Six Feet Under (2001–2005): Season 4, Episode 9 - Grinding the Corn - full transcript

Hey, I could see if they need
anybody part time at the store.

Okay, you know something,
Norbert? I need money!

My rent is three weeks overdue,
and you're not helping!

You could
sell something.

How about you just loan me some cashola
from your trust fund instead?

You could sell me
your entire

"Justice League of America
vs. The Alien" series.

A guy on eBay sold one
last week for 500.

- For the whole series? That's bullshit!
- Swear to God.

Dude, the auction was rigged.
And besides, I need more than that.

You want to know
what you could sell



that would pay your rent for like
the next three months?

- What?
- "Blue Twister," 1941,

issue number one.

No fucking way.

- Can't do it.
- It's worth three grand easy.

I know what
it's worth, Norbert.

I'll give you
2500 for it.

- You just told me it was worth three.
- So?

How bad do you want
to pay your rent?

No way,
I'm never selling it.

In fact, I'm going to be buried with it.
It's in my will.

- Yeah, right.
- Ahh!

Larry? Larry?

Larry,
are you there?



- Morning, fellas.
- Good morning.

Morning, Nate.

Rough night?

A little rough.

I miss sleeping
in my own bed.

I miss the boys,
I miss Vanessa.

Not me, slept
like a baby.

Dropped Maya off
over Bettina's with Mom.

- How's she doing?
- Maya's fine.

If you want to know
how my mother is,

she suggested that you call her
and ask her yourself.

So, um...
when's she coming back?

I haven't
the slightest idea.

Apparently, she still
needs some space.

Well, you do want her
to come back home, right?

- Of course.
- Well, with all due respect,

why don't you just
get off your ass, go over there,

eat as much crow as you have
to and bring her back home?

Because that's just
what she wants me to do

and I'm not
playing that game.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's the way
I'd play it.

You guys are more pathetic
than I am.

Woke up in the middle of the
night and you weren't there.

You were out here
watching television again.

Yeah, I watched
"Jaws 3."

I drank too much green tea.
I kept having to get up to pee.

I am so glad we're
not doing that whole

open relationship
thing anymore.

Me too.

- You are? Really?
- Mm-hmm.

You're not just saying that
because I said, "I'm glad"?

No.

David, I have to come clean with you
about something.

What?

I had sex with someone
after we decided not to sleep

with anyone outside
the relationship.

But we said we weren't
gonna do that anymore.

I know.
I fucked up.

So, who did you
sleep with, Javier?

No. Celeste.

Okay, bullshit.

I'm serious.

Celeste is a woman.
Isn't she?

She is.

But I've slept
with women before.

You know that.

You're serious?
You slept with Celeste?

It was just once.
It was an accident.

You were walking by and you just
happened to fall into her vagina?

It just happened.
I'm sorry it happened, but it did

and I felt
I should tell you.

You haven't secretly decided
to switch teams, have you?

No, no way.

Okay. Wow.

But okay.

Edie?

Oh, what are you
doing here?

Uh, Hello?

I'm Edie's friend,
Anita.

I just needed
to talk to her.

Is she, like, home?

- Yeah.
- Well, can I come in?

- She doesn't want to talk to you.
- Why the fuck not?

She's just kind of over you
for the moment, that's all.

Oh, I see.

Why?

Because you were a lesbian
for about two whole minutes

and then suddenly
you weren't.

On top of that, she said
you got all, like,

grossed out by her pussy.
That was totally not cool.

Okay, for the record,
I was not grossed out by her pussy.

Okay, pussy, per se,
does not gross me out.

I just didn't know
what exactly to do with it.

It wasn't personal,

it just didn't do it
for me, you know?

I'll pass
that along.

No, we weren't related.

We used to work
at Hi De Ho together.

Is that a grocery store?

It's a comic book store
in Santa Monica.

Oh.

Did he have a family, someone locally
or out of state, we could contact?

We're pretty
much it.

I guess that's why
he designated me to be

the executor
of his estate.

We were all in the West-Co
Blue Twister Society together.

Blue Twister?

The guy who could turn
into a human tornado?

Yeah, or shoot
smaller tornadoes

from his fingertips with
the strength of an F-5.

- That's the strongest tornado there is.
- His name was Alan Talbot

and he was a scientist
doing research in a machine

he had invented
called the vortexicon.

It was a prototype for a nuclear-powered
particle accelerator.

Something went
horribly wrong.

And he turned into
the Blue Twister.

I just read it
when I was a kid,

I had no idea
he had a society.

It was kind of an
unofficial fan club.

Anyway...

he wanted to be
buried with...

this.

It's issue number one
from 1941.

It's extremely rare.

Extremely valuable.

The last thing he said
before the bookshelf

fell on top of him was that he wanted
to be buried with it.

We were on the phone together
when it happened.

He made
this noise like...

And then I hung up
and called 911.

We're very sorry
for your loss.

Oh, honey,
that's terrific.

Marcie's lawyer poked
so many holes in the case,

- the feds dropped all the charges.
- Oh wonderful!

Well, I don't like lawyers,

but you give him
a blowjob if you have to.

Okay, sweetie.

I'll talk to you soon.
Okay, bye.

Uh, that's a relief.

It certainly is.

You wanna help
Grandma fold laundry?

- No.
- No? That's okay.

You just sit there
and be your adorable little self.

We should get out
and do something today.

- Okay, what?
- I came up with the zoo.

Now, it's your turn
to come up with something.

- We could go to the park.
- You've been here for two weeks,

we've been to the park
almost every single day.

Maya loves the park.

We've been through
this already.

- Getting on your nerves, aren't we?
- Yeah.

- Would you like us to leave?
- I didn't say that.

Are you sure?

Believe me, if I wanted you
to leave, you'd know it.

Think big, Fisher.

Think different.
Something...

the sky's the limit.

I'm tired of coming up
with all the ideas in this marriage.

This isn't
a marriage.

It's starting
to feel like one.

I don't suppose you want to go home
and make up with your hubby?

I'm not ready.

What if I told Nate to take Maya back
to day care for the next couple of days?

- That's a start.
- What would you like to do?

No, you're
missing the point.

What would you
like to do?

George is always talking
about his travels and...

I thought we'd have
adventures together.

- So far he hasn't taken me anywhere.
- So?

Let's go
on a road trip.

Now you're talkin'.

Where do you
wanna go?

Someplace exotic.

God, I love you!

- What, you can't handle that?
- Come on.

You can't,
can you?

God, come on, Bren.
I just came over here to...

To what, fuck
my brains out?

You know what? You're right.
I can't handle this right now.

I need to know
what you feel for me, Nate.

- Do you feel anything?
- Yeah, of course I do, Brenda.

God, look. I just spent the past year
dealing with losing somebody, okay?

Losing everything that
I committed myself to.

You know, it wasn't even that good,
when I'm perfectly honest with myself,

so I don't want a...

But you want me to be
available for sex without...

No, I don't want
anything, okay?!

This is too fuckin'
intense for me!

- I have a daughter now.
- That is so lame.

- What is lame about having a daughter?
- Using it as an excuse.

Oh, God.

- I could be part of both your...
- No, you couldn't.

- I have to go.
- Yeah, fine, go.

- Look, I'm sorry...
- Just go go go.

- Hello?
- Hey, Vanessa, it's me.

- Hang on. Julio!
- No no no, wait!

- Hi, Papi.
- Hey, Julio.

I wasn't done
talking to Mommy.

- She doesn't want to talk to you.
- Oh, she doesn't?

- No.
- Okay.

How's my
little man, huh?

- Good.
- Yeah yeah.

- When are you coming home?
- Soon soon.

- Papi's been really busy at work.
- I love you, Papi.

I love you, too.

Oh, I have to.

I can't stand
another minute of this.

Hey, baby.

People are waiting.
How do I get out?

- I can't believe it.
- You can't believe what?

You can't believe I had
another condo at stake?

- Please don't be angry with me.
- I wasn't angry...

Nice.

So, where
are we going?

- Rosarito Beach.
- Mexico?

That's not
too far, is it?

Four hours tops.

Uh, it's your trip,
you're driving.

Okay, then you're
the navigator.

- I did all the research.
- Wow!

I got a map from the internet,
and list of all the haciendas,

and I made us
a reservation.

It's the off-season
and everything is reduced.

Yeah, what the fuck.
Let's go to Mexico!

It's not like I have
to cross a bridge every day.

I never have
to cross bridges, but...

I think about
crossing them constantly.

You're talking
metaphorically.

No, I'm talking
about literal bridges.

Did anything bad ever
happen to you on a bridge?

No.

Did anything bad ever happen
to someone you love on a bridge?

No, but, they
collapse all the time.

If you Google
"bridge collapses"

you get like,
1,000 hits.

And you're worried that
if you cross a bridge, it'll collapse?

- Yes.
- That's a phobia, Byron.

I know that.

I want you to try
something for me.

I want you
to imagine

that you're walking
down the street

and you come
to a bridge...

But I wouldn't,
I would go around it.

This time you can't go around it.
Going around it is not an option.

I-I don't like this.

It's just
a short bridge.

Just imagine,

you're walking
across it...

and it doesn't
collapse.

Now, you're on the other
side, safe and sound.

- No, I'm not.
- You're not?

No, halfway across,
I jumped off.

Byron, are you taking any
medication at the moment?

40 milligrams
of Prozac.

Okay, well, I have to check in
with my supervisor, Dr. Kee, okay?

So, we'll
be right back.

I don't think
he's suicidal.

I think he's phobic
and I think he has O.C.D.

I think you
might be right.

We'll up his Prozac
and see if that helps.

I'd like to address
his behavior.

You want to force him
to walk across a bridge?

No.

Yes, gradually.

You've got a real knack
for this, Brenda,

but you can't just force
someone who's phobic

- to face their fears.
- Why not?

Because you have to be
more patient than that.

Someone like Byron might
never get over his phobia.

Then what is the point
of continuing his therapy?

Well, maybe
it's the one thing

that keeps him
from jumping off a bridge.

I think we can do
better than that.

Hey.

- Hey, did you hear?
- Hear what?

Professor Pope?
Just got in a car accident.

She's dead?

No. No, she just
suffered internal injuries,

she's gonna be out
for at least a month.

But she's going
to be okay?

Yeah, well, I mean,
that depends

on your definition of
"serious internal injuries."

If she punctured her
gall bladder, she'll be fine.

Apparently, we don't
even need our gall bladder.

But, if it's her liver or her
lungs or something more vital,

then it's not so good.

What if it
was her labia?

Wouldn't that be
totally tragic for her?

Why are you looking at me
like I'm some kind of retard?

Because I swear, Russell,
sometimes you are.

And for your information,
labia are not internal organs.

Hello, everybody,
my name is Billy Chenowith.

And I'll be your sub for
the rest of the semester.

- You know him?
- Yeah, I do.

...until then, you guys
are unfortunately mine.

Hey.

- Oh, God, I feel so guilty.
- Why?

For being alive.

Oh, Nate.

I just wanted Lisa gone.
I just wanted her out of my life.

But you didn't
make it happen.

It should've been me.

Oh God,
no no.

Nate, too many people
love you and need you...

your family, Maya.

I need you,
I need you so much.

That's the problem.

You're so full of holes,

you're this gaping
bottomless pit of need,

you neurotic, tedious,
self-absorbed bitch!

Hey!

- Move it!
- Fuck off, you stupid bitch!

He turns waste into
black gold... oil and gasoline.

The amount of waste
out there is enormous.

12 billion tons of solid waste produced
each year in the United States alone.

It takes the nation's dump
trucks 323 million trips

to carry
all that trash.

But some say there
is more than rubbish in the landfills.

Brian Appel's company
believes there are riches,

a renewable
energy resource.

We open this valve and
the oil comes out from here.

They're turning waste into fuel
and they've invented...

Uh-oh.

It's already proving itself
at their pilot plant in Philadelphia.

Oh, that's okay.

That's okay,
that's okay.

Life is a series
of accidents...

one after another.

Okay. Well, now we know
the reason it was so cheap.

- It's a dump.
- It's not a dump.

It's rustic.

It just needs a little
maid service, that's all.

- At least we can see the ocean.
- Well, there's that.

Ooh!

I made
a terrible decision

and brought us
to a horrible place.

Oh, come on,
it's Rosarito.

I mean, we're in
a foreign country, Fisher!

Horrible and terrible
are two of the most underrated

qualities when traveling
in a foreign country.

Horrible and terrible
often lead to fun and adventure.

- Really and truly?
- You know the saying,

"You can't make chicken
salad out of chickenshit"?

I don't believe
I've ever heard that one.

Well, I'm here
to tell you,

you can
and I have.

So I was in Patagonia
for a while.

It's unbelievable how cheaply
you can live down there,

and then I got
amoebic dysentery,

Yeah, and my grant money
finally ran out, so I figured,

time to head back
to the States.

That's when
I got the call from Dean Perelli

about filling in
for Carolyn Pope.

The fact that Carolyn Pope
is tenured blows my mind.

What can I say, shit
definitely rolls uphill.

What, you don't
think she's any good?

Hmm, uh, well,

- she's strictly academic.
- Mmm.

- Muffin?
- Mmm.

How's Brenda?

Hmm.

We haven't spoken
in almost a year.

I guess you could say
we're officially estranged.

- What's going on with you?
- Mmm.

I don't know.
I guess I'm depressed.

I don't think
it's clinical, but...

I just can't seem
to have a normal

healthy relationship
with another person.

Right.
Get in line.

Nobody has normal
healthy relationships.

My theory, which I have yet
to put into practice,

is to pick someone slightly
less crazier than you are.

Society propagates
this vision of people hooking up

and staying
together forever.

In reality, how often
does that actually happen?

I think it all comes down
to basic animal chemistry,

and if you get the chemistry
wrong, it's like, bleach

and whatever that shit
that makes bleach explode.

- Right, I think it's ammonia.
- Ammonia.

Yeah, I hear you.

You know,
I think, like,

you start out with whatever
your fucking parents

and their sick-fuck
gene pools stick you with,

right? But if you see enough
shrinks for long enough,

and you get
your cocktail right,

then you can...

get over yourself,

have a life.

I wonder if
there's a cocktail

that can make you compatible
with someone else?

- I sure as shit hope so.
- Hmm.

Dig in, guys.

- These are mushrooms?
- Giant portobellas, the best.

The filet
mignon of fungi.

If you wanted
a filet mignon,

why not just eat
a filet mignon?

Do you know how many
units of caloric energy

it takes to make a single
calorie of beefsteak?

Uh, no, but I have a feeling
you're about to tell me.

78 calories
of fossil fuel

for every calorie
of beef protein.

The meat industry along
with most of the agri-business

in this country is completely
and utterly unsustainable.

- You're saying we shouldn't eat meat?
- Meat isn't the problem.

It's how far away from the table
the food, whatever it is, is produced.

If it's produced locally, it's not
just fresher, it's less wasteful.

I used to work
at a food co-op in Seattle

and we used to hunt
for chanterelles.

I remember
reading somewhere

that mushrooms
are grown in dung.

Everything organic
is grown in dung.

What do you think
fertilizer is?

These, I believe, were grown
in sheep dung... in Ventura.

Evening, gentlemen.

David, would you care
to join us for dinner?

George grilled up some
giant portobella mushrooms.

And they were
fertilized in sheep dung.

Uh... no thanks.
I'm going home to my husband.

You guys have fun.

I know it's
a period piece

and a presidential
bio-pic, but look,

what most people don't realize
is that William Howard Taft...

aside from being
the fattest president ever...

was also, like, this
underdog and a rebel.

He was kind of like
the Eminem of his day.

Yeah. Oh yeah, Sean Penn
would be totally awesome,

but is he gonna be willing
to put on 150 lbs?

Yeah, all right.
Yeah, listen, man, I gotta go.

- I'll check you later. Hey, Bren.
- Hey.

- I haven't seen you in a while.
- Yeah.

- What can I do for you?
- I need a little something.

What you want? You want some brownies,
kahuna, catch of the day?

- What do you recommend?
- The catch of the day is

this pale green shit
from up in Mendocino.

It's very sticky,
very nice, not too skunky.

- Mmm, sounds good.
- All right.

Thanks.

# Traffic sings
the songs #

# Inviting me in to dodge the bullets
from an empty gun #

# If I had a car
I'd drive #

# Straight into the window of a bank
I owed money to #

# Pretty pictures
in a magazine #

# Everybody is
to make-believe. #

lmagine the speed
of this team.

He shouldn't be
handling the ball.

These are two guards, you know?
And that's the problem here.

Yeah, I hear you.
That's right.

What, we don't eat
dinner together anymore?

I thought you
were working late.

- Well, I'm not.
- I'm sorry,

I just ate
the last piece.

But you want me
to fix you something?

No, I think
I'll go to Fat Burger...

alone.

You guys want
to play 300 bridge?

No.

Not me. I'm gonna
turn in early, I'm beat.

Yeah, I think I really
gotta give Maya her bath.

What the hell
was that?

Okay, whoever the fuck
you are, we can see you!

Yeah, and we've
got a gun!

And a phone, so if you don't step out
from behind those drapes...

- We're gonna fill 'em full of holes!
- Don't shoot!

No shooting!

- It's you?
- You don't have a gun.

No, but unless you got
a good fucking reason for breaking

- into our place of business...
- I'm calling the cops!

- What the hell is going on down here?
- Where's Maya?

- In the playpen on the sun porch.
- Run for it!

Ow!

I think you
broke my arm!

What the fuck are you
doing in my house?

Get up.

You broke in here to steal
your dead buddy's comic book?

It was his idea!

Shut up!
It's worth four grand.

Maybe four and a half.

And he wasn't my buddy.
I didn't even like him.

- That's it. I'm calling the cops.
- Don't bother, Rico.

I don't care whether
you liked him or not,

his last wish was to be buried
with this thing

and that's exactly
what we're gonna do.

So, put it back!

Now, get the hell out of my
house before I change my mind

- and call the cops.
- Right.

I think you broke
my fucking arm, dude.

Nicely done.

Thank you.

#... Pennies and coffee #

# While the band plays
a funeral dirge #

# In New Orleans #

# Mardi Gras #

# But I'm sick
as a dog here in Texas #

# When the one
that you love #

# Is in the arms
of another man... #

Oh, man, I gotta
get out of here.

# You've got to
rise above it... #

That's cool with me.

Hey, don't forget
your bag of tea.

# Leave your baby down... #

- This water isn't very hot.
- It's a lukewarm tub.

Have some of this?

I don't
like tequila.

You know that cold, rubbery
lobster dinner we just ate?

It was probably
seething with bacteria.

A couple of swigs of this and we won't
be fighting all night

over who gets to ride
the porcelain bus.

We've been in here
over 10 minutes

and it's not
getting any warmer.

I have half a mind
to complain to the manager.

Go for it,
Fisher.

- Do you speak English?
- Yes, how may I help you?

The heater
in the Jacuzzi

doesn't seem to be
working very well.

I'm sorry, we turn it off
after sunset during the off-season.

My friend and I are paying guests
of your motel,

and we would like the heater on
in the Jacuzzi.

Whether or not
it's the off-season

is none of
our concern.

You can turn the damned
thing on or give us a full refund.

We can't give you
a refund for the room,

you've already
checked in.

Then we'll check out,

and I'll call
the credit card company

and have them
refuse payment.

I'll turn the heater
on in the Jacuzzi

but only
for one-half hour!

Thank you
very much.

I don't know what
you did in there...

but this baby is cooking
like a lobster pot!

Gimme some
more of that.

Ay-ay-ay-ay!

# 'Cause now it's
all night #

Wow.

What do you think?

I just remembered
the first time

I ever realized what Dad
really did in this house.

I had this dog
Yippie.

I found him
underneath my bed

and he was
already dead, so...

I wrapped him up
in a blanket

and I brought him
downstairs to the prep room.

I thought maybe Dad
could fix him, you know,

bring him
back somehow.

Then I realized there were
all these bodies down there...

and they're all dead.

And Dad was fixing them,
but he wasn't bringing anybody back.

He was just making them
more... presentable.

Yeah.

I always thought
they were so sad and alone

in the dark down there.
They just needed

someone to come
and sit with them.

Yeah, I thought
that, too.

Sometimes I still do.

- That's you.
- Oh.

- That's me.
- Uh-huh.

Where's Dad?

He's not here.

Is this for class?

No, I'm not sure
what it's for yet.

Maybe it's just for me.

I love that little
coffin refrigerator.

Thank you.

I mean, I still always think
about acting out, but...

now when I get in the car
and take a drive,

instead of picking up
a hooker, I, uh...

I just go
to the Krispy Kreme.

So, now I'm addicted
to Krispy Kreme and...

I'm 40 lbs. Heavier.

Even my wife
doesn't want to...

excuse my French,
fuck me.

I'm sorry.

Someone here tonight
reeks of marijuana.

It's not AA.

No, but it's still
against the rules.

I think
you should leave

and come back when
you're straight or sober.

You're right.

I'm sorry, but...

I really
need to be here.

I'm...

I need to be here.

I'm really scared about what'll happen
to me if I leave,

so please
don't make me leave.

Thank you.

Hey,
buddy boy.

# Make a little dream
worthwhile... #

Yippie's dead.

Can you fix him?

I'm sorry, kiddo,
but I can't.

I'll tell you what
we can do, though.

We can give him
a real nice send-off.

# If you take
a little time to smile #

# A smile is meant
to give away #

# Give 100 every day #

# If you took
a little time to say... #

Now, we need something
of yours to put in with him.

- He has my blanket.
- Something more personal.

I know. Why don't you
climb in with him?

That way he'll
never be lonely.

Nate, I'm sorry.

But I have to take
something with me.

Being alone for all eternity
sucks like you wouldn't believe.

I need something
really personal,

like a piece of me.

I've decided
it should be Maya.

No.

Nate, you know what
Dad used to say?

We all have
to go sometime.

- Who are you supposed to be?
- Death Man.

I wanted to be
The Grim Reaper,

but the folks at Marvel already had
a copyright on it.

Sorry, kiddo,

they're all
coming with me.

I could stay
if you want me to.

Yes.

Nobody stays.

Including you.

Sit.

Ooh, I'm allergic
to dogs.

Now, there's
the man I married.

Who wants
the end piece, hmm?

Honey?

Buddy boy.

He liked
a lot of things.

His comic book
collection, of course.

"The Lord
of the Rings" trilogy.

Every movie that
Halle Berry was in,

except
"Monster's Ball."

For some reason, he didn't
like "Monster's Ball."

It's like, these guys hit 15 and got
stuck in some kind of time warp.

It's kind of scary,
isn't it?

It's just depressing
how alienated they all look.

Well, from us
maybe, but...

Iook at them,
they're a community.

- This is who they are.
...visit him in the Cloud City.

Her name would have
maybe have been Linda.

- Are you crying?
- No, no.

Okay, you know something?
You're acting like a serious freak.

Maybe, I am
a serious freak.

I don't know what the hell
is going on with me.

I love this.

I feel like Butch
and Sundance.

Isn't this beautiful?

We're on a beach
full of horse apples, Fisher.

You want to know what I think?
I think you should just move on.

- You do?
- How long were you two together?

Since high school.

That's a long time.

I know a lot of mammals
mate for life, but most primates don't.

We're human beings,
not primates.

We share 98.8% of the same
DNA as a chimpanzee.

We're more closely related
to them than they are to gorillas.

Maybe your time with her is over.
You're young enough,

just go find
another one.

Oh my God, you guys
folded my undies.

That is so
fucking sweet.

Is she still
living here?

Evidently.

I thought Edie and Anita
were supposed to be here.

They were supposed to be,
but they're not.

I think it's
because of me.

I thought we were
gonna take pictures.

Dude, nobody
brought a camera.

Here...
feed the pigeons.

This sucks.
You want to go see a movie?

Not really.

You wanna get
something to eat?

- I'm not hungry.
- Yeah, me neither.

We could drive over to LACMA,
check out the Arbus exhibit.

Why don't you go ahead,
and then report back to us.

Okay,
maybe I will.

Later.

So I heard something.

- What did you hear?
- It was from Edie and Anita.

Oh?

They said something about
you never having an orgasm.

Actually Edie did a piece on
it last night at Nuts and Jolts.

She did?

"A straight girl
wanted to eat my pussy

- but then she changed her mind."
- She said that?!

Verbatim.
It was kinda cool, though.

Oh God, I am so fucking
embarrassed right now.

Nah, don't be.

Yeah, that's easy
for you to say.

No, listen,
really, don't be.

Is it true, though?

Yes, I changed
my mind.

No, I meant
about the orgasm.

Because if it is,
it's totally cool.

Believe me, most of the women that I've
been with have had a hard time.

But I heard about
this new technique,

and I've been looking
forward to trying it out.

Would you like me
to try it out with you?

Okay.

# Drama queen #

# Craving fame
and all that's decadent #

# Lying through your
teeth again #

# Suicidal... #

- I was watching that.
- Too bad.

- You trying to pick a fight with me?
- Maybe I am.

If this is about Celeste,
I thought we were okay with that.

- We were, now we're not.
- You can't just be okay with something

and then not be okay
with it for no reason.

Maybe I've had time
to think it through

and it's not
digesting well.

Well, take a Tums,
why don't you?

I fucked Sarge.

Who?

The veiny guy
from La Habra

who didn't secretly want me
to have women's breasts!

Wait, when did you fuck
the veiny guy from La Habra?

After we agreed not to fuck anybody
outside the relationship!

Then, why would you ask me not to fuck
anybody outside the relationship,

if you were gonna turn right around
and fuck somebody yourself?

I don't know! Because I didn't want you
to fuck anybody else,

and I wasn't planning on
fucking anybody either!

Well, how
is that fair?

I knew that I could do it without it
meaning anything.

Believe me, I can do it
without it meaning anything too!

What's that
supposed to mean?

It means that I wouldn't do it if it
meant anything, because I love you.

You are not
getting off that easy.

Look, I fucked Celeste,
you fucked veiny guy from La Habra.

Tit for tat,
we're even.

Okay, you don't get to say the word
"tit" to me, ever. I'm taking a shower.

Yeah, well, don't blow anybody
while you're in there.

Wow.

- Pretty good, huh?
- Oh my God.

You know what
it's called?

It has a name?

"Grinding the corn."

"Grinding the corn"?

What's the "corn"?

You know, with like,
a mortar and pestle?

Only you push the pestle against the rim
of the mortar not in the bowl.

Oh.

Yeah.

Hi, Maya.

Come in.

Is he going
to be okay?

It's not my fault,
is it?

Of course not,
Fisher.

There was probably
something wrong with it.

I think I'd like
to go home now.