Solsidan (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Förlossning - full transcript

God, it's nice to have a bath.
Just disconnect from everything.

Knackelibang!
-Hey, Ove...

Hey, Alex!
-What are you doing here? I'm having a bath.

I see. Can I get in?
-Not a chance!

If there's room for one,
there's room for two.

What the hell are you doing?
This is my bathtub!

Stop it, Ove! Stop!
Damn it, Ove!

Stop it, Ove.
-Alex! The water!

The water!

My water broke!
-What?

It's all wet!
-But it's too early!



It's coming out now!

It's three weeks early!
-Tell that to the baby!

The bathroom! The Poles are coming
to tear out the bathroom today.

Then I'll have to hold it in for three weeks.
-Can you do that?

It still needs to be washed.
-Yes, but not renovated.

You know what this is?
-Yes, it's a fender.

It can be used as a backrest,

but also on the boat when mooring,
so you don't get scratches.

Well then you might be able to use
a plastic spatula in the teflon pan.

If I could barbecue
I wouldn't need a frying pan.

There's a difference between a
3 million kroner boat and a frying pan.

Hey, it's Alex!
The kid's coming now.

Where's the taxi, Alex?
-It's coming.

What did you say? Yes, it's really exciting.
But it's a mess here now.



The Poles are coming here today
to tear out the bathroom.

Tear out what? I don't understand,
the connection is terrible.

The bathroom.
-Are you going to tear it down?

No, sell it as vintage at Bukowski's.
-Where's the water bottle?

Of course we're going to tear it down, why not?
-I don't know, you do what you want.

Can you show them where it is,
since we have to go now?

All right? Great!

You're the best, mate.

What the fuck! I'm out of biscuits.
I must have Ballerina biscuits with me.

Those fucking biscuits!
She can't think of anything else now?

I'll buy new ones at the hospital.
-I don't want hospital biscuits.

We'll have to shop on the way.
-Are you going to give birth at the grocery store?

I can't do that. The cab's here.
I promise I'll get you some new ones.

But not Singoalla or Brago.
-No, Ballerina. Hurry up now.

How's it going? Does it hurt?
-Yes.

Thank you very much.

Come.

Hello?

Hello?
-Yes, what can I do for you?

Hi! We've got a kids coming here.
-Oh, that's nice!

You've came at just the right time.
My name is Ranja. Sit down.

I'll guide you through this.
Is the baby just about to come out now?

You're about to give birth, are you?

The water broke,
but there's a long time between contractions.

You're not giving birth now?
No. Good.

But sit down,
I'll be right back.

Hey, is there a store nearby?
At the entrance. Pressbyrån.

Pressbyrån. Great.
I'll be right back.

This way.
This is the children's room.

They want to do it all over.
Tear it all down.

It's not adequate,
they want to do it again.

Does that feel good?
-It feels fine, yes.

I couldn't find any biscuits.
I bought a sports drink instead.

Look, I have to go to
another room now.

If there's anything, grab the snot.
And press.

Grab... what?
-The snot. This.

The red one. Button.
Then comes a signal.

Great.
Thank you very much.

She seems really nice.
Yes, but I don't understand a word she's saying.

I need someone else.
-Should we replace her?

We talked about this at prophylaxis.
If I'm not comfortable, we need to switch.

You're going to have to go out
and talk to her.

We can't switch just because
she speaks crummy Swedish.

Why can't we?

Because... It's racism, isn't it?
-Oh please!

Maybe it's super sensitive.
Maybe she's from some kind of war.

Sensitive! What about this?

If I'm in pain,
I have to understand what she's saying, right?

Why aren't you on my side?
I'm going to have your baby in a minute.

Take it easy, sweetie.
I'll do it.

Just don't blame me if this
goes to shit somehow.

Excuse me!
Hi. Sorry.

My girlfriend, she's a little dizzy now.
With the delivery and all that.

She's somehow convinced
that she's in trouble.

That she kind of doesn't...
She's having a hard time understanding...You.

You want to switch?
-Eh...

You want to change the midwife?
-No, don't change...

Try a variant.

It's not like you're...
-That I'm...?

That you're you, Nadja, but more...
-Ranja.

Ranja, yes. Sorry.
I don't have anything against you.

It's my girlfriend.
Or she doesn't mind you...

No problem.
We'll have someone else.

You shouldn't be standing here
making apologies for your wife.

She's having your baby.
You should be next to her. No problem.

We'll take care of it. No problem.
By the way...

Perhaps you would like some snatch?

How...?
-Would you like to taste some snatch?

A small bite to eat.
-A snack! A snack, yes.

Snacks, downstairs.
-Thank you.

Me and my girlfriend,
we'd like that very much.

Hi! There you are.

Margareta, you can't be here.

It's going swell, I'm talking to
the midwife. Don't worry.

Where's Alex?
-I don't know. I guess he's out there.

Take it easy, I won't bother you.
Just see if I can help.

Did you eat?
-No.

That's what I thought.

I brought you some blended stew.
You need to have some food.

Why would they renovate it?
It looked really new.

What?
-The children's room. They're worse than you.

Did you just say the children's room?
-Yes.

It's the bathroom they're going to renovate!
-But they said the children's room, didn't they?

They've already renovated that!
-They don't want to change again, then?

Why are you still here? Stop them!
Shit! Fucking cell phone!

Guys! Stop! No, damn it! Stop!

It's the wrong room.
The bathroom, it's the bathroom.

Shit! No, stop it! Stop!

You have to put everything back.
It's the wrong room, motherfuckers!

I know, I'm sorry.
You just have to put back...

No, guys, you can't go!

No, guys! Don't go!

Please don't go!
You have to put everything back.

I'm sorry, you're not idiots,
I'm the idiot.

Hello! Please guys!

I'm sorry, It's a bonus!
How much you want? I hire you long time.

Mom?
What are you...?

Maybe I could help.
-Labour starts at any moment.

I just want to help.
-That's really nice, but...

I think Anna's a little dizzy.
She won't talk or eat, just so you know.

That's great, thank you. Go to the waiting room.
I'll pick you up later. Stay there!

What the hell is she doing here!
-I don't know, I don't know.

It makes me so fucking stressed, Alex!

I'm going to have a baby and then
I'm going to off your mother... It's perverse!

She's not going to bitch
about how I'm giving birth.

She's brought some fucking food with her
that she stuck under my nose.

I can't throw her out.
-No, you never could.

And where are the biscuits!
Now you listen to me! Can you do that?

One thing I asked you to do
when we got here. One thing.

You were supposed to get me my biscuits.
You can't even do that!

Hi! Your new midwife is on the way.
-Great, thanks.

Look for another store,
or just bake them yourself!

I'll take care of it.
-Good! And buy a bike lock too...

...and shackle that fucking bitch!

Don't worry, now.

Yes...

I'm the new midwife,
Sigrid Gardell.

How much time between contractions?
-Sorry?

I need to know how far apart they are,
if you want painkillers.

If you want acupuncture,
electrical stimulation, or otherwise.

You want something?

Yes, I mean...
Could we bring Ranja back in?

Bring her back in?
-Can you?

Yes, it's okay.
-Thank you, that's friendly.

Hi! Is there another store
than the Pressbyrå?

Yes, continue out straight
and you'll have one on the right.

Shit!

"Turn the leveling screw
above the level"...

"...clockwise until the benchmark..."

"Turn the leveling screw..."

Where are we going?
-With that? I...

I accidentally put them here,
I didn't know this was a break room.

But those are my biscuits.

They're yours?
-Yes.

Sorry...
You know what, it's like this...

My wife's crazy about these fucking
biscuits and she's having a baby.

I forgot the biscuits and had to get new ones.
I've been looking for hours.

It's a fucking emergency.

Can I buy these from you?

Okay, this time.
-That's awesome.

How much?
-500 kroner.

500 kroner for these?

These cost 20, 30 kroner.
500 kroner? Are you...?

Why don't I come with you

and tell them that you steal staff biscuits.

Here you go.
Thank you very fucking much!

How's it going?
-I can't do this at all.

I screw, but nothing happens.

You're screwing in the wrong direction.
Like this, this is right.

Fuck! Why is it so hard?

Why don't you call Tomek?
-Because... Tomek's in Poland.

Damn, it's hot!

Please don't laugh.
I know I'm useless at this.

I own every tool there is,
but can't use them.

What is it?

You want to fuck?
Now?

Mom! How are you?
-I feel a little dizzy and tired.

Have you had anything to drink?
-No, I haven't.

I'll fix you something.

I've got elderflower juice in the bag
that I left in Anna's room.

I'll get it.
-No, don't rummage through my stuff.

I'll go in with you.
It'll be quicker.

Can you take your gloves off?

Hey, how are you? Mom's just picking up her bag.
That's okay, isn't it?

In fact, we are in the process of
an epidural anesthesia.

How are you, darling?
Does it hurt, sweetheart?

I'm here now.
There's doctors here, nurses, midwives.

Everyone's totally focused on you now.

Mom!

Mom!
-She's passed out.

Has she fainted?

Mom...
And raise the feet.

Let's get her out.
-I'll be there later.

I'm sorry, darling. Sorry.
Here are the biscuits.

I don't want the fucking biscuits now!

Honey, how are you?
-Get the hell out of here! Just fuck off!

How are you?
-She's coming now.

She's coming now?
You're going to have to push the button!

Push the button!
-Yes, I'm pushing it now.

Push!
I'm pushing!

Hurry!
Come on, let's go!

Hurry! It's coming now!
The baby's coming now!

Come on, Anna!
Come on, let's go!

Come on, Fredde!
Just a little more!

A little more.
I see the head.

Come on, come on!

Come on, Anna!
A little more, a little more.

Congratulations.

Now she woke up.
Yes, now she woke up.

This is where you'll live, sweetheart.
Right, here's her little room.

This is where you're going to sleep.
-But I mean, what...?

What is it?
-The room feels so different.

That's because you've become a parent.
Everything's turned upside down.

All upside down. Should we go downstairs?
-The room feels different.

I agree, it feels fresher
than how we left it.

Fredde...
-Fuck!

It's been such a fucking story.
I misunderstood. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I sent the Poles in here.
I understood "the children's room."

In here?
-Yes, they tore up the whole room.

Mickan and I have had to set up
walls and ceilings and fix everything up.

You've done better than us.
It looks great.

Better fit on the borders.

I put this up, too.

Fuck!
What the hell!

Maybe that wasn't
professionally executed...

I'll call Tomek on Monday.
He's going to have to put this back up.

Did you tape it up?
-No.

It works pretty well on the roof.
-Above all, I'm an imbecile.

I've been working my ass off.
-The bathroom isn't even fixed?

So, you're a dad.

House, car and kid.
Another phase of life begins now.

It's a good phase.
This is going to be a great year.

Hey, man!
-Hey there.

Here's the miracle.
-Yes, that's right.

She's so damn cute.

When are you going on paternity leave?
This spring, I thought.

Perfect, then I can take what I have left,
well do it together.

But it's not really decided yet,
so we should...

I can adapt. Say when you'll take it
and I'll take care of it.

There's a lot of fun to do.
Skansen zoo, the Junibacken children's attractions...

A little expensive there though.
Twenty kroner for a cinnamon bun is shameless.

I usually buy my own cinnamon buns
at Lidl and bring them with me.

I'll also bring in some coffee
and sit and snack in a corner.

Then there are the museums.
Ethnographic museum, free. Nobel museum, free.

The toy museum isn't free,
so maybe we should ignore that.

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