Simon & Simon (1981–1989): Season 2, Episode 20 - The Secret of the Chrome Eagle - full transcript

Simon and Simon Investigations

will guarantee the safe
delivery of this vehicle

even if the hounds
of hell are after us.

Whoa!

[Announcer] Tonight,
on Simon and Simon...

Sergeant, who is this woman?

A thief and a killer.

Boy, this is a great
old car, isn't it?

First they wanna steal her,

then they wanna destroy her.

Makes perfect sense.



According to this
map, he hid almost

100 pounds of pure gold.

A.J., I'm in a terrific mood.

Just don't spoil it, okay?

- What?
- Aah!

♪♪ [theme]

Abbott, L.

Margulies, P.

Brown, B.

Baisel.

Now, now, what've we got here?

Newspaper.

Wonder who it could be for?

Swayze, E.



You don't budge an inch.

Do you?

Princess.

Sir?

Inmate Swayze requests
permission to approach.

Well, holler down
over, sweet face.

I think it's about time

that you and I
got to be friends.

Oh, you bet.

[snickering]

How's come it took
all these many years

for you to give ol'
Ernie a tumble?

Huh, sweet face? How's come?

You know, I can arrange
for special delivery

on that newspaper of yours.

Thank you.

It's more fun when
you take your time.

We ain't got the time.

Mom, it's not that
we don't appreciate

your trying to drum
up the business for us.

Sophie Chalfin is a
dear friend of mine

and she needs our help.

We already gave.

This isn't a charity case, Rick.

She's perfectly capable
of paying your fee.

But Mom...

We are not in the
automobile delivery business.

We're private
investigators, remember?

Now, don't get smart
with me, young man.

I know this isn't the
sort of thing you do,

but someone tried to
steal that car last night,

and Sophie's worried it might
never get to San Francisco.

[Rick groans]

Would you at least talk to her?

Yes, ma'am.

I never did see who
tried to steal the car.

When the alarm
went off, I ran outside,

but the thief had gone.

What kind of a car is it?

It's a very old Cadillac

that my late husband
had for years.

Howard, may he rest in peace,

just loved that car.

He always said to me,

"Sophie, never
sell that car. Never."

And I wouldn't
have, except that...

Howard died of a heart
attack two weeks ago.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

It was so sudden and
unexpected that, um,

he didn't get a chance
to put his estate in order.

He had made some
investments that...

That stunk, that's
what they did.

Howard, may he rest in peace,

was a very considerate man.

But he left me
practically penniless.

So I took an ad in the paper,

and I got a very nice phone call

from a Mr. Paxley
in San Francisco.

He said that if I
delivered the car up there,

he'd give me a check.

Now, Howard always
said that the car

should never go more
than 50 miles an hour.

So I was going to hire one
of those driving services.

Til somebody tried
to steal the car,

and I realized how dangerous
it would be to deliver it.

Now, if you two
would get that car

safely to San Francisco,

I'd be happy to
give you 10 percent

of anything Mr. Paxley gives me.

Mrs. Chalfin, that's very kind,

and we appreciate it.

But it's an old Cadillac.

I mean, how much
could it be worth?

Oh, not very much generally,

but this one happens to
be worth 95,000 dollars.

It's in my house right
now, if you'd like to see it.

I asked Myron to
keep an eye on it.

Good thinking.

[Rick clears throat]

95,000?

[car doors shut]

[footsteps]

- [Rick whistles]
- Good lord.

It's a Chrome Eagle!

- It's a what?
- It's a Chrome Eagle!

I didn't think there
were any of these left.

You know that car?

Do I know this car?

What we have here is a

1935 Cadillac Chrome
Eagle, Sports Phaeton

V12 engine, 370 horses,
one-shot lube system...

And a partridge in a pear tree.

There were only six of
these cars ever made.

Now, I don't know who
this guy Paxley is, but...

He's giving you a fair price.

Now let's see, 10
percent of 95,000 dollars...

- Rick!
- Move the... what?

In the presence
of a work of art,

we do not discuss
commerce. That is tacky.

Mrs. Chalfin, I think I
speak for my brother

when I say that Simon
and Simon Investigations

will guarantee the safe
delivery of this vehicle,

even if the hounds
of hell are after us.

All right if I take her
out for a little spin?

I wouldn't mind at all.

[Rick] No, no, no.
It's nothing like that.

No, it's just one of
those last-minute things!

I am driving up
there with my brother

and spare me the cutesy remarks.

No, there's no girl.

[knocking]

Look, uh...

I'll call you when
I get back, okay?

Yeah. Bye.

Mr. Simon?

Uh... Yeah.

My name's Rick.

- I'm Eleanor Swanson, Rick.
- Hi.

My friends call me Ellie.

Well, Ellie.

What can I do for you?

You can take me with
you to San Francisco.

- [laughs]
- I heard about
the Chrome Eagle.

Oh. Oh, you're an
old car buff, huh?

An old car rider.

I freelance for Auto
Tran, Road and Tire,

and I think I could
sell either one of 'em

an article about the
journey of the Chrome Eagle.

Uh-huh.

If you'd let me come with you,

I'll be happy to pay
all the expenses.

Well, uh... I really
would have to talk

to my brother
that, and right now,

he's out getting the
car gassed and, uh...

Oiled.

And, um... Uh, the trip...

I mean, we're gonna
take our time, you know,

going up there. It could
be two or three days.

I'm sure we could work out

some sort of sleeping
arrangements.

Probably.

So of course, you said
she could come along.

Of course I did.
How could you refuse

an approach like that?

She's supposed to meet us here.

Wait til you see her.
You'll understand.

I'm thirsty, fellas.

Myron, you're supposed
to be watching the car.

Hey, lighten up, A.J.

I got my camper blocking
it. It's going nowhere.

And there's also some
foxy-looking blonde out there

that says she's going with you.

Yeah, I'll bet that's
what she says.

Excuse me, Myron.

- You're taking golf clubs?
- Certainly.

Never know when you might
wanna do a little shooting.

Broads?

Golf clubs?

A.J., is that the
way I taught you

how to handle a case?

Mm-hmm.

Broads and golf clubs.

[engine stops]

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Mrs. Chalfin?

Yes.

Sergeant Donegan.

Police officer.

You're from New Orleans.

Yes, uh, I just
transferred out here.

They haven't issued
me a new badge yet.

My husband an I used
to live in New Orleans.

Oh, did you know?

Sergeant, haven't we met before?

Perhaps.

In New Orleans,
about three years ago?

After that trouble where
my husband worked?

Yes, that's possible.

I think you're the one
who searched our house.

With Howard's
permission of course.

He was never actually a suspect,

at least he told
me he wasn't, but...

Sergeant, what do you want?

I told the police
everything I know

about the break-in last night.

Could this be the person
that tried to steal your car?

I'm sorry, but I
didn't see who it was.

Ms. Chalfin, is
it possible for me

to see that old car of yours?

You'll have to hurry.

It's on Highway 23 right now,

en route to San Francisco.

Sergeant, who is this woman?

A thief and a killer.

A.J., does this baby
drive as good as she rides?

Well, aside from the fact
that she seems to be missing

on one cylinder,
she is superlative.

[engine stops]

Okay.

Pit stop.

Ellie?

That's okay, A.J. I'm fine.

Okay.

Go ahead, Rick.
I'll watch the car.

It's all right.

I can wait.

Boy, this is a great
old car, isn't it?

Yeah, great.

I'm sorry, Rick.

About what?

That you and I don't
have more time together.

[coughs]

That didn't take long, did it?

Hey!

[Rick] What?

You ripped the seat!

I did not!

- You did!
- Aw, come on!

- Look at that!
- What are you talking about?

Look!

Well, I didn't do that.

Yeah, well it
certainly wasn't ripped

when I left to go
to the bathroom.

It had to be ripped when
you went to the bathroom

'cause I didn't do it.

I know very well I didn't do it.

I heard it rip when
you moved over.

Maybe it just got
caught on something.

Maybe I didn't.

I gotta go to the head.

Ignore him.

Huh?

Hey!

Boy, you don't fool around.

[laughs] Define fool around.

Yeah, well I mean... I
know what you mean.

When I see something
I like, I go after it.

Yeah, well a moment ago

I saw you going
after my brother.

Yeah, well, it didn't
work out with us.

But I would really
like to go someplace

where you and I could
be alone together.

Well, maybe some other time.

Whenever you say.

So, you write for Photo
Trans magazine, huh?

Every chance I get.

That's funny. You know,
I read that magazine

all the time. I don't recall
ever seeing your name

on any of the articles.

Oh, that's 'cause I
write under the name

of Warren Pike. Car
magazine readers

aren't supposed to
like women writers.

Ah.

You get along okay
with Pete Chambers?

Sure.

Well, you know, I've just
heard he's a tough editor.

He was, til he got
to be publisher.

Okay.

He ever show you his car?

Which one?

He's got quite a collection.

No, yeah, I know. But I
mean the Pope-Toledo.

That's my favorite, anyway.

Oh, yeah. I love that one, too.

Yeah. Oh, God,
isn't that a beauty?

Wow.

What is that? Is that
a 1916, or a 1917?

Uh... I don't remember.

Probably a '17.

Lady,

they made the last
Pope-Toledo in 1909.

They never made
a 1916 or a 1917,

and anybody who knows anything

about automobiles knows that.

Now, I don't know who
you are or what you want,

and I haven't got
time to find out.

I've got a very
expensive car to deliver.

But there is something
definitely scary about you.

Something that
smells like trouble.

And you can get out right now.

Now, there's a little town
just half a mile down the road

so it's not like we're
abandoning you

in the middle of nowhere.

Out.

Rick?

[sighs]

Let's do a lunch sometime.

[engine starts]

Well, now what do we
do for entertainment?

Sing.

Hello, Eleanor!

Come on now, Eleanor.

Put that toad-sticker away.

Since when did
you get to be a killer?

That's not your style.

You're not taking
me back, Donegan.

Okay, I'm not taking you back.

Wait a minute.

What are you doing out here?

This isn't your turf.

I've retired. I come out
here for the sunshine.

I knew the old geezer
Chalfin was in on it.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

You help me get
the car, Eleanor,

and I'll split 60/40 with you.

And maybe we can mix a
little pleasure with the business.

Donegan.

You always were the
crookedest cop on the go.

Well, I try.

That was you who
tried to steal the car

the other night, wasn't it?

We split 50/50.

[laughs]

Thank you.

[A.J., Rick] Thank you.

Any idea what kind of alarm?

Yeah. It's an
Auto-Warn, model 20.

It's a piece of cake.

Just keep the engine running.

Well, looks like the
Eagle's got another admirer.

Ugly one, too.

Yeah, I better go warn
him before he touches it.

No, no, no. Wait a
minute, wait a minute.

I wanna see what
happens when he sets it off.

It's a terrific alarm system.

Watch this, watch this.

That ugly son of a
gun's gonna jump a mile.

[A.J., Rick] Hey!

Go!

[tires peel]

Everything looks okay.

I don't think he hurt anything.

Mm... Was that Ellie driving?

Yeah, I think so.

Who was the guy?

I don't know.

Somebody who wants the
Chrome Eagle awfully bad.

Even badder than you think.

Take a look at this.
You remember this?

Yes, I remember that.
That's the rip you made.

It's the rip you
accused me of making.

Yeah, well, all I know is...

Just knock it off
for a minute, will ya?

It's not a rip at all.

This thing goes all the
way through to the backseat.

What?

Look.

Like somebody sitting
in the backseat made it.

Maybe somebody with
something like a knife.

What are you trying to tell me?

Do I have to spell
this out for you?

- You mean...
- Ayah, I mean.

Go ahead and pass her.

She's got plenty of power.
Just keep it under 50.

Okay.

I see what you mean about
missing on one cylinder.

- It's a good thing she's
got 11 more.
- Yup.

Oh, no. Not again.

- [gunshots]
- Whoa!

[gunshots]

[tires screech]

Turn around! Get out of here!

[gunshots]

Thought they'd never leave.

Correct me if I'm wrong,

but doesn't it seem to
you like they're trying

to destroy the Chrome Eagle?

Oh, "destroy" might
be too mild a word.

Try "annihilate."

Doesn't make any sense.

First they want to steal her,

then they want to destroy her.

Makes perfect sense.

Not to me, it doesn't.

They don't want the car.

They want something
that's in the car,

something hidden.

Oh, come on.

Hey. Gold, cash, diamonds.

Whatever it is, you can bet

that it is
spectacularly valuable

and it's all ours.

- Rick.
- And Sophie's.

[car door opens]

Aah.

Satisfied?

We've been searching for two
hours and we haven't found a thing.

What do you mean "searching"?
We haven't even started

searching this thing yet.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about 113
miles at 22 cents a mile,

- plus 50 bucks...
- Myron, you can talk
about that later.

Will somebody tell me
what all this is about?

Yeah.

Be glad to.

And that's why we think

there's something
valuable hidden in the car.

Well, what do you want of me?

Sophie, when you
lived in New Orleans,

what'd your husband do?

What are we playing here?

"This Is Your Life"?

Howard was a bookkeeper

for the company
called Oriental Traders.

They were very big importers.

They did a great
deal of importing.

Rare books, antique furniture.

Jade, emeralds, gold, diamonds.

[laughs] Um, while he was there,

was there ever
an unsolved theft?

Yes, yes there was.

A big robbery.

Uh... But it was
kept very secret.

Howard didn't even
tell me what was taken,

but I know somebody
was sent to jail for it.

All right, now, look. Don't
get me wrong about this,

but is there any way that
maybe Howard was, you know...

That Howard was involved?

- Uh-huh.
- To my knowledge, he was
never a suspect.

But that man was such a rascal.

It wouldn't surprise
me if he was involved.

- [laughs]
- Uh, wait a minute.

And you figure that
whatever was stolen,

he hid in the old car?

Yeah.

Maybe.

Well, that settles it.

We're gonna have
to tear it apart.

Tear this car apart?

Hey, look, if we're
gonna find what's in there,

we're gonna have to go
all the way with this thing,

with a cutting
torch if necessary.

A cutting torch on
a Chrome Eagle?

Are you out of your mind?

What's the problem?
It's just an old car!

Just...

Myron,

this is not just
some bucket of bolts

that falls off the
assembly line by the gross.

No way!

This is a

[Together] 1935 Cadillac
Chrome Eagle Phaeton.

This is a precision system

lovingly assembled by
old-world craftsmen...

In Detroit.

And if we take
it apart, no one...

No one...

Will ever be able to put
it back together again.

[sighs]

Billy Bob Bayshore.

- What?
- Billy Bob Bayshore, an old
Marine buddy of mine.

Had the motor pool in
Da Nang... You met him.

He's got a little chop
shop down in National City.

No matter what
we do to this baby,

Billy Bob will get her
back together again.

I don't believe a word of
that, and neither do you.

All right, then, fine. Let's
just leave it up to Sophie.

It's her car, after all.

Sophie, do you wanna
go for the gold, or no?

All right, now, Mrs. Chalfin.

Forgetting entirely
that the Chrome Eagle

is an artistic creation,

The car as she stands

is worth almost
100,000 dollars to you.

Now, do you want to risk
your entire life savings,

not to mention
destroying a work of art,

on some harebrained,
off-the wall treasure hunt

where you will
probably find nothing?

Cut that sucker!

There, uh...

Doesn't seem to be...

Anything here.

What have we done?

What am I going
to tell Mr. Paxley?

Listen, Sophie.

We'll look around.
Maybe we can find

another old car
we could sell him.

Rick, are you sure your friend

can put this car together again?

Positive.

Why don't you take
the engine apart?

- What?
- What!

Well, go ahead. It's
the only thing left.

Take the engine apart.

Besides, I've never
seen the insides of a V12.

Why didn't I see that?

Why didn't you see what?

It's in the engine!

Rick! There is nothing in
the engine but the engine!

- It's there, A.J.!
- There's too many
moving parts!

- I don't care
for moving parts!
- There's too much heat!

And then it would be destroyed!

A.J., you said it, I said it,

but it wasn't quite right.

This engine is not
missing on a cylinder.

It's missing a
cylinder! Completely!

There's a piston
gone! That's gotta be it!

[laughs]

You are missing a piston!

It's there!

[Rick] All right,
get out of the way.

Come on, get out of the way!

[A.J.] Gotta be able to
take this off, don't you?

[Rick] Okay. Here we go.

Hold that.

- Here.
- Aha!

Aha.

Oh boy.

Oh boy. Gotta be
diamonds, right?

Emeralds at the very least.
Well, maybe pearls, huh?

I hope it's not some
controlled substance.

Here. Here, here, here!

Gimme that.

Okay, all right. We got it now.

- Okay, okay.
- We got it now.

- Hold your hands out.
- Okay. Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

- Hold your hands out.
- Okay.

We don't got it.

What is that?

Gimme this.

It's some kind of a map.

No, you had it
right to begin with.

[A.J.] It's written in Chinese.

Sophie, you got
any idea what this is?

No.

[Rick] Where are we gonna
get that thing translated?

- U of L.
- U of what?

University of Lompoc.

There's no University of Lompoc.

Oh yes there is,
and what's more,

it's very close...

[A.J.] Oh... "Oh" what?

Our friends are back.

Is there a back
door to this place?

Yeah, right back there.

Yeah, uh... Do you have a car

we could rent, or something?

No, but I'll drive you
wherever you wanna go.

Terrific. Come on, let's go.

They've been in
there over four hours.

You gotta learn patience.

I ran out of patience in prison.

[Ellie] They found it.

I know they found it.

I told you we
shouldn't have waited.

Take it easy, Eleanor.

Incredible.

- What?
- Absolutely incredible.

Um, Ms. Chen, what is it?

It's a 17th-century
treasure map.

[laughs]

I'm almost positive this map

was drawn by Hop Sung Lee.

Hop Sung Lee?

Not many people know about him.

He was sort of a
Chinese Marco Polo.

He explored the Pacific
about 300 years ago.

According to this
map, in a natural cave

somewhere along
the California coastline,

he hid almost 100
pounds of pure gold.

Be still my heart.

100 pound... Well,
was it ever found?

Not to my knowledge.

100 pounds of gold.

- That's 14...
- No.

A.J., that's a million
dollars worth of gold.

Uh, can you tell from that map

exactly where it is?

Yes, I think I can.

She thinks she can.

There we are. Right there.

The cave is only about
45 miles from here.

45 miles.

Yeah, Rick, that is in an area

labeled "Mid-California
Water District.

- "No Trespassing."
- Well, that's no sweat.

We'll figure out a way in there.

This is the wackiest story
I ever heard in my life.

Ms. Chen, couldn't
the coordinates

have changed in 300 years?

This is Hop Sung
Lee we're dealing with,

and his coordinates wouldn't
change in 300 million years.

So there.

Have a good trip, now.

- Thank you.
- You guys are crazy.

- You know that, don't you?
- [laughs]

Hey, look. Looks like
our friends are gone.

Yeah, what makes me
think they'll be back?

Aah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I see.

Okay.

Okay, fine.

Thank you.

Well... Let's go.

Your buddy Billy Bob Bayshore

is rushing up, I presume?

Do you know any
good motels here?

Oh, yeah, sure.
Over to the... Hold it!

Now, Rick, I want you to tell me

why Billy Bob is not coming up.

Well, see... He, uh... Rick!

Don't pick at it.

Just yank the bandage off!

Okay, okay.

Um...

Billy Bob was busted

with a shop full of hot Porsches

and he's doing 15
to 20 in Quentin.

[sighs]

You wanted it brutal.

The one person who could
reassemble the Chrome Eagle

is completely out of reach.

Wait a minute. Got an idea.

See, what we do is we
just take all of this stuff,

we crate it up, and we ship it

right in there to Billy Bob.

They got this great
occupational therapy program

- at Quentin, see,
and he can start to...
- [horn honks]

- Cab's here.
- Cab's here.

Thank you very much.

This should cover
everything, I think. Um...

We'll be back for her.

[horn honks]

Now, I just want you to know

that I am violently opposed

to this whole
cock-eyed treasure hunt.

Could have fooled me.

[grunting]

Well, Mr. Burns,
I'd just hate to see

those pinko, commie
agitators, you know, telling

[Rick over phone] the
mid-California Water District

how to run its business.
You guys have been doing

a terrific job all these years.

Well, thank you, sir.

So let's just not
give 'em any more

ammo for their slander,
you know what I mean?

Let's just make sure
that there's no water

coming out of that
Tioga outfall for at least,

uh, the next two days.

We hadn't planned on it, sir.

But I'll make double
sure it doesn't happen.

All right, terrific, Mr. Burns.

That's wonderful. I'll be sure

to mention your name
on the late news, okay?

Bye-bye. [dial tone]

[engine starts]

[laughs]

Who was that on
the phone, Burns?

A TV reporter, sir.

He's going to be covering
some demonstration

by those pure water agitators.

Demonstration?

I don't know about
any demonstration.

It's supposed to
be this morning, sir.

At the Tioga outfall.

The Tioga outfall, huh?

Yes sir.

[chuckles]

How long have you been
working for us, Burns?

- Eight months, sir.
- That figures.

Get on the phone,
call the police.

Have 'em send an off-road
unit to the Tioga outfall.

The... The police?

Just do it, Burns. Please?

Yes, sir.

Hello, Ben?

Ben, this is Al
Colley over at Central.

All your valves working today?

[Rick laughs]

This is the spookiest-looking
place I've ever seen.

That's got to be the cave.

Right up there. Right
where those bushes are.

100 pounds.

Let's see, now that's
1,400 troy ounces of gold.

Don't get your hopes up.

Hey, it's gotta still be here.

Otherwise, why would
those people be after it?

Hey, hey, are you sure
they're not planning to pump

- any water through
here today?
- I'm sure, I'm sure.

Well, I mean, just
because they said they...

A.J., I'm in a terrific mood.

Just don't spoil it, okay?

There it is.

The cave entrance.

The gold's gotta be inside,

just like Hop Sung Lee said.

Rick, that was 300 years ago.

Just shut up and let
me enjoy this moment!

A.J., get in here.

[Rick] No, it's here.

I can feel it.

I can smell it. 100
pounds of gold.

You got any idea how
many grams that is?

- Aw!
- How'd I ever let you
talk me into this?

All right, pick a
spot. Any spot.

You get to choose where
we start digging first, okay?

Rick, can we just
please get this over with

so we can go home?

All right, right here.
We'll start digging here.

Hang on to that.

[grunting]

[rumbling]

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- What?
- What's that sound?

That's just the echo
from the digging.

No, no. It's something else.

Earthquake?

No, no. It's not an earthquake.

It's more like...
[water rushing]

A raging... torrent...
of... [both] Water!

Sure there was gold there.

It was discovered
about 50 years ago

by the Army Corps of Engineers

when they laid out
the water district.

The Army found a
million dollars in gold?

Nah. Was less than 30,000.

You know, in 1933, gold
was only worth about, what,

20 dollars an ounce.

- Oh.
- [chuckles]

It never fails. At
least once a year,

somebody gets a copy
of that old Chinese map

and catches gold fever.

And you get to drench 'em, huh?

[laughs] Yeah.

But nobody ever gets hurt.

[laughs]

Wanna bet?

Mr. Burns?

Yes, ma'am.

I'm the attorney for
Rick and A.J. Simon,

and you're holding some
evidence I need to study.

It's, uh, a map.
A rather old map.

- You mean this?
- Yes, thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am,
but I'm inventorying

this evidence for
the police, and, uh,

I can't release anything
without proper authorization.

Of course. I brought some
proper authorization with me.

Will this do?

Yeah. That's the guy
that tried to rip off our car.

And run us off the road.

We supposed to be suspects?

Nope, the garage
owner cleared you.

The only thing
you can be held for

is trespassing on
government property.

- Oh, come on.
- Colley!

Some woman just
held me up at gunpoint.

- She said she was their
attorney.
- What?

- Was she beautiful?
- Blonde?

Yeah. You know her?

Yeah, we know her.

She, uh... took that
old map of yours.

Oh, good. Joke's on
her when she gets there

and finds out there
ain't no gold, right, A.J.?

[laughs]

Right, A.J.?

Oh no.

I get real nervous
when he acts like this.

A.J., what's wrong?

[sighs]

It wasn't the car
they were after.

It wasn't the gold
they were after.

All along, all they ever wanted

- was the map. Are you kidding?
- They were after the map.

Authentic 17th-century
calligraphy.

Handwritten by Hop Sung Lee.

- The Chinese Marco Polo.
- Aah!

That thing must
be worth a fortune.

All the time, we had it
right there in our hands.

- And now it's gone.
- And we don't have a clue

- as to where it went.
- Wrong.

- We have a clue.
- What clue?

We have a name.
Can we get out of here?

I see.

Thank you. Yes.

Thank you very much.

Mr. Paxley is not
a classic car dealer.

No.

- Mr. Paxley is not even
a classic car collector.
- Uh-huh.

Would you believe
Mr. Paxley is a philographer?

Shame on him.

No, a philographer
happens to be a person

who sells rare handwritten
letters, parchments, scrolls,

- maps.
- Isn't that interesting?

Uh-huh.

And Mr. Paxley is
presently out of town,

but he is due back
early this evening.

Mm-hmm.

Ellie's got a good
head start on us.

She's probably
gonna get to him first.

Oh, not necessarily.

Hmm.

Hi, my name is A.J. Simon.

I'd like to charter a plane
to San Francisco, please.

Aw, what?

[breathing heavily]

[knocking]

Who is it?

Hop Sung Lee.

You were gonna cut me
out of the deal completely,

- weren't you?
- Of course not.

You'd have gotten your share.

I swear you would.

We agreed to
wait until I got out.

I took the fall for this
caper, remember?

Eleanor, please.

Try to understand.

When I heard that
Chalfin had died,

and his wife was
gonna sell the car,

I had to move fast.

I mean, you were
still in prison, and...

What else could I do?

Just give me the money
and let me get out of here.

The money!

You don't have to count it.

Sure I don't.

[knocking]

Who is it?

Pizza Land, we deliver.

I didn't order a pizza.

[gunshot]

Put it down!

- Hold it!
- Put it down!

Drop it!

Step away from it.

Eleanor.

How nice to see you again.

Mr. Paxley, I presume?

I should have killed you
both when I had the chance.

Does this mean our lunch is off?

Well, the map belongs
to this museum in Boston,

and, uh, there's a
50,000-dollar reward

for the return of it, so
you oughtta be getting

a check in a couple of weeks.

Well, 10 percent of it

belongs to you and
your brother, dear.

[Rick over phone] Aw,
not this time, Sophie.

We want you to keep all of it.

If I hadn't gotten cute
with the Chrome Eagle,

you'd have a lot more money.

Well, your friend Billy Bob

can put the car
together again, can't he?

That might take a little while.

Well, when he does, and
when I get another buyer,

you and your brother
will be in for 20 percent.

Well, thank you, darling.

Bye-bye.

[engine stops]

I'm not sure I can bear to
go look at all those pieces.

I'll tell you what, uh...

You go grab yourself a brew

and I'll load the truck.

No, no. I'll do it with you.

It's just...

I feel like we
desecrated a shrine.

Howdy!

Oh... [Rick] Howdy.

Went together
easier than I thought.

They sure don't make
'em like they used to.

[cheering]

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA