Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 1, Episode 4 - Cheater, Cheater - full transcript

Tia! Tamera!

Look what I found!

- Whoa, mom,
- he's so cute.

Oh, he looks

like Garfield.

- Where'd you
- find him?

He is a him, right?

Oh, yeah.

- Yeah, I left
- the fabric store downtown,

- And out of the alleyway
- comes this hungry cat.

- And he jumps right
- into my arms.



- He takes one look at me,
- I look at him...

It's love at first meow.

- Is he still hungry?
- I mean, we can...

- Oh, no... I fed him
- a tuna fish sandwich,

- A hamburger,
- and a root beer float.

- Oh, did you
- hear that?

- Oh, mom, can
- we keep him?

- Yeah, he's a keeper.
- Yes!

Hello!

- Look, for dinner tonight,
- I was thinking

We could all go out...

That's a cat.

- Ooh, good for
- you, ray.

You know your



animal kingdom.

- Lisa said
- we can keep him.

She did?

- Well, I didn't
- exactly say that.

- What I said was... yeah,
- that was pretty much it.

Uh-huh.

- Well, I got a little
- carried away, ray,

But it's your house.

- It's completely
- up to you.

- Look, I don't want
- to be the bad guy,

- But, uh...
- Please, dad?

Well, he's gonna have fleas.

Listen to him purr.

Purr, purr...

He's gonna get hair

all over the place.

We'll call him

"little ray."

Please?

Please?

- All right, I guess
- we can keep him.

- Thanks!
- Thanks!

And little ray

says thanks.

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew

how much I missed you ♪

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ no, it won't be

trouble-proof ♪

♪ never knew

how much I missed you ♪

♪ I ain't never gonna

let... you... go ♪

Tia, have you seen

my history book?

- I can't find
- it anywhere.

- Well, where were you
- studying last?

Studying?

- Never mind. - Here it is.
- Oh.

- I found it.
- Great!

Perfect size.

As you can see,

- we have different approaches
- to education.

- I use my books
- for studying.

- I use mine
- for ventilation.

- You know, you can't
- get through life

Without an education.

- Try getting through life
- without air.

- Tamera!
- Tia.

- Tamera!
- Good guess.

- Did you hear that
- the history exam's

Gonna be 40% of our grade?

- You guys, um, I just passed
- by the teachers' lounge,

And they're sitting in

front of the stack

of history books

laughing like maniacs.

- Well, we better
- hit the books.

- You guys ever hear
- of burnout?

- Save something
- for high school.

- You know, you're
- right, tamera.

- Wait a minute.
- How do you do that?

Do what?

- How can you
- tell them apart?

Oh... look at...

- Any dufus could
- do that one.

- Good morning,
- Tia, tamera.

That's tamera.

Oh, uh, right.

Thanks, Jamie.

I'm Sarah.

Of course

you are.

Well, uh, Tia.

Um, I'm Tia.

Of course you are.

- Your, uh, your grades came
- in from your old school,

- And it seems you're
- an honor student.

She is?

- They sent your honor
- roll certificate,

- A button,
- a bumper sticker,

- And your retainer you left
- in your old locker.

- That's not my
- retainer.

Ew.

I'll take care of it.

Good work, Tia.

And tamera...

Nice jacket.

Whoa, I can't believe

- that an honor student's
- actually in the crew.

Uh-oh,

brain on board.

Don't worry, Tia,

we won't tell anybody.

- Tell anybody what?
- What's goin' on?

- Tia made the
- honor roll.

Wow!

Beauty and brains?

You think you could tutor me?

- Roger, you're an
- "a" student.

But I can still

learn so much from you.

Give it up, Roger.

I'll pay you.

Call me!

Hey...

What? What?

- Come back here,
- you little hairball!

Look what you've done!

- Why are you yelling
- at little ray?

Look what he did!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Now, ray,

now we don't know

that he did it.

What do you mean?

- He was right
- there.

- There-there's
- claw marks,

- And his hair is
- on the chair.

That's circumstantial

evidence, ray.

Look, his collar.

- What about that,
- huh?

He was framed.

That was my

favorite chair.

- Well, now look,
- just relax, ray.

- Now, I sew for
- a living.

I can fix it.

- I just want you to know
- I hate that cat.

- He's just here to - bring a little joy
- In your life.

Like me.

- Hi, mom.
- Hi.

Hey, what happened

to the chair?

We don't know

for sure.

- But we have a prime
- hairy suspect.

- So, how was school,
- girls?

- Lame.
- It was okay.

- The vice principal
- gave me this.

Uh-oh.

Oh, it's just some

honor roll stuff.

Hey, congratulations!

- And you keep your
- uh-oh's to yourself.

Ooh, look at this.

A bumper sticker.

All I need is a car

to put it on.

- I'm so proud of
- you, honey!

That is great, Tia.

Phi beta Tia.

Tia's been an honor

student ever since

I can remember.

- In nursery school, while - all the
other girls were - Finger painting...

- Mom, don't tell
- the story.

Eiffel Tower,

out of Clay.

Mom...

- It's all right to - brag about your
- Own daughter.

Right, ray?

Hey, what else are

they good for, huh?

- You, uh,
- you know, uh,

- Tamera's a pretty
- good student herself.

I am?

Yes, dear.

- Uh, tell 'em about
- those awards you got.

For good citizenship

and kickball.

Yes.

Well-behaved

and a foot of steel.

- Well, I don't know
- about you, ray,

- But I was never a
- great student.

No!

Excuse me,

boy genius.

I made the honor roll

a couple times.

I didn't know that.

Yes, my favorite

subject was history.

- Really?
- Mine, too!

- No kidding?
- Look, if you could go back

- To any time in history,
- where would you go?

No contest.

The renaissance.

Ah, molte bene.

I love the renaissance.

Can you imagine meeting

the doge of venice?

Oh, you hear that, ray?

She knows the doge.

Or going to Lorenzo

de medici's palazzo

- and seeing all
- that incredible art.

- What about when cimabue
- tried to brush away the fly

In giotto's paintings?

- And the fly was part
- of the painting.

Oh...

You're really

looking good, ray.

Well, thanks.

- I've been burning time
- at the old gym.

- I was talking
- to little ray.

Oh.

Of course you were.

So that's great about Tia.

Yeah, she works

so hard.

- You know, I don't know
- what it is,

- But Tia actually
- likes to study.

My child.

Defies my imagination.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- That's right, get out of here,
- you little hairball.

You know, you must be

really proud of Tia.

Yeah, I can't wait

till she gets famous,

- so I can ride her coattails
- and tell everybody off.

- How'd you get her
- to study so hard?

- Oh, when she was a baby, I used
- to read to her all the time.

- Anything I could
- get my hands on.

You know what her favorite was?

No, what?

The back of the

cream of wheat box.

The classics.

Oh, no, no.

- We were into modern
- literature, too.

- Trix, cocoa puffs,
- cap'n crunch.

- You know, I tried everything
- to encourage Tamara.

But she just doesn't

work as hard as Tia.

I guess she just isn't

the studying kind.

She's a bright kid.

- You give her some time.
- Yeah.

- You know, if Tamara ever
- made the honor roll,

I would tell the world.

Tia, have you seen

my history book?

- You're not gonna open
- that window.

It's too cold.

No, I'm gonna study.

- Are you feeling
- all right?

Yeah, I just want to make

an 'a' on the test tomorrow.

- Tamera, are you
- doing all this

- Because I made the
- honor roll?

You made the honor roll?

Oh. Congratulations.

- Do you need
- any help?

I mean, our teachers

are covering the

same material.

No, no, I'm fine.

It's just time for me

to get off my butt.

Okay, I'm going to bed.

I always like to get a good

night's sleep before a test.

I usually get my sleep

during the test.

Good night.

Good night.

Okay, I can do this.

I've got my pen,

my pencil,

highlighter, dictionary,

tic tacs...

I'm ready to study.

What chapters are

on the test again?

Oh, um, one through 14.

Ooh.

Tia, I can't do it!

- Do what?
- The history test.

- I can't take it.
- Can't pass it.

You gotta help me!

You're just nervous.

You'll do fine.

- No, I'm a wreck.
- I'm gonna fail!

- No, you won't.
- Yes, I will.

- Tia, I can't
- remember anything.

- You've gotta take the test
- for me, please!

You mean cheat?

No, no, it's not cheating.

- You see, if I was
- sitting next to you,

- Looking at your paper,
- that would be cheating.

- But I'm not even gonna
- be in the room.

I can't be you.

Sure you can.

We shared a chromosome.

- It'll be like
- old times.

Tamera, I'm not

gonna do it.

You've got to!

- I have to make
- the honor roll.

I need a bumper sticker!

Tamera, you're losing it.

Tia, you don't know

what I'm going through.

You know how your mom

is always proud of you?

I just want my dad

to feel the same way.

Well, we're never

gonna pull it off.

Tia, you're the only one

who can help me.

I can't believe

I'm doing this.

- Thanks. Oh, and,
- Tia, remember,

- I tap my pencil
- when I'm nervous,

- And sometimes I
- bite my nails.

Okay.

- You're the
- best, Tia.

Okay, great.

Oh, go, go, go!

Okay.

- Oh, and, Tia.
- Yeah?

I need a 96.

- Tamera, come on, hurry up.
- Take a seat.

Right, yeah.

- I'm gonna take my seat now,
- absolutely.

Ooh, here I go.

This is me, tamera, sitting.

I'll alert the media.

Hey, tamera,

remember what we were

talking about yesterday?

Uh-huh, sure.

So what do you say,

yes or no?

Uh, yes.

Great!

Pick you up Friday night.

Wear something sexy.

All right.

You may begin the test.

Pencils down.

Pass your papers to the front.

Hey, Tia.

Hey.

- What are you doing
- in tamera's class?

It's a long story.

Tell me about

it, Tia.

We didn't mean it.

- We'll never
- do it again.

We're really sorry.

He got the point.

- I just
- can't stop.

- I feel so guilty
- about everything.

- Yeah, but did you
- have to tell him about

Stealing the comic book

when you were five?

I just felt like

clearing the air.

Hey, tamera,

see you Friday night...

Sexy.

What?

I'll tell you later.

We have enough problems.

- So what happened?
- What'd he say?

It was awful.

You should have seen

the way he looked at us...

Like we were cheaters.

We are cheaters.

- Now we'll always be
- known as cheaters.

- Everywhere we
- go, cheaters.

- Now I'll never
- be president.

Get a grip, Tia.

- It's not like
- the whole world knows.

Hey, girls, I heard

you guys were cheating.

Who told you?

It's all over school.

- Bobby told Adam
- who told Ralph who told Larry.

- Notice I didn't
- mention any girls.

They're not part of my loop.

- What are we
- gonna do?

- Sarah, you're always
- in trouble.

What happens next?

- All right, the
- principal is definitely

- Gonna call your house
- this afternoon.

- It's usually around
- 4:00 or 5:00.

- And if your parents are
- anything like my parents,

You'll be dead by 6:00,

ah, 6:15.

Whenever my dad's

- disappointed in me,
- he just looks at me, hurt.

Then he gets into his car

and goes for a drive.

I hope he comes back soon.

That's so sad, Roger.

Want to

cheer me up?

- We can't let
- our folks find out.

- You guys got to get home
- and intercept the call.

- We're already
- cheaters.

You want us to

be liars, too?

Do you want my dad

and your mom to find out?

Oh, gosh, we're

gonna be liars.

No one's

upstairs.

No one's in the kitchen.

Okay, all we have to do

is get that call.

- I can't believe I
- listened to you.

- I know. You're the one
- that got us into trouble.

- Me? I did
- it for you!

Well, who asked you?

You did!

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

- That's the
- principal.

- Okay, we got to be
- our parents.

- Okay, you be
- your dad.

- I can't be my dad.
- You be your mom!

- I can't be my mom.
- You be my mom!

- No, you!
- No, you!

- You!
- You!

Hello.

Yes.

This is Lisa Landry.

It's the principal.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

They did what?!

I don't believe that! Oh!

Tia! Tamera!

Get your twin butts

down here now!

Okay, mom!

- We'll be
- right there!

Uh, I have to go now.

I got four cheeks

to make rosy.

Bye-bye.

We did it!

You were great.

We're in the clear.

Oh!

- Hi, girls.
- How was your day?

We cheated.

- I just can't
- believe you two.

- What were you
- thinking about?

- What was going on
- in your heads?

Nothing.

- Ray and Lisa:
- Nothing.

- You two could be suspended
- for something like this.

- This could go
- on your permanent record.

- I wish we could
- take it back.

Ha!

- Now they want
- to take it back.

- Hmm, that ship
- has sailed.

- We didn't mean
- to do it.

- Ray and Lisa:
- They didn't mean to do it.

We're sorry.

- You're gonna be
- more than sorry.

Tia, I am so

disappointed in you!

How could you do this?

I don't know.

(Sobbing,

(mumbling)

guilty!

- I'm glad you told
- the truth, honey.

Anybody get that?

I'm really sorry.

Tamera, don't you have

something to say?

I think Tia

said it all.

What?

- What's the
- matter with you?

- Nothing's the matter
- with me, okay?

No, it's not okay.

I want to know why you're

being such a smart aleck.

Well, at least

you finally think

I'm smart about something.

- And what is that
- supposed to mean?

It means you think

I'm the dumb one.

Tamera!

Tamera!

Tia, you know,

I expected more of you.

- You know what you did
- was bad.

Yeah, mom, bad.

- But you did it
- for good reasons.

Yeah, good, good.

But it was still bad.

Oh, yeah,

bad, bad.

- Well, I know you're just
- trying to help somebody, honey.

- I know what you're
- going through.

You do?

Did you ever

cheat, mom?

No, baby.

- I made my "d" s
- the good old-fashioned way:

I earned 'em.

- Tamera, where'd you get
- this "dumb one" idea?

Dad, let's just forget it.

No, I will not forget it.

I want to know.

From you, okay?

From me?

Yeah.

- You guys were talking
- about the honor roll

And bumper stickers

and giotto and his fly.

You did all this because

of something I said?

You went on and on

with Tia.

And then...

And then you said

you'd tell the world

if I was an honor student.

You heard that?

Tamera, don't you know

how great I think you are?

It doesn't matter, dad.

It does matter.

Tamera, I'm always thinking

about the things you've done.

- I remember the first
- time you walked.

- You didn't just walk, you
- sort of ran across the room.

- When I bought you
- your first bike,

- You wouldn't even let me put
- the training wheels on it.

You wanted to make

it on your own.

- And how about the - third grade play?
- You were the star.

- I was just one of
- the bumblebees.

You were the best Bumblebee.

I forgot my pollination speech

and ran

off stage.

You didn't just run off stage,

you sort of buzzed off stage.

- You buzzed all around
- the auditorium.

I couldn't

find the exit.

But no one knew.

- You made it like it was
- part of the play,

The best part of the play.

You're always doing

creative things like that.

- But I'm not gonna
- make the honor roll.

- Forget about the honor roll!
- But Tia...

Forget about Tia.

- She has nothing
- to do with this.

What do you want to do?

Well, I guess I wouldn't mind

being on the honor roll,

just to see

what it's like.

Well, you could

buzz around the library.

I'm sorry about

all this, dad.

I'm sorry, too, honey.

- It pains me to have to
- ground you for two weeks.

Huh?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Okay.

Dad,

did you really think

I was the best Bumblebee?

Yeah.

Can I get a week off for it?

Just being creative.

I'm grounded.

Me, too.

Are you mad at me?

A little.

Tia, I'm sorry

I got you in trouble.

I guess I was

kind of competitive.

- It won't
- be so bad.

I mean, we're only

grounded for a week.

A week?

I got two weeks!

I think

that's fair.

Yeah, I guess it is.

- So what do you
- want to do?

Well, we can sit

here and sulk,

or we can go up to

our room and study.

Sulk.

Hey, girls, can I hang

out with you guys?

Study.

You better go study!

You cheaters!

So we blew that one.

- But on the next history test,
- we did a lot better.

- Tia got an "a,"
- and I got a "b."

- But, you see, I had a lot
- of catching up to do.

So I guess my "b" is

better than her "a."

Which makes me

the smart one.

Huh?

See what I mean?

- Anyway, I guess
- everyone's happy.

Well, almost

everybody.

Lisa! Lisa!

You love it, huh?

- What were you
- thinking?!

- What did you do
- to my chair?!

- I brought it back
- from the dead.

I loved the

old fabric.

- That wasn't your palette, ray,
- it was winter.

You're spring.

- I don't care what
- season it is.

- It doesn't go with
- anything in here.

- You wait till I finish
- the rest of this room.

No, no, no.

- You leave this
- room alone.

And I want that chair-ripping

fur ball out of here!

- I want my old
- chair back.

- Okay, okay, everything will be
- boring, just like you like it.

Fine. That's just

the way I like it.

- Uh, ray.
- Yes?

Have a nice day.

Okay.

Ooh, come on, little ray.

The bad man's gone.

Chow, chow, chow.