Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 1, Episode 5 - Out Alone - full transcript

Tia and Tamera go to a movie and get lost on the bus ride home. Lisa convinces Ray to take "Little Ray" to the vet but Ray doesn't want to pay for the bill. Will Lisa be able to come up with the cash?

I just love weddings.

Danielle, Danielle,

quit fidgeting.

Aren't we finished yet?

That's what I said

on my wedding night.

Well, I bet you two have

broken some hearts.

Yeah.

- Do you have
- a lot of boyfriends?

No.



They have plenty of time.

- Yeah, that's what
- I used to think,

- But I tell you, it's been
- pretty dry out there.

Mm-hmm.

You're lucky you found

my son, Winston.

In a world of hamburgers,

he's top sirloin.

Hey, and I've been looking,

and the best think I could

find was a rump roast.

Hello.

Hi.

Somebody pass me



the a-1 sauce.

- Everybody,
- this is ray Campbell.

- His house.
- Hi.

Hi, I'm Charlotte.

Always a bridesmaid,

never a bride...

Yet.

Hang in there.

My, ray, this is

a lovely home.

You must do quite well.

He owns a limo service,

and I'll bet he'd be

willing to give you

- a great rate
- for the wedding.

Well, our budget's

kind of tight.

It's either the limo or buying

your accessories, Lisa.

You know, forget that limo.

What you need is a

bustier and a bus pass.

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew

how much I missed you ♪

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♪ I ain't never gonna

let... you... go ♪

Uh, ma'am, it's ten

items or less.

Well, I only have ten.

Ten fabulous

gourmet items.

See... four, six, eight, oh...

Well, I'm counting all the

dairy products as one.

At food boy,

that's, uh, 13.

Uh, well, these are hers.

So is this your first

time at food boy?

Yeah, we got banned

from piggly wiggly.

So, paper or plastic?

Oh, plastic, I guess.

Since you're so cute,

how about I give you both?

Donny, could you check

the price on the papayas?

Could you bring me up

a six-pack of yoplait

- and check the expiration date?
- Thanks, Donny.

Hey, lady, you got

people waitin'.

Come on.

Oh, back off, Mr. Clean.

Oh, pizza for one?

What a shock.

- So what's your
- name anyway?

Tia. Tia Landry.

- So maybe I could call
- you sometime?

Maybe I'll answer.

Okay, that'll be $36.02.

Oh, almost forgot

my coupons.

Coupons?

Come on, lady!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, here, Mr. Pizza man,

30 cents off on some brillo.

Go buff your head.

Hold still.

I am so proud my little girl

can still wear white.

Yeah, with a red border.

- Why don't you have
- a little bit more bubbly?

It's chateau de food boy.

Hello.

Hi.

Oh, well, I see everyone

is still here.

- Uh, well, I hope you
- don't mind, ray.

- My work space got
- a little cramped.

Oh, that's okay.

I'll just hide out

in my bedroom.

I wouldn't do that, ray.

I'm using that as

a changing area.

Oh, fine.

I hate you.

Let's get a man's opinion.

Ray, what do you think?

I think she's one of

the most beautiful brides

I've ever seen.

Thank you.

So...

How did a handsome man like

you manage to stay single?

I think he's

holding out for me.

Well, I might just give you

a little run for your money.

Race you to the door.

This is so great.

A real car date?

Yeah, in a real car.

With a 16-year-old guy?

Excuse me.

- Did I hear the words
- "car" and "date"

- In the same sentence with
- "16-year-old guy"?

Yeah, isn't it great?

Tamera, you're too

young to be going

out on a car date.

No, dad, you don't understand.

Look, ray, you got to

learn to trust your kid.

Mm-hmm...

When I was her age, I went

out on plenty of car dates.

There's a

recommendation.

- Now my daughter's
- definitely not going.

I know.

Her daughter is.

Ooh...

Excuse me?

I got the date.

- You? Uh-uh!
- No way.

Not my baby.

But mom...

- Uh-uh, no way,
- not my baby.

- Tell her, Lisa.
- Lock her up.

- Lisa, you've got to learn
- to trust your kid.

You are not going.

Mom, that's not fair.

- Well, it doesn't
- have to be fair.

I'm your mother.

And mamas always

know best.

Right, mama?

The bubbly?

(To the tune of

("here comes the bride"):

Oh, hi, honey.

Still mad at me?

Yeah.

Why is it okay for tamera

to go, but not me?

Answer me that.

- 'Cause I carried you
- for nine months.

Mom, I'm adopted.

I'm talking about before

I could afford that stroller.

Come on, mom, you think

tamera's more mature than I am.

Look, honey,

I love tamera.

I love her like a daughter.

But, but I... I don't know...

I guess I'm more

careful with you.

Don't you think I can

take care of myself?

Honey, I trust you.

- It's that boy
- I don't trust.

I mean, he's 16.

I'm 14.

Those two years are

a big difference.

They're like dog years.

I mean, he shaves,

he drives.

Probably got a wife

and kids someplace.

Mom...

Tia, I know how

much you want this,

but I'm just

not comfortable

with you going out

on a car date.

Okay, fine.

I'll just stay

home, by myself,

thinking about how other

people are having a life.

Hey, I'm the mom here.

- Guilt trips are
- my department.

- I'm sorry, Tia,
- you're not going.

Tia, you, you...

Tia...

- Okay, yeah, you can go.
- You can go on your car date.

- I can?
- Yeah, yeah.

On one condition.

- It's got to be
- a double date.

With you? No way.

- I'm flattered, but I
- wasn't talking about me.

I'm talking about tamera.

Oh, tamera.

Great.

- I think Russell
- has an older brother

- Who just got out
- of the marines.

Tia!

Just kidding, mom.

Ha, ha.

Thanks, mom.

So what's wrong

with those guys?

Tia, they have to ask

me out, remember?

So? Get aggressive.

We only have one more day.

- Anybody want to go
- with my sister?

She'll pay you.

- Why don't you just write my
- name in the boys' bathroom?

I already did.

Hi, tamera.

I just read you need

a date for this weekend.

No, I don't, Roger.

Come on, word has

it you're desperate.

I'm great with desperate women.

Yes, she'll go out with you.

- I got a date - with tamera!
- I got a...

- I'm not going
- out with him.

- Well, I'd do
- it for you.

Ew, he makes

my flesh crawl.

No offense.

None taken.

I like a dominating woman.

Please just go out

with him, for me.

All right, I'll go out

with him this Saturday,

but it's not a date.

It's a non-date.

An UN-date.

In no way is this a date.

- I got a date
- with tamer...!

Trust me, Roger,

nothing's gonna happen.

You'll have your version,

and I'll have mine.

This belong to someone?

I knew I was feeling

kind of jiggly.

So, ray, how

do I look?

Well, you look very,

uh... uh... uh... green.

- I think I'll get
- some coffee.

Need some help?

If I run into any

trouble, I'll call.

Excuse me.

I think he likes you.

Hi.

I'm just taking some aspirin.

Headache, huh?

Yeah, and a good

case of nerves.

- Pre-wedding
- jitters...

I think that's normal.

I guess so.

- I know Winston's
- a great guy,

But I worry I'm making

a mistake sometimes.

Really?

I mean, he smells

his socks every morning

before he puts them on.

His teeth click

when he eats fruit,

and, I don't know,

can I live with that

for the rest of my life?

- Look, everybody
- goes through that.

But marriage is...

He smells his socks?

Oh, this is so scary.

- What was your
- wedding day like?

Oh, I had a big wedding.

- Everybody I knew in
- the world was there.

I was so nervous,

my knees were shaking

as I stood at the altar.

Oh, that's so cute.

Oh, I didn't feel cute.

Oh, I was scared.

- You know, thinking
- about the future,

Wondering if I was

doing the right thing,

but when I lifted that veil,

I knew everything was

gonna be all right.

All my fears went away

with that first kiss.

Thanks, ray.

Yeah.

You know, I think he

is a very lucky man.

Oh, my lord!

Uh, uh...

That's not Winston!

- Danielle,
- are you crazy?!

Ray, get off her!

- Uh, we're stuck.
- A pin right here.

I'm calling my son.

Oh, no, mother Palmer,

please!

Hold it!

It's not what you think!

Cancel the wedding

dresses!

The wedding is off!

Oh, no, no, no! Look!

- Look, I'll give you
- ten percent off. 20%!

I'll marry Winston!

Danielle, come on.

We're going home!

You oughta be ashamed

of yourself.

You're just a big

pile of beans!

Guess this is a bad time

to ask you to sew this.

- I didn't kiss that girl.
- She kissed me!

You expect me to believe

- that a pretty young thing
- like that threw herself

At an old pervert like you?

Well, it's true.

And don't call me old.

You coulda fought her off.

Now I'm out $2,000!

- I was just
- an innocent bystander.

Innocent?!

I saw your eyes

rollin' back in

your head

like a shark gettin'

all hot and bothered.

I wasn't gettin' all...

It was kinda hot,

though, wasn't it?

I knew it!

I knew it!

I knew it!

I knew it!

You liked it!

I tried to stop her!

Yeah, right.

- I got me a little success,
- a little baby corn,

A little stinky cheese,

and you gotta ruin it

with your crusty old lips.

- Well, I didn't do it
- on purpose.

I guess she just found me

irresistible.

Puh-leeze!

Look, I'll just call her and...

No, no, no, you've

done quite enough.

- Now I'll get on the phone
- and play cupid

- And fix this
- whole thing up.

You big buttafucco.

- Believe me, I really feel bad
- about all this.

Oh...

- I wasn't doin' nothin',
- nothin', just nothin'.

Oh, don't worry.

- I'll just leave you
- two alone.

- I customized
- it myself.

Isn't that great?

Yeah, great, especially after

those chili fries.

Oh, I'm sorry. I guess you're

feelin' a little sick.

- Well, if you're
- gonna hurl...

Paper or plastic?

Look at all those stars.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

Yeah, isn't it amazing?

Out of all those millions

and billions of stars,

we're here contemplating

our insignificant place

in this vast universe.

Really makes you

wanna get busy,

doesn't it?

I'll take the plastic.

Go ahead,

ask me anything.

Pretzels.

- Aisle six, next
- to the toilet paper.

Go on. Challenge me,

challenge me!

- I don't think I wanna play
- this anymore, Russell.

- Yeah, you're right.
- I don't either.

It's stupid.

Hey, guess what?

What?

Chicken butt.

I don't get it.

Come on! Chicken butt!

Chicken butt?

Is he serious?

I haven't heard that

since I was a little kid.

Roger, it's not nice

to eavesdrop.

Hey, I didn't eavesdrop.

It's a small car...

Is that your hand

on my knee?

Bad hand!

Now how did you get there?

Roger, let me give you

a little tip.

Girls like guys

who treat them with

respect and maturity.

Chicken butt!

- Russell, look,
- it's getting kind of late,

- And I'd really like
- to head home.

- But we barely had
- time to talk.

I mean, I'd really like to

get to know you better.

That's sweet, Russ.

Okay, well,

- I moved here from across town
- when I met tamera.

- I didn't even know
- I had a twin sister.

Isn't that amazing?

Man, you're hot!

Russ, look, I promised my mom

I'd be home by 11:00.

Well, look, it's cool.

- We still have
- 45 minutes, okay?

Russ, please!

- Come on.
- It's a date.

- We're here
- to have fun.

Russell, I want

to go home!

Loosen up, Tia!

I believe

the lady said no.

- Are you messin'
- with my action?

Back off, food boy.

- Don't make me
- get physical.

- You really think
- I'm scared of you?

- If you wanna tempt fate
- with a crazy man,

Then come on,

chicken butt!

- Danielle, what,
- what're you doing...?

I had to see you, ray.

Look, I am glad

you stopped by.

- I really feel I owe
- you an apology.

Oh, not at all.

- Kissing you was one
- of the best things

- That ever happened to me.
- I mean that.

Look, Danielle...

Ray, it's all right.

I don't think you realize the

impact your kiss had on me.

Well, I have been told

I have gifted lips.

They definitely had

an effect on me.

Well, it happens.

Yeah, that impulsive,

meaningless little kiss

saved my marriage.

Yes, look, Danielle,

we can't... what?

It helped me realize

how in love I am

with Winston.

Your kiss meant nothing.

You mean like nothing?

- Yeah, kind of like kissing
- my grandma.

You mean that real

old lady who called

me a pile of beans?

Yeah, isn't it great?

Yeah, it's real great.

- Well, look, tell Lisa
- I'll call her tomorrow

To finish the fitting.

I can't thank you enough.

Yeah, well...

- I'm really glad
- I could help out.

Ah, Lisa, great news.

Um, I just broke up

with Danielle and

saved the wedding.

Oh, good goin'... grandma.

You heard, huh?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I must have

been a real jerk.

Ray, you didn't

believe that, did you?

What do you mean?

Couldn't you see

through that?

She was coverin'.

- She knew she
- couldn't have you.

Yeah, she could.

No, she knew you

weren't ready for

a relationship,

so she had to come up

with an excuse

to protect her feelings.

Yeah, right.

No, her marryin'

the other guy is a

way of savin' face.

- I'll bet on the
- wedding night,

She'll slip and cry

out, "ray, ray..."

- Lisa, I know
- what you're doing.

You're just trying

to make me feel better.

But there is a lot of truth

in what you just said.

Men...

Boys.

- Yeah, I should have known
- when he started

- With that
- "chicken butt" stuff.

- Why are all
- the cute ones such jerks?

Not all of us.

- Thanks for everything,
- Roger.

You really came through.

Yeah, you're okay, Roger.

Is that your subtle

way of saying you're...

Hopelessly

in love with me?

Don't push your luck.

This is the best night

of my life.

Twin kisses?

I may never wash

these cheeks again.

Go home, Roger.

Okay, but nothin's gonna bring

me down tonight.

Ow! I'm still happy.

- Hi, honey.
- How're you doin'?

Oh, fine.

You're back...

From your date.

Yeah.

Your date's over?

Yep.

So, no more date.

Yep.

Don't make me beg.

- Mom, I really don't feel
- like talkin' about this.

- Just because we're mother
- and daughter doesn't mean

We can't be girlfriends.

I mean, people could

mistake us for sisters...

From a distance...

If they had cataracts.

Whatever you say, mom.

Come on. Let's dish.

Okay.

Well, when

I first saw Russell,

- I thought
- I really liked him.

- Mm-hmm, - first impressions always
- Play with my head, too.

- Right. I mean, you're checkin'
- out the car and the haircut.

- Mmm-hmm, too much juice
- in the jheri curl,

And they out the door.

He looked good,

but once he started talkin',

I just realized

it was nothing but

a physical attraction.

Physical attraction?

Yeah, he had it goin' on!

- You know what I mean,
- girlfriend?

Whoo!

Go to bed!

- But I thought we were
- girlfriends.

We just broke up.

Did that boy make

a move on you?

You really wanna know?

Of course I don't.

Tell me.

Mom, he was a boring creep.

Nothing happened, and it was

the worst night of my life.

Oh, baby.

Chicken butt.

What was that?

You don't wanna know.

- I've been meaning
- to ask you,

- How was that, uh,
- double date?

Weird.

Roger came through for us,

and the good-looking guy

turned out to be a dud.

- I guess that means that looks
- aren't everything.

For instance...

Dad, come on.

No, I'm serious.

- There are a lot of
- great people out there.

- I don't want you
- to miss out.

Dad!

Look, I mean it's, it's

personality that counts.

Character.

A good sense of humor.

Hi, ray.

Oh, uh, charmin...

No, it's Charlotte.

Unless you wanted

to squeeze me.

- Where have you
- been hiding?

Oh, here and there.

Mostly there.

Oh, ray, you're so clever.

And you have a great

personality, Charlotte,

and a terrific sense

of humor.

Thanks, sweetie.

Well, um, Charlotte, uh, I was

thinkin' maybe we could,

um, go out Saturday.

I would love to, ray...

Hmm...

But I just met the man

of my dreams.

Oh, darn.

- I guess he who
- hesitates, uh...

See ya.

You'd do anything

to prove a point, huh, dad?

Oh, it's tough

bein' a parent.

Oh, wait!

I just remembered.

- He's gonna be out of town
- Saturday night.