Shameless (2004–2013): Season 3, Episode 3 - Episode #3.3 - full transcript
Mandy goes into labour after a run in with a masked robber inside the corner shop. Lip desperately wants to visit his new daughter, but will Mandy's parents allow the visit? And if not, just what will it take for Lip to prove himself to them. Meanwhile, Kev has a sure bet on a horse which will rake him and Veronica in a wad of cash if it wins. Trouble is the entire estate, egged on by Frank, gets to hear about the sure bet lowering the odds for Kev and Veronica.
Now nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate
is the Garden of Eden,
but it's been a good home to us, to me,
Frank Gallagher, and me kids who
l'm proud of, cos every single one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
They can all think for themselves,
which they've got me to thank for.
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why
nobody calls him Phillip any more.
lan, a lot like his mam, which is handy for
the others cos she's disappeared into thin air.
And Carl. We daren't let him
grow his hair for two reasons -
it makes it stand on end and makes him
look like Toyah, and nits love him.
Debbie - sent by God, total angel.
You've to check your change
but she'll go miles out of her way
to do you a favour,
plus lickle Liam,
who's gonna be a star some day.
Sheila, me bird, couldn't be happier.
One plate short of a full set, like.
And fantastic neighbours Kev
and Veronica - lend ya anything,
well, almost anything.
Carol and Marty - the lodgers from hell.
Last of the lonely hearts
and a psychologist's wet dream.
Still, nobody's perfect.
But all of 'em to a man
know first and foremost
one of the most vital necessities in life
is they know how to throw a party!
Heh, heh, heh, scatter!
(Lip) 'Sometimes things you do lead
somewhere, other times
'they are just an end in themselves.
'Trouble is you never know.
'Me and lan, we're both young
free and single. No baggage, right?
'Free to move on, except sometimes
'the past comes back at you that
fast you can't get out the way.'
Boys will be boys
There's been girls
that have stolen our hearts
But their arms simply
couldn't be prized apart...
(Frank Gallagher) 'Ciggies, ciggies...
'See that loada' fucking ciggies.
'Ciggies.'
Could l trouble you for a ciggie?
You two birds look like
fish out of water.
You're not students, are you?
Yeah, we are actually.
Well, you know the only
thing l learnt at school?
Don't kick against the pricks.
O-level fucking conformity.
GCSE don't talk out of line.
l was 25 before l knew who l was.
Oh, am l bothering you?
l'm sorry. l think we're just in
the wrong pub.
Yeah, well, every pub's
the wrong fucking pub, innit?
Fucking Casablanca.
Tell you what.
lf l give you a fiver...
Yeah?
..will you fuck off
and leave us alone?
Yeah.
Dickhead.
Are we off home?
- Nah... night's young. Y'hungry?
- Yeah.
D'ya want curry or cock?
What do you mean?
C'mon. l'll show you.
l'm not sure about this, Mick.
Fuck it. l come down here all the time.
Yeah, but l don't
just wanna fuck someone.
You're not fucking.
Y'what?
One bloke in there.
One bloke in the end.
Bob's your uncle.
There's an hole!
Here y'are.
You're on.
Oh, you're meant to give
'em a little present after...
for services rendered.
Still got that bottle
of poppers on yer?
Yeah.
That'll do, go on.
Fuck's sake.
Hey, suck him off and
you get a present back.
Ta.
No, sorry love,
you've got the wrong Jockey.
This is in Gorton.
You're in Chatsworth.
So you don't have a
band playing here at all?
No.
You're not missing much. l saw them
in Salford. They're shite.
l know. My mate fancies the drummer.
l only came as her alibi.
Her folks are a bit strict.
They think she's at my house, revising.
Well, could be fate.
Do you want another drink?
Yeah. Why not?
Two glasses of white wine, please.
Come on then. Let's go into town.
Hang on, l'm just having a drink.
This is Lip.
- All right.
(Girl) He's bought you one.
Here you go.
You're welcome.
Right then, l'm off home.
Oh. You not staying tonight then?
No. l don't stay every night, Debbie.
We've been through this.
l don't live here.
Really?
Really.
So, l'll just get my things
and l'm off.
Good night.
Bit moody, isn't she? Your mate.
Yeah, well, she's spoiled.
Her Dad's loaded.
She doesn't like it when she's
not the centre of attention.
She's getting some attention now.
l tell you, the lads in this pub - predatory!
l best make a move.
That's a shame.
l was going to invite you
round for coffee.
What? l've only just met you and
you think l'd come round your house?
At this time of night?
l'll get my coat.
BANGlNG AND SQUEAKlNG
What was that?
What was what?
lt's Pimp My Ride - what you doing?
What's that noise?
Sue and Marty shagging?
Carl!
Can't we listen?
Gross.
Hiya. Debbie, Carl.
- This is...a friend of mine.
- Hello. Nice to meet you.
Do you want a coffee?
No. Not really.
Right.
Well, we're just gonna
pop upstairs for a bit.
Do you ever think of
anything apart from sex?
Yeah.
Girls.
GROANlNG
Come on, love. l'm closing up now.
Come on.
Ahh, for fuck's sake!
These are brand-new.
- How did you get like this?
- l don't know.
Come on. lt's all right, it's all right, come on.
lt was good of you to phone us.
lt's all right. l couldn't have
her getting in a cab in that state.
l can't understand what's happened.
How'd she get like this?
Somebody spike her drink?
Eh. Whoa. Nothing like that
goes on here, mate.
No, no, l'm sure. lt's just er...
l don't think she's ever
been in a pub before.
Oh, right.
She's probably just not
used to it then. Kids, eh?
Me and the wife
really appreciate this.
lf you fancy a bet, l've got a
little filly won't let you down.
Only, keep it to yourself.
l don't want people getting suspicious.
Why would they?
Because take it from me -
this horse has already won.
Yeah, right.
Hey. l'm a man of my word and l
don't give out these tips to anyone.
lf you don't believe me, check out
the first race at York tomorrow.
The favourite'll pull up lame.
l think the world of my daughter, mate.
You do yourself a favour.
Morning, Debs. Tea?
Yeah, please.
l was just, er...checking
the weather. Raining like fuck!
You know how tight
things are in this house?
lf someone's living here,
they should pay their whack.
Right, fine. l totally agree with ya.
Did Sue really go home last night?
Scream, you bitch!
Yes. Yes. No! Yes she did.
Oh. Oh.
There you go.
(Frank) What's up with you?
Post.
''Want to change your gas supplier?''
Deckchairs on the Titanic.
This one's from Auntie Pat.
Oh, it's Beryl and Aidan.
Who are they?
Haven't got a clue, but they send
every year, Christmas and...birthdays.
Shite.
Should have some cards here.
Come on, help us out here lads.
Oh. Have l seen something
l shouldn't have?
No, no... Nothing.
What have you got there?
No really. lt's nothing.
You can't fool me, Frank Gallagher.
Pretending you've forgotten
when you haven't.
Oh, well, never mind, you can
give it me tonight in the pub.
l'm so excited.
Fucking help you were, weren't ya?
Sherlock Holmes and Watson.
(Sue) Hiya.
Hiya, love. You all right?
Couple of scratch cards, please.
All right Mandy?
Not long to go, eh?
No. Only a couple of weeks.
l feel like l'm walking round
with a Christmas turkey
jammed up my muff.
Oi, son. No hoods in't shop, please.
l said take yer sodding hood off.
ls he bleeding deaf?
Oi! NO!
You little shit. Get off you
little wanker - that's my bag.
Ey! Ey!
Shit. Aw.
l don't believe that.
Five times in two months.
Are you all right Mandy, love?
l think my waters have broken.
Ooh, yeah.
Lip. They've robbed the shop.
Mandy Maguire's been
taken to hospital.
Shit.
She's been taken
off in an ambulance.
What you doing?
Really sorry.
No, where you going?
He's gone to see Mandy.
She's having his baby.
lf l give you a fiver, will you fuck off
and leave me alone?
Red car. ls that the name of the horse?
That's the race track, innit!
All right, all right.
Here we go. Rat Pack, 3. 10,
Redcar, Saturday.
Right. How much have we got in the jar?
Er, no you don't. We've got bills.
But this geezer claims it's a dead cert.
Oh, dead cert? According to some
knobhead you met at last orders.
He wasn't a knobhead.
He was wearing a suit.
Oh, all right then,
some knobhead in a suit.
Don't mean he can see
into the future.
Come on, Vee.
We could paper the walls
with dead certs from the boozer.
Everyone there
thinks they're John McCririck.
l know but there was something
about him that just seemed different,
that's all.
lf you wanna waste a tenner,
fine but that's it.
Fuck's sake...
Where's your sense of adventure?
You don't need a sense of
adventure living here.
ln fact, Kev, that's
the last fucking thing you need.
Oi!
No, you listen to me.
My daughter gets the best
treatment that money can buy.
Don't give me any of this NHS shite.
You've got to help me.
That girl over there
is pregnant with my baby.
That's her Dad.
lf he sees me, l'm dead.
Fine.
What the fuck are you doing here,
Gallagher?
Do you mind?
l'm here to see my cousin.
We're trying to have
a private family conversation.
Really?
Sorry, love. l got here as
quick as l could. Who are these?
This is Philip ''Shagger'' Gallagher.
Your wife's cousin.
Cousin?
Yeah, you don't recognise him?
You haven't got any cousins.
Wait a minute, you filthy little bitch.
- No.
- This is him, innit?
- Listen...
- Whoa, you little scumbag.
You little shite. You stay away
from my daughter and her baby.
Baby.
Baby.
BABY GURGLES
Baby.
l've had a baby.
No, no. lt's lovely, Frank, really.
l am sorry about your present, love.
God, l wanted fucking smack 'em.
Had to hold myself back, you know.
But these people,
they've got no scruples.
They just see human life
as a disposable item.
Oh, well.
At least you're safe.
That's the main thing.
l just thought, you know...
But who am l to say?
Don't fret, Sheila.
You'll have something.
Something special, you know.
l just to need to get it sorted.
What's for dinner?
l made you a shepherd's pie. l, erm...
l forgot to defrost it.
You'll have to sort it out yourself.
Meself?
l did what l could, you know.
l had a pop.
But these little...tossers.
Little kids, with big knives,
fucking Seven Samurai.
Make Poverty History, yeah?
Just let 'em all machete
each other to death.
Job done, thank you,
Gordon fucking Brown.
Frank, hang on a minute.
Jez, have you got another packet of crisps?
l'm starving here.
(Commentator) 'And news from the paddock.
lt's a worrying development...'
Frank, shut it.
'News coming in, and it's a turn up,
Rockin' Robin, the hot favourite,
'has pulled up lame in the paddock
just ten minutes before the off.'
Check out the first race
at York tomorrow.
The favourite will pull up lame.
Fuck me.
See that's the problem...
l'm fucking talking to you.
We'll sell the car.
The car? We only just got it.
lt's the most valuable thing we've got.
We don't just wanna put
a few quid on, do we?
lt's one extreme
to the other with you, innit?
The bet's for real.
The horse pulled up lame
just like he said.
lt was definitely the right horse?
First race at York, favourite.
And this Rat Pack, it's nine to one?
That's what it said in the paper.
Oh, Kev. Just think what
we can do with all that money.
Right, we'll get all the cash together
we can and we'll put it all on. Agreed?
Agreed.
Oh, Vee, remember main thing,
mum's the word, all right?
l promised that bloke
l wouldn't tell anyone.
And we don't want the odds
getting fucked up.
l haven't.
And we're off.
Nah, sorry mate, not interested.
Not much demand for these.
No demand? When you sold it us
a few weeks ago, you said
they were selling like hotcakes.
That was weeks ago.
The market's up and down, innit?
Waggy, come on.
l'll tell you what l'll do,
l'll give you 200 for it,
if you give me
the name of this horse.
You robbing bastard!
l'll give you a tenner.
A tenner? Are you taking the piss?
Well, 50...
if you tell us the name of this horse.
Fucking hell!
l told you. We have to keep quiet
about this, Vee.
l did! l haven't told anyone.
l did mention it to me mam.
Oh, was that before or after you
took a double page ad out in
the Evening News?
l didn't tell her the name of the horse.
Look, l'm sorry.
lt's just...why does our life
have to be so shit?
Hang on. lt wasn't shit two days ago
before you got this stupid tip.
SHE SlGHS
Look...
Here's 20 quid. Go and put that on.
Bollocks to the catalogue this week.
But, that'll only win us ?180.
Well, it's ?180 more than we've got now.
We've never had money before
and we've always been happy.
Maybe it's just not meant to be.
Me having money.
So what? You've got me.
Now, actually, Carol,
l wanted to ask you a favour.
The little bastards nicked the
present that l'd bought for Sheila.
Neither a borrower nor
a lender be, Frank. Shakespeare.
Well, he was all right, weren't he?
Had Anne Hathaway's fucking cottage.
Sheila's gone on cookery strike.
Winter of fucking discontent
in me own house. l mean, fucking,
what's it all about, eh?
l'm being punished and for what?
Missing her birthday. And what's that?
Another staging post, another
staging post, another staging post on
the long road to death, to death,
to death, to fucking oblivion.
Change the bloody record, Frank.
Hey listen,
is it true about Kev and this tip?
My lips are sealed but yes, it is.
Oh, eh up, here's Hinge
and fucking Bracket.
Right, listen up, we're investigating
a serious crime that's taken place.
Fuck off.
- Can we have your attention, please?
- Quiet!
(Policeman) Oi!
Quiet!
CROWD QUlETENS DOWN, MUSlC STOPS
That's better.
Now then, l've got some questions.
Excuse me. lf you don't mind.
No.
Right, first things first.
My daughter's been knocked down
and someone's gonna get
a big fucking kicking for it,
l'll tell you that for nothing.
That's not the fucking half of it.
Yeah, cos the stupid little prick
that stole my Mandy's bag
took something else too.
Piece of jewellery.
Belonging to my wife.
Which, let's put it this way,
has great sentimental value.
l want it back.
So, if anybody has any
information about this crime,
l expect them to come and talk to me.
Understood?
You won't find me ungrateful.
lf l could just add, if anybody
does know anything...
MUSlC RESTARTS
..then you can come and see us in
confidence.
All right, Patrick?
l see we have both become grandfathers.
Fuck off, you ugly bastard.
We don't want you anywhere near her.
Large vodka.
l hear you were in this shop?
Oh, no, l didn't see owt.
He just...fucking hood, you know.
Totally covered his face.
Yeah, well don't worry about it.
This is the CCTV video from the shop.
And if l find out from that,
that you know more than
you're letting on...
l'll wait till it comes out on DVD.
- What was it?
- A bracelet. A charm bracelet.
lt's not worth much, just a few quid, but my
Patrick bought it
for me the first time he come out of
prison, just after we were married.
Every time he did a spell inside,
he'd buy me another charm,
to celebrate his release.
Our Mandy was taking it the menders
and some little cocksucker's stolen it.
Well, trust me,
he'll curse the day he was born
when my boys get hold of him.
ls Mandy in?
Ow.
There?
Staying again tonight, Sue?
Don't start, Debbie.
Just saying.
lf she is, she has to put
something into the kitty.
What is it with you?
l'm not living here.
Take it easy with the fruit.
lt's for the kids.
Yeah, we'd all have scampi,
if it weren't for lan.
(Debbie) Scurvy!
You all right?
What's happened to you?
l think it's the Maguires way of saying,
''Here's a cigar for the new dad.''
Ah. So we're not gonna
get to see her, then?
Put it this way, l won't be holding
my breath for a christening invite.
Maguires'd probably drown you
in the font. lrish psychos.
Oh, well, there's only so many times
they can head butt you.
Yeah, before they kill me.
- What's that?
(lan) Got it today.
Let's have a look.
Hang on, where did you get that?
ln town. l found it, why?
This is mine. lt was in my bag.
lt can't be yours.
lt's mine, l'm telling you. lt was
in my bag that got fucking robbed.
Where did you get it?
l don't know.
Look, l told you, l found it.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
- Fuck off.
- Where did you get it?
lt's none of your business.
Was it you who nicked it?
Of course it wasn't me.
l just got it, all right?
- Who off?
- No-one.
Who off, lan?
l need to find out
who robbed the shop so l can
get back in with the Maguires.
Fucking hell. Look, right,
there's this place l've been to
a couple of times with a mate.
What place?
lt's a cottage, OK.
Cottage? What, like a little
fucking house in the country?
No, a gay cottage.
What? A lav?
lt's just blow jobs and that.
You don't even see 'em half the time.
How come, do it in the dark?
No. There's a hole
in the cubicle wall and you...
Jesus.
And people leave stuff.
You know, in return.
And that's how you got the walkman?
- Yeah. Some guy. l got lucky.
- Who is he?
- l dunno.
- You must know his name.
l don't know his name.
l didn't even see his face.
Fuck...
SlGHS
We're never gonna find him.
l'm never gonna get
to see my daughter.
l said l didn't see his face.
l didn't say l wouldn't recognise him.
Oh, Kev. You bastard.
You horrible bastard.
How much did it fetch, my ring?
Were you gonna go to the pawn shop
Monday, and buy it back?
Hey, Vee.
l'm sorry, l was desperate.
l wasn't thinking straight.
This is our big chance.
l just really wanted to...
l'd never pawn your wedding ring,
you know l wouldn't.
You thought about it though.
Oh, for five minutes.
l knew how devastated you'd be.
You knew l'd rip your knackers off,
more like.
Fuck's sake though.
20 quid stake.
What did Waggy offer you for t'car?
Oh, he wasn't interested.
He wasn't interested unless
l gave him the name of the horse.
Leave it with me.
But if you ever try
anything like that again,
l will rip your knackers off.
What the fuck?!
Right. l wanna know where this
came from. You left this in here.
lt was you in the shop wasn't it?
You did the shop over?
No, no. l didn't.
lan!
Aagh! What's he doing?
- Tell us the truth.
- l am. l am. lt's not mine.
l bought it from a bloke in a shop,
my shop. l fence goods.
Who was it? l want a name.
l'm sorry. l have a rule. No names.
My brother's on the other side
of that wall, and he has a rule
never to bite people's cocks off. lan!
The name! Now! lan!
All right! All right.
l'll tell you his name.
Good boy!
Hello. >
Hang on.
Dope, Coke or E's?
BABY CRlES
What the fucking hell
are you doing here?
Mum! Language! Baby!
You wanted a name. For the robbery?
Just half an hour with
Mandy, and the baby.
He's at that address
most days, apparently.
Right lads. Come on.
l've had a job to keep it to myself...
Kev, come on. Be a pal, eh.
Frank. Look, forget it.
Right. l've told you once.
Look no. Sorry. No. Forget it.
lt's not for me. lt's for Sheila.
Yeah, for her birthday.
l want to get her a pressie.
Kev. Barrel.
Jesus.
Zip it!
l'm thinking of naming
her after my Mum.
Oh, no please, for fuck's sake.
You can't call a little baby Mimi!
Not Mimi. That's her nickname.
Katherine's her real name.
l thought... Katie.
Katie?
That's all right, that is.
Little Katie.
Here, before l forget.
What's this for?
Child support.
And l can pay you that every month.
Forget it, Lip. l don't want it.
My family'll give us what we need.
l just wanna...
Look, l know what you're thinking.
You're looking at this
beautiful little thing,
and thinking you wanna get involved.
Just like every other lad on the estate.
But try finding any of them
after a couple of months.
You'd need sodding
lnterpol, never mind the CSA.
l'm not like that.
Take your money, Lip.
You need it more than we do.
What's that supposed to mean?
l hear you've been putting it about,
pulling posh girls.
Who's told you that?
Never you mind.
l'm not seeing her.
Just a one-night stand.
Yeah well, hope you used protection.
l'm taking her back in.
lt's getting a bit chilly.
See you around.
Right then, out ya come, bollocks.
Nice and easy guys.
ln you go.
Come on, come on, come on.
For the last time,
where's the fucking bracelet?
We'll untie your hands when you
tell us where the bracelet is.
Jesus Christ on a bike!
You're playing a very
dangerous game, sonny.
Right, Donny, l've had enough of
with this dozy cunt, wire him up.
Where's the bracelet?
Where's the fucking bracelet?
This'll loosen your tongue.
Last chance.
Aagh! You could have
some bugger's eye out with that!
lan, it's a dead cert.
You ain't getting no money off me.
Debbie? Have you got owt?
lt's for Sheila's present. l've got
my giro coming next Tuesday.
l'll look.
Debbie! Don't give it to him.
What's the matter with you?
You. What are you playing at? Eh?
Look at you.
Blagging money off your kids.
You should be buying her things.
Dolls and shit.
- lt's only till Tuesday.
- You should be loving her.
l do love her.
You should be protecting her.
- What does she need protecting from?
- This!
This house. This life.
This shit family.
Why don't you fuck off out?
Go on. Get out.
Where?
l don't know just out!
Play with your mates.
Stop acting like some
40-year-old woman.
Go and play knock and run, or
skipping, or whatever it is you do.
Lip. Leave it out.
No. She should be out playing.
lt's half ten.
lt's too late to be playing out.
Yeah. lt's too late for you.
She's 13-years-old and her life's over!
Well done, you twat.
Debbie!
(lan) Debbie!
l do love her.
l were, l were gonna get her a
present with the winnings.
l'm sorry, Deb.
Mandy won't let me help out
with the baby.
And l'm sorry.
l shouldn't have taken it out on you.
lt's all right. lt's a shame.
You'd make a great dad.
Oh, yeah. With all his prospects.
Shut it, you.
Well, she's not too far away.
You'll be able to see her.
l just wanted to do stuff for her.
Buy her stuff.
- Get her a pony.
- Why?
You know. To ride.
She's a Maguire, it'll be
pulling a rag and bone cart.
Don't be horrible.
Anyway she's not all theirs.
She's half Maguire
and half Gallagher.
What the fuck are you looking at?
Not sure which is worse.
Don't worry.
You'll get to see her.
You reckon?
Yeah, but not if you
sit here moping around.
You've gotta do something.
Come here.
Oh, fuck!
You'll have to climb out the window.
Get in the wardrobe, then.
Wait a minute.
Even when you say you're
going home, you sneak back in.
What is your problem?
We have to be honest in this house.
Look, if it's just about the money,
l will give you money...
So are you living here or not?
Yeah.
Yeah, all right. l'm living here.
That's ?20 a week.
Fine.
Carl!
Finish us off!
(Fucking hell.)
They're not in.
Look, she's my daughter.
l've got a right to see her.
They've all gone off.
Gone off where?
Look. That dickhead you grassed up
wouldn't tell us a fucking word.
So Pat and my boys are giving
him the car-park treatment.
What's that?
Hang him off the top of the
multi-storey till he speaks.
What, and they've taken the baby?
lt's never too early to initiate a
Maguire into the ways of the clan.
You got a bet on, Frank?
Nah, not as such, no.
What's the betting slip for then?
You what?
Oh, yeah, a bet? Oh, sorry...
Yeah, er, well, you know, l
dabble now and again, as you know.
You've got to, haven't you?
ls it this race?
Um... Redcar 3. 10, yeah.
Which horse?
- l forget the name.
- Which horse?
Rat Pack.
You thieving wanker.
l needed the cash,
Kev, for Sheila's present.
She's starving us out!
l had no choice!
- How much have you got on it?
- 60 quid.
60 quid...
where've you got 60 quid from?
l sold the car for 300 quid.
You should see the queue at the
bookie's. Odds have gone right down.
What to?
Evens.
Evens? How the fu...
(Man) Come on, Rat Pack.
- Where've you got 60 quid from?
- Nowhere.
- Frank!
lt was nine to one, it's now evens.
What the bloody hell's happened?
l passed the tip on to
one or two folk...
y'know, for a small consideration.
Who'd you tell?
Billy Joyner...
and Eddie Norton.
Micky Hills.
Micky Hills? Micky Hills' brother
is a sodding bookie!
He's not gonna say owt!
He promised me!
Come on, Rat Pack!
Bloody hell, Frank.
No wonder it's evens!
Half of bleeding
Manchester's put a bet on now!
(Commentator) 'Rat Pack charging down
the nearside... Rat Pack is
'beginning to get up...
lt's Rat Pack from Hester Bridge!
'Rat Pack wins by about a length.'
CHEERlNG
Nice one, mate!
lt won, then.
Oh, it's great that, innit,
for you and everyone else in here.
We'd have won three grand if
you hadn't fucked the odds.
l just spent 20 minutes with Waggy
staring at my tits for fuck all!
Nice one, Frank.
Right, last time.
Where is the bracelet?
Hmm? Come on!
Stop!
Wait!
What the hell you got there, Gallagher?
lt's for my daughter.
Very sweet, l'm sure.
Seeing as you're here,
you can give us a hand
dropping this goon off the edge.
What?
Jesus, he's at it again.
Thinks it's funny playing
Give Us A Fucking Clue.
Well, here's one.
lt's a film. Six words.
The Man Who Fell To Earth.
lt's sign language.
l beg your pardon?
He's fucking deaf, isn't he?
Any idiot can tell you that.
That explains not screaming with
12,000 volts running
through your bollocks.
Still deserves a pasting.
Jesus, Maguire! My daughter's
being brought up in your house,
and you're too thick to realise
you're torturing a fucking mute.
Watch what you're fucking saying.
Where's the bracelet?
Where is it?
Look, see..
- Well, what's he saying?
- l dunno.
Who's got a pen?
Hang on, spray can.
(Patrick) Good idea. Get it out.
This better be fucking good.
Fuck!
No-one talks to my family like that.
Not even a fucking mute.
He's still alive!
What's he saying?
l don't know. He's probably
thanking his lucky stars.
Right, come on lads, time for a pint.
Pint of dog, Kev, and a whisky
chaser, and one for yourself.
- Veronica? Drink?
- What are you gonna to do with that?
What am l gonna do?
l'm gonna have a big fucking party!
Oh, that's a bit tight, innit?
Whatever happened to
share and share alike?
That's what l'm doin', innit?
Yeah, but l mean, what about your kids?
You're going to give your kids
some money.
Well...
Well, you know, Debbie can always do
with a bit of help with housekeeping.
lan can't earn much
glass collecting in here, can he?
And Carl and Lip are
always needing new clothes.
Jesus wept.
Thank fuck l didn't have any more.
Liam.
Then there's the twins - that'll be two.
- Oh, and that...
- What's that for?
That's for me.
Hot tips cost money, Francis.
Fucking hell.
There's 40 quid there.
You'll be able to get Sheila
something really nice
with that, won't ya?
l'm sorry, love.
l'm afraid the little
deaf cunt got away.
So l only hope this will go
some way to making up for your loss.
Patrick!
Oh, l'm fucking made up!
Nice, isn't it?
GlGGLlNG
(Patrick) Oh, my God!
Frank! Come on home.
Just a minu...
What's that?
lt's...a little gift.
ls it for me?
For you.
Happy birthday.
Oh, Frank. You're such a lovely man.
Thank you. Come on.
Let's get you home. l'm gonna
cook you a nice Nigella or a Delia.
Won't be needing that, then.
You can clear your tab.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, Frank, thank you.
l love you so much.
You must have dropped it in
the teddy's pocket.
Listen. l thought you were
really great yesterday,
what you said to my Dad.
You know, no-one ever stands up to him.
So, if you want to come round,
see Katie, well, that's OK.
Cheers, Mandy.
Thanks.
Can l pick her up?
l've not picked her up yet.
Go on. Don't fucking drop her.
Language! Baby.
(Lip) 'Boy meets girl.
Girl's dad kidnaps deaf mute.
'Boy gets to hold baby.
lt's the age-old story.
'Thing is, when you look at
your own child,
'you think there's no other bloke in
the entire fucking universe cares
'as much about this creature as l do,
and that's gotta mean sommat.'
l'd like to report
someone for benefit fraud.
Apparently they're looking into
everybody round here who's claiming.
- Well, l'm fucked then.
(Woman) You and half the fucking estate.
Parasites.
l told Emily you'd be her brother.
They've got a visit round theirs.
- Are they paying?
- Fuck off! She's me girlfriend.
l've texted Lip three times.
Where the fuck is he?
Ta-da! Brendan Tyler lives.
Doesn't feel right to me though,
cracking on your married.
- You bastard!
- What's this? An ambush?
l saw you with Mandy Maguire.
l can't believe you'd land me
in the shit!
lt's got nowt to do with you!
Cos l'm nothing, l suppose.
Just your bit on the side.
Argh!
He's never asked me, you know, Tony.
That should be me there.
That should be me!
Ah! Sheila!
700? l only won five.
Sorry, mate.
l'm trying to run a business here.
But the last time you sold
it us, Waggy, it was 600.
Nothing l can do about it!
lnflation.
is the Garden of Eden,
but it's been a good home to us, to me,
Frank Gallagher, and me kids who
l'm proud of, cos every single one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
They can all think for themselves,
which they've got me to thank for.
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why
nobody calls him Phillip any more.
lan, a lot like his mam, which is handy for
the others cos she's disappeared into thin air.
And Carl. We daren't let him
grow his hair for two reasons -
it makes it stand on end and makes him
look like Toyah, and nits love him.
Debbie - sent by God, total angel.
You've to check your change
but she'll go miles out of her way
to do you a favour,
plus lickle Liam,
who's gonna be a star some day.
Sheila, me bird, couldn't be happier.
One plate short of a full set, like.
And fantastic neighbours Kev
and Veronica - lend ya anything,
well, almost anything.
Carol and Marty - the lodgers from hell.
Last of the lonely hearts
and a psychologist's wet dream.
Still, nobody's perfect.
But all of 'em to a man
know first and foremost
one of the most vital necessities in life
is they know how to throw a party!
Heh, heh, heh, scatter!
(Lip) 'Sometimes things you do lead
somewhere, other times
'they are just an end in themselves.
'Trouble is you never know.
'Me and lan, we're both young
free and single. No baggage, right?
'Free to move on, except sometimes
'the past comes back at you that
fast you can't get out the way.'
Boys will be boys
There's been girls
that have stolen our hearts
But their arms simply
couldn't be prized apart...
(Frank Gallagher) 'Ciggies, ciggies...
'See that loada' fucking ciggies.
'Ciggies.'
Could l trouble you for a ciggie?
You two birds look like
fish out of water.
You're not students, are you?
Yeah, we are actually.
Well, you know the only
thing l learnt at school?
Don't kick against the pricks.
O-level fucking conformity.
GCSE don't talk out of line.
l was 25 before l knew who l was.
Oh, am l bothering you?
l'm sorry. l think we're just in
the wrong pub.
Yeah, well, every pub's
the wrong fucking pub, innit?
Fucking Casablanca.
Tell you what.
lf l give you a fiver...
Yeah?
..will you fuck off
and leave us alone?
Yeah.
Dickhead.
Are we off home?
- Nah... night's young. Y'hungry?
- Yeah.
D'ya want curry or cock?
What do you mean?
C'mon. l'll show you.
l'm not sure about this, Mick.
Fuck it. l come down here all the time.
Yeah, but l don't
just wanna fuck someone.
You're not fucking.
Y'what?
One bloke in there.
One bloke in the end.
Bob's your uncle.
There's an hole!
Here y'are.
You're on.
Oh, you're meant to give
'em a little present after...
for services rendered.
Still got that bottle
of poppers on yer?
Yeah.
That'll do, go on.
Fuck's sake.
Hey, suck him off and
you get a present back.
Ta.
No, sorry love,
you've got the wrong Jockey.
This is in Gorton.
You're in Chatsworth.
So you don't have a
band playing here at all?
No.
You're not missing much. l saw them
in Salford. They're shite.
l know. My mate fancies the drummer.
l only came as her alibi.
Her folks are a bit strict.
They think she's at my house, revising.
Well, could be fate.
Do you want another drink?
Yeah. Why not?
Two glasses of white wine, please.
Come on then. Let's go into town.
Hang on, l'm just having a drink.
This is Lip.
- All right.
(Girl) He's bought you one.
Here you go.
You're welcome.
Right then, l'm off home.
Oh. You not staying tonight then?
No. l don't stay every night, Debbie.
We've been through this.
l don't live here.
Really?
Really.
So, l'll just get my things
and l'm off.
Good night.
Bit moody, isn't she? Your mate.
Yeah, well, she's spoiled.
Her Dad's loaded.
She doesn't like it when she's
not the centre of attention.
She's getting some attention now.
l tell you, the lads in this pub - predatory!
l best make a move.
That's a shame.
l was going to invite you
round for coffee.
What? l've only just met you and
you think l'd come round your house?
At this time of night?
l'll get my coat.
BANGlNG AND SQUEAKlNG
What was that?
What was what?
lt's Pimp My Ride - what you doing?
What's that noise?
Sue and Marty shagging?
Carl!
Can't we listen?
Gross.
Hiya. Debbie, Carl.
- This is...a friend of mine.
- Hello. Nice to meet you.
Do you want a coffee?
No. Not really.
Right.
Well, we're just gonna
pop upstairs for a bit.
Do you ever think of
anything apart from sex?
Yeah.
Girls.
GROANlNG
Come on, love. l'm closing up now.
Come on.
Ahh, for fuck's sake!
These are brand-new.
- How did you get like this?
- l don't know.
Come on. lt's all right, it's all right, come on.
lt was good of you to phone us.
lt's all right. l couldn't have
her getting in a cab in that state.
l can't understand what's happened.
How'd she get like this?
Somebody spike her drink?
Eh. Whoa. Nothing like that
goes on here, mate.
No, no, l'm sure. lt's just er...
l don't think she's ever
been in a pub before.
Oh, right.
She's probably just not
used to it then. Kids, eh?
Me and the wife
really appreciate this.
lf you fancy a bet, l've got a
little filly won't let you down.
Only, keep it to yourself.
l don't want people getting suspicious.
Why would they?
Because take it from me -
this horse has already won.
Yeah, right.
Hey. l'm a man of my word and l
don't give out these tips to anyone.
lf you don't believe me, check out
the first race at York tomorrow.
The favourite'll pull up lame.
l think the world of my daughter, mate.
You do yourself a favour.
Morning, Debs. Tea?
Yeah, please.
l was just, er...checking
the weather. Raining like fuck!
You know how tight
things are in this house?
lf someone's living here,
they should pay their whack.
Right, fine. l totally agree with ya.
Did Sue really go home last night?
Scream, you bitch!
Yes. Yes. No! Yes she did.
Oh. Oh.
There you go.
(Frank) What's up with you?
Post.
''Want to change your gas supplier?''
Deckchairs on the Titanic.
This one's from Auntie Pat.
Oh, it's Beryl and Aidan.
Who are they?
Haven't got a clue, but they send
every year, Christmas and...birthdays.
Shite.
Should have some cards here.
Come on, help us out here lads.
Oh. Have l seen something
l shouldn't have?
No, no... Nothing.
What have you got there?
No really. lt's nothing.
You can't fool me, Frank Gallagher.
Pretending you've forgotten
when you haven't.
Oh, well, never mind, you can
give it me tonight in the pub.
l'm so excited.
Fucking help you were, weren't ya?
Sherlock Holmes and Watson.
(Sue) Hiya.
Hiya, love. You all right?
Couple of scratch cards, please.
All right Mandy?
Not long to go, eh?
No. Only a couple of weeks.
l feel like l'm walking round
with a Christmas turkey
jammed up my muff.
Oi, son. No hoods in't shop, please.
l said take yer sodding hood off.
ls he bleeding deaf?
Oi! NO!
You little shit. Get off you
little wanker - that's my bag.
Ey! Ey!
Shit. Aw.
l don't believe that.
Five times in two months.
Are you all right Mandy, love?
l think my waters have broken.
Ooh, yeah.
Lip. They've robbed the shop.
Mandy Maguire's been
taken to hospital.
Shit.
She's been taken
off in an ambulance.
What you doing?
Really sorry.
No, where you going?
He's gone to see Mandy.
She's having his baby.
lf l give you a fiver, will you fuck off
and leave me alone?
Red car. ls that the name of the horse?
That's the race track, innit!
All right, all right.
Here we go. Rat Pack, 3. 10,
Redcar, Saturday.
Right. How much have we got in the jar?
Er, no you don't. We've got bills.
But this geezer claims it's a dead cert.
Oh, dead cert? According to some
knobhead you met at last orders.
He wasn't a knobhead.
He was wearing a suit.
Oh, all right then,
some knobhead in a suit.
Don't mean he can see
into the future.
Come on, Vee.
We could paper the walls
with dead certs from the boozer.
Everyone there
thinks they're John McCririck.
l know but there was something
about him that just seemed different,
that's all.
lf you wanna waste a tenner,
fine but that's it.
Fuck's sake...
Where's your sense of adventure?
You don't need a sense of
adventure living here.
ln fact, Kev, that's
the last fucking thing you need.
Oi!
No, you listen to me.
My daughter gets the best
treatment that money can buy.
Don't give me any of this NHS shite.
You've got to help me.
That girl over there
is pregnant with my baby.
That's her Dad.
lf he sees me, l'm dead.
Fine.
What the fuck are you doing here,
Gallagher?
Do you mind?
l'm here to see my cousin.
We're trying to have
a private family conversation.
Really?
Sorry, love. l got here as
quick as l could. Who are these?
This is Philip ''Shagger'' Gallagher.
Your wife's cousin.
Cousin?
Yeah, you don't recognise him?
You haven't got any cousins.
Wait a minute, you filthy little bitch.
- No.
- This is him, innit?
- Listen...
- Whoa, you little scumbag.
You little shite. You stay away
from my daughter and her baby.
Baby.
Baby.
BABY GURGLES
Baby.
l've had a baby.
No, no. lt's lovely, Frank, really.
l am sorry about your present, love.
God, l wanted fucking smack 'em.
Had to hold myself back, you know.
But these people,
they've got no scruples.
They just see human life
as a disposable item.
Oh, well.
At least you're safe.
That's the main thing.
l just thought, you know...
But who am l to say?
Don't fret, Sheila.
You'll have something.
Something special, you know.
l just to need to get it sorted.
What's for dinner?
l made you a shepherd's pie. l, erm...
l forgot to defrost it.
You'll have to sort it out yourself.
Meself?
l did what l could, you know.
l had a pop.
But these little...tossers.
Little kids, with big knives,
fucking Seven Samurai.
Make Poverty History, yeah?
Just let 'em all machete
each other to death.
Job done, thank you,
Gordon fucking Brown.
Frank, hang on a minute.
Jez, have you got another packet of crisps?
l'm starving here.
(Commentator) 'And news from the paddock.
lt's a worrying development...'
Frank, shut it.
'News coming in, and it's a turn up,
Rockin' Robin, the hot favourite,
'has pulled up lame in the paddock
just ten minutes before the off.'
Check out the first race
at York tomorrow.
The favourite will pull up lame.
Fuck me.
See that's the problem...
l'm fucking talking to you.
We'll sell the car.
The car? We only just got it.
lt's the most valuable thing we've got.
We don't just wanna put
a few quid on, do we?
lt's one extreme
to the other with you, innit?
The bet's for real.
The horse pulled up lame
just like he said.
lt was definitely the right horse?
First race at York, favourite.
And this Rat Pack, it's nine to one?
That's what it said in the paper.
Oh, Kev. Just think what
we can do with all that money.
Right, we'll get all the cash together
we can and we'll put it all on. Agreed?
Agreed.
Oh, Vee, remember main thing,
mum's the word, all right?
l promised that bloke
l wouldn't tell anyone.
And we don't want the odds
getting fucked up.
l haven't.
And we're off.
Nah, sorry mate, not interested.
Not much demand for these.
No demand? When you sold it us
a few weeks ago, you said
they were selling like hotcakes.
That was weeks ago.
The market's up and down, innit?
Waggy, come on.
l'll tell you what l'll do,
l'll give you 200 for it,
if you give me
the name of this horse.
You robbing bastard!
l'll give you a tenner.
A tenner? Are you taking the piss?
Well, 50...
if you tell us the name of this horse.
Fucking hell!
l told you. We have to keep quiet
about this, Vee.
l did! l haven't told anyone.
l did mention it to me mam.
Oh, was that before or after you
took a double page ad out in
the Evening News?
l didn't tell her the name of the horse.
Look, l'm sorry.
lt's just...why does our life
have to be so shit?
Hang on. lt wasn't shit two days ago
before you got this stupid tip.
SHE SlGHS
Look...
Here's 20 quid. Go and put that on.
Bollocks to the catalogue this week.
But, that'll only win us ?180.
Well, it's ?180 more than we've got now.
We've never had money before
and we've always been happy.
Maybe it's just not meant to be.
Me having money.
So what? You've got me.
Now, actually, Carol,
l wanted to ask you a favour.
The little bastards nicked the
present that l'd bought for Sheila.
Neither a borrower nor
a lender be, Frank. Shakespeare.
Well, he was all right, weren't he?
Had Anne Hathaway's fucking cottage.
Sheila's gone on cookery strike.
Winter of fucking discontent
in me own house. l mean, fucking,
what's it all about, eh?
l'm being punished and for what?
Missing her birthday. And what's that?
Another staging post, another
staging post, another staging post on
the long road to death, to death,
to death, to fucking oblivion.
Change the bloody record, Frank.
Hey listen,
is it true about Kev and this tip?
My lips are sealed but yes, it is.
Oh, eh up, here's Hinge
and fucking Bracket.
Right, listen up, we're investigating
a serious crime that's taken place.
Fuck off.
- Can we have your attention, please?
- Quiet!
(Policeman) Oi!
Quiet!
CROWD QUlETENS DOWN, MUSlC STOPS
That's better.
Now then, l've got some questions.
Excuse me. lf you don't mind.
No.
Right, first things first.
My daughter's been knocked down
and someone's gonna get
a big fucking kicking for it,
l'll tell you that for nothing.
That's not the fucking half of it.
Yeah, cos the stupid little prick
that stole my Mandy's bag
took something else too.
Piece of jewellery.
Belonging to my wife.
Which, let's put it this way,
has great sentimental value.
l want it back.
So, if anybody has any
information about this crime,
l expect them to come and talk to me.
Understood?
You won't find me ungrateful.
lf l could just add, if anybody
does know anything...
MUSlC RESTARTS
..then you can come and see us in
confidence.
All right, Patrick?
l see we have both become grandfathers.
Fuck off, you ugly bastard.
We don't want you anywhere near her.
Large vodka.
l hear you were in this shop?
Oh, no, l didn't see owt.
He just...fucking hood, you know.
Totally covered his face.
Yeah, well don't worry about it.
This is the CCTV video from the shop.
And if l find out from that,
that you know more than
you're letting on...
l'll wait till it comes out on DVD.
- What was it?
- A bracelet. A charm bracelet.
lt's not worth much, just a few quid, but my
Patrick bought it
for me the first time he come out of
prison, just after we were married.
Every time he did a spell inside,
he'd buy me another charm,
to celebrate his release.
Our Mandy was taking it the menders
and some little cocksucker's stolen it.
Well, trust me,
he'll curse the day he was born
when my boys get hold of him.
ls Mandy in?
Ow.
There?
Staying again tonight, Sue?
Don't start, Debbie.
Just saying.
lf she is, she has to put
something into the kitty.
What is it with you?
l'm not living here.
Take it easy with the fruit.
lt's for the kids.
Yeah, we'd all have scampi,
if it weren't for lan.
(Debbie) Scurvy!
You all right?
What's happened to you?
l think it's the Maguires way of saying,
''Here's a cigar for the new dad.''
Ah. So we're not gonna
get to see her, then?
Put it this way, l won't be holding
my breath for a christening invite.
Maguires'd probably drown you
in the font. lrish psychos.
Oh, well, there's only so many times
they can head butt you.
Yeah, before they kill me.
- What's that?
(lan) Got it today.
Let's have a look.
Hang on, where did you get that?
ln town. l found it, why?
This is mine. lt was in my bag.
lt can't be yours.
lt's mine, l'm telling you. lt was
in my bag that got fucking robbed.
Where did you get it?
l don't know.
Look, l told you, l found it.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
- Fuck off.
- Where did you get it?
lt's none of your business.
Was it you who nicked it?
Of course it wasn't me.
l just got it, all right?
- Who off?
- No-one.
Who off, lan?
l need to find out
who robbed the shop so l can
get back in with the Maguires.
Fucking hell. Look, right,
there's this place l've been to
a couple of times with a mate.
What place?
lt's a cottage, OK.
Cottage? What, like a little
fucking house in the country?
No, a gay cottage.
What? A lav?
lt's just blow jobs and that.
You don't even see 'em half the time.
How come, do it in the dark?
No. There's a hole
in the cubicle wall and you...
Jesus.
And people leave stuff.
You know, in return.
And that's how you got the walkman?
- Yeah. Some guy. l got lucky.
- Who is he?
- l dunno.
- You must know his name.
l don't know his name.
l didn't even see his face.
Fuck...
SlGHS
We're never gonna find him.
l'm never gonna get
to see my daughter.
l said l didn't see his face.
l didn't say l wouldn't recognise him.
Oh, Kev. You bastard.
You horrible bastard.
How much did it fetch, my ring?
Were you gonna go to the pawn shop
Monday, and buy it back?
Hey, Vee.
l'm sorry, l was desperate.
l wasn't thinking straight.
This is our big chance.
l just really wanted to...
l'd never pawn your wedding ring,
you know l wouldn't.
You thought about it though.
Oh, for five minutes.
l knew how devastated you'd be.
You knew l'd rip your knackers off,
more like.
Fuck's sake though.
20 quid stake.
What did Waggy offer you for t'car?
Oh, he wasn't interested.
He wasn't interested unless
l gave him the name of the horse.
Leave it with me.
But if you ever try
anything like that again,
l will rip your knackers off.
What the fuck?!
Right. l wanna know where this
came from. You left this in here.
lt was you in the shop wasn't it?
You did the shop over?
No, no. l didn't.
lan!
Aagh! What's he doing?
- Tell us the truth.
- l am. l am. lt's not mine.
l bought it from a bloke in a shop,
my shop. l fence goods.
Who was it? l want a name.
l'm sorry. l have a rule. No names.
My brother's on the other side
of that wall, and he has a rule
never to bite people's cocks off. lan!
The name! Now! lan!
All right! All right.
l'll tell you his name.
Good boy!
Hello. >
Hang on.
Dope, Coke or E's?
BABY CRlES
What the fucking hell
are you doing here?
Mum! Language! Baby!
You wanted a name. For the robbery?
Just half an hour with
Mandy, and the baby.
He's at that address
most days, apparently.
Right lads. Come on.
l've had a job to keep it to myself...
Kev, come on. Be a pal, eh.
Frank. Look, forget it.
Right. l've told you once.
Look no. Sorry. No. Forget it.
lt's not for me. lt's for Sheila.
Yeah, for her birthday.
l want to get her a pressie.
Kev. Barrel.
Jesus.
Zip it!
l'm thinking of naming
her after my Mum.
Oh, no please, for fuck's sake.
You can't call a little baby Mimi!
Not Mimi. That's her nickname.
Katherine's her real name.
l thought... Katie.
Katie?
That's all right, that is.
Little Katie.
Here, before l forget.
What's this for?
Child support.
And l can pay you that every month.
Forget it, Lip. l don't want it.
My family'll give us what we need.
l just wanna...
Look, l know what you're thinking.
You're looking at this
beautiful little thing,
and thinking you wanna get involved.
Just like every other lad on the estate.
But try finding any of them
after a couple of months.
You'd need sodding
lnterpol, never mind the CSA.
l'm not like that.
Take your money, Lip.
You need it more than we do.
What's that supposed to mean?
l hear you've been putting it about,
pulling posh girls.
Who's told you that?
Never you mind.
l'm not seeing her.
Just a one-night stand.
Yeah well, hope you used protection.
l'm taking her back in.
lt's getting a bit chilly.
See you around.
Right then, out ya come, bollocks.
Nice and easy guys.
ln you go.
Come on, come on, come on.
For the last time,
where's the fucking bracelet?
We'll untie your hands when you
tell us where the bracelet is.
Jesus Christ on a bike!
You're playing a very
dangerous game, sonny.
Right, Donny, l've had enough of
with this dozy cunt, wire him up.
Where's the bracelet?
Where's the fucking bracelet?
This'll loosen your tongue.
Last chance.
Aagh! You could have
some bugger's eye out with that!
lan, it's a dead cert.
You ain't getting no money off me.
Debbie? Have you got owt?
lt's for Sheila's present. l've got
my giro coming next Tuesday.
l'll look.
Debbie! Don't give it to him.
What's the matter with you?
You. What are you playing at? Eh?
Look at you.
Blagging money off your kids.
You should be buying her things.
Dolls and shit.
- lt's only till Tuesday.
- You should be loving her.
l do love her.
You should be protecting her.
- What does she need protecting from?
- This!
This house. This life.
This shit family.
Why don't you fuck off out?
Go on. Get out.
Where?
l don't know just out!
Play with your mates.
Stop acting like some
40-year-old woman.
Go and play knock and run, or
skipping, or whatever it is you do.
Lip. Leave it out.
No. She should be out playing.
lt's half ten.
lt's too late to be playing out.
Yeah. lt's too late for you.
She's 13-years-old and her life's over!
Well done, you twat.
Debbie!
(lan) Debbie!
l do love her.
l were, l were gonna get her a
present with the winnings.
l'm sorry, Deb.
Mandy won't let me help out
with the baby.
And l'm sorry.
l shouldn't have taken it out on you.
lt's all right. lt's a shame.
You'd make a great dad.
Oh, yeah. With all his prospects.
Shut it, you.
Well, she's not too far away.
You'll be able to see her.
l just wanted to do stuff for her.
Buy her stuff.
- Get her a pony.
- Why?
You know. To ride.
She's a Maguire, it'll be
pulling a rag and bone cart.
Don't be horrible.
Anyway she's not all theirs.
She's half Maguire
and half Gallagher.
What the fuck are you looking at?
Not sure which is worse.
Don't worry.
You'll get to see her.
You reckon?
Yeah, but not if you
sit here moping around.
You've gotta do something.
Come here.
Oh, fuck!
You'll have to climb out the window.
Get in the wardrobe, then.
Wait a minute.
Even when you say you're
going home, you sneak back in.
What is your problem?
We have to be honest in this house.
Look, if it's just about the money,
l will give you money...
So are you living here or not?
Yeah.
Yeah, all right. l'm living here.
That's ?20 a week.
Fine.
Carl!
Finish us off!
(Fucking hell.)
They're not in.
Look, she's my daughter.
l've got a right to see her.
They've all gone off.
Gone off where?
Look. That dickhead you grassed up
wouldn't tell us a fucking word.
So Pat and my boys are giving
him the car-park treatment.
What's that?
Hang him off the top of the
multi-storey till he speaks.
What, and they've taken the baby?
lt's never too early to initiate a
Maguire into the ways of the clan.
You got a bet on, Frank?
Nah, not as such, no.
What's the betting slip for then?
You what?
Oh, yeah, a bet? Oh, sorry...
Yeah, er, well, you know, l
dabble now and again, as you know.
You've got to, haven't you?
ls it this race?
Um... Redcar 3. 10, yeah.
Which horse?
- l forget the name.
- Which horse?
Rat Pack.
You thieving wanker.
l needed the cash,
Kev, for Sheila's present.
She's starving us out!
l had no choice!
- How much have you got on it?
- 60 quid.
60 quid...
where've you got 60 quid from?
l sold the car for 300 quid.
You should see the queue at the
bookie's. Odds have gone right down.
What to?
Evens.
Evens? How the fu...
(Man) Come on, Rat Pack.
- Where've you got 60 quid from?
- Nowhere.
- Frank!
lt was nine to one, it's now evens.
What the bloody hell's happened?
l passed the tip on to
one or two folk...
y'know, for a small consideration.
Who'd you tell?
Billy Joyner...
and Eddie Norton.
Micky Hills.
Micky Hills? Micky Hills' brother
is a sodding bookie!
He's not gonna say owt!
He promised me!
Come on, Rat Pack!
Bloody hell, Frank.
No wonder it's evens!
Half of bleeding
Manchester's put a bet on now!
(Commentator) 'Rat Pack charging down
the nearside... Rat Pack is
'beginning to get up...
lt's Rat Pack from Hester Bridge!
'Rat Pack wins by about a length.'
CHEERlNG
Nice one, mate!
lt won, then.
Oh, it's great that, innit,
for you and everyone else in here.
We'd have won three grand if
you hadn't fucked the odds.
l just spent 20 minutes with Waggy
staring at my tits for fuck all!
Nice one, Frank.
Right, last time.
Where is the bracelet?
Hmm? Come on!
Stop!
Wait!
What the hell you got there, Gallagher?
lt's for my daughter.
Very sweet, l'm sure.
Seeing as you're here,
you can give us a hand
dropping this goon off the edge.
What?
Jesus, he's at it again.
Thinks it's funny playing
Give Us A Fucking Clue.
Well, here's one.
lt's a film. Six words.
The Man Who Fell To Earth.
lt's sign language.
l beg your pardon?
He's fucking deaf, isn't he?
Any idiot can tell you that.
That explains not screaming with
12,000 volts running
through your bollocks.
Still deserves a pasting.
Jesus, Maguire! My daughter's
being brought up in your house,
and you're too thick to realise
you're torturing a fucking mute.
Watch what you're fucking saying.
Where's the bracelet?
Where is it?
Look, see..
- Well, what's he saying?
- l dunno.
Who's got a pen?
Hang on, spray can.
(Patrick) Good idea. Get it out.
This better be fucking good.
Fuck!
No-one talks to my family like that.
Not even a fucking mute.
He's still alive!
What's he saying?
l don't know. He's probably
thanking his lucky stars.
Right, come on lads, time for a pint.
Pint of dog, Kev, and a whisky
chaser, and one for yourself.
- Veronica? Drink?
- What are you gonna to do with that?
What am l gonna do?
l'm gonna have a big fucking party!
Oh, that's a bit tight, innit?
Whatever happened to
share and share alike?
That's what l'm doin', innit?
Yeah, but l mean, what about your kids?
You're going to give your kids
some money.
Well...
Well, you know, Debbie can always do
with a bit of help with housekeeping.
lan can't earn much
glass collecting in here, can he?
And Carl and Lip are
always needing new clothes.
Jesus wept.
Thank fuck l didn't have any more.
Liam.
Then there's the twins - that'll be two.
- Oh, and that...
- What's that for?
That's for me.
Hot tips cost money, Francis.
Fucking hell.
There's 40 quid there.
You'll be able to get Sheila
something really nice
with that, won't ya?
l'm sorry, love.
l'm afraid the little
deaf cunt got away.
So l only hope this will go
some way to making up for your loss.
Patrick!
Oh, l'm fucking made up!
Nice, isn't it?
GlGGLlNG
(Patrick) Oh, my God!
Frank! Come on home.
Just a minu...
What's that?
lt's...a little gift.
ls it for me?
For you.
Happy birthday.
Oh, Frank. You're such a lovely man.
Thank you. Come on.
Let's get you home. l'm gonna
cook you a nice Nigella or a Delia.
Won't be needing that, then.
You can clear your tab.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, Frank, thank you.
l love you so much.
You must have dropped it in
the teddy's pocket.
Listen. l thought you were
really great yesterday,
what you said to my Dad.
You know, no-one ever stands up to him.
So, if you want to come round,
see Katie, well, that's OK.
Cheers, Mandy.
Thanks.
Can l pick her up?
l've not picked her up yet.
Go on. Don't fucking drop her.
Language! Baby.
(Lip) 'Boy meets girl.
Girl's dad kidnaps deaf mute.
'Boy gets to hold baby.
lt's the age-old story.
'Thing is, when you look at
your own child,
'you think there's no other bloke in
the entire fucking universe cares
'as much about this creature as l do,
and that's gotta mean sommat.'
l'd like to report
someone for benefit fraud.
Apparently they're looking into
everybody round here who's claiming.
- Well, l'm fucked then.
(Woman) You and half the fucking estate.
Parasites.
l told Emily you'd be her brother.
They've got a visit round theirs.
- Are they paying?
- Fuck off! She's me girlfriend.
l've texted Lip three times.
Where the fuck is he?
Ta-da! Brendan Tyler lives.
Doesn't feel right to me though,
cracking on your married.
- You bastard!
- What's this? An ambush?
l saw you with Mandy Maguire.
l can't believe you'd land me
in the shit!
lt's got nowt to do with you!
Cos l'm nothing, l suppose.
Just your bit on the side.
Argh!
He's never asked me, you know, Tony.
That should be me there.
That should be me!
Ah! Sheila!
700? l only won five.
Sorry, mate.
l'm trying to run a business here.
But the last time you sold
it us, Waggy, it was 600.
Nothing l can do about it!
lnflation.