FRIEND
IS ONE OF THOSE...
TENDER... DELICIOUS...
CRABBY PATTIES.
( cries out )
YOU JUST WANT
TO BE FRIENDS
SO YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS
ON A CRABBY PATTY!
AND I BET IT'S
NOT EVEN YOUR
BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!
GEE, AND I THOUGHT
YOU WERE STUPID.
YOU'LL NEVER GET A
CRABBY PATTY FROM ME!
EVEN IF WE ARE FRIENDS!
NEVER, NEVER,
NEVER, NEVER!
OH, I'LL GET A CRABBY PATTY.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAND-DELIVER
IT TO ME PERSONALLY!
YOU WEAK-MINDED FOOL!
( dramatic film music plays )
SpongeBob:
NIGHT, GARY.
( meows )
( snoring )
( chuckles )
SPONGEBOB, YOU WILL BE MINE.
Woman:
♪ ...LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET,
A, B, C... ♪
( dramatic film music plays )
IT SHOULD BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
BUT WHERE?
WHERE?
OH.
THIS WILL BE THE BEGINNING
OF THE END.
( snoring )
OUCH!
STUPID BRAIN.
COME BACK HERE, YOU SWINE!
WHOA... OOF!
THAT'S IT, BRAIN,
YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
YES, YES, THAT'S GRAND.
AND NOW, FOR MY VERY ELABORATE
AND COLLEGE-EDUCATED PLAN.
AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR A LITTLE WAKEY-UPPY.
MORNING ALREADY?
I... I FEEL
A LITTLE FUNNY TODAY.
YEAH, YEAH!
I HAVE YOU NOW.
TIME FOR
A WELL-BALANCED BREAKFAST.
THIS ISN'T WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
LET ME JUST GRAB MY PANTS.
I GUESS I'M NOT WEARING
ANY PANTS TODAY.
OOPS! I GUESS I'M NOT
USING THE DOOR, EITHER.
SEE YOU LATER, GARY... I GUESS.
( Gary meows )
YOU'RE RIGHT, GARY, THERE IS
SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!
SQUIDWARD! SQUIDWARD!
WAKE UP! I NEED SOME HELP!
SQUIDWARD! HELP!
BE QUIET, SPONGEBOB!
HELP!
SPONGEBOB,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M TALKING TO YOU!
SPONGEBOB, SPONGEBOB!
ARE YOU MAD?
( in Plankton's voice ):
SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU MEDIOCRE
CLARINET PLAYER.
MEDIOCRE?
YOU PRETENTIOUS LITTLE
INSIGNIFICANT ARTIST.
YOUR SNIVELLY CREATIONS
ARE WORTH LESS
THAN A PROTOZOAN'S WAIST.
( in his own voice ):
SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG
WITH MY BRAIN!
( gasps )
PLANKTON!
WHAT KIND OF
FRIEND ARE YOU?
NONSENSE! YOU NEVER
LIKED ME, ANYWAY.
YOU WOULDN'T EVEN COME
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
LEAVE MY BRAIN ALONE!
( with Plankton voice ):
NEVER! NEVER!
( laughs evilly )
( sighs )
( snoring )
TOOT, TOOT!
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE TAKEOUT?
SpongeBob:
NOPE, NO, NEVER!
( Plankton laughing evilly )
YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, PLANKTON.
YOU WANT
THE CRABBY PATTY FORMULA!
Plankton:
YOU ARE GOING TO HAND-DELIVER IT
TO ME PERSONALLY.
NO, NO, NO!
THERE'S NO ONE HERE.
DON'T REMIND ME.
Plankton:
BRACE YOURSELF, SPONGEBOB.
THIS IS MY LAB!
( barks )
AND THIS IS MY LABORATORY!
AND DID I EVER SHOW YOU
MY RECORD PLAYER?
( dramatic film music plays )
I MUST FIGHT.
( mumbling nonsensically )
NO, NO, NO, NO!
( screams )
OW, OW, OW, OW!
Plankton:
THERE, YOU SEE
HOW MUCH EASIER IT IS
WHEN YOU HELP, FRIEND?
HOW DO YOU LIKE MY ANALYZER?
IT TELLS THE INGREDIENTS
OF WHATEVER I PUT INTO IT.
Analyzer:
Seaweed: 50% sea, 50% weed.
IMPRESSED?
NOW LET'S REVEAL
THAT SECRET FORMULA.
AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY
BROUGHT HOME A CRABBY PATTY.
THIS LITTLE PIGGY
WILL HELP ME DROP IT IN.
ANY LAST WORDS,
SPONGEBOB SECRETPANTS?
I... I...
I JUST HAVE TO SAY I'M SORRY
I LET MR. KRABS DOWN.
I LET ALL OF BIKINI BOTTOM DOWN.
BUT WORST OF ALL, I LET YOU DOWN
YOU DELICATE LITTLE
CRABBY PATTY.
MMM!
WITH YOUR TASTY,
JUICY, SCRUMPTIOUS
WARM, STEAMY GOODNESS.
STEAMY!
SpongeBob:
I'LL NEVER FORGET
YOUR 100% ALL-SECRET PATTY
SECRETLY ASSEMBLED
WITH UNDERSEA CHEESE
PICKLE, LETTUCE, TOMATO, ONION
ALL SECRETLY STEAMING
BETWEEN TWO FLUFFY
SEAWEED-SEED BUNS.
YES... YES... YES!
COME TO PAPA!
OH, BOY.
( electricity crackles )
( analyzer beeping )
Plankton: One percent evil,
99% hot gas.
WELL, THIS STINKS.
WELL, PATTY, I GUESS
WE CAN GO HOME NOW.
Plankton:
SPONGEBOB, THAT'S
MY CRABBY PATTY!
GIVE IT BACK, YOU POROUS FREAK!
I COMMAND YOU!
MY PATTY!
NO!!!
I'LL SETTLE FOR SOME FRIES.
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]