Shameless (2011–…): Season 11, Episode 6 - Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good... Eh, Screw It - full transcript

[Veronica and Kev moaning]

[Veronica giggles]

Oh, sh--oh, hey.

-Uh, V.
-[Veronica] Yeah?

V.

Did you know they were coming?

No!
Hell no!

'Scuse me.
Can I help you?

Oh, sure, this is
what you're here for?

Okay, here's what happened
last week on Shameless.

Married people you know
with kids

can still have fantastic sex.

[laughs]
Huh?

Our community
has been infiltrated

by undesirables.

[Kev] The Milkoviches.

-[yelling]
-[Liam] We have to move

away from the racists.

Whoa.

It's a good training wheel gun.

Point and shoot,
just like Call of Duty.

And it's okay
if you shoot a Milkovich.

No one cares.

[Milton]
You know how it is these days.

You gotta scrape together
whatever you can, man.

That doesn't mean
you can kick people

out of their fucking houses.

Are we in a relationship?

[Royal] Sandy!

-Who's that?
-[Royal] Sandy!

[sighs]
It's my fucking husband.

-I know you're in there!
-Your what?

Not today, rednecks!

[gunshot]

[groans]
Oh...

[bullet squelches]

rock music

I am poor, unemployed,
and pretty soon,

I'm gonna be homeless.

You know, in the old days,
I'd be at BornFree right now,

stealing everything in sight.

You still got the keys?

Yeah.

rock music

Think of all
the luck you got

Know that
it's not for naught

You were beaming
once before

But it's not like that
anymore

What is this downside

That you speak of?

What is this feeling

You're so sure of?

Round up
the friends you got

Know that
they're not for naught

You were willing
once before

But it's not like that
anymore

What is this downside

That you speak of?

What is this feeling

You're so sure of?

rock music

-[sharp bang]
-Shh!

[Mickey] Fuck!

Darker than Satan's asshole
in here.

We been down
this road before

I already know
what you got in store...

All right, I'ma hit parts.

Mick, grab some bikes,
and, uh, Brad, office.

Lookin' for a place
to live

Wait, why are you using
real names?

[Lip] Hey, relax,
we're gonna take

the security camera.

And what-what if
they bugged the place?

Hey, Mission Impossible,
less talking, more stealing.

Don't want your money

Ain't nothin' there

What the fuck is this shit?

Now we're standing
face-to-face

Gonna run you right off
outta this place

Ooh, ooh, it's a race

Hey, hey, three grand
in the safe.

Keep it up,
gonna match your pace...

Yo, hey, hey.

Fuck that one.
It's a piece of shit.

Grab some chrome pipes
and carburetors, parts room.

Shit feels expensive.
It's heavy.

Now's your opportunity

To take what you want
and take what you need

[Lip] Hey, what the fuck
you doing?

Making it look
like Mexicans broke in.

Keep it up,
gonna match your pace

[door whirring]

Yeah it's a race

[Brad]
Fucking freezing in here.

Why'd you get
a refrigerated truck?

'Cause, Brad, there's not
a lot of options last-minute.

[Mickey]
Where we fencing this shit?

I don't know.
Out of state, probably.

Wait, you haven't lined up
a fence yet?

No.

Great fucking plan, Lip.

Which one of you geniuses
came up with it?

Well, it was a group effort:
me, Brad, couple of six-packs.

Couple of s--

You off the wagon again?

Yeah, just one night.

"Just one night"--isn't that
what every alcoholic says?

Ooh, baby, do you know
what that's worth...

[Frank] Monica!
Oh, Monica!

[groans]

-[Monica groaning]
-Hop the fuck up, Monny.

You are still the best
I've ever had.

[both groaning]

-Monica!
-Ah!

[Monica giggling]

-Oh, Monica.
-[Monica sighs]

[Monica] Ah...

Do you know what
that's worth?

Ooh, heaven is a place
on Earth...

[Monica breathing hard,
sighing]

[Monica] Shit.

[Frank] Sorry I can't...stay
for another round there,

Monny.

Uh...

I gotta get to work.

Ah.

Hey!

You wanna meet
at The Alibi a little bit later

for, uh, happy hour?
Ha.

[Monica] Sure.
Where do you work?

Uh...

Oh.
[laughs]

I didn't mean to pry, honey.

I'll see you later.

Oh, and, uh,

Frank, honey,

when we're not having sex,

could you use my real name?

Letty?

What?
Uh...

Like, I'm cool with "Monica"
in bed if that's your kink,

but when we're just
hanging out,

it doesn't feel right.

Just...
call me by my name, okay?

tranquil choral music

[voice] speaking Italian

Um, "bor...jurno"?

Can I speak
to Pope Francis, please?

[voice] speaking Italian

What's the penance

for accidentally shooting
someone...

if they're alive
but paralyzed?

[voice] Who is this?

rock music

Ooh, ooh

Ooh

Here we go again...

-[Tami] Ooh.
-[Lip] Hey.

Eggs, bacon, and pancakes.

You fuck someone?

What? No.
I can't make breakfast?

[Tami] Ha.

-Coffee?
-Uh, no, no, I'm good.

I already had six cups.

Jesus.

How long have you been up?

Uh, a while.

You know,
Brad needed a meeting,

so we hit the 6:30
at the church.

Brad needed a meeting?

Uh, yeah, no,
I mean, I guess

we-we both did.

You know,
between the house stuff

and BornFree,
it's kind of been a lot.

Okay, well, tell me before
it gets to be too much, okay?

Can't handle you falling
off the wagon right now.

Right. Yeah.

I saw my dad yesterday.

He might lose the house.

-Damn, it's that bad?
-Yeah.

Cami's baby cleaned out
his savings.

He never received
his SBA loan.

Cory's gonna move back home

to help
with the mortgage payments,

but probably won't be enough.

I told him
that I would talk to you

about us maybe taking over
my old bedroom.

What? No.
No, no, no, absolutely not.

Okay, look, I know
it's not ideal,

but we're gonna need
someplace to live.

Plus, the extra couple hundred
we could pitch in each month,

it would really make
a difference for Dad.

And free child care.
Two hot meals a day.

Yeah, you get that
in prison too.

Do we have a choice, Lip?

You got fired.
We have bills.

You know, you can't get
a mortgage without a job,

and either way,
we can't afford a house now.

So then we move back
into the RV, right?

Next to your family and a gang
of homicidal Milkoviches?

At least there,
we can have loud sex.

Right?

You know, we can walk around
in our underwear.

A-at Bob's, I feel like
I need to take a shower

and put on a tie every time
I want a cup of coffee.

Okay, uh, well, if you have
any helpful suggestions

about where we're gonna live,
I'm all ears.

I'll figure it out.

No, what the fuck
does that mean, Lip,

you'll figure it out?

'Cause I thought
that we were a we now.

And we are.

Okay.
[scoffs]

Well...

keep me posted
on what we come up with.

jaunty music

Oh, the prodigal thief returns.

Don't give me shit.

I was doing a favor
for your brother.

Yeah?
How'd your expedition go?

[Carl] What expedition?

Ian got his period
this morning,

sent me out for doughnuts.

Got to Sweet Susan's

before they sold out
of chocolate cream.

[Carl] I love Sweet Susan's.

[Mickey]
Fucking five-oh favorite.

Is it laundry day or something?

Day off.

[Liam] What's on deck?

[Carl] Furniture store.

Gonna blow
my sweet cop paycheck

on a brand-new crib.

-You moving out?
-[Carl] Moving down.

Taking over the basement.

None of you fuckers
are allowed down there.

-[door closes]
-Good morning, Gallagher youth.

Fuck off, Frank.

[Frank] Walked past
the Milkovich house.

Guess what I saw
in the front yard.

Absolutely nothing!

Not a racist redneck
or human turd in sight.

Even the tent city's quiet.

Terry's drive-by shooting's
gonna be the best thing

to ever happen
to the South Side.

[Ian] Anybody have any leads
on who shot him?

-Whoever did deserves a medal.
-Eh, I doubt we're looking.

It's not like Chicago PD's
gonna waste taxpayer dollars

on some piece of shit
like Terry Milkovich.

No offense, Mick.

None taken.

Oh, asshole's coming home
today.

[Ian] What, already?

Shouldn't he be going to rehab?

No such thing as rehab
for the poor.

They just dig out the bullet,
staple you shut,

and kick you in the nuts
on the way out.

[Ian] They sending him home
with a nurse or something,

at least?

I don't think so.

Sandy's been dealing
with the hospital.

I was hoping
the fucker'd just die.

Maybe Sandy's husband
could help.

Royal?
No fucking way.

That guy's a douchebag.

Hmm. Is that where she's
been staying, with Royal?

Fuck should I know?
Ask yourself.

Yeah, I would
if she called me back.

I've left her, like,
30 messages.

That is 29 times too many.

Tell her to grow some ovaries
and come talk to me.

Don't get me involved
in your dyke drama.

Deal with your own mess.

My mess?

She's the one who's married...

to a dude!

[Frank laughs]

Should anyone need me...
I'll be upstairs.

[Debbie]
Nobody needs you, Frank.

Hey, Debs, uh,
think we could finish up

the ambulance today?

Yeah, sure,
I'm finally getting

my ankle monitor off
this morning,

but, uh, in a few hours,
I should have

a little bit of time.

That work?

Can I get a ride
to school, Debs?

Sure, Liam.

Anybody else?
Do you need anything?

A massage?
Huh?

Wouldn't say no.

Fuck off, Mickey.

[Mickey chuckles]

Kev!

Where are the brownie pans?

Okay, here we go.

Two beautiful girls

ready to show their mommy off
at school.

Oh, I am so excited
to be class parent.

I need a break from the adults.

Hey, how many voters
did you register yesterday?

Three in five hours.

So many good Black folks
died from the virus

or moving away.

I'm starting to think
we should give up

and leave the South Side
to the gentrifiers.

Hey, those gentrifiers
buy weed,

the expensive stuff
with the weird names.

I had some hipster kid come in
for an edible yesterday.

He said that we're
the up-and-coming...

neighborhood,
said we're the next Pilsen.

Pilsen?

The place where they do
art walks?

Yeah,
and the fancy food trucks.

The other kids are gonna be
so jealous of you.

You guys have the sexiest mama
on the South Side.

A-and the smartest.

[Veronica]
Damn right, the smartest.

Girls, in 2021, we are ignoring
the male gaze

and focusing on our minds.

It's where the energy
needs to go.

Well, this male gaze
is gonna focus

on you walking out that door.

[Kev chuckles]

[Veronica laughs]

[shower running]

Frank, can I ask you something?

[Frank grunts]

Do you believe in God?

I mean, the evidence is thin,

but I think God is real...

[Frank grunts]

...which means so is Hell.

[Frank groans]

Say you did something bad
by accident.

Do you still go down there
and get tortured by demons?

Little hard to masturbate
when you keep asking me

questions about Catholicism,
kid.

It's fine.
I give up anyway.

Son, Hell, much like prisons,

is just a way
to frighten people

into submission.

You can buy a pardon
from the Catholic Church,

be absolved of your sins,

just like you can buy a judge.

It's the oldest scam
in the book.

How much is a pardon?

More than you'll ever have.

If you're worried
about something, go confess.

Light some candles,
say some Hail Marys,

and voilà, you're back
on God's good side,

unless, of course,
you did something really bad.

Then you'll be tormented

in the deepest depths of Hell
for eternity.

Last day at sex offender's
corner, Franny.

Isn't that great?

Tomorrow I can walk you
all the way to school.

Mommy, where's Sandy?

She's off lying somewhere
about being single.

I want Sandy.

-[cell phone clicks]
-Okay, say it again, sweetie.

Sandy needs to know
just how much you miss her.

Say, "Where's Sandy?
I want Sandy."

[softly] I want Sandy.

Louder.

[softly] I want Sandy.

Louder, like you mean it.

[Franny crying]

Thanks for nothing, Franny!

-[scoffs]
-[door slams]

rock music

[cylinder clicking]

[Zofia] This is stupid.

-You volunteer, then.
-Well, who put you in charge?

The Grand fucking Wizard,
that's who.

[Mickey] Yo!

What are you idiots doing?

Joey here has a dumb idea.

-Yeah.
-Shut up!

Can't decide
who's gonna take care

of Uncle Terry
when he gets back.

Take care?

Feed him, empty his shit bag,
and wash his balls.

Fuck, man.

Jeez, with the fucking imagery.

So we're playing
Russian roulette.

Four of us,
three bullets in the gun.

Whoever doesn't get shot
takes care of the cripple.

[cylinder clicking]

Seems like a great plan.

[Sammy]
I shouldn't have to play.

I'm the one servicing
that old bag

twice a week
so we can keep our house.

Wait, you're fucking McCurdy?

Yeah, he should get a pass.

Screw it.
I'm going first.

I'd rather die
than wash Terry's balls.

[Mickey]
All right, hold on.

Hold on. Hold o--
Put that down.

Look, I'm not gonna lie:
as fun as it would be

to watch you all blow
your fucking brains out,

I actually happen to like
one or two of you.

So, Alek, you're his favorite.
You're doing it.

Yeah, he's right.
You're his favorite.

But that-that's only
because I let him

practice ringen on me
as a kid.

What's ringen?

German wrestling,
very homo-sexy.

And my shoulder's
still messed up.

Well, you got off easy,
'cause he's been actually

trying to kill my ass
last couple years.

So ring, ring,
duty fucking calls.

jaunty music

Let's get it started

Just leave
your problems home

Strictly good vibes
over here

Let's get it started

Everybody just say it
with me

One time
real loud and clear

Let's get it started

Let's get it started

Let's get it started

Let's get it started

Excellent.

[bell chimes]

Ah, Mrs. G.

Light brain teaser with
your morning coffee, I see.

Good choice.

Gotta exercise
those mental muscles.

What do you want, Frank?

I'm here to pick up my stuff.

What stuff?

I...

I paid for five ounces
in advance.

You wrote it down somewhere,

on a Post-it note,
back of a napkin--

No need to write it down.
Mind's a steel trap.

We're all settled up.
I don't owe you anything.

Okay, now, I'm not just
a college kid

buying a doobie
with his daddy's money.

My sativa, please.

[Gor] Everything okay out here?

[Frank]
Yes. No!

No, your mom's trying to pull
a fast one on me.

You know, there was a time
on the South Side

when we had honor, a code.

Maybe it was before
you people moved in.

What is he talking about?

No idea. Frank?

You gonna leave or not?

No!
Absolutely not--

[body thuds]

Why don't you guys
move back here?

Oh, Tami doesn't want to,

said she'd rather have Fred
see white nationalists

on the TV at Bob's
than in the yard next door,

and, you know,
I can't say I blame her.

The neighborhood's on the up,

but block keeps getting
shittier.

Pop?

Maybe we should just cut
our losses, move in with Bob.

We can be
the fucked-up Brady Bunch.

No, no, no,
don't give up yet, man.

All right?

Look, we sell the stuff
from BornFree.

That'll carry us for a while.

We'll put the parts
and the tools downstairs.

Now, our only real problem
are the bikes.

Can't use my garage.
It's full of baby crap.

Yeah,
we couldn't use that anyway.

You know, it's the first place
the cops would look.

The cops?

Yeah, they might come
poking around.

[scoffs]
Guess you've done this before.

Yeah, it's
in the Gallagher playbook.

You get it at birth.

Your brother's not gonna be
a problem, the cop?

No, Carl wouldn't turn
on family.

[Brad] Okay.

And Steely Susan.
There you go.

Thank you very much.

Enjoy responsibly.

I mean, with rehab, he might
move his arms again one day.

-Who knows? He could even walk.
-[Ian] I don't get it.

What's so great
about your dad walking again?

Less of a burden on the family.

What are you guys
talking about?

Terry's coming home today.

[Kev] So soon?

Don't worry.
He's a fucking vegetable.

That's the most I've heard you
talk about your dad in...ever.

Why do you care?

Why save a man just to dump him
on his family?

Like, do the world a favor.
Pull the fucking plug already.

Jesus, Mick.

Being long-term sick
is worse than death.

You fix that
by improving services,

not by killing people.

I don't wanna pay
for Terry's wet nurse

with my tax money.

You pay taxes on this weed?

Sometimes, a little bit.

Uh-huh.

It's a lot of product, Kev.

Yeah, he almost shat himself
on the way here.

I'll feel better once
we finish up the ambulance.

We're bulletproofing it

and adding a safe
for all this cash.

Smart,
weed's selling faster

than toilet paper
during quarantine.

All right, nice doing business
with you, Chapo.

Come on, sugar tits.

We got an ambulance
to pimp out.

rock music

Hey, Timmy.
It's me, Liam, from next door.

I know who you are.

Um, I heard
about your Uncle Terry.

Not my uncle, my dad.

Well, guess he's actually
my uncle and my dad.

I'm really sorry, man.

Why do you give a shit?

It's just sad that--

Only time a man
apologizes for something

is if he did it
or knows who did.

You know who it was?

Do you?

No!
I was just trying to--

[Timmy] When we find
the bastard that shot

Pappy Terry,
he'll be more than paralyzed.

We'll cut him up,
bleed him out,

grind him up,
and feed him to our dogs.

[school bell rings]

[Muzak playing]

-[employee] Sir--
-[customer] It says right here.

-Right here!
-[employee] Uh, sir?

[over P.A. system]
Someone from bathrooms

to the living room section,
please.

[customer] It says right here
on the receipt,

free returns for 90 days.

[employee] Uh, your purchase
was made 123 days ago.

No, it wasn't!

Sir, I can tell you used
a ballpoint pen

to change the three to a four.

[customer] You calling me
a fucking liar now?

You know what?
I wanna speak to your manager.

-Where is he?
-[Carl] Hey, is there

a problem over here?

'Cause it looks like
from over there,

you're harassing this kind
and capable lady manager

who's just trying to help
you out with your return.

I might've lost my temper.

Why don't you take a walk
and come back when you find it?

-Yes, of course.
-[soft scoff]

Thank you, Officer.

Sorry.

[employee] Mm.

Real asshole.

-Not even the worst one today.
-[both chuckle]

People are so on edge
since the corona.

Thank you for rescuing me,
um...

Carl.

Tish.

You kind of came
out of nowhere, Carl.

Oh, no, I just came
from the recliner section.

Right.
Well, I can help you.

Are you looking
for anything in particular?

I'm looking for something
comfortable but not too stuffy.

I got just the thing.

Storage arm,
five-speed massage.

How much is it?

[Tish] Too much.
[laughs]

But I'd love to use
my employee discount for you.

It's 20 percent.

I owe you.

Yeah, I guess you do
kind of owe me.

I could throw in
my phone number too

if you want it.

All right, cool.

Great.

[Tish laughs]

[Veronica]
Okay, let's do books!

How many books
can you count in the class?

-One, good.
-[children] One, two...

-[Veronica] Two.
-[children] ...three...

[Veronica] Uh-huh.

[children] ...four!

[Veronica] Four!
Okay.

So four.
Is that it?

I'll be damned.

There's only four books
in this whole room?

All right,
add it to the table.

[Mrs. Sugar]
Good morning, class.

[children]
Good morning, Mrs. Sugar!

It's time to play
our special game,

and it's your class' turn
to assign roles this week.

[children] Yay!

[Veronica]
Yay! Ooh, yay!

What game are we playing?

It's our weekly
active shooter drill

or, as we like to call it,
"Hide from the bang-bangs."

All right, who wants
to be the shooter?

[children]
Me! Me! Me!

I love the initiative,
but remember, statistically,

most mass shooters are...

white boys.

Yes!

[Mrs. Sugar] Sorry, class.
Accuracy is important.

Now, Chris, come on.
Suit up.

Here, get this.

[Veronica] This can't be real.

[Mrs. Sugar] Spin it.

All right, off you go.

Get in position.

Okay, who wants to be
"in the bathroom"

or "in the hallway"?

[Amy and Gemma]
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

[Mrs. Cardenas] Okay, you two,
head to the bathroom.

Girls, wait for Mama.

Y'all play this game
every week?

[Amy] Yes, Mommy.
We always win.

I don't see how there can be
any winners in this game.

Okay, ready.
Here we go.

[gunshot]

[Gemma] Mama, hurry, hurry!

I'm coming!
Mama's coming!

Whoo, that kid's gonna need
a hell of a therapist!

heavy rock music

-Clear.
-Clear!

Oh, my goodness.
What do I do?

[Amy and Gemma] Door!

Shields.

Honey, the bullets
will go right through these.

These are where
my brownie pans went?

We made shields.

[sighs]
This is messed up.

I keep you safe, Mommy.

[drill whirring]

And do you wanna know
the worst part of all of this?

Oh, God, not again.

I don't know how much longer
I can take this, Debs.

Do you wanna give me
a safe space to vent

about my relationship,

or do you wanna pay
my regular welding rate?

Fine.

Go ahead.

I mean,
I opened up my life to Sandy:

my daughter, my family,
you guys...

Well, technically,
she's my cousin,

and I fucked her first.

...assuming that she
was doing the same thing,

but she shut me out,
so now I'm sitting here,

butt naked, vulnerable,
and heartbroken

while she's building up
a goddamn border wall

between the two of us.

Hey, guys.
Uh, Mick, talk to you

-for a minute?
-Yes, please.

[Debbie] I just don't know
why she would do that to me

after everything
that we've been through.

All right, so I can't find
a place to stash the bikes.

I put some of the parts
in my garage,

but the basement's out.

Look, we gotta get the bikes
off the truck

and figure out a way to sell
them--I need the money.

All right, I might have
a spot for you,

but I'ma need a finder's fee.

On top of your cut
from last night?

Gotta make that bread.

Fine, two percent.

[laughs]
Ten.

-Five.
-Deal.

I'll finish up the ambulance.

We'll go stash the bikes,
all right?

Okay.

[Frank] That hurts.

Can I get something
for the pain?

[nurse] No, we need you lucid
to rule out a concussion.

Know how you got here?

Not on my own free will.

A woman found you
unconscious and bleeding

behind a dumpster,

called 911.

You're lucky.
Head injuries can be serious.

Is this fine citizen gonna pay
for the ambulance too,

or what's this
gonna set me back?

So...how did this happen?

I hit my head.

On what?

On a...a pole.

It was, like, hanging down
from the side of a building.

What's your name again?

-Frank.
-Frank what?

G-Gallagher.

Can you remember
three words for me?

Blue, handlebar, pedestrian.

Pedestrian, like your question.

Blue, like my balls.

Handlebar.
I got it.

What year is it, Frank?

About ten years after I walked
into this fucking ER.

Who's the president?

Vladimir Putin.

Oh, you mean
of the United States?

Um...

same...same answer.

What words did I ask you
to remember?

I'm not-I'm not playing
this game anymore.

-Are you--
-Gonna need...

gonna need to run
some more tests.

Strap in.
It's gonna take a while.

[ambulance siren
wails in background]

[Mickey] Let's move it.

We're late
for our cash pickups.

Better late than dead.

[Sandy] Zofia! Alek!
We're here!

Come on, help me
get him up.

-[chair lift whirring]
-[whispers] Oh, fuck.

[softly ]Fuck.

[chair lift whirring]

-All right.
-Take this shit off my face.

[indistinct muttering,
swearing]

Get this off my face.

[Milkoviches shouting
indistinctly]

I got it!

[Alek] Come on, bitch, lift
the fucking--just lift it.

[Sammy] I got it, okay?

Should we help?

[Zofia] Can you actually
do something?

No.

[arguing continues]

[Sandy] Come on, you're pulling
on my fucking--

-[Sammy] Agh!
-[Sandy] I need

-a fucking break.
-[Zofia] Ow! Fuck.

[Alek] Oh, shit.

[Sandy] We need to get him up
to the fucking house.

[Alek] Hey, should we, uh...
build a ramp?

[Sandy] A ramp, yeah.

We need to get...

[Milkoviches arguing]

[wheelchair clattering]

Go get a ramp.

We need to get him
in the house.

Okay?

Yeah, it's...

weird seeing the old cripple
in pain like that.

[Sammy] Here we go.
Here we go!

I could walk over there
right now

and scoop his eyeball out
with a spoon.

Couldn't do a damn thing
about it.

You could do that.

Piss on him,
let him air-dry,

use his mouth
for a fucking ashtray.

[Alek] It's not helping.

We gotta get the ramp
on the stairs.

What, you wouldn't feel
the same way if it was Frank?

I don't think
I'd wish that on Frank...

[Zofia]
Come on, you guys.

...or anybody, really.

Well, Frank's not
a homophobic psychopath

who tortured you every day
for years.

No, he's just an
emotionally abusive alcoholic

who stole my money for drugs,
broke my nose,

tried to profit off my mania.

I guess we both had shit dads.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

Lip, you comin'?

Yep.

Hi.

Hey.

How come you haven't returned
my texts?

Uh, I've been a little busy.

-[whispers] Fuck.
-[groans] Ugh...

Who's Royal?
How long have you been married?

Are you getting a divorce?

Shut the fuck up,

you stinking bitches.

Jesus Christ.

How the fuck did I end up
with a family full of faggots?

-[scoffs]
-Your mama liked it up the ass.

-That's how.
-Fuck you, dyke.

Oh, shut up, or I'll feed you
your colostomy bag.

[sighs]

I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about Royal,

but I'm-I'm handling it.

Handling it how?

Uh, I've got it under control.

That's it?
That's...

all you're gonna give me?

Uh...[scoffs]
Debbie, like, I can--

No, honestly, fuck that.
I'm done.

Have a good life
with your fucking husband.

[Alek] Hey!

[laughing] Hey, ah.

We can cut the legs off this,

use it as a ramp.

Then where do we cut
the drugs, huh,

and clean the guns?

-Fucking eat?
-Fuck!

-Use your stupid brain, idiot.
-Oh, fuck you, Terry.

Let's fucking leave him
out here.

You coming?
Come on, Zofia.

Yeah, works for me.

God damn it.

[door slams]

I understand your concern.

This country is a hotbed
of mass shooters.

Why are we training them
for free?

We're not;
we're teaching

our most vulnerable
how to think quickly,

act defensively
in a high-stress situation.

Any kid with half a brain

can learn
from one of those drills

how to go about
shooting up a school.

Twenty bucks says
that Chris kid

is already stockpiling.

Oh, Chris' family are Quaker.

They don't believe in guns.

I don't feel comfortable
subjecting my girls

to this kind of trauma.

They are Black girls
in America.

At least at school,
they should be safe.

Well, I'm sorry,
we used our PE money

to give away hot lunches
during the pandemic.

Can't afford gym class,

so pretending to run scared
down the hallway

from a crazed shooter's
the only cardio

these kids are gonna get
all week.

It's like what
Mrs. Obama said, right?

Kids gotta move.

Don't think
that's what she meant.

Well, I'm sorry.

-Appreciate you coming in.
-[line rings]

rock music

[cell phone chimes]

-[knock at door]
-Yo.

Love what you've done
with the place.

Thanks.
Want a beer?

Eh, no, thanks.

Can I talk to you
about something?

Yeah.
What's up?

I didn't mean to do it,

but I did,
and now I can't sleep,

and I keep almost telling
the wrong people about it,

dangerous people.

Okay.

[sighs]
Terry, from next door?

That was my bullet,
from the gun you gave me.

No way!

You shot that fucking racist?

Outstanding.

It doesn't feel outstanding.

Feels like I have to pay
for it somehow,

rend my own flesh.

Oh, rend your what?

Penance.

Look, young gun.

You did what none of us
could do.

You saw a problem on the block

and took it into your own hands
to solve it.

Proud of you.

But you should probably
get rid of that gun

and bulk up a little bit,

just in case.

rock music

[Mickey] Yo, Kev.

How much you want
to let us take over Kev-Fit

for a couple days?

We can stash the bikes in here
till you find some buyers.

You're cool letting us
use your gym?

Am I cool renting out the space
for a few friends?

Yeah.

Only had five paying customers
return after quarantine.

Rudy tore his ass muscle,
so now it's four.

Besides, I don't know
what you're gonna do with it.

Stash stolen bikes.

[emphatically] I don't know
what you're gonna do with it.

How much?

Five percent.

Deal.

-[whistles]
-Unbelievable.

Think you'll at least
break even?

Get used to it.
It's a whole new world, Lip.

Every man for himself
after COVID.

-[lighter flicking]
-[Mickey chuckles]

[upbeat Latin music playing
over speakers]

Hey.

Just set your stuff down
over there.

Cool.
I'm Debbie.

The hot lesbian
convict handywoman.

I know.
Like I said, over there.

Okay.
Ex-convict, actually.

I just got
my ankle bracelet off.

Congratulations.

That calls for a drink
on the house.

Hey, Haley, why don't we, uh,
get her

one of those local IPAs?

Hey.
Calista.

Debbie.

I didn't know gay bars
were coming to the South Side.

Yeah, well, uh, Logan Square's
getting too crowded, and...

-Boystown's gotten too loud.
-[Debbie] Ha.

You're not gonna throw
a brick through my window

or weld my door shut,
are you?

'Cause I heard people
around here

don't love outsiders.

As long as you're not
a CrossFit bro or a yogi,

we welcome
all queer transplants.

So what can I do for you?

Right, um, I was hoping

you could put this up.

[laughs] Subtle.

Yeah.

It was either pussycat
or the rainbow flag.

Good choice.

Two cheeseburger combos
with fries, supersized,

two frozen daiquiris,
two pies,

and a scoop of ice cream.

[Tish]
Wow. [chuckles]

You supersized them?

This cop paycheck
ain't gonna spend itself.

God, it's so cool
that you're so young

and you have, like,
a real-person job.

[Carl laughs]

[Tish] Do you get benefits?

Even vision.

I've got 20/20,
so it doesn't really matter,

but if I ever need glasses,
I got the hookup.

I wear contacts,
and they are expensive.

You ever get shot?

I get shot at all the time.

I guess I've just
gotten lucky so far.

Ever seen a dead body?

Lots, but that's just
growing up on the South Side.

-Mm.
-You from here?

Born and raised.

Why did you become a cop?

I just wanted to keep an eye
on the neighborhood.

Then there's
the pension, right?

I feel a lot safer knowing
Officer Carl is out there,

keeping the streets safe,

supersizing meals.

I'm just happy
to be of service, ma'am.

What are we doing here?

We're supposed to be making
a delivery in Bronzeville.

Gonna take a shit.

Since when do you come home
to take a...shit!

Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, come on.
It's not worth it.

Don't even think about it,
faggots.

-[Mickey] Shut the fuck up.
-Keep your hands off me,

or I'll shoot you dead.

What are you staring at,
dipshit?

Mick, pause.

Think about it.
Is he worth it?

[Terry] Your old man's
a cripple.

Easiest target you'll ever get.

Bet you still miss.

-[trigger cocks]
-[Ian] Fuck.

[Terry] Go on, do it.

You'd be doing me
a favor, pussy.

[breathing shakily]

[whimpering]

What the fuck was that?

Nothing.

[rock music playing
over speakers]

[Letty] There he is.

[Frank] Hey.

Letty.
From last night.

Monica?

[stammering]

Yes, of course.
Whoa.

You're a sight for sore eyes.

You will not believe
the day I have had.

Drink?

Barkeep!

Beer for me and the lady.

Put it on my tab.

You don't have a tab.

Well, then start one.

Sure, Frank, why don't I
just wipe my ass

with some Benjamins
while I'm at it?

[customer]
Is your weed locally grown?

[Kev] Sure is.
Organic and free-range.

Let me give you a tour.

Frank, honey, you okay?

I bumped my head.

Aw.

Poor baby.

Do you want me to kiss it
where it hurts?

[chuckles]

[R&B music playing
over speakers]

Oh, wow, that looks great.

-Yeah, thanks.
-Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Come to our opening tonight.

Bring your girlfriend
if she's free.

Not really sure.

If she's free?

If I have a girlfriend.

Do tell.

God, where to start?
Okay.

Uh, so I just found out
that she's fucking married...

to a guy.

I have no idea
how she met this guy,

how long they've been together,
if she's still seeing him.

I mean, it's not like
I haven't asked.

All I do is ask.

She just won't give me
any answers.

Dude.

You think she's straight
and just experimenting?

Maybe love is just impossible.

-Yeah, agreed.
-[chuckles]

You know Haley.

That's my ex...

wife--
ex-wife.

Tell you a secret?

Yeah.

I, uh...hired you
to make her jealous.

You wanna give her something

to make her lose
her mind about?

Hey, did you hear BornFree
got broken into last--

What are you doing?

Rearranging some stuff.

Rearranging boxes
I've never seen before

with the BornFree logo on them?

Brad and I broke in.

What the fuck?
Why?

Because I'm-I'm fucking tired,
Tami.

All right?
I worked my ass off

to make this home for us,
and now some hipsters

are gonna move in?

You know, Milton gets
to cash in on my work,

and I get to go live
with Bob?

A-and Brad sells BornFree
to some douchebags

who think a hog
is just a large pig,

and I get fired,
and I just...

I just-I needed
to do something.

All right?
I-I needed to fix something.

And if you get caught

and go to jail,
what is that gonna fix

for Fred?

I'm sorry.

Okay?
I get it.

-I fucked up.
-Yeah.

[laughing] Oh, you did.

I been thinking, you know,

and-and I can make it right.

Okay?
The-the house part.

We can't go back to mine.

The Milkoviches
are a ticking time bomb, right?

So we leave.

Okay?
All of us, the Gallaghers.

We sell the house, all right?

W-we each take our share,

and you and I can use that
to get our own place.

You think your family
would go for it?

All right, maybe it's time
we make gentrification

our friend.

All right?
We...

we cash in.

upbeat music

[Ian sighs]

Long fucking day.

Gotta get over to The Alibi,

help your brother
unload those bikes.

[Terry] Motherfuckers,
get me into the house!

It's gonna rain out here!

Shut the fuck up!

[Terry] Fuck you!

Would you take care of me
if I was paralyzed?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You'd make a great RealDoll.

Top you whenever I wanted.

Asshole.

[Terry] Come and get me,
you ungrateful shits!

rock music

Be right back.

[Terry] What the fuck you want?

Shut it!

Ouch!

Aw, your drugs wearing off?

You're fucking clumsy.
That's the fucking problem.

Get out and help me push,
tough guy.

[Terry] Egh.

-[wheelchair thuds]
-Oh, God.

Can I help?

Fuck no!

Stop looking at me.

Don't drop me, limp wrist.

Charming.

[both grunting]

I got the door.

It's locked.

Think we've done enough.

Fuck you very much.

That was big of you.

He's an asshole.

I wanna be better than that.

Hey.

You are so much better
than that.

rock music

[Veronica] Please tell
Alderman Jenkins

that I expect
a callback today.

He's got me canvassing
the whole of the South Side.

The least he can do
is help me with this.

All right, thank you.

Hey, babe.
How was class mom day?

Did you know
that they are running

active shooter drills
at that school?

Yeah, I talked to the girls
about it last night.

I gave them our brownie pans

so they could use it
as shields.

How'd that work out?

It did not work out.

We hid in a bathroom
for half an hour.

I had to turn away some kid

who was trying to get in there
for shelter.

He got pretend shot
out there

and had to act
like he was dead, Kev.

-Dead.
-Sounds kind of fun.

It wasn't.
I spent my whole day

trying to put an end
to those drills--

What's that?

I'm cleaning out Kev-Fit.

Some people just left
some old, sweaty equipment

-before the quarantine.
-What kind of stuff?

Oh, jump rope, weights,
some basketballs.

[rock music playing
over speakers]

Kev, we can use this

to bring gym class back
for the girls.

You think anyone'll miss it?

Members got 'rona and died, V.

I don't think anybody's
coming back for it.

Yes, this is good.
I can use this.

And now all I gotta do
is get Black folks

moving back
into the neighborhood.

Black folks
don't shoot up schools.

When Mikaela
has a problem with Laquon,

she knows she gotta go
to his mama's house,

handle it there.

White folks are the only ones

running around with AR-15s
strapped to their chest.

Guns should've been outlawed
hundreds of years ago.

Machine guns, yeah.

All guns.
What's anyone need a gun for?

Protection.

Kev?

What?

Well, well, well.

What do we have here?

Holy shit.

It's the end of an era,
my worthy foe.

I admit, I wish you had fallen
by my sword,

but an act of God
will have to do.

-[groans]
-[softly] Shoot me.

Did you say something?

I said shoot me.

I'd share with you,

but I don't know
how you drink now.

Probably a sippy cup, eh?

Do not go gently
into that good night.

You know what that means?

It's Welsh for "giving up
is for pussies."

I never took you
for a coward, Terry.

A racist, yeah.

Stinking redneck, definitely.

But a coward...

...that's new.

We had some good days, though,

running the South Side,

battling over territory,

the Milkoviches
versus the Gallaghers.

[Terry]
Yeah, it was a goddamn saga.

[Frank] For the history books.

I guess the least I could do...

...is a mercy killing.

May you go with dignity.

Nah.

rock music

I just don't like you
that much.

Have a good night.

[laughs]

Fucking Gallaghers.

[Sandy] Debs.

Can we talk?

melancholy rock music

Scram.

Come on, fuck off.

Here we are

We had a ball

- Are you having fun...
-I do wanna tell you things.

It's not that I don't.

It's just...

some things, I really don't
like to think about.

Okay.

When I met Royal...

Can you turn around?

-Hmm?
-Can you turn around?

I think this might be easier

if I don't have to look
at your face.

Okay.

Just...
[clears throat]

Here I go

[sighs]

When I met Royal,

I was 15...

in a tight spot.

I mean, you know my family.
You get it.

[chuckles]

And he offered me
a better life,

so I said yes.

We got married.

I tried to make it work.

I-I really fucking did, but...

...I had to get out.

So I've been going
from car to couch ever since.

And no matter
how shitty things are,

at least I know I never have
to be with that fucker again.

So you don't have to worry.
There's...nothing going on.

I love you.

What?

I love you.

Shit.

I think I might love you too.

[Tish] Wow.

I love your place.

[chuckles]
And the recliner.

-[chuckles]
-Great choice.

Oh.

Your benefit package is huge.

[both giggle]

[Tish] Mm.

disquieting rock music

Hang on.
Let me find a condom first.

Oh, it's okay.
I don't need it.

Honestly, it feels
so much better without it.

I know, for me too,
trust me, but...

-I just have this one rule.
-[Tish] Come on.

Officer,
it's not that big a deal.

Look, I do it all the time.
I never got pregnant.

Just-just pull out.

[Tish] Mm, mm.

[laughter]

It would be so hot

if I could really feel you
inside me right...

[Carl]
Oh. Oh, shit.

[Tish moaning]

[Carl sighs]

I had a really nice time.

Uh...yeah.
[chuckles]

I'd love to do this again.

-Yeah. [chuckles]
-Tomorrow?

Sure.

Great.
It's a date.

-I'll cook.
-[chuckles]

-Bye.
-Bye.

What's the matter, Carl?
You couldn't get it up?

No, I came.

You couldn't make her come?

[Carl] No.

[Frank]
Happens to the best of us.

The female anatomy
is a wondrous mystery.

It's really not.

[Carl] Something weird
happened with that girl.

Her name was Tish.

Yeah, that is weird, man.

Shut up.
I wanna hear this.

She didn't wanna use
a condom, but I did.

You know,
I tried to put one on anyway,

but she was all over me,

kissing, grabbing.

And then when I was ready,
I tried to pull out,

but she wrapped her legs
so tight

and wouldn't let me, and...

I-I don't know what happened.

I...guess...

she did it with me.

I-I don't know.
It's hard to explain.

No, it's not.
She raped you.

What?
No, I wanted to have sex.

Well, did you wanna have sex
with her without a condom?

No.

[Debbie] Did you tell her that?

Yeah.

And she ignored that boundary.

I guess.

You're lucky
you got to raw-dog her, son.

Most women carry
their own condoms these days.

-[Lip] Hey!
-[Debbie] Hey.

Good, I was, uh, hoping
to catch you all home.

-[Ian] Yo.
-We wanted to talk

to y'all about something.

[Debbie] You pregnant?

No. Um, we wanted--

-[Ian] You're dying.
-No, just...hold on.

Jesus Christ, could we just
have a, uh, family meeting?

-All right?
-How long is it gonna take?

I'm fucking starving, Lip.

We, uh...

we were thinking
we wanna sell the house.

You know, I mean this house,
the, uh...the Gallagher house.

You know, if we fix it up
a little bit,

like Tami and I did
with Milton's,

uh, we could make
a nice profit.

We'd each take our share,

and, uh, you know, we could...

get on with our lives.

[elevated train
rattling in background]

Fuck that.

Good idea, but no way.
You're not selling my house.

-[Ian] We're in.
-[all arguing]

[Ian] It's not your house.

[arguing continues, muffled]

pensive guitar music

"My name is Frank Gallagher.

I live at 2119 Wallace..."

Dementia?

Anywhere with my heart

Only small things hurt

All the small things live

Places you can't stay

I say you fooled it all

[phones ringing]
[indistinct chatter]

Can I help you?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm here to report
a sexual assault.

[sighs]

Another woman falls prey
to the patriarchy.

What's her name?

Uh...Carl...uh, Carl.

Ah, the good ole days

Hey, Dr. Mantis

My brain's
not quite together

I've got just the thing

Gonna make it all
quite better

Remember, ah ah

The good ole days

Remember, ah ah

The good ole days

Remember, ah ah

The good ole days