Six Feet Under (2001–2005): Season 4, Episode 2 - In Case of Rapture - full transcript

I don't understand why they want
these filled with fuckin' helium.

It's for the AVN
Awards, man.

It's like the fucking
Oscars of porn,

and they want 'em
floating from the rafters.

Check this out.

Fuck me!

I have several
fuckable orifices!

Wait wait wait.

No, fuck me! I'm a chick
with a dick!

Then you can
fuck yourself!

No, fuck you!



Oh shit,
my dick fell off!

Holy shit.

I think this
chick's my cousin.

Watch out!

- Dude, you almost hit that guy.
- I did not.

- Yes, you did.
- Well, he like came from nowhere.

...But it's not
just the wives

who need to give themselves
freely to their husbands

within the blessed confines
of the marriage bed.

- Husbands need to surrender as well...
- Praise the Lord.

Because women have
desires too.

- And those wifely desires...
- Uh-huh.

To be satisfied
by their husbands.

Even when we may not
feel like it.



Right, Lonnie,
like that ever happens!

So, this is how,
through marriage,

we create the Garden
of Eden again,

without shame,
without sin...

Oh! Oh my Lord!

Oh my Lord!

Sweet Jesus!

Sweet Jesus!

Oh, sweet Jesus!

Lord lift me u...

Oh, those are good.

You're up early.

I'm always up early.

Every day's a new adventure.
Today we're having eggs.

What do you think
of our new table?

I don't know.
What is it, Indian?

Persian, I think.

What's the difference?

Persia is Iran,

and India is,
well, India.

It's George's?

Well, we've been married
for almost three months,

and we decided it
might be time to move

some of his things
out of storage.

Most of it's
in the garage for now,

but we put the table in last night
before we went to bed.

You see this?

- This is called a horse.
- That's funny.

Where Daddy comes from,
it's called a rock.

It's a piece
of greywacke

I found wedged between the walls
of the San Andreas Fault,

up near Pescadero.

That's what a "horse" is...
a piece of displaced rock

between the walls
of the fault-line.

That's very helpful,
George, thank you.

How's our
little girl today?

Good. Eating some eggs,
wearing some.

Is this
a new table?

It's Persian.

Persia? Does that
exist anymore?

Persia is Iran.

And this is
a horse.

A piece of rock found
between the walls of a fault?

Very good, Claire.

George has been telling me
all about his rocks.

Who would've thought they could be
so fascinating?

Aren't they?

It's like going to school
in your own home.

You know, Claire,

maybe you could take photos
of some of George's keepsakes.

Every one of them has
such an interesting story behind it.

Well, not
all of them.

I mean, it's been a while
since you did any of your,

you know, art.
I just thought it might inspire you.

Do I look like
I need to be inspired?

Actually, you do.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Don't be silly,
Arthur.

I'll just grab my cottage cheese
and take it up to my room.

Is this Persian?

Yes, it is.

I'm not sure if it works
in this kitchen,

but it's
very beautiful.

Thank you.

I think it works
in this kitchen.

I love it

because it's yours.

Apparently,
according to witnesses,

she just got out
of her car

- and ran into traffic.
- Do they know why?

No.

I suppose
we'll never know.

Well, my heart
goes out to you.

It's horrible,
not knowing exactly

what happened
to someone you loved.

It was her time,

that's all.

The Lord works
in mysterious ways.

Yes.

He certainly does.

So, Mr. Sheedy,
would you prefer

- an afternoon or an evening viewing...
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I just think in the interest
of healthy grieving, Mr. Sheedy,

you need to give
yourself permission

to at least be curious
as to why your wife

would jump out
of her car

and run into traffic...

for no apparent
reason.

Why?

It's not going
to bring her back.

Nate?

I believe Rico could use
your assistance downstairs.

Right.

I'm very sorry
for your loss.

Some of the most
striking tapestry art

of the medieval age is
to be found in Central France

in the Chateau
of Angers.

During the 14th century,
a more gothic style

would take root
in England, however,

introducing intricately
carved wooden sculpture...

Hey, you're
Claire Fisher, right?

I loved that graveyard light-box piece
you had in the alumni show.

Oh, thanks.

I'm Anita Miller.

I started winter
semester last year.

Cool, hi.

...gothic architecture,
middle-period England.

This is with
the flying buttresses.

Oh God, how much of this
gothic stuff can there be?

Some of it's
really beautiful,

but it's all starting to kind
of run together in my head.

I hear that.

I see one more bleeding Jesus,
I think I'll hurl.

Maybe if you hurl
on a bleeding Jesus,

you could get independent
study credit or a grant.

Yeah, I'm sure
the NEA is just dying

to hand out money
to Christ-defacers.

The NEA is dying,
that's for sure.

So, are you working
on anything?

No. I haven't even picked up
my camera since like last spring.

You?

Please, all I did
was work at Starbucks

and see lame-ass movies
like "The Hulk."

Oh God, when I saw that
I was just like,

"Excuse me,
can somebody please explain

- those gigunda, purple fucking pants?"
- Shh.

I know! Just show us his big,
green package already!

Shh!

Can I help you?

Hey, you wanna
go out tomorrow night?

It's open mic night
at The Nuts and Jolts

and my friend Edie
is doing her thing.

- What's her thing?
- Mmm, it's kind of

a punk-folk-poetry-
performance art kind of thing.

Sure, why not?

I can't believe
you can't see this.

He's just using that happy-she's-on-
her-way-to-Jesus horseshit

to distance himself
from the truth.

The man lost
his wife!

He's facing one
of the worst things

that can possibly
happen to a person,

and I just think
that he needs to feel.

He needs to really,
really feel

the loss and the rage.

Nate, everyone handles
their grief in a different way.

He was nowhere even
near actual grief.

Maybe he's just trying to keep
it together in front of his son.

Yeah, wouldn't want the kid
to bump up against reality.

- Prepare him for actual life.
- Maybe the man has faith.

- In what, God?
- Yes, in God.

And maybe his faith in God
is what sustains him.

Well, he's not
"sustained."

He totally
fucking checked out.

You gotta go through
all the necessary stages of grief!

That's how you honor what the person
actually meant to you.

How long were you
with the LAPD?

Almost six years.

And why did
you leave?

I, uh...

I went off on a guy
during a domestic abuse call.

Did you
kill the guy?

No.

I busted him up
pretty bad, though.

Did ever kill anybody
in the line of duty?

Once.

A guy pulled a gun
and I did what I had to do.

It was
a clean shooting.

I killed a guy during
a domestic abuse call once.

Mike.

Now's not the time.

Look, putting some
asshole in the hospital

for beating up on his wife
is not a problem.

We handle strictly
high-end clientele,

mostly high-profile
people in the music

and entertainment industry.

We've handled MJ...
both MJs actually...

- Whitney, P-Diddy.
- Both MJs?

Michael Jordan
and Michael Jackson?

Mick Jagger's
an MJ.

We've handled all
three MJs then.

Wow.

When you come to work for
Safeguard Protection Agency,

your job is not to put
your hands on anyone

during any
given situation.

Your job is
to low-tone it

and defuse the situation
before it becomes a situation.

Got it.

I don't think I have anymore questions
for now, Mr. Charles.

Me neither.

Do you have any
questions for us?

No, I don't
think so.

I really would like
this job, though.

I mean, this is exactly
the line of work

that I'd like
to get into.

I'm a hard worker
and, um,

you won't be sorry.

We'll call you.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

Do you have
any paper towels?

We'll take
care of it.

- Mike?
- I'm on it.

Sorry about that.

Oh, thank you
so much, Rico!

Come in.

Hi, Nicole.
Hi, sweetie.

I am so glad
that I met you.

Oh. Yeah.

I never had someone
be so nice to me

without expecting something
in return, you know?

Yeah.

Except for
that one time...

- which I didn't mind at all.
- Look, Sophia.

I'm married.
We both know it.

I'm just trying to help out a little
here and there, that's all.

Could you do me
a huge favor?

You know the DVD player
that you bought me last week?

- Mm-hmm.
- I don't know how to hook it up.

Sure.

Yeah.

All right.

Hey, sweetie.

Now you'll be able to watch
all your favorite movies, huh?

Yoo-hoo.

So, you going
to work?

Yeah.

I wish you
didn't have to...

you know,
do that for a living.

Yeah, well we all
got to eat, right?

Yeah.

Who watches Nicole?

The lady upstairs.

Where's her father?

Fuck if I know.

Look, Rico,

he's a speed freak
and a deadbeat.

We're better off
without him, believe me.

And if you come
to the club tonight,

don't call me Sophia.

- My club name is...
- Infinity.

Infinity, I know.

All right, let's get
this thing hooked up.

Want to help me?

I just figured nobody knows more
about crazy people than I do.

I was raised by them,
I am one of them,

and, really, I'm way too old
to be rubbing up strangers.

I think you're gonna make
an excellent therapist.

It's a pretty intensive,
fast-track program,

and I'm gonna have to
work my lazy ass off,

but I'll have my MSW
summer of 2005.

You can analyze me.

My mother is going to freak
when she finds out.

I'll just
never tell her.

So, what day is this?

Day 78, right?

More like 67,
actually.

67? Where do you
get 67?

The two weeks you were
in San Jose don't count.

No, they don't.

We didn't even talk
during those two weeks.

Yeah, but we fantasized
about each other.

Speak for yourself.

You didn't even
think about me?

While touching myself?

Oh, I like the sound
of that.

Yeah, I bet you do.

I think it's only fair that
we count the days in San Jose.

Think of it as time off
for good behavior.

Maybe.

Here, eat this.

Some people think
I'm in heaven.

But guess what?

There is no heaven.

Except right here...

with you.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for Thou art with me.

Thy rod and Thy staff,
they comfort me."

Oh yeah!

Oh yes!

Oh yes!

Hey.
Is this too much?

No, sir,
you are all that

and a box of cookies.

You have
to say that.

Yeah, I kinda do.

Oh shit, I gotta pick up
that package in 20 minutes.

I cannot believe
you're going to be

a security guard
to the stars.

- Security specialist.
- Oh, that is so hot.

Who are you
protecting today?

I have no idea.
All I know is

I have to be at
The Meridien Hotel at 11:00.

I hope it's
Russell Crowe.

Or Denzel Washington.

Or Russell Crowe
and Denzel Washington.

Mmm, imagine
the possibilities.

- I need a new suit.
- Well, you can buy three new suits

with the money
you're going to make,

Mr. They-start-me-out-at-
25-bucks-a-fucking-hour.

Some of these guys make
100 if they go on tour.

Holy shit.

We can finally get one of
those gigantic flat-screen,

high-definition TVs
you've been wanting.

And you know
what else? A house.

Oh my God,
with a swimming pool.

And a Jacuzzi.

And an O'Keefe & Merritt
stove-and-oven for the kitchen.

Oh, put your
hands on me.

My job is to not put
my hands on anybody.

Oh.

My job is
to low-tone it,

and defuse the situation
before it becomes a situation.

Oh, yeah?
Well, defuse this.

Ah. Mmm.

Keith, this is
Derek and Jeffrey.

Hey.

What's up?

You take
a peek inside?

- Excuse me?
- Inside the case.

No.

You didn't give me
the combination.

Not that I would
have if you had.

Don't you want to know
what you were transporting?

Not if you
don't need me to.

CD's bling.

CD?

Cameron Diaz.

Wow, I'm going
to meet Cameron Diaz?

No. I'm putting you
on lobby duty

with Derek
and Jeffrey tonight.

Oh, got it.

So what do
we do now?

We're doing it.

You got
some shades?

I left them
in the car.

I really like this
table of yours, George.

Although I must admit

I kind of miss
the old Formica one.

I'm sure being a geologist
you know Formica

was originally developed
as an electrical insulator,

created as
a replacement for mica,

a silicate mineral.

Hence the word

for-mica.

Actually,
that's not true.

Mica, whether biotite
or muscovite,

is a silicate mineral,
that's true.

But Formica is
a plastic laminate,

developed for kitchen
furnishings in the 1920s.

The one has nothing whatsoever
to do with the other.

I stand corrected then.

They're both such interesting
explanations, though, aren't they?

By the way, that's
my yoghurt you're eating.

My name is clearly marked
on the side of the container.

I hope you're
planning on replacing

however much of it
you consume.

Oh.

Man, I'd fuck her.

Me too.

I'd tap that ass.

Oh, yeah.
No fucking doubt.

Check out that.

You can't have that.

I could
if I wanted to.

In your dreams,
you could.

I've had finer
than that.

Uh-huh.

I'd definitely
tap that...

ass.

Okay, I think you
should go home.

- It's still early, though.
- I know.

I just want
some alone time.

Okay.

So, when do we
stop doing this

"going back to our
respective places"?

- At the end of 90 days.
- 90 days, right.

It's a good, healthy period
of rehabilitation, that's all.

You know there's some people
who go to rehab for 30 days.

Those people
usually relapse.

What about
the 60-day people?

- Still pretty iffy.
- Yeah?

- Okay, I see.
- Mm-hmm.

So...

90 days,

is it the morning
of the 90th day

or is it the evening
of the 90th day?

It would be
the 91st, actually.

That is so
not fair.

Oh, come on.

You're not 17,
you can wait.

It'll be worth it,
trust me.

But I just want
to see that weird tattoo.

You've seen it
already!

Without all that annoying
clothing to distract me.

Just once I just want
to get to know someone

before I sleep
with them.

People used to get engaged
before they'd even met,

and they'd stay engaged for years
while they got to know each other.

People also
used to think that cats

could suck their souls
out of their bodies.

They do.

You know, technically,

I could stay over
before the 90 days.

We would just have to sort
of keep a lid on it.

I don't think
I could do that.

Oh. Okay.

I'm gonna go across
the courtyard,

and I'm gonna count to 91
and I'm gonna masturbate.

You want more pizza, babe?
You barely ate a thing.

Oh no, I had
two pieces, I'm full.

Usually you eat
the whole pizza yourself.

Are you feeling okay?

Yeah, I feel fine.

- Can I get some more tokens?
- Yeah.

Are you keeping an eye
on your brother over there?

- Yes.
- Yeah?

Here.
One for you, one for him.

How was work?

Same shit,
different day.

You don't want to talk
to me about anything?

Why don't you tell me
about your day?

I already did, but obviously
you weren't listening.

- I was listening.
- What did I say?

Look, Vanessa.
I'm just...

I'm just a little distracted
right now, that's all.

This is Shakey's Pizza night, babe,
it's supposed to be fun.

The kids are
having a blast.

What are you
talking about?

No, it's supposed
to be fun for all of us.

- I'm having fun.
- You are a lying sack of shit.

Hey, you didn't have anything to talk
to me about for six fucking months.

Can I be distracted
for one night?

"Your clitoris.

Hot, burning,
wet pinkness.

I wasn't the first
and I won't be the last.

The crack of the world
for all to explore,

except for me.

Been there, done that."

That's the end.
Thank you.

I feel violated.

I don't think
he's ever been laid.

Oh, that's Edie!

Okay.

Can we make a rule
for open mic night?

No more angry
poems or songs

with clitoral or
vaginal references in them...

unless you have one.

Here's my poem
dedicated to every guy

I've ever been with.

"Your penis
is kinda nice.

Too bad you're
attached to it."

This next piece
is a collaboration

between me and my mom,
who lives in Chicago.

My mom has cancer
and she's really angry,

even though
she's been smoking

three packs a day
for 40 years.

- Edie.
- Feel sorry for her yet?

I just came back
from lunch

with your Aunt Betty.

Aunt Betty
who once told me

black people
couldn't go to heaven.

I feel so lost,

I don't know what
to do with myself.

Okay, I lied about
the cancer part.

There is nothing wrong
with this woman.

Nothing!

What happened
to me, Edie?

What happened
to my life?

She's just
a fucking victim

who's never taken
a chance in her life

and has nobody
to blame but herself!

I wish I was dead.

Actually, my mom
is the Vice President

of the Midwestern
Direct Marketing Association.

I can get you any
targeted list you want...

over 65, under 21,

married, single, gay,
lesbian, smokers,

racists,
cancer survivors.

She is plunging
headlong into the abyss

with all her guns
firing!

You just tell me
what you want and

I will deliver!

And it will take you 32 hours
of sheer physical agony,

and you will never
let me forget about it!

Edie.

You made her
look so beautiful.

Well, you and God.

That's our job.

Me and my associates,
I mean.

Not me and God.

So, how are you
holding up?

Quite well.
Thank you for asking.

It's okay for you
to be angry.

I'm not angry.

Maybe you just
don't realize it.

You should know
anger is a very natural

and necessary stage
in the grieving process.

- Nate...
- You can't just skip over it.

Believe me, I've been there.
You have to live with it

and allow yourself to dwell on it.
You have to own it.

Only then are you gonna have
any chance of moving through it

and getting on
with the rest of your life.

I know there's a reason
God chose this for Dorothy,

and I know that
his wisdom is infinite.

- What if you're wrong?
- I'm not.

- What if there is no God, no heaven?
- Nate...

What if she's just gone
forever, like she didn't even exist,

and now you have a child who will
never know his mother?

- That doesn't make you angry?
- Nate!

It's all right.

No, it's not.

If you'll excuse us
for a moment...

Please.

That's enough.

I am just trying to help
the guy face the truth!

What? I'm uniquely
qualified, don't you think?

I'm a funeral director
and my wife is freshly dead.

Who's more
qualified than me?

This isn't about you, okay?!
Leave these people alone.

Look, you want to leave them alone?
Fine, you leave them alone,

but don't expect me
to feed them lame shit

like it's going to get better,
because it won't!

And people need
to know that!

Well, maybe some people
aren't ready for that.

"Formica:

A durable plastic laminate
used in kitchen furnishings,

developed as an
electrical insulator

as a replacement for
the silicate mineral...

mica."

That was so great.

No, it was
self-indulgent,

and I still don't know
exactly what it's about, you know?

But I figured,
do the work,

stay out
of the results.

I liked the cock poem
at the very beginning.

Which was totally
improvised, right?

Was I too hard
on him?

Oh no,
not at all.

I mean,
he was weeping...

Yeah, but two cute girls
followed him out back.

Well, maybe he'll get
a blowjob out of it.

So, you're at
LAC Arts, right?

- Yeah.
- What year?

Sophomore.
You?

Junior, I think.

I haven't been keeping track
of my credits or anything.

Claire grew up
in a funeral home.

Why did you have
to tell her that?

So, what's
your medium?

Photography, mostly.

Yeah, but I haven't picked up
my camera in like months.

Why not?

I don't know.

I went through
a tough time for a while.

That's the best
time to work.

I mean, that's when
your guts are all raw

and you don't have to waste
too much time thinking about it.

Yeah, I just feel like anything
I do is going to be shit.

So? What's the worst
that can happen?

I mean, some asshole
will make fun of you?

- Like you made fun of poet guy?
- Yeah, exactly.

I mean, I'm sure there
are plenty of people here

right now,
making fun of me.

Yeah, I guess I'm just waiting
for the right time.

Well, none of us
may be here tomorrow.

I mean, you of all people
should know that, right?

Are you okay?

Ever since Lisa died,
every death that comes through here

feels like her
dying all over again.

It's only been
a few months, Nate.

Yeah.

I keep thinking
it's going to get easier.

No one ever said
it gets easy.

Not easy, easier.

Just for five
fucking minutes.

I can't get it out of my head
even for that long.

Even when
I'm with Maya.

Most of all,
I just don't think

- I believe any of this anymore.
- Any of what?

That anything we say or do
actually helps anybody.

All right, look.

I can't do this
anymore, David.

What are you saying?

I'm saying
that I quit.

- You're quitting?
- I'm not cut out for this.

You're cut out for this,
like Dad was.

Rico is cut out
for this.

Probably Arthur's
cut out for this, I'm not.

I am not. I am not
cut out for this.

And I have got to find some other kind
of life for myself.

And not just for myself,
but for Maya too.

I have to.

I'm sorry.

- Ahem. Hello?
- Is that you making all that noise?

What noise?

Sounds kind of
like a moose

that got hit
by a Mack truck.

I beg your pardon,
I'm orgasming.

You might want
to dial it back a bit

before the landlady
calls animal control.

I can't help it.

Fantasizing about
making love to you

is even better than actual sex
with most people.

What are you
wearing?

- At the moment?
- Mm-hmm.

Nothing.

Come over in that.

You're joking, right?

Maybe not,
but come now

before I change my mind.

Did anyone see
you come over?

- I hope so.
- Get in here.

Well.

The ball's in your court,
so to speak.

Is everything
all right, David?

As a matter of fact, no,
everything is not all right.

Nate quit.

- What do you mean he quit?
- His job.

- When?
- Last night.

It's now "Fisher & Diaz"

as in one Fisher
and one Diaz.

Well, you've been complaining
about Nate's work.

I would think you'd be happy
if he took a break.

Mom, he's not
taking a break, he quit.

Now there are
just two of us.

I already had
to drop out of chorus

since he's almost never here
when he's supposed to be.

Perhaps this is
for the best then.

I suppose we can get Arthur
to pick up some of the slack.

He can embalm as long as one of us
is in the room with him.

Did you know that the average
American changes career

seven times during
his or her lifetime?

Is that information
supposed to be useful

in some way, George?

It's just a fact.

Ah.

Hey, I'm gonna take
Maya to the park.

Okay, I know.
Have fun at the park.

I'll be here at work,
keeping us all afloat.

Dorothy loved
all of you.

And I know that she'll
watch down on us as we sleep.

But know that
she is not gone

and anyone who knows
Dorothy knows it.

She was everywhere...

- Hey, why are you, uh...
- Hey, dum-dum.

I just got home
and I was thinking about

how sweet you are.

And I miss you.

Yeah.

Yeah, hey look,
I'm at work right now.

- I shouldn't even be...
- I was thinking maybe you could

come over later,
okay? Please?

Okay.

Maybe I can stop by
for like a little while.

Oh, can you pick us up
something to eat, too?

- Some...
- Nicole loves pizza with pepperoni.

We can eat it together
and watch TV.

- It'll be fun, okay?
- I can do that.

I'll be there
in a little bit.

Okay, hurry.
I can't wait.

Uh, Vanessa just called,

Augusto has
an ear infection

and she needs me
to take him to the doctor.

Okay, fine, go.

Shit!

It just started,
and then it wouldn't stop.

Jesus fucking Christ.

All the blood we drain
must have backed up

- into the rest of the house's plumbing.
- After we spent $38,000

for a whole new system
less than two years ago?!

Should I call
the plumber?

Yes, tell him
it's an emergency!

And don't let anybody
use the bathroom!

- Oh, this is so gross.
- What do you think you're doing?

Taking pictures.

This is like right
out of "The Shining."

This is not cool
or legal! Stop it!

What bug crawled up
your ass?

This is our
family business, Claire,

even if I'm the only
one in the family

who gives
a shit anymore.

Well, what if
you need photos

for the insurance company
or something?

All right,
take some more,

but this is not
an art project.

Okay, here we go.

Whoo! Oh!

Good job.

All right, all right.

Good job.

Well, whoever did
your last job

cut some corners by using PVC
instead of copper, and that's not good.

Then you had your drainage line
bursting and backing up

into your septic.
Once that happened,

everything kind of
went to hell from there.

But I replaced all your
busted PVC with copper,

and you should
be okay.

I just need you
to initial here,

here,
and sign here.

Thanks for
coming so quickly.

Hey, that's...

that's what
I'm here for.

Is something wrong?

No.

I'm doing
something wrong?

No, not at all.

Am I?

Not at all.

It's a little weird,
isn't it?

It's always weird
in the beginning.

Is this more weird
or less weird?

You want me
to compare?

No. I mean, yes.

I do, I do,

only if it's
a favorable comparison.

This is fine.

- Oh, good.
- Is it good for you?

- Yes, definitely.
- Good, I'm glad.

- I think we're talking too much.
- Yes.

I really like you,
Brenda.

We're definitely
talking too much.

You certainly do have
a lot of hair in your ears.

I still have
no idea why

from an evolutionary
perspective,

homo sapiens get hairier
the older they get.

You have such an interesting way
of looking at the world.

Ruth, I have the feeling

that your children
don't care all that much for me.

That's not true.

Perhaps you try a bit
too hard with them.

I'm just trying to have
a relationship with them,

that's all.

I hate to say this,
but I'm finding your family

a little difficult
to connect with.

Turn your head,
please.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe if I didn't
try so hard.

I love you just
the way you are.

And sooner or later

everyone else in this family
will love you, too.

I quit my job.

I quit my whole
fucking life.

You didn't quit,
you got fired.

I guess
maybe I did, yeah.

It may not have been
the best thing that ever happened to me,

but it was
right up there.

Getting married,
becoming a father,

getting creamed
by a bus...

those are some of
life's big moments.

You were never cut out
for this business.

That's what
I've been thinking.

I mean, it's all a bunch
of bullshit, right?

Sometimes, yes;
sometimes, no.

Sometimes I'd even
surprise myself

at how heartfelt I'd find myself
in a given situation,

and then sometimes
you just say the words

and hope nobody realizes that you're
completely full of crap.

It happens
to the best of us.

But you're probably
better off.

I'd give anything
if Lisa hadn't died.

But then again,
when she was here,

I just wanted
to be free.

You coming inside?

No.

Not today.

This one?

- She's a keeper.
- Yeah, isn't she though?

Whatever you do,
don't fuck that up.

You take care of
yourself, buddy boy.

What do
we have here?

Come on.

So you still haven't
even seen Cameron Diaz?

It's only been two days.
She's very private.

Apparently so.

It's a glamorous job,
what can I say?

You like the guys
you're working with?

They're okay.

I got a blowjob today.

You did not.

I did.

From who?

From the plumber.

You got a blowjob
from a plumber?

His name was Andy.

A white guy?

Yeah, he was good
with a wrench.

- Did you return the favor?
- No!

You better not think
you're getting out

of having sex
with me tonight.

Okay, but I might
need you to talk about

water rams
and hand snakes.

Do you suppose it might be
a late wedding present?

Well, there's
no return address.

What is it?

I believe
it's feces.

Feces?!

Who in the world would send
you feces in the mail?

I don't know.

Look at this, Maya,
somebody sent Grandpa

a big steaming
pile of dookie.

Wait. Don't throw it away
before I can get my camera.

# Looking at the devil #

# Grinning at his gun #

# Fingers start shaking #

# I begin to run #

# Bullets start chasing #

# I begin to stop #

# We begin to wrestle #

# I was on the top #

# I want to thank you #

# For letting me #

# Be myself again #