Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 6, Episode 2 - Stop in the Name of Fun - full transcript
A college talent contest turns to a battle of wills between the twins when Tia the perfectionist agrees to direct Tamera, Diavian and Simone's girl-group routine. Meanwhile, Tyreke and Lisa attend a time-share seminar in search of free gifts.
Tia, "insidious."
Is it with a d-i or a d-e?
D-i.
Guys, come on.
- Chud? That fool just jammed
- the fifth-floor coke machine.
- Nothing but cans
- rolling down the hall.
Sounds like a party to me.
Anything caffeine-free
and sugar-free is mine.
- Didn't your hear the man,
- Simone?
He said they're all free.
- Tia.
- Forget the Greek classics.
- You don't want to end up sipping
- on a warm can of yoo-hoo.
- Girl, I am not leaving
- homework hanging
For a jacked-up can of coke.
- I bet you wouldn't stop
- studying if you wanted to.
Tamera, please.
I am perfectly capable
of putting this down
and walking right out of here.
-I don't think so.
You are so immature.
Na, na, na, na, na,
Tia can't do it.
Shoot...
- -i can leave whenever I want.
- Okay.
I'm about to go get my burp on.
- Now that's what
- I'm talking about.
Oh...
Back away from the laptop.
♪ I do my own style
in my own time ♪
♪ how different
we have come to be ♪
♪ even though I'm glad
to be with you ♪
- ♪ I got to feel
- what's real for me ♪
- ♪ like you got to do
- what's right for you ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
oh, oh, oh ♪
Mom! You made me
highlight something
I didn't need to remember.
Tia, give your brain a break.
Ooh, that book's got more
highlights than Mary j. Blige.
- Mom, I just want to be ready
- for anything.
- Tia, you're in college,
- not prison.
Relax. Go take a 30 in the yard.
Mom. In college,
- there's a whole new level
- of responsibility.
♪ Come on, boy
and see about me ♪
What level are they on?
So. How do we sound?
Well, I wouldn't boo you
at the Apollo.
Well, what's going on?
- Oh, we're forming a girl group
- for Michigan's talent showcase
- And we figure nobody
- will be doing the supremes.
- Yeah. They're so old school,
- you know.
- Watch out, now.
- I went to that school.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We like them, too.
And, um, we sure could use
a lead singer, miss Ross.
Girl, I am not wasting
my valuable study time
on campus shenanigans.
Whoa... shenanigans?
Whoo, talk about old school.
Tia, you seriously
need to lighten up.
- You do realize
- that's an oxymoron.
Of course, I do.
I'll explain it in the car.
What's up, y'all?
- Hey, um, if you're here
- to see Tia
- I hope you
- brought your thesaurus.
Hey, tyreke.
- Oh, hey, Ms. Lisa, oh,
- I brought over
Ray's mail from the office.
- He comes back from that
- 100 black man convention
- -on Tuesday, right?
- -Mm-hmm.
Unless they stumble across
a hundred black women.
- Baby, check out this
- promotion I got in the mail
From the crest at lakeside.
- Now, we can spend all day
- Saturday at the resort for free.
- All right. They got swimming,
- tennis and sailing.
Oh. It looks fun, but, um,
- I have to study
- for my Greek culture exam.
I'm sorry.
- Tia, even Helen of Troy
- took time out
- To horse around
- with the trojans.
That's good.
That's good.
Look, I'm really sorry, Ty,
- but I have to go
- to euro history.
- If you're there early,
- you can sit next to the map.
-Well, there goes my weekend.
-Oh. Don't take it personally.
She's always been a study bug.
- She was the only child
- in kindergarten
Who knew her abcs,
backwards. In Latin.
- It's just that
- this is such a sweet deal.
- Every couple
- that shows up on Saturday
Gets a new Jeep wrangler,
color TV or a classic timepiece.
Tyreke, you know,
I've been around.
I know that's right.
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
No, no. I mean,
- I know that you're
- sophisticated, Ms. Landry.
- Tyreke, those people just want
- to get you up there,
- Sucker you
- into buying a time-share
And then hand you a swatch.
What kind of swatch?
It doesn't matter what kind.
- -It's all a scam.
- -So I should just Chuck it.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course, now, if it was me
I could go up to that resort,
- oh, and get pampered
- with a manicure,
Pedicure, full-body massage
enjoy myself a lobster buffet
- then turn on the charm,
- get my free gift and git.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
- Why don't you come with me
- on Saturday?
Yeah, yeah.
- You can turn on your charm,
- I can get my free swatch.
Well, maybe it is time
that I start
handing down my skills.
- What's the first thing
- that I need to know?
If we win that Jeep, it's mine.
Tamera, you didn't tell me
- your man was in charge
- of the show.
- Girl,
- I don't tell you everything.
Yes, you do.
- Simone,
- I didn't know, all right?
Now, let's just sign up.
-Hey, Jordan.
-Hey, yourself. Hey, ladies.
What's that sweet smell?
- Oh, just a little
- something-something
My man got for me.
-Well, your man has good taste.
-Excuse me, will and Jada.
Uh, but some of us are here
to sign up for the talent show?
- Look here, Simone, don't make me
- get jiggy with you.
- Just put us down
- in the girl group category.
We're the simones.
We're the whats?
You know, girl, the...
The... the simones.
What are you talking about?
- You told me
- we needed another person.
- Now,
- I had to promise her something.
- Why didn't you tell her
- we'd wash her car?
Don't make plans for Sunday.
One, two, three, four. Ooh-ah.
- Chooga-chooga, cha.
- Chooga-chooga, cha.
Chooga-chooga, cha.
Switch.
- Chooga-chooga, cha.
- Chooga-chooga, cha.
Chooga-chooga, cha.
- Hold it, lord of the dance.
- New moves?
- Yeah, what was wrong with
- the old moves I put together?
No offense, diavian,
- but your routine
- was a little dry.
-Oh, so I'm dry?
-Uh. Can you say Sahara?
Well, at least I wasn't
the one singing all off-key.
- I know she isn't talking
- about me.
- No, she's talking
- about leanne rimes.
It's not my voice!
She's got two left feet!
Oh, what. You should know,
- since you keep
- stepping on them.
-I do not!
-Hey, hey. Hey!
- Can I make a suggestion
- about the song?
- What?
- -Practice it someplace else.
- Like she knows anything
- about good music.
Well, I know you're singing
in the wrong tempo.
And your routine... it's too...
It's too complicated.
- Make it simple.
- Something like this.
Bam! Bam! Da-da-da!
Slide... snap!
And Simone, you're Diana Ross.
- Let the other two
- do all the dancing.
- You stand there
- and act like you all of that.
Finally. Some direction
I can work with.
- Tia, those steps were
- way better than mine.
Uh-huh.
Tia, you know what we need?
- New fingers,
- if you don't get your hand
Out of my book.
- -Direction.
- -Forget it. Give me my book...
Oh, please, Tia, with your help
- we can knock this show
- out the box.
- Would you please
- give me my book?
Okay. And if you don't help us,
- we'll be arguing
- for the next three days
- And you'll never get
- any of your work done.
Please?
If I do it...
You girls have to promise
- to rehearse
- around my study schedule.
Absolutely.
- Now, remember, tyreke,
- we are all about the prizes...
- The prizes.
- So, when we get to that resort
- -you let me do the talking.
- -But I get the swatch, right?
Yeah!
- Whatever is it they're selling
- we are not buying.
Excuse me.
- Oh, boy, get your butt
- in the car.
- And you get your butt
- covered up.
Mom, I'm rehearsing.
- Hey, baby, I'll see you tonight
- at the show.
- -Bye. Have fun.
- -Bye, sweetie.
- The next honk you hear
- in that driveway
Will be a new Jeep.
But I get the swatch, right?
- Oh, boy,
- shut up about that toy watch.
Finally!
Now can we please start?
-Can I eat first?
-No time.
We are already
20 minutes behind.
-Practice first, eat later.
-Should we breathe later, too?
What's that supposed to mean?
It's a talent show,
not the Olympics.
- And since it's tonight,
- we should be relaxing.
Yeah, Tia, you've been riding
us for three days. Chill.
You got big dreams?
You want fame?
Well, fame costs.
- And right here
- is where you start paying
In sweat.
- Does this mean we have to go
- out in the street
And dance on a cab?
Guys, check it out.
Mtv s going to televise
the talent show.
-Mtv? You are lying!
Hey, if I'm a liar,
then I'm a liar with a badge.
-Watch it. Don't touch.
-Oh, please.
- Please!
- Everybody's got a laminator.
Why would mtv come here?
To see you.
- They're doing a profile
- on fifth-year seniors
- Who have no chance
- of graduating.
- No, no, really, Jordan.
- What is it?
- It's part
- of their big ten-campus tour.
- They heard about the show
- and they decided to hook us up.
- You mean we're going
- to sing on TV?
And best of all,
the winners get to ride
on the mtv party bus.
Oh. The bus? I call shotgun.
If you guys get on the bus,
we all get on the bus.
- -So show me what you got.
- -Okay.
Let's take it from the top.
No, no, no. Wait!
- We've got to go over it
- at least a dozen more times.
Oh, well, in that case,
- I'll go over to Mickey d's
- and super-size something.
Anybody got 39 cents?
Okay, just go.
- Can you bring us back
- some fries?
Forget the fries. This is TV.
- We've got to get busy,
- the fun is over.
When did we start having fun?
From the top.
-Five, six, seven, eight!
Watch the arms! Watch the arms!
♪ I want to keep sighin',
baby, for you ♪
Now, make this sharp!
♪ Come on, boy
and see about me ♪
Turn.
-Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
-Are you hurt?
- Is there another definition
- of "ow"?
- There's no way she can dance
- on this ankle tonight.
No kidding, Dr. Quinn.
Well, I was pre-med
for two days.
- -Let's go get some ice.
- -Okay.
- I guess,
- we can kiss mtv good-bye.
Well, thanks a lot, Tia.
- If you hadn't of
- pushed us so hard
- Maybe this
- wouldn't have happened.
- Well,
- I thought you wanted to win.
We wanted to have fun.
- But you wouldn't know
- anything about that, would you?
I mean, 'cause with you,
it's either all or nothing.
- -Excuse me, girls...
- -not now, Simone.
Look, I didn't even
want to do this.
But you begged me
to bail you out,
just like always.
- And you had to
- take it overboard,
Just like always.
- -Girls, if you could just...
- Not now!
Well, here's something
I don't always do.
Leave you hanging. See ya.
Oh, please.
Like somebody needs her.
I need her.
I need somebody.
Help?
- Don't go nowhere,
- 'cause we'll be right back
- All the way live
- from the university of Michigan
On mtv's big ten bus tour.
Bye-bye, bus.
Ow! I'll never dance again!
You barely danced before.
Like, I am the victim.
Can we get back to blaming Tia?
Okay, ladies,
the party bus has pulled up.
Then tell it to keep on going.
What happened?
- Ask my take-over, suck-all-
- the-fun-out-of-everything
- Drill sergeant,
- Debbie-Allen-wannabe twin.
Bye-bye, bus.
Okay, okay,
so you don't do the show.
- It's all good.
- It's all good, you know.
It doesn't mean it's over.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Doesn't mean it's over.
Let me think. I'm brainstorming.
- I'm brainstorming.
- I'm brainstorming.
Work with me! Work with me!
I got it!
- And you guys
- are going to love it.
-Ow!
- Why don't y'all back up,
- watch me do my thang?
♪ But tears won't wash away
the fear ♪
Cape now, ladies!
Cape! Ladies, cape.
Go on and be that way.
Holding me back anyway. Shoot.
Okay, we just mingle a minute
- and then we head over
- to the buffet.
Right. Mix, then grub. I got it.
Pot sticker?
No, thank you.
- We want to save room
- for the free lobster.
Oh.
- See, tyreke, that's one
- of their strategies...
- Try to fill you up
- with free food
And get you so tired
that you'll sign anything
they put under your nose.
Tyreke. Ty... tyreke! Tyreke!
What are you doing over here?
Listening to the many joys
of the time-share.
- -Like I was telling your son...
- -husband.
Well.
- Like I was telling
- your husband
All you really need
is a modest down payment
and you are on your way
to enjoying your own luxurious
love nest.
Two weeks. Every year.
Where do I sign?
- Uh. He doesn't know
- what he's saying.
- He gets that way when he goes
- too long without lobster.
Oh, I understand. No pressure.
- We just want our guests
- to enjoy themselves
- Here at the crest.
- Let me just get my manager
- And he will work out
- your gift arrangements.
- -Thank you, Monique.
- -Mm-hmm.
Here comes my swatch!
- And here comes
- the back of my hand.
- Don't you see
- what they're trying to do?
- They send over
- a little miss thighmaster
- Until you're ready to sell
- a kidney to get that condo.
But they did not count
on Lisa Landry.
- That little sales
- ploy won't work here.
- I know every trick in the book
- and we are going to get...
Excuse me?
Oh. Oh, Lisa Landry.
And you are?
The manager, armondi.
Armondi...
- Kind of just rolls
- off your tongue, doesn't it?
Armondi...
- Yeah, you know,
- of course it does
When you say it like that.
Monique tells me that
you folks aren't sold
on our time-share opportunities.
- Perhaps,
- I can answer your questions.
- You know, I'm sorry, sport
- but the little lady and I...
- Well,
- we don't have any questions.
- If you could just
- fork over my swatch...
- Hush up, child. Don't you see
- grown folks talking?
You were saying, armondi?
♪ Smiles have
all turned to tears ♪
♪ but tears won't
wash away the fear ♪
♪ that you're never
ever gonna turn ♪
♪ to ease the fire
that within me burns ♪
♪ keeps me cryin'
baby, for you ♪
♪ it keeps me sighin'
baby, for you ♪
♪ Come on, boy
and see about me ♪
- I guess,
- I got a little out of control.
A little?
Okay!
I went straight crazy.
-So how's Simone?
-Angry and bitter.
-I meant her ankle.
She's got another one.
I really am sorry, tamera.
- I wish that there was something
- I could do.
Well...
There is one thing...
Miss Ross.
- -Girl, let's get on that bus!
- -Yes!
- Only...
- Let's do a different song.
- But we don't have time
- to rehearse a new song.
Who's talking about rehearsing?
I'm talking
about having some fun!
Girl!
Oh.
-Mtv's in the house!
- Now,
- they may have the real world
But we have the real girls.
Put your hands together
for the simones.
♪ She said love
don't come easy ♪
- ♪ it's just a game
- of give and take ♪
♪ You got to trust
give it time ♪
♪ I remember mama said
you can't hurry love ♪
♪ she said love
don't come easy ♪
♪ it's just a game
of give and take ♪
♪ She said love
don't come easy ♪
- ♪ it's just a game
- of give and take ♪
♪ You got to trust
give it time ♪
♪ She said love
don't come easy ♪
- ♪ it's just a game
- of give and take ♪
♪ You can't hurry love
yeah, yeah. ♪
- Now, you see, tyreke
- it's one of their strategies.
Fill you up on food,
get you good...
Get you so tired.
Get you good and tired.
-Give me my book.
-And if you keep...
- We'll keep arguing
- for the next three days
- And you'll never
- get any work done.
What?
- There's a whole new level
- of responsibility.
Is it with a d-i or a d-e?
D-i.
Guys, come on.
- Chud? That fool just jammed
- the fifth-floor coke machine.
- Nothing but cans
- rolling down the hall.
Sounds like a party to me.
Anything caffeine-free
and sugar-free is mine.
- Didn't your hear the man,
- Simone?
He said they're all free.
- Tia.
- Forget the Greek classics.
- You don't want to end up sipping
- on a warm can of yoo-hoo.
- Girl, I am not leaving
- homework hanging
For a jacked-up can of coke.
- I bet you wouldn't stop
- studying if you wanted to.
Tamera, please.
I am perfectly capable
of putting this down
and walking right out of here.
-I don't think so.
You are so immature.
Na, na, na, na, na,
Tia can't do it.
Shoot...
- -i can leave whenever I want.
- Okay.
I'm about to go get my burp on.
- Now that's what
- I'm talking about.
Oh...
Back away from the laptop.
♪ I do my own style
in my own time ♪
♪ how different
we have come to be ♪
♪ even though I'm glad
to be with you ♪
- ♪ I got to feel
- what's real for me ♪
- ♪ like you got to do
- what's right for you ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
oh, oh, oh ♪
Mom! You made me
highlight something
I didn't need to remember.
Tia, give your brain a break.
Ooh, that book's got more
highlights than Mary j. Blige.
- Mom, I just want to be ready
- for anything.
- Tia, you're in college,
- not prison.
Relax. Go take a 30 in the yard.
Mom. In college,
- there's a whole new level
- of responsibility.
♪ Come on, boy
and see about me ♪
What level are they on?
So. How do we sound?
Well, I wouldn't boo you
at the Apollo.
Well, what's going on?
- Oh, we're forming a girl group
- for Michigan's talent showcase
- And we figure nobody
- will be doing the supremes.
- Yeah. They're so old school,
- you know.
- Watch out, now.
- I went to that school.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We like them, too.
And, um, we sure could use
a lead singer, miss Ross.
Girl, I am not wasting
my valuable study time
on campus shenanigans.
Whoa... shenanigans?
Whoo, talk about old school.
Tia, you seriously
need to lighten up.
- You do realize
- that's an oxymoron.
Of course, I do.
I'll explain it in the car.
What's up, y'all?
- Hey, um, if you're here
- to see Tia
- I hope you
- brought your thesaurus.
Hey, tyreke.
- Oh, hey, Ms. Lisa, oh,
- I brought over
Ray's mail from the office.
- He comes back from that
- 100 black man convention
- -on Tuesday, right?
- -Mm-hmm.
Unless they stumble across
a hundred black women.
- Baby, check out this
- promotion I got in the mail
From the crest at lakeside.
- Now, we can spend all day
- Saturday at the resort for free.
- All right. They got swimming,
- tennis and sailing.
Oh. It looks fun, but, um,
- I have to study
- for my Greek culture exam.
I'm sorry.
- Tia, even Helen of Troy
- took time out
- To horse around
- with the trojans.
That's good.
That's good.
Look, I'm really sorry, Ty,
- but I have to go
- to euro history.
- If you're there early,
- you can sit next to the map.
-Well, there goes my weekend.
-Oh. Don't take it personally.
She's always been a study bug.
- She was the only child
- in kindergarten
Who knew her abcs,
backwards. In Latin.
- It's just that
- this is such a sweet deal.
- Every couple
- that shows up on Saturday
Gets a new Jeep wrangler,
color TV or a classic timepiece.
Tyreke, you know,
I've been around.
I know that's right.
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
No, no. I mean,
- I know that you're
- sophisticated, Ms. Landry.
- Tyreke, those people just want
- to get you up there,
- Sucker you
- into buying a time-share
And then hand you a swatch.
What kind of swatch?
It doesn't matter what kind.
- -It's all a scam.
- -So I should just Chuck it.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course, now, if it was me
I could go up to that resort,
- oh, and get pampered
- with a manicure,
Pedicure, full-body massage
enjoy myself a lobster buffet
- then turn on the charm,
- get my free gift and git.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
- Why don't you come with me
- on Saturday?
Yeah, yeah.
- You can turn on your charm,
- I can get my free swatch.
Well, maybe it is time
that I start
handing down my skills.
- What's the first thing
- that I need to know?
If we win that Jeep, it's mine.
Tamera, you didn't tell me
- your man was in charge
- of the show.
- Girl,
- I don't tell you everything.
Yes, you do.
- Simone,
- I didn't know, all right?
Now, let's just sign up.
-Hey, Jordan.
-Hey, yourself. Hey, ladies.
What's that sweet smell?
- Oh, just a little
- something-something
My man got for me.
-Well, your man has good taste.
-Excuse me, will and Jada.
Uh, but some of us are here
to sign up for the talent show?
- Look here, Simone, don't make me
- get jiggy with you.
- Just put us down
- in the girl group category.
We're the simones.
We're the whats?
You know, girl, the...
The... the simones.
What are you talking about?
- You told me
- we needed another person.
- Now,
- I had to promise her something.
- Why didn't you tell her
- we'd wash her car?
Don't make plans for Sunday.
One, two, three, four. Ooh-ah.
- Chooga-chooga, cha.
- Chooga-chooga, cha.
Chooga-chooga, cha.
Switch.
- Chooga-chooga, cha.
- Chooga-chooga, cha.
Chooga-chooga, cha.
- Hold it, lord of the dance.
- New moves?
- Yeah, what was wrong with
- the old moves I put together?
No offense, diavian,
- but your routine
- was a little dry.
-Oh, so I'm dry?
-Uh. Can you say Sahara?
Well, at least I wasn't
the one singing all off-key.
- I know she isn't talking
- about me.
- No, she's talking
- about leanne rimes.
It's not my voice!
She's got two left feet!
Oh, what. You should know,
- since you keep
- stepping on them.
-I do not!
-Hey, hey. Hey!
- Can I make a suggestion
- about the song?
- What?
- -Practice it someplace else.
- Like she knows anything
- about good music.
Well, I know you're singing
in the wrong tempo.
And your routine... it's too...
It's too complicated.
- Make it simple.
- Something like this.
Bam! Bam! Da-da-da!
Slide... snap!
And Simone, you're Diana Ross.
- Let the other two
- do all the dancing.
- You stand there
- and act like you all of that.
Finally. Some direction
I can work with.
- Tia, those steps were
- way better than mine.
Uh-huh.
Tia, you know what we need?
- New fingers,
- if you don't get your hand
Out of my book.
- -Direction.
- -Forget it. Give me my book...
Oh, please, Tia, with your help
- we can knock this show
- out the box.
- Would you please
- give me my book?
Okay. And if you don't help us,
- we'll be arguing
- for the next three days
- And you'll never get
- any of your work done.
Please?
If I do it...
You girls have to promise
- to rehearse
- around my study schedule.
Absolutely.
- Now, remember, tyreke,
- we are all about the prizes...
- The prizes.
- So, when we get to that resort
- -you let me do the talking.
- -But I get the swatch, right?
Yeah!
- Whatever is it they're selling
- we are not buying.
Excuse me.
- Oh, boy, get your butt
- in the car.
- And you get your butt
- covered up.
Mom, I'm rehearsing.
- Hey, baby, I'll see you tonight
- at the show.
- -Bye. Have fun.
- -Bye, sweetie.
- The next honk you hear
- in that driveway
Will be a new Jeep.
But I get the swatch, right?
- Oh, boy,
- shut up about that toy watch.
Finally!
Now can we please start?
-Can I eat first?
-No time.
We are already
20 minutes behind.
-Practice first, eat later.
-Should we breathe later, too?
What's that supposed to mean?
It's a talent show,
not the Olympics.
- And since it's tonight,
- we should be relaxing.
Yeah, Tia, you've been riding
us for three days. Chill.
You got big dreams?
You want fame?
Well, fame costs.
- And right here
- is where you start paying
In sweat.
- Does this mean we have to go
- out in the street
And dance on a cab?
Guys, check it out.
Mtv s going to televise
the talent show.
-Mtv? You are lying!
Hey, if I'm a liar,
then I'm a liar with a badge.
-Watch it. Don't touch.
-Oh, please.
- Please!
- Everybody's got a laminator.
Why would mtv come here?
To see you.
- They're doing a profile
- on fifth-year seniors
- Who have no chance
- of graduating.
- No, no, really, Jordan.
- What is it?
- It's part
- of their big ten-campus tour.
- They heard about the show
- and they decided to hook us up.
- You mean we're going
- to sing on TV?
And best of all,
the winners get to ride
on the mtv party bus.
Oh. The bus? I call shotgun.
If you guys get on the bus,
we all get on the bus.
- -So show me what you got.
- -Okay.
Let's take it from the top.
No, no, no. Wait!
- We've got to go over it
- at least a dozen more times.
Oh, well, in that case,
- I'll go over to Mickey d's
- and super-size something.
Anybody got 39 cents?
Okay, just go.
- Can you bring us back
- some fries?
Forget the fries. This is TV.
- We've got to get busy,
- the fun is over.
When did we start having fun?
From the top.
-Five, six, seven, eight!
Watch the arms! Watch the arms!
♪ I want to keep sighin',
baby, for you ♪
Now, make this sharp!
♪ Come on, boy
and see about me ♪
Turn.
-Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
-Are you hurt?
- Is there another definition
- of "ow"?
- There's no way she can dance
- on this ankle tonight.
No kidding, Dr. Quinn.
Well, I was pre-med
for two days.
- -Let's go get some ice.
- -Okay.
- I guess,
- we can kiss mtv good-bye.
Well, thanks a lot, Tia.
- If you hadn't of
- pushed us so hard
- Maybe this
- wouldn't have happened.
- Well,
- I thought you wanted to win.
We wanted to have fun.
- But you wouldn't know
- anything about that, would you?
I mean, 'cause with you,
it's either all or nothing.
- -Excuse me, girls...
- -not now, Simone.
Look, I didn't even
want to do this.
But you begged me
to bail you out,
just like always.
- And you had to
- take it overboard,
Just like always.
- -Girls, if you could just...
- Not now!
Well, here's something
I don't always do.
Leave you hanging. See ya.
Oh, please.
Like somebody needs her.
I need her.
I need somebody.
Help?
- Don't go nowhere,
- 'cause we'll be right back
- All the way live
- from the university of Michigan
On mtv's big ten bus tour.
Bye-bye, bus.
Ow! I'll never dance again!
You barely danced before.
Like, I am the victim.
Can we get back to blaming Tia?
Okay, ladies,
the party bus has pulled up.
Then tell it to keep on going.
What happened?
- Ask my take-over, suck-all-
- the-fun-out-of-everything
- Drill sergeant,
- Debbie-Allen-wannabe twin.
Bye-bye, bus.
Okay, okay,
so you don't do the show.
- It's all good.
- It's all good, you know.
It doesn't mean it's over.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Doesn't mean it's over.
Let me think. I'm brainstorming.
- I'm brainstorming.
- I'm brainstorming.
Work with me! Work with me!
I got it!
- And you guys
- are going to love it.
-Ow!
- Why don't y'all back up,
- watch me do my thang?
♪ But tears won't wash away
the fear ♪
Cape now, ladies!
Cape! Ladies, cape.
Go on and be that way.
Holding me back anyway. Shoot.
Okay, we just mingle a minute
- and then we head over
- to the buffet.
Right. Mix, then grub. I got it.
Pot sticker?
No, thank you.
- We want to save room
- for the free lobster.
Oh.
- See, tyreke, that's one
- of their strategies...
- Try to fill you up
- with free food
And get you so tired
that you'll sign anything
they put under your nose.
Tyreke. Ty... tyreke! Tyreke!
What are you doing over here?
Listening to the many joys
of the time-share.
- -Like I was telling your son...
- -husband.
Well.
- Like I was telling
- your husband
All you really need
is a modest down payment
and you are on your way
to enjoying your own luxurious
love nest.
Two weeks. Every year.
Where do I sign?
- Uh. He doesn't know
- what he's saying.
- He gets that way when he goes
- too long without lobster.
Oh, I understand. No pressure.
- We just want our guests
- to enjoy themselves
- Here at the crest.
- Let me just get my manager
- And he will work out
- your gift arrangements.
- -Thank you, Monique.
- -Mm-hmm.
Here comes my swatch!
- And here comes
- the back of my hand.
- Don't you see
- what they're trying to do?
- They send over
- a little miss thighmaster
- Until you're ready to sell
- a kidney to get that condo.
But they did not count
on Lisa Landry.
- That little sales
- ploy won't work here.
- I know every trick in the book
- and we are going to get...
Excuse me?
Oh. Oh, Lisa Landry.
And you are?
The manager, armondi.
Armondi...
- Kind of just rolls
- off your tongue, doesn't it?
Armondi...
- Yeah, you know,
- of course it does
When you say it like that.
Monique tells me that
you folks aren't sold
on our time-share opportunities.
- Perhaps,
- I can answer your questions.
- You know, I'm sorry, sport
- but the little lady and I...
- Well,
- we don't have any questions.
- If you could just
- fork over my swatch...
- Hush up, child. Don't you see
- grown folks talking?
You were saying, armondi?
♪ Smiles have
all turned to tears ♪
♪ but tears won't
wash away the fear ♪
♪ that you're never
ever gonna turn ♪
♪ to ease the fire
that within me burns ♪
♪ keeps me cryin'
baby, for you ♪
♪ it keeps me sighin'
baby, for you ♪
♪ Come on, boy
and see about me ♪
- I guess,
- I got a little out of control.
A little?
Okay!
I went straight crazy.
-So how's Simone?
-Angry and bitter.
-I meant her ankle.
She's got another one.
I really am sorry, tamera.
- I wish that there was something
- I could do.
Well...
There is one thing...
Miss Ross.
- -Girl, let's get on that bus!
- -Yes!
- Only...
- Let's do a different song.
- But we don't have time
- to rehearse a new song.
Who's talking about rehearsing?
I'm talking
about having some fun!
Girl!
Oh.
-Mtv's in the house!
- Now,
- they may have the real world
But we have the real girls.
Put your hands together
for the simones.
♪ She said love
don't come easy ♪
- ♪ it's just a game
- of give and take ♪
♪ You got to trust
give it time ♪
♪ I remember mama said
you can't hurry love ♪
♪ she said love
don't come easy ♪
♪ it's just a game
of give and take ♪
♪ She said love
don't come easy ♪
- ♪ it's just a game
- of give and take ♪
♪ You got to trust
give it time ♪
♪ She said love
don't come easy ♪
- ♪ it's just a game
- of give and take ♪
♪ You can't hurry love
yeah, yeah. ♪
- Now, you see, tyreke
- it's one of their strategies.
Fill you up on food,
get you good...
Get you so tired.
Get you good and tired.
-Give me my book.
-And if you keep...
- We'll keep arguing
- for the next three days
- And you'll never
- get any work done.
What?
- There's a whole new level
- of responsibility.