Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 21 - Big Twin on Campus - full transcript
Tamera finds her own crowd when she doesn't fit in with Tia's new intellectual college friends.
- Hi dad, I had to wait in line
- three hours
But I got
the new too loose c.D.
Look honey, I need quiet.
I'm trying to do
my corporate taxes.
By the way if anyone asks you
- you were my employee
- for six months.
- Whatever. I'm going to listen
- to this on my headphones
So I won't disturb you, okay?
Yeah. I appreciate that.
Last thing I wanna hear is
loud music while I'm working.
No problem.
-Hey!
-Hey! Hey!
♪ Talk about
a two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ never knew how
much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
- ♪ Never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
Something's bothering me
but I can't talk to Tia,
because it's about her.
I've hardly seen her
or talked to her in weeks.
Shh, here she comes.
Watch this.
- Hey, Tia, where
- you been lately?
Nowhere.
See?
So, Tia, don't forget
dinky paterson's
rollerblading party
Saturday night.
Tamera, do I look like someone
who would put on rollerblades
and skate with someone
named dinky paterson?
- You look like me,
- and I'm going.
- Well, to tell you the truth,
- I've been seeing
A college man I met
at the university library.
Well, bring him
to dinky's party.
Oh, tamera
you don't understand.
- His name's Michael,
- he's a sophomore
And he majors in engineering.
He's two-oh.
He's 20?
He's..?
Four years older than us?
- Oh, my gosh! What do
- you guys talk about?
That's just it.
We talk about everything...
Politics, art
current cinema, of course.
- I finally met a guy
- who's on my level.
So, what does your mom think
about you dating a college man?
Tamera, please.
You'll discover
that when a mature person
goes one's own way
then one doesn't need
the approval of one's parent.
- So, one
- hasn't told one's parent?
No. One is afraid
of what one's parent will say
and if one twin
opens her big mouth
one twin will be
the only one left.
Your secret's safe with me.
So, where you going?
Oh, well, we hang out
at this coffee house
called piping 'n' plenty.
Well, what are you going
to tell your mom because
I have to go along with it.
I don't need a story.
Well, come on, Tia,
we always have a story.
I mean, no... no
rollerblading, no stories...
Look, tamera, if she asks,
I'll just tell her
I'm going to the coffee house.
- Okay, fine.
- It's none of my business.
Zip, zip. Done.
Uh, mom, I'm going out.
Where you going?
Uh, to the coffee house.
Okay. See you later.
- Hey, Lisa, it's great
- it doesn't bother you
- That Tia's going out
- with a college guy.
Oops.
Oh? You met a college guy?
What? In the library?
What's his name?
Michael white.
He's an engineering student
at the university of Detroit.
Sounds like a nice guy.
Ok baby have a good time.
Thanks, mom.
See, it pays to
have a good story.
Come on.
Hey, uh, where do you
think you're going?
Well, can't I go with you
to plenty 'n' piping?
It's "piping 'n' plenty."
Do we have to do
everything together?
Sorry to bite your head off.
Wait a minute,
so you don't want me
to go with you?
- But I didn't want to go
- too far in the alphabet.
Ciao.
Ciao?
Gee, my sister's kicking me
to the curb in Italian.
Oh, ray, guess who's going
out with a college guy.
Oh, good for you, Lisa.
- Maybe you can teach him
- a thing or two.
Not me.
Oh, no. Wait till I get
my hands on tamera.
- I knew if I gave her free rein -
she'd do something - Stupid like this.
Oh, no. It's Tia.
Whoo! There's a break. Wow.
Uh, well, I... I hope you
put a stop to it right away.
What for?
- She's got a good head
- on her shoulders. I trust her.
Well, so what's all this junk?
Excuse me. This is
memorabilia I collected
- when I was going out
- with Terrence.
So, it is not junk. It's stuff.
- Terrence is coming
- to go through it together.
You still have feelings
for this guy?
- Are you kidding?
- I got more feelings for you.
Boy, when you close
the hatch on somebody
you weld it shut.
That's right.
That's Terrence.
- I can always recognize
- his little ding-dong.
Coming!
You know, ray
Terrence might be
a little emotional
knowing it's all over
so in five minutes,
call me and tell me
- you need a little
- help in the kitchen.
Oh, come on, Lisa,
Terrence is a grown man.
- I know he can deal
- with this reality.
- Hey take it from me.
- I had lot of experience.
I remember when Gwendolyn
kicked me to the curb.
- It didn't bother me
- when she brought back
That penguin I won for her
at the state fair.
No, it didn't bother me at all.
15 tries it took me to get
that dime in that stupid plate.
I'll... I'll be in the kitchen.
Remember, ray. Five minutes.
Oh. It's you.
- Well, wait a minute.
- You asked me to come over here.
Anyway, I found
a few items myself
that's been cluttering up
my bachelor's pad.
- Yeah, well,
- let's get this over with
- So that we never have
- to see each other again.
Fine with me.
Here's that snow globe.
- You bought it for me
- on our first date.
Yeah, on the tour
of the Chevy plant.
Oh, look, look, look.
- Here's the bear
- you got me in Atlantic city.
Oh, yeah! "Miss a-bear-ica."
Oh, I... guess we won't be
needing this anymore, huh?
Oh... yeah, we
were going to hang it
in front of that cottage
that we saw at pine lake.
Yeah.
Well, Lisa, you... you
want to go to dinner
at our favorite place?
- You mean
- dot and etta's shrimp hut?
We got the bibs.
- Yeah, well, for old times' sake
- and a bucket of popcorn shrimp.
Lisa, I need help
in the kitchen.
Excuse me.
I asked for decaf.
I taste "caf."
- Is this a scone
- or a paperweight?
- Does this smell like
- Nicaraguan to you?
I guess so.
Hey!
I am a serious actress.
Oh, I don't have to take this.
It's just that...
Well, I live in Detroit, and
there are very few acting jobs.
I mean, besides auto shows.
How many times
can I point to a lumina?
Unbelievable.
- I walked up to the guy,
- and I said...
Hey, Tia.
Oh, hi, Matthew. Hi, David.
Hi, Jennifer. Hi, Courtney.
Hi, Marcel.
- -Hi, Michael.
- -Hi.
Oh...
Hi, Tia.
My, god.
She looks exactly like you.
Tamera, it was nice to see you.
-Good-bye!
-Well, wait.
Aren't you going
to introduce me
to your friends?
Tamera, this is Matthew
David, Jennifer,
Courtney, Marcel
and Michael.
- I'm going to show you
- around the place.
Excuse me.
Tamera, what are
you doing here?
Can't a girl get
a cup of coffee?
Tamera, you followed me here?
Yes, I did. Come on
we always do stuff together.
What's going on?
Can't I meet your friends?
Well, I guess, but the truth is
I kind of exaggerated
- a few things about myself
- to Michael and his friends.
Like what?
Like I'm 19.
Oh, cool, good.
You know I'm good at stories.
Tia, say no more.
- I'll go along
- with whatever you say.
I'll get our order.
Everybody want the usual?
- -Yeah.
- -Yes.
Tamera, what are you having?
Uh, a slurpee.
Wait. You guys, she's kidding.
Um, she'll have a cappuccino.
You joker.
So, Tia, when are you
going to transfer
- from Wayne state
- to the university of Detroit?
Wayne state?
- So, where do you
- go to college, tamera?
Uh, Wayne state.
You know, Michael,
you were right
about that kurosawa festival.
I knew you'd enjoy it.
Kurosawa is the best.
Really? I kind of
prefer American-made.
Hmm, interesting, tamera.
Elaborate on that opinion.
- Well, don't
- get me wrong, Courtney.
See, kurosawa
is a fine motorcycle
but give me a big old
Harley Davidson any day.
What?
Tamera, Akira kurosawa
was a celebrated
Japanese film-maker.
That's who we're talking about.
Yeah, it's "kawasaki,"
not "kurosawa."
Well, while we're
on the subject of movies
now, who do you think
is a better Batman? Val..?
Uh, David, let's
go play some chess.
Huh? What do you say?
Yeah. I'll keep score.
I'll play the winner.
- Can I get a little help
- from a friend?
I'll be there for you
in a minute.
Hey, cookies!
All right!
So, Tia... if you two
didn't look exactly alike
- I wouldn't even know
- you were sisters.
Well, she acts
a little juvenile.
You see, she is
two minutes younger than me
but once you get to know her,
she's... pretty much...
Kind of... mature.
Hey, Tia, look.
Princess Leia.
See?
Look. Watch... ooh...
You'll never see her again.
So, where's Tia?
I don't know.
Probably at the coffee house.
- She doesn't want
- to hang around me anymore.
It's normal for sisters
to grow apart a little bit.
Dad, do you think I'm immature?
Absolutely not.
You're a perfectly normal
15-year-old girl.
Dad, I'm 16.
Oh, right, right, right.
- Do you think I'm mature enough
- to date a college guy?
Absolutely not.
What I mean is,
I'm not mature enough
for you to date a college guy.
Dad, I'm not
a little kid anymore.
I know you're fif-...
16 years old.
Why don't you just go
hang out with your pals
down at senor taco?
You know, little Ernie
and scooter and Stevie
and Roger and dinky.
- Why do you have to be
- in such a hurry to grow up?
Come on, just be
my sweet little girl.
Huh? Feel better?
Maybe you'd better leave
before I start feeling
really, really, really good.
- Boy, these double
- cappuccinos are good.
Hey, anybody want to jog
to Montreal?
Ooh!
Oops, sorry!
Hey, aren't you
that girl that caused
- a major coffee disaster
- the other day?
Uh, why?
It was classic.
Well, in that case,
yeah, it was me.
Yeah, well, I'm Henry.
You want to sit with us?
Do you go to college?
Kind of.
Uh, junior college.
All righty, then.
Jim carrey. That's cool. Okay.
I just think it's ironic
that newt the congressman
and the animal newt
are both tiny-brained lizards.
It's so true.
Good one, Michael.
You should put that
in your column
in the daily lug nut.
All right.
- Tamera, you know
- you're something else.
Are you really pre-med?
Uh-huh.
Wow! So you must have
like a "c" average?
I'm starving.
- You guys want to go
- to gino's east?
I'm down for a road trip.
- What about you, tamera?
- You want a ride?
Gino's has the best pizza.
Pizza? I'm there!
All right, baby. Pizza.
See you, Tia.
You know, Lisa
we really did have
some good times together.
- Especially those
- spur-of-the-moment weekends.
- You know, I can't even remember
- why we decided to break up.
What? What?
I was thinking
about our weekend at bay city.
Oh, I know
and I tripped getting
on the ferry boat.
Was the water cold, baby?
- You know, I don't think
- it was that funny, Terrence.
I'm sorry, baby.
- You did twist
- your ankle pretty good.
Oh, yeah.
That reminds me
of you and that nurse.
Oh, yeah... Beverly zucchineli.
I don't know
why I remembered her name.
Ha! Now I remember
why we broke up.
- Mr. Flirt-with-anything-
- in-a-skirt-that-isn't-Scottish.
Wait! Well, sue me
for being social.
I mean, just lock me
in friendly jail.
Okay, who's ready for taboo?
- Here, take your stuff
- and get out.
Don't come back.
Get out!
- What kind of doctor
- you want to be?
Uh, either a foot doctor
or a brain doctor.
You know, we've been driving
for a very long time.
- Are you sure we haven't passed
- this restaurant?
- Passed it?
- We're still in Michigan.
Yeah, it's 60 miles
till we get to Chicago.
Chicago?
Oh... oh... good.
Please, be home,
please, be home...
Hi, this is Roger...
Hi, Roger, listen...
I'm not home right now.
- I'm probably out
- with a beautiful girl.
- Just in case
- you're a beautiful girl too
- Leave your name, number
- and turn-ons
And I'll get right back to you.
- Roger, if you're there,
- please pick up.
- I'm stranded at a bus station
- in downtown Chicago.
Oh, what's the use?
Yeah.
Hello?
Yes, I'll accept the charges.
Tamera? Where are you?
Well, I'm at a bus station
in downtown Chicago.
- Chicago? What are you doing
- in Chicago?
I came for the pizza.
Gino's east?
- Now, honey, that's good pie,
- but it's not that good.
- Lisa, these college kids said
- they were going on a road trip
And I didn't know
what a road trip was
until we ended up here Chicago.
Look, they're staying over
and I told them I had
a surgery class in the morning.
Surgery class?
I'll explain it to you later.
Just, please, come and get me.
- Okay, honey,
- I'll see you in a bit.
Oh... ooh, I hope my caddie
can make it.
Tia, can I talk
to you for a minute?
Who's this guy?
Uh, it's Roger.
He's the kid I, uh...
I baby-sit.
I wish.
- Give me a bath and put me
- in my jammies, sweet thing.
Over here, Roger.
What do you want?
- Tamera left me a strange
- message on my machine.
- She's stuck
- at some bus station in Chicago.
Chicago? What is
she doing in Chicago?
Maybe it's her kind
of town, Chicago is.
Man, she must have run off
with those weird kids.
All right, guys. Let's go.
You ready to go, Tia?
Uh, yeah, Michael.
On our way home
could we take
a little detour to Chicago?
Chicago?
- Yeah, my sister's stuck
- in a bus station there.
Your sister's 19.
She can take care of herself.
19? She's only 16.
Do you mind?
Look, Michael, um, I have
a confession to make.
Ohh...
I'm not 19 and I don't go
to Wayne state.
I'm just a high school student.
Wow, you sure fooled me.
- Yeah, see I was just pretending
- to be older because
- I wanted to fit
- in with you guys.
Oh, what a tangled web
we weave...
Out, Roger!
Boy, talk about high school...
But, then again,
you are high school.
I'm sorry, Matthew, David,
Courtney, Jennifer, Marcel...
Michael.
I guess I should have known
when you told me you had
20th-century British literature
right after homeroom.
- Look, I know it was my fault
- but my sister's in trouble
- And I'm going
- to need your help now.
So, can you take me to Chicago?
Gee, I'm kind of tired.
How could you be tired?
You had 15 cups of coffee.
Look, Tia, we should end
this thing here and now.
You and your sister
wanted to be adults
- so here's your chance
- to act like it.
You know, Michael
my friend Roger
is much more mature than you.
Well, then, have him drive you.
- He would, but he doesn't have
- his license yet.
- Who wants to go to the dorm
- have coffee and play chess?
Sounds good to me.
Next bus for Milwaukee,
kenosha and green bay
is now departing from gate 3.
You want a tip
on how to get comfy?
Sure.
Go home, get into your own bed.
I wish I could.
Come on, what is it?
Hmmm, it's a very long story.
I just... I wanted to prove
I was as mature
as my twin sister.
I guess,
that's not such a long story.
Why can't I go roller blading
with dinky paterson's.
- Why you kids in such
- a big hurry to grow up?
You outta slow down.
Enjoy being young.
I guess, you would know.
- Probably seen a lot of kids
- like me pass through here
Not really, I read a article
on that lady's home journal.
Oh, there you are, sweetie.
- How are you...
- Hey...
No, not you... no, no, not you.
Lisa, thank you so much
for coming all the way
down here.
I'm glad I could count on you.
- Yeah, yeah. You know honey, -
it's been a four-hour - Ride down here.
- I really got to hit
- that sand box.
Oh, I've been there.
Watch your step.
- Thanks for helping me out,
- Roger.
- I told you,
- when the chips are down
- You aren't going to see
- those college boys
But you can always
depend on me.
And your mother.
She did drive us.
Keep circling, mom.
We'll be right out.
Man, where is tamera?
I don't see her anywhere.
Roger, what are we going to do?
I don't know.
Let me hold you
in my strong arms
until we figure it out.
Shut up, Roger.
Sorry. I just thought
I'd take advantage
of your weak moment.
- Lisa, thank you so much
- for not telling my sister, Tia.
If she found out,
I'd be really humiliated.
Hi, Tia.
Oh, man!
Tamera, are you okay?
Yeah.
- Look, I know what
- you're going to say.
"I told you so."
All right. I'm so much
less mature than you are.
- That's not exactly true,
- tamera.
I'm the one who pretended to be
a 20-year-old college student.
Yeah, you're right.
That is pretty immature.
Tia, is that true?
You lied about your age?
Yes.
- Been there, done that,
- bought that t-shirt.
This is so humiliating.
- At least, we kept
- my dad out of it.
You know, tamera,
I was going to mention
something to you about that.
Oh, hi, honey.
Hello, baby.
Ah, buzz off.
Lisa!
Honey, my caddy broke down
in kalamazoo.
I had to call somebody.
I told you that was your mom
waving that safety flare.
Let's go to the car.
Tamera, are you okay?
Dad, I'm fine.
- I'm sorry I put
- you guys all through this.
But, dad, before
you say anything
I've learned a valuable lesson.
I shouldn't try
to grow up too fast.
Finally, something
I said sunk in.
Actually, Walter
over there said it.
Hi. Got the new issue
of parents magazine
if you want to take a look-see.
- Dad, this is
- pretty embarrassing
- But at least nobody
- outside my family and friends
Know what an idiot
I've made of myself.
Tamera Campbell, report
to the information desk.
Your daddy is looking for you.
Oh, dad!
But I was worried, sugar lumps.
I'm still here, baby.
Good. Stay here.
Cold.
Oh, what a night.
What time is it?
7:30 in the morning.
Well, I'll just have
to crash here with you guys.
For the last time, Roger.
- -Go home!
- -Go home!
- But you're my baby-sitter,
- sweet thing.
Oh, boy.
- We could have been home
- an hour earlier
If Lisa hadn't made
that one last stop.
I'm supposed to go to Chicago
and not stop at gino's?
- three hours
But I got
the new too loose c.D.
Look honey, I need quiet.
I'm trying to do
my corporate taxes.
By the way if anyone asks you
- you were my employee
- for six months.
- Whatever. I'm going to listen
- to this on my headphones
So I won't disturb you, okay?
Yeah. I appreciate that.
Last thing I wanna hear is
loud music while I'm working.
No problem.
-Hey!
-Hey! Hey!
♪ Talk about
a two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ never knew how
much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
- ♪ Never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
Something's bothering me
but I can't talk to Tia,
because it's about her.
I've hardly seen her
or talked to her in weeks.
Shh, here she comes.
Watch this.
- Hey, Tia, where
- you been lately?
Nowhere.
See?
So, Tia, don't forget
dinky paterson's
rollerblading party
Saturday night.
Tamera, do I look like someone
who would put on rollerblades
and skate with someone
named dinky paterson?
- You look like me,
- and I'm going.
- Well, to tell you the truth,
- I've been seeing
A college man I met
at the university library.
Well, bring him
to dinky's party.
Oh, tamera
you don't understand.
- His name's Michael,
- he's a sophomore
And he majors in engineering.
He's two-oh.
He's 20?
He's..?
Four years older than us?
- Oh, my gosh! What do
- you guys talk about?
That's just it.
We talk about everything...
Politics, art
current cinema, of course.
- I finally met a guy
- who's on my level.
So, what does your mom think
about you dating a college man?
Tamera, please.
You'll discover
that when a mature person
goes one's own way
then one doesn't need
the approval of one's parent.
- So, one
- hasn't told one's parent?
No. One is afraid
of what one's parent will say
and if one twin
opens her big mouth
one twin will be
the only one left.
Your secret's safe with me.
So, where you going?
Oh, well, we hang out
at this coffee house
called piping 'n' plenty.
Well, what are you going
to tell your mom because
I have to go along with it.
I don't need a story.
Well, come on, Tia,
we always have a story.
I mean, no... no
rollerblading, no stories...
Look, tamera, if she asks,
I'll just tell her
I'm going to the coffee house.
- Okay, fine.
- It's none of my business.
Zip, zip. Done.
Uh, mom, I'm going out.
Where you going?
Uh, to the coffee house.
Okay. See you later.
- Hey, Lisa, it's great
- it doesn't bother you
- That Tia's going out
- with a college guy.
Oops.
Oh? You met a college guy?
What? In the library?
What's his name?
Michael white.
He's an engineering student
at the university of Detroit.
Sounds like a nice guy.
Ok baby have a good time.
Thanks, mom.
See, it pays to
have a good story.
Come on.
Hey, uh, where do you
think you're going?
Well, can't I go with you
to plenty 'n' piping?
It's "piping 'n' plenty."
Do we have to do
everything together?
Sorry to bite your head off.
Wait a minute,
so you don't want me
to go with you?
- But I didn't want to go
- too far in the alphabet.
Ciao.
Ciao?
Gee, my sister's kicking me
to the curb in Italian.
Oh, ray, guess who's going
out with a college guy.
Oh, good for you, Lisa.
- Maybe you can teach him
- a thing or two.
Not me.
Oh, no. Wait till I get
my hands on tamera.
- I knew if I gave her free rein -
she'd do something - Stupid like this.
Oh, no. It's Tia.
Whoo! There's a break. Wow.
Uh, well, I... I hope you
put a stop to it right away.
What for?
- She's got a good head
- on her shoulders. I trust her.
Well, so what's all this junk?
Excuse me. This is
memorabilia I collected
- when I was going out
- with Terrence.
So, it is not junk. It's stuff.
- Terrence is coming
- to go through it together.
You still have feelings
for this guy?
- Are you kidding?
- I got more feelings for you.
Boy, when you close
the hatch on somebody
you weld it shut.
That's right.
That's Terrence.
- I can always recognize
- his little ding-dong.
Coming!
You know, ray
Terrence might be
a little emotional
knowing it's all over
so in five minutes,
call me and tell me
- you need a little
- help in the kitchen.
Oh, come on, Lisa,
Terrence is a grown man.
- I know he can deal
- with this reality.
- Hey take it from me.
- I had lot of experience.
I remember when Gwendolyn
kicked me to the curb.
- It didn't bother me
- when she brought back
That penguin I won for her
at the state fair.
No, it didn't bother me at all.
15 tries it took me to get
that dime in that stupid plate.
I'll... I'll be in the kitchen.
Remember, ray. Five minutes.
Oh. It's you.
- Well, wait a minute.
- You asked me to come over here.
Anyway, I found
a few items myself
that's been cluttering up
my bachelor's pad.
- Yeah, well,
- let's get this over with
- So that we never have
- to see each other again.
Fine with me.
Here's that snow globe.
- You bought it for me
- on our first date.
Yeah, on the tour
of the Chevy plant.
Oh, look, look, look.
- Here's the bear
- you got me in Atlantic city.
Oh, yeah! "Miss a-bear-ica."
Oh, I... guess we won't be
needing this anymore, huh?
Oh... yeah, we
were going to hang it
in front of that cottage
that we saw at pine lake.
Yeah.
Well, Lisa, you... you
want to go to dinner
at our favorite place?
- You mean
- dot and etta's shrimp hut?
We got the bibs.
- Yeah, well, for old times' sake
- and a bucket of popcorn shrimp.
Lisa, I need help
in the kitchen.
Excuse me.
I asked for decaf.
I taste "caf."
- Is this a scone
- or a paperweight?
- Does this smell like
- Nicaraguan to you?
I guess so.
Hey!
I am a serious actress.
Oh, I don't have to take this.
It's just that...
Well, I live in Detroit, and
there are very few acting jobs.
I mean, besides auto shows.
How many times
can I point to a lumina?
Unbelievable.
- I walked up to the guy,
- and I said...
Hey, Tia.
Oh, hi, Matthew. Hi, David.
Hi, Jennifer. Hi, Courtney.
Hi, Marcel.
- -Hi, Michael.
- -Hi.
Oh...
Hi, Tia.
My, god.
She looks exactly like you.
Tamera, it was nice to see you.
-Good-bye!
-Well, wait.
Aren't you going
to introduce me
to your friends?
Tamera, this is Matthew
David, Jennifer,
Courtney, Marcel
and Michael.
- I'm going to show you
- around the place.
Excuse me.
Tamera, what are
you doing here?
Can't a girl get
a cup of coffee?
Tamera, you followed me here?
Yes, I did. Come on
we always do stuff together.
What's going on?
Can't I meet your friends?
Well, I guess, but the truth is
I kind of exaggerated
- a few things about myself
- to Michael and his friends.
Like what?
Like I'm 19.
Oh, cool, good.
You know I'm good at stories.
Tia, say no more.
- I'll go along
- with whatever you say.
I'll get our order.
Everybody want the usual?
- -Yeah.
- -Yes.
Tamera, what are you having?
Uh, a slurpee.
Wait. You guys, she's kidding.
Um, she'll have a cappuccino.
You joker.
So, Tia, when are you
going to transfer
- from Wayne state
- to the university of Detroit?
Wayne state?
- So, where do you
- go to college, tamera?
Uh, Wayne state.
You know, Michael,
you were right
about that kurosawa festival.
I knew you'd enjoy it.
Kurosawa is the best.
Really? I kind of
prefer American-made.
Hmm, interesting, tamera.
Elaborate on that opinion.
- Well, don't
- get me wrong, Courtney.
See, kurosawa
is a fine motorcycle
but give me a big old
Harley Davidson any day.
What?
Tamera, Akira kurosawa
was a celebrated
Japanese film-maker.
That's who we're talking about.
Yeah, it's "kawasaki,"
not "kurosawa."
Well, while we're
on the subject of movies
now, who do you think
is a better Batman? Val..?
Uh, David, let's
go play some chess.
Huh? What do you say?
Yeah. I'll keep score.
I'll play the winner.
- Can I get a little help
- from a friend?
I'll be there for you
in a minute.
Hey, cookies!
All right!
So, Tia... if you two
didn't look exactly alike
- I wouldn't even know
- you were sisters.
Well, she acts
a little juvenile.
You see, she is
two minutes younger than me
but once you get to know her,
she's... pretty much...
Kind of... mature.
Hey, Tia, look.
Princess Leia.
See?
Look. Watch... ooh...
You'll never see her again.
So, where's Tia?
I don't know.
Probably at the coffee house.
- She doesn't want
- to hang around me anymore.
It's normal for sisters
to grow apart a little bit.
Dad, do you think I'm immature?
Absolutely not.
You're a perfectly normal
15-year-old girl.
Dad, I'm 16.
Oh, right, right, right.
- Do you think I'm mature enough
- to date a college guy?
Absolutely not.
What I mean is,
I'm not mature enough
for you to date a college guy.
Dad, I'm not
a little kid anymore.
I know you're fif-...
16 years old.
Why don't you just go
hang out with your pals
down at senor taco?
You know, little Ernie
and scooter and Stevie
and Roger and dinky.
- Why do you have to be
- in such a hurry to grow up?
Come on, just be
my sweet little girl.
Huh? Feel better?
Maybe you'd better leave
before I start feeling
really, really, really good.
- Boy, these double
- cappuccinos are good.
Hey, anybody want to jog
to Montreal?
Ooh!
Oops, sorry!
Hey, aren't you
that girl that caused
- a major coffee disaster
- the other day?
Uh, why?
It was classic.
Well, in that case,
yeah, it was me.
Yeah, well, I'm Henry.
You want to sit with us?
Do you go to college?
Kind of.
Uh, junior college.
All righty, then.
Jim carrey. That's cool. Okay.
I just think it's ironic
that newt the congressman
and the animal newt
are both tiny-brained lizards.
It's so true.
Good one, Michael.
You should put that
in your column
in the daily lug nut.
All right.
- Tamera, you know
- you're something else.
Are you really pre-med?
Uh-huh.
Wow! So you must have
like a "c" average?
I'm starving.
- You guys want to go
- to gino's east?
I'm down for a road trip.
- What about you, tamera?
- You want a ride?
Gino's has the best pizza.
Pizza? I'm there!
All right, baby. Pizza.
See you, Tia.
You know, Lisa
we really did have
some good times together.
- Especially those
- spur-of-the-moment weekends.
- You know, I can't even remember
- why we decided to break up.
What? What?
I was thinking
about our weekend at bay city.
Oh, I know
and I tripped getting
on the ferry boat.
Was the water cold, baby?
- You know, I don't think
- it was that funny, Terrence.
I'm sorry, baby.
- You did twist
- your ankle pretty good.
Oh, yeah.
That reminds me
of you and that nurse.
Oh, yeah... Beverly zucchineli.
I don't know
why I remembered her name.
Ha! Now I remember
why we broke up.
- Mr. Flirt-with-anything-
- in-a-skirt-that-isn't-Scottish.
Wait! Well, sue me
for being social.
I mean, just lock me
in friendly jail.
Okay, who's ready for taboo?
- Here, take your stuff
- and get out.
Don't come back.
Get out!
- What kind of doctor
- you want to be?
Uh, either a foot doctor
or a brain doctor.
You know, we've been driving
for a very long time.
- Are you sure we haven't passed
- this restaurant?
- Passed it?
- We're still in Michigan.
Yeah, it's 60 miles
till we get to Chicago.
Chicago?
Oh... oh... good.
Please, be home,
please, be home...
Hi, this is Roger...
Hi, Roger, listen...
I'm not home right now.
- I'm probably out
- with a beautiful girl.
- Just in case
- you're a beautiful girl too
- Leave your name, number
- and turn-ons
And I'll get right back to you.
- Roger, if you're there,
- please pick up.
- I'm stranded at a bus station
- in downtown Chicago.
Oh, what's the use?
Yeah.
Hello?
Yes, I'll accept the charges.
Tamera? Where are you?
Well, I'm at a bus station
in downtown Chicago.
- Chicago? What are you doing
- in Chicago?
I came for the pizza.
Gino's east?
- Now, honey, that's good pie,
- but it's not that good.
- Lisa, these college kids said
- they were going on a road trip
And I didn't know
what a road trip was
until we ended up here Chicago.
Look, they're staying over
and I told them I had
a surgery class in the morning.
Surgery class?
I'll explain it to you later.
Just, please, come and get me.
- Okay, honey,
- I'll see you in a bit.
Oh... ooh, I hope my caddie
can make it.
Tia, can I talk
to you for a minute?
Who's this guy?
Uh, it's Roger.
He's the kid I, uh...
I baby-sit.
I wish.
- Give me a bath and put me
- in my jammies, sweet thing.
Over here, Roger.
What do you want?
- Tamera left me a strange
- message on my machine.
- She's stuck
- at some bus station in Chicago.
Chicago? What is
she doing in Chicago?
Maybe it's her kind
of town, Chicago is.
Man, she must have run off
with those weird kids.
All right, guys. Let's go.
You ready to go, Tia?
Uh, yeah, Michael.
On our way home
could we take
a little detour to Chicago?
Chicago?
- Yeah, my sister's stuck
- in a bus station there.
Your sister's 19.
She can take care of herself.
19? She's only 16.
Do you mind?
Look, Michael, um, I have
a confession to make.
Ohh...
I'm not 19 and I don't go
to Wayne state.
I'm just a high school student.
Wow, you sure fooled me.
- Yeah, see I was just pretending
- to be older because
- I wanted to fit
- in with you guys.
Oh, what a tangled web
we weave...
Out, Roger!
Boy, talk about high school...
But, then again,
you are high school.
I'm sorry, Matthew, David,
Courtney, Jennifer, Marcel...
Michael.
I guess I should have known
when you told me you had
20th-century British literature
right after homeroom.
- Look, I know it was my fault
- but my sister's in trouble
- And I'm going
- to need your help now.
So, can you take me to Chicago?
Gee, I'm kind of tired.
How could you be tired?
You had 15 cups of coffee.
Look, Tia, we should end
this thing here and now.
You and your sister
wanted to be adults
- so here's your chance
- to act like it.
You know, Michael
my friend Roger
is much more mature than you.
Well, then, have him drive you.
- He would, but he doesn't have
- his license yet.
- Who wants to go to the dorm
- have coffee and play chess?
Sounds good to me.
Next bus for Milwaukee,
kenosha and green bay
is now departing from gate 3.
You want a tip
on how to get comfy?
Sure.
Go home, get into your own bed.
I wish I could.
Come on, what is it?
Hmmm, it's a very long story.
I just... I wanted to prove
I was as mature
as my twin sister.
I guess,
that's not such a long story.
Why can't I go roller blading
with dinky paterson's.
- Why you kids in such
- a big hurry to grow up?
You outta slow down.
Enjoy being young.
I guess, you would know.
- Probably seen a lot of kids
- like me pass through here
Not really, I read a article
on that lady's home journal.
Oh, there you are, sweetie.
- How are you...
- Hey...
No, not you... no, no, not you.
Lisa, thank you so much
for coming all the way
down here.
I'm glad I could count on you.
- Yeah, yeah. You know honey, -
it's been a four-hour - Ride down here.
- I really got to hit
- that sand box.
Oh, I've been there.
Watch your step.
- Thanks for helping me out,
- Roger.
- I told you,
- when the chips are down
- You aren't going to see
- those college boys
But you can always
depend on me.
And your mother.
She did drive us.
Keep circling, mom.
We'll be right out.
Man, where is tamera?
I don't see her anywhere.
Roger, what are we going to do?
I don't know.
Let me hold you
in my strong arms
until we figure it out.
Shut up, Roger.
Sorry. I just thought
I'd take advantage
of your weak moment.
- Lisa, thank you so much
- for not telling my sister, Tia.
If she found out,
I'd be really humiliated.
Hi, Tia.
Oh, man!
Tamera, are you okay?
Yeah.
- Look, I know what
- you're going to say.
"I told you so."
All right. I'm so much
less mature than you are.
- That's not exactly true,
- tamera.
I'm the one who pretended to be
a 20-year-old college student.
Yeah, you're right.
That is pretty immature.
Tia, is that true?
You lied about your age?
Yes.
- Been there, done that,
- bought that t-shirt.
This is so humiliating.
- At least, we kept
- my dad out of it.
You know, tamera,
I was going to mention
something to you about that.
Oh, hi, honey.
Hello, baby.
Ah, buzz off.
Lisa!
Honey, my caddy broke down
in kalamazoo.
I had to call somebody.
I told you that was your mom
waving that safety flare.
Let's go to the car.
Tamera, are you okay?
Dad, I'm fine.
- I'm sorry I put
- you guys all through this.
But, dad, before
you say anything
I've learned a valuable lesson.
I shouldn't try
to grow up too fast.
Finally, something
I said sunk in.
Actually, Walter
over there said it.
Hi. Got the new issue
of parents magazine
if you want to take a look-see.
- Dad, this is
- pretty embarrassing
- But at least nobody
- outside my family and friends
Know what an idiot
I've made of myself.
Tamera Campbell, report
to the information desk.
Your daddy is looking for you.
Oh, dad!
But I was worried, sugar lumps.
I'm still here, baby.
Good. Stay here.
Cold.
Oh, what a night.
What time is it?
7:30 in the morning.
Well, I'll just have
to crash here with you guys.
For the last time, Roger.
- -Go home!
- -Go home!
- But you're my baby-sitter,
- sweet thing.
Oh, boy.
- We could have been home
- an hour earlier
If Lisa hadn't made
that one last stop.
I'm supposed to go to Chicago
and not stop at gino's?