Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 6, Episode 1 - Home Sweet Dorm - full transcript
Tia and Tamera encounter housing problems at college; Ray looks forward to remodeling their room.
Morning, coeds. Car all packed?
- Yep. All packed
- and ready to go.
Amazing how much
stuff you can pile
on a luggage rack.
I hope you tied everything down.
- We were supposed
- to tie it?
- I'm just
- kidding, dad.
Well, I'm checking.
Ray! It's all covered.
We can do this.
Yeah. We're
practically adults now.
Who could argue with that?
Oh, my babies!
Oh, my precious babies!
My babies are leaving home!
- Can you pull up
- on the love?
- Mommy, the - university
- Of Michigan
- Is only 45
- minutes away.
We'll be back
every time we
need clean laundry.
Or clean money.
- And i'm
- cleaned out.
Well, sis, let's roll!
Bye, mommy.
At least let me
squeeze you some orange juice.
Bye, daddy.
- I can't wait to hear
- about your first day.
- Call us tonight,
- but don't call collect.
- I have
- a calling card
- And I'm not afraid
- to use it.
I got grits!
Drive carefully.
How about a hot link?
Hot link to go!
Lisa, turn off the stove.
The girls are gone.
I know.
- We've raised two
- wonderful young ladies.
I know.
Now it's just you and I.
I know.
♪ I do my own style
in my own time ♪
♪ how different
we have come to be ♪
♪ even though I'm glad
to be with you ♪
♪ I got to feel
what's real for me ♪
♪ like you got to do
what's right for you ♪
Ow! My hand!
My hand! Ahh!
Whoo! We're here.
Check this place out.
Man, they're hooked up.
- They got everything, man:
- A pool table...
They got a big-screen TV.
Gorgeous football players
hanging out in the lounge.
Man, I heard
Hudson hall was all that
but I did not know
that it was all this!
Tia, it's bigger
than our bedrooms at home!
This is bigger than my home.
And this is just
our half of the suite.
- Our roommates
- are on the other side
Of the private
bathroom.
I have a private
bathroom, too.
It's just for me
and the other 50 people
on the floor.
Hey, Bo, look at who
we got for roommates.
Twins.
Bo likes twins.
Oh, yes.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I got it!
Hey. I'm from
applegate appliance.
I've got a 60-inch
wide-screen TV
for ray Campbell.
Yeah. You're early.
You have a Dolly?
- It goes upstairs
- in my daughter's old bedroom.
Hmm. Nice house
you got here, my man.
- If my wife and I
- could get our credit...
- Lisa:
- Ray!
Uh... hold that thought.
Ray. Oh, ray, look
at this photo of our babies
at their birthday party.
Don't they look precious
- in their sweet
- little dresses
- And their cute
- little shoes?
- Lisa, that was
- just last year.
- Don't bring
- me down, ray.
Who was at the door?
Oh, nobody.
- Sounds like
- nobody's back.
- Uh... wait.
- Want to watch
- Some home movies
- of the girls?
- No. I saw them
- all last night.
- Look, you want
- this wide-screen
TV or not?
Wide-screen TV?
Must be some
kind of a mistake.
- You just said
- you wanted it upstairs
In your daughter's old bedroom.
Ray Campbell!
- Your baby girl
- just moved out
And you're already
turning her bedroom
- into your
- personal cineplex?
It's how I'm coping
with the pain.
Join a support group.
Lisa, you know
that was my den before
it became tamera's bedroom.
She would have
wanted me to have it.
She's in college,
not dead.
Is it in or out?
Out!
In!
Lisa, the girls are gone.
- They'll be back
- home every weekend.
We have a huge guest bedroom.
Then stick
wide-zilla in there.
There's too many windows.
Tamera's room is the only one
that has enough wall space.
I need those extra outlets for
the DVD, the dss and the VCR.
Okay, r-a-y, it's your house.
It's your decision.
Well, thank you.
But if you want your
baby girl coming home
- and finding herself
- evicted from her bedroom
At a time in her life
when she is vulnerable
frightened and all alone
- in this cold,
- cruel world
Then just bring in
that big screen.
Forget it!
I'm not going to
be a part of this.
I got a little girl myself.
How can you sleep
at night, man?
I won't be watching
a big-screen TV!
- I can't believe
- they put us
- In the jock dorm
- by mistake.
I hope they reassign us to
Buckley with you, diavian.
- Well, this is obviously
- a freshman dorm.
All I've seen is a busted TV,
a ping-pong table with no net
and one dumbbell.
- Boy:
- Who's number one?!
We are, baby!
Number freaking one!
Go, blue!
Make that two dumbbells.
It's going to be a trip
- getting used to guys
- in the same dorm.
- Well, it depends
- on the guy.
I could get
real used to
a daily dose
- of some fine
- college men.
Okay!
Okay!
- Why not
- start with
- The fine college man
- across the hall?
Okay?
Jordan?
Hey, we're on the
same floor? Bet!
Tamera, we have got to get
in this dorm. Where's Ty?
- He's at student aid getting
- his campus job assignment.
- Did campus housing
- find you a new room?
Not yet. They said
they'd have it taken
care of by 3:00.
Go, Michigan!
Go, Michigan!
Go, Michigan! Whoo!
Yeah, go, and find
the rest of your bike.
Bye.
307.
This is it.
Go get 'em.
All right.
Uh...
Hi.
Yes?
Oh, I'm diavian Johnson,
your roommate.
- Wow! I've
- been waiting
A long time to say that.
Well, see, I'm an only child
- so I've always
- wanted somebody
To share things with
and to stay up
all night talking with
- braiding each other's
- hair and stuff
- And here you are,
- my roommate.
God! A freshman!
I requested a senior,
and they sent a freshman.
Ho-ho! Ho-ho!
Double freshmen!
Uh... these are my friends.
- Tia.
- Tamera.
- Great. What did you
- say your name was?
Evian?
No, no, no. Diavian.
Diavian Johnson.
Simone flosser.
You are so lucky
- to have diavian
- as a roommate.
- She's just too
- modest to say so
But she was voted
miss congeniality
at our high school.
And first runner-up
for best-dressed.
- We won.
- We won.
Well, very good
for you, Mary Kate
and Ashley. Ohh!
- You better hope
- Mary Kate holds me back
Because Ashley's about
to break you down!
I've never heard anything
like that in my life!
All righty, then.
Now that we've all been
- properly introduced,
- where should I put my stuff?
- Okay, look,
- this has been my room
- For the past four years.
- Last year...
Wait, wait. Hold up.
If you said you were
a senior last year
- why didn't
- you graduate?
Gee, yeah, I... I don't know.
Maybe because
I loved Michigan so much
I failed chemistry and French
just so I could hang around
for a fifth year.
- No wonder
- she's so bitter.
Okay, look... the window,
both desks, the sink
the top drawers and the shelves
in the closet... all mine.
And what do I get?
The cot in the corner.
Well, that's not fair.
- Well, Simone,
- if you don't mind
- I think we'll
- just go ahead
And take this up with
the resident advisor.
- That's what
- we're going to do
'cause you trifling.
Start talking.
- Hey, ladies, how's
- the new roommate situation?
Great!
Great!
Great!
I'm in college.
I can do whatever I want.
Nobody telling me
to pick up my clothes
or make my bed!
I'm the king of the world!
Jordan, get off that bed!
Man, where's your
home training?
I was checking to see
if the mattress
was a beautyrest.
It ain't.
- That makes sense.
- You know why?
Because you won't be
having any beauties
on it anyway.
- Oh. Oh, you cracking jokes
- like you got a job or something.
Oh, brother, I do.
You looking
at a working man.
- Give me some.
- What?
- Look, I like Michigan
- just as much as the next guy
But get out of my room!
Dude, I'm your roommate!
Excuse me?
Chud mcgraff!
We're roomies!
Jordan Bennett!
Get out!
You're funny, man.
- We're going to get along good,
- me and you.
Hey, check this out.
- Six-packs
- chilling
In the fridge
microwave for all the popcorn
and nachos you can eat
and bootlegged cable.
Hey, I'm with you
- but if they
- catch you
I don't know you.
Catch me? Who?
Campus security?
Everybody knows
those rent-a-cops are a joke.
- Am I right?
- Am I right?
- They can't be
- all that bad.
Aw, man, you must
not live on campus.
No, but I do
work on campus.
Oh, yeah? For who?
I work for
campus security, man
and you got one, two...
About three strikes.
I'm out.
I need your name.
No, man, no.
- I'm feeling,
- I'm feeling betrayed.
Wouldn't it be great
if we got in Buckley
with diavian and Jordan?
- Yeah, but I'll
- settle for anyplace
We don't have to
share a shower
with two jocks.
Man, I can't believe
there was an opening
in the athletic dorm!
Yes! What kind of dummy
gives up a dorm
with a midnight buffet?
Next.
Hi. Uh... remember us...
Landry and Campbell?
- Of course.
- You're the first students
In the history of Michigan
to ask out of Hudson hall.
Which you put us in
by mistake.
Yes. Yes.
That, indeed, was our fault
and we are more than happy
to correct it.
Where did he put us?
The first national
bank of Ann arbor.
What?
It's a refund check.
Wait, wait.
Wait a minute,
mister. Uh...
- We don't
- want a refund.
We want a room.
I'm sorry, ladies, but the dorms
are all booked to capacity.
Where are we
supposed to stay?
I understand the holiday inn
has a two-for-one special.
- Tia:
- Oh, my god!
This campus
needs moving sidewalks.
It's gi-hugic!
- How hard can it be
- to find a place?
- Yeah, I mean, we don't
- take up that much space.
- Tia.
- Hmm?
Don't worry.
- We are going to live
- on this campus.
Nothing and nobody
is going to stop us.
You got that right.
Uh, do you mind?
Don't you two know
it's flu season?
As you were.
Tamera:
Obviously, that guy
at campus housing
had no real power.
All we have to do
is find the person
who's really in charge.
- Okay... hey!
- There's Simone.
- She acts like
- she knows everything.
Well, she should.
- She lived on campus
- forever.
Tamera.
Hi, Simone.
Tia and tamera...
Diavian's friends.
I know who you are.
Stand back.
Why? What's wrong?
- I don't want to be seen
- fraternizing with freshmen.
Aren't you
the resident advisor?
Off duty.
- But, um,
- this is important.
We need your help.
Then act like you're watching
- those guys over there
- playing pool.
You may speak,
but do not look at me.
Okay, then, I'll turn away.
- Look, Simone,
- they messed up at campus housing
- And we don't have
- a dorm room.
You may be in luck.
- I heard a
- couple of dorks
Gave up a great suite
in Hudson hall.
Yeah, we heard that, too.
I think it's taken.
Do you know anybody
on the inside
at campus housing?
There is one guy.
His name is Neidermeyer.
- He's in charge
- of all campus housing.
- He's a dumpy bald guy
- with coke bottle glasses.
That's who we talked to.
He said no go.
And you fell for it?
Oh, you are
such freshmen.
- Your dorm housing letter
- is a binding contract.
- Go back there and don't
- take "no" for an answer.
- We won't.
- Don't leave
Until he finds you a room.
- We won't.
- And whatever you do
Do not take the refund check.
We messed up.
Well, girls, I hear there's
a two-for-one special
at the holiday inn.
Hey, Bo, it's our cute
little dorm honeys.
Bo likes twins.
Bo needs a bigger
vocabulary.
- Hey, guys, how did it go
- at campus housing?
- Maybe we should
- just join the army.
- At least
- they guarantee you
A place to sleep.
- Diavian:
- I'd let you guys
Bunk in with me,
except there isn't room
what, with Simone's attitude
being so big and all.
Oh, heads up, guys.
Officer tyreke.
Okay.
What's up, y'all?
- ♪ Whatcha gonna do
- when they come for you? ♪
All right!
Yes, thank you, thank you.
Very funny.
- I know y'all
- been waiting all day
- For a brother to roll up
- in his uniform
- So y'all could sing
- that song.
You know we have.
- Did you get a new
- housing assignment yet?
Right now we're in,
uh, homeless hall.
Can you use your badge
to kick somebody out
- so tamera and I
- can move in?
No! No, I can't
but I can escort you
to your car.
Oh, good, because
that's where
we'll be living.
Man, I ain't playing.
- Geez... Tia,
- what are we going to do?
I don't know.
Maybe we should
just call mom and ray.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No way.
We are adults now
and the last thing
we're going to do
is go crying
to mommy and daddy.
And now there's no room
for us on campus
and we can't go
to college.
Oh, you're going to college.
But the whole point
of going to college
is living in the dorms.
Don't worry.
- I'll call the university
- and straighten this out.
No, we've already been
to the guy in charge.
- The only thing
- he could do
Was give us back
our money.
Really?
But you don't have
to sound so happy about it.
Girls, girls,
I'm sure we can do something.
Well, now
that you mention it
tamera and I
have been talking.
- We think
- there's a simple solution.
Of course there is.
- We use the dorm money
- to get our own apartment.
- I'm sure
- that's not it.
There is no way you're
getting an apartment
at your age.
Why not?
- You sent us to live
- at the dorm at our age.
What's the difference
- between a dorm
- and an apartment?
- The difference between getting
- straight as and going buck wild.
- You don't expect us
- to move back
- Into our old rooms
- just like high school.
- We'll never learn
- to be independent
- And we'll wind up
- living here
- For the rest
- of our lives.
Nobody wants that.
Can we have an apartment?
Maybe.
Absolutely not.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- She said "maybe" first.
- It's going to have
- to be a small space.
- Would you be willing
- to share a single?
- No problem.
- Same as a dorm.
- It has to be
- someplace safe.
- Absolutely.
- Safety is important.
- Lisa, have you lost
- your mind?
Nope, just my studio.
You can move in there
in the morning.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you talking
about the workroom
above the garage?
- Yes, it's small,
- it's safe...
Costs nothing.
- And is right
- under your noses.
- Well, you said
- you wanted an apartment...
- And you'd have your
- very own entrance.
Yeah, you can come and go
as you please.
That is true.
What do you
think, tamera?
Well, could we have
the same rules as the dorm?
Well, I suppose.
No supposing, dad.
Campus rules apply.
- No questions
- and no curfews.
We expect to be
treated like adults...
By both of you.
Absolutely.
A houseful of adults,
that's what we got here.
Okay, then.
We'll give it a try.
Well, wait a minute.
Where are you going to work?
- Oh, don't worry
- about me.
- I'll just move my work
- someplace else.
Ooh, I know.
Tamera's old bedroom.
- Yes!
- Yes.
That room has more wall space
than any other room.
Great for my cutting table.
But, see, I got...
- You can use - the extra outlets
- For your equipment.
This is a great idea, dad.
Yeah, yeah.
I wish I'd thought of it.
Come on, ray.
Family hug.
Dog, pull up off the pizza.
That's your fourth slice.
What, you counting slices?
- I'm counting slices
- until I'm counting money.
Hey, turn it back up.
That's my jam.
Tia, this place is off the hook.
It's like we have
our own student union.
- I can't believe your parents
- are being so cool about this.
- Saying... my parents would be
- all up under me.
- You don't know how
- to work them.
- You got to have
- an agreement.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay!
- Lisa: - Tia! Tamera!
- What's going on up there?
Do you have any idea
what time it is?
It's 2:00 in the morning.
- It's 2:00
- in the morning.
- Why are you boys
- up here at this hour?
We're eating pizza.
I mean,
offering pizza.
Ray, we're just chillin'
- just like we would do
- at the dorm.
- That's what this is
- supposed to be, right?
Our dorm.
You promised
to treat us like
adults, right?
Well...
And you both agreed to
campus rules, right?
Well, then, what's the problem?
I told ray not
to come up here.
Me? You pulled me
out of my bed.
Oh, quit complaining.
- That's the most activity
- your bedroom's seen
In years.
You know, tamera, they're right.
It's about time we started
being more responsible.
You're right.
Okay, y'all.
Use coasters.
That's right.
Morning.
Oh, hi, ladies.
- You're not mad about
- last night, are you?
No.
You two are right.
- You're adults and should
- be treated as such.
Oh, thanks, dad.
- Whoo, breakfast
- smells good.
Doesn't it?
Fresh-baked biscuits,
eggs, grits...
- Fresh-squeezed
- orange juice
- And Tia's favorite,
- salmon croquettes.
- Yep, it is so good
- to be home.
- I mean, nobody cooks breakfast
- like you two.
Oh, there's nothing to it.
- All you need
- are the right ingredients
- Some fresh food,
- a hot stove
And a hearty appetite.
And two adults.
So, get to cooking.
Adults.
Adults.
Your baby girl left
- and you already turned
- her bedroom
Into your own cineplex.
You know that was my den
before it became
tamera's bed...
Oh, she backed up on me.
She tricked me.
Ray Campbell.
- She tricked me,
- the trickster.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I thought that's where
- you messed up
- the first time
- So I went all
- the way back.
Hey... hey.
- All right, let's go.
- I'm ready.
- We've been waiting
- for you.
Go, Michigan!
I'm on a unicycle.
- Yep. All packed
- and ready to go.
Amazing how much
stuff you can pile
on a luggage rack.
I hope you tied everything down.
- We were supposed
- to tie it?
- I'm just
- kidding, dad.
Well, I'm checking.
Ray! It's all covered.
We can do this.
Yeah. We're
practically adults now.
Who could argue with that?
Oh, my babies!
Oh, my precious babies!
My babies are leaving home!
- Can you pull up
- on the love?
- Mommy, the - university
- Of Michigan
- Is only 45
- minutes away.
We'll be back
every time we
need clean laundry.
Or clean money.
- And i'm
- cleaned out.
Well, sis, let's roll!
Bye, mommy.
At least let me
squeeze you some orange juice.
Bye, daddy.
- I can't wait to hear
- about your first day.
- Call us tonight,
- but don't call collect.
- I have
- a calling card
- And I'm not afraid
- to use it.
I got grits!
Drive carefully.
How about a hot link?
Hot link to go!
Lisa, turn off the stove.
The girls are gone.
I know.
- We've raised two
- wonderful young ladies.
I know.
Now it's just you and I.
I know.
♪ I do my own style
in my own time ♪
♪ how different
we have come to be ♪
♪ even though I'm glad
to be with you ♪
♪ I got to feel
what's real for me ♪
♪ like you got to do
what's right for you ♪
Ow! My hand!
My hand! Ahh!
Whoo! We're here.
Check this place out.
Man, they're hooked up.
- They got everything, man:
- A pool table...
They got a big-screen TV.
Gorgeous football players
hanging out in the lounge.
Man, I heard
Hudson hall was all that
but I did not know
that it was all this!
Tia, it's bigger
than our bedrooms at home!
This is bigger than my home.
And this is just
our half of the suite.
- Our roommates
- are on the other side
Of the private
bathroom.
I have a private
bathroom, too.
It's just for me
and the other 50 people
on the floor.
Hey, Bo, look at who
we got for roommates.
Twins.
Bo likes twins.
Oh, yes.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I got it!
Hey. I'm from
applegate appliance.
I've got a 60-inch
wide-screen TV
for ray Campbell.
Yeah. You're early.
You have a Dolly?
- It goes upstairs
- in my daughter's old bedroom.
Hmm. Nice house
you got here, my man.
- If my wife and I
- could get our credit...
- Lisa:
- Ray!
Uh... hold that thought.
Ray. Oh, ray, look
at this photo of our babies
at their birthday party.
Don't they look precious
- in their sweet
- little dresses
- And their cute
- little shoes?
- Lisa, that was
- just last year.
- Don't bring
- me down, ray.
Who was at the door?
Oh, nobody.
- Sounds like
- nobody's back.
- Uh... wait.
- Want to watch
- Some home movies
- of the girls?
- No. I saw them
- all last night.
- Look, you want
- this wide-screen
TV or not?
Wide-screen TV?
Must be some
kind of a mistake.
- You just said
- you wanted it upstairs
In your daughter's old bedroom.
Ray Campbell!
- Your baby girl
- just moved out
And you're already
turning her bedroom
- into your
- personal cineplex?
It's how I'm coping
with the pain.
Join a support group.
Lisa, you know
that was my den before
it became tamera's bedroom.
She would have
wanted me to have it.
She's in college,
not dead.
Is it in or out?
Out!
In!
Lisa, the girls are gone.
- They'll be back
- home every weekend.
We have a huge guest bedroom.
Then stick
wide-zilla in there.
There's too many windows.
Tamera's room is the only one
that has enough wall space.
I need those extra outlets for
the DVD, the dss and the VCR.
Okay, r-a-y, it's your house.
It's your decision.
Well, thank you.
But if you want your
baby girl coming home
- and finding herself
- evicted from her bedroom
At a time in her life
when she is vulnerable
frightened and all alone
- in this cold,
- cruel world
Then just bring in
that big screen.
Forget it!
I'm not going to
be a part of this.
I got a little girl myself.
How can you sleep
at night, man?
I won't be watching
a big-screen TV!
- I can't believe
- they put us
- In the jock dorm
- by mistake.
I hope they reassign us to
Buckley with you, diavian.
- Well, this is obviously
- a freshman dorm.
All I've seen is a busted TV,
a ping-pong table with no net
and one dumbbell.
- Boy:
- Who's number one?!
We are, baby!
Number freaking one!
Go, blue!
Make that two dumbbells.
It's going to be a trip
- getting used to guys
- in the same dorm.
- Well, it depends
- on the guy.
I could get
real used to
a daily dose
- of some fine
- college men.
Okay!
Okay!
- Why not
- start with
- The fine college man
- across the hall?
Okay?
Jordan?
Hey, we're on the
same floor? Bet!
Tamera, we have got to get
in this dorm. Where's Ty?
- He's at student aid getting
- his campus job assignment.
- Did campus housing
- find you a new room?
Not yet. They said
they'd have it taken
care of by 3:00.
Go, Michigan!
Go, Michigan!
Go, Michigan! Whoo!
Yeah, go, and find
the rest of your bike.
Bye.
307.
This is it.
Go get 'em.
All right.
Uh...
Hi.
Yes?
Oh, I'm diavian Johnson,
your roommate.
- Wow! I've
- been waiting
A long time to say that.
Well, see, I'm an only child
- so I've always
- wanted somebody
To share things with
and to stay up
all night talking with
- braiding each other's
- hair and stuff
- And here you are,
- my roommate.
God! A freshman!
I requested a senior,
and they sent a freshman.
Ho-ho! Ho-ho!
Double freshmen!
Uh... these are my friends.
- Tia.
- Tamera.
- Great. What did you
- say your name was?
Evian?
No, no, no. Diavian.
Diavian Johnson.
Simone flosser.
You are so lucky
- to have diavian
- as a roommate.
- She's just too
- modest to say so
But she was voted
miss congeniality
at our high school.
And first runner-up
for best-dressed.
- We won.
- We won.
Well, very good
for you, Mary Kate
and Ashley. Ohh!
- You better hope
- Mary Kate holds me back
Because Ashley's about
to break you down!
I've never heard anything
like that in my life!
All righty, then.
Now that we've all been
- properly introduced,
- where should I put my stuff?
- Okay, look,
- this has been my room
- For the past four years.
- Last year...
Wait, wait. Hold up.
If you said you were
a senior last year
- why didn't
- you graduate?
Gee, yeah, I... I don't know.
Maybe because
I loved Michigan so much
I failed chemistry and French
just so I could hang around
for a fifth year.
- No wonder
- she's so bitter.
Okay, look... the window,
both desks, the sink
the top drawers and the shelves
in the closet... all mine.
And what do I get?
The cot in the corner.
Well, that's not fair.
- Well, Simone,
- if you don't mind
- I think we'll
- just go ahead
And take this up with
the resident advisor.
- That's what
- we're going to do
'cause you trifling.
Start talking.
- Hey, ladies, how's
- the new roommate situation?
Great!
Great!
Great!
I'm in college.
I can do whatever I want.
Nobody telling me
to pick up my clothes
or make my bed!
I'm the king of the world!
Jordan, get off that bed!
Man, where's your
home training?
I was checking to see
if the mattress
was a beautyrest.
It ain't.
- That makes sense.
- You know why?
Because you won't be
having any beauties
on it anyway.
- Oh. Oh, you cracking jokes
- like you got a job or something.
Oh, brother, I do.
You looking
at a working man.
- Give me some.
- What?
- Look, I like Michigan
- just as much as the next guy
But get out of my room!
Dude, I'm your roommate!
Excuse me?
Chud mcgraff!
We're roomies!
Jordan Bennett!
Get out!
You're funny, man.
- We're going to get along good,
- me and you.
Hey, check this out.
- Six-packs
- chilling
In the fridge
microwave for all the popcorn
and nachos you can eat
and bootlegged cable.
Hey, I'm with you
- but if they
- catch you
I don't know you.
Catch me? Who?
Campus security?
Everybody knows
those rent-a-cops are a joke.
- Am I right?
- Am I right?
- They can't be
- all that bad.
Aw, man, you must
not live on campus.
No, but I do
work on campus.
Oh, yeah? For who?
I work for
campus security, man
and you got one, two...
About three strikes.
I'm out.
I need your name.
No, man, no.
- I'm feeling,
- I'm feeling betrayed.
Wouldn't it be great
if we got in Buckley
with diavian and Jordan?
- Yeah, but I'll
- settle for anyplace
We don't have to
share a shower
with two jocks.
Man, I can't believe
there was an opening
in the athletic dorm!
Yes! What kind of dummy
gives up a dorm
with a midnight buffet?
Next.
Hi. Uh... remember us...
Landry and Campbell?
- Of course.
- You're the first students
In the history of Michigan
to ask out of Hudson hall.
Which you put us in
by mistake.
Yes. Yes.
That, indeed, was our fault
and we are more than happy
to correct it.
Where did he put us?
The first national
bank of Ann arbor.
What?
It's a refund check.
Wait, wait.
Wait a minute,
mister. Uh...
- We don't
- want a refund.
We want a room.
I'm sorry, ladies, but the dorms
are all booked to capacity.
Where are we
supposed to stay?
I understand the holiday inn
has a two-for-one special.
- Tia:
- Oh, my god!
This campus
needs moving sidewalks.
It's gi-hugic!
- How hard can it be
- to find a place?
- Yeah, I mean, we don't
- take up that much space.
- Tia.
- Hmm?
Don't worry.
- We are going to live
- on this campus.
Nothing and nobody
is going to stop us.
You got that right.
Uh, do you mind?
Don't you two know
it's flu season?
As you were.
Tamera:
Obviously, that guy
at campus housing
had no real power.
All we have to do
is find the person
who's really in charge.
- Okay... hey!
- There's Simone.
- She acts like
- she knows everything.
Well, she should.
- She lived on campus
- forever.
Tamera.
Hi, Simone.
Tia and tamera...
Diavian's friends.
I know who you are.
Stand back.
Why? What's wrong?
- I don't want to be seen
- fraternizing with freshmen.
Aren't you
the resident advisor?
Off duty.
- But, um,
- this is important.
We need your help.
Then act like you're watching
- those guys over there
- playing pool.
You may speak,
but do not look at me.
Okay, then, I'll turn away.
- Look, Simone,
- they messed up at campus housing
- And we don't have
- a dorm room.
You may be in luck.
- I heard a
- couple of dorks
Gave up a great suite
in Hudson hall.
Yeah, we heard that, too.
I think it's taken.
Do you know anybody
on the inside
at campus housing?
There is one guy.
His name is Neidermeyer.
- He's in charge
- of all campus housing.
- He's a dumpy bald guy
- with coke bottle glasses.
That's who we talked to.
He said no go.
And you fell for it?
Oh, you are
such freshmen.
- Your dorm housing letter
- is a binding contract.
- Go back there and don't
- take "no" for an answer.
- We won't.
- Don't leave
Until he finds you a room.
- We won't.
- And whatever you do
Do not take the refund check.
We messed up.
Well, girls, I hear there's
a two-for-one special
at the holiday inn.
Hey, Bo, it's our cute
little dorm honeys.
Bo likes twins.
Bo needs a bigger
vocabulary.
- Hey, guys, how did it go
- at campus housing?
- Maybe we should
- just join the army.
- At least
- they guarantee you
A place to sleep.
- Diavian:
- I'd let you guys
Bunk in with me,
except there isn't room
what, with Simone's attitude
being so big and all.
Oh, heads up, guys.
Officer tyreke.
Okay.
What's up, y'all?
- ♪ Whatcha gonna do
- when they come for you? ♪
All right!
Yes, thank you, thank you.
Very funny.
- I know y'all
- been waiting all day
- For a brother to roll up
- in his uniform
- So y'all could sing
- that song.
You know we have.
- Did you get a new
- housing assignment yet?
Right now we're in,
uh, homeless hall.
Can you use your badge
to kick somebody out
- so tamera and I
- can move in?
No! No, I can't
but I can escort you
to your car.
Oh, good, because
that's where
we'll be living.
Man, I ain't playing.
- Geez... Tia,
- what are we going to do?
I don't know.
Maybe we should
just call mom and ray.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No way.
We are adults now
and the last thing
we're going to do
is go crying
to mommy and daddy.
And now there's no room
for us on campus
and we can't go
to college.
Oh, you're going to college.
But the whole point
of going to college
is living in the dorms.
Don't worry.
- I'll call the university
- and straighten this out.
No, we've already been
to the guy in charge.
- The only thing
- he could do
Was give us back
our money.
Really?
But you don't have
to sound so happy about it.
Girls, girls,
I'm sure we can do something.
Well, now
that you mention it
tamera and I
have been talking.
- We think
- there's a simple solution.
Of course there is.
- We use the dorm money
- to get our own apartment.
- I'm sure
- that's not it.
There is no way you're
getting an apartment
at your age.
Why not?
- You sent us to live
- at the dorm at our age.
What's the difference
- between a dorm
- and an apartment?
- The difference between getting
- straight as and going buck wild.
- You don't expect us
- to move back
- Into our old rooms
- just like high school.
- We'll never learn
- to be independent
- And we'll wind up
- living here
- For the rest
- of our lives.
Nobody wants that.
Can we have an apartment?
Maybe.
Absolutely not.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- She said "maybe" first.
- It's going to have
- to be a small space.
- Would you be willing
- to share a single?
- No problem.
- Same as a dorm.
- It has to be
- someplace safe.
- Absolutely.
- Safety is important.
- Lisa, have you lost
- your mind?
Nope, just my studio.
You can move in there
in the morning.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you talking
about the workroom
above the garage?
- Yes, it's small,
- it's safe...
Costs nothing.
- And is right
- under your noses.
- Well, you said
- you wanted an apartment...
- And you'd have your
- very own entrance.
Yeah, you can come and go
as you please.
That is true.
What do you
think, tamera?
Well, could we have
the same rules as the dorm?
Well, I suppose.
No supposing, dad.
Campus rules apply.
- No questions
- and no curfews.
We expect to be
treated like adults...
By both of you.
Absolutely.
A houseful of adults,
that's what we got here.
Okay, then.
We'll give it a try.
Well, wait a minute.
Where are you going to work?
- Oh, don't worry
- about me.
- I'll just move my work
- someplace else.
Ooh, I know.
Tamera's old bedroom.
- Yes!
- Yes.
That room has more wall space
than any other room.
Great for my cutting table.
But, see, I got...
- You can use - the extra outlets
- For your equipment.
This is a great idea, dad.
Yeah, yeah.
I wish I'd thought of it.
Come on, ray.
Family hug.
Dog, pull up off the pizza.
That's your fourth slice.
What, you counting slices?
- I'm counting slices
- until I'm counting money.
Hey, turn it back up.
That's my jam.
Tia, this place is off the hook.
It's like we have
our own student union.
- I can't believe your parents
- are being so cool about this.
- Saying... my parents would be
- all up under me.
- You don't know how
- to work them.
- You got to have
- an agreement.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay!
- Lisa: - Tia! Tamera!
- What's going on up there?
Do you have any idea
what time it is?
It's 2:00 in the morning.
- It's 2:00
- in the morning.
- Why are you boys
- up here at this hour?
We're eating pizza.
I mean,
offering pizza.
Ray, we're just chillin'
- just like we would do
- at the dorm.
- That's what this is
- supposed to be, right?
Our dorm.
You promised
to treat us like
adults, right?
Well...
And you both agreed to
campus rules, right?
Well, then, what's the problem?
I told ray not
to come up here.
Me? You pulled me
out of my bed.
Oh, quit complaining.
- That's the most activity
- your bedroom's seen
In years.
You know, tamera, they're right.
It's about time we started
being more responsible.
You're right.
Okay, y'all.
Use coasters.
That's right.
Morning.
Oh, hi, ladies.
- You're not mad about
- last night, are you?
No.
You two are right.
- You're adults and should
- be treated as such.
Oh, thanks, dad.
- Whoo, breakfast
- smells good.
Doesn't it?
Fresh-baked biscuits,
eggs, grits...
- Fresh-squeezed
- orange juice
- And Tia's favorite,
- salmon croquettes.
- Yep, it is so good
- to be home.
- I mean, nobody cooks breakfast
- like you two.
Oh, there's nothing to it.
- All you need
- are the right ingredients
- Some fresh food,
- a hot stove
And a hearty appetite.
And two adults.
So, get to cooking.
Adults.
Adults.
Your baby girl left
- and you already turned
- her bedroom
Into your own cineplex.
You know that was my den
before it became
tamera's bed...
Oh, she backed up on me.
She tricked me.
Ray Campbell.
- She tricked me,
- the trickster.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I thought that's where
- you messed up
- the first time
- So I went all
- the way back.
Hey... hey.
- All right, let's go.
- I'm ready.
- We've been waiting
- for you.
Go, Michigan!
I'm on a unicycle.