Shameless (2011–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Summer Loving - full transcript

♪ think of all the luck you got ♪

♪ know that it's not
for naught ♪

♪ you were beaming once before ♪

♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ what is this downside ♪

♪ that you speak of? ♪

♪ what is this feeling ♪

♪ you're so sure of? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ round up the friends you got ♪

♪ know that they're not
for naught ♪

♪ you were willing once before ♪

♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ what is this downside ♪

♪ that you speak of? ♪

♪ what is this feeling ♪

♪ you're so... ♪

♪ sure of? ♪

199, 200, 201,

202, 203.

Hi, Manny!

Hi, Therese.

Frank...!

Wake up!

Frank, come on, I have
something wonderful

to tell you.

Hurry, I've had an epiphany!

Frank...

...Do you know
what this is?

Eggplant?

Liberation.

No, no, no.

Rebirth.

Not with all
the king's vaseline.

Freedom!

That won't fit.
Frank...

Fuck you, Gallagher.

I made it all the way

to Manny's produce truck
today-- 214 steps.

I went to just do my extra
ten steps, and then I saw

the eggplant
and the rows of beets

and the organic squash,

and I just kept going.

Manny's pushing organic now?

This is just the start.

The scourge of gentrification.

Next he'll be Hawking
that coffee grown in cat shit.

Frank,

I am shopping,

I am part of the economy,

I am myself again.

Here we go.

Today...

A grocery truck,
tomorrow the world.

- It's over.
- I always thought agoraphobia

was permanent,
like autism or aids.

She'll be out in the world,
she'll go back to work,

she'll learn the truth.

That you're a raging alcoholic?

Who owes money to everyone?

Who's had sex
with her daughter?

It's not sex if you
can't remember it.

Well, then you're a virgin, Frank.

Gonna be out on my butt
in weeks.

Why don't you just live at your
real home with your real family?

I don't like them
and they don't like me.

Frank squatted at my
place for six months.

Finally bought tear gas,

- smoked him out.
- I gave myself crabs

to get him out of my place.

It wasn't the crabs,

it was your empty fridge.

Laugh, laugh.

If laughing at me is good

for your self-worth, laugh on.

My gift.

Kevin. Yo, Antoine.

Hurt me with some rum.

Delivering meals
on drunk wheels again?

Only one delivery left.

Go do it and come back.

My last delivery
is to Dottie Coronis.

I can walk there from here.

What's wrong with butterface?
Don't call her that.

I haven't seen her in a while.

W-why's she pretending
to be sick?

She's hiding her face from
children till Halloween.

God gave her one hell

of a rack and legs
to die for, though.

But her face!

You're all going to hell.

What's wrong with butterface?

She had chronic indigestion.

From her steady diet
of bourbon and dick.

She got it checked,

discovered she had a
bunch of heart attacks.

Her heart muscle is toast.

Months to live
unless she gets a new one.

Shit.

All those years of paying
into a city pension

and no one left to collect.

♪ Why don't you come over,
why don't you come over? ♪

♪ why don't you come over
and pick me up? ♪

♪ hey... ♪

♪ what do you say? ♪

♪ come on over
and take me away ♪

♪ why don't you come over ♪

♪ and pick me up? ♪

Liam, if you want a popsicle,

show me your hands.

Liam, hands off your package
or no treat.

Touching it is his treat.

I need my own room
without Liam.

I'm late for work.

Carl, quit it.
I can't share a room

with someone in a
constant state of arousal.

I'm going to be a woman soon.

Hey, enough.

Frank's been gone for months.

You move into Frank's room,

Lip takes yours, Ian and
Carl share with Liam.

Frank will be back.

In bed by midnight--
No exceptions.

Here he comes.
You know, you didn't have to come with me.

Bad neighborhood.
We live in a bad neighborhood.

Yeah, but we're related to the bad
people in our bad neighborhood.

The hell's he doing here?

Hey, Mick.

He thought I needed protection.

Oh, yeah?
Trust me, you may think

you know my sister,
but you don't know my sister

until you've fought my sister.

She's protecting your ass.
You smell like barbecue sauce.

Smell like what?
Oh, ow!

What did dad tell you?
Ow! Fuck the police?

No titty twisters now
that I'm a C cup. Ow.

C cup?
Bitch, you wish.

Hey,

fuck you, fuck you,
and especially fuck you.

All right, Jesus,
let's get out of here

before they throw you back in.

Who the hell is it?

It's Frank Gallagher, Dottie.

Get off my property.

I brought your pasta primavera.

Eat shit, Frank.

Well, I-I would,
but I recently went vegan.

Honestly, Dottie, Antoine
told us your news.

I've had some health
setbacks myself.

Wanted to tell you the crew
at the bar's thinking of you.

Thought I'd bring your dinner
over and tell you in person.

No lasagna left?

I grabbed the last one he had.

Enjoying your night?

I'm watching one of those

fat-people-hate-themselves-
for-being-fat shows.

Makes me feel healthy.

I love that show.

I hate fat people.

Did you hear a beep?

Oh, guy locking his car.

Look, I'm missing my show.

Mind if I join you?

I haven't showered
and I'm not gonna.

Makes two of us.

And it's not
an invitation to stay.

Couch, fat people show, leave.

I'm not a bed and breakfast.

Roger that.

There you go.

♪ No, you can't tell me ♪

♪ what I like ♪
♪ what I like ♪

♪ I ain't
no typical stereotype ♪

♪ no ♪

♪ I've got a fashion
that you want a piece of ♪

♪ oh, yeah ♪
♪ so full of
passion and so full of love ♪

♪ love, love ♪

♪ this is the high life,
this is the fame ♪

♪ I'll make you want a piece
of me again and again... ♪

I love that last song.

♪ That makes you look at me
twice ♪
♪ twice ♪

♪ I could be bad,
but I could also be nice ♪

♪ oh, yeah ♪

♪ this is the high life,
this is the fame... ♪

Okay, either
he doesn't have a dick

or the dick he does have
does not function.

Or maybe the five girls a night

who give him their number

give him more
than their number,

and the man is just tired.

Desperate whore-wife is
back with sugar grampy.

Can you say that again
with some head bobbing

and that finger snapping thing?

She's a married mother

publicly flaunting the geriatric
she's sleeping with.

He's 50.
He looks it.

And he's rich,

so work that cleavage
and smile.

Hey, Veronica!

Hey, baby.
Hi, David.

Hello, David.

Looking sharp.
Jazz says

I'm springing for Cristal,

or I'm going home alone.

Oh, we don't want you
to be lonely tonight, do we, V?

Handsome man like this, no, ma'am.
Ah, yes.

♪ I'll make you want a piece
of me again and again... ♪

Hot as balls tonight.

So, I'm taking geometry, algebra
two, trigonometry, chemistry.

During the summer?

Well, I'm trying to
get into west point.

If you want the army
to give you a fucking gun,

all you got to do is enlist.

Recruiting station's,
like, two blocks that way.

I want to be an officer.

Want to be an officer, huh?

Don't officers get shot first?

Here.

Shotgun.

Oh.

So you make a lot of
friends on the inside?

You want to chitchat
more, or you want to get on me?

Plasma?
Led. Shh.

I never feared
taking my shirt off at the beach.

But then I saw this footage
my daughter shot of me...

Nice picture.

...And I just broke down.
Vibrant.

Can I watch my program, please?

How did I become so disgusting?

And sit in the chair.

I don't want you
stretching out on the couch

and rip van winkling it
for the next five years.

Did you hear a beep?

Smoke alarm battery is dying.

If they find a heart,

they're supposed
to beep me on this thing.

It means I go straight
to the hospital.

They got to find different
sounds for different things.

Everything beeps.

Smoke alarms, hearing aids,
microwaves, cell phones.

I'm gonna have a heart attack
waiting for my heart transplant.

You got a nine-volt battery?

I can change that for you.

In the junk drawer
under the microwave.

...But then I would gorge
and binge, yet not purge.

I didn't have a disorder.

I just had a disgusting habit
of eat, eat, eat, eat, eat.

Frank?

Antoine.

I borrowed your keys

so I could help.

I went to white castle
and bought her this.

I thought she'd be
starving by now.

She's not. Thank you.

Well, wait, Frank...

Frank?

♪ ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ uh-huh,
uh-huh ♪

♪ I need a man, a fucking man ♪

♪ ♪

Sorry, two mudslides and a
line of blow, I get grabby.

David's doing a rail in the
men's room. You want some?

Can't.
Can.

You got to slow down
on the work

and enjoy the summer!

I'll keep that in mind when
I'm feeding my family dog food

in January.

David's friend Richard's
coming to town tomorrow.

Meet him! We'll make them
take us out on the town.

Instead of worrying
about making money,

we'll be spending theirs.
Not into married guys.

I never said he was married.
Meet him!

Before you know it,
your shit will start sagging,

leg veins will pop up,
and you won't be able to screw

without handfuls of astroglide.

I'm 21.
It doesn't make you a kept woman.

It makes you a smart one.

Who wants to move this party

back to my
pied-à-terre?

Me! You! Fiona?

Uh, another time.

You asked about Richard?

She's thinking about it.

Come on, I need an accomplice.

Plus, when I tell hal

we're going out for a girl's
night, I won't be lying.

Bye.

Liam!

Always wanted to do that here!

Get back at that little league
commissioner

who kicked me off my baseball
team for pissing on first base.

I remember.

You heard about that?

I was playing second.

Fucking tough guy, huh?

Mm.

Not much to do
in the joint but work out.

You could read.

Fuck off.
Fucked for life anyway, man.

Want to sneak into the
Sox game tomorrow?

Nah, man.
I got to get me a job.

If I don't get one
in two weeks,

my probation skank's
gonna do it for me,

and I'm gonna end up
losing a fucking limb

at the meat packing plant.

Maybe she'll find
you something better.

She ain't gonna find fuck all.

My dad even had
to threaten this mook he knows

from high school
to get me a job tarring roofs.

Maybe you could head
down to Malcolm X.

You know, take some
vocational training.

Why the fuck are we talking

about community college
right now?

Jesus Christ, you want us
to spread a blanket out

and look
for shooting stars next?

I could talk to Linda.

I'm sorry. You want me to work
at the place I got shot?

Redemption tale.

What would I be doing?
Helping.

I ain't cleaning up
after people.

It's a pretty clean
store, Mickey.

What about security?

You know, scaring people like me
who come into the store

trying to steal shit?

Stealing's been down
since your shooting.

Hey, do whatever you want, man.

You brought it up.

All right.

You ready to go again, or you,
uh, need some time, fire crotch?

Okay.

How's Jody?

He's good.

As good as me?

We're still not having sex.

Right, 'cause his name's Jody.

Is that a, uh, real name
or a nickname?

You know, isn't it kind of

creepy that a guy
who's twice your age

keeps hanging around you,

but hasn't tried
to get in your pants yet?

You two getting serious?

Stop talking about my boyfriend
and fuck me.

Smoke alarm working,
fan back up to speed.

What now?

I could give you some rope
to hang yourself from it,

or you could just leave.

How's your daughter? Same.

Any complications
from that skin graft?

Haven't talked since
she moved to Sweden.

What the hell's
she doing in Sweden?

Avoiding me.

I'm off to bed.

Bed?! It's 11:00!

You used to close
the alibi every night.

Used to do lots of things.

Anything else I can do for you?

What's the deal, Frank?

What, did Sheila Jackson
finally throw you out?

Just offering my services.

Stocking up on your
corporal works of mercy?

One friend helping out another.

The upstairs bathroom's
clogged pretty bad.

I could lie and say it was roots
growing in the pipes,

but it's all me, and a half
dozen of those adult wipes.

I never used those wipes myself.

Thought they were
an extravagance.

Little did I know
how nice it feels

to Polish things up down there.

Let yourself out.

There's nothing worth
stealing you can carry.

Mother of God!

Jesus.

Shit!

Oh, shit!

Want to go to a rave
up in lake forest this weekend?

If I hated myself.

Jody knows a guy,
Henry Woodhouse,

who can send out
a tweet and get

over a thousand people to show
anywhere in less than two hours.

It's like a flash mob,
but more fun.

Excepting the fact that
it's in lake forest

and lake forest kids are there.

You want to do something
tomorrow night?

Probably watching
Wipeout with Jody.

He loves that show.

People running around,
wiping out.

"Big Balls!"
It's hilarious.

We make popcorn and laugh.
Yeah,

it sounds like a
crazy summer night.

We're keeping each other company
trying to avoid familiar patterns.

Mm-hmm. And, um...

How do you characterize this?

Helps me sleep.

Text me when he
leaves, all right?

You sleeping here now?

Uh, no, just leaving, actually.

Good to see you, son.

GFY, dad.

Shit.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Wha...!

Who the hell are you?!

I rent room.

Frank give me key.

Have baby.

Got time for my legs?
I got to drive old people

around the city all day--
Too hot out for stubbly legs.

Old people excursion day? Yay!

Do me a favor and kill me

if I start losing my mind when I'm old.
Will do.

In my community,

if one of the elders
felt that they were

too much of a burden,
they would wander out

into the snow and give
themselves to the elements.

You come from twisted stock.

All righty, I'm all lathered.

Have at it.

You know, this Jody douche

has hair that's
longer than Fiona's.

And he has a motorcycle
with a luggage compartment.

Yeah. Test me on
the theorems.

If A equals B,
then b equals a...

Symmetric.
You might as well

get a windshield
and call it a car.

A equals A.

Reflexive.

Maybe it's just a phase.

You know, she hasn't
even slept with him yet.

What's next?

Maybe he's a eunuch.

Maybe she just likes him.

Lip, why are you sleeping in my bed?
Ask her.

I moved Liam.
I can't be in the same room

where Liam is
constantly masturbating.

It's not masturbating

if nothing comes out.

According to whom?

My friend Jack O'Donnell.

Not true.

It's kind of true.

Not legally true.

Liam can be arrested

for masturbating?
No. Listen up.

What is the demarcation age

where it's officially
inappropriate

to arouse yourself
in front of others,

even if nothing comes out?

Two years old.

Hey, Gallaghers!

I need focus

and cooperation.

Okay, unfortunately Frank
has rented out his room

to a pregnant woman.

I already told them.

You let her in last night?

She let herself in.

She has a key.

Besides, she's from China.

They kill extra babies there.

Liam needs
to go back in with you.

No!
Debbie.

What's done is done!

Okay.

For now, Liam's in
the boys' room with the boys.

What?
Four guys in one room?

Isn't that a health code violation?
I'll find Frank

and figure this out, but
until then, four in the room.

Five hundred.

Five hun...

Frank...

Frank...

It's 500 more steps.

500 more steps,

sweetie!

And I get to the "L."

Honey.

And I can maybe get my job back

at St. Stephen's cafeteria,

sweetie, and go off disability.

Frank!

Isn't that exciting?

Do you want to walk
with me today?

Got to work.

Those are Eddie's tools.

Yes, they are.

Hello?

Oh. Oh, hi, Fiona.
He's right here.

It's Fiona.

What now?

Somebody just dropped
off $200 for you.

Said he owed you, and thanks.
Who?

- Unshaven, flannel shirt.
- What happened?

Cauliflower ear.
Tommy Armada?

I'm leaving $50 for
you on the mantel,

but I'm buying groceries
with the rest.

That is my money, Fiona!

Bravo.
Give 'em hell, sis.

We're off to work.

Sheila, when I'm talking on
the phone, I can only talk

to one person at a time.

We've talked about this.
I know we did.

Whispering doesn't help.

The rush is starting!

♪ ♪

Ever eat a dog?

Where Frank?

Chocolate-covered sparrow?

♪ ♪

Where's the money?

Ask Kung Fu Panda.

You tricked me?
You gave somebody

a key to our house?

Are we gonna get bird flu?
No!

Go watch the kids, please. I.N.S.
raided her maternity hideout.

I was clearing my stomach
outside the alibi.

I found her

huddled by the dumpster.

So you dumped her on us.

We're giving her a home till
the baby is born an American.

How much she paying you?
Democracy is built

one baby at a time.
I'm calling the I.N.S. right now.

Give me what's left
of the money.

This is a human rights issue!

Chicago. Immigration and
nationalization service, please.

Naturalization.

Naturalization.

90 bucks a week.

For bed, rice and... tea.

You know, historically,
if I double your lie

I get the truth.

So she's already
given you $180?

A little over $200.

Why always the deception
stutter-step before the truth?

Because it extends our
quality father-daughter time.

Give me what's left.

Let immigration do its job.
You spent all of it?

Wrong. Wrong.

Seventeen dollars?

And change.

Please just go. Just leave
and go do whatever it is

that you do that doesn't
require you being here.

People are in and out of here like
it's a Guatemalan whorehouse.

I didn't think you'd notice.

I notice that you're here.

And the only reason why is
that you thought money came in.

Do you know what goes on around
here when you're not here? Life.

Huan Ying.

You can stay until
the baby's born,

but you're helping
with the day care.

Get in the kitchen
and start filling sippy cups.

No English.

Start filling cups
with apple juice,

or I'll have you and your
commie fetus deported

faster than you
can say "Saigon."

Okay, guys, I'm going
upstairs to my office.

Debs and Ethel are in charge.

Keep away from the pool,
or you'll drown.

Any spare rooms at Sheila's? No.

We gonna have a brother
that looks like jet li?

I didn't knock that woman up.

I am giving her sanctuary
in a hostile country.

Your sister doesn't get that.

And I don't like the way she
talks to me in my own home.

You just got to laugh it off.

I don't need platitudes
from an eight-year-old.

I'm ten. Well, if you
want to make it to 11,

don't tell me what
to find funny!

And every day
you wake up breathing

you should be coloring me
a thank-you note of gratitude

that the half of you
that came from me

wasn't spooged
on your mother's neck,

but instead was guided
by yours truly

to get up inside of her
to start the life of you.

So walk and talk
with gratitude, son.

I was just kidding.

Funny, huh?
Laugh it off.

♪ ♪

15 minutes, Joe.

It's excursion day!

15 minutes!

Van leaves in 15!

Excursion day!

15 minutes!

Excursion day!
Excursion day!

15 minutes...

Whoa!

A little heads-up, guys.

15 minutes, miss clare.
Where are we going?

Some driving, some
appointments, some shopping.

Oh, thrill a minute.
I don't make the schedule, clare,

I just drive the van.

15 minutes.

Yoo-hoo.

You look ridiculous.

Thought I'd bring my tools by--
Last-minute tweaks.

You're tweaking my nap time.

Come back in two hours.

I'm headed to the store--
You got a grocery list?

I'm all set.

How about some ice cream?

Snacks?

What's the deal, Frank?

The new me, Dottie.

Just trying to help out,
change my course, make amends.

You in aa now?

Oh, God, no.

But I like everything about aa.

Except the "no alcohol" part.

Thanks for fixing my toilet.

Sure I can't get you some pop?

Frank,

my heart muscles are
decomposing as we speak.

You want to pump up
my triglycerides?

All right. All right.

I could use some cool Ranch
Doritos and some Zantac.

Like whiskey and a chaser, eh?

♪ ♪

Get your change purses out.

Dollar tree!

So, I'm bringing your drawings
to the old folks tonight.

They loved your ones
from last week.

But this week's assignment
is anything other than rainbows.

They're sick of rainbows.

And when they
get sick, they die.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, Ian,
bring me up a cheese sandwich.

Cheddar with a lot of mustard.
You got it.

And tell Mickey that one pack
of gum goes missing, he's gone.

Oh, and tell your good humor
buddies that I'm keeping tabs on

how many cases they're moving,
so don't get cute.

I know my inventory.

All right, we're taking
six cases of beer, Linda.

You two can put that back,

or I can crack your skulls
on the pavement.

Can you and, uh,
sergeant slaughter

over here help me out
with some cases of pop?

Yep.

Hey, you want me to get
you some blow? Uppers?

Downers?
Special k?

Uh, you know, thanks, Mickey,

but, um, we're keeping it
pretty old school--

You know, beer,
joints, cigarettes,

that kind of thing.
No one under 14.

That's giving up a big market.

Keeps my conscience clean.

Hey, Ian, can you
have Linda order

some more of those rocket pops?

They're moving well.

And, um, keep it up with those
geometry theorems, all right?

We'll hit 'em tomorrow.
Will do.

Geometry theorems?

For the army?

Artilleries, mortars,
bomb trajectories.

It's all geometry.

I mean, it's confusing
at first, but...

Put in enough hours, you study
hard, you can learn anything.

So not true.

Sometimes effort does not

enhance ability.

Study if you must,

but if it don't stick, move on,

focus on something
you're good at.

Put this on Dottie
Coronis's account.

We don't have accounts, Frank.

I'm just the errand boy--
Gave my last cash to Fiona.

Dottie's dying-- You
know where her house is.

$19.06.

She's in trouble.
She's gonna die next week.

When that happens, take
it out of her estate.

Hey, Frank.

Why don't you check
your pockets again.

Maybe you overlooked something.

You work here now?

Trial basis.

You know what, Mick?

You may... be...

Look at that.

That should cover it.

Hey, have a great sabbatical

from your incarceration.

That the kind of leadership you
plan on bringing to the army?

Said last night's bottom.

Whatever. Liking what I like
don't make me a bitch.

Can you turn on the AC, please?

It's on full-blast, hon.

I'm chilly.

CVS! I've got coupon packets.

Who needs one?

Clare?

Oh, chock-full
of paper towels, thanks.

Why'd you even
come on this excursion

if you don't want to do
any of the things we're doing?

Well, beats watching Judge Judy

and waiting for my brain
to collapse in on itself.

Shot of maker's mark, Kate.

You and I had

a good thing once, didn't we?

We did not.

I always liked you.

You were fun.

What happened?

I stopped drinking.

Why?

I kept waking up next to you.

Better hit me again.

Antoine told us what you did.

I brought a hungry,

sick friend her dinner.

It is amazing how low
you're willing to go.

Did you lecture Antoine
about getting loaded

while Dottie starved
herself waiting for him?

You actually went over there?

Feed the hungry,
tend to the sick.

I'm walking the walk.

She's gonna die soon.
Wh-what are you after?

Her home? Her pension?

I may love her.

I don't know.

Time will tell.

"And so the pizza decides
to go look for his friends.

The end."

Who wants a bonus story?

Me!

This is called
"Fiona's thoughts,

sophomore year 2006."

"Flirted with
Craig Heisner today."

His ass looked great
in his jeans.

I bet he could really
pick me up and throw me around.

I thought about him doing me
the rest of the day.

Craig Heisner,

Craig Heisner, Craig Heisner.

Part of me wishes
I saved my virginity

"so Craig Heisner
could be the one..."

Story time's over, kids.

Who wants to go outside
and blow bubbles?

Me! Okay!

You still want to blow Craig Heisner?
Where'd you get this?

Under the stairs.

Why is your mattress down here?

Need a place to sleep.

You have a place to sleep.

Take it back upstairs.

And when you find something

that isn't yours,
keep it that way.

Carl. Where
are you goin'?

Got some hard candies.

Some lemon
and-and some cherry...

My bag is
almost full, Veronica.

Good, Denise.
Did you get some good stuff?

No. My pee bag.

Yeah, okay. I'll change it out
at the next stop.

Can't you take us to the movies

or bowling or...
An Indian casino?

Foot clinic!

Who needs help walking in?

♪ ♪

I know you were
just trying to be funny,

but privacy's important.

What are you doing?

I need my own room, too.

Privacy's important.

Tell you what.

How about we spruce up
the van for you

for a week or two?

Like camping?
Without a tent.

Awesome!

Veronica,

please, couldn't we walk
around the park?

They only pay me
to be upbeat and on time.

We're stopped in traffic.

Let us touch some grass

before we drop dead.

But they put out cookies

at 4:00 back
at the home.

I will buy you
a case of cookies, Denise!

So now I'm the jerk.

Oh, just for once
let us go off schedule

and excursion somewhere
worth excursioning to.

It is a great day for a walk.

We could make snow angels! Sure!

Ten minutes.

Thank you.

God loves you.

Yeah, if that were true,

he'd have made me
white and rich.

♪ ♪

They were out
of the cool ranch.

I think it's the heat.

People will go anywhere

for relief, huh?

"Refrigerator vents need
dusting and vacuuming."

Clean gutters.
Remove hornet's nest in garage.

Scrape windows
and repaint them.

Remove wallpaper."
Big list.

You can always just leave.

No, no.

It's always good
to have some tasks.

I brought you some bubble bath.

I know the upstairs bathroom was
out of commission for a while,

and a nice bath might be,
you know, very relaxing.

Frank.

It's a bit early, isn't it?

Nobody ever asks me to go to bed
before 2:30 in the morning.

Dottie.

I know everyone
calls me butterface.

Nothing I can do about it.

Not now, anyway.

Let me draw you a bath.

You're not getting in with me.

How is it that you and I both
spent so much time at the alibi,

but we never hooked up?

Only good thing about
being a female butterface

is I actually get better looking
to men as the night goes on.

Whereas you...

Whereas I what?

W-wait.

Am I the male butterface?

Yay, Harry! Yay!

Go, Harry, go!

Yay, Harry!

That Harry still has it, eh?

Oh, I like Harry.

I like Bruce, too.

Mm-hmm.

And Tony.

There you go.
Thank you.

We are crushing it.

Nothing pays like hipsters,
minors and the elderly.

V, you got to start bringing
those geezers around every day.

They love their sugar.

Shit. Denise needs
her insulin shot.

Love you.

Love you.

Bye, Lip.
Bye-bye.

What you got?

About 50.

Hey, um...

If a chick, you know, she's
taking it slow with a guy,

not sleeping with him, what
do you think that means?

Means you're not getting laid.

All right, Timmy, look,

this is your third one.

That's it for today, okay?

Don't come back
unless it's to buy pot.

Got to watch out for the chicks
that don't sleep with you, man.

You know what it means?

Means they like you.

Like, like you, like you.

Like, love you, like you.

And they keep, you know,

holding back because
they're so into you.

But they're also waiting
for you to finally grasp

how awesome they are
so when you do end up having sex

for the first time, you're, you
know, making love or some shit.

Oh, and the experience--

It's because, you know,
you've been waiting so long

for a little action, that when
you do have sex, it's some

otherworldly connected thing,
which makes you think

that you can be in a long haul
kind of commitment.

Two buds and a spliff, please.

How old are you?
Fifteen.

Here's four fives.
Keep the change.

Raise your arms.

Come back when you grow
some hair in your pits.

I shave.

Get out of here!

Chicks that hang out with you
and don't sleep with you,

run the other way dude.

'Cause she's ready to stop
playing and settle down.

All right, everyone,
party time is over!

Let's go!

Let's go, let's go!

Come on, miss clare!

Come on, clare.

I got you.

Wasn't that fun?

Harry, come on!

I knocked in two runs.

You were sensational, Tony.

Harry.

I'm hurrying.

Veronica, thank you.

You're welcome.

How about next week, we, uh,

we go on one of those
booze cruise things.

Uh, on the lake at sunset.

That costs money, clare.

Money most people here
don't have.

Harry?

Call 911.

Frank.

Roger that.

♪ River may come ♪

♪ please don't take me away ♪

♪ it's here on the earth
I want to stay ♪

Veronica?

Debbie?

I brought some artwork
from the kids

for ginger and Harry.

Did she...

My grandson Paul has died.

It's, uh, it's Harry, Debs.

♪ River may come ♪

Veronica.

Sell this for me.

And then I'm taking everyone
to the Indian casino.

Ooh, thank you.

Mm-hmm.

You went to high school
with this Craig Heisner?

He's hot.
You should poke him.

Fuck Facebook.

I'll poke him for you,
if you want.

What are you doing?

Sending him a message.

Don't!

Did. Sent him your number.

What's the opposite
of "thank you"?

Hey, guys!
Hey.

I can get laid on my own.
He's cute, huh?

Richard, hi!

Hey. Good to see you.
You, too.

Fiona, this is Richard,
who you wanted to meet.

Hi, Richard.

Hi.

Shall we begin with
some appletinis?

I'll put the order in right now.

Want to watch the lotto numbers?

That's enough
of a visit for today.

Finish the list tomorrow.

Wait.

I want you.

Frank.

How is it
that I never had this?

Stop.

Two drunken ships passing
in a harbor swill hole.

We'll make up for lost time.

Frank, I can't have sex.

Okay?

I'm not thrilled about it.

The one thing I'm good at,
I can't do.

We'll go slowly.

Oh, I don't know slow.

I'll teach you.

Frank!

I haven't exactly lived
a life of restraint.

I can't push it while
I'm waiting for my transplant.

If my bp goes above 120/80,

my heart explodes.

Don't you get it?

If we fuck, I die.

♪ Licky like a rock star ♪

♪ lick here ♪

Hey, Gary.

See you tomorrow.
Thanks.

You had no interest in my
showing up tonight, did you?

What'd she tell you?

Uh, that you, uh, saw a photo
and couldn't wait to meet me.

I saw no photo.

She has no photo.

So, why'd you come?

Well, my company does about

$250 million worth of business
with David's company.

And he's fond of Jasmine.

I didn't want to be the one
to upset the concubine.

So how much longer do you think
we need to keep talking

to each other to make it seem
like we really gave it a shot?

I don't know, two or
three more minutes.

Tops.

You want to see a
photo of me now?

I'm good.

Fully decent.

It's me in grade school,
after I lost my first tooth.

That style is coming back.

Did it ever arrive?

With the Iroquois.

And, uh, punk rock.

So, how does this
arrangement work?

I dress pretty,
hang on your arm,

we have sex
a couple times a month,

then you give me credit cards

to buy shit that I like
but don't need?

I have no idea.

I'm just here
'cause I was invited.

I don't make it a habit of

hanging around women
that don't have

any interest in being with me.

You think you always know?

Well, how does
anybody know anything?

I mean, if I'm not laughing
and the woman's not laughing,

that's a good sign
that it's not working.

But if we're both smiling?

There are worse ways
to spend an evening.

You're not married?

What do you got
against married guys?

I'm not into liars.

Well, they're not lying to you.

Night, Richard.

You should go get that Mohawk.

Could restart the trend.

Nice to meet you, Fiona.

♪ ♪

♪ come on, baby,
it's time I let you know ♪

♪ those tender lips,
I can't help but love you so ♪

♪ so, come on, girl, I think
we should take a chance ♪

♪ I think it just might be
the world's greatest romance ♪

♪ I want to break
your loneliness ♪

♪ I want to
break your loneliness ♪

♪ I want to break
your loneliness ♪

♪ I want to
break your loneliness ♪

♪ it's been so long,
but now the time is right ♪

♪ let's take this passion
deep into the night ♪

♪ ...is what I know ♪

♪ the feelings deep inside
will only grow ♪

♪ I want to break
your loneliness ♪

Fuck!