Shameless (2011–…): Season 3, Episode 2 - The American Dream - full transcript
Fiona stresses about the money she used for her club night and it gets worse when Lip finds out. Frank makes his way home and he's the only one who can keep Hymie quiet. Kevin's wife resurfaces.
- This is what you missed
last week on shameless.
It was great.
It was all about me.
Sort of the hero's journey.
[rock music]
Where am I?
- Juarez.
- Did I miss christmas?
- You almost missed easter.
- Morning, debs.
- 137 days.
- He'll be back, debs.
He always comes back.
[tires screech]
- [grunting]
- Well, hello, steve.
- Nando.
You know, I was surprised
to see you in the states
'cause I-I thought that the dea
had you on a watch list.
- They do.
So you can imagine how happy
I am to come here.
I've arranged for estefania
to pursue an economics degree.
I want her to be
an american citizen, steve.
When immigration comes,
you will be her husband.
But that means you can't
get into any trouble.
- How am I supposed
to make a living?
- Get a job.
- Lost my job today.
- We gonna have enough
for the property tax bill?
- Just, with the check
I got today.
Lip and ian left early?
- They said they had
to pick something up
Downtown before school.
- Downtown?
- What they said.
- I was hoping you'd give me
a shot at assistant managing,
Like we discussed
last fall.
- Give me 1,000 bucks, I'll find
you a night to promote.
- $1,000.
It's all there.
- Okay.
You're on the calendar.
- Oh, my god.
[indistinct chatter]
- Daddy!
[high strung's
the luck you got]
♪
- ♪ think of all the luck
you got ♪
♪ know that
it's not for naught ♪
♪ you were beaming
once before ♪
♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪
♪ what is this downside
♪ that you speak of?
♪ what is this feeling
♪ you're so sure of?
♪
♪ round up the friends
you got ♪
♪ know that
they're not for naught ♪
♪ you were willing
once before ♪
♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪
♪ what is this downside
♪ that you speak of?
♪ what is this feeling
♪ you're so sure of?
- [gasps]
shit!
- What's the matter?
- $1,000.
- Mm, back to sleep.
- I can't breathe.
- Maybe it has something to do
with the pillow on your face.
- I gotta pay
the property tax.
- All right, come here,
come here, come here.
- [gasping]
- [moaning]
- Stop poking me
with that thing.
- Thought you liked me
poking you with this thing.
- What was I thinking?
- [sighs exasperatedly]
Is this
about the club thing?
- I woke up
having a panic attack
That I was just like frank
and monica taking our money,
Except I wasn't even
getting high with it.
- You know, you're gonna throw
a kick-ass club night.
You gotta be entrepreneurial,
right?
Invest in yourself.
[farts]
- Are you taking a dump
right now?
- Like clockwork, every morning.
- Jesus.
- What, I can't take
a dump in here?
- Not in front of me
you can't.
- You were in the shower.
- Yeah, and now
I'm out of the shower.
- I wouldn't care if you
took a dump in front of me.
- [sighs]
Oh! What's going on?
- Frank drunk
looking for a bed.
- Who the hell let him?
- Debbie!
- We begged her not to.
- He's not
hot-bunking my bed.
- Why can't he sleep out
on the porch? It's warm enough.
- I want my old bed back.
- Oh, hell, no!
- Up.
Step, step.
- Morning, frank.
- This is my house!
- It's okay, daddy.
You can sleep in my room.
- Wouldn't do it, debs.
He's especially ripe
this morning.
- Frank smells
like dog piss.
- Not dog piss!
Gary the homeless guy.
- Come on, daddy.
Sweet dreams, daddy.
- Hey, that's my tent.
- I'll hose it off
after he wakes up.
- Debs, don't let frank
in here anymore.
- This is his home too.
- He disappeared for months.
- And now he's back.
Excuse.
[rock music]
♪
- Milk money.
- Breakfast.
- Did you wash up
after you pooped?
- What are you,
my mom now?
- We're supposed to wash up
after we poop?
- [smacks lips]
- Tell your girlfriend
to wear clothes, lip.
- Not her keeper.
- Don't look if you
don't like what you see.
- Sweet.
- Pants. Now.
- Jesus.
Hey, you going
to school today?
- Oh, no. Later. Gotta skip
my first three periods,
So I can start clocking
community service hours.
And the last 50 bucks
to the property tax, yo.
This should bring us right
around where we need to be.
- I didn't put in the money
from that last
Toxic waste gig I had yet.
- Okay, that's cool.
Hand it over,
and I'll drop it off
Before I go to community
service, pay the tax man.
- I don't have it.
- Don't have what?
- The money.
I used it to put down
a deposit on a club night.
- All right.
Debs, carl, let's go.
School time.
- Gotta bring daddy
his breakfast first.
- Uh, but the property tax,
that's already two weeks late.
- We're always
two weeks late.
I'll have the money back
right after the party.
- It wasn't yours to spend.
- Yeah, it was.
I earned it.
- Oh. Oh, that's
how we're doing this now.
Okay, well, I'll take
the money I made last week
And buy an ipad.
Ian, what are you gonna do
with your paycheck, huh?
New leather jacket?
Liam?
- I have an opportunity to make
some real money here, lip.
- It's not that easy.
- I've been in
the club business a long time.
- Yeah, sure you have.
Slinging cocktails, okay?
Look, you don't know shit
about promoting a club party.
- Thanks for the vote
of confidence, lip.
[jazz music]
♪
- ♪ I'm a working man
with a 9:00 to 5:00 ♪
- Hey, daddy.
Brought you breakfast.
- ♪ gotta be a slave
- And the newspaper.
Good to have you home.
Can you help me
with my social studies project?
It's on the civil war.
Gotta build
lincoln's log cabin.
- Deb.
- Hmm?
- Too much noise.
I need peace and quiet.
I'm trying to sleep.
- Seriously?
You're walking me to the curb?
What, did I go back in time
and turn six?
- Have a good day at school,
carl.
Learn something useful.
[muffled, throbbing music]
♪
- ♪ we called it love
♪ but even the sun sets
in paradise ♪
♪ I'm at a payphone
trying to call home ♪
- [knocks]
- [sings along] ♪ all
of my change I spent on you ♪
♪ where have
the times gone? ♪
♪ baby it's all wrong
♪ where are
the plans we... ♪
You like?
Maroon 5.
- What the hell
are you doing here?
- Have you gotten
a job yet?
- No.
- Nando told you to get a job.
- Listen, I don't know
what it's like in brazil,
But we're
in a recession here.
- Oh. Hmm.
I'll keep my eye on you
from now on, okay?
- Excuse me?
- Make sure
you don't get into trouble.
We are partners now.
Wherever you go,
I go.
[snickers]
like a married couple, huh?
♪ even the sun sets
in paradise ♪
♪ I'm at a payphone
- Why they got you
doing this, man?
- "b" and "e," theft,
and assault.
- [scoffs] nice.
- You?
- Hit a kid with a brick.
Kinda broke his face.
- Hey, how many hours
you get for that?
- 50.
- Shit, man,
I got 120.
- Least there's always
someone with some weed.
[car horn honks]
[upbeat rock music]
Hey, got any weed?
- 10 bucks a joint.
- See, what'd I tell you?
- What's up
with the geek squad?
- Is that
the fucking cast of glee?
- Yeah. Looks like
a bunch of do-gooders.
- More like a bunch of
gonna get their ass kicked-ers.
- ♪ back in high school
♪ when I really liked you
♪ I was always
just a friend ♪
- Hey, meg.
- Hey.
What's up?
- Wanted to get
your staff list.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
That's a good idea.
- Was also wondering if we could
renegotiate my split of the bar.
- 15% doesn't work
for you?
- I heard wendell
gets, like, 30%.
- He's my best promoter.
He brings in,
like, a huge crowd.
It's your first gig.
It takes time.
- What if she brought
her own booze?
We'll get it from kev.
Make more money,
it'll work out better.
- Gonna have to make it
worth my while.
- We could do
the same split,
Except I keep the 85%
and give you the 15%.
- [sighs]
Okay.
Bring your own booze.
But I want 20%.
- ♪ tattooed in my mind
just like a memory ♪
♪ when I looked
in your eyes ♪
- [fires]
- ♪ you call me,
I call you ♪
♪ I see you every day
at school ♪
- [grunts]
yeah.
Come on, g.I.
Pound me like
an iraqi soldier.
- Okay, you need
to shut the fuck up.
- [laughs]
oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, you're still talking?
- Hey!
What's going on under there?
- Fuck, fuck.
- Who is it?
- Probably a teacher
or some shit.
I told you
you were too loud.
- Look, I can't get expelled.
My parents will kill me.
- Probably hearing about the gay
sex will kill 'em sooner.
- Lookee what we got here.
- Mickey?
- Thought you
were still in juvie.
- Not anymore.
- [coughing]
- You having some sort
of queer-bo sex under here?
- [gasping]
no, no, I swear.
Why are you still beating me up?
He was doing it too.
- You're the one taking it
in the ass, right?
You're the one
I gotta kick straight.
It working?
- Yes, yes.
- Good.
Get the hell outta here.
- You got any fuck
left in you,
Or you dump it all
in that faggot's ass?
[rock music]
♪
[hymie crying]
- Oh, my little chee-chee.
Please don't cry.
- [crying]
- Please don't cry,
my little boy.
Please don't cry.
- [crying]
- Mama's so tired.
Don't you want to give
your wee lungs a--
Aah!
Aah.
Oh, god, that's so loud.
Everything's so loud.
Maybe we can...
Have jody
rub your tummy.
And mama,
she can take a little nap.
[sighs]
I don't remember karen causing
such a fuss as you, hymie.
Maybe it's
from your chinese side.
Okay.
- Cool, you got hymie
to quiet down?
- Hymie!
[rock music]
No!
No! No, no, no,
he's not trash!
- Whoa! Whoa!
- He's not trash!
No, hymie!
No, no, no, no!
[hymie crying]
oh, hymie!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Hymie!
Hymie!
Oh! Oh, my god!
Oh, my--oh, my--
Hymie.
I'm so sorry!
- It's okay, sheila,
he's fine.
- No, but he was almost
swallowed up by the truck!
Oh, my--I'm such
a terrible mother.
- No, you're just--
you're just a tired mother.
- [sobs]
no, no, I--
I don't deserve
to live.
- Come on, let's go back inside.
- I'm such a t--no.
- We'll call debbie
to come baby-sit again,
And we'll get some rest.
Okay? Come on.
- I'm sorry, baby.
- It's okay.
- No, no, no!
- You ever shoot crack?
- No.
- Ever eat mescaline-laced
mushrooms?
- [inhales]
nope.
- Put a tequila-soaked tampon
up your ass?
- What?
No, dude.
I get it. I'm--I'm obviously
not as cool as you.
- Smells good.
- Yeah,
it's, um, primo stuff.
20 bucks a joint.
- Can I buy five?
- Yeah, sure thing.
- I'm casper.
- Lip.
- Grizz.
- You live around here?
- About four blocks over.
- Cool.
[coughs]
- I guess.
Where you from?
- Uh, lakeshore.
- I didn't choose it,
I was just born there.
- What are you doing
slumming it down here?
- [chuckles]
city youth.
We're, uh, beautifying chicago
one block at a time.
- Good luck with that.
Those flowers--they're not
gonna last about two hours.
- Just looks good
on my tufts application.
Admissions people are into you
helping out the poor and shit.
Oh, sorry.
- It's okay.
I'm not offended.
Hey, uh,
You interested
in beautifying
Any other parts
of the neighborhood?
- Anything
to beef up my cv.
- Think I may have
something for you.
See if I can work it out.
- Dude, hit me up
anytime.
I'm on facebook.
Casper duncan.
- You got it,
casper duncan.
- Man, that was good.
Missed ya.
- You did?
- Yeah, man.
I had to do
all the fucking in juvie.
Otherwise I'd end up
someone's bitch, right?
Nice to switch back.
- Thought you had
four more months.
- Yeah, let me out
for overcrowding or some shit.
- Coming back to school?
- [spits, scoffs]
Hell, no, man.
I'd still be a fuckin' freshman.
I haven't passed
a single class.
- Why'd you come back,
then?
- Fronted a bunch of coke
before I went in.
Time to collect.
- Oh!
That's good.
So good.
- Third call this week
from that same woman, kev.
- She won't leave a message?
- No.
- Probably a fucking
bill collector.
Can you just keep
dodging her, please?
- Mm-hmm.
- Hi, baby.
How's the foot?
- It's goddamn itchy.
What are you two
foxy ladies up to?
- Need to bum
some liquor off ya.
- For her club night.
- What, they don't
have booze over there?
- She'll make more money
if she brings her own.
- All right.
Hobble this way.
[honky-tonk music playing]
♪
[women chuckling]
- Okay,
how much you need?
- More than this.
- There's gonna be at least
200 people there, babe.
- Have you ever seen
more than 20 deadbeats
In here at one time?
- What about
your liquor distributor?
Could I get
the booze from them?
- Yeah, maybe.
Walter's a cool enough guy,
for a roselli.
- What? You're dealing with
the mob? You never told me that.
- Stan burned
every bridge in town.
Walter's the only
liquor distributor
That'll do business
with us.
- How much
would the booze cost?
- For 200 people?
Top shelf? Close to 5 grand.
For well drinks,
you'd probably get away with 3.
- Would he let me set up
an account and invoice me later?
- Yeah, maybe.
He'll do a credit check, though.
- I've got perfect credit.
- No credit does not
equal perfect credit.
- Do you even have
a social security number?
- He'll want you to leave
one of the kids as collateral.
- Okay, I get it.
I'll just buy the booze
from him up front, then.
- Whose money
you gonna use?
- Douche bag.
[rock music]
♪
Uniform sales.
Bus driver.
Short order cook.
- How's it going, jim-nasium?
- Hey, what's going on?
- Can I borrow
some money from you?
- Yeah, sure, how much?
- $5,000? Pay you back
after my club night?
What?
- Yeah, kinda strapped
right now.
I got, like, uh,
300 bucks on me.
- Are those my jeans,
frank?
- Found 'em upstairs
in my room.
- It's not
your room anymore.
- You're cutting
her jeans into shorts?
- Had three pair of my own,
but somebody tossed my clothes.
- These are, like, $120.
I got 'em at goodwill
for, like, 40 bucks!
[sighs]
Can you go to the bank
and get more money?
- I don't have any.
- What about your parents?
- I haven't gotten anything
from them since I was 18.
- Really? College?
- Cars, insurance.
- Okay, I haven't gotten any
cash from them since I was 18.
- For two years you've been
offering to give me money,
And now when I ask,
you don't have any?
- I'm sorry.
- This is why I never
ask anybody for help.
I feel like a jackass now.
- Whoa, hey. Are you mad at me?
Because you get mad at me
when I offer you money,
And now you're getting mad
because I can't?
- I'll just figure it out
myself, okay?
- Okay.
- Let's go, v.
- Frank, what the hell?
I got that roast chicken
for dinner tonight!
- My house, my kitchen,
my fridge, my chicken.
I cut these too short.
My balls are hanging out.
- Yeah.
- Nice ass.
- [scoffs] thought you were
my history teacher mr. Crouch.
- Well,
sorry to disappoint.
- Hey,
how was community service?
- Yeah, good.
I met
some north side kids.
Think I can make
some dough off of them.
- Cool.
- Yeah,
gotta do what I can
With my sister stealing a bunch
of our property tax money.
- Well,
that was cunty of her.
You know, you should be in
charge of your family's money,
Not fiona.
- Mr. Gallagher,
just left mr. Healey's office.
- Rumors about you two true?
- Said you were supposed
to ask me for a recommendation.
- Sure, in his mind,
I was supposed to do that.
- A letter of recommendation
from a science teacher
Looks good
on your college applications.
- Bet it does.
- So we got 20 cases of beer,
16 cases of wine,
Got two cases
of champagne.
I got 10 liters of vodka,
six gin, four rum,
Four scotch, four bourbon,
and enough mixers and garnishes
For, like, 200 people.
Sound about right?
- Yup.
And I can return
whatever I don't use?
- Absolutely.
Let me just tally this up here
for you.
- What are you doing?
- [scoffs] ordering booze.
What's it look like?
- I hope the payment
doesn't involve my titties.
- Okay, my dear,
I got you in at $4,857,
Which includes the 10% discount
'cause you're a friend of kev's.
And I went ahead
and waived the delivery fee
'cause you're
a first-time customer.
How would you like
to pay for this?
- Check.
- Need a pen?
- Yes, please.
- Let me go check
the schedule,
See what time we'll get this
out to you, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- 'scuse me.
- Yes.
- Is there more than $17
in that account?
- By the time the check clears,
I'll have it covered.
- The guy is in the mob.
You're cutting him a check
trading on kev's good name?
- Gotta be entrepreneurial,
right?
If I don't invest in myself,
no one else ever will.
- [knocks]
- [muffled]
come in.
Oh, surprised to see you
At the college counseling
center, miss milkovich.
- Came to talk
to you about lip.
- I'm not at liberty
to discuss another student,
But I'd be more than happy
to help you
With your future options.
- [scoffs]
please.
You and I both know
my only options
Are getting pregnant
or getting arrested,
So cut the crap.
- Okay.
Then lip.
He's got a good chance
of getting out of here.
- And what are you doing
about it?
- Encouraging him
to go to college.
Doesn't seem to be
too interested.
- You're a guidance counselor.
Fucking guide him.
- There's only so much
I can do.
- What should he be doing?
- Keeping his grades up.
Getting teacher
recommendations,
Finding himself
a legitimate job,
Filling out
his college applications.
Now, you think you can help
with any of that?
- Maybe.
- All right, stop by
at the end of the day,
I'll post
some college brochures,
You can take 'em
with you.
I think you have
a better chance
Of getting through to him
than I did, lysistrata.
- What?
- Show up for english
once in a while,
And you'll get
the reference.
- All right.
Let's go, buddy.
All right.
Yeah.
- Daddy.
- No, I'm not black enough or
drunk enough to be your daddy.
Whoa!
- Mommy.
- Yeah.
- Mommy.
- You seriously gonna keep
following me everywhere I go?
- It's my job.
- Don't you ever have
to go to the bathroom?
Okay.
Okay.
There you go.
Hey, este, it's me.
- Hi.
[panting]
- Why are you
breathing so hard?
- Gym.
- You never know with you.
So beto
is sitting out front.
He follows me
wherever I go.
Your father told him
to keep an eye on me?
- Don't worry. He's harmless.
- Who?
Your father or beto?
Because neither of them
seemed harmless
When they
were dicing up marco.
- Beer.
I need beer.
- [panting]
- Just a second, frank.
- Stay out of trouble,
and you'll be fine.
- All right, listen.
I gotta go.
I gotta run some errands,
make some money for fiona.
- Look,
my dad is a hothead.
Blows off steam,
threatens lives,
And then cools down,
forgets why he was mad.
He is gemini.
He will call
beto off soon.
- Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
- Gracias.
- Hey, uh, 'scuse me.
What happened to all the meth
heads squatting in here?
- Who the hell are you?
- Concerned
neighborhood citizen.
- Took me six months
to get rid of 'em.
- Yeah, I heard there were
dead bodies in there too.
- Yeah. Four, yeah.
Coyotes got to 'em at one point.
Gonna take me eight weeks
to make it livable again.
- Hey, how much
you paying these guys?
- Too much.
- Might have
a better deal for you.
[gunshots, explosion]
- How's the pasta?
- Good.
- You're like our maid now.
- Thanks, carl.
[gunshots on tv]
[car engine revs]
- Hey, debs,
watch liam for a bit.
I gotta run an errand.
- No can do.
Baby-sitting for sheila.
- Carl.
- Can I stay up late
and watch tv?
- Absolutely.
[rock music]
♪
- I'm going to sheila's tonight,
daddy.
Baby-sitting.
- A noble job, debs.
- That stupid baby's
still crying?
- Won't stop.
- Hey,
that's my toothbrush.
- And thanks
For sharing it with me, son.
- Oh, man!
Eew!
- Now that we're a family again,
I want to encourage us to be
all for one and one for all.
- Ew, gonna have
to boil it now.
- You need the number
over at sheila's?
Where I'll be.
- No, why would I?
I'll be heading out
to the alibi soon.
- Oh, and don't worry about me
walking home late at night.
I have a pillowcase
full of bars of soap.
- Good for you.
You get along a lot better
With a weapon and a kind word
than a kind word alone.
Any of that spaghetti left?
[gunshots on tv]
- Oh, darn it.
[sizzles]
Ew.
[rock music]
♪
[gunshots on tv]
[sighs]
[drill whirring]
- What are you doing?
- Keeping frank out.
Planning to go
to carnegie mellon?
- Please.
That's for nerds and homos.
But, um, healey
thinks lip should apply.
- Fat chance.
- He's smart enough.
- Yeah, but too stupid
to do anything about it.
I already tried.
Hey, can I ask you
a question?
- Sure.
- How do you know
if a guy
You've been hanging out with
likes you?
- You like him?
- Uh-huh,
but I think he hates me.
- Ask him.
- Doesn't want
to talk about it.
- No guy ever does.
- How do I know, then?
- Does he get that look
in his eye when he's with you?
- What look?
- You'll know it
when you see it.
[hymie crying]
- Did you know that abe lincoln
lived in a one-room log cabin
When he was born, hymie,
And that his grandfather was
ambushed and killed by indians?
Some historians say that
because he was cold to women,
He might have had
homosexual tendencies.
- Debbie? Deb?
The whole point
of you baby-sitting hymie
Was to keep him quiet, so jody
and I could get some sleep.
- Sorry, sheila,
he won't stop.
[hymie crying]
- Why don't you take him
for a walk?
- Where?
- I don't care.
Just anywhere.
Just don't come back
for a few hours.
Okay?
[cell phone rings]
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, where are you?
- I am...
[clicks]
running an errand.
Where are you?
- Uh, at v's, changing.
I'm gonna run by the club,
talk to this promoter.
See if we can get
his email list
To invite more people
to my party.
- Good idea.
- You mind
watching the kids?
- Got it covered.
- Thanks. Bye.
- Bye.
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
Okay, okay, okay, I'm out.
I'm out, I'm out.
Oh.
- Why you steal porsche?
- I needed money
to help my girlfriend.
- You have a car at home.
Sell that.
- How am I
supposed to get around?
- Nando will kill us both
if you get into trouble.
- Okay, I promise
not to do it again, okay?
- You betray me.
- What are you doing?
[cracks]
ow!
Fuck me!
Holy shit!
- Clean break, I think.
Don't screw with me again.
- Fine.
Okay.
- Come on.
- Ow.
- I take you
to the hospital,
Then we go get
american whoppers, huh?
[car chirps]
- ♪ you've got it
♪ the way
you grinding up on me ♪
♪ I know,
I know you want me ♪
♪ you want me,
you want me ♪
♪ the way
you kissing up on me ♪
♪ I know,
I know you need me ♪
♪ you need me,
you need me ♪
- Hey, meg,
is wendell around?
- Uh, yeah,
right over there.
- ♪ the way
you grinding up on me ♪
- Thanks.
- I'll tell you this.
For all of their laziness
and lack of motivation,
The mexicans
are a lovely people.
- Why'd you
go down there, frank?
Hey,
I'll take another, kev.
- Sometimes a man
just has to get away,
Be alone
with his thoughts.
- Hey!
Jesus.
So what, you woke up
from a drunken stupor,
Didn't know where you were?
- I knew exactly
where I was.
Had a business opportunity
With our south-of-the-border
brothers.
What did you do to your foot?
- It fell off.
Was the only prosthetic
I could afford.
What kind
of business opportunity?
- I was hired to move
some inventory.
- Drug mule?
- Only the best
the mexicanos have ever seen.
- Not something you really want
to be bragging about, frank.
- Which end did it go in?
- Yo, frank.
Some chick's outside
with a baby looking for you.
- Oh, no.
- Who is it, frank?
- I-I-I don't know.
But does that sound like
good news to you?
I'm gonna slip out
the back.
- Sounds like you were
Slipping it out the back
in mexico, frank.
[laughter]
[baby crying]
- Shh.
Daddy.
- Wait, you're the chick
with the baby?
- Kev won't let me in
after 6:00 p.M. Anymore.
- What the hell's wrong
with liam?
- This isn't liam, it's hymie.
- Jeez.
Shut him up.
Sheila has
an oriental baby?
- I have to finish
my civil war project...
- Jesus.
- And he won't stop crying.
You were always
so good with liam.
- Give--give him--
give him to me.
Open his mouth.
- What is that?
- Valium.
- Are you supposed
to give valium to a baby?
- Oh, yeah.
It always worked with you.
- Oh.
[hymie's crying subsides]
- Voila.
- Thanks, daddy.
- Hey, loan me 20 bucks,
will ya?
- [sighs]
I only have five.
- That'll do it.
- I hate you!
[clattering]
[glass shatters]
- ♪ come, come, baby, yeah
♪ come, come,
baby, yeah ♪
♪ push my button,
make me wanna play ♪
- [chuckles]
Your friend
likes to dance.
- The tequila
likes to dance.
- Yeah.
So you think
you're gonna be able
To pull this off
tomorrow night?
- [inhales]
hope so.
- I bet you will.
Looks like you have
some real talent.
- You're not talking about my
club promoting skills, are you?
- What makes you say that?
- Your hand on my knee.
- I meant to put it
up your skirt.
- Oh.
What are
the chances of me
Getting ahold
of your email lists?
- Why would I give them
to you?
- Mm, satisfaction of knowing
you're helping a good person.
- No, I can't come
inside that.
- I could give you
a cut of my bar, then.
10%?
- You know how long it took me
to build up my list?
You honestly think I'd risk it
on you throwing some lame party
And ruining my brand
for anything less than 50%?
- Well,
that's an interesting offer.
Let me discuss it
with my partner.
- ♪ come, come, baby, yeah,
come, come, baby, yeah ♪
- He wants 50% of the bar
for his email list,
And he's
a giant douche bag.
- No worries.
I swiped his phone
from his jacket
As soon as I saw
his hand on your knee.
Has all his contacts.
Gotta be entrepreneurial,
right?
Aah!
- Aah!
- [whispering]
debbie?
- [whispering]
nighty-night, hymie.
- Oh, my goodness.
How did you do it,
debbie?
- Daddy's good
with babies.
- Frank?
- [sighs]
You just getting home?
- Oh, hey.
Still awake?
- Where have you been?
- Uh, emergency room.
Slammed it in the door.
Yeah.
- Well, you're in trouble.
You let carl stay up late
on a school night.
- Oh.
- I think you need
a spanking.
- Hmm?
- I can't do it
with your pants on, though.
- Then I
should take them off.
- Very bad boy.
- I've been
a bad, bad boy.
Bad.
- This purdue place
looks cool.
- I want mommy to show me
how bad I've been.
- There's no way
she's gonna
Make the money back
for the property tax.
- It says
they're one of the top
Engineering schools
in the country.
- I'm gonna have
to figure out a way
To make up the 1,000 bucks
she's gonna lose.
- You listening to me?
- Oh, yeah, you know,
it's kind of hard
With the, uh, porno going
on across the hall.
- Is it wrong that
it's kind of turning me on?
- Yeah, me too.
- Morning.
- Hey.
- Jimmy gonna come down
to make us breakfast?
- He's sleeping in.
Eat your cereal.
- Wore him out, huh?
- You too. Eat your cereal.
- Spoiled now.
Need an omelet.
- So, um, how's the club night
thing coming?
- Gonna be a big success.
Probably make enough money
to roll it into another one.
Take out a small loan,
really get things going.
What's wrong, debs?
- [sighs]
got home late.
Baby-sitting.
- So the ghetto girl
Thinks she can live
the american dream, huh?
- Maybe it's my time, lip.
- [chuckles]
- none of your business, mandy.
- Don't you see,
it doesn't work like that, sis.
'cause when you're poor,
only way to make money
Is to steal it
or scam it,
Like don king
or joe kennedy.
- Daddy's home!
Brought friends.
- Howdy!
- Just dump--
dump it.
- That's a new floor.
- Hey, that's my bike!
- Doesn't really work
anymore.
- Yeah, because you
bent the rim, frank.
And where's the seat?
- That's why it hurt so much
when I rode it.
Come on, fellas.
Get some brekkie,
soak up the alcohol.
- Do you have sourdough?
- Hey, this is our food!
- Don't be rude.
- Is this about money,
fiona?
Because I am happy
to pay my share.
That's all you ever want
from me anymore anyway.
There.
You happy, huh?
That's about $300 worth.
Come on, lads!
Let's go upstairs,
take a disco nap
Till the alibi's
open again.
- Dad, no, no.
- Lip, don't.
- This is my home.
You have no right
to kick me out of it.
I am an important part
of this family.
- No, you're not.
You don't live here
anymore.
- Fine.
If that's the way
you want it, I'll leave.
Phil, chester,
I'm sorry.
My family
doesn't want me here anymore.
Charge!
[overlapping chatter]
- shit!
- Jackass!
- That's it.
Let's go! Go!
- Stop it, guys!
Stop!
- Move, move.
- Just pick a bed, fellas!
Just pick a bed.
Oh, my god.
- What the hell are you doing?
- Enough.
- [shouts]
- come on, get up right now.
You cannot--
[overlapping shouting]
- Get up!
You are not sleeping here.
- No, stop!
- Come on.
Get up, get up!
[overlapping chatter]
- he's not doing anything!
- You are not going to--
Go!
- What's the matter with you?
- [gasps]
- Well, that's
a piece of shit anyway.
- [sighs]
Frank!
- Debs...
Damn it, frank,
get the fuck out!
- No, you cannot
do this to her!
Come on, get up right now.
You cannot do this.
- Get out!
- Get out!
- Jesus!
Stop!
- I treated you well!
And you--
- Ow!
- How could you do this to me?
- Stop! Stop--
- Get out of my house!
I hate you!
I don't even care!
- Jesus!
- Get out! Get out!
- Dad.
Get him out.
- Ow, god!
- Debs!
- Debs!
- [muffled crying]
Get out!
I hate you! Get--
Don't you touch me!
- [panting]
- [sobs]
- oh, my god.
- Get out!
- After everything
I have done for you,
This is the thanks
I get.
- Where should we put him?
- Where he belongs.
Open it up, carl!
- Got it.
- Whatever, you--
Jesus christ!
Not funny!
Not funny at all!
- Gonna need you to clean
the blood splatter on the walls,
Evidence marks on the floor,
and patch up the bullet holes.
That should
get you started.
Supplies are inside.
- Shit.
- You okay, buddy?
- Been trying all morning
to get tickets
To the wilco concert
at soldier field tonight.
Can't get through.
- Wilco?
Aren't they for, like, dads with
receding hairlines and shit?
- Come on, wilco is the beacon
of anti-commercialism.
- Yeah, because no one
wants to buy their whiny music,
They gotta give it away
for free.
- Shit.
- All right, here you go.
It's 50 bucks a head.
That's $400.
- Hey, hey, um,
Is there any chance I can get an
advance on the next couple days?
- Hey, slow your roll, kid.
I haven't seen
what they could do yet.
- Senor.
- Yeah?
- This man stole our jobs?
- No, no, I didn't steal them,
I just underbid you.
- But we are illegal immigrants.
- Yeah.
- How can you underbid us?
- Ghetto white's
the new brown.
- The what?
- The new brown.
- This is unfair.
- Just living
the american dream, amigo!
- Okay, let's keep eight cases
of that beer up front,
And put the rest
in the back refrigerator.
- Hello.
- People showing up
already?
[muffled pop music]
- Can I help you?
- Alderman edward gretsky,
15th ward.
- Okay.
- Throwing a party,
I see.
- Something like that.
- Just a friendly visit.
You know, make sure you filled
out all your applications.
- Applications?
- Business license, liquor
license, umbrella insurance.
- Well, I'm sure meg handled
everything that you need.
- She did.
For her business.
- What?
- Well, you're running
the show now, right?
- Well,
just for tonight.
- Then just for tonight
I'll make an exception
on the applications for...
Small filing fee.
- A filing fee?
- Let's say $1,000.
Wouldn't want
any pesky policemen or firemen
Showing up now,
would we?
♪
I'll come back later
to collect.
Let's say 2:00 a.M.
♪
- How is the pinky?
- It's doing okay.
So listen, my girlfriend's
having a party tonight.
It's important
that I go.
- Is there going to be
alcohol there?
- It's a party, it's kind of
how these things work, yeah.
- Drugs?
- Maybe.
- Bad things may happen.
- Yeah, or not.
- I go with you.
Just to make sure.
- Yeah, see, that's the thing
is that you can't go with me
Because then I'll have
to explain who you are,
How I know you,
that my life's in danger.
I mean, that won't
go over very well.
- Then you stay home.
[rock music]
♪
- Hey, sanchez.
- Aw, hell.
- Time to pay up.
- They let you out?
- Good behavior.
- I thought I had
four more months.
- Think again.
- Hey, yo,
campus security is coming.
- What the hell
are you doing?
- Didn't want you
to get busted.
- I can look after myself,
thank you.
- Does he get that look
in his eye--look in his eye--
Look in his eye
when he's with you?
- Just got outta juvie,
remember?
The fuck are you looking at?
- Nothing.
- You look great.
- Thanks, debs.
You okay with what happened
this morning? Frank?
- Jimmy's
in the bathroom puking.
- [sighs]
- [vomiting]
- [knocks]
what's going on?
- Oh, something I ate.
It's not sitting well.
[vomits]
- you need anything?
- [vomiting loudly]
No, I'm just bummed
I can't make it tonight.
I mean, I really wanted to go.
[flushes toilet]
- If you feel better later,
come on over, okay?
- Okay.
- [knocks]
- go away. We're not buying.
- [banging]
- Jeez.
I know, I know,
you want me to find jesus.
I already found him,
thanks.
- I'm looking for kev.
Kevin ball.
I'm his wife.
[mellow rock music]
♪
- Tommy!
Hey, you still got
that garage?
- Yeah, it kinda
comes with the house, frank.
- Great. What say
you let me sleep there?
- What say I don't.
- Why the hell not?
- Because the last time
You stayed at my place,
you shit in my kitchen sink.
- The layout of your home
is very confusing.
- No, frank.
No means no.
- Fuck you, tommy.
Fuck you means fuck you.
Kermit!
My best friend.
- You can't stay
with me, frank.
- Wh--what if
I suck your dick?
- Frank.
- What if you immigrate
to mexico, frank?
Reverse
the prevailing tide.
- Why are you
even here?
Should be
collecting disability.
- 'cause I didn't
injure my foot at work.
- Hey, let me crash
at your place.
I'll tell the insurance company
that you did.
- Why can't you stay
at your place, frank?
- Ungrateful little shits!
That's why.
Things I do for them.
Blood, sweat, and tears.
[phone rings]
This is not how a family
treats each other.
- Yeah.
Hang on.
It's for you. V.
- Hey, baby,
what's going on?
What?
No, yeah, okay.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Watch the bar.
- Little redheaded bitch
is the worst of 'em.
Expect it from the others,
but not from--
Not from--
from...
Her--
debbie.
Orphan annie
turned on me.
That's how I got
all these bruises.
She hit me.
With a bat.
Now, I can't touch her.
No.
That is child abuse.
I'd get reported.
Operator, can you connect me
with child welfare ser--
Services?
Yes, hello.
I would like to report, uh...
A-a negligence situation.
2119 north wallace.
Gallagher.
Six kids
living in squalor.
No parental supervision.
When the father is there,
he's drunk.
He hits them.
Not--n-not that they
don't deserve it.
They're all criminals,
delinquents, vio--what?
No, if it's all right, I would
like to remain anonymous.
No, thank you.
And god bless you.
- That is an all-time low.
Even for you, frank.
♪
- ♪ charge amex,
see, no limit ♪
♪ like you got an "a,"
score credit ♪
♪ living
that american dream ♪
♪ you could be
a celebrity ♪
♪ when you step
on the scene ♪
♪ I know
you gotta look hot ♪
♪ you and your girls
with dresses ♪
♪ turn that sound up
♪ you are
in the limelight ♪
♪ until they cut
your power out ♪
♪ shopping
like a rich girl ♪
♪ rich girl,
like a rich girl ♪
♪ shopping
like a rich girl ♪
- Hey, v, where are you?
This place is insane!
We did it!
- ♪ like a rich girl
♪ credit card,
max it out ♪
[muffled club music]
♪
- Hey, is this the club
Where wilco's gonna play
a secret concert?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's, uh,
20 bucks, self-parked.
30 valet.
- I'll park it myself.
- Cool.
Uh, just pull over
right down there.
That lovely lady
will show you to your spot.
Cool.
Have fun.
- Yo.
- Hey, lip.
- How you doing, man?
- Good.
Got your text about
the impromptu wilco concert.
Tweeted everyone I know.
- Thought you might.
Hey, hop out.
I'll have someone park your car.
- Thanks.
- Cool.
[surf rock music]
♪
- How long
we doing this for?
- Figure we park
about 30 more cars,
Make enough money to cover
the property tax,
At which time people
will probably start to realize
Wilco's not playing
at fiona's club.
Then we bolt.
- Out.
- Where am I
supposed to go?
[hymie crying]
- Just--just shake him.
[hymie crying]
- You're not supposed
to shake a baby.
- I know, but maybe
it'll make him stop crying.
- Yeah, because his brains
will get scrambled.
- They already are!
- Sheila!
- I'm just saying
maybe it'll
Scramble 'em
back together again.
- Howdy, folks.
You need help
with that baby?
- Frank?
- How'd you get in my house?
- I still have a key.
I-I-I got a proposition
for you, sheila.
- What? No!
- Frank, you have to leave.
- No, let me stay,
and I'll be your wet nurse.
I don't mean your wet nurse,
that involves breast-feeding,
But your nurse,
your baby nurse.
Room and board, you'll get
eight hours of sleep a night.
I can promise you that.
- Debbie did say
he was good with babies.
- There, you see?
My reputation precedes me.
Just give me
five minutes.
Aw, hell.
Give me 30 seconds.
If I can't put
this little tyke to sleep,
I'll--
I'll leave, pronto.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[hymie crying]
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, oh.
I got you.
Raised eight kids myself.
I know what I'm doing.
[chuckles]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here you go.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
[hymie quiets]
yeah.
- Ah.
H-how--
How did you do that,
frank?
- I think I'll take
a shower before bed.
- 75, 76, 78.
Okay.
Just over 10 grand.
- That's not bad.
- So 15% for you.
- I thought
we agreed on 20.
- Right.
$2,000.
- Thank you.
- Take mine
anytime you're ready.
Look forward to doing business
with you in the future.
- This is to cover
my booze.
And that leaves me
with 2 grand.
- Didn't forget
about us, did you?
- Of course not.
- Thanks, fiona.
- ♪ do you want
my love, boy? ♪
♪ do you want my love?
- Five, six, seven, eight...
$900?
That's all I have left?
- That's not bad
for your first gig.
- But that doesn't even
cover my deposit.
I lost $100
doing this night.
- Surprised
you didn't lose more.
It took me, like, eight gigs
before I saw a profit.
You gotta pay
your dues.
♪
- ♪ do you want my love?
[distant police sirens wail]
- Hey.
What's going on?
- Can I sleep here
tonight?
- Sure.
- How'd you do?
- It's gonna take a while
till I start making money.
Here.
Almost all of it.
I'll get the rest,
I promise.
- Ah, keep it.
- What?
- Well, if you're gonna gamble
our money,
You should hold
onto it, right?
- [scoffs] I was trying
to better our situation, lip.
- Oh, congratulations.
You risked everything,
And you didn't even
break even.
- It was my first time
doing this.
- That's not the point.
You made a decision without
consulting the rest of us.
- I'm in charge of this family.
- Really?
No, sorry, that's--
that's news to me.
You see, fiona, if we're gonna
be every man for himself,
This family
is going under fast.
- Here,
just take the money, okay?
Pay the property tax. I'll get
the rest tomorrow somehow.
- No, I don't need it.
- What?
- I took care
of the situation myself.
- [scoffs]
how?
- Told a bunch
of north side kids
That wilco was playing
at your party.
It's like I said.
The only way to make money
when you're poor
Is to steal it
or scam it.
But hey, um, let me know if
the rules are changing, right,
And you're gonna pull
this shit again?
Maybe I'll have to take
over the family money, huh?
[rock music]
♪
- [snoring]
- Are we sure
about this?
- He raised
six great kids.
Look at him.
He's like
the baby whisperer.
♪
last week on shameless.
It was great.
It was all about me.
Sort of the hero's journey.
[rock music]
Where am I?
- Juarez.
- Did I miss christmas?
- You almost missed easter.
- Morning, debs.
- 137 days.
- He'll be back, debs.
He always comes back.
[tires screech]
- [grunting]
- Well, hello, steve.
- Nando.
You know, I was surprised
to see you in the states
'cause I-I thought that the dea
had you on a watch list.
- They do.
So you can imagine how happy
I am to come here.
I've arranged for estefania
to pursue an economics degree.
I want her to be
an american citizen, steve.
When immigration comes,
you will be her husband.
But that means you can't
get into any trouble.
- How am I supposed
to make a living?
- Get a job.
- Lost my job today.
- We gonna have enough
for the property tax bill?
- Just, with the check
I got today.
Lip and ian left early?
- They said they had
to pick something up
Downtown before school.
- Downtown?
- What they said.
- I was hoping you'd give me
a shot at assistant managing,
Like we discussed
last fall.
- Give me 1,000 bucks, I'll find
you a night to promote.
- $1,000.
It's all there.
- Okay.
You're on the calendar.
- Oh, my god.
[indistinct chatter]
- Daddy!
[high strung's
the luck you got]
♪
- ♪ think of all the luck
you got ♪
♪ know that
it's not for naught ♪
♪ you were beaming
once before ♪
♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪
♪ what is this downside
♪ that you speak of?
♪ what is this feeling
♪ you're so sure of?
♪
♪ round up the friends
you got ♪
♪ know that
they're not for naught ♪
♪ you were willing
once before ♪
♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪
♪ what is this downside
♪ that you speak of?
♪ what is this feeling
♪ you're so sure of?
- [gasps]
shit!
- What's the matter?
- $1,000.
- Mm, back to sleep.
- I can't breathe.
- Maybe it has something to do
with the pillow on your face.
- I gotta pay
the property tax.
- All right, come here,
come here, come here.
- [gasping]
- [moaning]
- Stop poking me
with that thing.
- Thought you liked me
poking you with this thing.
- What was I thinking?
- [sighs exasperatedly]
Is this
about the club thing?
- I woke up
having a panic attack
That I was just like frank
and monica taking our money,
Except I wasn't even
getting high with it.
- You know, you're gonna throw
a kick-ass club night.
You gotta be entrepreneurial,
right?
Invest in yourself.
[farts]
- Are you taking a dump
right now?
- Like clockwork, every morning.
- Jesus.
- What, I can't take
a dump in here?
- Not in front of me
you can't.
- You were in the shower.
- Yeah, and now
I'm out of the shower.
- I wouldn't care if you
took a dump in front of me.
- [sighs]
Oh! What's going on?
- Frank drunk
looking for a bed.
- Who the hell let him?
- Debbie!
- We begged her not to.
- He's not
hot-bunking my bed.
- Why can't he sleep out
on the porch? It's warm enough.
- I want my old bed back.
- Oh, hell, no!
- Up.
Step, step.
- Morning, frank.
- This is my house!
- It's okay, daddy.
You can sleep in my room.
- Wouldn't do it, debs.
He's especially ripe
this morning.
- Frank smells
like dog piss.
- Not dog piss!
Gary the homeless guy.
- Come on, daddy.
Sweet dreams, daddy.
- Hey, that's my tent.
- I'll hose it off
after he wakes up.
- Debs, don't let frank
in here anymore.
- This is his home too.
- He disappeared for months.
- And now he's back.
Excuse.
[rock music]
♪
- Milk money.
- Breakfast.
- Did you wash up
after you pooped?
- What are you,
my mom now?
- We're supposed to wash up
after we poop?
- [smacks lips]
- Tell your girlfriend
to wear clothes, lip.
- Not her keeper.
- Don't look if you
don't like what you see.
- Sweet.
- Pants. Now.
- Jesus.
Hey, you going
to school today?
- Oh, no. Later. Gotta skip
my first three periods,
So I can start clocking
community service hours.
And the last 50 bucks
to the property tax, yo.
This should bring us right
around where we need to be.
- I didn't put in the money
from that last
Toxic waste gig I had yet.
- Okay, that's cool.
Hand it over,
and I'll drop it off
Before I go to community
service, pay the tax man.
- I don't have it.
- Don't have what?
- The money.
I used it to put down
a deposit on a club night.
- All right.
Debs, carl, let's go.
School time.
- Gotta bring daddy
his breakfast first.
- Uh, but the property tax,
that's already two weeks late.
- We're always
two weeks late.
I'll have the money back
right after the party.
- It wasn't yours to spend.
- Yeah, it was.
I earned it.
- Oh. Oh, that's
how we're doing this now.
Okay, well, I'll take
the money I made last week
And buy an ipad.
Ian, what are you gonna do
with your paycheck, huh?
New leather jacket?
Liam?
- I have an opportunity to make
some real money here, lip.
- It's not that easy.
- I've been in
the club business a long time.
- Yeah, sure you have.
Slinging cocktails, okay?
Look, you don't know shit
about promoting a club party.
- Thanks for the vote
of confidence, lip.
[jazz music]
♪
- ♪ I'm a working man
with a 9:00 to 5:00 ♪
- Hey, daddy.
Brought you breakfast.
- ♪ gotta be a slave
- And the newspaper.
Good to have you home.
Can you help me
with my social studies project?
It's on the civil war.
Gotta build
lincoln's log cabin.
- Deb.
- Hmm?
- Too much noise.
I need peace and quiet.
I'm trying to sleep.
- Seriously?
You're walking me to the curb?
What, did I go back in time
and turn six?
- Have a good day at school,
carl.
Learn something useful.
[muffled, throbbing music]
♪
- ♪ we called it love
♪ but even the sun sets
in paradise ♪
♪ I'm at a payphone
trying to call home ♪
- [knocks]
- [sings along] ♪ all
of my change I spent on you ♪
♪ where have
the times gone? ♪
♪ baby it's all wrong
♪ where are
the plans we... ♪
You like?
Maroon 5.
- What the hell
are you doing here?
- Have you gotten
a job yet?
- No.
- Nando told you to get a job.
- Listen, I don't know
what it's like in brazil,
But we're
in a recession here.
- Oh. Hmm.
I'll keep my eye on you
from now on, okay?
- Excuse me?
- Make sure
you don't get into trouble.
We are partners now.
Wherever you go,
I go.
[snickers]
like a married couple, huh?
♪ even the sun sets
in paradise ♪
♪ I'm at a payphone
- Why they got you
doing this, man?
- "b" and "e," theft,
and assault.
- [scoffs] nice.
- You?
- Hit a kid with a brick.
Kinda broke his face.
- Hey, how many hours
you get for that?
- 50.
- Shit, man,
I got 120.
- Least there's always
someone with some weed.
[car horn honks]
[upbeat rock music]
Hey, got any weed?
- 10 bucks a joint.
- See, what'd I tell you?
- What's up
with the geek squad?
- Is that
the fucking cast of glee?
- Yeah. Looks like
a bunch of do-gooders.
- More like a bunch of
gonna get their ass kicked-ers.
- ♪ back in high school
♪ when I really liked you
♪ I was always
just a friend ♪
- Hey, meg.
- Hey.
What's up?
- Wanted to get
your staff list.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
That's a good idea.
- Was also wondering if we could
renegotiate my split of the bar.
- 15% doesn't work
for you?
- I heard wendell
gets, like, 30%.
- He's my best promoter.
He brings in,
like, a huge crowd.
It's your first gig.
It takes time.
- What if she brought
her own booze?
We'll get it from kev.
Make more money,
it'll work out better.
- Gonna have to make it
worth my while.
- We could do
the same split,
Except I keep the 85%
and give you the 15%.
- [sighs]
Okay.
Bring your own booze.
But I want 20%.
- ♪ tattooed in my mind
just like a memory ♪
♪ when I looked
in your eyes ♪
- [fires]
- ♪ you call me,
I call you ♪
♪ I see you every day
at school ♪
- [grunts]
yeah.
Come on, g.I.
Pound me like
an iraqi soldier.
- Okay, you need
to shut the fuck up.
- [laughs]
oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, you're still talking?
- Hey!
What's going on under there?
- Fuck, fuck.
- Who is it?
- Probably a teacher
or some shit.
I told you
you were too loud.
- Look, I can't get expelled.
My parents will kill me.
- Probably hearing about the gay
sex will kill 'em sooner.
- Lookee what we got here.
- Mickey?
- Thought you
were still in juvie.
- Not anymore.
- [coughing]
- You having some sort
of queer-bo sex under here?
- [gasping]
no, no, I swear.
Why are you still beating me up?
He was doing it too.
- You're the one taking it
in the ass, right?
You're the one
I gotta kick straight.
It working?
- Yes, yes.
- Good.
Get the hell outta here.
- You got any fuck
left in you,
Or you dump it all
in that faggot's ass?
[rock music]
♪
[hymie crying]
- Oh, my little chee-chee.
Please don't cry.
- [crying]
- Please don't cry,
my little boy.
Please don't cry.
- [crying]
- Mama's so tired.
Don't you want to give
your wee lungs a--
Aah!
Aah.
Oh, god, that's so loud.
Everything's so loud.
Maybe we can...
Have jody
rub your tummy.
And mama,
she can take a little nap.
[sighs]
I don't remember karen causing
such a fuss as you, hymie.
Maybe it's
from your chinese side.
Okay.
- Cool, you got hymie
to quiet down?
- Hymie!
[rock music]
No!
No! No, no, no,
he's not trash!
- Whoa! Whoa!
- He's not trash!
No, hymie!
No, no, no, no!
[hymie crying]
oh, hymie!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Hymie!
Hymie!
Oh! Oh, my god!
Oh, my--oh, my--
Hymie.
I'm so sorry!
- It's okay, sheila,
he's fine.
- No, but he was almost
swallowed up by the truck!
Oh, my--I'm such
a terrible mother.
- No, you're just--
you're just a tired mother.
- [sobs]
no, no, I--
I don't deserve
to live.
- Come on, let's go back inside.
- I'm such a t--no.
- We'll call debbie
to come baby-sit again,
And we'll get some rest.
Okay? Come on.
- I'm sorry, baby.
- It's okay.
- No, no, no!
- You ever shoot crack?
- No.
- Ever eat mescaline-laced
mushrooms?
- [inhales]
nope.
- Put a tequila-soaked tampon
up your ass?
- What?
No, dude.
I get it. I'm--I'm obviously
not as cool as you.
- Smells good.
- Yeah,
it's, um, primo stuff.
20 bucks a joint.
- Can I buy five?
- Yeah, sure thing.
- I'm casper.
- Lip.
- Grizz.
- You live around here?
- About four blocks over.
- Cool.
[coughs]
- I guess.
Where you from?
- Uh, lakeshore.
- I didn't choose it,
I was just born there.
- What are you doing
slumming it down here?
- [chuckles]
city youth.
We're, uh, beautifying chicago
one block at a time.
- Good luck with that.
Those flowers--they're not
gonna last about two hours.
- Just looks good
on my tufts application.
Admissions people are into you
helping out the poor and shit.
Oh, sorry.
- It's okay.
I'm not offended.
Hey, uh,
You interested
in beautifying
Any other parts
of the neighborhood?
- Anything
to beef up my cv.
- Think I may have
something for you.
See if I can work it out.
- Dude, hit me up
anytime.
I'm on facebook.
Casper duncan.
- You got it,
casper duncan.
- Man, that was good.
Missed ya.
- You did?
- Yeah, man.
I had to do
all the fucking in juvie.
Otherwise I'd end up
someone's bitch, right?
Nice to switch back.
- Thought you had
four more months.
- Yeah, let me out
for overcrowding or some shit.
- Coming back to school?
- [spits, scoffs]
Hell, no, man.
I'd still be a fuckin' freshman.
I haven't passed
a single class.
- Why'd you come back,
then?
- Fronted a bunch of coke
before I went in.
Time to collect.
- Oh!
That's good.
So good.
- Third call this week
from that same woman, kev.
- She won't leave a message?
- No.
- Probably a fucking
bill collector.
Can you just keep
dodging her, please?
- Mm-hmm.
- Hi, baby.
How's the foot?
- It's goddamn itchy.
What are you two
foxy ladies up to?
- Need to bum
some liquor off ya.
- For her club night.
- What, they don't
have booze over there?
- She'll make more money
if she brings her own.
- All right.
Hobble this way.
[honky-tonk music playing]
♪
[women chuckling]
- Okay,
how much you need?
- More than this.
- There's gonna be at least
200 people there, babe.
- Have you ever seen
more than 20 deadbeats
In here at one time?
- What about
your liquor distributor?
Could I get
the booze from them?
- Yeah, maybe.
Walter's a cool enough guy,
for a roselli.
- What? You're dealing with
the mob? You never told me that.
- Stan burned
every bridge in town.
Walter's the only
liquor distributor
That'll do business
with us.
- How much
would the booze cost?
- For 200 people?
Top shelf? Close to 5 grand.
For well drinks,
you'd probably get away with 3.
- Would he let me set up
an account and invoice me later?
- Yeah, maybe.
He'll do a credit check, though.
- I've got perfect credit.
- No credit does not
equal perfect credit.
- Do you even have
a social security number?
- He'll want you to leave
one of the kids as collateral.
- Okay, I get it.
I'll just buy the booze
from him up front, then.
- Whose money
you gonna use?
- Douche bag.
[rock music]
♪
Uniform sales.
Bus driver.
Short order cook.
- How's it going, jim-nasium?
- Hey, what's going on?
- Can I borrow
some money from you?
- Yeah, sure, how much?
- $5,000? Pay you back
after my club night?
What?
- Yeah, kinda strapped
right now.
I got, like, uh,
300 bucks on me.
- Are those my jeans,
frank?
- Found 'em upstairs
in my room.
- It's not
your room anymore.
- You're cutting
her jeans into shorts?
- Had three pair of my own,
but somebody tossed my clothes.
- These are, like, $120.
I got 'em at goodwill
for, like, 40 bucks!
[sighs]
Can you go to the bank
and get more money?
- I don't have any.
- What about your parents?
- I haven't gotten anything
from them since I was 18.
- Really? College?
- Cars, insurance.
- Okay, I haven't gotten any
cash from them since I was 18.
- For two years you've been
offering to give me money,
And now when I ask,
you don't have any?
- I'm sorry.
- This is why I never
ask anybody for help.
I feel like a jackass now.
- Whoa, hey. Are you mad at me?
Because you get mad at me
when I offer you money,
And now you're getting mad
because I can't?
- I'll just figure it out
myself, okay?
- Okay.
- Let's go, v.
- Frank, what the hell?
I got that roast chicken
for dinner tonight!
- My house, my kitchen,
my fridge, my chicken.
I cut these too short.
My balls are hanging out.
- Yeah.
- Nice ass.
- [scoffs] thought you were
my history teacher mr. Crouch.
- Well,
sorry to disappoint.
- Hey,
how was community service?
- Yeah, good.
I met
some north side kids.
Think I can make
some dough off of them.
- Cool.
- Yeah,
gotta do what I can
With my sister stealing a bunch
of our property tax money.
- Well,
that was cunty of her.
You know, you should be in
charge of your family's money,
Not fiona.
- Mr. Gallagher,
just left mr. Healey's office.
- Rumors about you two true?
- Said you were supposed
to ask me for a recommendation.
- Sure, in his mind,
I was supposed to do that.
- A letter of recommendation
from a science teacher
Looks good
on your college applications.
- Bet it does.
- So we got 20 cases of beer,
16 cases of wine,
Got two cases
of champagne.
I got 10 liters of vodka,
six gin, four rum,
Four scotch, four bourbon,
and enough mixers and garnishes
For, like, 200 people.
Sound about right?
- Yup.
And I can return
whatever I don't use?
- Absolutely.
Let me just tally this up here
for you.
- What are you doing?
- [scoffs] ordering booze.
What's it look like?
- I hope the payment
doesn't involve my titties.
- Okay, my dear,
I got you in at $4,857,
Which includes the 10% discount
'cause you're a friend of kev's.
And I went ahead
and waived the delivery fee
'cause you're
a first-time customer.
How would you like
to pay for this?
- Check.
- Need a pen?
- Yes, please.
- Let me go check
the schedule,
See what time we'll get this
out to you, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- 'scuse me.
- Yes.
- Is there more than $17
in that account?
- By the time the check clears,
I'll have it covered.
- The guy is in the mob.
You're cutting him a check
trading on kev's good name?
- Gotta be entrepreneurial,
right?
If I don't invest in myself,
no one else ever will.
- [knocks]
- [muffled]
come in.
Oh, surprised to see you
At the college counseling
center, miss milkovich.
- Came to talk
to you about lip.
- I'm not at liberty
to discuss another student,
But I'd be more than happy
to help you
With your future options.
- [scoffs]
please.
You and I both know
my only options
Are getting pregnant
or getting arrested,
So cut the crap.
- Okay.
Then lip.
He's got a good chance
of getting out of here.
- And what are you doing
about it?
- Encouraging him
to go to college.
Doesn't seem to be
too interested.
- You're a guidance counselor.
Fucking guide him.
- There's only so much
I can do.
- What should he be doing?
- Keeping his grades up.
Getting teacher
recommendations,
Finding himself
a legitimate job,
Filling out
his college applications.
Now, you think you can help
with any of that?
- Maybe.
- All right, stop by
at the end of the day,
I'll post
some college brochures,
You can take 'em
with you.
I think you have
a better chance
Of getting through to him
than I did, lysistrata.
- What?
- Show up for english
once in a while,
And you'll get
the reference.
- All right.
Let's go, buddy.
All right.
Yeah.
- Daddy.
- No, I'm not black enough or
drunk enough to be your daddy.
Whoa!
- Mommy.
- Yeah.
- Mommy.
- You seriously gonna keep
following me everywhere I go?
- It's my job.
- Don't you ever have
to go to the bathroom?
Okay.
Okay.
There you go.
Hey, este, it's me.
- Hi.
[panting]
- Why are you
breathing so hard?
- Gym.
- You never know with you.
So beto
is sitting out front.
He follows me
wherever I go.
Your father told him
to keep an eye on me?
- Don't worry. He's harmless.
- Who?
Your father or beto?
Because neither of them
seemed harmless
When they
were dicing up marco.
- Beer.
I need beer.
- [panting]
- Just a second, frank.
- Stay out of trouble,
and you'll be fine.
- All right, listen.
I gotta go.
I gotta run some errands,
make some money for fiona.
- Look,
my dad is a hothead.
Blows off steam,
threatens lives,
And then cools down,
forgets why he was mad.
He is gemini.
He will call
beto off soon.
- Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
- Gracias.
- Hey, uh, 'scuse me.
What happened to all the meth
heads squatting in here?
- Who the hell are you?
- Concerned
neighborhood citizen.
- Took me six months
to get rid of 'em.
- Yeah, I heard there were
dead bodies in there too.
- Yeah. Four, yeah.
Coyotes got to 'em at one point.
Gonna take me eight weeks
to make it livable again.
- Hey, how much
you paying these guys?
- Too much.
- Might have
a better deal for you.
[gunshots, explosion]
- How's the pasta?
- Good.
- You're like our maid now.
- Thanks, carl.
[gunshots on tv]
[car engine revs]
- Hey, debs,
watch liam for a bit.
I gotta run an errand.
- No can do.
Baby-sitting for sheila.
- Carl.
- Can I stay up late
and watch tv?
- Absolutely.
[rock music]
♪
- I'm going to sheila's tonight,
daddy.
Baby-sitting.
- A noble job, debs.
- That stupid baby's
still crying?
- Won't stop.
- Hey,
that's my toothbrush.
- And thanks
For sharing it with me, son.
- Oh, man!
Eew!
- Now that we're a family again,
I want to encourage us to be
all for one and one for all.
- Ew, gonna have
to boil it now.
- You need the number
over at sheila's?
Where I'll be.
- No, why would I?
I'll be heading out
to the alibi soon.
- Oh, and don't worry about me
walking home late at night.
I have a pillowcase
full of bars of soap.
- Good for you.
You get along a lot better
With a weapon and a kind word
than a kind word alone.
Any of that spaghetti left?
[gunshots on tv]
- Oh, darn it.
[sizzles]
Ew.
[rock music]
♪
[gunshots on tv]
[sighs]
[drill whirring]
- What are you doing?
- Keeping frank out.
Planning to go
to carnegie mellon?
- Please.
That's for nerds and homos.
But, um, healey
thinks lip should apply.
- Fat chance.
- He's smart enough.
- Yeah, but too stupid
to do anything about it.
I already tried.
Hey, can I ask you
a question?
- Sure.
- How do you know
if a guy
You've been hanging out with
likes you?
- You like him?
- Uh-huh,
but I think he hates me.
- Ask him.
- Doesn't want
to talk about it.
- No guy ever does.
- How do I know, then?
- Does he get that look
in his eye when he's with you?
- What look?
- You'll know it
when you see it.
[hymie crying]
- Did you know that abe lincoln
lived in a one-room log cabin
When he was born, hymie,
And that his grandfather was
ambushed and killed by indians?
Some historians say that
because he was cold to women,
He might have had
homosexual tendencies.
- Debbie? Deb?
The whole point
of you baby-sitting hymie
Was to keep him quiet, so jody
and I could get some sleep.
- Sorry, sheila,
he won't stop.
[hymie crying]
- Why don't you take him
for a walk?
- Where?
- I don't care.
Just anywhere.
Just don't come back
for a few hours.
Okay?
[cell phone rings]
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, where are you?
- I am...
[clicks]
running an errand.
Where are you?
- Uh, at v's, changing.
I'm gonna run by the club,
talk to this promoter.
See if we can get
his email list
To invite more people
to my party.
- Good idea.
- You mind
watching the kids?
- Got it covered.
- Thanks. Bye.
- Bye.
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
Okay, okay, okay, I'm out.
I'm out, I'm out.
Oh.
- Why you steal porsche?
- I needed money
to help my girlfriend.
- You have a car at home.
Sell that.
- How am I
supposed to get around?
- Nando will kill us both
if you get into trouble.
- Okay, I promise
not to do it again, okay?
- You betray me.
- What are you doing?
[cracks]
ow!
Fuck me!
Holy shit!
- Clean break, I think.
Don't screw with me again.
- Fine.
Okay.
- Come on.
- Ow.
- I take you
to the hospital,
Then we go get
american whoppers, huh?
[car chirps]
- ♪ you've got it
♪ the way
you grinding up on me ♪
♪ I know,
I know you want me ♪
♪ you want me,
you want me ♪
♪ the way
you kissing up on me ♪
♪ I know,
I know you need me ♪
♪ you need me,
you need me ♪
- Hey, meg,
is wendell around?
- Uh, yeah,
right over there.
- ♪ the way
you grinding up on me ♪
- Thanks.
- I'll tell you this.
For all of their laziness
and lack of motivation,
The mexicans
are a lovely people.
- Why'd you
go down there, frank?
Hey,
I'll take another, kev.
- Sometimes a man
just has to get away,
Be alone
with his thoughts.
- Hey!
Jesus.
So what, you woke up
from a drunken stupor,
Didn't know where you were?
- I knew exactly
where I was.
Had a business opportunity
With our south-of-the-border
brothers.
What did you do to your foot?
- It fell off.
Was the only prosthetic
I could afford.
What kind
of business opportunity?
- I was hired to move
some inventory.
- Drug mule?
- Only the best
the mexicanos have ever seen.
- Not something you really want
to be bragging about, frank.
- Which end did it go in?
- Yo, frank.
Some chick's outside
with a baby looking for you.
- Oh, no.
- Who is it, frank?
- I-I-I don't know.
But does that sound like
good news to you?
I'm gonna slip out
the back.
- Sounds like you were
Slipping it out the back
in mexico, frank.
[laughter]
[baby crying]
- Shh.
Daddy.
- Wait, you're the chick
with the baby?
- Kev won't let me in
after 6:00 p.M. Anymore.
- What the hell's wrong
with liam?
- This isn't liam, it's hymie.
- Jeez.
Shut him up.
Sheila has
an oriental baby?
- I have to finish
my civil war project...
- Jesus.
- And he won't stop crying.
You were always
so good with liam.
- Give--give him--
give him to me.
Open his mouth.
- What is that?
- Valium.
- Are you supposed
to give valium to a baby?
- Oh, yeah.
It always worked with you.
- Oh.
[hymie's crying subsides]
- Voila.
- Thanks, daddy.
- Hey, loan me 20 bucks,
will ya?
- [sighs]
I only have five.
- That'll do it.
- I hate you!
[clattering]
[glass shatters]
- ♪ come, come, baby, yeah
♪ come, come,
baby, yeah ♪
♪ push my button,
make me wanna play ♪
- [chuckles]
Your friend
likes to dance.
- The tequila
likes to dance.
- Yeah.
So you think
you're gonna be able
To pull this off
tomorrow night?
- [inhales]
hope so.
- I bet you will.
Looks like you have
some real talent.
- You're not talking about my
club promoting skills, are you?
- What makes you say that?
- Your hand on my knee.
- I meant to put it
up your skirt.
- Oh.
What are
the chances of me
Getting ahold
of your email lists?
- Why would I give them
to you?
- Mm, satisfaction of knowing
you're helping a good person.
- No, I can't come
inside that.
- I could give you
a cut of my bar, then.
10%?
- You know how long it took me
to build up my list?
You honestly think I'd risk it
on you throwing some lame party
And ruining my brand
for anything less than 50%?
- Well,
that's an interesting offer.
Let me discuss it
with my partner.
- ♪ come, come, baby, yeah,
come, come, baby, yeah ♪
- He wants 50% of the bar
for his email list,
And he's
a giant douche bag.
- No worries.
I swiped his phone
from his jacket
As soon as I saw
his hand on your knee.
Has all his contacts.
Gotta be entrepreneurial,
right?
Aah!
- Aah!
- [whispering]
debbie?
- [whispering]
nighty-night, hymie.
- Oh, my goodness.
How did you do it,
debbie?
- Daddy's good
with babies.
- Frank?
- [sighs]
You just getting home?
- Oh, hey.
Still awake?
- Where have you been?
- Uh, emergency room.
Slammed it in the door.
Yeah.
- Well, you're in trouble.
You let carl stay up late
on a school night.
- Oh.
- I think you need
a spanking.
- Hmm?
- I can't do it
with your pants on, though.
- Then I
should take them off.
- Very bad boy.
- I've been
a bad, bad boy.
Bad.
- This purdue place
looks cool.
- I want mommy to show me
how bad I've been.
- There's no way
she's gonna
Make the money back
for the property tax.
- It says
they're one of the top
Engineering schools
in the country.
- I'm gonna have
to figure out a way
To make up the 1,000 bucks
she's gonna lose.
- You listening to me?
- Oh, yeah, you know,
it's kind of hard
With the, uh, porno going
on across the hall.
- Is it wrong that
it's kind of turning me on?
- Yeah, me too.
- Morning.
- Hey.
- Jimmy gonna come down
to make us breakfast?
- He's sleeping in.
Eat your cereal.
- Wore him out, huh?
- You too. Eat your cereal.
- Spoiled now.
Need an omelet.
- So, um, how's the club night
thing coming?
- Gonna be a big success.
Probably make enough money
to roll it into another one.
Take out a small loan,
really get things going.
What's wrong, debs?
- [sighs]
got home late.
Baby-sitting.
- So the ghetto girl
Thinks she can live
the american dream, huh?
- Maybe it's my time, lip.
- [chuckles]
- none of your business, mandy.
- Don't you see,
it doesn't work like that, sis.
'cause when you're poor,
only way to make money
Is to steal it
or scam it,
Like don king
or joe kennedy.
- Daddy's home!
Brought friends.
- Howdy!
- Just dump--
dump it.
- That's a new floor.
- Hey, that's my bike!
- Doesn't really work
anymore.
- Yeah, because you
bent the rim, frank.
And where's the seat?
- That's why it hurt so much
when I rode it.
Come on, fellas.
Get some brekkie,
soak up the alcohol.
- Do you have sourdough?
- Hey, this is our food!
- Don't be rude.
- Is this about money,
fiona?
Because I am happy
to pay my share.
That's all you ever want
from me anymore anyway.
There.
You happy, huh?
That's about $300 worth.
Come on, lads!
Let's go upstairs,
take a disco nap
Till the alibi's
open again.
- Dad, no, no.
- Lip, don't.
- This is my home.
You have no right
to kick me out of it.
I am an important part
of this family.
- No, you're not.
You don't live here
anymore.
- Fine.
If that's the way
you want it, I'll leave.
Phil, chester,
I'm sorry.
My family
doesn't want me here anymore.
Charge!
[overlapping chatter]
- shit!
- Jackass!
- That's it.
Let's go! Go!
- Stop it, guys!
Stop!
- Move, move.
- Just pick a bed, fellas!
Just pick a bed.
Oh, my god.
- What the hell are you doing?
- Enough.
- [shouts]
- come on, get up right now.
You cannot--
[overlapping shouting]
- Get up!
You are not sleeping here.
- No, stop!
- Come on.
Get up, get up!
[overlapping chatter]
- he's not doing anything!
- You are not going to--
Go!
- What's the matter with you?
- [gasps]
- Well, that's
a piece of shit anyway.
- [sighs]
Frank!
- Debs...
Damn it, frank,
get the fuck out!
- No, you cannot
do this to her!
Come on, get up right now.
You cannot do this.
- Get out!
- Get out!
- Jesus!
Stop!
- I treated you well!
And you--
- Ow!
- How could you do this to me?
- Stop! Stop--
- Get out of my house!
I hate you!
I don't even care!
- Jesus!
- Get out! Get out!
- Dad.
Get him out.
- Ow, god!
- Debs!
- Debs!
- [muffled crying]
Get out!
I hate you! Get--
Don't you touch me!
- [panting]
- [sobs]
- oh, my god.
- Get out!
- After everything
I have done for you,
This is the thanks
I get.
- Where should we put him?
- Where he belongs.
Open it up, carl!
- Got it.
- Whatever, you--
Jesus christ!
Not funny!
Not funny at all!
- Gonna need you to clean
the blood splatter on the walls,
Evidence marks on the floor,
and patch up the bullet holes.
That should
get you started.
Supplies are inside.
- Shit.
- You okay, buddy?
- Been trying all morning
to get tickets
To the wilco concert
at soldier field tonight.
Can't get through.
- Wilco?
Aren't they for, like, dads with
receding hairlines and shit?
- Come on, wilco is the beacon
of anti-commercialism.
- Yeah, because no one
wants to buy their whiny music,
They gotta give it away
for free.
- Shit.
- All right, here you go.
It's 50 bucks a head.
That's $400.
- Hey, hey, um,
Is there any chance I can get an
advance on the next couple days?
- Hey, slow your roll, kid.
I haven't seen
what they could do yet.
- Senor.
- Yeah?
- This man stole our jobs?
- No, no, I didn't steal them,
I just underbid you.
- But we are illegal immigrants.
- Yeah.
- How can you underbid us?
- Ghetto white's
the new brown.
- The what?
- The new brown.
- This is unfair.
- Just living
the american dream, amigo!
- Okay, let's keep eight cases
of that beer up front,
And put the rest
in the back refrigerator.
- Hello.
- People showing up
already?
[muffled pop music]
- Can I help you?
- Alderman edward gretsky,
15th ward.
- Okay.
- Throwing a party,
I see.
- Something like that.
- Just a friendly visit.
You know, make sure you filled
out all your applications.
- Applications?
- Business license, liquor
license, umbrella insurance.
- Well, I'm sure meg handled
everything that you need.
- She did.
For her business.
- What?
- Well, you're running
the show now, right?
- Well,
just for tonight.
- Then just for tonight
I'll make an exception
on the applications for...
Small filing fee.
- A filing fee?
- Let's say $1,000.
Wouldn't want
any pesky policemen or firemen
Showing up now,
would we?
♪
I'll come back later
to collect.
Let's say 2:00 a.M.
♪
- How is the pinky?
- It's doing okay.
So listen, my girlfriend's
having a party tonight.
It's important
that I go.
- Is there going to be
alcohol there?
- It's a party, it's kind of
how these things work, yeah.
- Drugs?
- Maybe.
- Bad things may happen.
- Yeah, or not.
- I go with you.
Just to make sure.
- Yeah, see, that's the thing
is that you can't go with me
Because then I'll have
to explain who you are,
How I know you,
that my life's in danger.
I mean, that won't
go over very well.
- Then you stay home.
[rock music]
♪
- Hey, sanchez.
- Aw, hell.
- Time to pay up.
- They let you out?
- Good behavior.
- I thought I had
four more months.
- Think again.
- Hey, yo,
campus security is coming.
- What the hell
are you doing?
- Didn't want you
to get busted.
- I can look after myself,
thank you.
- Does he get that look
in his eye--look in his eye--
Look in his eye
when he's with you?
- Just got outta juvie,
remember?
The fuck are you looking at?
- Nothing.
- You look great.
- Thanks, debs.
You okay with what happened
this morning? Frank?
- Jimmy's
in the bathroom puking.
- [sighs]
- [vomiting]
- [knocks]
what's going on?
- Oh, something I ate.
It's not sitting well.
[vomits]
- you need anything?
- [vomiting loudly]
No, I'm just bummed
I can't make it tonight.
I mean, I really wanted to go.
[flushes toilet]
- If you feel better later,
come on over, okay?
- Okay.
- [knocks]
- go away. We're not buying.
- [banging]
- Jeez.
I know, I know,
you want me to find jesus.
I already found him,
thanks.
- I'm looking for kev.
Kevin ball.
I'm his wife.
[mellow rock music]
♪
- Tommy!
Hey, you still got
that garage?
- Yeah, it kinda
comes with the house, frank.
- Great. What say
you let me sleep there?
- What say I don't.
- Why the hell not?
- Because the last time
You stayed at my place,
you shit in my kitchen sink.
- The layout of your home
is very confusing.
- No, frank.
No means no.
- Fuck you, tommy.
Fuck you means fuck you.
Kermit!
My best friend.
- You can't stay
with me, frank.
- Wh--what if
I suck your dick?
- Frank.
- What if you immigrate
to mexico, frank?
Reverse
the prevailing tide.
- Why are you
even here?
Should be
collecting disability.
- 'cause I didn't
injure my foot at work.
- Hey, let me crash
at your place.
I'll tell the insurance company
that you did.
- Why can't you stay
at your place, frank?
- Ungrateful little shits!
That's why.
Things I do for them.
Blood, sweat, and tears.
[phone rings]
This is not how a family
treats each other.
- Yeah.
Hang on.
It's for you. V.
- Hey, baby,
what's going on?
What?
No, yeah, okay.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Watch the bar.
- Little redheaded bitch
is the worst of 'em.
Expect it from the others,
but not from--
Not from--
from...
Her--
debbie.
Orphan annie
turned on me.
That's how I got
all these bruises.
She hit me.
With a bat.
Now, I can't touch her.
No.
That is child abuse.
I'd get reported.
Operator, can you connect me
with child welfare ser--
Services?
Yes, hello.
I would like to report, uh...
A-a negligence situation.
2119 north wallace.
Gallagher.
Six kids
living in squalor.
No parental supervision.
When the father is there,
he's drunk.
He hits them.
Not--n-not that they
don't deserve it.
They're all criminals,
delinquents, vio--what?
No, if it's all right, I would
like to remain anonymous.
No, thank you.
And god bless you.
- That is an all-time low.
Even for you, frank.
♪
- ♪ charge amex,
see, no limit ♪
♪ like you got an "a,"
score credit ♪
♪ living
that american dream ♪
♪ you could be
a celebrity ♪
♪ when you step
on the scene ♪
♪ I know
you gotta look hot ♪
♪ you and your girls
with dresses ♪
♪ turn that sound up
♪ you are
in the limelight ♪
♪ until they cut
your power out ♪
♪ shopping
like a rich girl ♪
♪ rich girl,
like a rich girl ♪
♪ shopping
like a rich girl ♪
- Hey, v, where are you?
This place is insane!
We did it!
- ♪ like a rich girl
♪ credit card,
max it out ♪
[muffled club music]
♪
- Hey, is this the club
Where wilco's gonna play
a secret concert?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's, uh,
20 bucks, self-parked.
30 valet.
- I'll park it myself.
- Cool.
Uh, just pull over
right down there.
That lovely lady
will show you to your spot.
Cool.
Have fun.
- Yo.
- Hey, lip.
- How you doing, man?
- Good.
Got your text about
the impromptu wilco concert.
Tweeted everyone I know.
- Thought you might.
Hey, hop out.
I'll have someone park your car.
- Thanks.
- Cool.
[surf rock music]
♪
- How long
we doing this for?
- Figure we park
about 30 more cars,
Make enough money to cover
the property tax,
At which time people
will probably start to realize
Wilco's not playing
at fiona's club.
Then we bolt.
- Out.
- Where am I
supposed to go?
[hymie crying]
- Just--just shake him.
[hymie crying]
- You're not supposed
to shake a baby.
- I know, but maybe
it'll make him stop crying.
- Yeah, because his brains
will get scrambled.
- They already are!
- Sheila!
- I'm just saying
maybe it'll
Scramble 'em
back together again.
- Howdy, folks.
You need help
with that baby?
- Frank?
- How'd you get in my house?
- I still have a key.
I-I-I got a proposition
for you, sheila.
- What? No!
- Frank, you have to leave.
- No, let me stay,
and I'll be your wet nurse.
I don't mean your wet nurse,
that involves breast-feeding,
But your nurse,
your baby nurse.
Room and board, you'll get
eight hours of sleep a night.
I can promise you that.
- Debbie did say
he was good with babies.
- There, you see?
My reputation precedes me.
Just give me
five minutes.
Aw, hell.
Give me 30 seconds.
If I can't put
this little tyke to sleep,
I'll--
I'll leave, pronto.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[hymie crying]
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, oh.
I got you.
Raised eight kids myself.
I know what I'm doing.
[chuckles]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here you go.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
[hymie quiets]
yeah.
- Ah.
H-how--
How did you do that,
frank?
- I think I'll take
a shower before bed.
- 75, 76, 78.
Okay.
Just over 10 grand.
- That's not bad.
- So 15% for you.
- I thought
we agreed on 20.
- Right.
$2,000.
- Thank you.
- Take mine
anytime you're ready.
Look forward to doing business
with you in the future.
- This is to cover
my booze.
And that leaves me
with 2 grand.
- Didn't forget
about us, did you?
- Of course not.
- Thanks, fiona.
- ♪ do you want
my love, boy? ♪
♪ do you want my love?
- Five, six, seven, eight...
$900?
That's all I have left?
- That's not bad
for your first gig.
- But that doesn't even
cover my deposit.
I lost $100
doing this night.
- Surprised
you didn't lose more.
It took me, like, eight gigs
before I saw a profit.
You gotta pay
your dues.
♪
- ♪ do you want my love?
[distant police sirens wail]
- Hey.
What's going on?
- Can I sleep here
tonight?
- Sure.
- How'd you do?
- It's gonna take a while
till I start making money.
Here.
Almost all of it.
I'll get the rest,
I promise.
- Ah, keep it.
- What?
- Well, if you're gonna gamble
our money,
You should hold
onto it, right?
- [scoffs] I was trying
to better our situation, lip.
- Oh, congratulations.
You risked everything,
And you didn't even
break even.
- It was my first time
doing this.
- That's not the point.
You made a decision without
consulting the rest of us.
- I'm in charge of this family.
- Really?
No, sorry, that's--
that's news to me.
You see, fiona, if we're gonna
be every man for himself,
This family
is going under fast.
- Here,
just take the money, okay?
Pay the property tax. I'll get
the rest tomorrow somehow.
- No, I don't need it.
- What?
- I took care
of the situation myself.
- [scoffs]
how?
- Told a bunch
of north side kids
That wilco was playing
at your party.
It's like I said.
The only way to make money
when you're poor
Is to steal it
or scam it.
But hey, um, let me know if
the rules are changing, right,
And you're gonna pull
this shit again?
Maybe I'll have to take
over the family money, huh?
[rock music]
♪
- [snoring]
- Are we sure
about this?
- He raised
six great kids.
Look at him.
He's like
the baby whisperer.
♪