South Park (1997–…): Season 10, Episode 12 - Go God Go - full transcript
Cartman tries to cryogenically freeze himself so that he doesn't have to wait for the new Nintendo machine, and Ms. Garrison falls for the new Evolution teacher and becomes an Atheist.
Come ohhhn! Come ohhhn!
Oh, for the love of God,
how much longer?!
There you are, Eric.
What are you doing here?
I'm waiting for the new
Nintendo Wii to come out.
When does it come out?
Three weeks.
Come ohhhn! C-Come ohhhn!
It's time for school.
No Mom, you don't understand!
I've been waiting for this
thing to come out for months.
And now, every day
time is slowing down.
It's like... waiting for
Christmas... times a thousand.
Eric, you're just going
to have to be patient.
Noo!! Nooo!!
Principal Victoria, it is wrong!
It is wrong and I simply will not do it!
I care about my students, and I
will not fill their heads with lies!
I am NOT teaching
evolution in my class!!
Mrs. Garrison, evolution
is in the school curriculum.
We have to teach it.
Evolution is a theory! A hare-breained
theory that says I'm a monkey!
I am not a monkey!! I'm a woman!
M, m'kay. Ya-you realize evolution
has been pretty much uhhh... proven.
I warn you, Principal Victoria!
Those students are not
prepared to hear this stuff!
Our students want to
learn, Mrs. Garrison,
and they're mature
enough to handle anything.
How long until Nintendo
Wii comes out now?!
It's still three weeks.
Oh God...
Okay, how long now?
Will you shut up already?!
All right kids, it is now my job to
teach you the theory of evolution.
Oh boy!
Now I, for one, think evolution
is a bunch of BULLCRAP.
But I've been told I
have to teach it anyway.
It was thought up by Charles Darwin
and it goes something like this:
In the beginning we were all fish. Okay?
Swimming around in the water.
And then one day a couple
of fish had a retard baby,
and the retard baby was
different, so it got to live.
So Retard Fish goes on to make more
retard babies, and then one day,
a retard baby fish crawled out of the
ocean with its mutant fish hands...
and it had buttsex with a squirrel
or something and made this.
retard frog squirrel, and then that
had a retard baby which was a...
monkey fish-frog...
And then this monkey fish-frog
had buttsex with that monkey, and..
that monkey had a mutant retard baby
that screwed another monkey and...
that made you!
So there you go!
You're the retarded offspring of five
monkeys havin' buttsex with a fish-squirrel!
Congratulations!
HEHHH! I can't take it anymore! HAAAAAH!
Yeah? You see? I knew that would happen.
Come ohhhn! C-Come ohhhn!
Look, kid, for the fortieth time,
pacing in front of the store isn't
gonna make the Wii come any faster.
Eric, you're coming home right now!
Can't I just stay and... look
at the sign a little longer?
It's almost bedtime. If you
sleep then time'll go by faster.
Oh God!
Agh! That does it!! I am
not waiting three weeks!!
You guys! You guys!
You guys, you gotta help me.
Dude you don't look so good, Cartman.
I can't take it anymore, you guys.
The wait for Nintendo Wii
is literally killing me.
Well there's nothing you can do,
so you just have to be patient.
No. There is something I can do.
(What?)
All right, listen: you
know how in space movies
they put astronauts in suspender animation
so that their trip seems really short, right?
I think I figured out how to do it.
Do what?
Freeze myself.
If I freeze myself, then in three weeks,
when Nintendo Wii comes out,
you guys can unfreeze me.
The wait will seem instantaneous to me.
No.
It's simple science, Kyle.
You'll die, retard!
I'll die waiting for
the Wii to come out!!
Don't you see this is my only chance!!
Dude, no way.
Yeah, I hate you, but I'm
not going to help kill you.
I thought you were my
friends! I guess I was wrong!
After everthing we've
been through together,
you guys won't even
help me freeze myself!
Principal Victoria, we are
a devout Catholic family!
Do you mind telling me why my daughter
now thinks she's a retarded fish-frog?!
I told you this would happen, didn't I?!
Mr. Triscotti, I wasn't aware that-
We have worked years to instill the
teachings of Jesus Christ into our daughter,
and in one fell swoop, you try
to destroy everything we did!
I hear ya.
Sir, if you don't wish your
daughter to learn about evolution,
then we can pull her out of class.
You most certainly will!
But Dad, I want to learn everything.
No you don't! Shut up!
Well, I told you. We should leave
evolution out of the classrooms.
It has become obvious to me
that you don't know enough
about evolution to teach it! I'm
having you replaced! Mr. Dawkins!
Re-replaced??
Richard Dawkins is a world-renowned
evolutionary scientist.
Charmed to meet you. Ms...
Shut up, faggot! Principal
Victoria, I can teach my own class!
You are to sit in class and help
Mr. Dawkins with whatever he needs!
Over billions of years life has
evolved from simple one-celled organisms
into all the complex
life we see around us.
Whatever.
It was changes in hereditary traits
that allowed the first
mammals to breath in the air.
Retarded fish-frogs.
Ms. Garrision, I believe that's
a gross over-simplification.
Well, you're a faggot!
Continue.
You see, children, life has the
amazing ability to change, to adapt.
Like changing us to the
point that we walk upright.
So you are saying that
we're all related to monkeys.
Well yes, basically, we are.
Do you see monkeys at the zoo?!
They crap in their hands
and throw it at people!
Ms. Garrison, this isn't
theory, it is scientific fact!
What about the fact that
if I believe in this crap,
you're gonna go to hell?!
Doesn't that bother you a little?
Actually, no. Because I'm an atheist.
AHA! I've got you, you snake
in the grass!! I found you out!!
I never covered it up.
And if I'm a monkey, then I might
as well act like a monkey, huh?!
What on earth are you doing??
Don't ask me, I'm a fuckin' monkey!!
AAAH!
Principal Victoria, I was simply
trying to make a point to Mr. Dawkins
about the incongruity of
some scientific statements.
Mrs. Garrison, I am pulling
you out of the classroom.
What??
Principal Victoria, I really
don't think that's necessary.
This woman is very opinionated but,
she does care about her students.
Very well. But there is to be no
more throwing of feces. Understood??
Ms. Garrison. Ms. Garrison, could
I have a word with you, please?
What?!
Look, I know you think we're at war,
but I want you to know
I admire your passion.
You d-you do?
I've never met a woman
with so much... fire
Well I... I do bring down a
woman's wrath now and again.
So much boldness in
a woman. So beautiful.
I'm sorry, I'm sure you
have a husband, but I-
No! N-no! My, my
husband is g-gone, dead.
Would you then... consider
having dinner with me tonight?
Well, well, I suppose we could
have a little steak or something.
I've got a date! I've got a date!
My first real date with a real
man since my sex-change operation!
Oh boy, what'll I wear?!
Hey everybody!
Close the door, I'm trying to freeze!
Eric, get out of there.
No! No, it's too soon!
Now Eric, this has gone far enough!
You need to learn to be patient!
Butters, get your coat. We gotta go.
Go where?
You're gonna help me freeze myself.
Okay.
Well, how come we've gotta
come all the way out here?
Butters, if anyone else
comes upon my frozen body,
they'll try to unfreeze me right away.
I have to be hidden.
That's good.
And no matter what happens, Butters,
you are not to unfreeze me until the day
the Nintendo Wii comes out. Do you got it?!
Eric, are are you sure
this is a good idea?
No, it's not a good
idea. It's an awesome idea
Yeah...I guess it is...
All right, you got the spot figured out?
You're not gonna lose where I am, right?
I got it. Big Tree. Oval Rock.
All right, now get out of here.
You can't freeze too, or
else we're both screwed.
Get out of here, you asshole!
You're gonna ruin everything!
Oh jeez!
Yes. Come on. Freeeze. Freeeze.
So I told my gynecologist,
you put so many things in my
vagina, maybe I should charge you!
Oh, Ms. Garrison, you are the most
outspoken woman I have ever met!
It's almost like you're one of the guys.
Hehyeah, almost.
You have so much spunk, so much life...
If only you were an atheist.
Well... Well, you know,
I'm... I'm open to stuff.
Why is someone as outspoken as you given
themselves over to the whole God thing?
Oh I'm not... I'm not totally
into the whole God thing. I just...
I just think, you know,
you can't disprove God.
Well what if I told you there
was a flying spaghetti monster:
Would you believe it simply
because it can't be disproven?
You're riiight. It's so simple!
God is a spaghetti monster.
Oh thank you, jeez! My eyes are opened!
Hey everyone, I'm an atheist!
Really?? Oh that's wonderful!
No, I totally get it now!
Evolution explains everything!
There is no great mystery to life,
just evolution and God's
a spaghetti monster!
Thank you, Richard!
You're so welcome!
Would you like tuh...
head over to my place for dessert?
Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm a monkey!
Give this monkey what she wants!
Oh Ms. Garrison!
Yeah, pound my monkey hole, Richard!
Yeah, I'm a monkey all right!
Nin-ten-do. I'm coming.
I'm coming, Nin-ten-do.
We have a pulse.
Can you... understand me?
Where am I?
My name is Shvek. You are safe.
Safe where, butthole?!
My friend, this is going to
be a bit of a shock, but..
it is the year 2546.
What??
You have been frozen in
ice for over 500 years.
Butters? Butters, you black asshole?!
Please be careful. You are frail.
Is the Wii out? Where's the Wii?
Ahh, Nintendo Wii. A primitive
gaming device used in his time.
Primitive? It has motion-control
controllers, asswipe!
Young man, you don't seem to understand.
Your family, your
friends, everyone you knew,
has been dead for over 500 years.
I don't care! Is there a Nintendo Wii!
We don't play videogames in our time.
There's no such thing as a Nintendo Wii.
No...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
You must understand, children,
that we are dealing with
VERY large numbers here.
That's my man.
So, evolution doesn't
even happen by chance.
It is, in fact, bound to happen.
That's right, kids. And so
you see, there is no God.
Careful darling. The school
board doesn't like it when we-
Well there could still be a god.
What?!
Couldn't evolution be the answer
to how and not the answer to why?
Uh oh, retard alert!
Retard alert, class!
Do you believe in a flying
spaghetti monster too, bubblehead?!
I wasn't talking about spaghetti.
Come on, you. You're gonna
have to sit in the dunce chair!
Ms. Garrison, I'm not so sure what
you did in class today was right.
What??
But Dick, you told me the world would
be a better place without religion.
Yes, but to be so bold about it..
I've just never seen a
woman with such... balls.
You've just been too soft on
religious people in the past.
Think about it, Richard.
With your intellect and my balls, we
can change the future of the world.
Can you imagine a
world with no religion?
No Muslims killing Jews, no
Christians bombing abortion clinics.
The world would be a
wonderful place... without God.
You're the smartest man on earth, Dick.
With me by your side,
there's no stopping you.
Oh, just let me see those
beautiful breasts again.
Oh, all right.
Oh yeah, baby! Oh-hm.
OHOH YEAH!! AHHH!!
Quick, General Disarray!
Kill those superheroes!
Pehpew Pehpew!
Yes! Now the world shall feel the
wrath of Professor Chaos! Hahaha!
Butters?
Butters, you haven't seen Eric
Cartman in the past few days, have you?
Who, me?
It's very importance,
Butters. He's missing.
You haven't seen or heard from him?
No ma'am.
Okay.
Come on, Professor Chaos!s
Let's destroy this anthill!
Geh-General Disarray, can I
ask you a scientific question?
Okay.
Well, um, can...
Can anything bad happen if
you completely freeze yourself
and then unfreeze
yourself three weeks later?
- ...Yeah.
- Well, like what?
..Like, you die.
...Die??
Well yeah. If you freeze
your body, it means you die.
When you wake up three weeks later you
can be unfrozen, but you're still dead.
Oh hamburgers!!
Eric! Erihic!
You just left him here?!
Without a jacket or anything?!
He told me to!
He's dead for sure.
Wait!
It's all different.
Nothing's in the same place!
Oh my God...
Uh, eh, Eric! Eric!
Butters ButterButterBUTTERS!
We have to get out of here!
What??
Nobody is ever going to find his body.
You've got to never say anything
about this, do you understand?!
He's dead, and if they know you
had a hand in it, you'll go to jail!
But I just did what he told me!
Come on, we have to leave!!
Oh jumping Jesus!
This is terrible. Five
hundred years in the future.
Eric, I have good news for you.
We may have found you a Nintendo Wii.
What??
Really??
YES!! YES!!
It's rumored that there's one at
the Museum of Technology
at New New Hampshire.
So I'm not too late! Come on, let's go!
Well, there's just...
th-there's something
we need from you first.
You see, my young friend, you
were unfrozen for a reason.
Lots of people froze
themselves in cryogenic labs
and we don't unfreeze them.
But you... are special.
I know I'm special.
This isn't news to me.
You lived in a time when
a great event happened.
A glorious event that finally
made all religion obsolete.
Now, the entire world is atheist.
And this gives me a Nintendo Wii how?
We believe that somebody
you knew in your time
was the person who first
started our wonderful group:
The Unified Atheist League.
Who?
What in Science's name was that?!
Oh no! It's the United Atheist Alliance!
Oh Science, help us!
Science damn you,
Unified Atheist League!
Who are they??
The Alliance Atheists.
We're at war with them.
No!
Jesus Christ!
Hahahaha, you believe
in a supernatural being.
Oh my Science.
I'm just a little boy from the
past who wants to play Nintendo Wii.
Put me through to the
Allied Atheist Allegiance!
Onscreen.
Look, Allied Atheist Allegiance!
We have the time child!
Science damn you, United Atheist Alliance!
Now you see, foolish sea otters,
that we are the atheists in control!
It won't make a difference!
This is the dawning of the sea
otter! Know this, time child!
I shall smash your skull
like a clam on my tummy!
What??
Otters! The time has
come! Sound the nafferty!
The nafferty!
So, it begins!
A suivre ...
Oh, for the love of God,
how much longer?!
There you are, Eric.
What are you doing here?
I'm waiting for the new
Nintendo Wii to come out.
When does it come out?
Three weeks.
Come ohhhn! C-Come ohhhn!
It's time for school.
No Mom, you don't understand!
I've been waiting for this
thing to come out for months.
And now, every day
time is slowing down.
It's like... waiting for
Christmas... times a thousand.
Eric, you're just going
to have to be patient.
Noo!! Nooo!!
Principal Victoria, it is wrong!
It is wrong and I simply will not do it!
I care about my students, and I
will not fill their heads with lies!
I am NOT teaching
evolution in my class!!
Mrs. Garrison, evolution
is in the school curriculum.
We have to teach it.
Evolution is a theory! A hare-breained
theory that says I'm a monkey!
I am not a monkey!! I'm a woman!
M, m'kay. Ya-you realize evolution
has been pretty much uhhh... proven.
I warn you, Principal Victoria!
Those students are not
prepared to hear this stuff!
Our students want to
learn, Mrs. Garrison,
and they're mature
enough to handle anything.
How long until Nintendo
Wii comes out now?!
It's still three weeks.
Oh God...
Okay, how long now?
Will you shut up already?!
All right kids, it is now my job to
teach you the theory of evolution.
Oh boy!
Now I, for one, think evolution
is a bunch of BULLCRAP.
But I've been told I
have to teach it anyway.
It was thought up by Charles Darwin
and it goes something like this:
In the beginning we were all fish. Okay?
Swimming around in the water.
And then one day a couple
of fish had a retard baby,
and the retard baby was
different, so it got to live.
So Retard Fish goes on to make more
retard babies, and then one day,
a retard baby fish crawled out of the
ocean with its mutant fish hands...
and it had buttsex with a squirrel
or something and made this.
retard frog squirrel, and then that
had a retard baby which was a...
monkey fish-frog...
And then this monkey fish-frog
had buttsex with that monkey, and..
that monkey had a mutant retard baby
that screwed another monkey and...
that made you!
So there you go!
You're the retarded offspring of five
monkeys havin' buttsex with a fish-squirrel!
Congratulations!
HEHHH! I can't take it anymore! HAAAAAH!
Yeah? You see? I knew that would happen.
Come ohhhn! C-Come ohhhn!
Look, kid, for the fortieth time,
pacing in front of the store isn't
gonna make the Wii come any faster.
Eric, you're coming home right now!
Can't I just stay and... look
at the sign a little longer?
It's almost bedtime. If you
sleep then time'll go by faster.
Oh God!
Agh! That does it!! I am
not waiting three weeks!!
You guys! You guys!
You guys, you gotta help me.
Dude you don't look so good, Cartman.
I can't take it anymore, you guys.
The wait for Nintendo Wii
is literally killing me.
Well there's nothing you can do,
so you just have to be patient.
No. There is something I can do.
(What?)
All right, listen: you
know how in space movies
they put astronauts in suspender animation
so that their trip seems really short, right?
I think I figured out how to do it.
Do what?
Freeze myself.
If I freeze myself, then in three weeks,
when Nintendo Wii comes out,
you guys can unfreeze me.
The wait will seem instantaneous to me.
No.
It's simple science, Kyle.
You'll die, retard!
I'll die waiting for
the Wii to come out!!
Don't you see this is my only chance!!
Dude, no way.
Yeah, I hate you, but I'm
not going to help kill you.
I thought you were my
friends! I guess I was wrong!
After everthing we've
been through together,
you guys won't even
help me freeze myself!
Principal Victoria, we are
a devout Catholic family!
Do you mind telling me why my daughter
now thinks she's a retarded fish-frog?!
I told you this would happen, didn't I?!
Mr. Triscotti, I wasn't aware that-
We have worked years to instill the
teachings of Jesus Christ into our daughter,
and in one fell swoop, you try
to destroy everything we did!
I hear ya.
Sir, if you don't wish your
daughter to learn about evolution,
then we can pull her out of class.
You most certainly will!
But Dad, I want to learn everything.
No you don't! Shut up!
Well, I told you. We should leave
evolution out of the classrooms.
It has become obvious to me
that you don't know enough
about evolution to teach it! I'm
having you replaced! Mr. Dawkins!
Re-replaced??
Richard Dawkins is a world-renowned
evolutionary scientist.
Charmed to meet you. Ms...
Shut up, faggot! Principal
Victoria, I can teach my own class!
You are to sit in class and help
Mr. Dawkins with whatever he needs!
Over billions of years life has
evolved from simple one-celled organisms
into all the complex
life we see around us.
Whatever.
It was changes in hereditary traits
that allowed the first
mammals to breath in the air.
Retarded fish-frogs.
Ms. Garrision, I believe that's
a gross over-simplification.
Well, you're a faggot!
Continue.
You see, children, life has the
amazing ability to change, to adapt.
Like changing us to the
point that we walk upright.
So you are saying that
we're all related to monkeys.
Well yes, basically, we are.
Do you see monkeys at the zoo?!
They crap in their hands
and throw it at people!
Ms. Garrison, this isn't
theory, it is scientific fact!
What about the fact that
if I believe in this crap,
you're gonna go to hell?!
Doesn't that bother you a little?
Actually, no. Because I'm an atheist.
AHA! I've got you, you snake
in the grass!! I found you out!!
I never covered it up.
And if I'm a monkey, then I might
as well act like a monkey, huh?!
What on earth are you doing??
Don't ask me, I'm a fuckin' monkey!!
AAAH!
Principal Victoria, I was simply
trying to make a point to Mr. Dawkins
about the incongruity of
some scientific statements.
Mrs. Garrison, I am pulling
you out of the classroom.
What??
Principal Victoria, I really
don't think that's necessary.
This woman is very opinionated but,
she does care about her students.
Very well. But there is to be no
more throwing of feces. Understood??
Ms. Garrison. Ms. Garrison, could
I have a word with you, please?
What?!
Look, I know you think we're at war,
but I want you to know
I admire your passion.
You d-you do?
I've never met a woman
with so much... fire
Well I... I do bring down a
woman's wrath now and again.
So much boldness in
a woman. So beautiful.
I'm sorry, I'm sure you
have a husband, but I-
No! N-no! My, my
husband is g-gone, dead.
Would you then... consider
having dinner with me tonight?
Well, well, I suppose we could
have a little steak or something.
I've got a date! I've got a date!
My first real date with a real
man since my sex-change operation!
Oh boy, what'll I wear?!
Hey everybody!
Close the door, I'm trying to freeze!
Eric, get out of there.
No! No, it's too soon!
Now Eric, this has gone far enough!
You need to learn to be patient!
Butters, get your coat. We gotta go.
Go where?
You're gonna help me freeze myself.
Okay.
Well, how come we've gotta
come all the way out here?
Butters, if anyone else
comes upon my frozen body,
they'll try to unfreeze me right away.
I have to be hidden.
That's good.
And no matter what happens, Butters,
you are not to unfreeze me until the day
the Nintendo Wii comes out. Do you got it?!
Eric, are are you sure
this is a good idea?
No, it's not a good
idea. It's an awesome idea
Yeah...I guess it is...
All right, you got the spot figured out?
You're not gonna lose where I am, right?
I got it. Big Tree. Oval Rock.
All right, now get out of here.
You can't freeze too, or
else we're both screwed.
Get out of here, you asshole!
You're gonna ruin everything!
Oh jeez!
Yes. Come on. Freeeze. Freeeze.
So I told my gynecologist,
you put so many things in my
vagina, maybe I should charge you!
Oh, Ms. Garrison, you are the most
outspoken woman I have ever met!
It's almost like you're one of the guys.
Hehyeah, almost.
You have so much spunk, so much life...
If only you were an atheist.
Well... Well, you know,
I'm... I'm open to stuff.
Why is someone as outspoken as you given
themselves over to the whole God thing?
Oh I'm not... I'm not totally
into the whole God thing. I just...
I just think, you know,
you can't disprove God.
Well what if I told you there
was a flying spaghetti monster:
Would you believe it simply
because it can't be disproven?
You're riiight. It's so simple!
God is a spaghetti monster.
Oh thank you, jeez! My eyes are opened!
Hey everyone, I'm an atheist!
Really?? Oh that's wonderful!
No, I totally get it now!
Evolution explains everything!
There is no great mystery to life,
just evolution and God's
a spaghetti monster!
Thank you, Richard!
You're so welcome!
Would you like tuh...
head over to my place for dessert?
Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm a monkey!
Give this monkey what she wants!
Oh Ms. Garrison!
Yeah, pound my monkey hole, Richard!
Yeah, I'm a monkey all right!
Nin-ten-do. I'm coming.
I'm coming, Nin-ten-do.
We have a pulse.
Can you... understand me?
Where am I?
My name is Shvek. You are safe.
Safe where, butthole?!
My friend, this is going to
be a bit of a shock, but..
it is the year 2546.
What??
You have been frozen in
ice for over 500 years.
Butters? Butters, you black asshole?!
Please be careful. You are frail.
Is the Wii out? Where's the Wii?
Ahh, Nintendo Wii. A primitive
gaming device used in his time.
Primitive? It has motion-control
controllers, asswipe!
Young man, you don't seem to understand.
Your family, your
friends, everyone you knew,
has been dead for over 500 years.
I don't care! Is there a Nintendo Wii!
We don't play videogames in our time.
There's no such thing as a Nintendo Wii.
No...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
You must understand, children,
that we are dealing with
VERY large numbers here.
That's my man.
So, evolution doesn't
even happen by chance.
It is, in fact, bound to happen.
That's right, kids. And so
you see, there is no God.
Careful darling. The school
board doesn't like it when we-
Well there could still be a god.
What?!
Couldn't evolution be the answer
to how and not the answer to why?
Uh oh, retard alert!
Retard alert, class!
Do you believe in a flying
spaghetti monster too, bubblehead?!
I wasn't talking about spaghetti.
Come on, you. You're gonna
have to sit in the dunce chair!
Ms. Garrison, I'm not so sure what
you did in class today was right.
What??
But Dick, you told me the world would
be a better place without religion.
Yes, but to be so bold about it..
I've just never seen a
woman with such... balls.
You've just been too soft on
religious people in the past.
Think about it, Richard.
With your intellect and my balls, we
can change the future of the world.
Can you imagine a
world with no religion?
No Muslims killing Jews, no
Christians bombing abortion clinics.
The world would be a
wonderful place... without God.
You're the smartest man on earth, Dick.
With me by your side,
there's no stopping you.
Oh, just let me see those
beautiful breasts again.
Oh, all right.
Oh yeah, baby! Oh-hm.
OHOH YEAH!! AHHH!!
Quick, General Disarray!
Kill those superheroes!
Pehpew Pehpew!
Yes! Now the world shall feel the
wrath of Professor Chaos! Hahaha!
Butters?
Butters, you haven't seen Eric
Cartman in the past few days, have you?
Who, me?
It's very importance,
Butters. He's missing.
You haven't seen or heard from him?
No ma'am.
Okay.
Come on, Professor Chaos!s
Let's destroy this anthill!
Geh-General Disarray, can I
ask you a scientific question?
Okay.
Well, um, can...
Can anything bad happen if
you completely freeze yourself
and then unfreeze
yourself three weeks later?
- ...Yeah.
- Well, like what?
..Like, you die.
...Die??
Well yeah. If you freeze
your body, it means you die.
When you wake up three weeks later you
can be unfrozen, but you're still dead.
Oh hamburgers!!
Eric! Erihic!
You just left him here?!
Without a jacket or anything?!
He told me to!
He's dead for sure.
Wait!
It's all different.
Nothing's in the same place!
Oh my God...
Uh, eh, Eric! Eric!
Butters ButterButterBUTTERS!
We have to get out of here!
What??
Nobody is ever going to find his body.
You've got to never say anything
about this, do you understand?!
He's dead, and if they know you
had a hand in it, you'll go to jail!
But I just did what he told me!
Come on, we have to leave!!
Oh jumping Jesus!
This is terrible. Five
hundred years in the future.
Eric, I have good news for you.
We may have found you a Nintendo Wii.
What??
Really??
YES!! YES!!
It's rumored that there's one at
the Museum of Technology
at New New Hampshire.
So I'm not too late! Come on, let's go!
Well, there's just...
th-there's something
we need from you first.
You see, my young friend, you
were unfrozen for a reason.
Lots of people froze
themselves in cryogenic labs
and we don't unfreeze them.
But you... are special.
I know I'm special.
This isn't news to me.
You lived in a time when
a great event happened.
A glorious event that finally
made all religion obsolete.
Now, the entire world is atheist.
And this gives me a Nintendo Wii how?
We believe that somebody
you knew in your time
was the person who first
started our wonderful group:
The Unified Atheist League.
Who?
What in Science's name was that?!
Oh no! It's the United Atheist Alliance!
Oh Science, help us!
Science damn you,
Unified Atheist League!
Who are they??
The Alliance Atheists.
We're at war with them.
No!
Jesus Christ!
Hahahaha, you believe
in a supernatural being.
Oh my Science.
I'm just a little boy from the
past who wants to play Nintendo Wii.
Put me through to the
Allied Atheist Allegiance!
Onscreen.
Look, Allied Atheist Allegiance!
We have the time child!
Science damn you, United Atheist Alliance!
Now you see, foolish sea otters,
that we are the atheists in control!
It won't make a difference!
This is the dawning of the sea
otter! Know this, time child!
I shall smash your skull
like a clam on my tummy!
What??
Otters! The time has
come! Sound the nafferty!
The nafferty!
So, it begins!
A suivre ...